Sienata's Dreams

Helllooooo.......

2020-12-10T02:26:18Z

Is anyone still out there??

Is anyone still reading BBM Fic???

My life has kinda gone off the rails, and I'm thinking about J&E a lot. They're a happy place.

How 'bout y'all??

New fic ready to read at Goodreads

2015-09-24T19:20:45Z

I wish i could say i've finished something here, but that's just not the case. Instead, i have non-fanfic, OC story that's just now come available on Goodreads in case anyone would like to check it out. You have to join the M/M Romance group to access it, but that's not hard. They may take a day or two to approve your membership request - depends on timing i think. Anyway, it's availabe under the Don't Read in the Closet banner; it's a Love is an Open Road story. Here's the link to the m/m romance group.

https://www.goodreads.com/group/show/20149-m-m-romance

The way the whole thing works is, readers post written prompts along with a picture, and writers grab a prompt and get to work. It took me way longer than the alotted time, but they were generous with deadlines and extremely professional with the editing process. I had some good help from Annabirmingham and Teri - TMN1966 and Nancy (morrobay1990) early on during the beta stages. Overall, it was a very good experience for me. My prompt's picture was two guys hugging, but you couldn't really see their faces. I liked that because i was able to find my own inspiration pics with guys who spoke to me. Below are the original prompt, my story blurb, and my inspiration pics.

PHOTO DESCRIPTION:
Two men, short dark hair, no tattoos, shown from the waist up only. They appear to be naked and are clasped in a tight embrace. No faces are shown.

STORY LETTER:
Dear Author,

I’ve been hurt badly. In my first month away from home, enjoying newfound independence on my college campus, I was brutally raped by a stranger. I had barely begun my homosexual exploration, kissing and some hand jobs, with a few men who were also experimenting, when it happened 7 years ago. I have not been able to enjoy sexual relations with another man ever since. It has affected every one of my romantic relationships and I am sick and tired of being alone and afraid. I have decided to ask my best friend, a man I first met in junior high and trust with every part of my being, to help me overcome my fear of intimacy and sex. Yes, he is straight, but his love for me is strong and he suffers along with me when my fears arise. My hope is that he can help me, taking baby steps, enjoy the wonders of sex by touching me and loving me. I know that it will hurt when our intimate time together is over, but I’m not going to think about that right now. I need the overwhelming dread and fear of other men stricken from my mind before I can worry about anything else.

GFY, hurt/healing/comfort, no cheating, emotional sex as hot as fire and a HEA. I’d like to see these MCs well matched and versatile in the bedroom. I leave everything else up to up, my dearest author

Sincerely,

Gigi

STORY INFO:
Love You More, by Sienna Bishop
Genre: contemporary
Tags: friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, first time, gay for you, college, military
Content Warnings: non-explicit rape description after the fact
Word Count: 51,371

Author’s Note
Gigi’s lovely prompt called for Deacon to tell this story, but he wasn’t feeling talkative and Tucker was, so that’s how it ended up. Also, because Tucker isn’t exactly a get-to-the-point kind of guy, the story starts with the beginning of their friendship, several years before the action in the prompt. I tweaked the timeline a bit to fit better with their lives. I hope you enjoy their story.

Acknowledgements
I’d like to offer a big thanks to my betas, Goodreads author Anna Birmingham and new member Teri, both friends from my former life as a fanfic addict. They were wonderful at keeping me on track and focused when I really wanted to throw my laptop under a bus. Also, mega thanks to Jul and Debbie for such amazing editing work. They blew me away with their professionalism and attention to detail. Big hands of applause and air kisses to all my wonderful helpers!!

The download is now available at M/M Romance Group

my inspiration pics. (they're not all the same guys, but they are similar and it worked for me.)

Does Anyone Have Time to Beta a Story for Me???

2015-04-22T12:37:35Z

I'm trying to get my writing brain working again and decided maybe doing something with original characters would work, since my fandom inspiration has fizzled out. There was a writing challenge going on at Goodreads with Prompts and Pictures and i picked one that really called to me. The deadline is April 30, (EIGHT DAYS AWAY) and i'm still grinding away on this story that is only vaguely like what the prompter requested. GRRRRRRRR

But anyway, i'm determined to turn in something and the Goodreads People require that your story be beta'd, so i was wondering if anyone out there has time to read something for me. I'm currently sitting at about 21K words and will probably have another 10K. At this point, it's too late for me to do anything if the story is boring or stupid, but i could fix typos or plot issues or even cut out something that's too long and rambly if it was brought to my attention.

So i'm not looking for anything too strict or stingent, but just a good read-through to let me know if there is anything glaringly amiss. Annabirmingham wrote for the challenge last year and she offered to beta for me this year, but it's getting down to the wire and she's not writing this year because she's too busy, so she may or may not have time to read. I'm hoping someone out there will have some free time and be able to do it without a major inconvenience.

Here's the prompt, so you'll know what you're getting into. One of the characters gets raped. According to the prompt, i should've written the story from that character's (Deacon's) POV, but for some reason i couldn't, so it's from the other character's(Tucker's) POV instead.

Prompt:

Dear Author,

I’ve been hurt badly. In my first month away from home, enjoying new found independence on my collage campus, I was brutally raped by a stranger. I had barely begun my homosexual exploration, kissing and some hand jobs, with a few men who were also experimenting, when it happened 7 years ago. I have not been able to enjoy sexual relations with another man ever since. It has affected every one of my romantic relationships and I am sick and tired of being alone and afraid. I have decided to ask my best friend, a man I first met in junior high and trust with ever part of my being, to help me overcome my fear of intimacy and sex. Yes, he is straight, but his love for me is strong and he suffers along with me when my fears arise. My hope is that he can help me, taking baby steps, enjoy the wonders of sex by touching me and loving me. I know that it will hurt when our intimate time together is over, but I’m not going to think about that right now. I need the overwhelming dread and fear of other men stricken from my mind before I can worry about anything else.

GFY, hurt/healing/comfort, no cheating, emotional sex as hot as fire and a HEA. I’d like to see these MCs well matched and versatile in the bedroom. I leave everything else up to up, my dearest author.

Sincerely,

Gigi

Me again: if anyone is available to read this for me, please comment here or message me with your email address and i'll send it to you asap. Like I said,because of time constraints I can't rework the story much, but i'd appreciate any typos or ideas for small changes that might make it better.

Thanks. S!

Freier Fall | Marc & Kay - Take me to Church

2015-04-03T02:15:26Z

love this song... this works!

fifty shades of heterosexual messing around... thoughts anyone???

2015-02-15T02:39:09Z

Mr. Grey will swat you now, Miss Steele.... oh wait, never mind...

so i never thought i'd read the wildly popular Fifty Shades of Grey series, but i saw the movie trailer and heard the song and said, what the heck, let me check it out, and i got on my kindle at 2 a.m. and the library accidentally had a copy available to check out (checking out ebooks on kindle is the greatest thing evah!!!) and so i got it and got sucked in pretty handily. i'm halfway thru Part 2 and i'm still enjoying it, but honestly, for a book that's supposed to be on the edge of everything wild and sexual and dark and dirty and wtfe, i'm really underwhelmed with the sex. it's good, don't get me wrong, and i'm not saying that i don't like how the characters are evolving, altho, imho, they are seriously plateauing at the moment. and i guess reading slash for the last 9 years has made me immune to anything that the average housewife would consider "out-there". mainly, i guess i'm kinda disappointed in the lack of bdsm, considering it's supposed to be a bdsm series.

anyway, i'm flipping down to Florida in a few days and me and Karla are gonna see the movie and the reviews are horrific and i'm just wondering what anyone here thinks about it, assuming anyone has seen it. i like the guy - Jamie Doornan - based on what i've seen in the trailers. i haven't seen him in anything else. i wonder what kind of Mr. Grey JBG would've been. i guess that's not the sort of role he'd be interested in at all, but me personally, i would've liked it! (i think)

in other news, i'm retired now, and very excited to be free of the daily grind at last. i ended my career on January 29th, my 50th birthday, and February has been a busy busy month. March is shaping up to be busy too, but i do hope to get back into the writing game a bit once things settle down. i'm not sure what the future holds for me longterm, but writing was fun and if i can still enjoy it, i'd like to keep at it.

i hope 2015 is treating y'all well. big hugs.
say what you think about Fifty. :)

love the song!

http://youtu.be/Jl8fV1jUQPs

Brokeback Mountain Got Me Good

2014-10-14T02:28:11Z

I'm all over the place in real life but these guys are still it for me. tonight i'm rewatching the movie with fresh eyes and i'm going to post some comments on things that make me go hmmm..... here's the first one...

having seen the whole movie and gotten a feel for how they are going to interact, etc, in the movie, what the heck is jack doing in this scene? he is totally working the predator moves here 100% and ennis even seems to feel them and recoil. jack throttles back after that, but seriously, is this realistic? when i watched this scene, i was like, Whoa!! what's fixing to happen? it didn't jibe with the rest of Jack's overtures with Ennis.

i'm not bashing our movie at all, 'cuz i loved it and still do as much as anybody, but i'm interested in getting feedback among friends about different scenes and issues. i'm just curious if anyone else has any lingering thoughts and questions about the movie, nine years later.

Free Fall: The Key to Everything

2014-09-24T00:59:46Z

I loved the movie Free Fall. I watched it several times this past summer and the vids are awesome!! morrobay1990 turned me on to it and has written a wonderful story called Breathe Evenly, which follows up where the movie left off. (She's also posted several vids on her LJ if you want to watch some.)

Inspired by her, I wrote this small piece about Kay giving Marc the key to his apartment and how they both feel about that. It was supposed to be about what happened the first time Marc visited, but it turned out to be more of an emotional exploration than a sensual one. Le sigh… Anyway, here’s the snippet from Nancy’s story that got me started, and then my little bit follows. If you haven’t seen the movie, this won’t make even a little bit of sense. L

“He almost slept through the whole night...this time the dream was of the time Marc, a few days after Kai had given him a key, had shown up at Kai’s apartment unexpectedly, and late – after midnight...came in so quiet he didn’t even hear him...but then Kai felt the covers being pulled back...felt Marc get in bed...smelled the soap he used...felt his hand on him...then his mouth...

And after...it had been the first time Marc had stayed the night, the first time Kai started to realize he was falling in love...he had woken early and watched Marc sleep, thinking of all the problems that could come up, but helpless to hold back his feelings...

For Kai, things were different after that...but for Marc, things remained the same.” Breathe Evenly, Chapter Two, by Morrobay1990

The Key to Everything

It was warm that day, late-afternoon sunshine warming skin that was already flushed with a different kind of heat. Marc was happy, sated, living in the moment. He wasn’t thinking about Bettina or the baby or work- the future was nothing but a blur at the edge of his mind. If anything, he was still basking in the sense memory of Kay’s body and the hour they’d just spent in his bed. It was stolen time and later he’d have to make up a lie to explain it away. He might even feel guilty about it then, faced with his pregnant girlfriend, but not now when he could still taste Kay on his tongue and his body still hummed with the remnants of pleasure. Now all he cared about was these last few minutes before he had to leave, a cigarette with Kay, maybe plans for the next time they could be together.

He wanted it again. At first he’d fought it, hated the way Kay made him feel, but Kay hadn’t let go, had gone so far as to transfer to his unit, and seeing him every day, working close with him, well, Marc couldn’t hold out forever. Maybe he was weak- definitely he was weak. Kay gave him something he’d never had before, made him feel good in a way he’d never even known was possible, and how was he supposed to walk away from that? If he was strong, he’d find a way- Bettina and the baby should be his main focus now, along with his career. He was too old to still be thinking with his dick like a silly teenager, but he was doing it anyway because he was weak and he wanted to feel the way only Kay could make him feel more than he wanted anything else.

It would pass, this thing with Kay. That was the light at the end of the tunnel for Marc, the knowledge that it would pass, probably soon, and then he’d be able to go back to how he was before, in love with Bettina, a good father to his son, a dedicated policeman, satisfied with his lot in life. They just needed to do it a few more times and then it would start to get old, just like everything else always did. Kay might be pissed at first, but he wasn’t stupid - he knew that with the baby on the way, Marc’s life was already set and that nothing between them could last.

But realistically, Kay probably didn’t want it to last anyway. It wasn’t as if he was out at work, and he didn’t seem like the settling-down type to Marc. He was more into the club scene, partying every night, smoking weed like it was going out of style, and who knew what else… Marc was way too stale for that lifestyle. Kay’d be bored with him in no time if they hooked up for real.

Not that that was going to happen, not that Marc was even remotely thinking about it. It wasn’t, he wasn’t, Kay wasn’t. What they were doing was just a thing and it would die on its own soon enough- Marc just wanted to enjoy the ride till it was over without overthinking it to death.

That afternoon, his thoughts were already moving towards next time, eyes running over Kay, wondering if maybe they had enough time and energy to take it back to bed once more but he knew they didn’t - Bettina was probably already wondering where he was. He needed to say goodbye but as he stepped out into the sunshine, he realized that he didn’t want to leave. In his version of a perfect world, he’d hang out with Kay all afternoon, drink a few beers, put on a C.D. and cook out on the balcony while the sun went down behind the city.

He was thinking on all those things as he joined Kay on the balcony - Kay stretched out on the bed beneath him, so willing, so giving, and then later, steaks on the grill, ice cold beers, catching a game on T.V. - Marc pulling on his shirt to go even though it was the last thing he wanted to do. Kay was propped against the half-wall, sun gleaming on his pale skin, highlighting a faint bruise where Marc had bitten down a little too hard. He remembered the way Kay’s flesh had felt in his teeth, the give of it, Kay’s gasp, and his dick pulsed with the memory but there was nothing he could do.

Kay smiled at him and Marc smiled back, unsettled by his own thoughts and - as always - unsure what to say. He never had the right words, never had, not with his parents, never with women, so why should things be different with Kay? They weren’t.

“Ever thought of just leaving it all behind? Taking off and starting over?” Kay asked casually, his words catching Marc completely off guard. Marc had been expecting a jibe about coming too fast again - Kay turned his stamina to shit - or maybe even something about work, but he hadn’t been ready for anything like that, and instead of taking time to think he just blundered forward blindly like his usual bull in a china shop.

“No. Not really.”

He smiled to soften his words but that didn’t help. It was the wrong answer - that much was clearly written on Kay’s face for a few short seconds before he blinked it all away. Marc wasn’t a good liar - he hated doing it with Bettina and he didn’t even want to start with Kay, but obviously telling the truth wasn’t any good either. Kay hadn’t been ready for him to say no, had expected to hear something different, and maybe after what they’d just done, Marc could understand that. They weren’t just fucking for the sake of getting off anymore. Even he could see that.

But they weren’t in love either, and that was never going to be an option for them. Marc’s life was already set - he was committed to Bettina and the baby and that wasn’t going to change. And even if he did dream of something different, his dreams wouldn’t involve Kay. They couldn’t. He wasn’t gay – maybe this wasn’t just sex anymore, but wanting to spend the afternoon wasn’t the same as wanting to make a life with another man, no matter how fantastic the fucking was. Running away and starting over, leaving behind his responsibilities and his family? No way! Yes, he was weak, but not that weak. Kay was a distraction, for sure, but nothing more. Marc would come out the other side of this the same as before. He would.

Then Kay opened his hand and they both looked down to see what he held: one key on a cheap plastic tab, and Marc’s stomach rolled because he knew what that meant… It meant more and freedom and anytime-you-want. It was temptation like an apple from The Tree, and like Adam in the garden before him, everything else faded away and Marc was powerless to say no.

*****

He would stash the key in the inside pocket of his coat. Bettina would never see it there, but if she did happen to find it, he would just tell her it was the key to his room at the barracks. He came up with that story on the way home from Kay’s, the key burning hot against his thigh where he’d stuffed it in the front pocket of his jeans.

Having it didn’t mean he had to use it, he reminded himself. He shouldn’t have even taken it, but he'd been caught off guard yet again and he’d already disappointed Kay once – he didn’t want to do it again. Taking it had put a smile back on his face and that had mattered most in the moment.

But that didn’t mean he ever had to use it. He could just keep it for a while, and in a few weeks, once things had started to cool off between them, he could offer it back. Or maybe Kay would ask for it back. He could easily meet someone else. Unlike Marc, Kay really was a free agent and he wasn’t shy about going for what he wanted. Marc knew he was boring compared to what Kay was used to. Kay would no doubt tire of him soon enough and want his key back so he could give it to another man, one who could give him what he wanted.

Marc didn’t let his mind linger over that inevitable eventuality - that this thing between him and Kay would end and Kay would find someone else. It had to happen that way - there was no other choice, whether he liked it or not. Till then, though, even if he didn’t use his key, he planned to make the most of his opportunities. The sex was hot as hell and he couldn’t imagine anything like this ever coming his way again.

Of course it wouldn’t. He wasn’t gay and guys didn’t just randomly hit on him, other than Kay. Even if another guy did come on to him, Marc would shut him down cold. He still wasn’t sure how Kay managed to break through his defenses. His only explanation was that it was the lure of dirty, forbidden sex just as things were starting to get awkward with Bettina, what with the baby right there between them and his parents on the other side of the wall. It was too much for Marc – too many people in his bed, his future closing in on him like a prison door – and a fling with Kay had been a way to break free from all of that.

That’s all it was – one last walk on the wild side before the baby came and changed everything forever. It wasn’t anything like the last breath of freedom that Marc would’ve imagined for himself but it was working all the same and he wasn’t going to beat himself up over it. Soon enough it would all be over and life would go back to normal with no one the wiser, but till then, he planned to ride the wave for all it was worth.

*****

Kay knew not to expect anything. He wasn’t dumb and this wasn’t his first time with a guy who was neither gay nor free. He knew the score. Last time, though, the guy didn’t matter so much, was just somebody to fuck at the end of a bad day when the drugs and the club noise weren’t quite enough to blot out the emptiness of his life. Marc wasn’t supposed to happen. He sure wasn’t supposed to matter.

But maybe Kay was dumb after all, because he never seemed to pick the right guys or the right jobs or the right anything, and he ended up fucking up more often than not because of it. And giving Marc the key to his apartment was basically giving him carte blanche to fuck him over, and Kay wasn’t sure he could handle that when it happened. Not from Marc. He was already in over his head and yeah, that made him definitely dumb, but it was too late to undo what had already happened. He was falling for Marc and Marc was doing just enough things right to make him hope he had a chance even though the thinking part of his brain was shouting, “No! No! No!”

Unfortunately for him, he wasn’t listening up there; he was listening with his heart and his dick and they were both fully on board and ready to take a chance on getting hurt because in the meantime they were getting what they wanted and that was all they really cared about. The future was miles away; the moment at hand was all that mattered to them. The facts that Marc was ultimately committed to his girlfriend and his baby, and that they worked with a squad of homophobes who would never give them a minute’s peace if they found out about them, were all just annoying white noise compared to how every time they got together, Marc kissed him like he was starving for it, and then there was the harsh, guttural cry Marc could never quite swallow when Kay made him come. Those were the things that made Kay stupid, made him secretly hope for impossible things, and - in a moment of afterglow weakness - made him give Marc the key to his apartment.

*****

Kay was beginning to wonder if Marc was going to ever use the key. Almost a week had gone by and he’d never once mentioned it. They’d gotten together once after work, beers with a few of the guys, then Marc had followed him home, but he’d left soon after and Kay had gone to sleep alone and lonely. It wasn’t what Kay wanted but it was better than nothing and every time they were together, Kay imagined that he felt their bond growing stronger. The next day at work, though, when Marc had looked at him with his blank, nothing face, Kay wondered if he was making it all up. Maybe Marc was just fucking him because he could, like the football captain back in school. Kay had realized early on that being a bottom meant guys would try to take advantage. He’d made it a point not to let that happen and usually Kay was good at running the show, but Marc had slipped in under his guard and Kay wasn’t taking care of himself like he usually did.

It was a Wednesday and Kay’d gotten off early. He’d gone for a run, thought about going out but decided to give his body a break. Wednesday wasn’t a great night to go out anyway, and even though Marc was still fucking Bettina, Kay wasn’t interested in hooking up with anyone else. That right there should’ve been reason enough to make him go out anyway, but he didn’t. He went to the market and picked up a few things, then went home and made dinner. His cooking skills weren’t great, but over the years he’d learned enough to survive, and staying home felt good for a change. He took his food into the living room and watched a movie, then flicked through the channels, watching bits and pieces of sports clips and talk shows till his eyes crossed. He smoked and drank till he was buzzed enough to sleep, dropped his dishes in the sink and his clothes on the floor, then crawled into bed. The sheets were cool and he left the door to the balcony open so the air was fresh and crisp as he drifted off to sleep, his lullaby the distant sounds of the city at night, car engines and sirens and the odd slamming door.

*****

He shouldn’t go. He should go home to Bettina, Marc knew it, but Kay’s key was hot in his pocket, burning like a brand sizzling into him to the point where when he undressed he was surprised not to see the shape of it emblazoned on his skin. He’d had the key for days and his resistance was all used up, so towards the end of his evening shift on Wednesday he called Bettina and told her that he had to work over, adding that if it ran too long, he might end up crashing there for the night. It was a lie backed by a history of truth so she didn’t question him, just murmured sympathetic noises that used to be what he wanted to hear and now made him feel like a criminal. He was a terrible person, way too old to be a slave to his dick, and neither Bettina nor Kay deserved what he was doing to them. But knowing that truth did nothing to change the facts of his situation. He wanted what he wanted and that was that.

The city was quiet, all the respectable people already in for the night, and he cruised down the empty streets unseen, horny and guilty and defiant. He found a place down the block from Kay’s apartment and parked, locked the VW and jogged to the building. By the time the elevator doors closed in front of him he was jittery, almost bouncing in the car as it rose ponderously to Kay’s floor. As he stepped out into the hallway, he swiped his palms on his jeans, then reached into his pocket and pulled out the key, fingers brushing close to his dick which was already awake and humming, echoing every nervous beat of his heart.

At the rate he was going, he’d be fully hard before he even got inside, and he could imagine Kay’s satisfied smirk when he saw how needy Marc was for him. It made Marc feel vulnerable in a way that wanting Bettina never had, and although he wasn’t usually so insightful, it didn’t take a genius to realize the reason why. If he and Bettina ever split up, another girl would come along to take her place, but when this thing with Kay ended, there wouldn’t be anyone else to take his place.

Marc swallowed hard on that knowledge, his excitement edged with a bitter taint as he closed the door quietly behind him and pocketed his key. Walking in alone that first time was hard. Walking away alone the last time was going to be hell.

Free Fall, Germany's answer to Brokeback Mountain

2014-05-28T13:58:41Z

Free Fall: Vid and Trailer beneath the cut

Morrobay1990 posted this video on her LJ a few weeks ago and i saw it but didn't click. I finally caved in and clicked a few days ago and i've reclicked oh... about 50 times since then!!! I absolutely adore the song Addicted to Love by Robert Palmer, and so it really blew my mind how much i loved this version too. And the video is... wow!! I bought the movie on Amazon and watched it on my laptop monday night. It's very good. The actors are quiet gorgeous. Morrobay and i have determined that Max Riemelt is "walking sex."

Free Fall (Freier Fall) is a German movie and uses subtitles which worked just fine for me. It's not a Happy Ever After love story at all, but it's not nearly as final as BBM either. Marc (Hanno) and Kay (Max's character, pronounced Kai) are roommates at the police academy and strike up a bit of a relationship. Marc is resistant and when training is done he goes back home to his girlfriend and tries to put it all behind him. Kay isn't ready to let go, though, and once he shows up on Marc's squad, Marc's helpless to resist him. Unfortunately, real life has a hold on Marc that he can't shake and Kay can only try so hard before he has to start thinking about himself.

I really enjoyed the movie and the love scenes are so well done and plentiful enough that you feel like you've gotten a real treat without venturing into over-the-top porn at all. And this movie seems to be Merkin Free. =D

Enjoy the video! Please feel free to comment here with your thoughts if you watch it or the movie. Morrobay and I are enjoying talking about it. And i must say, thank you Morrobay for turning me onto this awesome film!

Feels Like Forever, Part Three, Take Two

2014-04-23T05:16:50Z

Ten

They kissed for a while, even after both of them had gone soft and Ennis’s come was getting dry and sticky where it had spurted on Jack’s belly. Jack wasn’t sure what was supposed to happen next. He’d never gotten this far with a girl before, and even though everything about being with Ennis was different from being with a girl, maybe the after part was supposed to be the same. But since he didn’t know about that with a girl, he sure didn’t know how to improvise with a boy. Maybe they could just kiss till they passed out or something. But that would just be putting off the awkwardness till morning.

Finally Ennis quit kissing him, but instead of getting up, he just made himself comfortable, like Jack was his own personal couch. Jack liked that, except for how his pants were down around his knees and he really wanted to be laying down too instead of propped up against the end of the couch getting a neck cramp. He squirmed around for a minute and Ennis must’ve finally gotten the message because he raised up and said, “You wanna go get in bed? There’s twin beds in the room I sleep in, but we can push them together if you want to.”

Ennis looked carefully hopeful and Jack breathed a huge sigh of relief. “Yeah, that’d be awesome.”

Ennis nodded. “Ok, cool.” He peeled himself off Jack and stood up, making no secret of the fact that he was checking him out while he zipped up his own pants. Jack blushed, embarrassed but thrilled that Ennis wasn’t running and hiding from what they’d just done. Just the opposite, actually, considering his offer to push the beds together.

Ennis reached a hand out and helped Jack up, then gathered up their glasses and the uneaten chips while Jack got his pants back in place. Once he was ready, they stumbled into the house, sleepy and maybe a little bit tipsy. Ennis dumped their stuff in the kitchen, shut off the lights and locked the front door, then led Jack through the darkness towards the bedrooms.

“The bathroom’s here,” he said, stopping to flip on the light on a room off the hallway. “There’s about a million toothbrushes in the cabinet. Help yourself. My aunt works in a dentist’s office, so she’s pretty anal about everybody brushing their teeth.”

“Ok, thanks,” Jack said. He took a leak, then brushed his teeth and washed his hands and his face. He combed his wet fingers through his hair, making it stand up kind of crazy on his head, but that wasn’t that far off from his usual bedhead style, and Ennis probably didn’t care anyway, so he left it.

