They tell me I am free now, Free in mind and body

Freebies - UK only

sea_yeah — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 11:20:09 GMT

Don't know if this actually works, but I thought I'd give it a go. I'm trying to get a free Playstation. Give it a go!

http://gifts.freebiejeebies.co.uk/116790

Kink Challenge

sea_yeah — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 22:30:05 GMT

So there are a few kink meme's going on at the moment (blindfold_spn and spnkink_meme. Well, I've decided to have my own, mainly because of mckays_girl and isaacsapphire's conversation in the Unicorn!Dean/Sam fic. I intend to make this as cracky and 'less mainstream' as possible - it's more about challenging you to write something you don't necessary like but making seem as sexy as possible.

I intend to set regular prompts for mckays_girl and isaacsapphire (and anyone else who fancies having a go) in the hopes of covering every kink/fetish possible. I've tried to come up with a 'basic' list, but that itself seems like a mammoth task.

Fetish	mckays_girl's fics	isaacsapphire's fics
Objectum sexuality (objectophilia)	With Just a Flick of the Wrist(band)	Modern Conveniences
Vorarephilia	awaiting	It's Different if it's a Gift
Narratophilia	awaiting	awaiting

Note to self: List of paraphilias

SPN Kinkmeme entry.

sea_yeah — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 13:28:53 GMT

Title: The Hunter's Way
Author: sea_yeah
Fandom: SPN
Pairings: John/Dean, Bobby/Dean, John/Dean/Bobby
Rating: Definitely NC-17
Word count: 753
Warnings/spoilers: dub/non-con, incest.
Summary: John Winchester teaches Dean how to be a more successful hunter.
A/N: I can't believe I've written. I can't believe I wrote THIS.

The Spartans had it right. How could you trust your life to someone if you couldn't trust to perform the most intimate act with them. The life of a hunter isn't easy, often working alone with both supernatural and humans that could turn against you. Hunters needed to be able to trust the people that backed them up. This is what John Winchester has been trying to teach Dean.

Watching his fellow hunter Bobby Singer thrusting into his teenaged son on the cheap motel bed, John thought back to when he first had this talk with Dean. He had caught Dean masturbating to a porn magazine.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing!" John bellowed, sending Dean scrambling to hide under the bed covers. Pulling Dean from the bed and onto the floor, John furiously asked Dean, “Did you just clean the weapons?”

From the way Dean just stared at John, he knew that the boy was confused with his seemingly non-related questions and made an effort to calm down. It wasn't his boy's fault, Dean didn't understand and that was partly John's lack of foresight. He just didn't realise how quickly his boy was growing. Pulling Dean to sit with him on the bed, he began to explain to his son how a hunter never went on a hunt nor clean and fix their weapons when their hormones were 'uncontrollable'. Especially at Dean's age, he needs to satisfy any sexual hunger before these tasks, otherwise how can he concentrate on the job at hand. He also gave Dean a little lesson on ancient history, how the Spartans went into combat, loving and trusting their fellow warrior and that very evening, began Dean's training on the secrets of being a successful hunter.

The lessons had began small. First they spent the time just before a hunt masturbating in the same room, which quickly moved on to them masturbating each other. The boy had to learn to be completely at ease with his father and trust explicitly everything he was told. By the time John first fucked Dean with his cock, both in the mouth and ass, Dean had had many lessons with John inserting his fingers in him. John was very pleased that Dean did not cry from the painful intrusion when he pushed his cock past his tight anal muscles.

Bringing his attention back to the room, he noted how Bobby had increased his pace, pistoning furiously into Dean's ass, pained whimpers escaping Dean's mouth and eyes tightly shut. John sighed. That was something else they needed to work on. No matter the pain you were in, you needed to be aware of your surroundings at all time and never ever betray your location. With those sounds he's letting out now? His enemy could easily find him on a hunt.

But back to today's training. John had introduced Dean to one of his most trusted fellow hunters, Bobby. They had both taken turns in fucking Dean in the mouth and his ass, now John was going to introduce him to the concept of team work. Giving his hardening penis a tug, he looked at his son's panting lips. God! His son was like a Siren, he was glad that they had time to slake their need before they had to go out to hunt the Werewolf. He couldn't have Dean's ass distracting them during the hunt now can he?

