My heart is slowly beginning to mend-- that is to say at least the pain is beginning to lessen from day to day. I know that I've made a lot of more personal posts on other filters dealing with all of the heart-wrenching agony that comes along with breaking things off with someone you care deeply about. They still hold true. I don't think that one negates the other. Those of you that know me-- well, you know it's been hard. I've tried to put it in words. Painful words. Frightened and tearful choking words. I'm dealing in my own way-- bits of grief over aeons of time. It's how I do things-- I can't let myself wallow. I can't let myself drown. Not now, of all times. I have to see things clearly. I have to keep my head up. There's too much beauty to miss.
Moving on-- I feel comfortable. I feel like I am growing. The new guy and I have been dating for about three weeks now, and it's casual and nice.
I think I like him so much because I'm not pretending to be someone I'm not when he's around. He's not putting me on a pedestal. We are what we are, and we're okay with that. He's okay with me being a work in progress. I'm transitioning in so many ways.
Last night, we went out to dinner at the Olive Garden. When he picked me up, the Hackers soundtrack was playing in his car. This is so cheesy and stupid, but maybe serendipitous. Who else besides me actually owns that damn CD? Honestly? Wow. It's things like that. The little things that click.
We have good conversations, honest conversations. We are very similar-- outgoing, alpha types-- but we're both fairly guarded when it comes to our own inner lives, our thoughts. This makes those honest conversations particularly cutting-- it's like being reflected in a two-way mirror.
Dinner was good, and he bought a bottle of champagne. We shared the tiramisu.
Emotionally, I don't know how I'm feeling. Experience has taught me not to rush into things. I suppose it's best if I simply say that I find myself wanting to be around him. I'm not saying this in a needy way or a moon-eyed way. Just that I enjoy his prescence. It's an easy thing, and maybe promising.
The new guy's name is Skyler.
-ETA: this was originally friendslocked out of respect for time and space. It's been a nearly a month since my breakup with Michael, and I am going to start unlocking things slowly. Easy does it.
Moving on-- I feel comfortable. I feel like I am growing. The new guy and I have been dating for about three weeks now, and it's casual and nice.
I think I like him so much because I'm not pretending to be someone I'm not when he's around. He's not putting me on a pedestal. We are what we are, and we're okay with that. He's okay with me being a work in progress. I'm transitioning in so many ways.
Last night, we went out to dinner at the Olive Garden. When he picked me up, the Hackers soundtrack was playing in his car. This is so cheesy and stupid, but maybe serendipitous. Who else besides me actually owns that damn CD? Honestly? Wow. It's things like that. The little things that click.
We have good conversations, honest conversations. We are very similar-- outgoing, alpha types-- but we're both fairly guarded when it comes to our own inner lives, our thoughts. This makes those honest conversations particularly cutting-- it's like being reflected in a two-way mirror.
Dinner was good, and he bought a bottle of champagne. We shared the tiramisu.
Emotionally, I don't know how I'm feeling. Experience has taught me not to rush into things. I suppose it's best if I simply say that I find myself wanting to be around him. I'm not saying this in a needy way or a moon-eyed way. Just that I enjoy his prescence. It's an easy thing, and maybe promising.
The new guy's name is Skyler.
-ETA: this was originally friendslocked out of respect for time and space. It's been a nearly a month since my breakup with Michael, and I am going to start unlocking things slowly. Easy does it.
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accomplished
indescribable