Ennis took his place in the bathroom when Jack came out, and Jack went through to the bedroom. The beds were pushed together just like Ennis had promised, and there was even a quilt lying on top of the mattresses so they wouldn’t fall in the crack. Jack could hardly believe his night was ending up like this, when only that morning he’d been freaking out about what he was going to do if Lindsey tried to turn their friend date into a real one. Now he was about to get to sleep with the boy of his secret dreams.

Jack stepped up to the edge of the bed and dropped his pants again, feeling unsure and a little nervous even though this was what he wanted. He’d never slept with anyone before, though, at least not like this, and he couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit anxious. Not anxious like when he was four and his dad had to go get him in the middle of the night from his friend Brian’s house, but just butterflies-in-his-stomach jittery. This was totally new. Ennis was his lover… kinda. They hadn’t gone all the way yet and he wasn’t in any hurry to do that deed for a while, but they hadn’t just gotten drunk and hooked up either.

And they were about to get in bed together, and even if they didn’t do that, which they were definitely not going to do any time soon, there was still plenty of other stuff they could do to get off. Most anything would be good, actually, because anything with Ennis would be a thousand times better than anything by himself, which is what he’d be back to doing tomorrow. So hopefully Ennis would want to do more stuff too. Just thinking about it had Jack’s dick coming back to life in his boxer briefs and he scurried under the covers before Ennis could get back and find him hanging out by himself popping wood, which might seem a little bit creepy.

Sure enough, just as Jack got settled under the covers, he heard the water cut off and the bathroom door open. Ennis appeared in the doorway seconds later, looking vaguely uncertain but like he was trying to be cool and act like nothing unusual was going on. Jack smiled and tried to act cool too and not look like a blushing bride on her wedding night, which is kinda how he felt. Ennis smiled back, then clicked off the light and Jack was glad for the darkness because that way he didn’t have to worry about looking like a tool. Now if he could just not act like one, that’d be great.

He listened to Ennis rustle around, kicking off his boots and jeans and other clothes and Jack’s dick thrummed happily, oblivious to the awkwardness, plumped up with the knowledge that it’s new best friend was about to crawl in bed. Jack tried to stifle it’s enthusiasm before it completely took over his brain and made him stupid, and slid down till his head was on the pillow and he at least appeared to be ready for sleep. If Ennis made the move to get busy again, he’d be all for it, but he didn’t want to seem over-eager his first night out.

Of course, if Ennis was in the same situation as him, it would be impossible to be over-eager, but Jack didn’t really know what position Ennis was in. The position Ennis had been in earlier on the couch made Jack wonder if Ennis had other sources for sex besides just him. After all, asking Jack to keep his secret didn’t necessarily mean no one else knew. Maybe he had a boyfriend back in Atlanta that he’d had to break up with when his family moved. Or that he just didn’t get to see that often.

Jack thought about that for a minute, realized right away that if Ennis was still involved with another guy, he was going to be jealous. He didn’t want to be, knew that one night with Ennis didn’t give him dibs, but this wasn’t just an out-of-the-blue hook-up. He’d been liking Ennis for months. Before this went any further, he needed to know what he was up against.

Ennis finally got settled next to him after fidgeting with the covers and his pillow and God only knew what else. It took so long for him to get still that it made Jack wonder if he was having second thoughts.

“You ok?” Jack asked tentatively, fingers crossed that they weren’t about to be over before they even got one night behind them.

“Sure,” Ennis said, his voice quiet in the darkness. “You?”

“Yeah.” Jack fiddled with the covers for a minute, then turned on his side. It was dark in their room but the moon was bright outside and his eyes were starting to adjust. Ennis turned on his side too and suddenly they were closer and Jack liked that a lot better. It felt friendlier. “You sleep out here a lot?”

“Sometimes. My dad travels a lot with his job, and mom goes with him sometimes, so if nobody’s home it’s cool to stay there, but when they’re home, if I wanna be by myself I come out here.”

“They don’t care? My dad wants to know where I am and what I’m doing every minute.”

“Well, if I was going someplace else, they might care, but since they know I’m here and Uncle Walker don’t care, they’re ok with it. Me and Dad got in a lot of fights when we had to move here. I had to leave before baseball was over, and I dunno… since then we just kinda do better when we’re not jammed up in the same house a whole lotta the time.”

“Gotcha.” That was all good-to-know information, but it didn’t get him any closer to his real question, which was, Does he have competition? Jack stewed about it for about half a minute, then said. “So, were you just mad about leaving baseball, or did you have a boyfriend you had to leave too?”

Ennis bugged his eyes at him. “Jack, seriously, man, you’re the only other person on the planet who knows I like dudes. There was nobody I trusted enough to tell back in Atlanta.” He picked at the quilt, his hand moving nervously between them. Jack slid his hand out from under the covers to play too, hoping maybe if their fingers touched accidentally, it would start some other parts to touching too.

“For real? You’ve never done anything like this before?”

“Fuck no! I’ll be lucky if my dad ever speaks to me again once he finds out, even if that doesn’t happen till after I’m twenty-one. No way I was gonna chance doing anything with anybody back there, while I still had to live with him.”

“How come you decided to trust me?” Ennis’s words made Jack brave and he deliberately eased one hand over into Ennis’s territory and up onto his side.

“I dunno. I just liked you a lot this summer, like really a lot, and I liked the way I felt when I was around you. I guess I just decided to trust my instincts.” He smiled shyly and Jack felt shivery on the inside.

“I liked you a lot this summer too. I wanted us to keep being friends but I figured I was too boring.”

Ennis grinned. “I haven’t been bored at all tonight. Have you?”

“Uhhh… no!” Jack said. “Actually, tonight’s been pretty fucking awesome.” Jack rubbed Ennis’s side some more, let his hand glide down to Ennis’s hip. “That’s how come I asked you about a boyfriend. Tonight was really awesome. I just wondered how you got so good at doing that if you never did it before.”

Ennis’s eyes slid away from Jack’s, focusing somewhere on his chest, and if there was enough light to see, Jack would bet Ennis’s cheeks were pink. He had that embarrassed look about him. “I watched some videos,” he finally said, picking harder at the seams of the quilt. “And I practiced some.”

Jake gaped. “But you just said you never did it with anybody else.”

“I didn’t practice with a person.”

“What then?” Jack asked, getting really interested since Ennis was sounding edgy about it.

“Don’t laugh,” Ennis warned.

“Ok, I won’t,” Jack promised, then snapped his mouth shut in case it was going to be a hard promise to keep.

“A cucumber.”

Jack grinned and had to bite his bottom lip for a minute to keep from giggling in spite of his promise, but then the reality of the situation struck. As ridiculous as it sounded, he might’ve wanted to do it too, because he wanted to be good in bed too, expect for one thing. “I can’t practice on them. I’m allergic to cucumbers.”

Quick as lightning, Ennis reached out and snagged Jack’s hand and dragged it under the covers. “That’s too bad. Lucky for us, I got something else you can practice on. I’m pretty sure you’re not allergic to this,” he said, pressing Jack’s palm against his cock, which, like Jack’s, was already revved up and ready for round two.

Jack gave it a squeeze and Ennis sighed. “Well, no, but what if I’m not any good at it?”

“I’m not that picky. Besides, you’ll get better.” Ennis arched into his hand and hummed. “I’ll let you practice whenever you want.”

Jack slid closer till their noses were almost touching. He could feel Ennis’s knees and toes bumping his own. “Like now, maybe?”

Ennis nodded. Jack felt some dampness against his palm. “Yeah, I think now would be an excellent time to start.”

Jack started to slide under the covers but Ennis’s quick hand was back, this time pulling him into a kiss. “Hey, start here, ok? We’ve got all night.”

“Yeah, ok, that sounds good to me,” Jack whispered back, happy to let Ennis set a slow, easy pace. He wanted to try everything eventually, but like Ennis said, they had all night, and hopefully the rest of the school year, and then maybe even college. Jack knew that if it worked out that they went off to school together, college would open up a whole new world for both of them. Anything might happen, bad things included. And he also knew that first loves almost never worked out. But there was a romantic streak deep down in his soul insisting that sometimes they did. It sure wouldn’t happen if they didn’t try. What he had with Ennis was still brand new, but it felt good and it felt right, and who knew… maybe it even felt like forever.

Feels Like Forever, Part Two, Take Two

2014-04-23T05:11:15Z

EIGHT

“Where are we?” Jack asked, looking around curiously as Ennis pulled into an almost hidden driveway only a few miles from the lake house and the party they’d left less than an hour ago.

“My uncle’s fish camp. It’s not fancy like the Warner’s place, but it’s cool. I come here a lot on the weekends, go fishing and stuff.” He parked and they got out. It was chilly but not too cold. Jack wished he had his jacket but he wasn’t about to complain.

“He doesn’t mind?” Jack asked, following him up a gravel path to the door. The house was small, green siding, lots of windows. Nothing fancy, but it was quiet and peaceful and if there was a bed in there, it was all good with him.

“No. He said as long as he can’t tell I’ve been here and I don’t do anything too illegal, it’s ok.” Ennis held up the whiskey he’d brought from his Jeep. “He and my dad did everything when they were teenagers, so they don’t give us too much shit as long as we stay outta jail and the hospital.”

“Huh. That’s cool,” Jack said, unable to even wrap his brain around that kind of freedom. “My dad… well, you can imagine.”

“Yeah.” Ennis pulled a key out of the shadows and opened the door. “Guess he’s pretty hard to keep happy, huh?”

“He’s not that bad all the time, but he’s been pretty freaked about tonight. He was tweaking about me staying out all night, especially since I brought Lindsey, but I told him we’re just friends and that she was going home with her girlfriends once the party wound down anyway. Since her folks were okay with it, there wasn’t much he could say.”

“Guess not.” Ennis flicked a switch on the wall and a couple of lamps came on at either end of a big couch. There was a recliner and a T.V. and all kinds of stuff hanging on the wall, including deer heads and other hunting trophies. Jack had never shot a gun and even though he didn’t want to go hunting, he’d like to learn to shoot. Maybe Ennis wouldn’t mind teaching him. That would be something cool they could do together, even if they never got past being friends.

They went through to the kitchen and Jack leaned against the counter while Ennis got busy mixing drinks. He filled two tall glasses with ice, then poured the coke in slowly so it wouldn’t foam up. He added in a couple dollops of the whiskey and handed Jack a glass. “That ok?”

Jack took a sip. He could taste the bite of the liquor, but it was good, not too strong, just right. “Yeah. Thanks.”

Ennis smiled. “Ok. Let’s go check out the lake.”

They went out the back door and down some steps, then followed another gravel path through the yard. There were trees all around the yard, as well as other things, bird baths and a wooden swing and pots with late season flowers. It was a comfortable place and Jack felt good there. Regardless of how the night turned out, he definitely hoped he got to come back.

Ennis led him down to a short dock. They walked out to the end and sat down, their feet dangling above the water. The wind was brisker and Jack shivered a little. Since he didn’t have any other way to stay warm, he shifted closer to Ennis.

“You cold?” Ennis asked, closing the distance between them a little more, so that their shoulders were snug.

“A little, but it’s ok. This is cool. I’ve only been out to the lake a couple of times. You said you come out here a lot?”

“Yeah, whenever I’ve got some free time on the weekend.”

“Who comes with you?” What Jack wanted to know was if he brought girls out there, but he wasn’t sure how to ask that without sounding weird, so he went with generic. If Ennis did bring girls, he probably wouldn’t skip out on an opportunity to brag about it.

“Nobody usually. Guess my cousins are tired of it – they’ve been coming out here for years. I like it, though. We lived in town back in Atlanta and I didn’t have any place like this to go, so I come out here every chance I get.”

“You’re glad y’all moved back here?” Jack asked, taking a sip of his drink.

Ennis looked at Jack and smiled. “Yeah. I miss my friends back home and it woulda been sweet to play baseball there my senior year, but I’m not gonna play in college anyway, so it doesn’t really matter.”

“Are you gonna try out for our team?” Jack asked, taking a sip of his drink.

“I dunno…” Ennis said, staring off across the lake, but it was almost like he was looking way further than that, maybe even off into the future. “It’s not a big deal to me here like it would’ve been there. I’m thinking more about college now. High school’s kinda over for me.”

“I know what you mean. I mean, we’ve still gotta get good grades and stuff, but I’m not really into the whole big thing about senior year. It’s not like sacred to me or anything.” Jack took another sip of his drink, searching for lights across the water. “My dad’ll probably get promoted to another church after I graduate, so when I go home, I won’t even be coming to this town. I’ll probably never even see most of these people again.”

“Are you and Cody gonna room together at college?”

“We’ve talked about it, but I don’t think so. He wants to be a vet. He’s pretty much committed to U.G. and I don’t wanna go there.”

“Where are you going?”

“I haven’t decided yet. I’m thinking about Auburn.”

“I thought about there too, but it’s so close. I wanna get further away from here.”

“How come? You don’t get along with your folks or something?”

“No, it’s not that. But my dad, he’s always up in my business, trying to tell me what he thinks I oughta do with my life and stuff, and maybe that’s not what I want to do, you know? I figure if I put a few hours between us, I’ll have a better chance of figuring shit out on my own.”

“Yeah, I can see that. My dad’s all up in my shit too, but I guess he has to be, seeing as how he’s a preacher and all. It’s his job to tell people what to think and how to live.”

Ennis shook his head. “That’s gotta get old.”

“It does. It’s like, no matter what I do, I’m never gonna measure up. I mean, I love him and he’s been great since my mom died, but sometimes I wish I could just disappear once I leave for school.”

“Me too,” Ennis nodded

“So have you picked where you’re gonna go yet?” Jack asked, ready to put the spotlight back on Ennis for a while.

“I’m almost a hundred percent sure I’m going to U.F. They have a really good engineering program.”

“Do you know anybody who’s going there?”

“No. But that’s ok. I really just wanna do my own thing, you know?”

“Yeah, I know.” Jack shook his glass, rattled the ice that was about all he had left. He hadn’t even realized he was drinking and it was all gone. “I actually thought about going there too. I’m thinking of doing something in the medical field. Maybe radiology or anesthesiology. They’ve got really good programs there.”

Ennis smiled. “That’d be cool if you decided to go there too. It’d be nice to have at least one person I knew there, as long as you don’t spy on my for the ‘rents!”

Jack grinned big. “Secrecy pact!” he said and held up his fist, which Ennis bumped immediately.

“For sure!” He drained his glass and looked down at Jack’s. “If you wanna just hang out, we can have another, or I can take you to Cody’s house or wherever you wanna go.”

“What are you gonna do?” Jack asked. He didn’t want to go anywhere, but he didn’t want Ennis to feel like he was stuck with him if he didn’t want to be.

Ennis rocked back on the dock, surveying his little kingdom serenely. “I’m good with just staying here till morning. We can drink all we want, sleep late, and there’s stuff in the fridge to make breakfast with. But it’s whatever you wanna do. I’m cool with whatever.”

Jack’s whole body hummed with want as he looked at Ennis lounging beside him, elbows on the dock, stretched out long and lean and lazy. Jack wanted to crawl on him and make out for about ten hours, but he was pretty sure Ennis wasn’t offering anything like that. But he was offering a bed and breakfast, and as far as consolation prizes went, that wasn’t half bad.

“That sounds good to me. Can I text my dad and tell him where I am?”

“Sure. You want another drink?”

“Yeah, and a jacket if you’ve got one. I’m freezing!”

Ennis laughed at him but said, “Sure, dude, come on,” and they made their way back up the dock and the path to the house. Jack texted his dad that he was with Ennis del Mar at his uncle’s cabin on the lake and they were spending the night there and no, his uncle didn’t care, and he got a text back about three seconds later saying, “Ok. Be safe. Love you.” For some stupid reason, probably the booze, Jack got that stingy feeling in his eyes like when he was going to cry, but he blinked it away and then Ennis made some dumb joke about frogs and the moment passed.

Ennis fixed them more drinks and grabbed a bag of potato chips and they went out to the screened-in porch. Instead of finding Jack a jacket, he turned the propane heater on and it hummed to life and started warming things up nicely. They plonked down on a long wicker couch covered with a quilt and put their drinks and the chips on the wicker coffee table. There were a couple of matching chairs across from the couch and wind chimes tinkling in the breeze. The moon shone in brightly, and above the sound of the wind chimes Jack could hear the lake lapping at the shore. It was quite and secluded and perfectly peaceful. He still wondered if Ennis ever brought girls here. It would be such an awesome make-out spot.

“This place is awesome. It’d be the perfect place to bring a girl.”

“Yeah, I know. Carter and Wade bring girls out here sometimes, but not me. I like to come out here to get away from folks.” He looked over at Jack, seemed to realize he wasn’t sounding very welcoming. “It’s good with you though. If you wanna come back, just say the word, ok?”

Jack was pretty sure he meant it, but he poked at it a little, just in case. This was too important to screw up. “It’s ok, man. You don’t hafta say that. I’m just glad you brought me tonight. I was ready to ditch the party, but I never get to stay out, you know, so I didn’t want to go home on my one free pass.”

Ennis nodded. “Yeah, I know what you mean.” He bumped his knee into Jack’s and looked him in the eye. “But I’m serious, Jack, about you coming out here with me. I would’ve asked you before, but seems like you’re always busy with your friends and stuff. I think it’d be really cool, hanging out here with you.”

“Yeah, ok, I’d like that too,” Jack said, and the last little bit of tension in the air seemed to dissolve after that and they sipped their drinks in easy silence for a minute. The night seemed ripe with something Jack had never sensed before and his body tingled hopefully.

“So how come you didn’t want to date her?” Ennis asked, and it was so out of the blue that Jack was confused.

“Huh?” he asked, looking stupidly at Ennis, and Ennis grinned and nudged him.

“Lindsey. She’s real pretty. How come you didn’t want to date her?”

Jack shrugged, wishing he could answer with the truth but still too afraid for that, so he went with his standard line. “I didn’t wanna take a chance on doing something to get my dad more freaked out than he already is. And it’s not like I was dying to date her or anything like that anyway, which is good, I guess, since she likes Justin. I just think I’m better off waiting till I get out of his house before I do anything he wouldn’t like.”

“You mean, to…” he said, arching his eyebrows and making a face that didn’t actually say fuck but conveyed the idea of the act perfectly.

Jack nodded and Ennis sighed. “Yeah, I guess. So you’ve never…?” He made that face again and Jack shook his head.

“Nope.” He felt lame, but not because he’d never slept with a girl. He’d never wanted to sleep with a girl. There were things he did want to do, though, and he’d never gotten a chance to do any of them either and that was what really sucked.

Ennis must’ve sensed his feelings of inadequacy, because he said, “I’ve slept with a coupla girls and it’s cool and all, but it’s not really that big a deal. You’re not missing out on anything that awesome.”

“That’s not what Cody and Hunter say. They say it’s the greatest thing ever.”

“Hmmm. Well, I mean, getting off is always cool,” he shrugged, “but I don’t know… I just didn’t think it was that great. I haven’t done it in a while…” He said the words slow and shy, like he was confessing something either really wrong or really important. Jack leaned forward to get his drink off the table, eased a little closer to Ennis when he sat back. Their shoulders and arms slid together like when they were out on the dock and he could feel Ennis’s heat warming him.

“You don’t miss it?” he asked, turning so that he could see Ennis’s face when he answered, wishing like crazy that he could see inside to what he was really thinking.

Ennis turned too so that they were eye to eye, only a very small space between them. A long minute passed as they stared at each other, Ennis solemn and still and searching for something in his eyes that he must’ve found at last because finally he said, “I’ll tell you something, but it’s a secret, and even if you hate me for it, I need you to keep it, ‘cause my dad’ll kill me if he finds out.”

Jack’s heart went straight into overdrive, because Ennis’s leg was pressing harder against his, and he’d never been this close to a boy before since he was a little kid, and Ennis was about to tell him a secret. Even if it wasn’t the secret he secretly wanted to hear, this was a step in the right direction. “Okay,” he whispered, leaning even closer.

“Promise? Even if it’s bad?”

“Yes.”

“The reason I don’t like sex with girls is ‘cause I don’t like girls that way.” They stared at each, breathed. Neither moved. “I like guys, Jack. I’m pretty sure I’m gay.”

Everything welled up in him in that instant, all his dreams and fantasies and long put-off needs, and it might not’ve been meant as permission or an invitation, but Jack didn’t care. It was an opening he’d only dreamed of before, and he had no words to answer with, just a kiss he’d been saving for Ennis ever since their weeks together in that dorm room in south Alabama.

NINE

Ennis had about two seconds to register what was going on before Jack’s mouth was on his and they were kissing and his brain went to that crazy place where there were no thoughts, only feelings. He wrapped his arms around Jack and held on tight, opening his mouth and giving Jack free rein to explore at will, tasting him as their tongues played, knowing instantly that nothing would ever be so sweet again as making out with this boy/man that he loved.

They kissed for a while, Jack so eager that he finally climbed onto Ennis, straddling his lap, rocking and thrusting his hips with need. Ennis slipped his hands down Jack’s back, the cotton of his shirt damp with sweat and excitement. When he got to his ass, he slowed down, but Jack didn’t give any sign that he wanted him to stop, so Ennis slid his hands down to cup his cheeks and squeeze. Jack gasped and moaned into his mouth.

“Jesus, Ennis… it feels so good….” he panted, pulling away from the kiss at last.

“Yeah, I know,” Ennis answered back, breathless himself. “I knew it would. I’ve wanted to do this with you forever,” he confessed.

“Really?” Jack sounded surprised.

“Yeah.”

“This summer?” Jack touched his face, ran his finger over his jaw gently, like he was afraid if he touched too much he might push him away, but that would never happen.

“Yeah.”

Jack smiled, the corners of his mouth crooking up adorably. “Me too.”

“Damn! I wish I’d known. We’ve wasted so much time,” Ennis groaned, pulling him back down for another kiss, angling his hips differently so that they rubbed together there for the first time.

“Ohhhhhhhh…….” Jack pumped harder, but he couldn’t get close enough to touch where they needed to touch and Ennis suddenly couldn’t wait any longer. He pushed Jack sideways and followed him down onto the couch, lying flush on top of him, grinding with his hips as his lips sought and found Jack’s mouth for another wet, messy kiss.

“Oh God!” Jack grunted and bucked furiously underneath him.

“It’s good, isn’t it?” Ennis pulled his hips back to slow things down, latched his lips on Jack’s neck.

“I’m gonna come!” Jack told him in answer.

“Don’t you wanna do more stuff first?”

Jack got still. Ennis could imagine what he was thinking. “Not that! But I wanna see you, and touch you, if it’s okay…” he whispered, cupping the front of Jack’s khakis, feeling the hard length of him burning through the material, leaving a damp spot under his palm.

“Yeah, okay,” Jack gasped, bucking against his hand, and Ennis knew how urgent he was feeling because he couldn’t imagine how he’d survive if Jack touched him at that moment. He was already right on the knife edge of exploding.

Ennis gave him a push and Jack scooted up till he was sitting propped against the arm of the couch. Ennis went the other way, sliding down Jack’s body till he got settled between his legs. He pressed his lips against the bulge he’d just touched and Jack moaned hoarsely. He mouthed the tip of it and Jack whimpered. So far, so good.

Ennis swallowed down the last of his nerves as he reached for the button that was keeping him out. Wanting to do something, dreaming about it and jacking off to fantasies of it was one thing, but this was the real deal. Jack was hot and alive beneath him, and as he slowly unzipped his fly, he knew it was do or die time. He flipped back the tan fabric, was faced with Jack’s erection trapped in his white underpants, and he lowered his face and nuzzled it, rubbed his nose and lips down the length, breathing him in, tasting the salty dampness at the tip.

“Ennis…. please…. do something,” Jack breathed, touching his fingers to Ennis’s head tentatively, ruffling his hair.

“Raise your butt up,” Ennis told him, and when Jack did, he took a fortifying breath and eased his pants and underwear down to his knees. Jack’s dick popped out, hard and swollen, and even though Ennis couldn’t really see color in the moonlight, it was dark and angry looking. He stuck his tongue out and touched it, flicked the head nervously.

“Oh God,” Jack moaned and Ennis silently agreed as he closed his eyes and closed his lips around that hot, red tip, slipping his tongue over it for the first time, feeling Jack’s hands go from tentative to sure in his hair as they held on tight.

Lightening didn’t come out of nowhere and strike them dead, so after a few seconds he opened his mouth wider and slid it down the hard column of flesh, tasting Jack in this new place and loving it just as much as he did his mouth. He slid his hands up Jack’s thighs, the muscles and the roughness of his hair exciting him, making him suck harder. “Ohhhh….” Jack moaned again, pushing him down even further on his dick. Ennis gagged a little and pulled back, trying to breathe and keep his teeth out of it as he bobbed his head, but Jack was in heaven and didn’t seem to mind the occasional scrape.

“It’s good, Ennis…” he whispered, encouraging, and Ennis stopped bobbing and started sucking on his smooth, round tip, rubbing his lips all over it, teasing the slit and tracing the perfect shape of it with his tongue till Jack was panting and making sounds Ennis had never heard before.

After a few minutes of that joy, Jack begged, “Suck me some more, please,” and Ennis knew they were both done with teasing. His own cock was ready to go off without even getting out of his pants.

“Okay,” he said, then took Jack’s cock in as far as he could, hummed as he slid his lips up and down and Jack was there in an instant, chanting “Oh God! Oh shit! Jesus!” as his hips pumped and he filled Ennis’s mouth with the warm, salty spurt of his come. Ennis swallowed as fast as he could, trying not to choke or kill Jack with his teeth. Even though he’d expected this, there was no way to really prepare for that kind of explosion in your mouth without some experience. He’d do better next time, he promised himself as he took another gulp.

If there was a next time. If Jack didn’t freak out and run home, confess to his dad and pray for forgiveness and get Ennis stoned. Ennis didn’t think that was going to happen. Jack had made the first move, after all, had kissed him and then crawled in his lap and there hadn’t been any doubt in Ennis’s mind what he’d wanted right then. Still, he knew there was a chance that Jack might regret everything as soon as they were done.

Ennis hoped not though, because he really liked Jack and had missed him so much ever since the end of their summer mission trip. He’d wanted to keep their friendship going once they got back home, but Jack lived in a whole different world from him and he just couldn’t figure out how to make it happen. Now this had happened and he hoped desperately that this was going to be the beginning of something new and wonderful, but that might not be what Jack wanted at all.