Lifting Dean's head and shoulders from the bed, John pushed his cock all the way into Dean's mouth and down his throat without warning. Dean let out a choked noise but soon settled down as he withdrew a little and began to shallowly fuck the mouth around his cock. Feeling little response from Dean, he looked down and saw Dean's eyes were closed again.

In frustration, John stopped his thrusts and gripped hard at Dean's chin. "Dean! Pay attention. You need to be aware of what both of us is doing, in a hunt there are always more than one thing happening and you need to learn to deal it."

As John began thrusting back into his son's mouth he felt Dean's tongue flicking around his shaft, and by the hitch in Bobby's breathing he knew Dean was tightening his muscles around Bobby. John was proud, he knew his obedient son was a fast learner and with that, he picked up the pace to match Bobby's and continued with the training all night. After all, they still had one night to full moon.

A/N: I always find it hard to believe how John could abuse Dean, I guess the only way was if it had something to do with hunting. I tried not to make John malicious here - he genuinely believes in the training. It's not about the sex, as it is with cannon John, he's obssessed with hunting and here, he twistedly believes this will help.

Help For Heroes

sea_yeah — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 21:24:42 GMT

Photoshopping! \o/

sea_yeah — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 23:00:13 GMT

Sooooo...I've started photoshopping again and have done some quick headers that's slightly non-fandom related (hopefully will post up soon).

I'm also working on a set that I'm quite chuffed about - mainly about the idea and not the skill as it doesn't require much. (I'm easing myself back in) That said, I need some help. I've completely forgotten how to use this program and there's a certain feature I want to use for manipping purposes but can't remember how. I've tried googling but obviously my skills there has died. I also remember being part of an icon making community where there were a lot of tutorials. Unfortunately I can't remember the name of the community and I've obviously been booted out due to my lack of activity (I wish they warn you when they do that)

Anyone who's reading - Help please?

(Point me to a good community or someone who has the expertise?)

Hulk!Jared

sea_yeah — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 23:39:43 GMT

Dang it!

I was just pondering this a couple of days ago. And now someone has just posted a manip of hulk!Jared. *pouts* I wanted to do that :o(

*big fat sulky mood*

sea_yeah — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 22:05:00 GMT

First of all. mckays_girl = LOVE

Second:

For the love of all that is sacred. GEN=GEN. HET=HET. SLASH=SLASH.

HET DOES NOT EQUAL GEN

I hate that just because there isn't a slash pairing, the story is Gen. No it bloody is not. 'Slash' shouldn't be treated as a warning - it's a valid pairing. If there aren't any pairing of any kind. THAT is GEN.

Inspiration Please

sea_yeah — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 17:14:21 GMT

So I was feeling nostalgic and decided to triapse around lj and my journal to see what I've missed.

*sigh* Why don't I feel the enthusiasm to manip or make icons any more? My that seemed like a very short-lived hobby. I actually doSo I was feeling nostalgic and decided to triapse around lj and my journal to see what I've missed.

*sigh* Why don't I feel the enthusiasm to manip or make icons any more? My that seemed like a very short-lived hobby. I actually do still want to, but I just don't feel inspired. Looking back at my old stuff, I just think - "Why can't i have ideas like that now?" Maybe it was the lovely chats I used to have with my fellow hay1ock stalkers...and I guess hay1ock herself :op - I guess they just made me all fuzzy inside.

Also, looking at my old stuff - why are my animated icons so fast? Have they always been like that - I can barely read some of them!

Aaaand another thing. Not that I have many people on myflist, especially SGA people, but I don't suppose anyone saved my McShep sock!puppet icons? Can't seem to find them on lj or photobucket and have recently lost everything on my comp (I may have backed them up somewhere - no idea where though as it's been such a long time). I don't understand - did I not make a post with the icons? I know I used them. So I'm hoping someone saved them as I was using them *tis hopeful*

Challenge to anyone out there. Please please inspire me somehow - I want to come back to lj land, but I don't know how. Gimme some ideas, gimme some pics, make me manip something!!! Actually, maybe not. I don't have a drawing package anymore :(

How Mad Are You?

sea_yeah — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 22:21:14 GMT

Yup. I have come out of the woodwork. So what has been happening? Well. I had constant issues with the internet at my landlady's house. Then I moved house so had no internet for ages. THEN I had the BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH.

