A land of myth ...

Troubles

2017-06-30T11:03:08Z

So for like the past 3 years I've been hosting my images for various things on Photobucket, only for today over half my stuff get replaced with a "update your account to allow 3rd party hosting".

It's really annoying, not mainly because everything I have is on there, so the background images for the merlin reverse comms got deleted, my artwork for merlin reverse, icons, banners and who knows how much else -- and I don't know if more is going to get blocked, but it's a pretty depressing prospect to have to go and reupload everything and replace the links ...

I've backed up like 3 things on LJ now, is that generally where people do it or do you have other sites? My main thing is that it's free, I have 0 money to pay for subscriptions!!

*bashes head against wall* -- fantastic.

Promo: Coinelot Auction

2017-04-25T01:10:07Z

So I've been very absent, but here I'm quickly dropping in to promote the Coinelot fandom auction happening 30th April. There's some fantastic stuff, so check it out!!

I've put up two lots for original music/compositions here.There's lots of other (much more exciting) lots, buy nows and prompts there too! :)

A fandom auction to help finance the second Merthur OTP Convention.
To visit the Auction and/or learn more about it, click the banner.
For more information on COiNELOT, visit @coinelot on tumblr.

The year ahead and other such stuff ...

2017-01-02T06:50:19Z

So it's 2017? The end of the year crept up on me and I'm still a little surprised when I see the date!

I've been a little quiet recently fandom-wise, generally because I've had some big changes RL-wise and well ... things have changed. I dropped out of a couple of fests and currently I'm not intending on signing up for any this coming year (although, After Camlann might tempt me). I really want to focus on the novel I'm writing and it's a mix of uni, life, sleep ... you get the picture!

I'm still definitely around for merlin_reverse and incredibly excited to be modding - it's going to be fantastic!! But my personal creation of fanworks is sort of on pause for the next while which is sad, but I need to get some things strightened out.

--

I've backed up my LJ on Deamwidth, where I'm currently posting and cross-posting. I'm not really sure what the whole server move thing means exactly, but better to be safe than sorry!

--

Otherwise, wishing you all a happy and wonderful new year!

Monthly Fic Recs : September

2016-09-30T10:25:40Z

Well, first off, there's no way I can list them all because ACBB flooded me with reading material and my list of recs would legitimately go on forever.

So first off, if for some reason you've been living under a rock, go and see all the amazing fanwork over at aftercamlann!

September Fic Recs

The Test of Honor - Rawks (AO3) Merlin/Arthur, 297k
Merlin loses Freya and is off-kilter for a while. When a monster appears he misses a crucial piece of information which Prince Arthur is able to uncover. Things seem to go south when Merlin's magic is revealed. But as the stakes change with the arrival of King Galorian, Arthur has a change of heart. He begins to break away from his father's reign and acknowledges magic for what it is. Merlin's priority remains his devotion to Arthur, and he will do everything to prove it.

This monster kept me occupied for a good few days but it was sooo worth it! I loved the s2 twist and Merlin and Arthur relationship the most.

If You Will Be My Bodyguard - Tari_Sue (AO3) Merlin/Arthur, 43k
If there is one thing that gets drummed into the heads of the kids around these parts, it’s this: Stay Away from Cenred Cole. If only boys would learn to listen to their mothers.
When Merlin Emrys witnesses the murder of his best friend, his life suddenly changes completely. Will is gone, and Merlin and Hunith are given new identities and relocated under the Witness Protection Scheme to a sleepy town in rural Gloucestershire.
Everything is different now, from his new job and friends to pursuing his love of art and the blond god who lives down stairs. But Will's murderers are ever lurking at the back of his mind, and he can't help thinking that some day soon they will track him down.
If only he really did have magic…

I loved Merlin's voice in this. The plot was really great and the characters handled really well.

The School of Merlin - Aelys_Althea (AO3) Gen, 175k
Merlin has a secret. A secret he knows he must guard with his life because most of the world won't understand. They'll think him Bad, Evil, Dark. So he keeps it hidden.
Unfortunately, secrets have a way of getting out.
In a world of magic, a world of learning that magic, of embracing it and exploring the wonders it can perform, Merlin is different. He's always been different, and that difference could be dangerous if he lets it run untethered and raging. What better solution could there be than to learn to tame his wayward power?
No one ever told him that school could be so terrifying, and that was to say nothing of the people there.

I don't usually try out crossovers but I'm glad I did this one. The whole thing was beautifully done, especially blending canon s1 and th world of Hogwarts together. It worked soooo well!

The Dragon Rises - Footloose (AO3) Merlin/Arthur, 123k
If Into the Badlands met The Once and Future King, this is the story that would be told:
Merlin has three strikes against him: he's one of the last surviving members of the grove of Ironwood, he's renowned as the dread sorcerer Emrys, and there's a large reward hanging over his head like Damocles' sword. After decades of running, there's nowhere left to go. His dream of peace -- Ironwood's dream -- seems impossible to achieve until he meets the young son of a thane whose greatest secret is a traitorous desire for more than the tyranny that runs rampant throughout the Kingdoms of Albion.
It was disaster that brought the world to this. It's war that will cleanse it of its sins. But it is prophecy that heralds the day when the guardian of the realm can wear his mantle once again, and when the King of Kings will rise to take the throne that is rightly his.

I loved the world-building here and the Merlin/Arthur relationship was so perfect.

Bringing on the Great - Detochkina (AO3) Merlin/Arthur, 18k
Arthur Pendragon has been on the fast track to Olympic success since childhood, fellow teammate and rival Merlin Emrys keeping Arthur on his toes. Between dueling fathers, doting mothers, and a media frenzy—there’s no room for error in Rio, let alone a romantic relationship. But when Merlin tries to confide to Arthur a secret, one linked to their shared pasts, Arthur needs to decide if his history with Merlin is worth more than gold.

OLYMPICS and MERTHUR and YES! This was gorgeously done.

Between Memory and Water - Camelittle (AO3) Merlin/Arthur, 23k
Merlin's world implodes when the Prince of Wales staggers back into his life—broken, in pain and on the run.

One of those fics which I can't understand why I haven't found it before?!! I absolutely loved it, received all the thumbs up from me!

The Mirror, The Sword and The Shield - aelora (AO3) Merlin/Arthur, 62k
Fate is a fickle mistress – or rather, the Fates are. When the Wyrd Sisters offer Nimueh a second chance to fulfill her destiny, she takes the opportunity to seek revenge on Merlin. When Uther enters the equation, Nimueh's victory seems certain. Loyalties and allegiances are tested, making Merlin question the lengths that Arthur will go to in order to protect him. Through daring escapes, attempted coups, and fierce battles, Merlin and Arthur discover that the twisting threads of fate are not easily understood, and that the webs they spin cannot be readily escaped.

A Box of Magic fic so we're going wayyy back here! Really, really loved the post-s1 twist, the Merlin/Arthur relationship, and the Arthur and Uther exchanges. The characterisation is just spot on here.

--
Currently Reading
Your Wings - narlth

The Dregs of Albion - aelys_althea

And I have a 'To Read' list about as long as my arm.

--
Currently Writing
winterknights fic

reel_merlin fic

First, the Heart - (LJ) Merlin/Arthur

Various AUs

Reader needed

2016-09-23T22:06:31Z

So I have a preliminary draft for winterknights and wondered if someone would be willing to look it over? No SPAG skills necessary, just reading and giving me your thoughts :)

For one reason or another I'm not entirely happy with it, but would like someone else's opinion as whether to edit what I've got or start over.

It's less than 2k, Merlin/Arthur, fairly angsty, modern!AU.

Fic: First, the Heart (Chapter Two)

2016-09-21T15:06:59Z

Title: First, the Heart
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur
Characters: Ensemble cast
Word count: 3268 of 9122

Summary: He tried not to look like he was too affected, tried to maintain his cool, calm – cruel – aura that he’d spent so many years perfecting.
But something slipped and jarred, harsh and painful, in his heart.

Prologue - Chapter One

Chapter Two : Where Loyalties Lie

.1
Arthur stepped through the doors to the warehouse, his eyes scanning up and along the long rows of tall shelves, stacked with masses of boxes and containers.

The space was brightly illuminated and there was an irritating buzz from a malfunctioning light.

