SeductiveBitch's little corner of the web.

Babies Everywhere?

seductivebitch — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 16:59:07 GMT

So anyone that has seen much of my journal in the last year and a half knows about my sister. She had a beautiful baby (Bailee Elizabeth) whom passed away at just over three months old. It was the single most distressing experience ever.

So my brother has been seeing this girl for about a year and a half. He's 19 (so young) and lives with Veronica (said girl) and her family. Her Mom and Dad are split and he is leaving... And she lives with her siblings, her mom, and Veronicas two kids. Both kids are from her previous relationship. My brother met her when she was 3 months along with the second (the guy split). He fell for her hard and decided that he wanted to be there for her. I have to say, he has taken on a lot. He's working two jobs to get them a vehicle and she works full time too. Needless to say her mom helps a lot with the girls. She has this weird idea that babies don't leave the house, and that irks me beyond belief but who am I...

Well last night I got a call from him. It was the infamous "We're having a baby" call. My stomach hit the ground and my heart flew up to my throat. Not only is he going to be forced to play the Daddy roll "for real" now... but I think it's best to urge them to move in together too. Away from her mom. I know this woman is going to keep the baby from my side of the family because she won't want it out of the house. After losing my niece, we aren't going to go for that. There's no way.

Needless to say I'm absolutely thrilled, don't get me wrong... But my concerns are sitting high above the thrill. God I can't wait though.

Owww

seductivebitch — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 14:47:40 GMT

So for reasons completely unknown, on random days I will wake up with terrible nerve pinching in my lower back. It seems most often to twinge in association with my right leg stepping forward, and the instant pressure is applied. Then there are the normal bending and twisting moments. I'm not sure what makes this go nuts on me but it has been happening roughly once a month or so. I go to bed fine, then wake up feeling like a broken umbrella. Sometimes it lasts a few days. I'm reeeally hoping this isn't one of those times.

Especially with the lovely obgyn apmt tomorrow morning. Just the thought of my back hurting for that is nauseating.

Note to self - Sneezing HURTS

Birthday Wishes

seductivebitch — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 12:59:41 GMT

Happy Birthday to both "LaughingMonk" & "Squad"!!!

Happy Halloween

seductivebitch — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 18:37:08 GMT

I hope everyone has a Great Halloween.

I love toe socks. :)
That is all.

seductivebitch — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 19:02:48 GMT

Here is a picture of the Haunted Gingerbread House my sister and I made this weekend...

http://s233.photobucket.com/albums/ee242/ldyreena/?action=view¤t=GingerbreadHouse-1.jpg

Haunted Gingerbread House

seductivebitch — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 19:01:39 GMT

Relaxed Weekend

seductivebitch — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 14:04:06 GMT

So after a week that made me want to burn my office, I decided to ignore the rest of my plans and just relax. Honestly I was supposed to work Saturday or Sunday to try and catch up some but just didn't get to it. Oh well :)

Friday I picked up my sister and took her about on some "running around". For anyone that is concerned with how she's doing, things are going very well on the "C" front. It seems that the problem is actually shrinking and treatments are responding very well. This is all great news since they're (Army) going to be sending her to Iraq next year. Then we went by my mom and grams and spent the night constructing our Haunted Gingerbread House! It turned out pretty cute. The frosting that was supplied sucked about 14 times more than expected and we ended up having to glue the actual house parts together. Needless to say it won't be eaten, but it still looks really cute.

Saturday I got a lot of running around done. Went to Home Depot, Target, IHop, the Grocery Store and someplace else I can't remember. The windows at my place are old and drafty so I got that plastic to seal most of them off. Being I got this place specifically because it's bright, I didn't want to have to leave my blinds down all year beneath the plastic... I ended up getting (very cheap) drapes to put over the plastic to close at night or for privacy. The ones in the kitchen are cream color and the living and dining rooms are a light sage green. It looks pretty nice.

Yesterday I recruited the boyfriend and we hung all of the curtains and started to seal off the windows. After ironing something like 12 curtain panels (it took hours) I started to feel like a sweatshop worker doing the same thing over and over. Rented "Perfect Stranger" yesterday. I was actually very happy with it. I love the kind of movies that have you piecing things together through the very end.

I'm very "blah" on the idea of Halloween this year. I don't even think I'm going to be doing anything. Next year I'm going to attend a Costume Party (I missed this year) at an old train station that is closed down in the city. The only things I can think to do ON Halloween are not going to happen because it's A)a work night and B)the boyfriend is working. Oh well. We will see how it goes.