Anyhoo. I do have internet now, though it seems to have been acting up. I can barely get the webpages loaded.

I obviously have lost msn and consequently all the contacts there - though I presume I can get them off hotmail?

Basically, I want to ask (if there is still anyone watching my journal), do you want to resume contact with me? If so, I'll add you in as soon as I can download msn.

Finally, did anyone watch Horizon's 'How Mad Are You?' tonight? Erm...I recognise Holly from somewhere - are you someone I used to talk to or do I recognise this person from personal photos/icons across fandom? PLEEEEASE HELP!

Sooo...how have you guys been? Tell me what's been happening and please accept my sincere apologies for not being around.

Okaaaaay

sea_yeah — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 22:28:50 GMT

Thank goodness I rarely involve myself with fandom - not that I ever really was that involved. I am thankful that I barely know what's going on and I don't think I want to either. However, I DID read one post and I think it's very very reasonable.

So PLEASE FLIST - if you are strongly opinionated in either direction, please read this post - I honestly think that this poster is very reasonable and poses justifications for both sides and postulates what might be the reality and iterates that most of fandom don't actually know the real facts.

So please please - read this and calm down

http://vinylroad.livejournal.com/69420.html

But I'm positive that all my flisters are very rational people and I apologise for being another person posting about this.

Dark Fantasy

sea_yeah — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 21:30:23 GMT

So here's my new layout - I wanted to have a better background - but I got tired going through all the templates, so I settled for an easy one until I have more time to play. (Note to self - H)

There may be a 'Dark Fantasy' themed fancy dress ball around about Halloween and I need some ideas. I don't want to do a typical black fairy or whatever - can anyone think of any dark fantasy-esque characters in literature/tv? Or any other suggestions?

Thank you!

And hello all!! Long time no speak!

Visit to the Good ole U. S. of A.

sea_yeah — Tue, 06 May 2008 22:32:24 GMT

Hiya guys!

Sorry once again for the lack of ljness.

I need your help. I'm hopefully going to be in New York city for a couple of days at the end of June and I was hoping you can give me any tips of what to go and see. I don't mean the typical tourist sites - I can easily look those up - something quirky and not too touristy. Something different and possible quirkly or even just plain good.

And most importantly - the best places to eat - lunch or evening meal. Budget or expensive-ish/fancy-ish.

Oh oh - and any cheap but nice places to stay at.

Any suggestions used - I'll gladly bring/post something to you from the UK (if you're in the US/Canada) or from the US (if you're from the UK/Europe)

Also, to you lovely people that I talk to, is there anything you want? (From either side of the pond) Feel free to think about it, but I will be leaving for the states at the end of this month.

Thanks in advance!

S3: Dean's Deal - My Solution

sea_yeah — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 23:58:13 GMT

Sooo...the colt - they kill things completely dead right? As in when they shoot a demon - it ceases to exist - it doesn't just return to hell. Therefore, what happens when they kill humans? Does that mean their soul/essence/whatever just disappear aswell? So I guess as a last resort, they could shoot Dean. Ok, it's a bit drastic, but at least he won't be in hell...

Or has someone else thought about this already? Any fics? Are there communities where people can offer bunnies? Spread the word.

*goes back into the ether*

Why Cruel Internet Why?

sea_yeah — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 23:32:22 GMT

So now that the holiday period is over I'm back home (& work - darn!). I was happy to find that the household has internet once more.

However. The internet kept connecting/disconnecting...connecting/disconnecting. And today? It didn't connect at all *CRIES*

So know I'm quickly using someone else's net and would like to tell my msn buddies as well as anyone who I chat to over lj - I have not abandoned ye. It's just the internet has abandoned me.

:(

VOTE FOR TEH ANGST

sea_yeah — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 22:52:00 GMT

Ok, so I finally have internet access but I was trying to complete something (amongst all the holiday celebrations and catching up) so that I could make a big *Hooray! I'm back!* post.

HOWEVER.

hay1ock goes and posts this poll about the future of a sequel in her Glitter AU. Now as much as I like angst, I don't like pointless angst - fics that just throw in angst, violence, twists & turns - just for the sake of 'exciting' readers, just completely annoy me.

But in this case, I honestly can see there be a potential for more angsty goodness because in both the main fic and this new happy one-off, I can clearly see little seeds of future problems. Besides, just because I said angst, that does not = breaking Jensen. He can have angst without going all blubbery.