As he swallowed the last little burst of come, he realized with a tremor of nervous anticipation that his whole future happiness depended on what happened with this boy in the next few minutes.

Ennis’s dick was about to explode in his jeans. As much as he wanted to find out where Jack was at with this in his head, he also wanted to get off with Jack at least one time, and once they started talking, weirdness might very well take over and make him miss his chance. His mouth made a little popping noise when Jack’s cock came out and Ennis took a few seconds to look at it, still shiny with his spit, lying there on Jack’s belly, half-hard and perfect. His dick ached with need and looking at Jack’s just made it worse. He needed to do something now.

Ennis looked up, followed the trail of white buttons up to Jack’s face, and felt a huge burst of relief when all he saw was a lazy, satisfied smile. If Jack was nervous or having second thoughts, he was keeping it hidden. He looked happy and content and Ennis wanted to memorize his face in that moment and keep the picture in his mind forever.

Jack trailed one finger over Ennis’s bottom lip. “That was awesome.”

Ennis had never been praised for his performance in bed before and he blushed. “Thanks.”

“What about you? Did you finish yet?” Jack asked, his voice soft and quiet, barely more than a whisper.

Ennis shook his head. “Not yet.”

“Don’t you want to?” His smile slipped and he looked confused and a little worried.

“Yeah, course I do.” Ennis flexed his hips, ground his dick into Jack’s leg and grimaced.

Jack seemed to catch on at last because he took Ennis by the arms and pulled him up till they were face to face. “What’s it taste like?” Jack asked, curious, eyes on Ennis’s mouth.

“It’s not bad. You wanna try it?”

“I wanna taste it here first,” he said, then pulled Ennis down for a kiss that was almost his undoing. Having Jack underneath him with his legs spread and his dick out and his tongue in Ennis’s mouth, taking a taste of his own come… well, it was almost too much for Ennis to bear. Thankfully, after about a minute, he felt Jack’s fingers inching around to his belt buckle, and a few seconds later he felt pressure, then air, then those long, seeking fingers were pulling him out and stroking him gently. Ennis trembled and tried to stay focused on the kiss, hoping if he didn’t think about what was going on down south he might last for a few extra seconds.

“You’re big, Ennis,” was the first thing Jack said when Ennis pulled his mouth away so they could breathe. Ennis pushed up and they both looked down at his cock, which did look big in Jack’s hand but Ennis was pretty sure he wasn’t much bigger than Jack. A burble of white popped out of the tip. Jack grinned and stroked him harder and Ennis groaned and pushed into it, already hanging on the edge. Some more spurted out and Jack swiped a finger through the spill and tasted it, looking up at Ennis through long, lush lashes as he touched his finger to his tongue. That was all the eye porn Ennis could take. He gave up trying to make it last, just swooped down for another come-flavored kiss as the familiar rush of sweet-hot ecstasy poured over him and he came hard and fast in Jack’s hand.

keep reading: http://sienata.livejournal.com/204443.html

Feels Like Forever, Part One, Take Two

2014-04-23T05:05:51Z

Thank you to those who commented and made suggestions. I've made a few changes and Bethie now has the new file to beta. I'm going to post what i hope is 99% the final version of the story here, just in case anyone wants to review it. I've changed parts one and two to make the POV agree with the rest of the story, and i've changed the last section to make it fit better with the rest of the story. If you do happen to read it and see a typo, please tell me in a comment or a message. I'm totally fine with either. Again, Parts 1 & 2 & 10 are different. The rest is mostly the same. :) I will be getting back to SWY now. I apologize for the interruption but getting something ready to submit made me so happy. I will be even happier if it gets accepted, but i do feel like it's a good little story, and if they don't take it, i might submit it somewhere else! Thanks again for your help. :)

PS: final word count: 11,284

Feels Like Forever

ONE

Ennis was in love with Jack Twist.

Jack didn’t know it, of course. There was no way in hell that Ennis could possibly ever tell him that, at least no way that he could think of. Jack was the nicest, most straight-up guy in school. Ennis didn’t even think he had sex with girls. If he did, Ennis never heard about it. Not that girls didn’t want to have sex with Jack – Ennis heard them talking about him all the time at lunch and in between classes, how hot his body was and how much they loved his blue eyes and thick, spiky eyelashes.

Ennis didn’t blame them one bit. He felt the same way. But if Jack blushed when the girls tried to hit on him – which he did, Ennis had seen it with his own two eyes – then he could only imagine what Jack would say if he knew what Ennis wanted to do with him. Ennis figured it would start with blushing and end up with Jack freaking out and never speaking to him again. Jack’s dad was a preacher, after all, so Jack probably went along with the company line and thought it was all a sin too. Maybe he thought all sex was a sin. That would explain him never giving the girls what they wanted either.

Ennis went to church on Sundays too, but he didn’t go along with Rev. Twist’s way of thinking. Ennis believed that killing people was a sin, along with hating on folks just because they were different, and doing things that hurt people for no reason. He just didn’t see how sex with someone you love could be a sin, no matter if that person was a boy or a girl. What difference could that possibly make anyway?

Last Sunday’s sermon just happened to be about how the God-fearing Christians should all unite and take a stand against gay marriage because it’s an abomination. Ennis was sitting just a few feet down the pew from Jack with all the other teenagers, and right in the middle of Rev. Twist’s big freak-out against everything gay, Ennis dropped his bulletin on purpose. When he leaned down to get it, he took a quick look at Jack’s face to see if maybe he could tell what Jack was thinking, but he couldn’t. Jack had this real peaceful, almost angelic, expression on his face, like he was totally fascinated by what his dad was saying, but Ennis had seen that same look on his face in trigonometry class and Jack hated that class, so that could mean anything.

Ennis knew his chances with Jack were dwindling down to nothing. High school was almost over. Well, not technically, since it was only October, but it was senior year and once the year was done so were his chances. Ennis didn’t know where Jack was planning to go to school in the fall since they hadn’t had a chance to talk about it since the summer, but with all the choices out there, it probably wasn’t the same place as him. And if that was the case, come August he’d never see Jack again. He’d never get another chance to hang out with him and talk to him about anything important, like sex and sin. Even worse, it slammed the door on any hope Ennis had of getting to kiss those smiling lips or touch his sleek, hard body, something Ennis had been wanting to do ever since June when they shared a room down in south Alabama for three weeks and he’d fallen in love.

TWO

Jack was in love with Ennis del Mar.

Nobody knew. His dad would throw a shit fit that would never stop if he ever breathed even a whiff of it. He thought being queer was just one step above being a child molester. He talked about it all the time, even at home when he wasn’t even doing church stuff. If anything ever came up about it on T.V., he would immediately start ranting about how all the homosexuals were going to hell if they didn’t repent and get right with God and start fucking women. He didn’t actually say “fucking women,” of course. He’d say, “Put their unnatural desires behind them and pursue normal relations.” But fucking women was what he meant.

Jack was pretty sure his dad was insane, at least about that particular topic. It even made Jack wonder sometimes if he might be hiding something, if maybe he had a few secret unnatural desires of his own that he was trying to stamp out. It made Jack think of the saying about folks protesting too much, but he kept his mouth closed about that.

Another weird thing, in Jack’s opinion, was that his dad never dated. His mom had died six years ago and Jack didn’t think he’d touched another woman since. He must just do it himself, which was totally disgusting to think about, but his dad was only forty-three. Jack was pretty sure men still had sex in their forties and hopefully even after that. All those old guys out in Hollywood had babies till they were too old to even cut their own meat, so surely guys his dad’s age still wanted to have sex.

Jack really hoped that they did, anyway. He felt like he’d been waiting a hundred years for it already. Once he finally got to do it, he planned to keep right on doing it until he was too old and gross for anybody to want to do it with him anymore, at which point he’d have to go back to doing it himself. He dreaded that day. Do-it-yourself sex was not really that great, especially once he realized he had a major boner for Ennis.

That had started a few months ago when a group of teens from church went to help rebuild some houses after a bunch of tornadoes swept through and demolished a town down near the coast. They were there for three weeks and Jack and Ennis ended up being roommates. Ennis’s family had just moved to their town from Atlanta in the spring, so Jack didn’t know him that well, had just seen him in Sunday school and at a few youth meetings. He seemed nice enough though, and Jack had totally noticed how hot he was, but back then he was still trying not to think about that kind of thing and hoping it would go away.

So that first week, it was real casual and basic, just the two of them talking about sports and T.V. shows and video games they liked. That hadn’t spent that much time in their room anyway, so that was about all they had time for before bedtime.

By the second week, though, things got more personal. They talked about colleges they were interested in and how neither one of them could wait to get out of their parents’ houses. Ennis talked about his friends at his old school and told Jack some of the crazy shit they’d done. They figured out that they liked some of the same books and movies – Jack was surprised to find out that Ennis liked to read because he didn’t come across as that sort of guy at school, more of a good-ol’-boy type, but everybody had their secrets. Even though Ennis was way more of a wild man than Jack, they ended up hitting it off pretty well, so that even though they were tired they’d stay up after lights-out most nights, still talking.

By the third week, Jack realized he didn’t want to spend any of his free time hanging out with any of the other kids, not even his two best friends who were also there and sharing a room down the hall. He just wanted to stay in their room as much as possible, talking and playing gin and watching T.V. on Ennis’s laptop.

And looking at Ennis. That became Jack’s favorite pastime that last week. Each morning Ennis got up first and took his shower. Jack hated getting up early and Ennis always let him sleep till he was done, then woke Jack up so he could hurry and get ready to go at the last minute. But that last week, no matter how dead asleep Jack was, he always woke up when Ennis’s alarm went off and was awake when Ennis came back from the bathroom to get dressed. Every morning he watched him standing naked at the end of his bed, drying the last of the water off his body before pulling on his underwear.

It wasn’t like Jack never got a chance to look at naked boys. He was on the football team and they undressed and showered together every day. But Jack never looked at any of them like he looked at Ennis. Ennis was tall and on the thin side, but his body was lean and tight. He’d talked about playing baseball at his old school and it showed. After working all those weeks in shorts and no shirt, he had a real good tan everywhere except on his butt and upper thighs. Jack was totally fascinated with that pale skin and there was nothing he wanted more than to touch it and taste Ennis there. Some days he got a glimpse of his dick if he turned just right, and even though it wasn’t huge or hard, it still turned Jack on like crazy. Just seeing it there in the dimness of the early morning, in their dorm room – their room – with no one else around… it just seemed to Jack like it would be the most natural thing in the world for Ennis to climb into bed with him and for them to make love.

Ennis never did anything like that though, of course. He’d pull on his jeans, then say Jack’s name. Jack would pretend to be asleep, so that Ennis would have to get up close and touch his shoulder and jostle him, saying, “Jack… Jack… You gotta get up and get ready. It’s almost time to go,” before Jack would finally yawn and stretch and wake-up. Then he always had to wait for Ennis to move away before he got up and hurried to the bathroom, hoping Ennis wouldn’t notice how hard he was. That last week he’d jerked off every morning in the shower and again every night in bed after Ennis went to sleep, just listening to him breathe. He didn’t have any lube or lotion and spit wasn’t much help, so his dick was sore as shit by the time they went home, but Jack didn’t care. It was still worth it.

After they got back home from the Outreach Trip, life went back to normal for the rest of the summer. Jack was disappointed because he’d hoped he and Ennis would start hanging out more, but Ennis got a job and Jack already had one and they ate up most of their free time. On the weekends Ennis hung out with his cousins, who’d lived in town forever and knew everybody, and Jack went back to hanging out with his regular crowd. He and his friends went to movies and bowled and had video game marathons. They never went muddin’ or raced their cars or smoked weed like Ennis’s friends did. Compared to them, Jack figured his crowded probably seemed like the most boring kids on the planet. Certainly nobody Ennis would want to waste a Saturday night with.

Nothing changed once school started except that Jack got to see him more. Ennis always smiled and was friendly, but their school was super cliquish so he and Ennis might as well’ve been in different time zones for all they got to hang out. Between football practice every day and homework and his job on Saturdays, Jack didn’t have a lot of spare time to do extra stuff anyway. Usually he only ended up seeing Ennis for little bits of time between classes and then on Sunday at church. They’d say hi and shoot the shit whenever they got the chance, but it was just surface chatter and not nearly enough for Jack. Even if they were never going to be more than just friends, which Jack realized was his only true option, he would’ve liked to at least have that, but he wasn’t sure how to break the ice again. During the summer when they were roommates, their friendship had happened because they’d had no choice, but back in the real world, it wasn’t that easy. Jack could just imagine what Ennis’s friends would think if he invited Ennis to go bowling or something stale like that. They’d bust something vital laughing at him.

The whole situation left Jack frustrated and cranky. His friends all thought he was varying degrees of a loser for not risking the wrath of his dad and trying to get into some girl’s pants, and he was tired of having to lie and pretend like he cared about that. Meanwhile, Ennis drifted in and out of the edges of his life but never close enough for Jack to reel him back in. That went on for months until finally Homecoming came along and Jack saw the tiniest window of opportunity to make something change.

All of Jack’s friends were taking dates to the Homecoming Dance, either their girlfriends or girls that would maybe be their girlfriends after that night. Jack was taking Lindsey Peterson, whose dad was both the chief of police and a deacon in his dad’s church. Definitely not a guy he wanted to get in trouble with, for sure, so they were going just as friends. He’d thought about sucking it up and dating her for the rest of the year just to take the pressure off, but he didn’t want to and he wasn’t ready to give up completely on Ennis just yet.

Part of the reason for this bit of hope was that Ennis wasn’t taking a date. That, by itself, didn’t have to mean anything, since Ennis’s crowd went stag all the time so they could hit on lots of different girls. But Jack never saw Ennis with a girl at all, so maybe… On top of that, there was going to be a party after the dance and rumor was that some of the guys were planning to bring booze. Lindsey wasn’t going to the party. She and her girlfriends were having a sleepover after the dance. But Ennis would be there for sure. And Jack would too. Alone. If his dad got wind of it, there’d be hell to pay, but Jack didn’t care. It was his senior year and maybe his only chance to hang out with Ennis. He was going to the party.

THREE

The dance was just okay – nothing great. Ennis didn’t bring a girl, and when girls tried to get him out on the floor, he just shook his head and said he wasn’t into dancing. Jack didn’t dance either, and Ennis wasn’t sure if that was because he didn’t like to dance or because his dad was a preacher. In Footloose, the preacher dad had been all against dancing, but Ennis wasn’t sure what Jack’s dad thought about it. Either way, Ennis was glad he didn’t dance because he didn’t want to have to watch him all hugged up with Lindsey. He was trying to keep his cool and not be jealous since he had no chance of ever dating Jack anyway and jealousy was such a bitch to deal with, but it was still hard to see him holding her hand and smiling at her.

Jack had the best smile. It lit up his whole face, made him look so happy that it made you feel good too, just getting to see it. Ennis remembered what it was like to see it close up back in the summer, when they’d sit on his bed watching episodes of Dexter until they couldn’t keep their eyes open another minute. Ennis used to hope that Jack would fall asleep for real, and that maybe they could end up sleeping in the same bed for the whole night, but that never happened.

Even without the jealousy issue, the dance wasn’t Ennis’s thing at all and he was super glad when the guys were finally ready to leave for the lake house. Ennis wasn’t thrilled about the party, but there’d be beer and a pool table and places to hide when he needed to disappear for a few minutes, so it beat the school gym out by about a million.

Ennis had never told anyone why he didn’t date, not even his cousin Laura who was a real sweetheart and not judgmental at all. He kept his secret to himself, and even though some of the other guys gave him hell sometimes, called him a eunuch and crap like that, he didn’t let it get to him. He didn’t want to date and live a lie. He’d slept with a few girls and he didn’t want to do it anymore, so he wasn’t. That was his line in the sand and he could deal with the heat until he went off to college, at which point he wasn’t going to pretend anymore. He’d already found out that the school he’d picked out had an active LGBT community and he planned to look them up right away.

He felt bad for being glad that his school was so far away from his parents’ house, but he was. He planned to keep it from his folks as long as he could, wanted time to try things out for himself before he stepped off into it with no way back out. He knew there was a good chance the welcome mat would get yanked off the front door step permanently once this news got out, so he wanted to make damn sure of what he was doing before he let the cat out of the bag. It sucked thinking about having to make that choice, but Ennis didn’t want to live his whole life being miserable because he couldn’t be with who he wanted to be with. If it ended up that he had to choose, he was going to pick himself. At the end of the day, he was all he for-sure had anyway.

The boner that fired up in his jeans as soon as Jack Twist walked in, wearing a white oxford button down and a pair of soft, worn khakis, should’ve been enough to make Ennis sure. He didn’t figure any of the other guys were sporting sudden wood just because the cutest boy in school happened to walk into the room. But until he actually got skin to skin with another guy, there was always the chance that he was just dreaming. Before he turned his life completely upside down, he wanted – needed – to be sure.

FOUR

Jack drained his second cup of spiked punch and tossed the cup away. He was trying to go slow, since he almost never drank and had pretty much no tolerance for alcohol. It was two in the morning and most of the other kids had had several cups by then, plus Jack had seen some bottles of schnapps and wine getting passed around, and things were getting a little bit loud and crazy. Jack didn’t want to get stupid and pass out or throw up though. He just wanted to get brave, and two cups was enough for that.

His best friend Cody was making out with his girlfriend on the sofa, and Jack’s other friends were either dancing if their girlfriends were still around or playing beer pong if their girls had had to go home. Everyone looked happy. Jack wanted to be happy too, and he knew just who could make him feel that way. He headed for the garage, where there was loud music, a pool table and a cooler full of beer, and where he was pretty sure Ennis and his friends were camped out.

There was a girl talking to Ennis when he got there, but Ennis looked up and smiled at him as soon as he entered the room, which made Jack feel good, like maybe he’d been watching for him. At the very least, it looked like he was glad to see him. Jack got a beer from the cooler, hoped to God it wouldn’t push him over the edge and make him hurl, then started making his way towards Ennis. Ennis gave the girl his cue stick and pointed at the pool table. She looked confused, but was obviously drunk enough to go along with it.

“Hey. What’s up?” Ennis said as they closed the gap and got close enough to talk. “Where’s Lindsey?”

“She’s with some of her girlfriends. They’re all sleeping over at Jessica’s.” Jack popped the top on his beer and took a sip. It was cold, but it tasted like liquified wheat, ugh, and he passed it to Ennis, who took it with a confused grin.

“What’s up with that? I thought y’all were just telling her folks that so she could stay out all night.” He took a sip of the beer, and Jack got a tingle just watching him put his mouth where his had just been. He had a nice mouth with a sweet smile that Jack had grown to crave.

“Actually, she was. Turns out she’s got a big secret crush on Justin. She left with him. But you didn’t hear it from me.”

Ennis coughed and sputtered. “You looking for someone to help you kick his ass?”

“No man, I don’t care. I knew he kinda liked her when I asked her. I just didn’t know she liked him back. I’m cool with it.”

“For real?” Ennis seemed to be having a hard time grasping the concept.

“Yeah. For real. She and I just came as friends anyway,” Jack said pointedly, then took the beer back and had another sip, just to make sure he really didn’t like it. Guys were supposed to like beer, and he wanted to, but his stomach just wasn’t up for it after the punch. Maybe it would be different the next time around. He gave the beer back and Ennis took it.

“So what’re you gonna do now?” Ennis asked, obviously still totally confused about the protocol of the situation.

“Anything I want to. My dad knows I’m not coming home till morning.” He met Ennis’s eyes in what he hoped was a bold and telling way, trying to signal with his own eyes what he wanted. He’d always heard that the eyes were the window to the soul, and everyone said he had real expressive eyes, and since there was no way he could come out and ask for what he wanted, he hoped this would be enough.

“Oh.” Ennis took another drink of the beer and then moved a couple of steps closer till they were almost touching. “You wanna get outta here for a while? Maybe go for a ride?”

Jack smiled and nodded, said “Sure,” and followed Ennis towards the door. So far his plan was working perfect.

FIVE

Ennis led the way out of the garage, not saying anything to his friends who were mostly shit-faced and would never know or care that he was gone unless he brought it to their attention. Something about the way Jack had looked at him had sent an odd quiver of hopeful lust shimmering through him, and so he wanted to get out of there as quickly and uneventfully as possible.

He’d parked his Jeep a long way away from the lake house where they were having their party because he didn’t want to take a chance on getting hemmed in and trapped. Jack tromped along beside him in the damp grass, his white shirt untucked, the tails ruffling just at the edge of Ennis’s eyesight. He’d been wearing a jacket and nice shoes at the dance, but the jacket was gone and he was wearing tennis shoes now. Ennis wanted to take him somewhere and get him naked. The moon was huge and bright, shining down on them like a nighttime sun. Ennis hoped that somehow that might help his chances, since he’d always heard folks did strange and unusual things during full moons.

SIX

Jack wasn’t sure how far his liquid courage could take him. He’d only had two cups of punch, after all. What he wanted to do was actually more of a four cup event, at a minimum. He was glad when, once Ennis got them on the road, he pulled a bottle from beneath the seat of his Jeep. “Wanna hit of this? It’s real smooth, won’t make you sick if you just take little sips.”

“Sure,” Jack said and tipped the bottle just enough to get the flavor on his lips for an experimental taste. It was warm and tingly with just a hint of spice, and he tipped it up again and let a little bit flow onto his tongue. It tasted good, and he could feel it all through his body, like bravery.

“Where do you wanna go?” Ennis asked, after he took a sip of his own, then put the lid back on and stowed it between them. “You hungry?”

“Not really. And I don’t think we should go back to town.” Jack didn’t want to take any chances on their time alone getting interrupted, which it would if any of their friends saw them out together.

“Yeah, probably not,” Ennis agreed, which made Jack really happy because it meant they were on the same page, at least about something. Ennis kept driving even though they had no destination in mind, sticking to the back roads where it felt like they were the only people in the world. Jack was fine with that. The radio was on a country music station and Ennis turned the song up and started singing along and for the moment, it didn’t seem to matter where they went. The fact that they were alone for the first time in months was enough.

SEVEN

There were only so many places to go at two in the morning. Nothing could happen as long as they were driving, and Ennis wanted to at least give himself a chance to get lucky. The whiskey might help them both, but he doubted Jack would just up and decide to give him road head after a couple of sips. He wanted way more than that anyway. They needed a place to chill, and after a few minutes of scouring his brain for good parking spots that wouldn’t reek of weirdness, Ennis finally hit on an idea.

keep reading: http://sienata.livejournal.com/204099.html

Feels Like Forever, Part Two

2014-04-19T01:27:30Z

FEELS LIKE FOREVER, PART TWO

Ennis led the way out of the garage, not saying anything to his friends who were mostly shit-faced and would never know or care that he was gone unless he brought it to their attention. Something about the way Jack had looked at him had sent an odd quiver of hopeful lust shimmering through him, and so he wanted to get out of there as quickly and uneventfully as possible.

He’d parked his Jeep a long way away from the lake house where they were having their party because he didn’t want to take a chance on getting hemmed in and trapped. Jack tromped along beside him in the damp grass, his white shirt untucked, the tails ruffling just at the edge of Ennis’s eyesight. He’d been wearing a jacket and nice shoes at the dance, but the jacket was gone and he was wearing tennis shoes now. Ennis wanted to take him somewhere and get him naked. The moon was huge and bright, shining down on them like a nighttime sun. Ennis hoped that somehow that might help his chances, since he’d always heard folks did strange and unusual things during full moons.

*****

Jack wasn’t sure how far his liquid courage could take him. He’d only had two cups of punch, after all. What he wanted to do was actually more of a four cup event, at a minimum. He was glad when, once Ennis got them on the road, he pulled a bottle from beneath the seat of his Jeep. “Wanna hit of this? It’s real smooth, won’t make you sick if you just take little sips.”

“Sure,” Jack said and tipped the bottle just enough to get the flavor on his lips for an experimental taste. It was warm and tingly with just a hint of spice, and he tipped it up again and let a little bit flow onto his tongue. It tasted good, and he could feel it all through his body, like bravery.

“Where do you wanna go?” Ennis asked, after he took a sip of his own, then put the lid back on and stowed it between them. “You hungry?”

“Not really. And I don’t think we should go back to town.” Jack didn’t want to take any chances on their time alone getting interrupted, which it would if any of their friends saw them out together.

“Yeah, probably not,” Ennis agreed, which made Jack really happy because it meant they were on the same page, at least about something. Ennis kept driving even though they had no destination in mind, sticking to the back roads where it felt like they were the only people in the world. Jack was fine with that. The radio was on a country music station and Ennis turned the song up and started singing along and for the moment, it didn’t seem to matter where they went. The fact that they were alone for the first time in months was enough.

*****

There were only so many places to go at two in the morning. Nothing could happen as long as they were driving, and Ennis wanted to at least give himself a chance to get lucky. The whiskey might help them both, but he doubted Jack would just up and decide to give him road head after a couple of sips. He wanted way more than that anyway. They needed a place to chill, and after a few minutes of scouring his brain for good parking spots that wouldn’t reek of weirdness, Ennis finally hit on an idea.

*****

“Where are we?” Jack asked, looking around curiously as Ennis pulled into an almost hidden driveway only a few miles from the lake house and the party they’d left less than an hour ago.

“My uncle’s fish camp. It’s not fancy like the Warner’s place, but it’s cool. I come here a lot on the weekends, go fishing and stuff.” He parked and they got out. It was chilly but not too cold. Jack wished he had his jacket but he wasn’t about to complain.

“He doesn’t mind?” Jack asked, following him up a gravel path to the door. The house was small, green siding, lots of windows. Nothing fancy, but it was quiet and peaceful and if there was a bed in there, it was all good with him.

“No. He said as long as he can’t tell I’ve been here and I don’t do anything too illegal, it’s ok.” Ennis held up the whiskey he’d brought from his Jeep. “He and my dad did everything when they were teenagers, so they don’t give us too much shit as long as we stay outta jail and the hospital.”

“Huh. That’s cool,” Jack said, unable to even wrap his brain around that kind of freedom. “My dad… well, you can imagine.”

“Yeah.” Ennis pulled a key out of the shadows and opened the door. “Guess he’s pretty hard to keep happy, huh?”