Work, Das Tassenhaus, This weekend

seductivebitch — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 18:04:50 GMT

So the work front hasn't changed much. Last night I was working on some (ever behind) projects at my desk until about 9:30. I'm still completely buried but I feel as if I have made very minor headway *knock on wood*. I spoke with a director of another department today and told him the reaction I had when I expressed that I was overwhelmed. He agreed that my Supervisor really should have handled the situation differently and suggested that I speak with the "Big Guy" of the company. If things aren't better after this weekend (which I will be working through some of)I will have to take his advise.

I'd like to wish everyone attending the party at Das Tassenhaus a great night! :) By the sounds of it there's going to be a LOT of fun to be had, and even some new faces. I honestly do miss you guys!

This weekend I'm helping my mom with a new Resume. Working for family is "Just Not Working Out" anymore. I worked in that Insurance Agency. I completely understand what she's going through. So hopefully tonight we can get that going. Sometime this weekend I want to put together some new ferret blankets, and wash up all of their things. My sister and I will be making a Haunted Gingerbread House this weekend too which I'm looking forward to.

Back to work for me. :)

Update on Work Overload

seductivebitch — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 17:59:27 GMT

So I was talking to my Supervisor today about my workload overwhelming me and keeping me at my desk until after 7 each night. Her answer? Well when you work from home typically you work longer than when you're at work. Duh... Gee thanks. Then she gives me yet another report to run, and says that she wants to go over my progress on everything tomorrow and again next week.

*sigh*

I just realized I have a meeting both today AND tomorrow at 4:15pm also. Yay!

New Post

seductivebitch — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 14:41:53 GMT

Yesterday work was insane. Actually there hasn't really been a day in the last month where work wasn't insane now that I think about it. If I can't catch up soon I'm going to have to have a talk with my Supervisor. I'm dealing with a lot of Nation Wide Projects that are overlapping on each others time. It's making it tough enough to get my actual work in.

For anyone of the "meat-eating" ways... I tried something different in the crock pot yesterday. I had 2 lbs of Pork Tenderloin that I didn't know what I wanted to do with. I ended up using BBQ Sauce and a few other things and making it into a Pulled Pork. It turned out fantastic, but the problem with working at home is I wanted to eat my left arm ALL DAY. I ended up locking myself in the office with scented candles burning.

Went to the gym and did just under an hour of cardio. Watched some of the Sabres game while I was there which was a nice motivational touch. Once I got home I decided to watch Pushing Daisies (love it!) and started in on some ferret things I have been meaning to get to. I make blankets for them normally and I was going to make another last night... But I looked in my sewing things and found an old stuffed ball toy that I had saved. Chloe LOVES these and will hide them everywhere but paying for them sucks. I decided to tear it apart, copy it, and try my hand at another. As a first attempt I think it turned out pretty good.

I took it over to the fur-snakes and she sniffed it, chomped, and ran away with it. DING, ferret approved. That was my mini-sense of accomplishment for the night :) I have also been contemplating getting into knitting over the winter as well. We'll see how that goes.

Nothing to change...

seductivebitch — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 21:41:29 GMT

I haven't changed my comment settings at all, but you can still comment anonymously if you'd like.

Go ahead and comment with something you think I need to know. This can be something about me, something about you, whatever it is, something you think I need to know. Be harsh. Be realistic. Lets hear it.

If you want to, go ahead and do the same thing in your LJ.

Seductivebitch in Buffalo

seductivebitch — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 18:04:08 GMT

Okay just to clear the air here... Seductivebitch is in fact back in Buffalo. Yes I'm a Western NYer and I'm back to my roots. Not to "name names" but there is a specific friend that recently re-joined the area as well. Just in case anyone still isn't getting it... I was once in a house situation with said person and their name contains "monk" on lj. Alright so now that we're all on the same page and I have your attention I will comment on recent speculation back on Long Island...

No... This is not my boyfriend, and we are not 'together'.
I'm seeing someone different all together.
But I'm still really glad said "monk" is here :)

If anyone has questions regarding my posts, just contact me :) I'm ldyreena on yahoo and CDuctiveBitsh on AIM. I miss you all (even if I wasn't that out in the open when I was there) and I'd love to hear from you anyway. I have been sketchy with my boyfriend information because it's A) New and B) Nobody any of you actually know, so I didn't see as it mattered a lot at this point.