HOWEVER AGAIN

The 'nice' option in her poll is clearly winning. Nooooo...This has to change!!! Don't get me wrong - I don't want plain angst, I would want happiness too, but more of an angsty story with happy bits.

OF COURSE I have an ulterior motive. hay1ock has told me that she would have a nervous breakdown if she has to go through the same process when she was writing poor Jensen in the Glitter fic. Now that would be ENTERTAINING *big grin*

SO PLEASE. Even if you have never read this fic or this fandom: VOTE FOR TEH ANGST.

For me? Pleeeeeeeeeeeease

Internet Withdrawal

sea_yeah — Sun, 09 Dec 2007 17:11:12 GMT

OMG OMG OMG

I have been without internet for 2 weeks now. I'm only able to post this because I'm borrowing someone's internet time *shhhhhh*

So just a quick hello and can I say, LJers are just FANTASTIC!!!!!!! mckays_girl and lishel_fracrium - I have no words. I love you guys so much at the moment. Thank you VERY VERY much for the paid account time. I must use my internet free time constructively and make you guys the porniest McShep ever. (Or anything else you want).

And hay1ock...OMG I miss you so much right now. Thank you so so much for the phone calls and pleeeeeeeeeeeeease pleeeeeeease don't get used to my absence.

All you other spn ljers. I really miss you too.

Ok :( gotta go!

Hope to be back soon!!! *CRIES*

Spam Me

sea_yeah — Sun, 25 Nov 2007 23:35:20 GMT

Well guys, I'm going to be away for a week. Sooo...if for some miraculous reason you think of me during this week, pop in and say hello. Any recs or links to things you think I should see would be much appreciated. Tell me anything you want, tell me if you've posted and that if I don't read it - I'd get a thorough spanking :D

Anyhoo, I was meant to leave you all a parting gift, but I didn't have what I needed. So here's my rough go of a J2 make-up pic. Unfort it's only icon size cos the picture I have of Jared is teeny. If anyone has the bigger version, I will love you very much if I could snag. Also, I would love to have make-up suggestions.

Er...yeah, Jared will eventually be normal sized. And as it's hard to tell, I'll have to describe it to ya. Jared has purple lipstick, purply-blue eyeshadow and these pink tendrils coming down from his eyes, spreading across his face (I have no idea why) - where each tendril ends with a white 'sequin'.

I also made this Clown!McKay picture a while ago, but I don't think I ever posted cos it was just a quickie fun thing I did in response to one of mckays_girl fic. (I think). Take a quick look - it certainly made me chuckle whilst I was doing it.

Christmas Wishlist 2007

sea_yeah — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 22:18:49 GMT

I wasn't going to do this, but I am extremely bored. I don't know why, I just can't be bothered with lj anymore - I'm not even replying or reading most of my flist's posts :( Which brings me to no1:

(1) A shortlist of the BEST fanfiction in the following fandoms: CSI (Gen - Nick Stokes); NCIS (Gibbs&DiNozzo or Gibbs/DiNozzo); Stargate Atlantis (Gen or slash McKay-Sheppard); ST: Voy (Gen Paris or Slash C/P); Supernatural (Gen Dean-centric); Supernatural RPS (J2 or even J3). So please please can you give me your ultimate rec - a well-written fic, don't think about content or subject of the story - gimme QUALITY writing. There's just too many fics to trawl through.

(2) Paid (permanent?) lj account and extra icon space;
(3) I want to meet certain special lj-ers, but they too far away :( so yeah, an around the world ticket would be handy :D Any ljers in the UK? Want to meet? hay1ock you don't count, I'm determined to see you again at one point anyway *Muah ha ha ha*;
(4) Enough money so I never have to work again;
(5) Music recs - Less main stream (in the UK) singer song-writer type music. Any language or no words accepted. And any dls for them if possible
(6) Books: "Metallica" and Philosophy: A Crash Course in Brain Surgery; *cough*any Karma Sutra book*cough*; any beginners guide to physcology/physcoanalysis etc type books; too many to mention at the mo.
(7) Original DVDS: NCIS (all seasons except 1); Stargate Atlantis (all); Supernatural (S2); ST: Voy (all); CSI (Season 5 onwards); *blush*Any Yaoi(?) films*blush* (dl links would be gladly accepted)
(8) An external hard-drive (1TB? Do they exist yet? Ok, I'd settle for 750MB or 500MB);
(9) A writer at my beck and call :D
(10) World Peace (seriously) or at least I wish people will get what the deserve.

