I am worried for my nephews
TW: child to child sexual abuse
Hi everyone,
I am new to this group and I am also new to opening up about the sexual abuse I went through as a child. For a long long time I did not believe what I experienced was abuse as I didn’t think it was “bad enough”. I’ve recently been doing more research and can say I have pushed this down for too long, and it has affected me in ways I did not realize.
Long story short: my sister, who was one year older than me, throughout my childhood and adolescence, would use ‘games’ where she was my ‘dominant boyfriend’ or ‘the prince saving the princess’ or the ‘doctor helping the patient’ to force me into multiple inappropriate situations. It never went to the point of [TW: sexual language (click to open)]penetration but heavy petting and kissing were involved. It made me feel disgusting and for the longest time, even when I knew I was wrong, I told myself it was a mutual decision to play the games. But the reality is, I knew it was wrong. [TW: emotional and physical coercion (click to open)]There were times where I even physically tried to get away from her, and times where I asked her to stop, and she did not comply.
She did these things with me and my younger male cousin for multiple years. It stopped close to the end of high school and none of us has discussed it since. Ever since I have had an inclination of strange desires/attraction to younger people (she has shown signs of which and is also now dating a man convicted and registered with the national sex registry for having sexual relations with two underage girls, which is a problem in itself.)
The only reason I decided to search into this is that I now have two nephews. They are her nephews as well, and I am worried she will do things to them as she did to my cousin and I. I do not want to out her to my family or friends as we still have a familial relationship and I do love her. How do I go about protecting my nephews without upsetting their parents or having them want to cut ties with her?
Please help. At this point I do not know what to do.
Hi everyone,
I am new to this group and I am also new to opening up about the sexual abuse I went through as a child. For a long long time I did not believe what I experienced was abuse as I didn’t think it was “bad enough”. I’ve recently been doing more research and can say I have pushed this down for too long, and it has affected me in ways I did not realize.
Long story short: my sister, who was one year older than me, throughout my childhood and adolescence, would use ‘games’ where she was my ‘dominant boyfriend’ or ‘the prince saving the princess’ or the ‘doctor helping the patient’ to force me into multiple inappropriate situations. It never went to the point of [TW: sexual language (click to open)]penetration but heavy petting and kissing were involved. It made me feel disgusting and for the longest time, even when I knew I was wrong, I told myself it was a mutual decision to play the games. But the reality is, I knew it was wrong. [TW: emotional and physical coercion (click to open)]There were times where I even physically tried to get away from her, and times where I asked her to stop, and she did not comply.
She did these things with me and my younger male cousin for multiple years. It stopped close to the end of high school and none of us has discussed it since. Ever since I have had an inclination of strange desires/attraction to younger people (she has shown signs of which and is also now dating a man convicted and registered with the national sex registry for having sexual relations with two underage girls, which is a problem in itself.)
The only reason I decided to search into this is that I now have two nephews. They are her nephews as well, and I am worried she will do things to them as she did to my cousin and I. I do not want to out her to my family or friends as we still have a familial relationship and I do love her. How do I go about protecting my nephews without upsetting their parents or having them want to cut ties with her?
Please help. At this point I do not know what to do.