Arthur sniffed, and tried not to seem too unimpressed.

He’d seen Green’s resume, after all. The man was capable of more than this.

The warehouse manager eyed him distrustfully, but had no reason to withhold entry. Arthur had his papers, everything was in order.

And at any rate, he only wanted to talk with Green.

“He’ll be in aisle eleven,” the manager grunted, signing off Arthur’s documents with an untidy scrawl.

“Many thanks,” Arthur replied cheerfully before sweeping past the man towards aisle eleven.

He stopped at the end, looking down to find Green methodically lifting boxes of a forklift pallet and stacking them on the lower shelves.

Arthur didn’t much care as to what they contained, even though his sources suggested that the warehouse was running a fine trade in illegally imported fake designer ware.

Leave that to the law. Arthur had other agendas.

He walked purposefully down the aisle, stopping short when, without looking up, Green spoke.

“I don’t know where he is. There’s no point asking me anything.”

There was a scowl on the man’s face.

“Mr Green, I don’t believe we’ve been introduced. I’m-,”

“I know who you are,” Green responded, angrily shoving a box further back on the shelf. “Pendragon.” He spat the word like it was a bad taste in his mouth.

Arthur gave a tight smile. Green was clever, there was no denying it.

“Then you probably understand why I’ve come then,” he responded.

For the first time, Green looked up and met his gaze. There was something triumphant in the other’s man’s eyes.

“Wasted journey.”

“I highly doubt that,” Arthur replied smoothly.

He pulled one of his gloves off and ran a finger along the edge of a dusty shelf.

“It’s a bit of a dump here, isn’t it? Beat’s me why you’d choose to work in a place like this.”

He pointedly pulled out a silk handkerchief and wiped his finger clean.

“But then again, it pays to keep a low profile when your friend’s a wanted criminal.” Arthur watched Green closely, waiting for the smallest of reactions.

Green scowled and went back to kicking boxes into place.

“I’m sure I can pull some strings,” Arthur continued. “A man of your calibre shouldn’t be stuck in a place like this. You deserve more.”

“You think I can be bought?” Green snapped.

“I think anyone can be bought, for the right price,” Arthur replied.

Gwaine paused in what he was doing, staring at Arthur almost disbelievingly. Then he snorted derisively and lifted up a box to a higher shelf.

“You have no idea what kind of man you’re dealing with,” Green muttered.

“Gwaine Green. Twenty-seven years old. Went to Edderdale Grammar School, but dropped out in your fifth year despite excellent marks. Left your home picking up odd jobs here and there, none of them enough to stimulate that brilliant mind of yours, but all of them within walking distance of locations where Merlin Emrys is known to hide. You’ve followed every whisper about your friend, trying to keep him safe, despite the fact that he has never contacted you, never shown he cares, never given a moment’s thought about his old school friend. You’ve given up a lot, Gwaine, perhaps now is the time to take something back?”

If Gwaine was unsettled by Arthur’s extensive knowledge, he didn’t show it.

Instead, a satisfied smirk wound its way onto his face.

“I didn’t mean me,” he said, and then abruptly turned his back on Arthur.

Wrong-footed for the briefest moment, it took a beat for Arthur’s brain to catch up with what Gwaine had meant. Then he scowled.

Swiftly, he stepped forward, crowding Green up against the shelves and knocking a pile of boxes over, the contents scattering over the floor.

“Go on then,” Green snarled, his hands balled into fists. “Arrest me, take me in, force Merlin out of hiding by playing on his loyalties. That’s what this is all about isn’t it? I wouldn’t expect anything less of a Pendragon.”

Arthur set his jaw.

“Well if you won’t play nice-,”

“He left, you know?” Gwaine spat. “Dead of night. We wake up and he’s gone. Gone because he doesn’t want us to get hurt and he has this ridiculous hero complex where he thinks it’s his job to save everyone. Gone because he cares. Now to a Pendragon, that may seem like a weakness, but to me he is the most selfless and brave man I’ve ever met and whatever you do – capture him, take his magic, kill him – you will never, ever be even half the man that he is.”

Gwaine’s words stunned Arthur into silence.

And – far more than he would like to admit – they struck home.

He tried not to look like he was too affected, tried to maintain his cool, calm – cruel – aura that he’d spent so many years perfecting.

But something slipped and jarred, harsh and painful, in his heart.

He had nothing to say.

Roughly pushing Gwaine away he spun on his heel and left, his actions obviously surprising Gwaine as much as they did himself because Gwaine left no parting shot ringing in his ears.

Arthur almost wished he had. It was somewhat easier to hate, than to have to face up to the truth.

.2
The previous night
Merlin didn’t know what he’d expected of Mordred’s mysterious summons in the night.

His natural instinct would have been to ignore the strange voice in his head, roll over and go back to sleep, and part of him was still very much surprised at the fact that he hadn’t.

He put it down to the desire to protect his friends. It came above all else.

And whether Mordred’s promise was true or not, they were safest when he wasn’t around.

Gwaine would call him self-sacrificing. Gwen would optimistically search for alternatives. Percival would sit back, knowing there was nothing he could do. Lance would stay silent, perhaps understanding.

Beyond that, though, there was the smallest, faintest spark in him that really did want to help. To fight. Over the years he’d convinced himself a better future was just a dream. But maybe …

Mordred was waiting at the corner, the hood of his jacket pulled low over his face and a dark scarf wrapped tightly around his neck.

From what Merlin glimpsed of his face, he was surprised to see Mordred was younger than him. Pale blue eyes gleamed from the shadow, a for a moment, Merlin thought he caught something like disappointment cross Mordred’s face.

“Mordred?” He asked, the word sounding strange spoke out loud.

“Merlin.”

Merlin quirked an eyebrow.

“Do you never speak out loud?”

A small smirk crossed Mordred’s face.

“You never know who might be listening in.”

“Right…”

Merlin stuffed his hands into his pockets. It was cold this time of year, and he hadn’t left the warmth of his bed to join Mordred on a cold street corner.

“We should go,” Mordred said abruptly and spun on his heel, leaving Merlin to catch up.

The journey was a silent one, both physically and mentally.

Mordred led Merlin on a circuitous route through the city, preferring the darkened side streets to the main roads where late-night wanderers still lingered.

They dipped below ground briefly, heading into the city’s disused subway system, and Mordred conjured a bright white orb to illuminate their way.

His magic felt cold, Merlin noted. Nothing like the familiar warmth of his own, and he let his own magic curl around his core defensively.

Climbing from the tunnels some time later, there was then only a few streets left before they arrived at a seemingly non-descript house in a row of similar non-descript terraced houses.

Mordred placed his hand against the door and the wood around his hand glimmered faintly red before the door clicked open.

Stepping over the threshold, Merlin shivered as he crossed the wards.

The house was not a long way off derelict. Cream wallpaper, stained brown and black in places, peeled of the walls. The paint on the ceiling was cracked and mould lingered in the corners.

A single bare bulb illuminated the hallway, rickety stairs covered in muddied carpet leading upwards, one closed door on the right, another at the end of the hall, past the stairs open a fraction onto darkness beyond.

Mordred shrugged out of his jacket, revealing a mop of dark curly hair, and hung it up on the dubiously stable coat rack by the door.

After gesturing for Merlin to do the same, he brushed past him, taking the stairs two at a time and disappearing into the gloom.

Merlin kept his jacket on. The night was cold and the house did little to warm him up.

He stood awkwardly in front of the door, unsure of what to do.

Deciding eventually that Mordred wasn’t going to reappear any time soon, he tried the door to the right only to jerk his hand back, barely withholding a yelp. The brass door handle had burned his skin and he flapped his hand a little to ease the pain.

Obviously he wasn’t allowed in there.

He made tentative steps towards the door at the end of the corridor, his footsteps muffled by the filthy carpet.

Gingerly pushing the door open further, he peered into the dark. Unable to see even the faintest sign of anything in there, he summoned a small yellow light into his palm, the glow stretching out to illuminate the room.

Nothing.

Stained carpet. The décor in much the same state of disrepair at the hall. A mattress with the springs falling out in places shoved up against one wall and a table with a broken leg standing in the corner.

He almost felt let down.

Looking back down the corridor he wondered what exactly the house was being used for. An eerie silence hung over everything, and for a beat, Merlin was tempted to simply turn around and walk right out of there.