E-mail addy in my profile, and if you're feeling generous, I'm sure we can arrange some kind of safe money transfer :D

Step One
- Make a post (public, friendslocked, filtered...whatever you're comfortable with) to your LJ. The post should contain your list of 10 holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fun ("I'd love a Snape/Hermione icon that's just for me") to medium ("I wish for _____ on DVD") to really big ("All I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV.") The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.
- If you wish for real possible things, make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) could get in touch with you.
- Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your LJ, or link to this post (it'll be public) so that the holiday joy will spread.

Step Two
- Surf around your friendslist (or friendsfriends, or just random journals) to see who has posted their list. And now here's the important part:
- If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use--or even know where you could get someone's dream purebred Basset Hound for free--do it.
You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf--to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not--it's your call.
There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just...wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive. And you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special.

Cross-posted to wishlist_2007

Birthdays and Hookers - Yup, a typical header

sea_yeah — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 19:55:07 GMT

Sooo...I'm presuming I'm unloved because lj wasn't showing my birthday to my lj friends. At least I hope that's the reason why. So I'm going to forget about pride and see if this post prompts anyone to give me birthday humps.

Anyhoo...HAPPY BIRTHDAY to sazzy_angel as well! Scorpios for the win!

Also many many thanks to mckays_girl for the porny drabble and the comment fic we've been doing recently - it has been so much fun. Hopefully, we'll be able to make it a little more presentable, so flist - keep your eyes open, because everyone needs to read a Zombie!porn fic once in their lives :D

Well, I think I saw my first ever male hooker yesterday. At first I thought it was slightly thrilling, and thought about all those wonderful hooker!fics I have read. But then I looked closely and really thought about the real life implications.

This kid - and he was a kid, was all alone. In the cold. In the big city with presumably all his possessions in the one bag he had near him. It's very heart-breaking to think that he will be taken advantage of, most likely by sleazy old men.

I could be wrong, and I hope I'm wrong, but I was told that the area we, quickly, went through was notorious for all sorts of shady dealings.

*cries* I think I'm going to feel guilty for reading hooker!fics now...at least for a little while. *sigh* I have no shame.

NaNoWriMo

sea_yeah — Sat, 03 Nov 2007 08:42:11 GMT

So I've decided to do a crazy thing - I'm going to participate in NaNoWriMo aka the National Novel Writing Month. 50k words in 30 days...well 28 days now considering I haven't started - I haven't even registered, which is very sill of me because I came to this decision several days ago. Not a good start eh?

Anyhoo...I do have an idea and am going to start on it right away - of course, being me, it is very very wacky.

So lets get to it - good luck and have FUN fellow NaNos! Feel free to drop by and scribble a note - tell me how yours is going, badger me for info, kick me in the butt and tell me to get a move on...(hence why I've changed my journal layout - hopefully seeing this page will keep reminding me to write)

Oh the Pretty!

sea_yeah — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 21:49:58 GMT

Well these months, I have been going giddy with putting make-up on Jensen in PhotoShop for hay1ock's gorgeous, sad but pretty fic, Behind Your Glittered Eyes. I never would have thought I'd be a fan of a guy in make-up, but man he looks pretty.

Here you can see the cover for the fic, misc pictures, as well as the icons that were unfortunately too big for lj to handle. I loved the original size so I thought I'd put these here because it's a shame for them to just sit in my hard drive unloved.

You can browse my photobucket folder instead. There are a lot more there, but many are similiar to each other. However, all the pics are viewed through thumbnails, so I guess it's easier to load that page up.

1	2	3

4	5	6

(Yeah - no.6's 'zoom' is a bit shakey)

From this:

to this (ok, yeah - the 'foundation is a little off, but I spent such a long time trying to correct it and this was the point at which I gave up:

*Phew* Well that's it for now. I am determined to do more, for both Jensen and Jared, some related and some not related to said fic above. If anyone is reading this, are there any pics or make-up combos you would like done?

