Ten Day Meme, Day One

So, ten secrets. I feel like I've been blogging so long I don't really have secrets anymore. I don't tend to be an especially secretive person. So I guess this will be a mix of 'secrets' and maybe 'stuff I haven't articulated.'

1. I have a really hard time remembering peoples' names. I remember faces, and unless I've seen someone's name written down, it doesn't stick in my short term memory. It's not uncommon for me to have to meet someone more than once for me to remember their name. I will remember details about them or what we talked about, but names just poof right out of my brain.

2. I am a very impatient person. I'm impulsive. When I have an idea, I want to do it immediately. I like action, and have a hard time with anticipation.

3. Unpopular dance (costuming) opinion: I HATE those fluffy white pantaloon thingies. With the firey passion of a thousand burning suns. They make people look like Little Bo Peep. Who the hell wants to look like Little Bo Peep? It is the trend I wish would just die. (However, I do like the non-white variations of these tiered dance pants, but only under 25 yard skirts, as an alternative to pantaloons / salawar.)

4. I can't cook. Mostly because I don't really like to. I find it tedious and boring and am grateful I married a man who can cook.

5. I am really loving The Complete Guide to Not Giving a Fuck. It's interesting how I'm trying to merge living compassionately and mindfully with the doctrine of Not Giving A Fuck. Basically, it comes down to prioritizing what matters to me, and fuck the rest. Anonymous internet troll calls me names? Fuck their spineless asses. People hate that I care about my cats? Fuck 'em, they can fucking scroll. Suspect someone might be shittalking? Fuck 'em if they can't say things to my face. My people are the ones who matter. The people who hold me accountable, who build me up and make me stronger. Everything else is just a distraction.

6. I have found myself re-evaluating what the word 'friend' means. I am guilty of applying it far too liberally. I have noticed that I use it to mean 'acquaintance I admire' a lot, or 'person I used to be friends with but now rarely speak to.' I have been thinking about that word a lot more before I use it.

That said, I think I'm in the best friend situation I've been in in a long time. I still have my old friends-- My Ariel, my Anna, my Abby-- who I love. I have other friends who I don't get as much face time with but could call up if the sky was falling. But dance has had an unexpected side effect in my life: I am now friends with a group of women I love unabashedly, even if I don't always say it that way. Our hangouts leave me feeling uplifted. We don't backbite each other. I don't leave gatherings wondering what they're going to say behind my back. Hanging out with them has even reduced my own gossipy tendencies. (Um, with one notable exception.) They make me a better dancer and a better person and I lurve them and finally feel like I have a place.

7. It drives me nuts when people tl;dr to me, demonstrating lots and lots of obvious info I already know because I'm already discussing the topic at hand. Example-

Me: The sky is blue.
Hypothetical person: The sky is blue because molecules in the air scatter blue light from the sun more than they scatter red light. Bladdity blah blah hoopty doo five paragraphs blah.
Me: No shit, Sherlock. Feel better now?

My annoyance at this is probably part vanity-- why are you assuming I don't know this?-- and also part ingrained annoyance at people who feel like they always need to prove how smart they are. I get that it's an insecurity thing for them 95% of the time, but it seriously annoys the crap outta me. Like, if I'm wrong about something, by all means, please correct me! But please don't run on about facts that need not be expounded upon just to show me that you, too, have some basic knowledge about the topic.

8. I am re-evaluating my food. I don't know if I'll ever go vegetarian. Probably not. But I am giving serious thought to where my meat comes from. I am doing my best to cut out meats that are not free-range, and eating whatever organic I can afford. I don't eat a lot of meat, but when I do, I want to eat meat that was not horrendously mis-treated when it was alive. I think it matters.

9. I struggle with my body image every single day.

10. I am finally at peace with my 'what ifs,' and things I thought might be regrets actually turned out for the best in the end.


...also, marinatempest's husband, Steve, got some FANTASTIC pictures of the Transcendence foursome who performed at the MAC hafla yesterday. I think Flissy & Amy win the prize for most photogenic... a lot of their shots look so perfect they could have been posed. (ETA: after careful consideration, Amy wins the battle of the cuties, July edition. Here's why.) You can see the full album of his shots here. But here are a couple of my favorites:


Fading Arabic with Spins



Flissy & Me



Lyra & Amy



Amy & Flissy



Seriously, look how perfect.

I feel like our set went ok. I felt a little bit off during it... I didn't realize until afterwards that I was dealing with serious low blood sugar stemming from not having eaten since breakfast. While I was dancing I honestly felt like I was on a two second delay or something, and yet everything was moving faster than normal. I'm a dummy. I must eat next time. I reviewed a video of it earlier, and luckily it didn't seem bad. Or maybe the camera angle concealed a multitude of sins. It definitely caught when I had a mirror-image issue and turned the wrong way on the wraparound turn during dueling duets though, haha. I cannot tell my right from my left, sweartogod.

Loved the hafla, though. Highlights: the big smiles on Shems's students' faces, many of whom were performing for the first time. Also, Samira Shuruk is awesome. She understands her music so well and is so expressive without ever looking cheesy. I <3 her.