“He’s not that bad all the time, but he’s been pretty freaked about tonight. He was tweaking about me staying out all night, especially since I brought Lindsey, but I told him we’re just friends and that she was going home with her girlfriends once the party wound down anyway.” He leaned against the kitchen counter while Ennis got busy fixing drinks. “And since her folks were okay with it, there wasn’t much he could say.”

“Guess not.” Ennis flicked a switch on the wall and a couple of lamps came on at either end of a big couch. There was a recliner and a T.V. and all kinds of stuff hanging on the wall, including deer heads and other hunting trophies. Jack had never shot a gun and even though he didn’t want to go hunting, he’d like to learn to shoot. Maybe Ennis wouldn’t mind teaching him. That would be something cool they could do together, even if they never got past being friends.

Ennis filled two tall glasses with ice, then poured the coke in slowly so it wouldn’t foam up. He added in a couple dollops of the whiskey and handed Jack a glass. “That ok?”

Jack took a sip. He could taste the bite of the liquor, but it was good, not too strong, just right. “Yeah. Thanks.”

Ennis smiled. “Ok. Let’s go check out the lake.”

They went out the back door and down some steps, then followed another gravel path through the yard. There were trees all around the yard, as well as other things, bird baths and a wooden swing and pots with late season flowers. It was a comfortable place and Jack felt good there. Regardless of how the night turned out, he definitely hoped he got to come back.

Ennis led him down to a short dock. They walked out to the end and sat down, their feet dangling above the water. The wind was brisker and Jack shivered a little. Since he didn’t have any other way to stay warm, he shifted closer to Ennis.

“You cold?” Ennis asked, closing the distance between them a little more, so that their shoulders were snug.

“A little, but it’s ok. This is cool. I’ve only been out to the lake a couple of times. You said you come out here a lot?”

“Yeah, whenever I’ve got some free time on the weekend.”

“Who comes with you?” What Jack wanted to know was if he brought girls out there, but he wasn’t sure how to ask that without sounding weird, so he went with generic. If Ennis did bring girls, he probably wouldn’t skip out on an opportunity to brag about it.

“Nobody usually. Guess my cousins are tired of it – they’ve been coming out here for years. I like it, though. We lived in town back in Atlanta and I didn’t have any place like this to go, so I come out here every chance I get.”

“You’re glad y’all moved back here?” Jack asked, taking a sip of his drink.

Ennis looked at Jack and smiled. “Yeah. I miss my friends back home and it woulda been sweet to play baseball there my senior year, but I’m not gonna play in college anyway, so it doesn’t really matter.”

“Are you gonna try out for our team?” Jack asked, taking a sip of his drink.

“I dunno…” Ennis said, staring off across the lake, but it was almost like he was looking way further than that, maybe even off into the future. “It’s not a big deal to me here like it would’ve been there. I’m thinking more about college now. High school’s kinda over for me.”

“I know what you mean. I mean, we’ve still gotta get good grades and stuff, but I’m not really into the whole big thing about senior year. It’s not like sacred to me or anything.” Jack took another sip of his drink, searching for lights across the water. “My dad’ll probably get promoted to another church after I graduate, so when I go home, I won’t even be coming to this town. I’ll probably never even see most of these people again.”

“Are you and Cody gonna room together at college?”

“We’ve talked about it, but I don’t think so. He wants to be a vet. He’s pretty much committed to U.G. and I don’t wanna go there.”

“Where are you going?”

“I haven’t decided yet. I’m thinking about Auburn.”

“I thought about there too, but it’s so close. I wanna get further away from here.”

“How come? You don’t get along with your folks or something?”

“No, it’s not that. But my dad, he’s always up in my business, trying to tell me what he thinks I oughta do with my life and stuff, and maybe that’s not what I want to do, you know? I figure if I put a few hours between us, I’ll have a better chance of figuring shit out on my own.”

“Yeah, I can see that. My dad’s all up in my shit too, but I guess he has to be, seeing as how he’s a preacher and all. It’s his job to tell people what to think and how to live.”

Ennis shook his head. “That’s gotta get old.”

“It does. It’s like, no matter what I do, I’m never gonna measure up. I mean, I love him and he’s been great since my mom died, but sometimes I wish I could just disappear once I leave for school.”

“Me too,” Ennis nodded

“So have you picked where you’re gonna go yet?” Jack asked, ready to put the spotlight back on Ennis for a while.

“I’m almost a hundred percent sure I’m going to U.F. They have a really good engineering program.”

“Do you know anybody who’s going there?”

“No. But that’s ok. I really just wanna do my own thing, you know?”

“Yeah, I know.” Jack shook his glass, rattled the ice that was about all he had left. He hadn’t even realized he was drinking and it was all gone. “I actually thought about going there too. I’m thinking of doing something in the medical field. Maybe radiology or anesthesiology. They’ve got really good programs there.”

Ennis smiled. “That’d be cool if you decided to go there too. It’d be nice to have at least one person I knew there, as long as you don’t spy on my for the ‘rents!”

Jack grinned big. “Secrecy pact!” he said and held up his fist, which Ennis bumped immediately.

“For sure!” He drained his glass and looked down at Jack’s. “If you wanna just hang out, we can have another, or I can take you to Cody’s house or wherever you wanna go.”

“What are you gonna do?” Jack asked. He didn’t want to go anywhere, but he didn’t want Ennis to feel like he was stuck with him if he didn’t want to be.

Ennis rocked back on the dock, surveying his little kingdom serenely. “I’m good with just staying here till morning. We can drink all we want, sleep late, and there’s stuff in the fridge to make breakfast with. But it’s whatever you wanna do. I’m cool with whatever.”

Jack’s whole body hummed with want as he looked at Ennis lounging beside him, elbows on the dock, stretched out long and lean and lazy. Jack wanted to crawl on him and make out for about ten hours, but he was pretty sure Ennis wasn’t offering anything like that. But he was offering a bed and breakfast, and as far as consolation prizes went, that wasn’t half bad.

“That sounds good to me. Can I text my dad and tell him where I am?”

“Sure. You want another drink?”

“Yeah, and a jacket if you’ve got one. I’m freezing!”

Ennis laughed at him but said, “Sure, dude, come on,” and they made their way back up the dock and the path to the house. Jack texted his dad that he was with Ennis del Mar at his uncle’s cabin on the lake and they were spending the night there and no, his uncle didn’t care, and he got a text back about three seconds later saying, “Ok. Be safe. Love you.” For some stupid reason, probably the booze, Jack got that stingy feeling in his eyes like when he was going to cry, but he blinked it away and then Ennis made some dumb joke about frogs and the moment passed.

Ennis fixed them more drinks and grabbed a bag of potato chips and they went out to the screened-in porch. Instead of finding Jack a jacket, he turned the propane heater on and it hummed to life and started warming things up nicely. They plonked down on a long wicker couch covered with a quilt and put their drinks and the chips on the wicker coffee table. There were a couple of matching chairs across from the couch and wind chimes tinkling in the breeze. The moon shone in brightly, and above the sound of the wind chimes Jack could hear the lake lapping at the shore. It was quite and secluded and perfectly peaceful. He still wondered if Ennis ever brought girls here. It would be such an awesome make-out spot.

“This place is awesome. It’d be the perfect place to bring a girl.”

“Yeah, I know. Carter and Wade bring girls out here sometimes, but not me. I like to come out here to get away from folks.” He looked over at Jack, seemed to realize he wasn’t sounding very welcoming. “It’s good with you though. If you wanna come back, just say the word, ok?”

Jack was pretty sure he meant it, but he poked at it a little, just in case. This was too important to screw up. “It’s ok, man. You don’t hafta say that. I’m just glad you brought me tonight. I was ready to ditch the party, but I never get to stay out, you know, so I didn’t want to go home on my one free pass.”

Ennis nodded. “Yeah, I know what you mean.” He bumped his knee into Jack’s and looked him in the eye. “But I’m serious, Jack, about you coming out here with me. I would’ve asked you before, but seems like you’re always busy with your friends and stuff. I think it’d be really cool, hanging out here with you.”

“Yeah, ok, I’d like that too,” Jack said, and the last little bit of tension in the air seemed to dissolve after that and they sipped their drinks in easy silence for a minute. The night seemed ripe with something Jack had never sensed before and his body tingled hopefully.

“So how come you didn’t want to date her?” Ennis asked, and it was so out of the blue that Jack was confused.

“Huh?” he asked, looking stupidly at Ennis, and Ennis grinned and nudged him.

“Lindsey. She’s real pretty. How come you didn’t want to date her?”

Jack shrugged, wishing he could answer with the truth but still too afraid for that, so he went with his standard line. “I didn’t wanna take a chance on doing something to get my dad more freaked out than he already is. And it’s not like I was dying to date her or anything like that anyway, which is good, I guess, since she likes Justin. I just think I’m better off waiting till I get out of his house before I do anything he wouldn’t like.”

“You mean, to…” he said, arching his eyebrows and making a face that didn’t actually say fuck but conveyed the idea of the act perfectly.

Jack nodded and Ennis sighed. “Yeah, I guess. So you’ve never…?” He made that face again and Jack shook his head.

“Nope.” He felt lame, but not because he’d never slept with a girl. He’d never wanted to sleep with a girl. There were things he did want to do, though, and he’d never gotten a chance to do any of them and that was what really sucked.

Ennis must’ve sensed his feelings of inadequacy, because he said, “I’ve slept with a coupla girls and it’s cool and all, but it’s not really that big a deal. You’re not missing out on anything that awesome.”

“That’s not what Cody and Hunter say. They say it’s the greatest thing ever.”

“Hmmm. Well, I mean, getting off is always cool,” he shrugged, “but I don’t know… I just didn’t think it was that great. I haven’t done it in a while…” He said the words slow and shy, like he was confessing something either really wrong or really important. Jack leaned forward to get his drink off the table, eased a little closer to Ennis when he sat back. Their shoulders and arms slid together like when they were out on the dock and he could feel Ennis’s heat warming him.

“You don’t miss it?” he asked, turning so that he could see Ennis’s face when he answered, wishing like crazy that he could see inside to what he was really thinking.

Ennis turned too so that they were eye to eye, only a very small space between them. A long minute passed as they stared at each other, Ennis solemn and still and searching for something in his eyes that he must’ve found at last because finally he said, “I’ll tell you something, but it’s a secret, and even if you hate me for it, I need you to keep it, ‘cause my dad’ll kill me if he finds out.”

Jack’s heart went straight into overdrive, because Ennis’s leg was pressing harder against his, and he’d never been this close to a boy before since he was a little kid, and Ennis was about to tell him a secret. Even if it wasn’t the secret he secretly wanted to hear, this was a step in the right direction. “Okay,” he whispered, leaning even closer.

“Promise? Even if it’s bad?”

“Yes.”

“The reason I don’t like sex with girls is ‘cause I don’t like girls that way.” They stared at each, breathed. Neither moved. “I like guys, Jack. I’m pretty sure I’m gay.”

Everything welled up in him in that instant, all his dreams and fantasies and long put-off needs, and it might not’ve been meant as permission or an invitation, but Jack didn’t care. It was an opening he’d only dreamed of before, and he had no words to answer with, just a kiss he’d been saving for Ennis ever since their weeks together in that dorm room in south Alabama.

*****

Ennis had about two seconds to register what was going on before Jack’s mouth was on his and they were kissing and his brain went to that crazy place where there were no thoughts, only feelings. He wrapped his arms around Jack and held on tight, opening his mouth and giving Jack free rein to explore at will, tasting him as their tongues played, knowing instantly that nothing would ever be so sweet again as making out with this boy/man that he loved.

They kissed for a while, Jack so eager that he finally climbed onto Ennis, straddling his lap, rocking and thrusting his hips with need. Ennis slipped his hands down Jack’s back, the cotton of his shirt damp with sweat and excitement. When he got to his ass, he slowed down, but Jack didn’t give any sign that he wanted him to stop, so Ennis slid his hands down to cup his cheeks and squeeze. Jack gasped and moaned into his mouth.

“Jesus, Ennis… it feels so good….” he panted, pulling away from the kiss at last.

“Yeah, I know,” Ennis answered back, breathless himself. “I knew it would. I’ve wanted to do this with you forever,” he confessed.

“Really?” Jack sounded surprised.

“Yeah.”

“This summer?” Jack touched his face, ran his finger over his jaw gently, like he was afraid if he touched too much he might push him away, but that would never happen.

“Yeah.”

Jack smiled, the corners of his mouth crooking up adorably. “Me too.”

“Damn! I wish I’d known. We’ve wasted so much time,” Ennis groaned, pulling him back down for another kiss, angling his hips differently so that they rubbed together there for the first time.

“Ohhhhhhhh…….” Jack pumped harder, but he couldn’t get close enough to touch where they needed to touch and Ennis suddenly couldn’t wait any longer. He pushed Jack sideways and followed him down onto the couch, lying flush on top of him, grinding with his hips as his lips sought and found Jack’s mouth for another wet, messy kiss.

“Oh God!” Jack grunted and bucked furiously underneath him.

“It’s good, isn’t it?” Ennis pulled his hips back to slow things down, latched his lips on Jack’s neck.

“I’m gonna come!” Jack told him in answer.

“Don’t you wanna do more stuff first?”

Jack got still. Ennis could imagine what he was thinking. “Not that! But I wanna see you, and touch you, if it’s okay…” he whispered, cupping the front of Jack’s khakis, feeling the hard length of him burning through the material, leaving a damp spot under his palm.

“Yeah, okay,” Jack gasped, bucking against his hand, and Ennis knew how urgent he was feeling because he couldn’t imagine how he’d survive if Jack touched him at that moment. He was already right on the knife edge of exploding.

Ennis gave him a push and Jack scooted up till he was sitting propped against the arm of the couch. Ennis went the other way, sliding down Jack’s body till he got settled between his legs. He pressed his lips against the bulge he’d just touched and Jack moaned hoarsely. He mouthed the tip of it and Jack whimpered. So far, so good.

Ennis swallowed down the last of his nerves as he reached for the button that was keeping him out. Wanting to do something, dreaming about it and jacking off to fantasies of it was one thing, but this was the real deal. Jack was hot and alive beneath him, and as he slowly unzipped his fly, he knew it was do or die time. He flipped back the tan fabric, was faced with Jack’s erection trapped in his white underpants, and he lowered his face and nuzzled it, rubbed his nose and lips down the length, breathing him in, tasting the salty dampness at the tip.

“Ennis…. please…. do something,” Jack breathed, touching his fingers to Ennis’s head tentatively, ruffling his hair.

“Raise your butt,” Ennis told him, and when Jack did, he took a fortifying breath and eased his boy’s pants and underwear down to his knees. His dick popped out, hard and swollen, and even though Ennis couldn’t really see color in the moonlight, it was dark and angry looking. He stuck his tongue out and touched it, flicked the head nervously.

“Oh God,” Jack moaned and Ennis agreed as he closed his eyes and closed his lips around that hot, red tip, slipping his tongue over it for the first time, feeling Jack’s hands go from tentative to sure in his hair as they held on tight.

Lightening didn’t come out of nowhere and strike them dead, so after a few seconds he opened his mouth wider and slid it down the hard column of flesh, tasting Jack in this new place and loving it just as much as he did his mouth. He slid his hands up Jack’s thighs, the muscles and the roughness of his hair exciting him, making him suck harder. “Ohhhh….” Jack moaned again, pushing him down even further on his dick. Ennis gagged a little and pulled back, trying to breathe and keep his teeth out of it as he bobbed his head, but Jack was in heaven and didn’t seem to mind the occasional scrape.

“It’s good, Ennis…” he whispered, encouraging, and Ennis stopped bobbing and started sucking on his smooth, round tip, rubbing his lips all over it, teasing the slit and tracing the perfect shape of it with his tongue till Jack was panting and making sounds Ennis had never heard before.

After a few minutes of that joy, Jack begged, “Suck me some more, please,” and Ennis knew they were both done with teasing. His own cock was ready to go off without even getting out of his pants.

“Okay,” he said, then took Jack’s cock in as far as he could, hummed as he slid his lips up and down and Jack was there in an instant, chanting “Oh God! Oh shit! Jesus!” as his hips pumped and he filled Ennis’s mouth with the warm, salty spurt of his come. Ennis swallowed as fast as he could, trying not to choke or kill Jack with his teeth. Even though he’d expected this, there was no way to really prepare for that kind of explosion in your mouth without some experience. He’d do better next time, he promised himself as he took another gulp.

If there was a next time. If Jack didn’t freak out and run home, confess to his dad and pray for forgiveness and get Ennis stoned. Ennis didn’t think that was going to happen. Jack had made the first move, after all, had kissed him and then crawled in his lap and there hadn’t been any doubt in Ennis’s mind what he’d wanted right then. Still, he knew there was a chance that Jack might regret everything as soon as they were done.

Ennis hoped not though, because he really liked Jack and had missed him so much ever since the end of their summer mission trip. He’d wanted to keep their friendship going once they got back home, but Jack lived in a whole different world from him and he just couldn’t figure out how to make it happen. Now this had happened and he hoped desperately that this was going to be the beginning of something new and wonderful, but that might not be what Jack wanted at all.

As he swallowed the last little burst of come, he realized with a tremor of nervous anticipation that his whole future happiness depended on what happened with this boy in the next few minutes.

Ennis’s dick was about to explode in his jeans. As much as he wanted to find out where Jack was at with this in his head, he also wanted to get off with Jack at least one time, and once they started talking, weirdness might very well take over and make him miss his chance. His mouth made a little popping noise when Jack’s cock came out and Ennis took a few seconds to look at it, still shiny with his spit, lying there on Jack’s belly, half-hard and perfect. His dick ached with need and looking at Jack’s just made it worse. He needed to do something now.

Ennis looked up, followed the trail of white buttons up to Jack’s face, and felt a huge burst of relief when all he saw was a lazy, satisfied smile. If Jack was nervous or having second thoughts, he was keeping it hidden. He looked happy and content and Ennis wanted to memorize his face in that moment and keep the picture in his mind forever.

Jack trailed one finger over Ennis’s bottom lip. “That was awesome.”

Ennis had never been praised for his performance in bed before and he blushed. “Thanks.”

“What about you? Did you finish yet?” Jack asked, his voice soft and quiet, barely more than a whisper.

Ennis shook his head. “Not yet.”

“Don’t you want to?” His smile slipped and he looked confused and a little worried.

“Yeah, course I do.” Ennis flexed his hips, ground his dick into Jack’s leg and grimaced.

Jack seemed to catch on at last because he took Ennis by the arms and pulled him up till they were face to face. “What’s it taste like?” Jack asked, curious, eyes on Ennis’s mouth.

“It’s not bad. You wanna try it?”

“I wanna taste it here first,” he said, then pulled Ennis down for a kiss that was almost his undoing. Having Jack underneath him with his legs spread and his dick out and his tongue in Ennis’s mouth, taking a taste of his own come… well, it was almost too much for Ennis to bear. Thankfully, after about a minute, he felt Jack’s fingers inching around to his belt buckle, and a few seconds later he felt pressure, then air, then those long, seeking fingers were pulling him out and stroking him gently. Ennis trembled and tried to stay focused on the kiss, hoping if he didn’t think about what was going on down south he might last for a few extra seconds.

“You’re big, Ennis,” was the first thing Jack said when Ennis pulled his mouth away so they could breathe. Ennis pushed up and they both looked down at his cock, which did look big in Jack’s hand but Ennis was pretty sure he wasn’t much bigger than Jack. A burble of white popped out of the tip. Jack grinned and stroked him harder and Ennis groaned and pushed into it, already hanging on the edge. Some more spurted out and Jack swiped a finger through the spill and tasted it, looking up at Ennis through long, lush lashes as he touched his finger to his tongue. That was all the eye porn Ennis could take. He gave up trying to make it last, just swooped down for another come-flavored kiss as the familiar rush of sweet-hot ecstasy poured over him and he came hard and fast in Jack’s hand.

*****

They kissed for a while, even after both of them had gone soft and Ennis’s come was getting dry and sticky where it had spurted on Jack’s belly. Jack wasn’t sure what was supposed to happen next. He’d never gotten this far with a girl before, and even though everything about being with Ennis was different from being with a girl, maybe the after part was supposed to be the same. But since he didn’t know about that with a girl, he sure didn’t know how to improvise with a boy. Maybe they could just kiss till they passed out or something. But that would just be putting off the awkwardness till morning.

Finally Ennis quit kissing him, but instead of getting up, he just made himself comfortable, like Jack was his own personal couch. Jack liked that, except for how his pants were down around his knees and he really wanted to be laying down too instead of propped up against the end of the couch getting a neck cramp. He squirmed around for a minute and Ennis must’ve finally gotten the message because he raised up and said, “You wanna go get in bed? There’s twin beds in the room I sleep in, but we can push them together if you want to.”

Ennis looked carefully hopeful and Jack breathed a huge sigh of relief. “Yeah, that’d be awesome.”

Ennis nodded. “Ok, cool.” He peeled himself off Jack and stood up, making no secret of the fact that he was checking him out while he zipped up his own pants. Jack blushed, embarrassed but thrilled that Ennis wasn’t running and hiding from what they’d just done. Just the opposite, actually, considering his offer to push the beds together.

Ennis reached a hand out and helped Jack up, then gathered up their glasses and the uneaten chips while Jack got his pants back in place. Once he was ready, they stumbled into the house, sleepy and maybe a little bit tipsy. Ennis dumped their stuff in the kitchen, shut off the lights and locked the front door, then led Jack through the darkness towards the bedrooms.

“The bathroom’s here,” he said, stopping to flip on the light on a room off the hallway. “There’s about a million toothbrushes in the cabinet. Help yourself. My aunt works in a dentist’s office, so she’s pretty anal about everybody brushing their teeth.”

“Ok, thanks,” Jack said. He took a leak, then brushed his teeth and washed his hands and his face. He combed his wet fingers through his hair, making it stand up kind of crazy on his head, but that wasn’t that far off from his usual bedhead style, and Ennis probably didn’t care anyway, so he left it.

Ennis took his place in the bathroom when Jack came out, and Jack went to the bedroom. The beds were pushed together just like Ennis had promised, and there was even a quilt lying on top of the mattresses so they wouldn’t fall in the crack. Jack could hardly believe his night was ending up like this, when only that morning he’d been freaking out about what he was going to do if Lindsey tried to turn their friend date into a real one. Now he was about to get to sleep with the boy of his secret dreams.

They’d made out on the couch and it had felt about a thousand times better than anything he’d ever done with a girl, and what was even better was that they were back to being friends again too. Before tonight, if he’d had to tell the truth about what he wanted most with Ennis, he would’ve probably said he wanted a chance to make out with him. But now that he’d gotten both, he knew that one without the other would never satisfy him. Being just friends with Ennis would’ve been really hard to handle, but being fuck buddies only, or just getting a one-time opportunity… that would’ve been even worse.

But none of that had happened. Instead, they were about to get into bed together, and Jack was pretty sure they’d mess up the sheets a few more times before morning, when they’d make breakfast and hang out some more before locking up and going back to their separate lives.

Only their lives weren't going to stay separate like they had after they parted company back in the summer. Tonight they’d talked about the future, about coming out here again and maybe even going to the same college next fall. Jack hadn’t committed to a school yet, and even though he wasn’t about to jump to any decisions just because of one night with Ennis, it was definitely something to think about.

Jack knew that college would open up a whole new world for both of them and even if they did end up going to the same school, nothing was guaranteed. Anything could happen, bad things included. He also knew that first loves almost never worked out, but there was a romantic streak in his soul insisting that sometimes they did. It sure wouldn’t happen if they didn’t give it a chance. What he had with Ennis was still brand new, but it felt good and it felt right, and who knew… maybe it even felt like forever.

Feels Like Forever, Part One

2014-04-19T01:25:31Z

Feels Like Forever

Ennis' Story

I’m in love with Jack Twist.

He doesn’t know it, of course. Like, how in the hell could I possibly ever let him know that? He’s the nicest guy in school; I don’t think he even has sex with girls, so I can just imagine what he’d say if he knew what I wanted to do with him. I bet he’d blush like crazy. Hell… he’d probably freak out and never speak to me again. His daddy’s a preacher, after all, so I bet he thinks all that stuff is a sin. Me, I don’t think so. I think killing people’s a sin, and hating on folks ‘cause they’re different, and doing things that hurt people for no reason… those are the kinda things that I think are sins. Sex with someone you love shouldn’t be a sin, no matter if it’s a boy or a girl. I mean, what difference does that make anyway?

Last Sunday’s sermon was about how the God-fearing Christians should all unite and take a stand against gay marriage ‘cause it’s an abomination. I was sitting just a few feet down the pew from Jack, us and all the other teenagers, and right in the middle of his dad’s big freak out against gay shit, I dropped my bulletin on purpose. When I leaned down to get it, I took a quick look at his face to see if maybe I could tell what he was thinking, but I couldn’t. He had this real peaceful, almost angelic, expression on his face, like he was totally fascinated by what his dad was saying, but I’ve seen that same look on his face in history class too and he hates that class, so who knows?

High school’s almost over now. Well, not really, it’s only October, but we’re seniors now and once we’re done with this year, we’re done. We’re both gonna be going away to college this fall and I don’t know where he’s going but chances are it’s not the same place as me, so I’ll probably never see him again. It’s looking like I’ll never get another chance to talk to him again and find out what he thinks about anything important. Even worse, I’ll never get to find out what it’d be like to kiss those lips of his or touch his body, something I’ve been wanting to do ever since this past summer when we shared a room down in Louisiana and he made me fall in love.

Jack's Story

I’m in love with Ennis del Mar.

Nobody knows. Oh my God… my dad would throw a shit fit that would never stop if he knew. He thinks being queer is just one step above being a child molester. He talks about it all the time, even at home when he isn’t even doing church stuff. If anything comes on the T.V. about it, he starts going off about how all the homosexuals are going to hell if they don’t repent and get right with God and start fucking women. Ok, he doesn’t really say “fucking women,” of course. He says, “Put their unnatural desires behind them and pursue normal relations.”