Accepted 'Manly' Phrases

sea_yeah — Sun, 21 Oct 2007 00:09:26 GMT

So I've just come back from watching the England vs S.Africa rugby match (finals) at the pub. I have never watched a match before and I do not understand the sport at all, but I'm glad I went cos I realised many wonderous things. Even though the blokes were all being macho - shouting about rugby is a real man's sport, how footballers are wussies; shouting at a S.African player to cut his girly hair; and generally joking (in not a good way) about man/man sexing - when the match started - the following were perfectly acceptable speech:

(1) Dominate them!
(2) Fuck him!
(3) Shag the bastard!
(4) Push push push.
(5) ...(there was something else - but I can't re what it is)

So even though I was nervous being amongst such a large crowd of people - hearing those phrases really put my mind in a happy place.

*stares at the butt grabbing*

Mmmm...

*ceases shakey typing*

Update, Fic rec, The Funnies

sea_yeah — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 17:14:05 GMT

Wow. It's been a while since I posted...I think. If you've been following hay1ock's Glitter fic (You should - I really really want to pet, snuggle and wrap those boys up in cotton wool and keep them in my pocket), then you may have noticed the icons I have been making for her. Well, watch this space, I hope to do more (and if you have a HQ pic of either Jensen or Jared...*AMEND* if you have a pic of ANYONE - I'll happily give it a go) and will post soonish.

Anyway, snagged this off puppydifranco. So so funny.

MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

This coming week is National Mental Health Care week.
You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable
person to show you care.

Well, my job is done .....Your turn

Oh How I Missed You

sea_yeah — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 17:27:41 GMT

OMG - Never again! Over 1 week of no internet connection, apart from the brief internet time at the library - where both LJ and FFNT is blocked, I am finally connected to the internet in my new place.

You'd think that I could survive without the internet - well, ok - I didn't die or anything - but I have been distraught from the lack of new reading material. However, I am now in the position of tackling a flist that I need to start at prev 660. *EEP* O_o

So guys - what has been happening? Any lj gossip? What have you been up to? How are you? Any must reads?

Me? New job, new career, new place, new city.

LOVES YA ALL

More Food!Porn, I mean Food!Erotica

sea_yeah — Sat, 15 Sep 2007 16:25:36 GMT

Well, here are more food sex! The first collection can be found here and if you are crazy enough, I've written more now.

~~Fork 'n'~~ Chopsticks

WARNING: Implied Twin!sex
Pairing: Inanimate object/inanimate object/food

Chopsticks are a beautiful set of twins. They did everything together - lived, washed and ~~had sex~~ performed.

Long, thin and smooth. Those size 0 models had nothing on them.

They loved being used with all sorts of Food. There was nothing they couldn't handle, with the exception of Swedish (Meat) Balls. Sometimes, they were just too big and slippery, from all their meat juices, to handle but they persevere. And just because they're girls, doesn't mean they don't do any thrusting of their own, so those balls better watch out.

Sliding through Tofu, entangling with Noodles, diving into a crowd of Rice; these only enhanced the feeling they got when they rubbed against each other. Bodies clacking together, juices running down their sides, they perform an erotic dance through all their lovers. Even the mouth of their Handler couldn't help but lick the juices off them, eager to give them oral pleasure.

------------------------------------------------

I wasn't sure about this next one - I wrote this right after the other batch, but I kept thinking about it and I just can't correct what's wrong with it. So here it is anyway. It's not at all as 'happy' as the other ones :(

Sausage in the ~~Bum~~ Bun

WARNINGS: Undertones of/implied: virginity; slavery; prostitution; blood, snuff(?), death, inappropriate tanning of ~~a body part~~ one's meat, ~~sex~~identity change (it's hard to explain). Oh oh oh - and a hint of racism. (please note that I do not in any way support most of these warnings in real life). OMG - its 1000words long!!! O.o

He'd barely lived his life before he was sold, sold with his many brothers and sisters by their creator, The Baker. His mind was in turmoil. How could she? How could she be so desperate to sell them for so little money? Are we really that worthless? Does nobody care?

They were packed together closely, huddled against one another to preserve body heat. Looking around, Bun stared in horror - there were rows and rows of buns just like him. All sold to satisfy the sadistic bastards who want fresh, young, unused bread.

The next few hours were spent being moved around by their owners. Every time the door to their cage opened, some of them were taken and handed to their new owners, each time, their ownership papers were exchanged.