“Emrys. Stop lingering and get upstairs. The food’s nearly ready.”

He jumped at the sound of Mordred’s voice, loud and impatient in his head.

Doubts settled, he took the stairs up onto the landing.

In the faint light from the hall below he could make out three doors, their paintwork chipped and battered. One stood open, revealing a bathroom, a second was closed and Merlin knew better than to try to open it, a third was open a crack, revealing a sliver of light.

He tentatively pushed the door open.

Conversation was quickly stifled as four people turned to look at him.

Mordred was there, slouched in a threadbare armchair with a girl in his lap.

She was plain, brown hair handing limply around her face, but her eyes narrowed with something akin to dislike.

There was another boy with short, flat hair and eyes that regarded Merlin a little warily.

And another girl. Dark hair, dark eyes. She was the only one to smile.

“Shut the door, you’re letting the cold air in,” Mordred groused. Merlin shot him a bit of a scowl, but did as he said anyway. He could, after all, feel the breeze at his back.

“Merlin,” Mordred said, deigning to speak out loud. “This is Kara.” He indicated the girl in his lap. “Gilli. And Freya.”

“Right.” Merlin shifted his weight from foot to foot. “Nice to meet you all.”

Freya’s smile widened a little more, but she didn’t say anything.

Gilli shrugged and went back to poking the camping stove in front of him, some form of watery stew in the bowl on top.

Kara tilted her head on one side.

“I expected … something more.” She pronounced.

Merlin blinked, a little taken aback. “Er. Sorry?”

Mordred snorted.

“Sit down, Emrys. Make yourself comfortable.”

Mordred and Kara had taken the only seat in the room. Freya was perched on a threadbare cushion and Gilli was sat on a balled up coat, rocking forward to check if the gas was still working.

Merlin dropped to the floor, the lumpy, sticky carpet anything but comfortable, but he guessed he should at least try to make himself at home.

For a moment, the cold realisation that he had absolutely no idea what he’d got himself into swept over him and a shiver ran down his spine.

But then Mordred started talking and he forced himself to pay attention. He’d wanted this, hadn’t he? Might as well make the best of it.

“We won’t be staying in this dump long, Emrys, don’t worry.” His tone was disdainful and Gilli frowned, but didn’t respond. “Yourself, Kara and I will be heading over to headquarters first thing in the morning.”

“Headquarters?” Merlin asked.

“Everyone’s dying to meet you,” Kara said. “That was quite a stunt you pulled with Aredian today.”

Merlin ducked his head, not liking the way Kara’s gaze seemed to bore into him.

He’d known there would be repercussions. One didn’t create the magical equivalent of an air-raid siren and then just carry on with normal life.

But at the time it’d been the only thing he could do.

“I was just trying to protect my friends,” he said quietly.

“Then think of how you can use your talents to better uses,” Kara said, a bit of a gleam in her eye.

Merlin’s head snapped up.

“I’m here for them,” he said. “To keep them safe.”

“Kara,” Mordred said, a hint of warning in his tone.

Kara turned her head to look at Mordred, and Merlin presumed they must be conversing telepathically.

He rubbed at his eyes with the heels of his hands and tried to clarify why it was exactly he’d given up a perfectly good night’s sleep for this.

“Sorry, Merlin,” Kara said suddenly. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Of course,” Mordred added. “When we’re free, they’ll be no need to keep your friends safe. That’s what Kara meant.”

Merlin got up, nodding distractedly at whatever it was Mordred had said.

“Is there a bed somewhere? I’d like to sleep.”

“You’re not hungry?” Gilli asked, looking mildly put out.

The memory of the rich, lasagne Gwen had cooked for them all earlier that evening flashed before his eyes and Merlin’s stomach ached. But not for food.

“No. Thanks. I already ate.”

Ignoring Gilli’s slightly hurt look, he followed Mordred out of the room and into the other one on the landing. Apparently not all the door handles were cursed, but Merlin didn’t have the energy to demand why the one downstairs was.

One bed and a couple of mattresses. Mordred handed him a sleeping bag that appeared at least somewhat clean

Not bothering to even take his coat off, Merlin huddled down in the sleeping bag, watching his breath mist the air in front of him.

Maybe he should just go back to Gwen and Lance’s the next day. Tell Mordred he wasn’t interested.

But both curiosity and fear tempted him to stay. Curiosity in what exactly Mordred’s people were capable of. Curiosity in what kind of world they could build. And fear, that if he left he’d put his friends in danger. That ‘they’ would find him and he’d have to run again. Fear that he wouldn’t be able to save them all. Just like with Will.

“Sleep well,” Mordred said, letting the door snap shut behind him.

Merlin was out like a light.

.3
They called Aredian the Witchfinder for obvious reasons.

Arthur had never liked the man, which was partly due to the fact he seemed to outshine Arthur in every way in Uther’s eyes, and perhaps because Aredian was the one who had worked out Morgana had magic all those years ago.

And led them to where they were now.

“You don’t have to stay for dinner,” Arthur murmured quietly. He was trying his best to help, not that Morgana would even see it that way. “He’s angry tonight, which means he’ll drink a lot, which means it’s best if you’re not around.”

Morgana regarded him coolly. “And what if he lets something slip after one drink too many?”

“You would risk your own safety to find her?” Arthur asked. It was a fact about Morgana he had never managed to quite unravel. She was always ready to risk everything, give everything up in the hope she might find her sister.

She was desperate, and that made her dangerous.

“Like Uther is any match for me. Like either of you are,” Morgana huffed.

“You can’t save her if you’re dead,” Arthur pointed out.

“Brother dear, I never knew you cared.”

Arthur didn’t respond, in part understanding Morgana’s hatred of him, in part not wanting to increase it. Some days he couldn’t face her, cold and condescending as she was. His memories of the time before – before Aredian discovered Morgana’s magic, before Uther locked away Morgause and forced Morgana to his bidding – were too sharp, too painful to recall.

He didn’t blame Morgana for the way she’d become. Rather he wished he had been able to save her.

He swilled the last of the whiskey round the bottom of his tumbler, then knocked it back, not bothering to hide a wince. He really should stop drinking so much of the stuff.

Dropping the tumbler on a nearby table, he headed for the door.

“Where are you going?” Morgana asked, her voice sharp, and loud enough to catch the attention of Uther across the room.

Uther was speaking with business associates, but that didn’t stop him from fixing Arthur with a meaningful glare.

“To bed,” Arthur replied shortly. He didn’t want to attend the dinner, he didn’t want to entertain in empty conversation, trying to live up to his father’s expectations all the while knowing he would always be a failure.

His meeting with Gwaine that morning weighed heavily on his mind, and he was still no nearer to catching Emrys.

“Uther won’t be pleased.”

“He never is.” The words were out of Arthur’s mouth before he could think them through. Fortunately, there was enough conversation in the room that only he and Morgana heard.

Morgana narrowed her eyes, looking strangely pleased.

“Oh, what’s this? The crown prince losing faith in his king?”

“Leave it, Morgana.” Arthur shoulders were tight with tension. Fatigue, frustration and doubt troubled him.

“Of course, disillusionment was going to come one day. You weren’t going to look at him in starry-eyed adoration forever.” Morgana’s eyes gleamed with undisguised triumph.

It took all of Arthur’s resolve not to snap back at her.

“If you’ll give my apologies at dinner,” he said quietly. “I’m unwell and unable to attend.”

He didn’t wait for a response and instead strode out of the living room, into the darkened entrance hall.

Taking the stairs two at a time, he sped away from the sound of the gathering and headed for the sanctuary of his room.

He needed a good night’s rest, and then the next day he could get his head back on straight, perhaps track down one or two of Emrys’ other friends.

He loosened his tie, kicked off his shoes and dropped down onto his bed, not bothering to turn the lights on.

You will never, ever be even half the man that he is.

Gwaine's words plagued him late into the night.

Pimping

2016-09-20T10:05:50Z

Come along and join winterknights for lots of festive fun!

Merlin Reverse Round One!

2016-09-15T20:37:24Z

Everyone get excited!!!

merlinreverse has arrived!!

Get excited for the new Merlin Reverse Bang community!
Calling all artists, writers, people near and far, sign ups open October 10th!!