This concludes my general announcement for the day :)

Why Not...

seductivebitch — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 15:12:51 GMT

Reply to this post, and I will list two or three things I love about you. Then repost to your own journal and spread the love! :)

Sum it up.

seductivebitch — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 19:02:02 GMT

Good Weekend. :)

This weekend was a lot of Family things, but that's fine by me. Friday night my Mom and Sister came over and we watched movies had pizza and drank. By the time they left I was still going and ended up baking cookies drunk at 1am. It was a good night. I have discovered a few things which I find amusing. When I moved to Long Island I had a tolerance that drank Stick under the table. Yes... I know... I was all of 145 lbs and I was drinking more than him. Now I am SUCH a cheap date... OMG. I had all of maybe 5 drinks and I was three sheets to the wind :) It was great. Something else I learned was that my tolerance lowering had no effect on my recovery as I woke without a hang-over. Yay!

Saturday I had some running around to do and then went to Nanas. I decided that I wanted to make a nice dinner and rarely have the bodies to cook for now. There were 4 of us so I made a herb roasted pork tenderloin along with salad, steamed veggies, and wild long grain rice. Of course I brought cookies for afterward because well... I made a lot.

Sunday I did a little more running around. Visited a few hours with Mom and Kelly, did laundry... Then headed back home. Got to watch 1408 with the boy Sunday as well.

I really had a great weekend.

Life Catching Up

seductivebitch — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 22:58:52 GMT

So a long relationship comes to an end. Normally this is going to pair with a "depression", "devastation", and/or a "breakdown". Under usual circumstances this happens the moment you find yourself truly alone.

This wasn't the case with me. When I left Erik I had so much going on. My job was moving with me, my sister was/is sick, i had a big move and a lot of concerns. I was very occupied. And by very I mean, ridiculously, so I didn't experience that. I was alright... I was getting settled... I was adjusting and setting up my home and office... Now I am not.

The last two days were the days that "it all hit me". Unfortunately I have a very analytical mind. When something happens, that's usually not good enough for me. I need to know why and how. In the terms of my relationship I found I have a ridiculous amount of unexplained outcomes, and all of that surfaced. It came out in the form of a "breakdown" and for that I feel terrible. There were a couple days which I spent angry, crying, and making myself physically sick.

It would have seemed to anyone outside my mind, that i am not able to get over what happened. The truth of the matter is that I have. I was fine, and I'll be fine again. I have managed to move on. I mentioned that Erik has moved on and started a new relationship. Truth be told so have I. Everything is going very well.

Timing wasn't good for me to get upset over the whole ordeal. But timing wasn't exactly something I picked. I realize I may have bruised the friendship that Erik and I still have, and I just hope he knows that it has nothing to do with where we are now.

I feel better now, and I know it's a progression... But things will be okay...

Work = The Blah

seductivebitch — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 01:17:29 GMT

So things have been getting steadily busier with the new work-load. I busted my ass yesterday and today to get all that I could done. Then what do I do? Accidentally save a blank workbook in excel over the file containing all that I did for two days. UGH. I had to take that to the supervisor and feel like a complete ass. Of course this has been my most productive 2 days in the new position but whatever. It just figures...

I was invited over to my mom and grams tonight for dinner. It was nice to just be with them for a change. Then mom and I went tanning, and grocery shopping. Not bad for a work night.

I had to clean the ferrets ears and clip their nails today too. They really really do hate it. I've found that the best way to clip their nails is to put (yummy) gel vitamins on their belly-buttons. Then they ignore that you're clipping their nails and lick their tummies the whole time. And lets face it, it's fucking adorable :)

I'm going to kick back with some Peanut Butter Cup ice cream now. Nite all!!

All another day

seductivebitch — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 01:49:51 GMT

So today was filled with work. THings at work have had me very very busy lately... But as much as I have to do I would rather be busy than bored. And at that, just when I start to question how much I have to do... I am thankfully reminded by my supervisor that if I start to get too bogged down to just give the word. I can tell that word will be lingering but for this week I'm going to try and catch up.

I want to thank purplepillow for her response to my previous post. I appreciate that she has offered her thoughts and kind words where she didn't have to, and others had not. Thanks sweetie. You're terrific.

My mom came to dinner tonight in our typical Monday nights together. Since i came home on Mondays she'll come here and I'll make us dinner. Tonight was a shrimp stir-fry that turned out better than expected, and I made a Strawberry Shortcake (with angel food cake) for desert. All in all it was a great night.