Once their prison became dark again, everybun started whispering nervously again, swapping stories, exchanging information, trying to understand why this was happening to them. It was the same story over and over again. Their Baker needed money and they were cheap, easy commodity; a result from our Baker's frequent dalliances with Flour, Eggs and God knows what else.

Most of them were being sold to Supermarkets, apparently a place that catered to every taste, to every fancy, to every deviance. Everything was beautifully ~~dressed~~ packaged and displayed - displayed provocatively to entice buyers. They were different to Restaurants. In Supermarkets, buns were likely to be subjected to a good groping and squeezing before they were brought. They were chosen. In Restaurants however, buns were nothing. The Customers wanted the rich Meats and the sweet Vegetables. They were the cheap hanger-ons to make the others look good. They weren't spared a glance before they were...(well, it's just too painful to describe)

Bun was with the last few unsold. Like the others, he was becoming very afraid. They weren't being sold to the Supermarket or the Restaurant. Which meant only one thing... they were going to be sold to the Street Vendor.

The Street Vendor were shady sellers. Working in small cramped places, often located in the ~~Red Light~~ Stadium District, where hungry, starved Johns patrolled, looking for cheap thrills to satisfy their needs.

All too soon, Bun and the others were bundled out of their relatively safe prison, (which was apparently called The Van. At least that was what he heard) and thrust into the hands of their final owner, ready to be sold as he saw fit. It was a Street Vendor.

Now imprisoned in a small silver box, Bun was aware of the presence of other buns. There were some that were like himself, but there were others of a much darker complexion. He couldn't help but stare. They were so different.

What are you staring at? You stupid white bitch.

Before Bun could offer any apologies, somebun next to him interrupted.

Pfft! Ignore them. They're Wholemeal. They're just bitter that they're not as wanted as us White Buns.

The next hour was then filled by his neighbouring bun telling him all about their purpose, their duty, their job that was being forced upon them by their owner the Street Vendor. He learnt all about the different Sausages that existed, they being the buns' paired partners.

There were the proper Meat Sausages (aka the British Bangers as they were in the UK), the best of the lot. They're naturally soft, but the Street Vendor does something to them until they're all hot and harder than they were before. They also came with a see-through casing for protection, but there have been stories that the sausages would sometimes get overheated and it would burst, their juices leaking out.

Next were the Frankfurters (aka the Wieners). They were the Himbos of the Sausage world. They were slim, sleek and supported a smoked look, often over-tanning that they become a little orange. They were always ready for action, able to jump straight in without any preparation and they were arrogant enough to think that they didn't need any protection.

Last and probably least wanted, were the Vegetarian Sausages. They were not Sausages by nature, undergoing Soya treatments in ~~Bangkok~~ the Manufacturing Plant until they came back out looking like all the other Sausages (the difference being that they are now full of nuts)

From the slight gap in the prison door, Bun could see that it was starting to get dark outside, and soon the Street Vendor could be heard getting ready to open for business. The sounds that followed were terrifying. The Sausages were hissing, spitting and squealing in either pain or pleasure. Burnt flesh could be smelt.

One by one, his brothers and sisters and the other buns were taken out of their prison. Bun tried very hard not to hear the groans of pain from them. There weren't that many of them left now, Wholemeal or White. They were slowly being sold for pleasure. Then the Street Vendor came for him.

He was being slowly stretched open with a thick cool yellow ~~lubricant~~ creamy substance roughly slathered, coating his insides. Still in shock, Bun barely noticed the extra-large British Banger coming towards him, only briefly registering the painful looking lashes the Sausage seemed to have received.

The Street Vendor then merciless thrust the Banger into him. Searing hot pain. It was too much. Banger was too big for Bun to accommodate and he could feel himself starting to tear. A red-coloured viscous fluid began to run out of Bun and he could feel Banger begin to move a lot easier in him. Through the haze of ~~pain~~ sensations, Bun's last image was of a gaping cavern, cruelly tearing the flesh from both the Sausage and his body. Then he knew no more...

Apologies to all HotDog vendors out there. I'm sure not all of you are cruel pimps, selling all those poor virginal buns and sausages to greedy pot-bellied devourers of the innocent.

Please spare a thought for the poor bun the next time you gobble a hot dog on your way home from a football match or a night out clubbing. And no, those are not tears in my eyes, they're just a little wet from cutting the onions - but that's another story...