Fic/Fanwork Update

2016-09-10T11:22:40Z

Posted
A Hand to Hold (ART) :: This was my art entry for ACBB, with the wonderul stay_with_me. I absolutely adored the fic and was really pleased with how my pieces turned out! Composing isn't new to me but composing for a purpose as such if and I was really pleased at the extent to which the pieces reflected the fic.

Rise Up Like the Sun :: Fic entry for ACBB done and dusted (phew!) It was great to get it posted (on time this year!!) and le_red_queen's art was simply stunning :)

First, The Heart (Chapter One)

Writing
reel_merlin 'A Good Year' AU :: I've come to realise the film isn't that great, but as a potential for an AU it's excellent, I've just spiced it up a bit and well ... we'll see how things go!

First, the Heart (Chapter two) :: Trying to get my ideas in order, it's not working.

Ideas
(Way too many - any suggestions on which I could pursue?)
S4 AU where Agravaine and Morgana conspire against Emrys, telling Arthur there's a dangerous sorcerer out there and blaming Morgana's attacks on Emrys. Merlin is trying to remedy the situation which leads to magic reveal etc etc.

3x11 AU Morgana enchants Uther to think that because he beat Arhtur in the tournament, Arhtur isn't fit to rule - leading to Arhtur being disinherited, probably imprisoned (because I'm mean like that), everything going very badly and Merlin trying to sort it all out.

A Thousand Pieces of You AU Or not really but the premise is kinda of the same. The idea is you can jump between realities into different versions of yourself. Merlin's special, he only 'exists' in one reality but can go into any other at will (everyone else is bound to realities where they exist). Arthur is some kind of law enforcement and basically they end up meeting ... you know what happens next!

Canon AU S4 Post 4x06 - Agravaine approaches a visiting King and convinces him to side with Morgana. The King agrees, but signs his treaty with Arthur anyway. Intending to spark a conflict, the visiting king them kidnaps Merlin, playing on Arthur's feelings for Merlin and knowing Arthur will come to rescue him, sparking a war. Basically Agravaine being evil like he always is with generous Merthur whump.

Fic: First, the Heart (Chapter One)

2016-09-07T16:36:48Z

Title: First, the Heart
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur
Characters: Ensemble cast
Word count: 2582 of 5854
Warnings: Past character deaths

Summary: Merlin has been pursued all his life by those who know about his powers. They want to use him, to kill him, to take his magic, anything, everything. When he falls onto the Pendragon hitlist he knows he probably has little time left. But Merlin won't stop fighting. And in time may discover there's more to life than what first meets the eye. Especially in the case of a certain Arthur Pendragon.

A/N: I did warn about slow updates, haha. It took me a while to get this into shape! Hopefully the rest will come quicker!

Prologue

Chapter One : Safety

.1
“Of course I was watching the house,” Gwaine grumbled, stacking bacon on top of banana on top of pancakes and covering the whole thing with maple syrup. Merlin’s stomach rumbled earnestly. “Anyone could have wandered in. Thieves. Criminals. Long lost friends.”

He shot Merlin a rather reproachful look before setting the laden plate down in front of him.

“Sorry,” Merlin said, around a mouthful of pancake. “I didn’t know where else to go.”

Gwaine grimaced and then dropped into a seat on the opposite side of the table.

They were in Lancelot and Gwen’s flat, Lance and Gwen both out at work and Percival keeping a look out on the street below from the spare bedroom.

Merlin was wrapped in several blankets and late in the afternoon though it was, he’d only just woken up.

He still felt shaky. Still thought he could hear ringing in his ears at times.

They’d moved to Lance and Gwen’s flat because Gwaine’s place obviously wasn’t safe. Merlin knew they didn’t have long, though.

They’d be tracked down soon and Merlin knew that when that time came, he wasn’t going to put his friends at risk.

“It’s not a problem,” Gwaine said airily, snagging a bit of bacon off the edge of Merlin’s plate. “I just wish … I wish you’d contacted me. Said something. We could have helped.”

Merlin pushed a piece banana across his plate, suddenly not feeling very hungry.

“My life doesn’t work like that, Gwaine. You know that.”

Gwaine made an exasperated sound.

“Yeah, I’ve had to live with it for long enough now, Merls. I get it. You ‘work alone’.”

Merlin’s fork fell with a clatter.

“You think that’s what this is, Gwaine? You think I have any choice?”

He was angry. They were both angry.

Gwaine thumped his own cutlery down.

“Look Merlin, we’ve been trying to help you. There’s things we can do, people we know. We’re willing to put ourselves at risk because you’re our friend. And we don’t want to see you get hurt any more than you want to see us get hurt.”

That was the ultimate issue. They were all trying to do the same thing.

Merlin chewed at his lip and was silent. There was no point trying to fight this.

Gwaine exhaled noisily and took Merlin’s empty plate away from him, heading for the sink.

Merlin’s fingers danced over the edge of his blanket. Not knowing what to say to Gwaine because Gwaine would never understand.

Merlin had magic. That made him different.

His chances of survival were vastly increased in most situations. He had the ability to protect and defend others and he couldn’t do that if they were determined to throw themselves in front of him.

Granted, had it not been for Gwaine and the others’ intervention the previous night, Merlin would be locked up, somewhere far away in a Pendragon experiment lab.

But had it not been for their element of surprise, Gwaine and the others would have been vastly outnumbered.

And he couldn’t lose them.

Silence stretched.

It there was one good thing about his long separation from his friends it was that by all likelihood, the Pendragons didn’t know of their existence, or at least where they lived.

For a short while, they were safe.

Not for long. Never for long.

“How’s your job going?” Merlin asked tentatively.

“Fine.”

Gwaine went about making some tea, putting the kettle onto its stand with much more force than was necessary.

“Still at the warehouse?”

Gwaine grunted in response.

The kettle steadily came to the boil.

As it pinged, Percival burst into the kitchen.

“Men. In the street. Aredian.”

.2
The box of tea was still sat in Arthur’s cupboard, unused.

He wasn’t quite sure if he was keeping it in some form of punishment, or for some other unknown reason.

He’d failed. Emrys had gotten the better of him.

His father had not been pleased.

Then again, Uther was never pleased.

He poured himself out a few fingers or whiskey and headed for the lounge.

Folders and documents were scattered about. Reports from his scouts who were on the lookout for Emrys. Dossiers on ways to combat a magical threat. Lists of known sorcerers still at large.

Arthur dumped a pile on the floor and dropped into a seat.

He’d spent a year – a year – tracing down this Emrys fellow, setting the trap, determining that everything would run flawlessly only to have it all backfire on him.

Morgana had laughed.

Not that she’d exactly been successful either which was a small victory for Arthur.

And neither had his father.

Merlin’s face danced around his mind, all sharp cheekbones and ruffled hair, eyes dark with the weight of a lifetime on the run. That brilliant flare of gold.

From what he had been told by his father, Arthur had expected Merlin to be a ruthless killer who wouldn’t hesitate to decimate them all.

However … Merlin had neither harmed Arthur, nor even directly attacked him.

He hadn’t seemed to survive by exerting his supposed great power or taken down Arthur in a deadly duel.

He seemed to rely on ingenuity and sheer dumb luck more.

Those blue eyes sparkled in his mind’s eye. A slapdash grin spreading across Merlin’s face as Arthur succumbed to the sleeping drug’s effects.

He knocked back the whiskey, wincing as it went down.

The afternoon was drawing to a close outside, light rain spraying at the window in the breeze.

In his flat, everything was quiet.

Ignoring the reports form his scouts, he dragged a fresh sheet of paper towards him and digging in his pocket withdrew a fountain pen.

He needed to find Merlin again. Before Morgana or his father did.

He wasn’t sure why he felt this so urgently, and despite his best efforts to assure himself it was out of a desire to prove himself … blue eyes and pale skin drifted through his head again.

He set his jaw and steadily began listing all the places Merlin had inhabited over the past year.

He knew Merlin wouldn’t be foolish enough to return to any of them now, but he had to start somewhere and this was eliminating options.

He realised Merlin could have left town, but didn’t understand why he would now, after dancing under the nose of the Pendragons for so long, Merlin was something of a natural at it, and there were other forces abroad, much more powerful and much more deadly than the Pendragons.

