I love my cats.They would not make for delicious BBQ, right?
Because seriously, someone needs to remind me that today.
1:30 - *I go to bed. Olive gets her nighttime snack. The cat eats her body weight every day, I swear.*
1:40 - *Hear huge commotion in the hallway. Nox and Mim have strongarmed their way into the bathroom, shredded a roll of toilet paper for the first time, and are dragging it about the place.*
4:00: - Olive: Food nao? Me: No.
4:30: - Olive: FOOD NAO? Me: NO.
4:35: - Olive: I am going to walk on your head until you feed me. Me: You are going out of the bedroom, young lady. (Only with more swearing.)
5:00: - Kitty chorus: *scratches on the door* FOOOOOD NAO. WE KNOW YOU ARE IN THERE. Jason: Fuuuuuuuuck. *puts pillow over head*
(Repeat for a half hour)
5:30: Kitty chorus: *scratches on the door* FOOOOOD NAO. WE KNOW YOU ARE IN THERE. Nox: WOE. WOOOOOOOOOOE. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOE. I am wasting away. I have not eaten in HOURS. I MIGHT ACTUALLY DIE.
5:35: Me: MOTHERFUCKING FINE, JESUS GODDAMN CHRIST. *gets up to fix their breakfast, clean up the mounds of TP on the floor* *Nox & Mim fed in the kitchen* Me: Olive, 'cmon. Breakfast time. Olive: I don't want none of your stinking breakfast, lady. Me: *picks Olive up, deposits her in the bedroom where breakfast is served* Olive: OMG FOOD.
6:00: Olive: HEY. SLEEPING PERSON. PET ME. Me: No.
6:10: Olive: HEY. SLEEPING PERSON. PET ME. NOW. *lets out the crankiest meow ever* Me: You're going out again.
8:30: Jason: Going to work baby, love you. Me: THE NEXT ENTITY THAT WAKES ME IS GOING TO DIE A FIERY DEATH. I mean, I love you too, honey.
10:30: *I am writing this post. I hear a commotion in the bathroom. Nox has started in on a second roll of TP. The bathroom doorknob is broken. Of course.* Nox: I never knew how fun this was until I saw another cat do it on TV. Me: You would be tasty slathered in BBQ sauce.
1:30 - *I go to bed. Olive gets her nighttime snack. The cat eats her body weight every day, I swear.*
1:40 - *Hear huge commotion in the hallway. Nox and Mim have strongarmed their way into the bathroom, shredded a roll of toilet paper for the first time, and are dragging it about the place.*
4:00: - Olive: Food nao? Me: No.
4:30: - Olive: FOOD NAO? Me: NO.
4:35: - Olive: I am going to walk on your head until you feed me. Me: You are going out of the bedroom, young lady. (Only with more swearing.)
5:00: - Kitty chorus: *scratches on the door* FOOOOOD NAO. WE KNOW YOU ARE IN THERE. Jason: Fuuuuuuuuck. *puts pillow over head*
(Repeat for a half hour)
5:30: Kitty chorus: *scratches on the door* FOOOOOD NAO. WE KNOW YOU ARE IN THERE. Nox: WOE. WOOOOOOOOOOE. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOE. I am wasting away. I have not eaten in HOURS. I MIGHT ACTUALLY DIE.
5:35: Me: MOTHERFUCKING FINE, JESUS GODDAMN CHRIST. *gets up to fix their breakfast, clean up the mounds of TP on the floor* *Nox & Mim fed in the kitchen* Me: Olive, 'cmon. Breakfast time. Olive: I don't want none of your stinking breakfast, lady. Me: *picks Olive up, deposits her in the bedroom where breakfast is served* Olive: OMG FOOD.
6:00: Olive: HEY. SLEEPING PERSON. PET ME. Me: No.
6:10: Olive: HEY. SLEEPING PERSON. PET ME. NOW. *lets out the crankiest meow ever* Me: You're going out again.
8:30: Jason: Going to work baby, love you. Me: THE NEXT ENTITY THAT WAKES ME IS GOING TO DIE A FIERY DEATH. I mean, I love you too, honey.
10:30: *I am writing this post. I hear a commotion in the bathroom. Nox has started in on a second roll of TP. The bathroom doorknob is broken. Of course.* Nox: I never knew how fun this was until I saw another cat do it on TV. Me: You would be tasty slathered in BBQ sauce.