I ended up having myself a Merry Little Christmas after all. It started off pretty rough to be honest, and I fully expected to spend my day moping at family functions. This weekend was incredibly tough-- I did cry through most of it. Yay holiday spirit, right?
But in the end, I've got this:
-- My friends love me. Even when I don't call them back because I'm being too emo to live, my friends still love me.
-- My family might be comprised of total caricatures, but they're getting better with age. Growing up sucked the big one, but adulthood is generally pretty okay.
-- Things are craptastic with Skyler right now. As soon as he calls me back with a password for the router he set up in my house, we're going to commence with the giving each other space and a wide berth for awhile. Considering how quickly everything went down, and how we were in each others' social spaces all weekend long, things were tense and emotionally exhausting, to put it mildly. There was no public nastiness, just tension, but that really can't be helped. The plan is to get together to talk at some nebulous time after New Year's to figure out what kind of interaction, if any, we want from one another. Until then, things will be okay, I guess. Just vaguely uncomfortable. I know that space is the best possible thing if we're going to retain anything positive from our relationship, but for right now, I hate not knowing what to say when people ask me what's up. Do I say that we broke up? Because if the plan is to talk it over later, I don't know that that's necessarily accurate. I guess I say we're taking a break. We need to really work on rebuilding trust on both sides if we do plan to see each other in the future, and that kind of thing just doesn't materialize overnight. We do care about one another, there's no question about that. It just may be that a relationship isn't what's best for us. Time will tell.
-- Still, his friends and family are fan-fucking-tastic for being awesome to me regardless of our drama and status, and respectful of the situation in general.
-- Little things matter.
--Orphan Christmases are the best. Jon didn't go home for the holidays this year because of work, so we ended up watching Firefly and drinking Frontier Red with my roommate's boyfriend, Jayson, which is infinitely preferable to moping at family gatherings. I don't feel too bad about not having the holiday spirit this year. I got the friendship spirit instead, and that's worth more, I think.
I'm going to do a completely crass loot post later. I've been waiting to do it so it's all in one place and I can have a big, unadulterated moment of omgsqueeyay. Because I did get some shinies this year.
17flyingfish and aggiebell, I still have gifts for you! Let me know when you want them!
Also, I still have no concrete plans for New Year's Eve. I plan to be at a hot tub party the night of the 30th into the afternoon of the 31st, but as for the evening itself, I'll be free. Anybody want a kiss at midnight? Tell me your plans!
But in the end, I've got this:
-- My friends love me. Even when I don't call them back because I'm being too emo to live, my friends still love me.
-- My family might be comprised of total caricatures, but they're getting better with age. Growing up sucked the big one, but adulthood is generally pretty okay.
-- Things are craptastic with Skyler right now. As soon as he calls me back with a password for the router he set up in my house, we're going to commence with the giving each other space and a wide berth for awhile. Considering how quickly everything went down, and how we were in each others' social spaces all weekend long, things were tense and emotionally exhausting, to put it mildly. There was no public nastiness, just tension, but that really can't be helped. The plan is to get together to talk at some nebulous time after New Year's to figure out what kind of interaction, if any, we want from one another. Until then, things will be okay, I guess. Just vaguely uncomfortable. I know that space is the best possible thing if we're going to retain anything positive from our relationship, but for right now, I hate not knowing what to say when people ask me what's up. Do I say that we broke up? Because if the plan is to talk it over later, I don't know that that's necessarily accurate. I guess I say we're taking a break. We need to really work on rebuilding trust on both sides if we do plan to see each other in the future, and that kind of thing just doesn't materialize overnight. We do care about one another, there's no question about that. It just may be that a relationship isn't what's best for us. Time will tell.
-- Still, his friends and family are fan-fucking-tastic for being awesome to me regardless of our drama and status, and respectful of the situation in general.
-- Little things matter.
--Orphan Christmases are the best. Jon didn't go home for the holidays this year because of work, so we ended up watching Firefly and drinking Frontier Red with my roommate's boyfriend, Jayson, which is infinitely preferable to moping at family gatherings. I don't feel too bad about not having the holiday spirit this year. I got the friendship spirit instead, and that's worth more, I think.
I'm going to do a completely crass loot post later. I've been waiting to do it so it's all in one place and I can have a big, unadulterated moment of omgsqueeyay. Because I did get some shinies this year.
17flyingfish and aggiebell, I still have gifts for you! Let me know when you want them! Also, I still have no concrete plans for New Year's Eve. I plan to be at a hot tub party the night of the 30th into the afternoon of the 31st, but as for the evening itself, I'll be free. Anybody want a kiss at midnight? Tell me your plans!
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