Arthur knew Cenred controlled most of the West with an iron fist. Sorcerers didn’t last long there, no matter who they were. And it was unlikely that Merlin would have made it far North enough to enter Annis’s purview. Still it wouldn’t hurt to slip Annis a message.

He must still be in the city. Arthur could almost sense it, instinctively. This was Merlin’s home, he knew every hole to hide in, he had friends here-

Arthur caught himself, and then a smile began to grow across his face.

For the year he’d been following Merlin, he’d kept mostly to himself. Evidently he had enough sense to see that friends were a weakness.

But right now, Merlin was weak. He’d still be recovering from Uther’s attack. And someone had come to save him. Someone had known where he was and cared about him enough to come to rescue him.

It didn’t take him long to find the deeds to the house, it was child’s play to track down the owner, and after a little bit of digging, Arthur’s smile was victorious.

Gwaine Green. 27. Who just so happened to have gone to the same high school as one Merlin Emrys.

Satisfied, Arthur found out where Green worked and then set his laptop to one side.

Propping his feet up on the coffee table, he closed his eyes, the taste of whiskey still sharp upon his tongue, blue eyes still gleaming in his mind.

.3
There was a bit of a struggle.

Gwaine’s initial reaction was to try and pin Merlin down so he couldn’t go anywhere.

Merlin wriggled out of his grip, aided a little by his magic and ran for the bedroom where his rucksack was.

Percival came out of nowhere and planted himself firmly in the doorway.

Even that brief burst of energy was enough to render Merlin shaky and trembling once again.

Percival guided him into the bedroom and Gwaine pushed him down behind the bed with a warning to ‘stay there, or else.’

Merlin wasn’t been in any fit state to disagree.

“It’ll just be a routine check,” Gwaine said, his gaze flicking between the window and Merlin.

“Yeah, but you know Aredian,” Percival replied. “He can sniff out a sorcerer from a mile away.”

“We need a distraction,” Gwaine said, suddenly looking determined.

“Gwaine, no.” Merlin and Percival spoke at the same time.

“Well what else are we going to do?” Gwaine snapped, folding his arms.

Percival looked uncertain.

“We need to put him off the scent,” Merlin said, forcing himself up off the floor.

“I said stay put,” Gwaine warned.

“If I do, he’ll find me,” Merlin replied. He shrugged the blankets off his shoulders and made his way on unsteady feet towards the door, rolling his sleeves up as he went.

He wasn’t sure if he was strong enough to do this. And if it worked every sorcerer in Camelot would know he existed.

But he had to stop Aredian.

“Merlin you can’t,” Gwaine said firmly.

“It’s the only way,” Merlin replied, doing his best to stare Gwaine down.

There was a strained pause, then Percival stepped between them.

“What do you need to do?”

.4
Merlin ran away from home when he was sixteen.

Not out of choice. Rather that his mother was dead, Will had been taken in for questioning, and everyone in their neighbourhood knew he had magic.

It would only have been a matter of time before Cenred’s men came knocking. His mother had always warned him about the dangers of Cenred finding out about Merlin’s magic.

Containment. Experiment. In short, nothing good.

But Will hadn’t seen the car coming. There had been nothing else Merlin could have done except walk out into the middle of the busy street, in front of everyone, and stop the car.

It was hardly fair that this was his reward for saving his best friend’s life.

Since then, he’d spent three years in Essetir, keeping himself to the shadows, nicking food out of bins.

For the world at large, Merlin Emrys had ceased to exist.

He’d come to Camelot a few weeks before his 20^th birthday after a run in with someone called Kanen that had left him shaken and detesting the effects of the Witch’s Aria for the rest of his life.

Camelot had been daunting, but Merlin could get lost in the winding streets and could find places to hide in the many corners and holes.

Camelot had become home.

He hadn’t left, or at least, he always came back. He’d run to Nemeth after Arthur’s attack, but Morgana had found him there anyway. Gwaine’s place was out in the country, but clearly not far enough away for Uther Pendragon.

Even when he’d lost Will, he hadn’t been able to bring himself to leave.

Despite its dangers, so much greater now that he was under the purview of the Pendragons, it was home.

.5
Merlin knelt on the floor in the middle of the flat, his palms pressed into the carpet in front of him.

Steadily, he spread his magic out, letting it filter into the surrounding area, swelling and burning brighter as it did so.

“What are you doing?” Gwaine asked from his position at the door, keeping an eyes on the street below.

“Shut up, Gwaine. He needs to concentrate.” Percival had got out a pistol and was waiting at the window.

“I’m throwing Aredian off the scent,” Merlin muttered. “He senses magic so I’m going to send his senses into overload. He won’t know where its coming from, or where it ends.”

“is that wise?” Gwaine asked. “Are you strong enough?”

“It’s the only way,” Merlin replied.

Beads of sweat were running down his forehead and the trembling had worsened.

But it must be working. It had to be.

The magic grew, spreading out further. It filled the apartment, the building, the street.

“It’s working,” Percival murmured. “He’s confused.”

The veins stood out on the back of Merlin’s hands as he dug deeper, spreading his net wider. His vision was beginning to go white.

“He’s heading in the wrong direction,” Gwaine said.

“He’s going.”

Merlin closed his eyes, unable to stop the small whine of pain that escaped him.

“He’s gone!”

He had to hold on though. Had to wait until Aredian was far away. Far, far away.

“Merlin. Merlin you can stop now.”

Gwaine was close by, but his voice was faint. Merlin dug his nails into the carpet. Black and gold stretched across his vision.

“Merlin!”

With a shuddering gasp, he let it go, the magic flying back to him in a wave that made him topple sideways when it hit.

Gwaine steadied him.

Merlin heaved in a few deep breaths, feeling dizzy as his magic settled.

“You ok?” Gwaine asked softly.

Merlin made a quiet noise of assent.

“I’ll make some tea,” Percival said, and Merlin heard the click as he locked his pistol away.

“You really need to stop scaring me like that, Merls,” Gwaine said, the chuckle in his voice sounding hollow.

“Yeah sure,” Merlin replied. “Whenever I can stop saving your sorry behind.”

Gwaine didn’t reply.

.6
It was the middle of the night when he heard the voice.

He shot up in bed, eyes wide as he scanned the dark room.

Gwaine was snoring softly on the other bed, Percival a silent lump on the floor.

“Emrys.”

Nearly jumping out of his skin, Merlin looked around wildly.

“Emrys. My name is Mordred.”

Merlin froze where he was sat as he realised the voice was inside his head.

“We wish to speak with you, Emrys.”

“Who are you?” Merlin tried tentatively.

“A sorcerer, like you. But there are many of us. We wish to meet you, Emrys.”

Merlin grit his teeth, disliking the constant you of his name.

“Why me?”

“We want to help you, Emrys. And in turn, believe that you can help us.”

“I highly doubt that.”

“We know Uther Pendragon is hunting you. We can provide protection. Protection for your friends as well.”

Merlin stilled as he reached for his rucksack beside the bed.

“How do you know about them?” his voice was cutting in his head, but it didn’t hide his momentary twinge of fear.

“We sensed you magic, Emrys. This afternoon. We sought you out. Only one as powerful as you can help our cause.”

Silently, Merlin slid out of bed.

“What cause?”

“The protection of sorcerers. The eradication of Uther Pendragon and all like him. A free world for our kind.”

At the door to the bedroom, Merlin paused and looked back. Gwaine and Percival were still sleeping.

“And you promise me they’ll be safe?” It was the only thing that mattered.

“You have my word.”

Merlin crossed the hall, passed Lance and Gwen’s room and crept through the kitchen.

“Where do I meet you?”

“I’m at the corner,” Mordred replied. “Welcome to the Order of Nimueh, Emrys.”

Chapter Two

Monthly Fic Recs : AUGUST

2016-08-22T17:57:44Z

So I decided to start a monthly post of fic recs, mainly because I'm reading/have read a lot of amazing fics and in a way I'd like to both catalogue them and let other people know about some lesser known ones :) So all aboard for August, I'll hopefully post these at the end of each month!

August Fic Recs

A Different Kind of Power - realiztic (AO3) Gen, 208 words
A force other than magic prevails over both friends and foes of Camelot.

