scowlette

scowlette — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 17:33:15 GMT

Brittany and I did a 16 page, one night, mini-zine about 2009.
Let me know if you want one.

moving with the times

scowlette — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 17:54:26 GMT

after using livejournal for the last 8 or so years i am moving. to greener, prettier, lazier pastures.

http://yoursecretary.tumblr.com

tell me yours.

scowlette — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 23:59:29 GMT

I just saw the girls who live above us leave for a Halloween party and they were all wearing blatantly racist costumes.

grad school, it's my life and it's my wife.

scowlette — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 21:37:46 GMT

grad school is my boyfriend.
grad school is my girlfriend.

mix cds

scowlette — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 06:29:18 GMT

city living
1. shaun allen
2. megan bauman

over it
1. alana robbie
2. raechel tiffe

baconmaster
1. emily cocarell
2. nicole d.

night riding
1. brittany m
2. mandy

wrestling pictures
1. meggan kimmerle
2. carrie stefanski

librianna
1. amy kempe
2. kelley v

if you want one, let me know which.
let it be a surprise, although most of the track listings are posted somewhere

scowlette — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 04:04:08 GMT

right now my ears feel so warm.
sweetness.

scowlette — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 06:24:30 GMT

my loans went through and i got some of my books.
today was pretty awesome.

people keep saying, "be careful with your heart."

scowlette — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 15:32:31 GMT

Meaghan and I were talking once and I said there was something I felt was right, but it wasn't the thing that, in my heart, I wanted. She said that, in essence, intellectualizing these things are all well and good, but that I would probably do the thing I wanted to do, even if it wasn't smart. A couple weeks ago I got a postcard from Ciara that said, "You only learn the things you want to learn."

There's some really great stuff in my life - awesome roommates, a great living situation, school in a month, some really supportive friends, a loving family, and just the presence to know when things are good. There have been some, dare I say, tranformative and transcendent occasions of recent. I am excited for the birth of my nephews and Kate's son. I am stoked to be training for the 5K even though I have a way to go. Kayaking is the peaceful and solitary activity for which I had been searching.

My friends are usually there to listen when I am in crisis.

Also, some of the shit from the past has been clearing itself away. Some people are just jokes. I hate how I hold onto relationships when they aren't working for me. If I have a problem with someone I try to be as honest as I can. I remember Betty saying something she appreciated about me when we met is that she heard I made fun of her hair. When she confronted me on it I said, "yes. i made fun of your hair out of a sense of jealous." Wow! Admitting when you are wrong, even if you aren't going to be rewarded, is such an experience. By rewarded I mean forgiven.

Lately I have been thinking about that summer awhile ago and how it's easy to think of the bad stuff. It is near impossible to think of the quiet moments or the victories because they make me mourn them even more. Seriously, even writing this and thinking about those nights is making me a little teary.

I always give some bullshit answer when people ask about my apathy tattoo. Not many people do though. I remember when I got it. I think I got it after my "fifty percent" so at the time I didn't have many tattoos (only 2 on that arm, including apathy) and it was my only tattoo in color. It bled ink for weeks, sticking to my sheets and reminding me of why I got it. This girl said we were so "whatever, apathetic." It wasn't apathy that sparked two years of silence. Ambivalence did it.

telling is an idea.

scowlette — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 12:02:01 GMT

I joined race and religion group because a powerful ally of the group called them the "rabblerousers of the church" - the group most agitating for change at Broadway. I remember when I had to stand up in front of the congregation and name my ministry in front of my friends and family. I said my mission was to make Broadway (and in turn, myself and those I come into contact with) a more inclusive place. This was in the heyday of all the shake-up concerning racism at the church (and in the leadership). I have always been a troublemaker and hopefully, sometimes, for good.

Anna moved in and I see her going through what I went through when I first moved here. She says every 20 minutes or so how happy she is to be here, thanking us for being her roommates, and asking permission to do everything. It made me have a funny thought that this place doesn't exist, that it is just a refuge for people coming out of bad situations. It was a funny thought for one moment.

I am reading all these devastating books right now like "Stone Butch Blues" and "Cures" because I have been rubbing up against a lot of intergenerational bad feelings in "the community" esp at G-H. Even a dude at Broadway was talking about how his father, a former Missouri statesmen, refuses to allow his partner at holiday dinners. "stop trying to insinuate this person into our family," the old politician says. "what you don't understand is this is my family," the son replies. Often we are talking politics and our personal drama, who said what about whom. It's easy to get all theoritecal about marriage and our radical politics, but this guy seemed genuinely raw.

