Virgo:: It's time to take down the "Under Construction" signs and clean up the messes from your works in progress. At least for now, your heart has lost its drive for further renovation and rehabilitation. Whether you think you're ready or not, then, it's time for a grand re-opening. I suggest you offer free toasters or other incentives to pull in new clients, as well as to coax disaffected old ones into returning. It may also help to put up an "Under New Management" sign.
Well, I agree and I disagree. I still do have a drive for further renovation and rehabilitation in general-- simply no longer in a specific arena. I have told Skyler that I do not desire to have a friendship with him for the time being. I need to take time to work on myself in a way that does not include him, both because our behavior of late has been inconsistent, imbalanced, and hurtful, and because I need to break the habit of looking to him for sensitivity and support until my feelings for him have changed. The conversation went well-- it was friendly and respectful, and left the door open for building a friendship in the future after we have both worked on things in ourselves that cause pain to one another.
So, in that case, my heart very much is under new management, and I will continue to renovate myself so that I can be the best that I can be-- it's not the easy route, but it will hopefully attract wonderful potential partners who can appreciate me as I deserve to be appreciated, and who will work as hard as I am willing to in order to have a fulfilling relationship. I'm working on getting my priorities straight about things I want in a partner so that when the time comes, I'll know what I'm looking for. I mean, I'm not worried. In the scheme of things, I've been single for... something like two months in the last five years. I'm not exactly worried that I'll die old, alone, and eaten by cats (though if that's your thing, more power to ya). But I am very clear that I'm not going to punk out and use someone else as a band-aid for things that I know I need to work on, and after all, I can only change myself.
In other news, I tried Vosges'
Cocoa Bianca, and it is absolutely to die for.
Lemon myrtle, indigenous to the Aboriginal people of Australia, is a refreshing flavor hinting at lemongrass and Kaffir lime leaves. Lavender flowers bring a bouquet of floral fragrance reminiscent of the fields in Provence, France. Madagascar vanilla bean from the African coast is an alluring herb with a hypnotic aroma. Try it before bedtime; white chocolate is free of caffeine.
I was worried about the white chocolate being too sweet for me, but the lemon myrtle is really great. It did have an overall comforting and restorative property to it, and I think it was well worth the price for a luxury treat.
Also, I took a nice currant-scented bath last night and began 'The Lost Domain' section in
Saffron and Brimstone by Elizabeth Hand. Perhaps it's where I find myself at this point in my life, but "Calypso in Berlin" is some of the finest writing I've ever read by her. It resonated very deeply and featured some of the most stirring imagery I've seen in some time. I'm going to continue with 'Echo,' but I may read it again first to truly savor the prose.
Overall-- things in my world are challenging at present. But I've got good friends, and I've got strength. I'm getting back on my feet, and soon, I'll be better than ever.