Abolutely beautiful and heartbreaking little something here that I stumbled across a while ago.

No Fate but what we Make - Clea2011 (AO3) Merlin/Arthur, 50k
It had been 127 years since Arthur vanished. In all that time, Merlin had never given up on him. As a regime of dark magic users tightened their hold on the world, Merlin knew he had just one chance to stop them. But he would need to go back in time…

I was amazed it took me so long to find this after last year's ACBB but it's honestly incredible, has one of those starts that really draws you in and the rest does not disappoint!

The Sidewalks of New York - emmbrancsxx0 (AO3) Merlin/Arthur, 161k
New York City, 1925. Jazz, flappers, parties, and violence. In the midst of Prohibition, crime boss Arthur Pendragon and his gang, the Knights of the Round Table, arrive from London to open a speakeasy in Chelsea. Fearing they’ll lose their hold on Manhattan’s West Side, the Black Kings send Merlin Emrys to spy on the Knights. The two gangs quickly become rivals, and there is no place for love in war.

Really, really loved this. So much tension and action and drama! I love fics when Merlin's 'magic reveal' is something other than magic. I'd been meaning to read this for ages so was really glad when I finally got round to it!!

--

Currently Reading
The Test of Honour - rawks (AO3) Merlin/Arthur, 297k

We are all Diamonds - Footloose(AO3) Merlin/Arthur, 134k (RE-READ)

--

Currently Writing
First, the Heart - (LJ) Merlin/Arthur

ACBB 2016 - (Editing)

Fic: First, the Heart (Prologue)

2016-08-08T20:31:30Z

Title: First, the Heart
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur
Characters: Ensemble cast
Word count: 3267 so far
Warnings: Violence, drugging, restraints

Summary: Merlin has been pursued all his life by those who know about his powers. They want to use him, to kill him, to take his magic, anything, everything. When he falls onto the Pendragon hitlist he knows he probably has little time left. But Merlin won't stop fighting. And in time may discover there's more to life than what first meets the eye. Especially in the case of a certain Arthur Pendragon.

A/N: A small something that will in time become a larger something. Mainly to distract me from ACBB and get some ideas which have been plaguing me down on paper. Please excuse erratic updates, and I hope you enjoy this little concept which just wouldn't leave me alone!

Prologue .1
There was somebody in Merlin’s flat when he got home.

He hesitated outside in the corridor, holding his breath and silently cursing his luck.

They’d found him. Again.

Merlin was getting tired.

Casting his magic out, it snaked under the door, curled around the table and chairs in the living room, lingered over the still warm kettle in the kitchen, and at last came to rest on the person who was sitting in Merlin’s arm chair at the door to his bedroom, a steaming cup of tea set on the table beside them.

That was … different.

He bit his lip, caught in indecision as whether to go in and face the enemy, or just turn tail and run now before they had a chance to get their hands on him.

He hadn’t been quick enough last time. If it hadn’t been for Will-

Dammit, don’t think about Will.

He let out the breath he’d been holding and straightened his spine. Whoever it was, friend or foe, Merlin couldn’t run away again.

He braced himself and took hold of the door handle, turning it and pushing the door open without needing a key because a certain tea-drinker had already picked the lock.

No fingerprints, though. They must be wearing gloves. They were wary then, of Merlin’s powers.

Merlin knew the stories that were whispered about him. That he could take control of a man just by touch. That even the faintest trace of DNA would render his prey under his will.

It was a sad sort of laugh that welled in his chest. Whatever he’d planned to do with his life, it wasn’t this.

The door swung open to reveal his small, dark flat. The light was fading beyond the windows and the intruder hadn’t bothered to turn on the lights.

In the half-light, Merlin’s gaze came to rest on a man, relaxing in the armchair, one leg crossed carelessly across the other, blond hair like gold in the last rays of the sun. His face was in shadow.

“Most people knock,” Merlin said, shrugging lightly.

The man did not respond.

Merlin dumped his rucksack in the doorway to the kitchen, even turning his back on the man in a show of abject defiance.

“Were the shops out of tea?” he asked, still trying for light-hearted, even as in his peripheral vision he saw the man reach for something inside his jacket.

“I mean,” his voice trembled slightly - it was a gun, definitely a gun – why couldn’t they just leave him alone? “I wouldn’t make a habit of it, someone might get angry.”

He turned, throwing up a shield just in time to catch the bullet, inches from his face.

The resounding crack from the pistol faded into silence.

The bullet hovered in the space between them. The man lowered the gun.

“You really are as good as they say,” the man said.

Merlin reached up and picked the bullet out of the air. He spun it between his fingers, wondering if it would have been better to let it meet its mark.

“They say lots of things,” he responded calmly.

“Not all of them true,” the man said, tilting his head on one side.

“Most of them untrue.”

Merlin reached out and set the bullet on the table.

The man tucked the gun back away inside his jacket and then reached for his tea.

“Most people adopt a more forward approach,” Merlin said. He dragged a chair away from the table and dropped into it.

He felt agitated. Dancing between fight and flee and all the while his supposed attacker wasn’t doing anything. It set Merlin’s teeth on edge.

“I’m not most people,” came the enigmatic response.

“Neither am I,” Merlin responded bluntly.

He was tired. He wanted to sleep. He wanted to get away from the life that had been plaguing him for years simply because of who he was born to be.

“I’d noticed.” The man put his cup to one side. It was still steaming.

“How long have you been following me?” Merlin asked.

“A year,” the man replied. His fingers ran along the edge of something in his lap that Merlin couldn’t see.

“A year?” Merlin ran a hand through his hair. “Other people have tried bringing me in since then.”

There had been Dagr and Ebor. Myror. Cedric.

“I knew they’d fail.”

“And you think you’ll succeed?” Merlin ran a hand through his hair and tried not to scoff. “Let me tell you-,”

“I’ve already succeeded,” the man responded, a smile gracing his lips and his teeth showing white in the gloom.

“What?”

“I’ve already succeeded,” the man repeated. His smile was smug, goading.

Merlin blinked. “How?”

The man lifted a small bottle out of his lap.

“I believe you’re familiar with this little charmer here,” he said, raising an eyebrow in satisfaction when Merlin paled.

He knew what it was. He’d had it used on him more times than he’d like to admit.

“The Witch’s Aria,” the man continued, “as it’s commonly known.”

A powerful sedative, absorbed through the skin. Its potency more than tripled by the use of magic.

Merlin set his jaw. He wasn’t just tired. He was very tired.

His mind cycled through options with decreasing speed.

“The door handle,” he forced out, piecing together the man’s method.

More elusive was his motive, but Merlin didn’t really have time to figure everything out. His mind was still desperately searching for an escape even as his thoughts grew increasingly foggy.

“Yes, very good. But the bullet too, for assurance.”

Merlin didn’t know whether to laugh at his own incompetence or scowl at the man’s ingenuity.

As it was, he had a hard time keeping his eyes open.

“What I don’t understand though,” the man mused, rolling the bottle between hands. “Is why you didn’t just kill me in the first place? You had more than enough opportunity.”

“You’ve been following me for a year,” Merlin grunted, trying to push himself up in the chair even as his body gave way to fatigue and he slumped to the floor. “You’ve seen how I work. And it’s not like that.”

“You’re a bit of an enigma, aren’t you, Merlin?” the man got to his feet and for the first time, light fell across his face.

Merlin’s cheek was pressed into the carpet and he belatedly wondered how he’d got there. The man crossed the space and picked up the bullet in a gloved hand.

All it took was one tiny spell on Merlin’s part and the glove disintegrated.

The man swore loudly.

“And you’re a bit of an idiot, aren’t you, Arthur Pendragon?” Merlin said, putting as much cheek into his words as he could, the darkness almost claiming him.

Arthur had stumbled backwards, the sedative affecting him so much faster than Merlin whose magic had fought it off at least for a little while.

Even as Arthur collapsed to the floor against the armchair, the last of Merlin’s resolve gave up and his eyes fell shut.

* * *

There was a pounding in his head when he awoke.

Dawn was just beginning to show through the windows on the other side of the flat.

Arthur Pendragon was snoring softly.

It was kind of endearing.

Merlin forced himself to his feet, the world weaving before his eyes.

That had been close.