I feel doomed. i know i have been in love about a thousand times, although i have said it's been only once. I know that panicked feeling. I fell in love with this morning, waking up at dawn with a crisp breeze coming from my window and my knees up on the sill. what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck. Even at thirty, as I feel all worn down and exhausted, I go from this day to the next, savoring every last second even as it's disregarded for the next. break off those words and eat them, sour and sweet alike.

scowlette — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 16:48:52 GMT

i feel like i am running to catch up with you, but you won't slow down. the only thing i can do is wait for you to come back around again.

this is all about wait and see, take things as they come, and don't talk too much or too loud. these are all things contrary to my very nature.

Writer's Block: Parental Involvement

scowlette — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 03:16:45 GMT

yes-ish.

i kissed a girl and i liked it.

scowlette — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 09:07:33 GMT

Anna has been talking about romance lately, how it's not cool, but she wants to bring it back. I say, "I'm into romance, but not the chocolates and flowers kind, more the "love never dies" kind. I am into Dracula romance."

scowlette — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 18:14:24 GMT

today i ate only real food.

scowlette — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 04:51:30 GMT

see. this is how it goes.
i just met an amazing man
who is in the marines
and likes metal
and trash.
and is soooooooo
hot.
like drop
dead
gorgeous.

this is how it goes.

scowlette — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 06:14:53 GMT

today i thought of a hundred mean things to say.

scowlette — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 22:43:46 GMT

brittany gave me a big compliment when she said, "you make gay seem like an exclusive, cool club." or something like that.

lower your demographic

scowlette — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 05:57:21 GMT

I have decided, after much consideration, to start a physical zine archive as part of Gerber-Hart. They currently don't have any zines. In fact, I would say much of their material (all but a small portion of which has been donated) leans towards the more mainstream LG(BT) population. I am one of the few people under 45 who volunteers there.

I will be donating all my queer zines as part of this project. If you have any queer zines to donate that would be awesome. I will work on cataloging this project for two years while I am in grad school and then will donate the whole project to Gerber-Hart where it will become part of their non-circulating materials.

More info about Gerber-Hart can be found here: http://www.gerberhart.org/

I am looking for lesbian, gay, trans, queer, bisexual, questioning, and intersex zines covering all subject matter including (but not limited to) political, personal, identity, music, and erotica.

Zines can be sent to:
Jami Thompson
c/o Steve Thompson
5210 N. Magnolia
Chicago, IL 60647

questions and contact: queerzines@gmail.com

cool trinkets and doodads.

scowlette — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 16:37:56 GMT

As I get older I have found that the only people who want to see your bedroom are people who want to SEE your bedroom.

homemade jam, bread, and dehydrated mangos.

scowlette — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 19:55:04 GMT

i feel this is where i was meant to be and maybe if i hadn't had that other experience i wouldn't appreciate it as much.

scowlette — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 20:44:51 GMT

for the first time in awhile the 13 year old girl i nanny is upstairs crying that her friends are so mean. things never change.

scowlette — Thu, 28 May 2009 15:45:14 GMT

things are good.
i am very busy.

Writer's Block: Places to Lay Your Head

scowlette — Tue, 26 May 2009 21:08:45 GMT

farmington, mi
livonia, mi
baltimore, md
chantilly, va
washington dc
reston, va
london england
ferndale, mi
detroit, mi
lincoln square (chicago)
ukranian village (chicago)
logan square (chicago)

my favorite living situation was probably with sky in reston. i also liked some of the combinations at channing. when shaun, jenny bloomer, and i lived together it was awesome. jeff may have lived there, too, at that point. this was around the time of the 2004 election. i also liked living with kerry davis. we had a couple roommates during that time.

no comment on the worst.

real detroit, thankfully.

scowlette — Sun, 24 May 2009 03:29:25 GMT

LEO - You don’t know if you’re coming or going but at least you have a sense of humor about it. Recent ruptures seem to have healed miraculously by themselves. The element of communication is so strong right now you can’t believe what your partner is finally willing to share with you. You have learned so much about what love is from this, and it’s bringing you deeper in all your relationships. As for those who keep trying to win you back, at this point they don’t even know you. Forget all that — it’s over and done with.

scowlette — Fri, 22 May 2009 05:11:27 GMT

k. cat got stuck in an illegal fox trap and chewed off it's own leg to get out.

scowlette — Thu, 21 May 2009 13:59:01 GMT

I am going to International Mr. Leather with dudes from my church. This is practically a church sanctioned event.