Whatever. He’s insane, I’m pretty sure, at least about that particular topic. It makes me wonder if maybe he’s hiding something, if maybe he has a few secret unnatural desires of his own that he’s trying to stamp out. You know what they say about folks protesting too much and all that. He never dates. My mom died six years ago and I’m pretty sure he’s never even touched another woman since then. I guess he just does it himself, which is totally disgusting to think about, but he’s only forty-three. I know guys still have sex when they’re forty-three. Look at all the old guys out in Hollywood having babies when they’re in their sixties and seventies. So surely guys in their forties still want to have sex.

I mean, I really hope they do. I haven’t even had sex yet and I’m almost eighteen. It would suck to only get to have it – or at least want it and like it – for twenty or twenty-five years. It seems like I’ve been waiting a hundred years for it already. I wanna do it till I’m too old and gross for anybody to wanna do it with me anymore. Then I guess I’ll go back to doing it by myself, which is what I do now and which I’m getting really sick of, especially since I’ve got a major boner for Ennis.

That started a few months ago when a group of us from the church went down to south Alabama to help rebuild some houses after a real bad bunch of tornados went through. We were there for three weeks and me and Ennis ended up being roommates. His family had just moved here from Atlanta in the spring, so I didn’t know him that well yet, had just seen him in Sunday school and at a few youth meetings. He seemed nice enough though, and I’d totally noticed how hot he was, but back then I was still trying not to think about that kinda thing since there wasn’t shit I could do about it. So that first week, it was real casual and basic, just us talking about sports and T.V. shows and video games we liked. We didn’t spend that much time in our room anyway, so that was about all we had time for before we went to sleep.

By the second week, though, it got more personal. We talked about colleges we were interested in and how we couldn’t wait to get outta our parents’ houses. Ennis talked about his friends at his old school and told me some of the crazy shit they’d done. We figured out we liked some of the same books and movies – I was surprised to find out he liked to read, ‘cause he didn’t come across as that sorta guy at school, but I guess we all have our secrets. Even though Ennis is way more of a wild man than me, we ended up hitting it off pretty good, good enough so that even though we were tired we’d stay up after lights-out most nights, still talking.

The third week, I realized I didn’t want to spend any of my free time hanging out with any of the other kids, not even my two best friends who were also there and sharing a room down the hall. I just wanted to stay in our room as much as possible and talk and play cards and watch T.V. on Ennis’s laptop. And look at him. That became my favorite pastime that last week we were there. Ennis always got up first and took his shower; I hate getting up early and so he always let me sleep till he was done, then woke me up so I could hurry and get ready to go.

That last week, no matter how dead asleep I was, I always woke up when his alarm went off and was awake when he came out of the bathroom to get dressed. Every morning I watched him standing at the end of my bed naked, drying the last of the water drops off his body before he got his underwear out of the drawer and pulled it on.

It’s not like I never got to look at naked boys. I’m on the football team and we undress and shower together every day. But I never looked at any of them like I looked at Ennis. He’s tall and kinda thin, but he’s real toned and strong looking. He’d told me about playing baseball at his old school and his body showed it. After working all those weeks in shorts and no shirt, he had a real good tan everywhere but on his butt and upper thighs. I was totally fascinated with that pale skin and there was nothing I wanted more than to touch it and taste him there. Some days I could see his dick, and even though it wasn’t huge or hard, it still turned me on like crazy. Just seeing it there in the dimness of the early morning, in our dorm room – our room – with no one else around… it just seemed like it would be the most natural thing in the world for him to come climb into bed with me and for us to make love.

He never did anything like that though, of course. He’d always pull on his jeans, then come wake me up. I’d pretend like I was asleep, let him get up close, touch my shoulder and jostle me and say, “Jack… Jack… You gotta get up and get ready. It’s almost time to go.” Finally I’d yawn and stretch and mumble “Ok,” then wait for him to move away before I got up and hurried into the bathroom, hoping he wouldn’t notice how hard I was. That last week I jacked off every morning in the shower and again every night in bed after he went to sleep, just listening to him breathe. I didn’t have any lube or lotion or anything and even though I used some spit, my dick was still sore as shit by the time we came home. It was worth it though.

After we got back home from our Outreach Trip, life went back to normal for the rest of the summer. I was disappointed because I’d kinda hoped maybe me and Ennis would start hanging out more, but he got a job and I had one too, and on the weekends he hung out with his cousins, who’d lived in town forever and knew everybody, and I went back to hanging out with my regular crowd. Me and my friends went to movies and bowled and had video game marathons. We never went muddin’ or raced our cars or smoked weed. Compared to him and his friends, we had to seem like the most boring kids on the planet.

Nothing’s changed now that school’s started up except that I get to see him more. He always smiles at me real friendly, but everybody’s all cliqued-up at our school so we might as well be in different time zones for all we get to hang out. Besides, I’ve got football practice every day and homework and my job on Saturdays, so it’s not like I have a lot of spare time to do extra stuff. Usually I only end up seeing him for little bits of time between classes and then on Sunday’s at church. We say hi and shoot the shit whenever we get the chance, but it’s not nearly enough. Even if we’re never gonna be more than friends, which I realize is my only true option with him, I’d like to at least have that, but I’m just not sure how to break the ice. Back when we were roommates, it just happened because we had no choice. The whole world’s in the way now and I can just imagine what his friends would think if I invited him to go bowling or something stale like that. They’d bust something laughing at me.

On top of all that business, I’m angsting pretty hard about sex. I’m almost completely sure I’m the only virgin guy left in my class, definitely the only virgin senior on the football team, and that really sucks. Even the squeaky-clean nerdy guys are doing it with their squeaky-clean nerdy girlfriends. I’ve made out with a couple of girls at parties, just to see what it’s like and all, but that’s as far as it’s ever gone. The only reason the guys cut me slack is because they know that with my dad being a Baptist preacher at the biggest church in town, I hafta be a lot more careful than them.

At first, I felt like it was a big curse, being the preacher’s son, but now I kinda think of it as a blessing because it gives me a built-in excuse for not trying to get laid all the time. It doesn’t stop my guy friends from dreaming up these foolproof strategies where it can happen without my dad ever finding out, but so far they haven’t come up with anything I couldn’t poke holes in real easy. I can’t even imagine what a nightmare it would be if they ever figured out the truth about why I never try any harder to get with a girl. I’ve started telling them that since I’ve made it this long, I’m happy to just hang out till I get to college, that I don’t want to take a chance on upsetting my dad and embarrassing him in front of his parishioners, blah blah blah.

So far they seem to be buying it, but actually it’s a giant lie. Not the part about me not wanting to embarrass my dad – that part’s the total truth. Sometimes I wish I could clone myself and get a straight version of me who could take my place, who’d date girls and play college football and get married some day and have lots of grandkids. Then I could just go away and stay invisible and live my life and date guys and do what I want to do without my dad ever knowing about it and having to be disappointed and maybe even hate me.

The part about me being happy to wait is the giant lie. I’m not happy waiting even one more minute, but since there’s a million reasons why I can’t get with the person I want, I need my friends to go along with my story. I know for sure it’ll be enough to get me off the hook on homecoming night since I’m going with Lindsey Peterson, whose dad is the chief of police and a deacon in our church. Not a guy you wanna get in trouble with, for sure, so Lindsey and me are going just as friends and most everybody knows it. I think she might want it to be more, and I halfway thought about dating her for the rest of the year just to take the pressure off, but even if we take vows of chastity and everything else, I know it’ll get weird, so tonight’s just a one-time thing.

Last I heard, Ennis doesn’t have a date. I’d like to think that means something, but his crowd goes stag to things all the time so they can hit on lots of different girls. I never see him with a girl though, so maybe, you know… There’s a party after the dance and rumor is some of the guys are planning to sneak in some booze so the girls will get drunk and put out more. If my dad finds out, he’ll freak, but fuck it - I’m going anyway. It’s my senior year. I’ve lived my whole life for him. It’s about time I got to start living for me.

Their Story

The dance was just okay – nothing great. Ennis didn’t bring a girl, and when girls tried to get him out on the floor, he just shook his head and said he wasn’t into dancing. Jack didn’t dance either, and Ennis wasn’t sure if that was because he didn’t like to dance or because his dad was a preacher. In Footloose, the preacher dad had been all against dancing. Ennis wasn’t sure what Jack’s dad thought about it. Either way, Ennis was glad he didn’t dance because he didn’t want to have to watch him all hugged up with Lindsey. He was trying to keep his cool and not be jealous since he had no chance of ever dating Jack anyway and jealousy was such a bitch to deal with, but it was still hard to see him holding her hand and smiling at her.

Jack had the best smile. It lit up his whole face, made him look so happy that it made you feel good too, just getting to see it. Ennis remembered what it was like to see it close up back in the summer, when they’d sit on his bed watching episodes of Dexter until they couldn’t keep their eyes open another minute. Ennis used to hope that Jack would fall asleep for real, and that maybe they could end up sleeping in the same bed for the whole night, but that never happened.

The dance wasn’t his thing at all though, even without the added aggravation of seeing Jack with Lindsey, who he hadn’t even realized Jack liked until last week when he heard that she was Jack’s date for the dance. He was super glad when the guys were finally ready to leave for the lake house. Ennis wasn’t thrilled about the party, but there’d be beer and a pool table and places to hide when he needed to disappear for a few minutes, so it beat the school gym out by about a million.

Ennis had never told anyone why he didn’t date, not even his cousin Laura who was a real sweetheart and not judgmental at all. He kept his secret to himself, and even though some of the other guys gave him hell sometimes, called him a eunuch and crap like that, he didn’t let it get to him. He didn’t want to date and live a lie. He’d slept with a few girls and he didn’t want to do it anymore, so he wasn’t. That was his line in the sand and he could deal with the heat until he went off to college, at which point he wasn’t going to pretend anymore. He’d already found out that the school he’d picked out had an active LGBT community and he planned to look them up right away.

He felt bad for being glad that his school was so far away from his parents’ house, but he was. He planned to keep it from his folks as long as he could, wanted time to try things out for himself before he stepped off into it with no way back out. He knew there was a good chance the welcome mat would get yanked off the front door step permanently once this news got out, so he wanted to make damn sure of what he was doing before he let the cat out of the bag. It sucked thinking about having to make that choice, but Ennis didn’t want to live his whole life being miserable because he couldn’t be with who he wanted to be with. If it ended up that he had to choose, he was going to pick himself. At the end of the day, he was all he for-sure had anyway.

The boner that fired up in his jeans as soon as Jack Twist walked in, wearing a white oxford button down and a pair of soft, worn khakis, should’ve been enough to make Ennis sure. He didn’t figure any of the other guys were sporting sudden wood just because the cutest boy in school happened to walk into the room. But until he actually got skin to skin with another guy, there was always the chance that he was just dreaming. Before he turned his life completely upside down, he wanted – needed – to be sure.

*****

Jack drained his second cup of spiked punch and tossed the cup away. He was trying to go slow, since he almost never drank and had pretty much no tolerance for alcohol. It was two in the morning and most of the other kids had had several cups by then, plus Jack had seen some bottles of schnapps and wine getting passed around, and things were getting a little bit loud and crazy. Jack didn’t want to get stupid and pass out or throw up though. He just wanted to get brave, and two cups was enough for that.

His best friend Cody was making out with his girlfriend on the sofa, and Jack’s other friends were either dancing if their girlfriends were still around or playing beer pong if their girls had had to go home. Everyone looked happy. Jack wanted to be happy too, and he knew just who could make him feel that way. He headed for the garage, where there was loud music, a pool table and a cooler full of beer, and where he was pretty sure Ennis and his friends were camped out.

There was a girl talking to Ennis when he got there, but Ennis looked up and smiled at him as soon as he entered the room, which made Jack feel good, like maybe he’d been watching for him. At the very least, it looked like he was glad to see him. Jack got a beer from the cooler, hoped to God it wouldn’t push him over the edge and make him hurl, then started making his way towards Ennis. Ennis gave the girl his cue stick and pointed at the pool table. She looked confused, but was obviously drunk enough to go along with it.

“Hey. What’s up?” Ennis said as they closed the gap and got close enough to talk. “Where’s Lindsey?”

“She’s with some of her girlfriends. They’re all sleeping over at Jessica’s.” Jack popped the top on his beer and took a sip. It was cold, but it tasted like liquified wheat, ugh, and he passed it to Ennis, who took it with a confused grin.

“What’s up with that? I thought y’all were just telling her folks that so she could stay out all night.” He took a sip of the beer, and Jack got a tingle just watching him put his mouth where his had just been. He had a nice mouth with a sweet smile that Jack had grown to crave.

“Actually, she was. Turns out she’s got a big secret crush on Justin. She left with him. But you didn’t hear it from me.”

Ennis coughed and sputtered. “You looking for someone to help you kick his ass?”

“No man, I don’t care. I knew he kinda liked her when I asked her. I just didn’t know she liked him back. I’m cool with it.”

“For real?” Ennis seemed to be having a hard time grasping the concept.

“Yeah. For real. She and I just came as friends anyway,” Jack said pointedly, then took the beer back and had another sip, just to make sure he really didn’t like it. Guys were supposed to like beer, and he wanted to, but his stomach just wasn’t up for it after the punch. Maybe it would be different the next time around. He gave the beer back and Ennis took it.

“So what’re you gonna do now?” Ennis asked, obviously still totally confused about the protocol of the situation.

“Anything I want to. My dad knows I’m not coming home till morning.” He met Ennis’s eyes in what he hoped was a bold and telling way, trying to signal with his own eyes what he wanted. He’d always heard that the eyes were the window to the soul, and everyone said he had real expressive eyes, and since there was no way he could come out and ask for what he wanted, he hoped this would be enough.

“Oh.” Ennis took another drink of the beer and then moved a couple of steps closer till they were almost touching. “You wanna get outta here for a while? Maybe go for a ride?”

Jack smiled and nodded, said “Sure,” and followed Ennis towards the door. So far his plan was working perfect.

keep reading here: http://sienata.livejournal.com/203562.html

Beta help if you're in the mood... :-)

2014-04-19T01:23:40Z

I’ve been wanting to submit something to DSP for a while now, but my writing brain has been shut down until just a couple of months ago. Once I began to write again and felt confident that the muse wasn’t going to dry up on me overnight, I went to their site and checked out the calls for submission. I saw the following call and when I was browsing through my one-shots the other day, I saw this and thought, hmmm. The call is for stories from 3500-12000 words. This originally posted at 5100 words but I felt like I could fluff it up and make it better. Now it sits at about 10000 words. I think I’m satisfied with it but would like any thoughts or opinions you have, as well as a head’s up about any stray typos you might find if you’re in the mood to read a redo of yet another Teenaged Jack and Ennis Love Story.

It originally posted as “A Secret Kind of Love.” I’ve renamed it “Feels Like Forever.”
Here’s the link to the original post if you feel the need to compare anything. http://sienata.livejournal.com/167194.html

Here’s the Call copied from the DSP website.

First Time for Everything

The teen years are a time for firsts, and that’s especially true for LGBT youth. Whether it’s the first stirrings of attraction, a first crush, first date, first kiss, first love, the first day at school after coming out, or some other first—these are events that will never be forgotten and may shape the direction of a teen’s future.

Harmony Ink Press is looking for short stories (3,500 – 12,000 words) involving any kind of “first time” and how the character deals with it in a positive manner. Main characters should be 14 – 18 years old and can be gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or still in the process of working out their sexual/gender identity. Sexual content should be appropriate for the characters and the story. Manuscripts may contain any level of sexual content; however, excessive, crude, or extremely explicit descriptions will be rejected. Sex between a minor and an adult (whether consensual or abuse) will only be accepted if it is implied, off page, has realistic consequences, and overcoming the occurrence contributes to the growth of the character in a positive way.

start reading here: http://sienata.livejournal.com/203346.html

Hey Out There, and a JBG Link

2014-03-27T16:20:19Z

Hey y’all. I’ve been really quiet lately, at least on this journal, so I just wanted to stop in and say hi. There are two links at the bottom of the page if you want to skip my blah blah and go directly to them. One is to the story i'm currently revising and posting at my Whiskiegurl LJ and the other is to a JBG interview.

I equate Live Journal only with reading fanfic. I post about real life stuff on Facebook but I don’t post much about it here anymore, other than the post I made about my father passing away. I appreciated so much everyone’s sympathy and kind words during that time. It was very hard for me, but actually the hardest part was getting my mother through it, and I know I didn’t do that as well as I should’ve. Thankfully, we are almost six months on the other side of it now and she’s starting to sound like her normal self when I call her, a lightness I haven’t heard in her voice in about a year. It was about this time last year that he began the sudden nosedive into dementia and illness. I’m thankful it was quick. Once he got really bad off, he only had to endure for a few months before it was over. I’m not one who believes in the Biblical concepts of Heaven and Hell, but I do like to think there is more to our existence than just this, and I like to think of him out there somewhere resting easy and peaceful and gearing up for his next adventure. I miss him so much and I hope that he’ll be waiting for me when I leave this world.

In the meantime, I feel like my life is settling back down to a version of normal without him. My mom will be 80 in August, but she’s still independent and in pretty good health, overall. We went to NYC with Karla (the betababe) and her sister in February and had a great time. We are planning another vakay in late May, possibly to Maine.

I get to retire next January on my 50^th birthday. It’s still a ways away and I’m trying not to become insufferable yet!!! But I’m very excited and a little bit freaked at the same time. This time next year, I’ll be free (unless something awful happens) and I can’t even imagine what that will be like. I’ve been committed to something, either work or school and oftentimes both, since I was 6 years old. I am very lucky to get to retire at such a young age and I definitely plan to do things, not just sit around and eat bonbons till it’s time to die. But I’m just so delighted with the idea of being able to plan my life around what I want to do and need to do apart from work. My husband retired when he was 50 also, and it didn’t work out so great for him because he needs work to keep him busy, focused, mentally healthy, etc, but I don’t think that will be the case for me at all. I plan to do volunteer work and spend more time with my mother and also to spend more time with Jim’s family. We bought a tiny little house in South Mississippi so that we can spend time here without having to crash at someone else’s house, and we love it.

I also plan to spend more time writing. A few years back when I was in NY visiting Jill, we went to have our cards read. The cards indicated a time of distraction ahead for me, and that could not have been more accurate. I feel like I’m starting to get my brain back and I’m so thankful for that. I love writing and missed so much being immersed in the stories I was working on. That is my one most selfish hope for my retirement. That I’ll get to spend a lot of time writing!!

I’m working on a rewrite of my hookerfic from last year, Somewhere With You. I gave up doing the dual story, since – for me – J2 is fun to read but I can’t write it at all. Also, the original H/J version wasn’t working because I had my characters crossed up. For lots of reasons, I think the new version is much better. It’s mostly told from Heath’s POV but I’ve added in some of Jake’s as well, and I’ve gone back and filled out the story quite a bit. I’m reposting a chapter or two at a time and am up to Ch 9. I’ll post chapter 10 later today. I have new material written and am very pleased with my progress.

I love almost everything about JBG, but I especially love his voice. When I’m writing, I like to listen to him talk. Today I clicked on this interview on YouTube and loved it!!! It’s fun and funny and JBG is awesome as usual.

Ok. That’s all for now. I hope everyone is doing great. I’m so glad there are a few peeps out there who still enjoy reading in this fandom. I love the interaction of posting as I go and having you guys read along and comment.

Here’s the link to the revised SWY if you missed it.
http://whiskiegurl.livejournal.com/tag/swytt

Here’s the link to JBG’s youtube cuteness. J
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBHzqPph98E

DC Forum

2014-03-26T19:15:13Z

Does anyone know what's happened to the Dave Cullen forum? It was working yesterday but not today . :-(

Yikes - That had to hurt!

2013-11-15T04:23:01Z

an owie on set!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2507417/Jake-Gyllenhaal-rushed-hospital-punching-mirror-anger-18-hour-day-set-movie.html

this is kinda scary. apparently Jake got a little carried away while filming Nightcrawler and punched a mirror, ending up in the hospital for some stitches. while i get that he's really into making this movie, etc, i'll be glad when it's over. i'm not loving the emaciated, greasy haired look at all and i'm wondering what kind of weirdo headspace he's in. remember the talk about Heath locking himself up in a hotel room for a month to get ready to play the Joker, and then how he had nightmares and stuff afterwards? the last few years have seen Jake doing darker and darker things - that video, then EoW and Prisoners. even Source Code was darkish, imo. i get that he wants to do different things and i'm all for him following his own calling, but i can't help but wish for something fun and light-hearted, like No Strings Attached or When Harry Met Sally, which is old but i still love it and consider it wonderful entertainment.

anyway, just saw this and wanted to share. hope you guys are doing well. i'm enjoying Morrobay's story so much still, and it's great to see Jack's Key writing again.

thank you for all the kind comments and concern for me and my mom with my father's passing. we are trying to get back to some semblance of normal, the new normal, as my mom says. i'm not sure what the future holds, but hopefully there are better days ahead.

hugs all around. S.

ps: I miss this! :)

Goodnight, dear Daddy, and Godspeed

2013-10-09T21:29:38Z

Thank you all for the sweet comments you've left me over my last few posts, and throughout the years as I've written about my father. This is the piece I wrote for the local paper about his life and passing. I just wanted to share it with you. Hugs and Love to all.

Billy Tate was born February 23, 1932, in Mebane, North Carolina to William and Frances Currie Tate. Interesting note: Billy thought he was a Jr. until he was thirty-one years old and preparing for a trip to Canada when he found out that his middle name was actually Andrew, in honor of his father’s good friend, and not Alphonsa like his dad’s.

Billy lived in Mebane until he was eight years old, when his family, including a new sister, Mary Jane, moved to Lauderdale County to be near his mother’s family, the Currie’s. He grew up there on the farm just outside of Henning, surrounded by relatives in Lauderdale and Haywood counties, all who loved and doted on him.

As a youth, Billy was both athletic and smart, but his first love was baseball. He pitched for Henning in the county league and then played for business teams in Memphis once he moved to the city. In later years, he became a tennis fan, whiling away many happy afternoons watching John McEnroe, Maria Sharapova and Andrew Murray. He also followed the Boston Red Sox and the Duke Blue Devils, North Carolina never straying far from his mind.

At the ripe old age of eighteen, he fell in love with Ann Elmore, a love that lasted for sixty-three years. They married in Hernando, Mississippi, on December 5, 1953. They lived in Memphis and West Memphis until 1968, when they moved with their three-year-old daughter Jane Evelyn back home to the farm in Henning.

Billy loved being back in Henning and made the most of country life, still working in Memphis at Gordon’s Transport but spending his free time close to home, gardening, reading, tromping through the woods – never hunting but occasionally fishing –and caring for his parents and in-laws, the Elmores of Curve.

As a young boy, he loved listening to the Grand Ole Opry and the music of that era remained a lifelong passion. He bought a cheap guitar and taught himself to play at an early age and continued to enjoy playing and singing those same old songs all his life. He was pretty handy with a pool cue too, spending many hours around the tables in Memphis, then Ripley, and finally building a pool room of his own right in the back yard.

When Billy was fifty-one years old, the rheumatic fever he’d had as a child finally caught up with him and he had the first of three major heart surgeries to repair damaged valves. His childhood doctors had said he probably wouldn’t live past fifty but he got an extra thirty-one years, thanks to the talented doctors and nurses at Baptist Hospital. (Cudos also go to his wife, Ann, who spent almost as many nights in the hospital as he did through the years, devoted to her promise to stand by him in sickness and in health. She honored that promise faithfully till the very end.)

Billy was baptized in the Crossroads Presbyterian Church back in North Carolina, and remained close to his faith all his life. For the past twenty years, he’s been an active and devoted member of the Hurricane Hill Methodist Church in Ripley, where he sang in the choir and often played his guitar and sang at their parties and events. The little church sustained his faith and was also a great source of joy and laughter. The friendships he made there were a treasured blessing in his life.

Billy passed away peacefully in the Lauderdale Community Hospital on Sunday evening, October 6, surrounded by his family. He leaves behind his wife, Ann, and his daughter Jane Evelyn Ashe (Jim). He was predeceased by his sister Mary Jane Webb and leaves behind her daughters Camille Thornton (Steve) and Mary Elizabeth Schibler (Chuck), along with four great nephews. He also leaves nieces Carolyn Mitchell (Bobby), Patricia Kern (Bob), Kay Pike and their children and grandchildren. Last but definitely not least, he leaves behind a bevy of pets, cats and dogs who came into his life as strays but who loved and cherished him and will miss him just as much as we do.

Best Friends Forever - The Year of the Nut Spider, Future Sadness

2013-10-06T17:10:02Z

The Year of the Nut Spider (Future Sadness)

It’s strange the things that can take you back. One minute you’re walking across the paddock, thinking ‘bout nothing more interestin’ than the ache in your knee and what you want for supper, and the next minute you’re staring up at a spider, snug in the simple web she’s spun near the barn door, and suddenly you’re back in the past, walking up on one of the most awful moments of your whole damn life.

It was early October, just like now, and me and Jack had decided just the evening before that we wanted to get away for a few days. He wanted to head up into Virginia, do the tourist thing – drive down a buncha back roads looking at pretty leaves and chasing down the local wineries hidden back up in the hills. I’ve never been too much of a wine drinker myself, that’s his thing, but we hadn’t had much time together in a while – we were both coming off a busy summer – and I was craving some alone time just as much as he was. Eatin’ cheese puffs and gettin’ tipsy at two in the afternoon sounded like a fine time to me.

Things were finally calming down around the barn, fall coming on and all, and we had some good help around the place, so it was a good time to go. My dad was still technically the one in charge, but I was actually the one runnin’ things and had been for a long time. Those days, he mostly just hung around and shot the shit with the clients when they stopped by, worked with a horse every now and then if he took a mind too but it wasn’t ever nothing I was countin’ on.

He was well up into his seventies by then – he’d already done his share of the work. Anymore, I was just happy to see him still showing up every day, glad he was still interested and all. He’d really started slowin’ down the last couple of years and I knew it was taking a toll on him, knowing he couldn’t do things like he usedta could. I was starting to get a taste of that every once and a while myself, aches and pains that hadn’t been there the year before, and it sucked. I could only imagine how it must feel to him, his strength and vitality seeping away bit by bit as the days went by, to where even the least little bit of activity left him winded and tired.

However, even with the other folks working around the place, if me and Jack was gonna get out of town for a few days, that meant some of my load was gonna fall to him. That afternoon, walking up to the barn, that’s all I was thinking on – making sure he’d be ok for a few days without me – trying to figure out a way to get everything set up so he wouldn’t have to do too much but wouldn’t feel like his pride was gettin’ stepped on neither.