Stepping over Arthur’s sleeping form he gathered his stuff together in the bedroom, stuffing the essentials into his rucksack after a cursory check with his magic to make sure Arthur hadn’t drugged anything else.

Arthur Pendragon.

This was a whole lot more serious than his sluggish brain wanted to contemplate.

The Pendragons were after him.

He gulped and stepped over Arthur Pendragon once again.

There was a sweet openness in Arthur’s expression, and Merlin paused for a moment, his heart tugging painfully, needing something he didn’t quite understand.

Then, he straightened his spine and crushed the bottle of Witch’s Aria under his foot.

At the last minute, before he left, he grabbed a piece of paper and scrawled:

So you don’t have to break into someone else’s flat.

He left it on the table with the opened box of teabags next to it.

It seemed to take him an eternity to leave, and it was only because Arthur began to stir and he could hear his neighbours moving around that he finally came to the conclusion that he had to move.

As he left the flat, he spared one last glance backwards and then disappeared into the dawn.

.2
Two months later

Merlin glared across the room at a certain Morgana Pendragon who was looking distinctly smug, her eyes sparkling as she watched Merlin struggle.

“I was so very glad Arthur failed,” she said, her mouth curling in a smirk. “Otherwise I wouldn’t have had my turn.”

Merlin’s hands were caught up above his head, wrapped in thick cords.

Morgana’s spell had been accurate and powerful.

They faced each other down across the cardboard box Merlin had come to call home over the past two months. It was tiny, freezing as winter drew in, and damp.

He hadn’t been able to afford anything better. Lost in a city he didn’t know, running from danger on every corner and every side.

“And it was so much fun tracking you down,” Morgana continued, pacing closer.

“Yes, I’ve heard betraying one’s kind can be quite liberating,” Merlin replied.

Morgana stepped in front of him and snatched at his jaw, manicured nails digging into his skin.

“I wouldn’t expect you to know the things I’ve faced,” she hissed, not as composed as Arthur, more erratic. Unpredictable. “And my reasons are my own.”

“So it’s not that your father keeps your magic bound except to carry out his purposes?” Merlin asked, raising an eyebrow.

The rumours about the Pendragons were as far-fetched and ridiculous as the rumours Merlin had heard about himself. But this particular detail had rung true, and the way Morgana’s grip on his jaw tightened, seemed to prove it.

“You know nothing,” she spat.

Her nails left small crescent marks as she stepped away.

Merlin wondered when the best time to act would be. He assumed Morgana would be acting alone. Arthur had had no backup and Merlin hoped Morgana would be the same.

They weren’t the kind of people to rely on others. Preferred to put their trust solely in their own skill. Backup was a liability.

Morgana’s eyes glowed and the cords which bound Merlin’s hands – and magic – came away from the wall and she caught them in her hands.

“I don’t quite understand everyone’s interest in you, Emrys,” she said. “This wasn’t exactly difficult. And look at you… Hardly what the rumours led me to believe.”

“I don’t make the rumours,” Merlin replied, shrugging lightly, despite the fact he was smarting from Morgana’s insult. “Perhaps I’m just an ordinary guy.”

Morgana tilted her head on one side, her eyes narrowing. “Perhaps.”

Then she tugged on the cords, pulling Merlin towards the door.

Merlin acted as soon as she turned her back. He leapt forward, swinging his bound hands over her head and wrapping the cords round her throat.

Morgana let out the smallest cry of surprise before she composed herself.

As close as they were, Merlin felt the surge of her magic and couldn’t help but grin as the cords had the same effect on Morgana as they did on him. Her own magic blocking itself, no matter how much she fought to get away from Merlin’s grasp.

“You’re in no position to fight me, Emrys,” she growled.

“I don’t have to kill you with magic, Morgana,” Merlin replied, his voice a low threat in her ear. He tightened the cords around Morgana’s neck until she went still.

“Cut the cords,” he ordered.

“With what? My teeth?”

“There’s a knife,” Merlin said calmly, turning them both in the direction of his makeshift kitchen.

They slowly advanced, Merlin making sure he gave no slack in the bonds.

Morgana picked up the bread knife, still smeared with peanut butter from where Merlin had been cutting his sandwiches before he was so rudely interrupted.

“Careful now,” Merlin breathed. “Neither of us want to get hurt.”

A sardonic laugh escaped Morgana. “I’m the one with the knife, Emrys,” she muttered, but she raised the knife slowly, steadily raking it back and forth across the tough cord.

Merlin could tell they could both feel the magic in the bond weakening, so he took his chance right before Morgana cut through the last fibre and pulled hard.

The cord snapped. Morgana turned. Merlin didn’t quite raise his shield in time.

The knife caught his shoulder, and even though it was blunt, Morgana’s power drove it deep.

Merlin stumbled back, throwing his hand out and blasting Morgana backwards off her feet as the pain in his shoulder spiked.
Morgana hit the wall and slumped to the ground, unconscious.

Merlin grasped the handle of the knife, not able to quite remember whether you were meant to leave the knife in or take it out, but either way it hurt and he could hardly run with a bread knife stuck in his shoulder.

Blood soaked into his shirt. His thoughts blurred a little with pain.

Raising a hand, he whispered a spell, not enough to heal his wound – that had never been Merlin’s forte – but enough to numb the pain, at least for a little while.

He grabbed his rucksack, his coat, his sandwiches.

He didn’t look back as he fled.

.3
Three weeks later

Merlin really should have seen it coming.

First Arthur. Then Morgana. It wasn’t any stretch of the imagination to guess who would come after him next.

As it was, he was at Gwaine’s. It was his birthday. And he was drunk. Very drunk.

The fire was burning low in the grate and the curtains were drawn in the living room of the house. Gwaine wasn’t there, but Merlin didn’t think his friend would have a problem with Merlin sleeping there a night or two. Or a week. Maybe three.

It wasn’t like Gwaine ever even came here. He held no fondness for his childhood home which had been left to him in his father’s will. Gwaine’s feelings for the place were a mixture of anger, regret and sadness that Merlin had never been able to quite tease out of him.

His wound had healed after several attempts to heal it with magic, each with varying levels of success.

He started into the flames, wondering what was left. Wondering what he was meant to do with a life that everyone else seemed to want to claim.

What was he meant to do when on every side people were trying to kill him, torture him, take away his magic.

He sighed, curling up on the threadbare couch and pulling his blanket a little tighter around him.

His eyes drooped shut.

Then the whining began.

It was faint at first. Merlin put it down to tinnitus.

But then it grew louder. Too loud for him to ignore.

The sound sent shivers down his spine.

He pushed himself up from the seat, the blanket falling from his shoulders as he got to his feet.

The rest of the house was silent.

The whining in Merlin’s head only grew louder.

He winced, the sound seeming to claw at some highly sensitive part of his soul. Tugging and pulling and scratching, like it was trying to dig into his heart, right to his core.

His clapped his hands over his ears, his knees beginning to tremble and buckle as the whining increased in intensity.

He tried to call his magic up, to lash out and stop whatever it was, but his magic seemed to splinter and disintegrate at the noise, the high-pitched sound digging right down to his magic and tearing it apart.

He fell to his knees, bowing his head, desperate for it to stop.

He couldn’t think. Couldn’t breathe.

A thin scream issued from his throat.

He was vaguely aware of people entering the room.

Someone grabbed his arms and pulled them behind his back. He fought, needing some resistance to the sound that grew louder and louder.

“No. Please.” The words were torn from him as someone cuffed his wrists.

“Please.”

“So it works then,” he heard a calm voice say, and looking up through his lashes he saw none other than Uther Pendragon, standing there with a small black box in his hands and an expression of disgust on his face.

“I’ve never seen it work this effectively before,” someone else said. “He must be strong.”

“According to legend he is the most powerful of them all.” Uther tilted his head on one side, sneering slightly. “And here he grovels at my feet.”

“Please,” Merlin begged, not caring anymore because it hurt. “Please make it stop. I’ll do anything. Please, please…”

Uther stepped closer and Merlin flinched away.

The nearer the man got, the louder and more intense the sound got and Merlin begged and begged, the words coming out of his mouth as a scream for the briefest, the smallest of respite.

“Get him in the van.”

Merlin was hauled to his feet and was dragged, because his body wouldn’t cooperate. He kept his eyes shut, trying to get away from the noise, to do anything to get it to stop.

