Wherein I share my unpopular opinions. A rant.
Meta-commentary on a recent kerfluffle: It really does take a special kind of hypocrite to come into a thread, deliberately insult people, and then refuse to look at the response her snarkiness and attempt to mischaracterize the state of play has incurred.
"Cowardly" is, in fact, a completely accurate way to describe this.
If you're going to be a condescending ass yourself, it's laughable that your worry is that someone might hypothetically be condescending back to you in a comment that you're too 'easily upset' to read. If you're so fucking 'easily upset,' I suggest you refrain from being an ass in public, genius. I hope the "lalalala I can't hear you" approach works out for you. Maybe you'll fucking put your big girl pants on before you wade into an adult discussion next time.
Some people's children, I swear to my various Gods.
This ties into one of my particular buttons, which is not specific to this kerfluffle, even though some of the hallmark buttons were pushed: It is a HUGE pet peeve of mine when someone gets so sure of the "type of person" asking them a question or engaging their commentary that they conflate that person with every person who's been an ass to them in the past.
No, no, I won't actually respond to what you've actually said. I'm just going to go on autopilot and be snarky. Because I am psychic! I apparently know what "type of person" you, specifically, are, based on maybe one or two comments that I may or may not have read and/or maybe read through my mystical glasses of Knee-Jerk-Tivity, which are awesome, by the way! My shitty assumptions about you totally justify disdain. I might even misquote you in order to mock you-- hell, I might even suggest you're saying something you clearly find really fucked up! But these bad-faith tactics are totally cool because I'm better and morally superior, or something. Neener neener and also snark.
I fucking hate that shit.*
Look, it's one thing to see derailing so often you can ID it in your sleep and say "stop, your comments are derailing for X reasons." It's also pretty okay to say "I'm being triggered by this because I've had a very similar discussion in the past that ended badly and this seems to be going down that same track." It's totally another asstastic thing to be all, "'Sup, I'm just gonna insult you outright then flounce off all superior-like."
On a related note, though not related to this particular kerfluffle, here's something else that's been on my mind for a few weeks. While I'm talking about controversial shit that makes me a bad feminist/ally...
Dude, the Tone Argument is not carte blanche to be an asshole. It's just not. It's one thing to say "the tone I am using does not negate the valid things I am saying." That is 100% true. People who say shit like "if you just weren't so angry/extreme about your feminism/anti-racism/[insert social justice cause], people would listen" are still Tone Argument using asshats.
HOWEVER. If you wanna pop into a serious conversation just for a hit and run snarky comment? You're being an assface. Period. Your comment adds nothing to the conversation and serves no purpose other than to derail the topic with more drama. Good job!
If you continue to be hostile to someone who is not being hostile to you, and/or who is confused and asking questions specifically to understand your view better**, you're being an assface, period.
To these people, who will very likely use the "but you stepped on my foot!" line to justify their asshole-being, I have this to say: If you don't want your foot stepped on, don't fucking wear your clown shoes in public.
RAWR.
*Were it not for the few epileptics who read this journal, that sentence would be bright red and goddamn blinking.
**This actually did happen in a kerfluffle I saw about three weeks ago or so. It was a total clusterfuck wherein one person unknowingly used an incorrect and outdated term for a trans person, and got dogpiled with "dude, it is not okay to use that term. The trans community finds that term offensive." Which is okay, that happens and is sometimes a part of "failing" and "failing better"-- both important steps of learning to be a better ally.
However, the commenter then offered a total apology and asked what the correct term to use would be, so that she could use it next time. One person attacked her over and over and over again, using terms like "bigot" and "transphobe" until even other trans people had to be like "R U SERIOUS?"
At which point, Senior Assface replied-- you guessed it!-- "But she stepped on my foot!" Look, asshat. If someone accidentally steps on your foot, the proper response is not to punch them in the face. End of rant.
"Cowardly" is, in fact, a completely accurate way to describe this.
If you're going to be a condescending ass yourself, it's laughable that your worry is that someone might hypothetically be condescending back to you in a comment that you're too 'easily upset' to read. If you're so fucking 'easily upset,' I suggest you refrain from being an ass in public, genius. I hope the "lalalala I can't hear you" approach works out for you. Maybe you'll fucking put your big girl pants on before you wade into an adult discussion next time.
Some people's children, I swear to my various Gods.
This ties into one of my particular buttons, which is not specific to this kerfluffle, even though some of the hallmark buttons were pushed: It is a HUGE pet peeve of mine when someone gets so sure of the "type of person" asking them a question or engaging their commentary that they conflate that person with every person who's been an ass to them in the past.
No, no, I won't actually respond to what you've actually said. I'm just going to go on autopilot and be snarky. Because I am psychic! I apparently know what "type of person" you, specifically, are, based on maybe one or two comments that I may or may not have read and/or maybe read through my mystical glasses of Knee-Jerk-Tivity, which are awesome, by the way! My shitty assumptions about you totally justify disdain. I might even misquote you in order to mock you-- hell, I might even suggest you're saying something you clearly find really fucked up! But these bad-faith tactics are totally cool because I'm better and morally superior, or something. Neener neener and also snark.
I fucking hate that shit.*
Look, it's one thing to see derailing so often you can ID it in your sleep and say "stop, your comments are derailing for X reasons." It's also pretty okay to say "I'm being triggered by this because I've had a very similar discussion in the past that ended badly and this seems to be going down that same track." It's totally another asstastic thing to be all, "'Sup, I'm just gonna insult you outright then flounce off all superior-like."
On a related note, though not related to this particular kerfluffle, here's something else that's been on my mind for a few weeks. While I'm talking about controversial shit that makes me a bad feminist/ally...
Dude, the Tone Argument is not carte blanche to be an asshole. It's just not. It's one thing to say "the tone I am using does not negate the valid things I am saying." That is 100% true. People who say shit like "if you just weren't so angry/extreme about your feminism/anti-racism/[insert social justice cause], people would listen" are still Tone Argument using asshats.
HOWEVER. If you wanna pop into a serious conversation just for a hit and run snarky comment? You're being an assface. Period. Your comment adds nothing to the conversation and serves no purpose other than to derail the topic with more drama. Good job!
If you continue to be hostile to someone who is not being hostile to you, and/or who is confused and asking questions specifically to understand your view better**, you're being an assface, period.
To these people, who will very likely use the "but you stepped on my foot!" line to justify their asshole-being, I have this to say: If you don't want your foot stepped on, don't fucking wear your clown shoes in public.
RAWR.
*Were it not for the few epileptics who read this journal, that sentence would be bright red and goddamn blinking.
**This actually did happen in a kerfluffle I saw about three weeks ago or so. It was a total clusterfuck wherein one person unknowingly used an incorrect and outdated term for a trans person, and got dogpiled with "dude, it is not okay to use that term. The trans community finds that term offensive." Which is okay, that happens and is sometimes a part of "failing" and "failing better"-- both important steps of learning to be a better ally.
However, the commenter then offered a total apology and asked what the correct term to use would be, so that she could use it next time. One person attacked her over and over and over again, using terms like "bigot" and "transphobe" until even other trans people had to be like "R U SERIOUS?"
At which point, Senior Assface replied-- you guessed it!-- "But she stepped on my foot!" Look, asshat. If someone accidentally steps on your foot, the proper response is not to punch them in the face. End of rant.