Just as I was getting close to the door of the barn, I noticed something moving up in the corner of the opening. I looked up and sure enough, there was another one of them fat brown spiders. I’d been seeing ‘em all over the place for the past few days, webs hung mostly up high enough to be outta the way so that I hadn’t actually walked into any of ‘em, thank God.

They were everywhere and it was just so strange ‘cause while I knew I’d seen ‘em before, maybe one or two, it was almost like a plague of ‘em that year. They were strung up along one side of the barn like streetlights going down a sidewalk – every few feet and there’d be another one up there, all of ‘em swaying like synchronized swimmers whenever a little breeze blew up.

Just a few days earlier, I’d stopped by up at the house, mostly just to check on my folks, see if they needed anything, but also to get my Dad’s opinion about a couple of issues I had working down at the barn. The evening was still plenty warm but not hot like the summer had been, so we’d left my mom in the kitchen making dinner, grabbed a couple of beers and headed back out to the front porch to talk shop.

Sure enough, there was one of those spiders out there, web strung up in the corner of the porch between the post and the ceiling. That'd made about the twentieth one I’d seen that week, so I’d pointed at it and asked, “What’s up with all the spiders this year, Dad? I can’t remember ever seein' more’n a couple of ‘em, 'nd this year seems like they’re damn near taking over the place.”

He’d sipped his beer and eyed the creature, a little brown nugget of a thing suspended on the tiniest of threads. There was nothing pretty about her or her web, not like those big black and yellow ones that would sometimes string up a fancy web across our kitchen window. No, she was real plain and kinda scary looking if you got up close, but even still, I’d never had any urge to disturb one. I was a live-and-let-live kinda guy and my dad was too.

“I dunno, Ennis, but you’re right, they’re damn near everywhere. Don’t recall the last time I seen so many of ‘em. Must be really good conditions for ‘em this year. Or maybe they run in long life cycles, like those cicada bugs. Don’t see them for years at a time, then those little shells’ll be all over the place and the whole farm’ll be singin’ with ‘em.”

“Yeah, guess that could be it.” I’d stared at the thing, wondering what its purpose was other than to eat a bug or two and reproduce. “Wonder what it’s called… Do you know?”

He’d shaken his head. “Got no clue. I always called ‘em nut spiders myself, ‘cause that’s what they look like to me from a distance when they’re all huddled up like that – like a pecan or an acorn stuck there in the web.”

“Yeah, first time I saw one, that’s what I thought," I'd said, nodding and childishly pleased that I'd seen it the same as him. "I just figured it was something got blown into an old web and stuck there. Walked right up on it before I realized what it was.”

I’d shuddered and he’d laughed at me, well acquainted with my love/hate relationship with spiders. “True, they’re ‘bout as ugly as fartin’ in church, but me, I kinda like ‘em. Don’t do no harm that I can see. Long as they stay up there and I’m down here, we’re good,” he’d said, toasting his porch guest with his beer. I’d agreed and we’d moved on to other things, whiling away a pleasant hour before Mom had called him in to supper and I’d headed back to my own house and dinner with Jack in front of a football game.

A few short days afterwards, that nut spider hangin’ by the barn door was the last thing I saw before I walked inside and found him layin’ there dead on the hard dirt floor.

Lookin’ at the new spider, almost seven years later to the day, it still makes my heart clench up with sadness as my mind travels back to those awful days of death and tears and heartbreak, the foundation of mine and my mother’s lives wiped out just like that, crumbled and gone in less than a minute, leavin’ us adrift in a tearstained blur of tired summer leaves fadin’ on the trees and fat brown nut spiders hangin’ in the shadows, keepin’ silent watch as we cried.

JBG Pic snagged from IHJ; also some oldies

2013-10-01T16:52:56Z

The series is titled Elle Men China, which makes me think the China edition of Elle Magazine for Men is doing an article on JBG. I haven't looked into this at all. I just look at IHJ and enjoy the pictures. I particularly love this one, and am continually fascinated with his shoes. These are his own personal shoes - i'm wondering why he isn't wearing theirs, since i'm assuming this is a fashion photo shoot. Anyway, when i shop for shoes i always look for styles that remind me of his. Yes, i wanna be like jake, because i am just that ridiculous.

As i mentioned in my previous personal post, my father's health is failing. I believe he is dying. He's in the hospital and they are talking about hospice for the future, but i'm not sure we'll even get that far along. Everyone deals with the loss of a parent in their own way. I'm dealing with it by hiding out in my head whenever i get the chance, and by writing when my mind is clear enough to let me. Who knows how long i'll be able to hold on to an idea, but it's giving me pleasure right now and i guess that's all that matters.

I'm calling the story "Say My Name" because Jack says that to Ennis in their first real conversation. Here's SMN Jack, who is a bit of a piece of work in this story, maybe a little like BFF Jack, and a total mind-bender for Ennis. I don't know if i'll ever get this story finished, so who know's if i'll ever get to post it, but it's good to have someplace happy to go to in my head.

and one more, just for fun. :)

Best Friends Forever (FT) - Callin' In

2013-09-10T23:43:54Z

Just a little bit more of the Missing You series...

The problem with playing hooky when you worked for your dad was that when you went to call in sick, there wasn’t some couldn’t-give-a-fuck-less secretary on the other end of the phone writing down that you had a stomach ache or a sore throat or the bubonic plague, it was your dad who would immediately launch into a thousand and one questions, like, “Do we need to come over?” or “Should your mom bring some soup?” or “Did you fuck Troy Barnett and now you can’t face the world?”

Ennis didn’t really think about any of that because it had been a long time since he’d called in sick and the last time had been because he’d actually had the flu and yes, he’d wanted his mother and soup and his last rites before it had all been over with.

So he didn’t really think of the ramifications of calling in when he didn’t really have a great story all lined up and he was already on everyone’s radar because of last night and he was a little off kilter because, hello, he’d sucked off a dildo that morning and that was just a little bit far out for him. And maybe he was a little hung over. Maybe.

But Jack was there, all sprawled out in their bed looking like seven kinds of heaven after Ennis had spent weeks in hell and all he wanted was more, more, more, so he had the speed dial pushed on his phone before his brain had shifted into official Dad Gear.

He was not even close to ready for Mom.

“Good morning.” She sounded like she was trying to sound normal, but he could hear the tension in her voice, a dead giveaway that she was actually pretty worried about something.

“Hey. What’s up?”

“Nothing. Just making breakfast. What’s up with you?” There was a clatter in the background. He could picture her standing at the stove stirring eggs and his stomach growled.

“Just calling to talk to Dad. You ok? Girls ok?”

“Yes Ennis. We’re all fine.”

Oh. “Well, ok, that’s good.” He faked a cough, which was such a waste of time he couldn’t even believe he’d tried, but it was early and his brain was not on board at all. “Hey, can I talk to Dad?”

“Are you in jail?”

“Jail?” Jack snorted behind him and Ennis wrenched around to glare at him. “No, of course not. Why would I be in jail?”

“I don’t know, Ennis. I was just worried. You know how I worry.”

“Jesus, Mom, no I’m not in jail. I’m at home.”

“Really?” She absolutely did not sound convinced.

“Uhhh… yeah, really.” He was starting to get a little annoyed at her total lack of faith in him. “Is Dad there?” Just then he heard his dad’s voice in the background, mumble grumble, and then his mother was whispering, “It’s Ennis, he sounds weird but he won’t tell me what’s wrong,” but she forgot to put her finger over the mouthpiece so he heard her anyway. Jack was watching him close, obviously wondering what the hold-up was, eyelids drifting low… yeah, they were definitely taking a nap before anything else. Assuming he ever got off the phone.

“Ennis. What’s going on?” his dad asked, brisk and serious, not his usual Friday morning just-getting-going drawl.

“Nothing. I’m just not feeling too good today, need to take the day off.”

There was a beat of silence, then his dad said, “Really,” in a tone just like his mother’d just used. And then nothing, ball back in his court, smooth and easy as you please, and while all the questions would’ve been annoying as hell, this actually seemed worse.

“Yeah.”

“Your mom says you’re not in jail.”

“Jesus Christ, no, of course I’m not in jail. What’s with you guys this morning? Why would I be in jail?”

“I dunno. Maybe because you went out with some jerk who probably wanted to get you drunk so he could get you in the sack! And if you finally got a clue before it was too late and tried to drive yourself home – which I’m assuming you did since I didn’t get a call, and believe me we were listening for one – then you coulda got your drunk ass throwed in jail.”

“Well, thanks a lot for all the confidence y’all got in me. I really appreciate the hell out of it.”

“Well, Christ, Ennis, you been walking around like a bear stuck his head in a hornet’s nest for the last two weeks. First time you even looked halfway like you didn’t wanna kill the world was last night when you were goin’ out to meet that guy. We hadn’t heard shit from Jack in over a week. What do you expect us to think?”

Ennis dropped his head, rubbed his forehead and wondered how his family could be so totally jammed up his ass still, at the age of thirty-two, that him going out to dinner with a man – a client, for God’s sake – had the power to make everyone crazy. They hadn’t even gotten this balled up when he’d started seeing Jack when he was seventeen.

Well, maybe they had, but only because they’d had to listen to them fuck.

Jack grumbled behind him, “This gonna take all fuckin’ day?” to which his dad growled, “You ain’t still with that guy, are you?” and he could hear his mother in the background, “What?? Did he stay over?” and he could only imagine the fallout if he didn’t get this stopped and soon.

“No. No, I didn’t. I’m at home. He’s at his hotel. Nothing happened. Seriously. Y’all need to get off this.”

“Nothing happened?”

“No!!! Nothing! Happened!”

Jack snorted. “Except for how he felt you up and sent you a picture of his dick!”

“Would you shut up?” Ennis hissed, but he’d forgotten to put his finger over the mouthpiece too, so his dad heard that.

“Then who the hell are you talkin’ to, and if you say me, I’m gonna come over there and kick your ass!”

“Jack, ok? I’m talking to Jack, the only person in the whole damn world more aggravatin’ than you two!”

“Jack’s home?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh.” His mother started chattering in the background, and Ennis could imagine bluebirds and butterflies suddenly flitting around their kitchen as the sun broke out of a leaden sky and maybe even a pretty pastel rainbow rose up out of the sink. Jack was home and all was right with the world.

“So. Everything ok?”

Ennis remembered why he was calling, fake coughed again. “No. I’m sick. I ain’t coming in today.”

“You’re sick?” The disbelief in his dad’s voice was over-the-top obvious and did nothing to soothe Ennis’s ruffled feelings.

“Yeah, which is what I was calling to tell you about before y’all started accusing me of being an adulterer and a drunk driver and all that mess.”

“Yeah, well you knew your momma was worried. You coulda at least texted her, let her know you made it in ok.”

There was a part of Ennis that wanted to snap back, say, “Mind your own business, I’m a fuckin’ adult,” but that was only the mean part, which was really small and almost never controlled him. Mostly he remembered what it was like the night that Kendall didn’t come home, and he knew that he wasn’t their only son, he was just the only son they had left. It’d been his choice to stay there, practically on their doorstep, and no matter how old he got, he was still bound to them and them to him and it would never be any different.

“Yeah, I would’ve, but Jack was here and so, you know…” His dad was as eager to get dragged into Ennis’s sex life as Ennis was into his, so he let the sentence tail off hopefully, and finally he and his dad were on the same page.

“So you’re really not sick, you just wanna take the day off and hang out with him, is what you’re tellin’ me.” He heard his mother blah blahing in the background, then his dad was back. “And just so we don’t ever have to talk about this again, you ain’t in trouble or about to get kicked back over here, are you, ‘cause your room’s got pictures of some fifteen year old boy in leather pants plastered all over it, and I hope to God that’d make you uncomfortable.”

“No, he ain’t kicking me out, Jesus, I told you nothing happened. And yeah, thank you for creditin’ me with a little integrity at last, I don’t like fifteen year old boys!”

Jack snorted again, but rolled over and wrapped his arms around Ennis’s waist and pressed his mouth to the bare skin of his back and started munching on him.

Great!” his dad said, all smiles and good cheer at last. “Your mother says bring his ass over for Sunday lunch!” and he could hear his mom yapping but she sounded happy too, and Ennis had Jack in his bed and the day off with plans to make up for too much lost time, so he didn’t really care what they said anymore.

* * *

Sunday lunch was a goddamned feast, pretty much everything Ennis had ever said he liked in the last ten years because his mother was feeling guilty for making him feel like they didn’t trust him. Whit though, he’d been walking around with a dick for fifty some-odd years and he knew that right there qualified a guy for being stupid and liable to fuck up, and while he had a lot of confidence in Ennis to do the right thing, he was still a guy, and Jack was gone a lot and that other guy… Jesus H!

But mostly he just wanted his family to be happy and Jack had been around for fifteen years and was as much a part of the family as he could be without sharing blood. If something ever happened to him and Ennis it would hurt them all down to the bone, even him, although Jack probably didn’t know that and Whit wasn’t about to tell him. He liked the relationship they had just fine, with Jack feeling just a little bit off center whenever he was around. All the rest of them loved him too damned much to see sense when Jack was involved. Somebody had to keep their wits about them where that boy was concerned and Whit figured it was him or nobody.

Which meant that it was just the tiniest little bit awkward when the two of them found themselves standing out on the front porch, waiting for Ennis to finish looking at something on Mallory’s phone while Rachel loaded down a bag with enough leftovers to feed him till Jack got back home. Jack was heading back out to finish his trip, leaving that afternoon for two more weeks and Whit sincerely hoped that he’d keep his ass home for a while after that so Ennis could smile and be happy and not be all grump-ass and surly all the goddamned time.

“Think you’ll be done traveling for a while after this trip’s over with?” he asked, figuring he might as well get a little more information while they waited for Rachel and the girls to come out, say their last goodbyes and wave them off like always.

Jack flinched a little, which he almost always did when Whit initiated a conversation with him. He’d usually relax some after they got the ball rolling, but he was always a little stiff at the beginning. Whit didn’t smile, just scanned the horizon, waiting to see what he said, pretending not to be too interested. “Not sure. My agent said one of the cable networks might be thinking about trying out a summer series with my story. I dunno. She’s gonna get back with me.”

This was bona fide news. Whit was pretty sure it hadn’t got mentioned at lunch, because if it had, Rachel would’ve been shooting off fireworks in the backyard and the girls would’ve texted everybody in three counties and all that would’ve been hard to miss.

“Huh. So what’s that mean? You gotta move out there and supervise or something?” That would be the worst news ever, because Ennis would be worthless here without Jack and Whit would be worthless with Ennis in L.A.

“I don’t know. She’s not really sure what’s goin’ on. They haven’t made an official offer yet, so it’s just talk so far. I ain’t said nothin’ to nobody else about it yet.”

“Not even Ennis?”

“No. She texted me right when we were gettin’ here. I didn’t wanna mess up his lunch.” He was propped up against the porch post, staring out into the quiet of what had to be a boring place compared to where he could be, and Whit wondered, not for the first time, about the ties that bound this boy to his. Jack had always been wild and unpredictable, making Whit believe he’d eventually get tired of this place and move on to more exciting things. He never had, though. He wandered off from time to time, did his thing, got on TV and got to meet people Whit only ever read about in People magazine, but then he came back home and made Ennis smile and helped the girls with their writing assignments and hung curtains for Rachel, and honest to God, Whit couldn’t think about what it’d be like if he wasn’t there.

Which got him to thinking about Troy Barnett again. Ennis had never said how that fuck-up had played out at home, but he did know that Jack had come home early Thursday evening, so Jack had to have a clue that something had happened. Whit couldn’t help wondering if Jack really believed whatever line Ennis had fed him. Whit wasn’t even sure he believed it. He wanted to, but it wasn’t as easy as it probably shoulda been, maybe because he remembered what it was like to be thirty-two years old, coming up on fifteen years with the same person, and facing temptation.

“Yeah, I can see that messin’ with his appetite. He don’t like it so much when you ain’t around. Guess somethin’ like that’d take you away more you’re already gone, huh?”

“Probably.” Jack shifted, looked back over his shoulder towards the door. Whit couldn’t tell if he was hoping Ennis would come on, or hoping he wouldn’t, since it seemed like he almost wanted to talk. Nothing was stirring back there yet, which was no surprise to Whit because between the girls and his momma, Ennis could get locked up for a while.

Jack looked over at him and shrugged, said, “It ain’t easy for me either, you know,” defensive-like, and then turned back to stare out across the yard.

“No. Guess it wouldn’t be.” He flicked his eyes over at Jack one more time, then decided he might as well stare out at the yard too. Maybe the conversation would go smoother if they weren’t looking at each other. “Guess you run into all kindsa interestin’ folks out there in them big cities.”

“Yeah. Guess.” Jack shifted, put his foot up on the porch rail. Whit looked at his shoes, some kinda fancy loafer, no socks. City boy stuff. Glanced back up at his hands fisted on the top railing, saw his wedding ring glinting in the afternoon sun.

Whit cleared his throat, knew he was fixing to march right straight into a big No Trespassing Zone, but he was a bull-in-a-china-shop kinda guy, always had been. They were standing on the front porch of his house, he was gonna say what he wanted. Jack could always tell him to mind his own fucking business. “You wear that ring all the time?”

Jack’s head snapped around then and Whit got a dose of those eyes the girls sometimes talked about when they thought he wasn’t listening. This time they were sharp, searching him out, nothing soft or dreamy about them, not that Whit would know soft and dreamy on a guy if it bit him on the nose.

“Yeah. I do.” He swallowed and his jaw bunched up and Whit knew he’d hit a nerve. “He don’t though.”

“I know. I don’t neither. Can’t take a chance on rippin’ a finger off.”

“Yeah. That’s what he says.” Jack went back to his far-away gazing, but he let go of the railing, toyed with the ring. “Ring don’t mean nothing anyway if the person wearing it don’t back it up.”

“True.” Whit shifted, listened for footsteps but they must be watching every video ever made or something, because it was dead silent behind them. Whit took a deep breath, popped open the can of worms that had been churning around in his gut since Thursday. “So you guys doin’ ok with that? Bein’ apart all the time can be a bitch.”

The sharp eyes were back, digging into Whit like phantom claws, searching for hiding places and secrets. “I am.”

Whit twitched his mouth, a lame imitation of a smile, which was the best he could come up with.

After a few seconds, Jack said, “I know about what happened Thursday. You can say what you wanna say.”

“Yeah, ok. I figured you musta got in on some of it,” Whit replied.

“He said nothing happened. I heard him tell you that about five times on the phone.”

“I know.”

“How come you don’t believe him?”

Whit hadn’t spent many minutes regretting things in his life, outside of most everything that happened between him and Kendall the last year of his life. He was however, suddenly regretting really badly starting this conversation that could have no good end for him, no matter how it turned out otherwise. “Guess I’m just more pessimistic than you are.”

“Of the two of us, I’m surprised you’re bein’ pessimistic about him. Figured it’d be me you’d be doubtin’ if one of us had to come under the gun.”

“Yeah, me too,” Whit admitted.

“Thanks,” Jack snapped back.

Whit figured he probably couldn’t do much more damage than he already had, and since he still felt uneasy about the whole thing, he plowed on. If he didn’t get anywhere this time, he swore to himself he’d leave off. “So you believed him.”

“Well, not at first, ‘cause he looked guilty as all hell, but I got up close to him and he still smelled like that fancy body wash Mrs. Rachel’s got in y’alls bathroom at the barn and nothin’ else, if you know what I mean, so he couldn’ta got up to much.”

Whit felt his heart unclench a little at that news. “You ain’t mad at him for goin’ in the first place?”

“Well, I was, but it ain’t his fault I’m gone all the time and he’s stuck here alone. He didn’t do nothing, and it ain’t ‘cause he was afraid of gettin’ caught ‘cause he had no idea I’d be anywhere around, and I’m pretty sure you wouldn’ta ratted him out if I hadn’t come home in the middle of it.”

Whit just sighed, didn’t answer but Jack was probably right. Ennis was his son and he wasn’t gonna throw him under the bus, at least not on the first offense.

“So I’m gonna ask you again, how come you didn’t believe him?”

Whit gritted his teeth but knew there wasn't nothing to do but spit it out. “Got a picture on my phone. Damn Barnett musta had our numbers grouped up or something. Just seemed like an awful personal thing to be sendin’ to somebody you ain’t gettin’ intimate with.”

“Jesus! You got that picture too?” Jack’s face had gone from tense to slack-jawed and flushed in about two seconds.

Whit imagined he didn’t look much better. “You saw it?”

“Well, yeah, Ennis showed it to me.” He started fidgeting, eyes shifting nervously, and it took Whit right back to when he was a kid and in trouble for something, which was a lot of the time.

This time, though, Whit felt the same way, chin-deep in a conversation that shoulda never happened but he was too far in to do anything but keep going and hope they got to the other side before his brain melted. “So, if he’s into that kind of thing, which I guess he must be considering,” and he let his eyes roam over Jack for an instant, “then I just find it kinda hard to believe he’d up and walk out on something that…umm…impressive.”

“So you ain’t never looked a set of bodacious ta-ta’s in the eye and said, ‘No thanks,’?”

Whit felt a little queasy with the direction the conversation was headed, way more personal than he wanted to get, but before he could even answer, a horrified look was glazing over Jack’s face. “You know what, forget I asked that,” he said, starting to move around Whit, off towards the yard and their car.

“No, Jack, that ain’t it. Get back here, boy,” he said, reaching out to stop Jack, fingers curling around his wrist and holding firm. “I never cheated on Rachel, so get that outta your head right now, but I know what it’s like to get tempted. That’s all.” He let Jack go, rubbed the back of his neck miserably. “Probably just been readin’ too much crap on the internet, how everybody’s cheatin’ on everybody else, nothin’s sacred no more, whole world’s goin’ to hell in a hand basket, then Ennis starts actin’ all weird and I get that picture.” He spat the word like it was dirty in his mouth, wished he could replay his life back to Thursday and do something different so none of this had ever happened.

Jack, though, he didn’t seemed riled or anxious anymore, stepped up kinda close into his space and put a kind hand on his shoulder. “You can read as much bad shit on the internet as your brain can stand, but it don’t have nothing to do with us, Mr. Whit. Me and Ennis hit a rough spot every now and then, we ain’t perfect, but we’re happy and we’re gonna keep on being happy. I promise.”

“Yeah, all right. Guess that’s what I was wantin’ to hear.”

Just then there was the clomp of footsteps in the hallway heading for the front door and Whit had a fleeting surge of hope that he might survive their conversation without getting permanently damaged, but he’d underestimated Jack by a long shot.

“And besides, if it makes you feel any better, Ennis may be shallow, but he’s never been much of a size queen. Give him a pretty face and a regulation-sized pecker, ehhh… ok, make that a little bit bigger than regulation,” he grinned, and there was one hundred percent devil in those blue eyes, “and that’s all it takes to make Ennis a happy boy. That Barnett dude? Total overkill. Kinda like Triple D hooters. Fun to look at, but anything more’n a handful or a mouthful’s just wasted. Know what I mean?”

Whit sputtered and gaped while Jack cackled evilly and elbowed him in the ribs, then jumped away just as Ennis and the women-folk trooped outside. It was time for the boys to go, ten seconds too late for Whit’s sanity but he figured that was the price he had to pay for ever thinking it was a good idea to talk about dicks to Jack fuckin’ Twist.

Best Friends Forever (FT) - Missing You, Part Five

2013-09-09T00:54:48Z

One more time, if you please...

It was still dark outside when Ennis woke up, flat on his belly, a heavy weight pressing down on his hips, and for about three seconds he panicked, but then the weight turned into a mouth on his shoulder and hands on his hips, slipping down to touch him and Ennis eased his thighs apart, tilted his hips just a little so Jack could do what he wanted. Ennis heard him whisper, “Mornin’,” his voice raspy with sleep, but Ennis wasn’t even that lucid yet, just grunted and let it go at that.

“I love you like this, all warm and sleepy.” Jack rubbed his hands up Ennis’s sides. “You feel so good. Smell good too,” he whispered, nuzzling at the curve of his neck, then nipping and kissing his way slowly down his spine.

Ennis flexed his hips, mmmm’d at the friction on his dick and ahhh’d when Jack’s fingers finally slipped down to play again, rubbing up and down between his cheeks, spit-slick and pushing gently at his opening. He pushed back into them, hungry for it and craving more.

He heard Jack hum behind him, felt the vibration against his skin. “This what you need, Ennis? Gonna let me fuck you now, do whatever I want?”

Ennis nodded yes into the pillows and Jack murmured, “Mmmm, yeah, seems like forever since we did this. Missed you, Ennis.” His fingers slid away from Ennis’s ass, but that was ok because his dick slotted in where they’d been and Jack let his full weight rest on Ennis, rocking slow and easy, his hard cock pushing and leaking between Ennis’s cheeks, making a damp path.

Ennis moaned at the pressure and rocked back against him, still half asleep, that special mix of lazy and horny and safe, knowing he could just lay there and let Jack take care of him and that Jack would be more than happy to do just that.

“Yeah, Ennis, you want it bad, doncha?” he said, and his fingers were back, wet with lube and hard with purpose, circling quickly, then slipping into Ennis, easy at first but going deep after only a couple of thrusts. “God, you’re so hot, so tight... Wanna put my dick in you now, ok? Stretch you out with my cock,” he whispered, sounding needy and desperate and Ennis wasn’t about to say no since he did want it bad, had been needing to get fucked for weeks. Jack slipped his fingers out, rubbed behind Ennis’s balls for a few seconds, just long enough to make Ennis shudder and ache for more, then his dick was there, urgent and demanding and Ennis braced himself as Jack pushed in.

It burned, no surprise because Jack wasn’t taking his time, but it was a good kind of hurt, just enough to make Ennis grunt and push back harder, enough to know he’d be feeling it later and he loved that part, carrying the ache of fucking with him into the day. Jack bottomed out on the third thrust, hissed in his ear, warm breath on his neck and hot skin plastered to his back, and Ennis felt like he might come apart with all the goodness, wondered how he even survived for weeks at a time without Jack there to give him this.

“Goddamn, Ennis, I wanna do this for hours, wanna fuck you till you can’t even move…” Jack chanted and that sounded good to Ennis.