They were halfway across the hallway to the door, when it suddenly did.

There was a crack of a gun being fired. Merlin barely heard it.

Then another shot, and another.

Merlin’s brain started to clear, the whining faded.

“Someone knock him out!” Someone yelled.

Merlin caught up with what was happening just in time to turn away from the blow aimed at his head. It caught his shoulder and the force was enough to knock him back into reality.

The knife wound burned dully.

His eyes flared gold.

His captors didn’t stand a chance. They were thrown away from him, the cuffs around his wrists snapping open and he threw out a hand to stop a bullet, at the same time weaving shields around those who had come to save him.

Eventually the firing stopped and Merlin looked up to find Gwaine coming towards him, his face pale and his knuckles white around his gun.

“Merlin…”

Gwaine pulled him into a hug and Merlin let himself buckle a little.

He saw Lancelot, Percival and Gwen standing in the hallway, looking a little aghast at the scene before them.

Merlin tried to ignore the bodies.

“Uther?” he asked.

Gwaine stepped back, a scowl crossing his face. “He got away.”

Merlin sniffed and held out a hand. “Give me your gun.”

Gwaine looked puzzled for a moment before handing it over.

Merlin crossed the hall to where the black box was lying shattered on the floor, evidently where Uther had dropped it. One bullet was already embedded in it.

Merlin fired another. And another.

Bits of black plastic casing and chips of metal flew up at the impact.

Another shot. And another.

“Merlin. Merlin!”

It was Gwaine again, his hand on Merlin’s arm, but Merlin didn’t stop firing until all the bullets were gone and the gun clicked dully in the silence.

“That’s mahogany,” Gwaine said, indicating the mess Merlin had made of the floor, like he actually knew what wood it was, or cared, and Merlin would have laughed, but darkness crept in at the edges of his vision and he collapsed backwards into Gwaine’s arms.

“Merlin? Merlin!”

Chapter One

I think I finished!?

2016-08-04T20:21:33Z

I think I finished ACBB!? And I'm really hoping I'm not going to jinx it now and find some massive error in my editing, but that aside IT'S DONE :D

56k (which I'm really proud of, my highest yet) and finished BEFORE the due date ... it's something of a miracle :)

Right, lets break out the champagne and get down to editing!

Damn procrastination.

2016-07-14T18:27:02Z

So all in all, ACBB is going fairly well. I crossed two big milestones today: 45k - larger than any of my AC's so far, and 100 pages (wide-spaced, I know. But cool all the same!)

However ... Is the end in sight? Debatable. I feel the end is coming, but will probably bite me in the butt and end up being 10k longer than I envisaged.

And I'm running out of time :(

For example, today: I watch 4 episodes of a tv show, and fail to write very much. *sigh*

On the other hand, my art (composing) is going really well. I've got two short tracks pretty much finished, just need an idea for a third and to piece together ideas for the main theme.

Anyone have any suggestions for finding 2nd gear??

blessing in disguise?

2016-04-20T08:36:08Z

So for a couple of days I haven't been happy with where my fic was heading for After Camlann, and then today I came up with an idea that made me a lot more confident with it ...

It just means re-writing. And that means effort. *wails*

And to be honest it won't be that much to re-write, just niggly things with names and descriptions, and also how Arthur's character is developing in the first 17k or so

*sighs* it'll be better when i get it done. it's just .. getting it done, haha.

I mainly can't decide whether to plow on with the fic, or to do the re-write of what I have first and then continue? ugh.

Merlin Reverse Big Bang 2015 : Up in Flames (ART)

2015-08-23T02:45:08Z

So here is the first of my two art pieces from the Merlin Reverse Big Bang 2015 - merlinreversebb. I was lucky enough to work with the wonderful kparr, and her fic is amazing!

This was my first time making art for a fest and it was really great to work with kparr and everyone else who was so supportive with my art - namely my friends who offered so much advice!

Fic: LJ AO3
Author: kparr
Characters/Pairings: Merlin/Arthur
Rating: G
Word Count: 9035

Summary: A quiet evening in Arthur's chambers leads to the prince witnessing Merlin's magic for the first time.

Banner

Main Piece

Divider

Also on AO3

Comments and feedback really appreciated! :)

Welcome to my kingdom

2014-05-01T08:20:44Z

AKA: SideStepping on AO3 and camelott on Tumblr

Not a very active blog (but hopefully will become more active), fairly friends-only but I'm pretty open to adding people, as long as we share merlin-related interests :)

Writer, artist (sort of), graphic and gif maker (on Tumblr), lurker and flailer. Enjoy the mess.

This is not a complete list of all my fics, just my a) complete and b) generally longer fics. Newest first. Please see my AO3 for the full collection. M/A is Merlin/Arthur. Side pairings are not listed. Non-merthur pairings are stated.

- Rise Up Like the Sun After Camlann 2016 Futue dystopian AU. In a divided world where the ruling magical class is steadily crushing all non-magical resistance, Arthur has little chance of survival when cast out of the non-magical haven. Merlin keeps to the shadows, trying to keep his friends safe whilst the hope of an end to the war steadily dies inside him. When they meet, secrets, lies and the rest of the world treaten to tear them apart, but in Merlin, Arthur finds a home and in Arthur, Merlin finds his hope once more. M/A, 56k, PG

- Ours is the Future After Camlann 2015 Three months have passed since Merlin revealed his magic to Arthur, and saved Arthur's life, at Camlann, and their relationship is strained. Then a surprise attack on Camelot sparks events beyond their control and it is only in the face of an old enemy they thought they'd never meet again, and discovering the powers beyond even destiny that they find their hope in one another once more. M/A, 38k, R

- Fale Face Must Hide What The False Heart Doth Know Merlin and his fellow sorcerers attack and capture Camelot. Morgause leaves it to Merlin to break the young captured Prince. At first Arthur feels only hatred for the sorcerer who stole his kingdom but soon begins to see a side to Merlin that he keeps very very closely hidden. M/A, 29k, PG

- When Summer's Over Reverse Big Bang 2015 Arthur had fully intended on spending the five day long cruise relaxing. What he hadn't planned for was becoming the victim of a murder attempt, discovering the existence of magic, and falling head over heels in love with the clumsy waiter who spilled a bottle of wine down him. M/A, 17k, PG

- I Will Bring You Home Merlin saves Arthur from a bandit attack, revealing his magic at the same time. Furious, Arthur banishes Merlin from Camelot and thinking Arthur no longer cares - Merlin goes. But danger waits for Merlin beyond Camelot's walls and through his trials, he begins to learn that maybe Arthur does still love him. M/A, 12k, PG

- Maybe It's Desinty After Camlann 2014 In retribution for crimes against her kind, Nimueh demands tributes to be sent to Ascetir yearly as sacrifices. Merlin is chosen from Ealdor, Arthur from Camelot and together with the other tributes they travel to Ascetir to face their fate. It's there that Merlin and Arthur discover the true meaning of destiny.
"Here at the end of his life, at possibly the worst place in the world to do it, he'd fallen in love." M/A, 40k, PG

- Things Never Happen the Same Way Twice Reverse Big Bang 2014 Gwen and Arthur are in hiding whilst a magical war is being waged beyond the mountains. Gwen is tired, disturbed by dreams of faces and places she has no recollection of meeting or visiting and Arthur is determined to protect his people and venture beyond the mountains to fight in the war.
All is well until Arthur is captured by enemy forces and Gwen is left to find him whilst piecing together what her visions mean, and beginning to understand that this is not the first time she has lived this life.
Arthur is in his cell when Merlin appears to heal his wounds and explain what is happening. But Merlin has wandered the Earth for too many years and is withdrawn, still not certain that Arthur is his destiny.
With Morgana on her way, Merlin is determined to make a change this time around and not fail in his destiny.
Of course, things never happen the same way twice … Arthur/Gwen, 23k, R

- This is Where Life Begins Gwaine Fest 2014 Gwaine is an orphan, living in the streets of Camelot. He and his friends get by, but Albion is a kingdom at war and darkness has entered the kingdom through the rebel group called the Angyal.
Gwaine doesn't really want to be involved but he may not have a choice. Destiny plays a dark game. Merlin/Arthur/Gwaine, M/A, 29k, R