taking chances
Two days consisting of 9 hours of physical theater is too much. Especially when they scheduled it Thursday in place of classes and Members Only time so you don't get a chance to train. For a group of physically motivated circus people, spending six hours one day doing a physically minimal but emotionally draining discipline is slightly torturous. I feel like there was stuff to be learned and I gained something from the time working with Jesse Dryden. Such as how to use memories for artistic fuel, the power of breath, turning emotions into movement, and using nature to create visual images. But the scheduling was wrong. It left a lot of us feeling frustrated. Today was better because we only did 3 hours and then had some Members Only time and tumbling class.
The physical theater workshop definitely brought out a lot emotions in us. This is a time when we are feeling stressed about our majors and minors and questioning where we are going after protrack. Tapping into some of these emotions and having our stresses brought to the surface was intense and made a lot of us feel vulnerable. But the underlying feeling of love we have for our group helped us and that was brought out too. For 18 different people we are incredibly close and connected. The final exercise of the class we had to make a circle and one by one step into it and those forming the circle would say what we thought that persons greatest strength was. There was an outpouring of words for each person and we believed each word we said. The love we have for each other is strong.
Despite the emotions dealt with during the PT classes tumbling class afterward went really well for me. I had the good tumbling energy going on today. The kind of energy that is pulsing through my muscles giving them power and push, radiating out through my hands and feet. My front tumbling felt good, my back handsprings in a row had power and rhythm, and my roundoff back handspring back tucks were strong. I pushed myself hard and pushed through the bouts of fear that came up. It felt good.
I received my email confirmation from ENC so in February I'll be heading up to Montreal to audition. Besides myself, Rackim is the only other protracker who will be auditioning. For a long time I wasn't sure I was going to audition. I wasn't sure if I wanted to even go to ENC. I debated sending my registration until the last possible minute but eventually pushed aside my doubts, said fuck it and sent it in. I need to get up there and see how the Montreal circus vibe is. I need to take this chance. Do I think I'll get in? No. Most of the people they accept into the program are 18. 28 is a far cry from a kid fresh out of high school. Do I want to get in? Yes. It took a little soul searching to figure this out but I discovered that yes I want to get in, very much so actually. I want to be the best handbalancer I can possibly be. I want to pursue my performing dreams. Working with Danny showed me its going to take some intense training to make that happen. ENC is the place to make these goals a reality. Am I up for 3 more years of intense training? Fuck yes. I will do whatever it takes to become the level of circus artist I want to be. If that means buckling down for three years of physically and emotionally demanding training then that's what I'll do. I'm not unrealistic about my chances of getting into the program but I can't help wanting this. The only thing I can do is try. If I don't even make it past the first stage so be it but I can tell you this, Rackim and I are going to rock it out in Montreal next month.
The physical theater workshop definitely brought out a lot emotions in us. This is a time when we are feeling stressed about our majors and minors and questioning where we are going after protrack. Tapping into some of these emotions and having our stresses brought to the surface was intense and made a lot of us feel vulnerable. But the underlying feeling of love we have for our group helped us and that was brought out too. For 18 different people we are incredibly close and connected. The final exercise of the class we had to make a circle and one by one step into it and those forming the circle would say what we thought that persons greatest strength was. There was an outpouring of words for each person and we believed each word we said. The love we have for each other is strong.
Despite the emotions dealt with during the PT classes tumbling class afterward went really well for me. I had the good tumbling energy going on today. The kind of energy that is pulsing through my muscles giving them power and push, radiating out through my hands and feet. My front tumbling felt good, my back handsprings in a row had power and rhythm, and my roundoff back handspring back tucks were strong. I pushed myself hard and pushed through the bouts of fear that came up. It felt good.
I received my email confirmation from ENC so in February I'll be heading up to Montreal to audition. Besides myself, Rackim is the only other protracker who will be auditioning. For a long time I wasn't sure I was going to audition. I wasn't sure if I wanted to even go to ENC. I debated sending my registration until the last possible minute but eventually pushed aside my doubts, said fuck it and sent it in. I need to get up there and see how the Montreal circus vibe is. I need to take this chance. Do I think I'll get in? No. Most of the people they accept into the program are 18. 28 is a far cry from a kid fresh out of high school. Do I want to get in? Yes. It took a little soul searching to figure this out but I discovered that yes I want to get in, very much so actually. I want to be the best handbalancer I can possibly be. I want to pursue my performing dreams. Working with Danny showed me its going to take some intense training to make that happen. ENC is the place to make these goals a reality. Am I up for 3 more years of intense training? Fuck yes. I will do whatever it takes to become the level of circus artist I want to be. If that means buckling down for three years of physically and emotionally demanding training then that's what I'll do. I'm not unrealistic about my chances of getting into the program but I can't help wanting this. The only thing I can do is try. If I don't even make it past the first stage so be it but I can tell you this, Rackim and I are going to rock it out in Montreal next month.