“God yeah, do it,” he said, turning his head to the side so Jack could hear him.

“I’m gonna,” Jack promised, pushing in deep, making Ennis writhe and gasp. “You’re gonna hafta call in sick ‘cause ain’t no way you’re gonna wanna get on a horse once I get done with you.”

“Mmmm…” Ennis hadn’t called in sick from too much fucking in years, didn’t figure it was gonna happen today, but he didn’t argue because he didn’t want to ruin his good time thinking about anything outside of their room. All that stuff would still be there later, after Jack was done loving him and they were back in the world of responsibilities and normal shit. Then Jack would have calls to make and chapters to write or edit or sing odes to or what the fuck ever he did, and Ennis would go to the barn and get glared at by his dad and even more so by Troy when he showed up for his horse, and even if he wasn’t walking funny, maybe he’d put a little hitch in his step just to piss them both off.

Jack slid his hands down Ennis’s arms till he got to his hands, then threaded their fingers together and pushed them under the pillows and held on. “Yeah, Ennis, stay home with me today. We’ll fuck till we can’t even move, then we’ll sleep some more, then I’ll suck you off in the shower, yeah baby, I know you like that.” He changed his tempo, went to short, sharp jabs right at Ennis’s prostate and Ennis squirmed and whined. Jack kept talking, soft, breathy puffs of words in time with his thrusts. “Then I’ll make you breakfast, maybe bacon and eggs and those fried potatoes you like…”

Ennis’s brain kicked in for about three seconds and he shook his head. “Nothing here to cook.”

“Yeah there is. I stopped on the way in, got some stuff. We can survive a coupla days and never leave the house.” Jack kneed Ennis’s thighs further apart, lifting him up off the bed as he drove deeper into his body, taking away the friction from the sheets but still giving Ennis plenty to enjoy.

“Oh.” Ennis’s mind was shot, all he could think of was how good he felt, because Jack was really working him over, had him all stretched out and open, was fucking him just like he liked, hard and fast, rough enough that he might not have to fake a hitch after all.

“Ennis…” Ennis tried to get his hands free, wanted to touch himself, was almost there, just needed a little more and he’d be good, but Jack wouldn’t let go.

“Ennis…” Jack groaned his name, hoarse and gravelly, then bit down on Ennis’s shoulder, sharp enough to get his attention.

“What?” He tried to pull his hand free again, but Jack was strong and had leverage and Ennis didn’t want to do anything that would interrupt the fucking because the rhythm was perfect. “Touch me, Jack, come on.”

“Unh uh. I’m gonna come but I want you to wait, ok?”

“Huh?” Ennis’s brain was glazed over with sex and the one thing he wanted above all else was to make a giant jizz mess all over the sheets.

“Don’t come.” Jack had the only voice in the world that could make those particular words sound sexy, Ennis thought, even as he also thought Jack must’ve lost his mind. “I’m gonna fuck you hard and come inside of you,” he explained, and Ennis almost came just from hearing him talk about it, “and I want you to hold on and take it, ok? Don’t touch yourself, keep your hands under the pillows and let me do this.” He flexed his hips and Ennis arched and whimpered. “Promise me. I’m gonna let you go. No touching, ok?”

“Jesus… you trying to kill me?”

Jack drew his fingers up Ennis’s arms slowly. “Not unless you think you might die from too much fuckin’.”

“No, but I might die from blue balls!”

Jack laughed softly and Ennis felt it way up inside of himself. “Come on, Ennis. I let you do whatever you wanted last night. It’s my turn now.”

“Yeah, but what I wanted made you come,” Ennis whined, prideless. “Twice!”

“Don’t you worry, sugar. You’re gonna come, I promise.” Jack hovered over his back, rocking slow and deep, sending sparks of pleasure flickering up his spine. “Now you gonna be good for me, do like I said?”

His voice was like sin smothered in molasses, thick and dirty and irresistible. Ennis shivered but he nodded anyway. If Jack wanted to fuck him to death, he wasn’t about to say no. “I’ll try.”

“You can do it.” With one last kiss, Jack pulled back and sank his fingers into Ennis’s hips. Ennis could feel him getting set, could feel his thighs pushing at his own. Ennis’s dick throbbed, so ready for what was about to happen, and he wasn’t really sure if he’d make it or not.

“Ok, here we go,” Jack murmured, and Ennis closed his eyes and tried to think of other things but the shit that had been dragging at him earlier was all gone, nothing left in his mind or his body but Jack as Jack let go, fucking him deep and perfect, his cock rubbing against Ennis’s sweet spot just right and Ennis buried his face in his pillow and howled.

Jack babbled behind him, love and filth and everything in between as he pounded him into the sheets and Ennis’s cock bobbed with every hard thrust, leaving wet spots across his stomach wherever it hit, spooling him up yet another notch with every smack. “God, Jack, please…” Ennis begged at last, not even sure what he was asking for but knowing something had to give and soon.

Jack’s fingers dug in deeper, hard enough to bruise. “I’m almost there, yeah, Ennis, just hang on, almost, oh God……” and then Ennis could feel him hit his release, hips stuttering as he pumped Ennis full of his come while Ennis bit down on his bottom lip, gripped the pillow as hard as he could and tried not to free fall right over the edge with him.

Jack rode out the last waves of his pleasure with slow, lazy thrusts and Ennis gritted his teeth and bore it. “Mmm… God that was so fuckin’ good,” he groaned as he fell down on Ennis’s back, soft lip presses and more murmurs of praise whispered into his skin and Ennis closed his eyes and listened, rocked along with Jack and tried not to think about his poor, neglected cock. Maybe Jack lived to make him crazy, probably Jack lived to make him crazy, but he wasn’t a tease. He’d fix it when he was ready.

“Mmm… did you make it?” Jack’s fingers ringed Ennis’s cock and he jerked at the touch because he was still right there on the edge. Jack drew his fingers up the length, let them skim lightly over the head, smeared the wetness around.

Ennis hissed and bucked. “Fuck! You know I did. Don’t make it worse than it already is!”

“Sorry.” He rocked some more, his dick still mostly hard inside Ennis. “Did I mention how much I love fuckin’ you?”

“Mmm hmm…”

“It’s like the best feeling in the whole world, Ennis, swear to God.” Ennis just hmmm’d some more. He was pretty much all out of conversation until he got to come. Jack gave him a couple more light strokes, then moved his hand down to fondle his balls. Ennis chomped down on his lip again, starting composing his will in his head because Jack was definitely gonna kill him.

“You remember last year when I had to go out to L.A. for a couple of weeks, and they weren’t sure how long they were gonna need me and told me I might hafta stay for a month?” Ennis forgot it was a question till Jack nudged him. His dick was almost soft and Ennis could feel his come leaking out.

“Remember?”

“Uh… I think? Maybe?”

“Don’t get mad, ok, but the night before I left, I recorded us fuckin’ on my phone, so I could listen to it whenever I jerked off ‘cause I love all the noises you make when we do it.”

Jack stopped moving then and Ennis looked over his shoulder just as he pulled out. “Get on your back,” Jack told him and Ennis did, not sure what to make of what Jack had just told him. He only got to think about it for about two seconds though, then got distracted when Jack shoved two fingers inside him, taking up the space where his dick had just been. He trailed the fingers of his other hand up and down Ennis’s cock, barely touching, just enough to make Ennis crazy.

“I’ve still got it. I listened to it last week,” Jack confessed, pretending to be staring down at the place where his fingers disappeared into Ennis’s body, but Ennis was pretty sure that, beneath those ridiculous eyelashes, Jack was watching his face. He could be sneaky that way. “You’re usually pretty quiet, you know, but in bed you get kinda loud and crazy, and it really turns me on.”

Jack had just fucked him and he still needed to come and now Jack was touching him in all his most sensitive places while telling him about masturbating to a soundtrack of them fucking. Ennis’s brain was on life support and his conversational skills were pretty much gone.

“Uhhh… ok?” He arched his back, hoping to get back to the part where he got to come, but Jack didn’t seem ready to get to the action yet.

“So I always felt kinda guilty for that, like I’d gotten an advantage over you and maybe I was having an easier time of it when we were apart, ‘cause nothin’s as good as fucking you, but I can close my eyes and listen to us and my hand ain’t half bad, you know?” He tilted his head, blue eyes finally coming into view, and maybe he was feeling a little bit guilty, Ennis knew that look well, but that was just a small part of it. Mostly Jack was talking about sex.

And mostly Ennis was thinking about sex. He flexed his hips again, pushed more insistently. “No, your hand ain’t half bad,” he agreed, giving Jack’s hand a pointed look. Jack gripped him loosely, gave him a lazy stroke.

“Yeah, Ennis, but that ain’t what you like. You like gettin’ fucked, and your hand ain’t such a good substitute for that.”

Ennis shoved himself up on his elbows. “Don’t worry about it. I get by. If you’re back to thinkin’ about Troy again, you need to get that out of your head. That’s the closest I ever come to doin’ anything, and nothing happened.”

“Yeah, I know. Like I said, you ain’t a real good liar.” Jack put a little more squeeze on his dick, and Ennis twitched and huffed. The fingers inside of him started to move, and Ennis forced himself to lay back and relax. He closed his eyes, hoping maybe they were finally getting to the good stuff.

The finger fucking only lasted for a minute, though, before Jack pulled away. “I used to think about taking you to that sex store out on the interstate, fix you up with something nice to take the edge off while I was gone.” Ennis’s eyes flew open as Jack’s rambling suddenly made sense, especially considering what he’d been doing in their bed just yesterday morning. The gleeful look on Jack’s face filled in the blank about whether or not he’d remembered to put his toy away.

“I figured you’d probably be too shy to go by yourself.” Jack pursed his lips and shook his head. “Guess I was wrong about that one, huh Ennis?”

Ennis heard a familiar buzz, and Jack grinned like the cat who’d gotten both the cream and the canary as he pulled his hand out from under the covers with Ennis’s prized secret sex toy clenched tightly in his fist.

“Guess the only question I got left now is who’s doing the honors, you or me?” he asked, aiming the toy, which was big and black and ready for action, at the spot between Ennis’s legs. “Because I definitely plan to watch you come on this bad boy.”

Ennis’s cock had no sense of pride when it came to getting off. Faced with its two favorite stimulators in one package, Ennis almost lost it before they even got started. “Oh fuck, you do it,” he groaned, grabbing his cock and giving it a stroke and a squeeze to even out the pressure, wondering how disappointed Jack would be if he came as soon as he touched him.

“I was really hopin’ that’s what you’d say,” Jack said, his grin turning predatory and intent, and Ennis spread his legs and hiked his hips a little bit, knowing he was about to come totally undone and hoping that it wouldn’t ruin the toy for the future, when it was just him and it again and no Jack to drive him screaming out of his mind.

* * *

Ennis was on the edge and ready from the word go, but Jack wasn’t in any hurry, took his time and teased him with it for a while, getting a feel for how it worked because it wasn’t just any old run-of-the-mill vibrator. Once Ennis had finally decided to get one, he’d gone for something nice. He’d paid a pretty penny for it on-line, because Jack was right about that part of it – no way was he going to a sex shop and buying something like this.

Jack ran it over Ennis’s lips – he must’ve washed it because it smelled clean, thank God – and when Ennis flicked out his tongue Jack slid it between his lips and let him suck it. Ennis had never done this before, but the fire in Jack’s eyes and the flush on his face told Ennis he liked it and that made two of them. Once it was wet with spit, Jack pulled it out of Ennis’s mouth, drew it up and down Ennis’s cock, then climbed on top of him and kissed him while he played with both of their dicks with it. The vibrations were smooth and steady and felt amazing, and the fact that Jack was there too made it a thousand times better.

After a while, Jack climbed off and turned all his attention back to teasing Ennis, playing with his balls and his taint and his hole for long enough that Ennis was clutching the sheets in his fists and cussing him before he finally showed him some mercy and put it in. Even after all the fucking and touching, it was still tight and he worked it in slowly, stroking himself the whole time, and Ennis sat up on his elbows and watched it all like it was his own personal porn show.

Once it was in, play time was over. Jack pushed Ennis onto his back, got between his legs and went to work. Ennis finally got to come with his feet planted on the mattress and his ass off the bed, fucking himself on the thing while Jack held it steady for him and sucked his cock. Ennis was pretty sure that it was one of the top five best orgasms in the history of ever. Before he’d even quit shooting Jack tossed the toy aside, climbed on top of him and started in to fucking him all over again. By the time they were done, Ennis’s was as used up as he’d been in a long time, his entire body the consistency of overcooked spaghetti. The thought of walking to the shower was daunting. Getting on a horse wasn’t even an option.

“Told you you were gonna hafta call in sick,” Jack said, laughing when Ennis tried to get up to go pee and fell back onto the bed, too limp-limbed to even walk yet.

Ennis tried to remember back to that part of the conversation, but his brain was still scrambled with all the sex. “When’d you find it, anyway?”

“Yesterday. I was gonna take a nap, be all ready for action when you got home. I thought it was a gun when I first touched it.” Jack was sprawled out next to him on the bed and Ennis knew he was just as worthless at the moment as he was, but Jack still looked him up and down with interest. “So how long you had that thing anyway, and how come I didn’t know about it?”

Ennis dropped his gaze, suddenly felt shy about it, which was kind of ridiculous considering what they’d just done, but he’d only been dealing with his downstairs brain at the time and it didn’t come with the same set of inhibitions as his upstairs one did. “Mmm… I dunno. A while.” He turned away, made to get up again but Jack’s hand on his shoulder stopped him before he got off the bed.

“Wait up, Ennis. Don’t be that way, ok? I think it’s hot as shit, you know that right?” Jack scootched up behind him, pressed his chest against Ennis’s back and dropped a kiss on his shoulder.

Ennis blew out a breath and leaned back into him. “It’s just kinda embarrassing, I guess.”

“How come? We jerk off all the time when we’re apart. What makes you think this is any different?”

“I dunno. Just seems different to me.” He rolled his neck to the side, tried to find words to explain it because this wasn’t his first rodeo. Jack would crawl up inside his brain and dig it out if Ennis couldn’t come up with something. “Like too premeditated or something.”

“Hmm…” Jack slipped his hands around Ennis’s middle, started toying with his belly hairs, which tickled. “So it’s ok if you get in the shower and spontaneously start rubbin’ one off, because you didn’t really think about it, it just happened. But if you get a dildo and some lube outta the drawer and proceed to do yourself, it’s… weird?”

It didn’t sound like Jack had it completely figured out yet, but Ennis didn’t know how to steer him any closer. Some feelings were too complicated to explain, no matter how close to somebody you were. “Yeah. I guess weird’s as good a word as any.”

“You know it’s ok to want sex when I’m not around, right? Maybe that sounds egotistical or something and I don’t mean it that way, but I just want you to know that I don’t expect every sexual thought you have to be just about me. Sometimes I think about you and I listen to that recording on my phone, but sometimes I think about other people or watch porn or whatever.”

Jack may as well’ve said, “blah blah yada yada blah OTHER PEOPLE blah yada blah” for all Ennis heard. “Like who?”

“Huh?”

“Who? You said you think about other people. Like who?”

“Hell, Ennis, I dunno. Some actor – like those Hemsworth dudes are pretty fuckin’ hot – or maybe a football player.” He rubbed a knuckle into Ennis’s ribs hard enough to make him squirm. “Or you know, just some random dude who happens to ask me out to dinner and send me pictures of his dick on my phone.”

“Shut up! I never thought about doing shit with him.”

Jack eased up with the knuckling, linked his fingers across Ennis’s belly. “Yeah, I know. I believe you, I’m just giving you shit. Don’t get a chance to do that very often. Seems like I stay in trouble way more than you.”

“Maybe.” Ennis laughed softly. “Keeps things interesting though.”

“Yeah, that’s a good way of looking at it.” Jack kissed his shoulder, let his hands start to wander around Ennis’s front side, up to his nipples which he apparently felt needed just a little more tweaking. “Speakin’ of keepin’ things interesting, if you stay home with me today I’ll throw in some chocolate chip pancakes with breakfast, and later, after we take a fucking nap already because I can’t even believe I was awake before six o’clock this morning, I’ll let you do me with your toy. You can fuck me with it, then leave it in me and ride me. Bet that’d be fuckin’ hot as holy hell!”

That sent a delicious sizzle of dirty-boy joy straight to Ennis’s very tired and used-up-for-the-moment cock, and with the offer of a nap and pancakes in the meantime while the rest of his body recovered, Ennis figured Jack’s plan was just about perfect. His dad could handle the world for one day – he was playing hooky.

read more here: http://sienata.livejournal.com/201290.html

Best Friends Forever (FT) - Missing You, Part Four

2013-09-09T00:37:16Z

This is more like it...

Ennis figured he’d take a reasonably dignified stroll to their bedroom as soon as Jack let him go, ten seconds gave him plenty enough time to make it, but while he was still standing there gloating over the fact that real sex was finally in his immediate future, Jack started peeling out of his clothes, and suddenly Ennis wasn’t in the mood to go anywhere. There was just something about being this close to Jack, reading the intent in the deep blue of his gaze, watching him get naked and knowing what he planned to do with him, so that Ennis could barely even breathe. Walking away was absolutely out of the question.

With a move that never stopped making Ennis crazy, Jack reached back over his shoulder and pulled his t-shirt off with a one-handed drag, baring muscles that seemed a lot bigger than the last time Ennis had looked. Ennis’s mouth went dry as cotton just thinking about what was about to happen, because yeah, it was a little embarrassing but he totally got off on it when Jack got rough and manhandled him, and with all those muscles popping out, Ennis probably wouldn’t be able to get free unless Jack let him.

Jack smirked, knew exactly what his little striptease was doing to Ennis as he took a step back and peeled out of his underwear. Ennis watched Jack’s cock pop out, thick and blood-flushed, then tracked the black cotton as it slid down his heavy thighs and past his knees into a heap on the floor. He was enjoying the visual trip back up Jack’s legs when Jack whispered, “Ennis,” took his cock in hand and gave it a leisurely stroke.

Ennis swallowed, lifted his head reluctantly and mumbled, “Huh?”

“You got three seconds left,” he said with an evil grin and Ennis finally got his feet to work, dignity be damned, and if he skidded the last twenty feet with Jack hot on his tail, well, nobody ever had to know but them.

Ennis got his back on the bed and one boot kicked off before Jack was on him, slamming his wrists back into the pillows and pinning them there while he kissed him breathless. Ennis spread his legs to make room for him, then made a half-hearted attempt to hook his foot over the edge of the bed and wedge his other boot off. Finally it came free and fell with a clunk to the floor and Ennis gave up trying to do anything after that except kiss back and try to get some friction on his dick, although that last part didn’t work so well because for some reason Jack was being stingy with that.

Ennis slid one leg over Jack’s, trying to pull him down, but that didn’t work too well either. Jack caught himself on his knees and elbows and pulled back, ending the kiss, eyes smoldering as he gazed down at Ennis. “God, you look good tonight. Bet that guy was pissed as shit when you didn’t put out.”

Usually Ennis was an action-oriented type of guy. Fuck first, talk later, etc, or not at all if he could get away with it. However, tonight he obviously had a bigger bug up his ass than even he’d realized, because nice as the compliment was, and as ready for sex as he was, Jack’s words weren’t what made an impression on Ennis – Jack’s attitude was. And not in a good way. Ennis knew he was being the biggest kind of moron in the history of ever, but for some reason he couldn’t let it go.

“Yeah, I don’t get why you ain’t more pissed about that yourself.”

Jack pulled back and cocked his head. “You don’t get why I ain’t pissed that you didn’t fuck that guy?”

The only light in their room was what was spilling out from the bathroom with the door half closed, not enough for Ennis to get a read on Jack’s face even this close up. He tried to get his hand free to turn on the lamp, but Jack wouldn’t let him go. “Uh uh. You’re not going anywhere. Now tell me what the fuck’s gotten screwed up in your brain so we can get this mess cleared up. I didn’t pay a thousand bucks for a plane ticket home so we could spend the weekend fighting.”

Ennis squirmed around a little more but Jack just held on tighter, clamped down with his knees around Ennis’s thighs too so he was good and caught, till finally Ennis sighed and gave up. “I just don’t get why you weren’t more mad about me going to meet him. I knew what he wanted, Jack.”

Jack leaned closer, eyes dead serious and locked on Ennis’s. “So you’re telling me you went there planning to fuck him, then chickened out at the last minute?”

Ennis thought about that for about three seconds, but it wasn’t a hard question. “No, of course not.”

“So why’d you go?”

That was the hard question. “I dunno. Lotsa reasons, I guess.”

“Reasons I oughta get mad about?”

“I dunno.” Ennis shrugged. “That part never used to matter before. You never needed a good reason to get jealous. You’d get pissed if you even thought some guy was checking me out. Now, not only was the guy definitely checking me out, but I was flirtin’ back, and you act like it’s no big deal.”

Jack stared down at him for a long, silent minute, like maybe Ennis had lost his mind, and Ennis had to agree with him. Maybe he had. He’d definitely never sounded so much like a thirteen year old girl in all his life. But just as he was about to open his mouth and say forget it, or maybe fake a heart attack, Jack smirked.

“Wait a minute. I think I get it now. You’ve got your panties all in a wad ‘cause for once in our lives I’m not throwing a jealous fit and going all possessive freak on your ass, and so now you think, what? That I don’t love you any more or some shit?”

Ennis definitely wanted the mattress to open up and swallow him. But it didn’t and Jack wasn’t about to let it go, so he blushed and squirmed some more and finally admitted, “Yeah, maybe, something like that.”

Jack grinned. “Awww honey, don’t be thinking shit like that,” he crooned, dropping his body just enough to rub maddeningly against Ennis’s. “Just ‘cause we’re all married and shit now don’t mean I don’t care what you do.” He gave Ennis a harder, not-just-teasing-anymore grind. “Trust me, I think about you all the time, miss you like you can’t even imagine when we’re apart.” Ennis gasped at the sudden goodness of the pressure between his legs, tried to push back but Jack shifted, took the lovely pressure with him and his smile fell away too.

“I know I been gone a lot these last coupla years, and I know lotsa times even when I am home, it’s almost like I ain’t ‘cause I’m holed up in the study, writing non-stop and hardly comin' up for air for days at a time.”

Ennis didn’t say anything, but yeah, that was getting old too. He knew writing was more than just a job for Jack, knew how much Jack loved the world he’d created in his head, and if they were being totally honest – which Ennis had no intention of being, by the way – he’d have to fess up to being a little bit jealous of that guy Jack was always writing about. That was the guy who was the center of Jack’s world these days. Not Ennis.

“But that’s all just me gettin’ sucked into my own life, Ennis. It don’t mean anything’s changed between you and me.” He reached up, fiddled with a button on Ennis’s shirt. “Anyway, I guess there’s a tiny little part of my brain that’s fair enough to kinda understand why you’d wanna flirt with that guy. You sure ain’t been gettin’ much attention from me lately. Plus, there’s the fact that I’ve seen your guilty face enough times to know you’re telling me the truth when you say nothing really happened.”

“Yeah, I guess I’m pretty easy to read once you know me,” Ennis conceded and Jack nodded, looked relieved as he settled back between Ennis’s legs. Neither one of them was completely hard anymore, Ennis noticed sadly, but they could get back there again, that was the easy part. Getting their hearts and their minds back right was the part that took some work.

“Yeah, Ennis, you are.” He leaned down, gave Ennis a sweet peck on the cheek, then slid sideways again till he was laying on the bed, snuggled up against Ennis’s side. He rubbed his hand on Ennis’s belly, draped his leg over Ennis’s thigh. “And now I feel like such an inconsiderate asshole, misreading all your signs and trying to force sex on you when you were having a meltdown and really just needed to talk it out and cuddle.” He dropped a loud, smacky kiss onto Ennis’s chest, right over his heart, then popped back up, all big eyes and bright, happy face. “Hey, I know. Have we still got that copy of The Notebook in the queue from when the girls were here this summer? I think they said something about The Titanic, too. I’ll go make us some popcorn, grab a box of Russell Stovers and some Kleenexes, and we can”

Ennis didn’t even want to know where Jack was going with that particular line of insanity. With a sudden roll, he put Jack flat on his back, enjoying the look of surprise on his face as he grinned up at him. “Shut the fuck up. We ain’t watching no movies and if you start crying it’s gonna be ‘cause of how good I’m suckin’ your dick, not ‘cause of something Ryan Gosling’s doing on the goddamned TV.”

“You sure we don't need to talk it out? Maybe sing Kum Bah Yah?"

Ennis flexed his hips. "Pretty sure."

"Well, ok, but just so you know, your mancred’s totally in the toilet for even knowing who’s in that movie,” Jack said, but he spread his legs and Ennis settled between them thankfully, began a slow, easy grind since Jack was soft and naked and he didn’t want to chafe him with his jeans.

“They watched it four fucking times in one weekend. I was ready to shoot the damn TV before my parents got home.” Ennis shuddered at the memory, then slid his fingers into Jack’s hair and moved in for a kiss. “Now seriously, shut up. I already lost one boner I ain’t never gettin’ back talking about serious shit. If you cost me another one, there’s gonna be hell to pay, Jack Twist.”

“Don’t bitch at me, dude, you’re the one still wearin’ clothes.”

Ennis lifted his hips, muttered, “Then make yourself fuckin’ useful,” then started kissing Jack, and finally they were on the road to where they needed to be.

* * *

Ennis had been all set to get fucked, right up to the point where he got Jack beneath him, naked and wriggling and whispering dirty shit like, “Oh God yeah, Ennis, just like that, feels so fuckin’ good,” then, “Deeper, Ennis, yeah, take it deeper, oh God yeah, suck me,” when Ennis worked his way down Jack’s chest and belly and finally got his cock in his mouth. Suddenly Ennis wanted it all, wanted to hear Jack crying out like that while his arms and legs were wrapped around Ennis’s body and it was Ennis’s dick he was begging to have deeper inside of him.

Ennis wasn’t in any hurry though, listed sucking Jack’s dick as one of his favorite pastimes, and only pulled off when Jack grabbed him by the hair and groaned, “You gotta stop or I’m gonna come.”

