Some of you know, some of you don't. I don't tend to advertise it in my personal journal.

I'm a part of two ratings communities. In actuality, I run one because it was one that I was a part of, the owner deleted it in a fit of pique and people wanted to keep the 50-member, tight-knit community together. I donated the code and took charge of getting things back together.

Why am I bringing this up today? Michael, my boyfriend, just kind of blew up about it, saying that it was the worst and most hypocritical thing he's ever seen me do. I tried to give him my reasons for being a part of them, but I should have known better. As much as he goes on and on about people not getting along, he has his mind made up and from the starting gate, and his ears close automatically to other opinions. He's not interested in understanding at all, he's interested in saying, "My views are right, and if you disagree, you're stupid/wrong." That sounds like hypocrisy to me, and like I said, every person is hypocritical about something. The difference is that I recognize where I'm hypocritical.

So. I'm just going to say this in a space where I can't be interrupted every third word.

My reasons for being a part of a ratings community:

1) I have a character flaw. Everyone on this earth does. Mine is that I'm fucking vain. I know this, and I accept it just as much as I accept my positive traits. I don't feel the need to "fix" this particular trait at this time. This may change in the future, but right now, I'm pretty okay with it.

I'm in two ratings communities, places specifically designed for this, because I choose to exercise that vanity in a more appropriate place so that it doesn't spill into much less appropriate places, ie- real life and online friendships. Because I honestly do believe that looks are only a small facet of the entire package.

2) I see ratings comms as a form of entertainment to be taken with a grain of salt. I don't see this as any more vapid than other forms of popular entertainment. When you go to the movies or watch tv, what do you see? Pretty people. I like to look at pictures of pretty people. As groups like rightclicklick and rightclickchick can attest, I don't seem to be alone in this. Our entire concept of popular entertainment is heavily printed with the stress on the physical. Just because the people in the communities don't make thousands of dollars in the actual entertainment industry, they aren't any more to blame for perpetuating myths that there is one true physical ideal. Our entire mainstream culture has already bought into this wholesale.

Furthermore, this concept extends to other forms of entertainment, like pro sports. Popularity in sports results from skill (which is ofter directly related to genetic/physical attributes in games like football), something that not everyone has.


So. Those are my reasons. You're free to disagree. Just know that I don't think I'm better than anyone else.

It's a very insular thing. It's not because I have low-self esteem or need to be validated. I have more self-esteem than I probably should have by our culture's standards. It's superficial, it's stupid, and I get that. In fact, I'm active in at least one anti-ratings-comm community for the simple purpose to remind myself never to take it too seriously.

Futhermore, I know I'm going to hear an awful lot about the negative affect I/we/the comm has on people who are rejected from ratings comms. Just bear in mind that no one ever forces someone else to apply to a ratings comm. They do so because they want to be a part of it. Also, I have never been one to bash someone unneccesarily. I get told that I'm too nice because I try to think of something nice to say about each person I say no to. I'm not patting myself on the back, but I am stating truth.

That said, I figured it was time to let it out. I think the fact that 90% of my friendslist had no clue is a testament to the fact that I don't let it affect me.

But you all do have the right to know who's on your friendslist.

If you want to defriend me, it's your choice. People have differing opinions and some would rather just not deal with them. And that's fine. Just let me know.

I'll probably edit some part of this later. I admit that I'm writing this angry. I'm angry that Michael couldn't have just talked to me about it, and instead he made it a personal attack. I guess I expected more. But at any rate, here it is, laid out. And it's my truth, the way I'm feeling. Its my journal, so it's allowed.

Later.