I'm an idiot and I don't know how to paste things that I'm looking for into here... So I would just take a moment to say that it is "Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness" day. I hope that everyone has or would please think of all the lost children we know before the days end.

On another note this weekend my sister had her Drill weekend. They decided to bring in a test while she was there to test her "mental capacity" since the loss of her daughter. Somehow they decided that she has enough mental capacity to be sent overseas... so she will be deployed in 2008 to Iraq. That's all they know at this point.

To my German Friends :)

seductivebitch — Sun, 14 Oct 2007 20:23:07 GMT

The original ad that I have for this I found in a cooking magazine. It's on my fridge. It shows a woman in a shirt (only), in a dark kitchen... leaning into a fridge looking for a snack. In the fridge light you can see a "little german" standing in the door of the fridge. The caption "Keep a Little German in the fridge." I LOVE IT! :)

Fall has finally arrived!

seductivebitch — Sun, 14 Oct 2007 14:10:56 GMT

So I'm sure nearly everyone knows through Erik (Stick), but we have split and I moved back to Buffalo. There were a number of things which I won't get into that I needed to come back for. Some family was sick, Erik seemed to have lost most interest in me, and After losing my niece and cousin in the last year I felt I should be home.

Things here have taken a lot of adjusting. I'm living along in an apartment which is a first. It's terrific. Nothing in the world against my former housemates but it's great to have my own space. Besides *smiles* I know that all know what I'm talking about. I did get to keep my job so now I'm working from home. That's going very well and I don't miss my 2-3 hour commute one bit! I've joined a very large gym for women... this last week I hadn't gotten in there because I was disguuuustingly sick... But on average I'm normally back to going 5 days a week.

Seeing old friends and meeting up to hang out has been entirely different. Friends that want to do lunch, go hiking... it's so great to have all of that back. Today I'm going to be making strawberry shortcake and meeting some friends/family at a park. Then we're going to all go hiking down into the gorge and enjoy the weather and fall foliage. I'm really truly looking forward to it.

Erik and I still speak now and then. Sometimes I feel as if I'm a bother to him though. It's a tough situation that I'm still trying to figure out. We don't speak much, but I think I'm going to try and back off some. If he wants to stay in touch like he had been, then he'll call... I know he has moved on and I don't want to make things awkward.

Well I'm off to start in on those strawberries! Yumm

Mourning

seductivebitch — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 21:58:41 GMT

It always amazes me how many ways depression can creep up on you. Sometimes it's a gradual slope downhill... sometimes you jump off a cliff... sometimes things seem like they can't get worse yet they magically do... This has been a steady slope down a terribly dark place.

A year ago today marks the last day I held my niece Bailee before she passed away at 3 months and 5 days old. This marks the day that I said goodbye to her on my last visit home before she passed away on the 19th. In the last few weeks before she passed, she would spit up and choke on her vomit. The Dr said that sometimes it was just difficult for them to cough it but to not worry about it because as she got stronger she would be okay. As it turned out that wasn't the case.

She was so beautiful, so amazing, and just a picture of perfection in my eyes. Since my Birthday Monday everyone in my family is pointing the 'your next to have babies' finger at me. The last two days have had me thinking. I know I want kids someday... but I'm terrified. There's the natural fear that I will lose a child much like my sister lost Bailee, but there's also just the knowing my unconcieved children won't hold a candle to all that Bailee was.

I miss her so much. All day I have been just breaking down in fits of tears. My Sister and I later in the month will be getting our first tattoos for Bailee (butterflies)in remembering the life that she still holds. I just wish I wasn't having such an unbearable time with this.

I'm Moving.... and by this I mean off of Long Island

seductivebitch — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 00:19:35 GMT

This is a disclaimer of sorts... I will not be mentioning the family member which is sick now, as to not upset the family that may read this and doesn't know...

Things have been back and forth in life and relationship as of late. Things decided on their own what has to happen. I'm moving off of Long Island August 3rd. Someone (yes, aside from my cousin that just passed) has developed cancer which is not being easily treated. I'll say enough that it's cervical. They have been receiving treatments but things are unsure at the moment and I feel that I need to be home to help. This person is having a tough time getting to and from the necessary treatments, and the least i can do is help them.

I'm torn on a lot of aspects considering the events. Things look good because the cancer should be able to be treated... but the cirsumstances on my going home suck. I'm glad to be home and closer to my family again (in Buffalo) but this also means that I'll be leaving Erik here in Long Island. Thus leaving my relationship as well. This has to be (short of losing my niece) one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

I'm trying to look at this is another step, that will hopefully work in everyones favor in the end... But my God... I know in my heart of hearts that I need to do this... But I am so scared...