Ennis pulled off with a pop, made his way slow and lazy back up Jack’s body, kissing any place he might’ve missed on the way down, nuzzling his face in Jack’s body hair, taking in all the tastes and smells he’d been missing for the past few weeks. When he finally got even with Jack’s face, Jack looked blissed out and so fucking beautiful, it took Ennis’s breath away yet again.

“You gotta know,” he whispered reverently, “nobody even comes close to you. Never have. Never will.” Ennis pressed a kiss to the curl of Jack’s lip, then the little mole just above it that he loved.

“Same goes for me, Ennis.” He ran his hand up Ennis’s side, touching as he talked. “Sometimes when I’m on the road, I go out, gotta get outta the room or I’ll go stir-crazy, you know. And sometimes guys flirt with me, talk to me at bars, try to buy me drinks and shit.” He drew his bottom lip into his mouth, and Ennis watched his teeth sink in for just a second before he started talking again. “I’m not gonna say I’m not flattered. I got an ego just like everybody else, so yeah, it’s kinda cool when some good-looking dude comes up and takes a shot.”

“You ever been tempted?”

Jack’s lashes dropped and Ennis was pretty sure he knew what that meant, but he didn’t press, just held his position and waited for Jack’s answer.

“We bein’ honest here?”

“’Course.”

“Then yeah, I’ve been tempted a coupla times,” Jack admitted, his voice low and soft, just a notch above a whisper. “Not ‘cause of anything wrong between me and you, nothing like that. Guess it’s just my dick seeing things it likes and not really worrying ‘bout much of nothing else.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. There’s a part of me that feels like you oughta own all those feelings I get, but sometimes they break loose and start noticing things before I even know what’s going on.”

“I think that’s ok, Ennis, long as we don’t do nothing but look. Just means we ain’t all old and washed up yet.”

“Mmm… you definitely ain’t old and washed up,” Ennis noted, reaching down between them, slipping his fingers through Jack’s soft pubic hair and wrapping them around his cock.

“Well, maybe a little washed up. I think you just sucked about three layers of skin off my dick!”

Ennis jacked him a little faster, nipped his neck. “Sounds about right. You ready for the next course? ‘Cause I sure am.”

“You gotta ask?” Jack arched one eyebrow, then glanced down at where Ennis was holding him, hard and leaking, a dick ready for fucking if ever there was one.

“Good point.” Ennis looked at the bedside table, but suddenly Jack was holding a bottle of lube out to him.

“Get busy.”

Since Ennis was still stroking him, he sounded pretty urgent. Ennis let him go to deal with the lube and Jack canted his hips, offering his cock but Ennis squirted it on his fingers instead, slid his hand beneath Jack’s balls and right up to his hole. Jack jolted at the unexpected touch, but then let his thighs fall apart, giving Ennis the green light he wanted.

“Pretty sure it was you saying something about wanting to get fucked oh, less than an hour ago.”

Ennis slid the slick pads of his fingers over the tight furl, circling and pressing. “Yeah, but then I changed my mind.”

Jack moaned, flexed his hips to give Ennis more room to play, then said, “You know that makes you the girl in this relationship, right?”

Ennis popped two fingers in, then surged up over Jack, his cock stopping just inches from his chin. “Tell that to my fat dick, sweetheart, right before I stick it right up”

“Aww, come on, baby, don’t be so sensitive!” Jack teased, drew an arm around Ennis’s neck and pulled him down for a kiss. “It’ll be our secret, I promise,” he whispered into Ennis’s lips, and Ennis was pretty sure he couldn’t remember a happier moment as he lost himself in kisses, then slid into Jack’s body, tight squeeze around him, beautiful smile on his lover’s face, and nothing but time to make the most out of everything that was right again between them.

final part here: http://sienata.livejournal.com/200990.html

Best Friends Forever (FT) - Missing You, Part Three

2013-09-09T00:29:54Z

Shit, meet Fan...

Since Ennis was already spoiling for a fight, he had no trouble getting on board once Jack started splashing gasoline all over the place, was more than ready to fire back with angry words and accusations. “You got no right waltzing in outta fuckin’ nowhere accusing me of shit when you got nothin’ to go on except the fact that I wasn’t home when you figured I oughta be here!”

He advanced on Jack, jabbing his finger in the air, and Jack met him halfway across the floor, jaw clenched tight but his eyes weren’t hard like they got when he was really riled up. Instead they were roaming all over him, from his fitted black shirt to the expensive jeans Jack had bought him a few months back. Weird as it seemed, it was almost like Jack was checking him out. Ennis wasn’t real sure what to do with that – it went totally against the major bitchfest they had brewing – but he was too worked up to get derailed just yet so he stuck with yellin’, was in the mood to fight first anyway.

“Might come as a surprise to you, but I can go wherever the fuck I want to and I don’t gotta answer to you or my goddamn parents or anyfuckingbody else, so fuck off!”

“Shit, Ennis, you musta really got up to something tonight. Sounds like you done got yourself in trouble with every-damn-body in the family. Girls pissed at you too?” Jack stopped coming at him about two inches in front of Ennis’s face, and they stood there nose to nose and toe to toe and Ennis wanted so much of everything all at once he was surprised he didn’t just explode with it all.

“I ain’t in trouble with nobody, ‘cause I didn’t do nothing wrong! Jesus Christ! What the fuck’s up with everybody tonight? Just ‘cause I stayed out past dark, everybody thinks I’m out inventing new ways to fuck up or something.”

“Don’t think you’re inventin’ any new ones, sugar, but you sure look like you been gettin’ friendly with some old ones.” Jack took a step back, ran his fingers down the front of Ennis’s shirt, all the way down to the bottom of his fly. He let his hand linger there, rubbed a little. Ennis let him do it, didn’t have the willpower to jerk away, although he figured he was probably supposed to. “You’re wearing the clothes you always wear when you wanna be sure and get fucked when we get home. And you smell good, all fresh and clean.” He leaned back in and sniffed. “Is that cologne? Who you been trying to impress, Ennis?”

“I went out to dinner with a fuckin’ client! I got a job too, you know, and sometimes I even get to talk to real live people while I’m doing it. Might come as news to you, but I ain’t stuck in the barn all the goddamn time.”

Jack grinned, which was about the most confusing thing since he’d started feeling him up thirty seconds earlier. Ennis was almost positive his brain was gonna implode with all the fighting and fondling and general horniness of his situation.

Jack wasn’t helping at-fucking-all, standing there casually running his fingers up and down Ennis’s fly, looking like a walking wet dream in one of Ennis’s old t-shirts with the sleeves cut out, and yeah, he’d been working out while he was gone, his biceps were getting huge. He wasn’t wearing anything else but a pair of skin tight boxer briefs that were showing off every perfect bulge and Ennis was dying to lift the bottom of that t-shirt up outta the way so he could look his fill. ‘Course looking wouldn’t be nearly enough, and he needed to stop thinking about that while they were in the middle of this stupid fight.

“Ok, so now we’re gettin’ somewhere. You went out to dinner with some horse guy client of yours and I’m guessing he wanted to get in your pants, which you already knew before you went out with him.”

Ennis opened his mouth to argue about that particular wording, but Jack shook his head, quit playing around with his fly and laid a finger over Ennis’s lips to shush him. “And since you’ve been sitting around feeling all neglected and sorry for yourself, you decided to make the most of the situation, pull out all the stops and make this guy really hot for it.”

Jack tilted his head, cocked one eyebrow. “That about right?”

“What the fuck?” Ennis spat, even madder now because, seriously, how could he get all that out of that one little bit of information Ennis had told him? “Are you spying on me or something? You got a camera hidden in my truck?”

“Uh... no. It ain’t that hard to figure out, Ennis. We been together fifteen years. What kinda partner would I be if I hadn’t learned a few things about you in all that time?”

For some reason, that didn’t set well with Ennis at all. He crossed his arms over his chest and rocked back on his heels. “So I’m just an open book for you, huh? You got me all figured out.”

“Maybe not all, but I’m pretty sure you didn’t pull the trigger on nothin’ besides a little harmless flirtin’.” Jack stepped up close again and Ennis could feel his bare toes bumping against his cowboy boots, could feel Jack’s breath warm against his face. “If I’m wrong, you better tell me now.”

All the teasing was gone and Jack was back to serious, his lashes low, hiding his eyes and keeping secrets, and his pretty mouth was turned down at the corners. And suddenly that was it for Ennis – he just couldn’t keep fighting any longer. Maybe he didn’t have any secrets left, maybe Jack could read him like an open book, but who the fuck cared? Jack was there in their house with him, the thing Ennis had been craving most in all the world just twelve hours ago, and in the face of that unexpected windfall, did he really wanna welcome him home with a pointless fight because he’d caught him dead to rights not cheating? How dumb was that?

Ennis sighed, ready to have this over with five minutes ago. “Yeah, ok, fine. You got it right. Nothin’ happened.”

And nothing really had happened, not really, so Ennis felt justified in maybe telling a small white lie so that they could get to the business of making up and maybe he could finally get fucking laid. He hung his head, like he was actually ashamed of being such a loser at stepping out, but somehow that move backfired, had the exact opposite effect that he’d been shooting for. Jack arched both brows, not buying into it like Ennis had hoped, and Ennis felt the first little icicles of real dread pricking at his heart.

“Huh. Really. So what you’re saying is that you went out to dinner with a guy who wanted to fuck you, all duded up looking fuckable, and not one maybe kinda uncool thing happened that you might wanna tell me about?”

Kendall had sucked up all the story-telling skills in their family and left Ennis with absolutely zero. He couldn’t lie his way out of a wet paper bag if his life depended on it. Especially not with Jack looking at him all stern and serious business, like he already knew all the answers and if Ennis didn’t spill his guts pronto, the shit he was already drowning in was going to get a whole lot deeper.

Ennis shifted and squirmed, and his dick started perking up, which made no sense at all but that was his dick in a nutshell – not real smart. “Nothin’ much,” he mumbled, but since Jack was standing within earshot of his goddamn thoughts, he sure wasn’t going to miss some actual spoken words.

“Define much.” Jack crossed his arms over his chest, and Ennis fidgeted some more.

“It wasn’t nothin’ to worry about, I promise. I didn’t want what he was offerin’, so I came home. No big deal.”

Ennis reached for him, but Jack wasn’t ready for that yet, took a step back and gave him a strong dose of the stink eye. “So tell me what happened that I don’t need to be worryin’ about. Just so I can not worry, you know.”

“Fuck, Jack, seriously, it was nothin’.” As many inquisitions as Ennis had endured in his life time, they still made him crazy. He started pacing nervously in front of the coffee table, ran the fingers of one hand through his hair. “We had some beers, ate dinner, he showed me a video of his horse, he let me know he was up for more if I wanted it, I didn’t and I left.”

Jack eased off the hostility a degree or two, but it was obvious he still wasn’t satisfied. “So fine. If that’s all that happened, how come you’re about to blow a fuckin' gasket about it? Huh?”

Ennis had no answer for that.

“I didn’t just fall off a turnip truck, Ennis. I know you’re fuckin’ holdin’ out on me. Now tell me the goddamn rest of it. You gave me hell for three weeks about that fucking construction worker. Least you can do is be honest about this now. If it really ain’t nothin’ to it, I’ll let it go, but you know I don’t like not knowing shit.”

And that made it real, more than just an aggravation or a made-up fight just to be fighting. Ennis had almost given up on them when Jack had just thought about cheating. Now Jack was the one on the outside, didn’t know where Ennis’s head was at, if he was just being stupid for one night or if he was really thinking about trying some new guy on for size, and Ennis knew what that felt like. It wasn’t cool at all.

Ennis stopped fidgeting then, jammed his hands in his pockets, looked Jack straight in the eye and filled in the blanks. “Fine. He invited me up to his room to watch a horse video on his laptop and I went, and after the video was over he showed me some pictures of his dick, then he put his hands on me and that was it, I was outta there after that. That’s the end of it.”

Instead of looking pissed off, Jack just gaped, surprised. “He showed you pictures of his dick?”

“Yeah.”

“Like, homemade porn or something?” Anybody’d think he’d never heard of such a thing before, that maybe he was the one spending ninety percent of his time in a barn in the backwoods of Bumfuck.

“Yeah, Jack, don’t you have some pictures of your dick on your computer?”

“Uhh… no, but I got pictures of yours.” He actually grinned a little at that and Ennis felt like he could finally breathe again. Maybe this wasn’t going to kill them after all.

“Shit!”

“So that’s really all that happened, huh? You just looked at the pictures, got felt up a little, and then beat feet outta there? You didn’t get turned on and tempted to stay?” He was easing up into Ennis’s personal space again, but the whole feel of things was different now. Ennis figured he was still gonna have to cough up some more details, but only because Jack liked to hear all the nitty gritty stuff. It seemed like Jack really believed him now and the mortal danger was mostly past.

“Well, maybe a little bit turned on. It’s been a while since I got any action. I’m just a man, Jack, you gotta know how that is.”

Jack touched him again, slipped his hand over Ennis’s hip, leaned in and sniffed his neck for like the third time that night, then nipped him. “Yeah, I know exactly what it’s like to be dyin’ to get laid, Ennis. So what was the problem, wasn’t big enough for you?”

Ennis huffed, decided if Jack could touch, so could he and slid his hands over Jack’s slim hips. It almost made him light-headed, how good it felt to be touching him again. “Shut up. You know that ain’t it. Besides, you’re the size queen in this relationship, not me. He was hung. I just wasn’t interested.”

Jack’s eyes sparked at that, salacious fucker that he was. “Hung? Like how hung?”

“What difference does it make? We ain’t inviting him over, so if you’re thinking about that you can just forget that shit right now!”

“Awww… come on, now. Don’t be that way. You got to see it. Ain’t fair I don’t get to, too.” Jack shifted his hips, rubbed their dicks together. “Least you can do is tell me about it.”

“Jesus fuck.” Ennis grumbled, but there was that text with the attachment. “You really wanna see it?”

If Jack was caught off guard by the offer, he covered it well, didn’t miss a beat actually. “Duh. ‘Course I do. I like big dicks as much as anybody.”

Ennis just rolled his eyes, but he pulled one hand – only one – off Jack’s ass long enough to pull out his phone. “I swear to God, your fuckin’ dick is still seventeen years old.”

“Yeah, and you’ll be thanking God for that in about five minutes. Show me what you got,” Jack breathed, all up in Ennis’s business, grinding harder on Ennis’s dick, making him almost drop his phone.

“Fuck, hang on.” He brushed the wrong icon with his thumb, accidentally brought up his email, got it closed out and finally found his texts. Troy’s attachment took a few seconds to open, and Ennis took advantage of the delay, running his fingers up and down the crack of Jack’s ass while they waited. No point in wasting an opportunity, after all.

The picture popped open. “Damn, dude, you walked out on that?” Jack was gawking at Ennis’s phone and Ennis snuck another peek to make sure it was the same picture that he’d seen before. It was. He recognized Troy’s stubby fingers holding his cock out on display.

“Yeah, Jack, I did. He ain’t got nothing I want, I promise you.” He pressed a gentle kiss against the corner of Jack’s mouth, then drug his lips back to Jack’s ear to whisper smartly, “’Sides, I heard he was a bottom. I’m kinda in the mood to get fucked tonight.”

Jack sucked in a breath, and the gentle grip on Ennis’s arm turned to steel. “Good goddamn thing, ‘cause I’m plannin’ to fuck your lights out startin’ in about ten seconds. If your ass ain’t in the bed, I’m doing it right here on the goddamn floor, and I ain’t going looking for any lube.”

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Best Friends Forever (FT) - Missing You, Part Two

2013-09-09T00:23:00Z

Moving right along...

The bar was nothing fancy, just a basic hotel bar with a sports theme tacked on as an after-thought. Troy was at the bar, blue jeans this time that showed off heavy-muscled thighs and a prominent bulge between them, which Ennis noticed and then spent the rest of the evening trying not to think about. Troy was a decent guy and they had enough in common to keep the conversation light and easy over beers and a shared plate of wings, then burgers and fries. Ennis enjoyed the company, enjoyed not being alone in his house again for the umpteenth night in a row, but around eight-thirty he decided it was time to go. He wasn’t there for anything but a little harmless ego-boosting, and he’d gotten that in spades. Troy had worked in plenty of looks and touches and more than a few very obvious innuendoes. Ennis could go home and jack off and think about that bulge and those thighs and feel a little bit guilty but not much, because he knew Jack had plenty of porn on his computer. Ennis wasn’t the only guy he got off to, not by a long shot.

Then he could go to work in the morning and look his dad straight in the eye and say “Nothing happened,” which would be the very first thing on his dad’s agenda without a doubt. Then life would go on and Jack would finally come home and everything would be fine until the next time he had some sort of stupid crisis. Life was a balance. He’d heard that forever, but was only just now finally starting to figure it out for himself.

It was a great plan up until Troy ordered two more beers, told the bartender to put it all on his room, then steered Ennis towards the elevator. “Come up with me for a minute. I wanna show you this great video I got of Corona at the summer trials up in Oklahoma City. He was incredible!” and somehow Ennis found himself holding a beer – his fifth – and riding up in an elevator to a hotel room he’d never intended to see.

The room was small, crowded with a king-sized bed, dresser and some other piece of furniture Ennis finally decided was a refrigerator even though it didn’t look like one at all. There was a small desk in one corner and a big chair with an ottoman in the other, and that’s where Troy sat, put the laptop down on the footstool and started looking for his video. With no other way to see the screen, other than sit in Troy’s lap and that was not happening, Ennis perched on the arm of the chair and leaned over his shoulder. True to his word, Troy keyed up a video and they watched the horse Ennis had trained work the ring like a champ, and Ennis got so caught up in it that he actually forgot for a minute that the shoulder under his hand belonged to a man who wanted to fuck him.

He got reminded when the video ended and Troy said, “Got something else here you might like to see,” and clicked again and the horse disappeared and instead there was a picture of Troy and his dick. It was hard, and it lived up to every bit of promise that bulge in his jeans had made earlier. Ennis suddenly felt like his tongue was glued to the roof of his mouth and his ass was glued to the arm of the chair. He knew he should move or say something, or both, but for the moment he could do neither, and Troy clicked through a few more pictures, talking matter-of-factly the whole time, like they weren’t at least semi-considering up-ending their working relationship and destroying Ennis’s life in the process.

“Check it out, Ennis,” he said, still facing the computer, confident that he had Ennis’s undivided attention. “Word on the street is you don’t play around, but I figure you’re just quiet about it. Saw a picture of him on the back of one of his books. Don’t imagine a guy as pretty as that’s keepin’ it in his pants all the time. You might as well get a little action too.”

He pushed the ottoman away, turned around and ran his hand right up Ennis’s thigh, not stopping till his fingers were pushing up against his crotch. He tipped his head towards the bed, looking sly and hopeful all at the same time. “Wanna go a coupla rounds? I can keep a secret as good as the next guy. Won’t nobody be hearin’ about it from me, Ennis, I swear.”

He flexed his fingers and Ennis felt them rub against his balls and he knew he had about two seconds to do something before things got out of hand. “Oh shit,” was all he could think of to say and instead of backing off, Troy decided to up the press. He slid his hand up the rest of the way, till it was a warm and heavy weight covering Ennis’s crotch, and while it felt all kinds of good, when Ennis dropped his head to see, it looked all kinds of wrong. Troy’s fingers were thick and a little on the short side, not long and slim like Jack’s, and there was no wedding band on his ring finger because he wasn’t married and Ennis was. This wasn’t Jack, and this wasn’t just harmless flirting anymore. He was getting hard under another man’s hand and that wasn’t cool. It was time to go.

“I can’t do this, Troy. I gotta go,” he said, easing back, pushing Troy’s hand back and trying to get off the chair and away without ending up on his ass in the floor. Troy didn’t give up easy, let him up but then followed him to the door with more promises of secrecy and a good time, and even though Ennis kept moving, he couldn’t help but remember Jack and that construction dude he’d had the hots for back when they were building the house. Ennis knew nothing had happened, but it hadn’t been because Jack hadn’t wanted it too. It had been because Ennis had figured it out and got in the middle of it before it was too late. And that was just the one time he knew about. It probably wasn’t the only time Jack had been tempted.

But they were married now, and Jack wore his ring all the time and Ennis had never gotten even the slightest sense that he wasn’t happy or satisfied. Ennis was the one having the meltdown, but cheating wouldn’t fix anything because being tired of Jack wasn’t the problem. Missing Jack was, and Troy and his dick couldn’t do a damn thing to help with that.

“I’m flattered and all, but no thanks, man. I gotta go.” Troy was going to say more but Ennis didn’t wait around to hear it. He let himself out and practically ran down the hallway, was never so glad in all his life to see elevator doors close behind him. The fact that he was still hard made him pissed as hell and he wondered how long it would be before he could even touch his dick without feeling like a total sleaze.

So much for guilt-free pleasures.

* * *

Ennis stopped at an Exxon for a bottle of water and a pack of gum to take the edge off all the beer he’d drunk, then checked his phone while he gassed up his truck. He had a text message from Troy with an attachment that he wasn’t about to open, along with two from his mom. The most recent said, Your dad said you’ve gone out and that we should be worried. What’s up? The second said, Here’s the clip of Jack’s interview in Boston this morning, and included a link to a YouTube video. Ennis started to click on that one but the gas pump shut off and he decided he’d wait till he got home and could watch it on something bigger than his phone. If he couldn’t see Jack in person, at least he could watch him on their TV.

* * *

The house was dark when he parked in the driveway, and Ennis fought off the devil in his mind that whispered he could be getting laid right now, not going into an empty house to watch a four minute video clip of his husband, then going to bed alone. Again.

It wasn’t that he was sorry he’d left the hotel, he wasn’t, and he knew he would’ve been really sorry if he hadn’t left, but still, he was a guy and his dick was lonely and his ass was feeling neglected and pathetic. Sometimes he actually looked forward to the day when he was finally too old to think about sex all the fucking time. Unfortunately, that day probably wasn’t coming any time soon, and he’d already decided he was going to jack off, screw Jack and Troy and every-fucking-body else. What he did with his dick when nobody else was around was nobody’s business but his own.

Ennis slammed the front door and stomped through the house to the kitchen for yet another beer and a shot of whiskey too, because why the fuck not, it had been a fucking stupid night and maybe he needed to get drunk. He took the beer and the whiskey back into the living room and after hitting the buttons on half a dozen remotes, he had Jack’s YouTube up on the screen.

The woman interviewing him was somewhere between forty and a hundred. Ennis didn’t trust his guesses with women on TV anymore after he found out Barbara Walters age. She looked like a mannequin, all plastic and perfect, but the way she looked at Jack was all real-live woman, flirty and making sure he got a good view of her cleavage. Jack smiled and shifted in his chair, which made her smile even bigger. They’d covered his book during this little mating dance, and she moved onto his personal life right about the time Ennis figured her panties were getting wet.

“So, Jack, I know all the girls out there will be sorry to hear you’re off the market. You just recently married your high school sweetheart?” She said it like a question, which Ennis thought was weird, like maybe she hadn’t done any serious homework on Jack. And the “How romantic!” she tacked on at the end was totally fake.

Jack smiled some more, acted like she was being completely sincere and not a jealous bitch who wanted to fuck him but just found out that maybe she couldn’t. “Well, it was actually a coupla years ago now, but yeah, we’ve been together since we were seniors in high school. We got married on a beach out in Monterey. It was pretty awesome.”

“That’s wonderful,” she lied. It made the lines stand out around her mouth, Ennis noticed. “Congratulations! Any little ones yet?”

Jack leaned back in his chair, looking completely at ease, like he wasn’t feeling weird at all about discussing his personal life in front of the whole fucking world. “Nah, we’re probably not gonna have any. His folks adopted two beautiful girls a few years back, so we’re already set with a great family, and they’ll probably hook us up with some nieces and nephews here in a few years.”

The Queen B. of the Boston morning shows was kinda gaping at him, so Jack took advantage of the empty air time and grinned and waved at the camera. “Hey Megan. Hey Mallory.” He looked back at her and shrugged. “Sorry. They made me swear to say hi if I got on TV.”

“Oh, that’s quite all right.” She smiled again, awkward this time, glanced back at her notes, then tilted her head to look from the camera to him. “I’m sorry, but did I just hear you refer to your spouse as a he?” Yep, completely clueless.

“Yeah, you did.” Jack grinned, totally unconcerned that he was outing them both to the whole damn world. Not that it was really a secret, but there were probably still a few people left out there who didn’t know. But not anymore.

“Oh my.” She cleared her throat, got herself back together pretty fast, Ennis had to admit, considering she was obviously out of the loop. “Well, congratulations then! And his name is…?”

“Ennis. Ennis del Mar. He’s a horse trainer.”

“Ahh, a cowboy! How exciting!” She fidgeted in her chair and Ennis rolled his eyes at the screen. “Well, that’s wonderful. I wish you two a very happy life together!”

“Thanks. We’re actually doing pretty good with that, except for how I’m here in Boston and he’s back home in Arkansas.” Jack shrugged again, gave her his shy, bashful grin, and she nodded like he was explaining the secrets of world peace. “I like travelin’ and all, but you know how it is. It gets tough after a while. I’ve been on the road for almost a month now. Bet he’s probably getting pretty lonesome.”

When he said that, he fucking winked at her and she blushed under goddamn ten tons of make-up and Ennis figured if she didn’t come in her Victoria Secret’s panties right then and there, she would later replaying the tape. What the fuck ever. Ennis had had enough.

He punched off the video and reached for the bottle of whiskey, anger and guilt mixing up with the liquor, spinning up a nasty brew. “Yeah, lonesome’s a word for it, you motherfucker, so why the fuck don’t you get your ass back home and do something about it?”

“Fuck you, Ennis! I’ve been right here waiting on you all fucking night, busted my ass to get here once I realized they didn’t have me coming home for two more weeks,” said a voice out of the darkness that had Ennis squawking like a startled hen and almost jumping out of his skin, till it finally sunk in that it was Jack. He whipped around, staring at the spot in the gloom till Jack appeared, stepping from the night-dark hallway into the living room, all warm and real and more than a little pissed off.

“So you wanna tell me where the fuck you been?” he asked, looking Ennis up and down suspiciously. “And don’t even bother telling me you were out getting a beer with Joe. You couldn’t look no more guilty if I’d caught you bent over the couch with some piece a strange riding your ass, so that lie ain’t gonna cut it tonight.”

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