There's nothing I can say about London that has not already been said. That sick feeling has returned. I can't comprehend terrorism, and I never could. I don't understand how a group of people could be so full of rage and anger that they feel entitled to kill innocents. I don't understand how this could be for "God." I don't understand. Those motherfucking cowards.

I don't believe in hell, but there are times when I pray that there's a special plane of torment just for people like that.

To my friends in London, I am deeply sorry.

My morning has not been a good one, though it doesn't compare. Work has been terrible. I didn't sleep well. I kept having vivid dreams that I was holding Sita, and she kept wriggling out of my hands, and then I couldn't find her.

I woke up panicked and rushed over to her aquarium to check on her. Surely enough, she was dead in her water bowl. It hit me like a punch to the stomach.

Earlier in the week, I'd noticed a little brown spot under her chin, and over the course of two days, it got somewhat larger. She was more sluggish than usual, but everything else seemed fine-- she was eating less than usual, but still eating. I'd begun powdering her crickets with calcium so she'd have plenty of vitamins, but I was going to take her to the vet just to be sure that everything was okay. I didn't expect her to go so quickly.

I'm going to take her body into the pet store to see if they can identify what her disease was, so I can recognize it and treat it immediately when I get a new snake. According to one of my co-workers, she was probably sick when I bought her, and that the brown rings on her underbelly were not fighting scars, as I was told, but symptoms of an infection. I can at least feel as though I treated her well, and that she was comfortable. She was so sweet.

I do want to get another snake, because she made me really enjoy having one. I'm going to research heartier species, because as I understand, ribbon snakes are wild-bred and more suceptible to sickness. I also might look into something less active -- Sita was always wriggling all over the place, which made holding her an event that required constant attention. So. There's that.

I do believe that I've found two candidates for my first working tarot deck. I am extremely picky about the artwork, and I searched and searched for a deck that really called to me. As luck would have it, I found two.

Choice #1 is The Millennium Tarot by Dorothy Krause. The art is wonderfully evocative-- truly beautiful digital art.

Choice #2 is Art Nouveau Tarot Deck by Antonella Castelli. I love the Art Nouveau style because it is so sensuous, but not so overdone as to look like bad fantasy art. The only drawback is that it is a very female-centric deck, and I like a nice balance. Beautiful art, though.

I will probably eventually get both. The question is which to get first. I think that maybe I'm swayed by the pretty in the Nouveau deck, and that maybe I'll get that one for personal journalling / art projects, and save the other for actual use.

( Notes to self on Celtic Zodiac.Collapse )