The cycle of life... Interrupted

seductivebitch — Sun, 24 Jun 2007 21:49:10 GMT

This entry is an update to anyone who knows me personally. My cousin Teri has passed away. She suffered this year with cancer, and now her family is pulling through on their own. Teri figured she had bronchitis and went to the dr. They discovered after some tests that what she thought was bronchitis, was actually lung cancer. She went home and took care of her husband and two kids (18 and 7). Over the months to follow her lung cancer went to her bones, and then to her brain. She passed away at Roswell Cancer Institute in Buffalo on Thursday morning. She was supposed to go home to pass away with her family later that day.

I honestly don't want to talk about what happened right now. And I truly do not want to talk about the other things that are going on related to this and my family. But it has happened...

We will miss you Teri...

Angry, Upset, Frustrated... None of these things do what I'm feeling justice...

seductivebitch — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 18:35:59 GMT

I'm just disgustingly pissed right now. Anyone that knows me, knows that my family and my sister have been through a lot lately. My beautiful niece was born June 14th, and passed away September 19th. That has been the single hardest thing any of us have had to experience... I still can't talk about it without starting to cry...

When all of this happened Kelly's Army recruiter said that he was going to get her discharged. He said that she has already gone through more than enough and he didn't think she could handle being sent away. So here we are, nearly 6 months after everything fell apart... and today I hear that her request was denied. That's great. I'm sure that this will help her along in healing. But wait... What's the only thing that would ensure a truely healed person? Oh wait I know, lets deploy her for 18 months too!! Yea that's perfect!

What the fuck is going through these peoples retarded ass minds!? How much does one single person have to go through?! And then here we are as her family, sitting back thinking... My God... We can't let go of her too. I don't understand. I just feel like my trickeling faith in the Military and Government is falling apart between my fingers.

And I can't take being here in Long Island just sitting on my ass while things like this happen back home. My sister is being sent away, my brother is trying to graduate high school and it's kicking his butt. My mom is having surgery this summer which will have her off her feet completely for at least 6 weeks, and my cousin Terry is dying of cancer. Seclusion doesn't make it better, not by a longshot.

I'm so fucking furious...

Update - very short and sweet...

seductivebitch — Sun, 04 Feb 2007 03:31:27 GMT

So I have decided to be Mommy to a few cute little creatures... Erik and I have brought two little adolecent ferret sisters into our lives.
:)
Their names are Chloe and Mona. We have had them now for two weeks and I can't believe how much they have already grown. They were born November 12th. Mona is getting bigger than Chloe, and she tends to not quite understand when to stop "playing" at times. Why? Because on another discovery she's deaf. So it's going to be a little challenging... but I'm glad we have her. I'm just looking at it in the sense that someone else could have her and not realize she can't hear... Or not have a playmate for her to snuggle with. So I'm glad we did this the way we did.

Also I'm going to be running the Charity Auction for the Con this year. So I'm all about ideas and suggestions on how to do things. That's about all i've got for now. Sorry I have been away so long all.

Update

seductivebitch — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 00:57:22 GMT

Well for the most part I have done okay on my, loving myself efforts for the new year. I don't know if I am actually losing weight, or if I'm just decided and carrying myself differently. At work on Friday I had no less that 7 or 8 people telling me that i looked great and that i looked like i was losing weight. I'm scared to set myself up for disappointment. I did snack some and had all you can eat sushi this weekend but that's not so terrible in comparison to what I have been doing. I started going to the gym with Erik... Wen went on Friday and we're going back tomorrow. This is going to be something I'm sure he will join me with often but I'll be there more. I also have decided that I just simply cannot deal with the pasty white skin anymore. It's not even so much the pasty skin. It's even more the dark blue veins that are showing through all over the place that I simply can't hide anymore. So with this, I have decided to start tanning again. I know it's not the healthiest of things, but in doing so, I do it as carefully as I can and only in moderation. Then in accordance to the gym and tanning pampering, I have been feeling decidedly more girly. With that, I gave myself a lovely pedicure this afternoon also :)

I know that I have already had some fall-backs in the path to bettering myself. With my diet, with my thoughts, and all that goes along. But my decision is to deal, and I'm learning to. I am also getting ready to finish my second book for the 50 book challenge. Things are underway and I am doing alright.