aesthetics of astonishment

Books 2008

sassy — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 21:12:34 GMT

I think I've formatted it correctly, but it's very long. Vaguely grouped by author. The cut tag does not seem to be working, so I apologize for the length.

Have you read...
Any of these?

Margery Allingham - The Crime at Black Dudley
Margery Allingham - Look to the Lady
Margery Allingham - Police at the Funeral
Margery Allingham - Death of a Ghost
Margery Allingham - Sweet Danger
Margery Allingham - Flowers for the Judge
Margery Allingham - The Case of the Late Pig
Margery Allingham - Dancers in Mourning
Margery Allingham - The Fashion in Shrouds
Margery Allingham - The Fear Sign
Isaac Asimov - Foundation's Friends: Stories in Honor of Isaac Asimov
Isaac Asimov - The Best Mysteries of Isaac Asimov
Robert Barnard - Death of a Literary Widow
Robert Barnard - Out of the Blackout
Elizabeth Bear - Blood and Iron
Elizabeth Bear - Hammered
Elizabeth Bear - Scardown
Elizabeth Bear - Worldwired
Elizabeth Bear - Whiskey and Water
Elizabeth Bear - New Amsterdam
Elizabeth Bear - Undertow
Elizabeth Bear - Dust
Elizabeth Bear - Carnival
Elizabeth Bear - Ink and Steel
Elizabeth Bear - Hell and Earth
Patricia Briggs - Moon Called
Patricia Briggs - Blood Bound
Patricia Briggs - Iron Kissed
Patricia Briggs - Cry Wolf
Marion Zimmer Bradley - Black Trillium
Steven Brust - The Book of Jhereg
Steven Brust - Cowboy Feng's Space Bar and Grille
Emma Bull - War for the Oaks
Emma Bull - Bone Dance
Jim Butcher - Grave Peril
Jim Butcher - Summer Knight
Jim Butcher - Death Masks
Jim Butcher - Blood Rites
Jim Butcher - Dead Beat
Jim Butcher - Proven Guilty
Jim Butcher - White Night
Jim Butcher - Storm Front
Jim Butcher - Fool Moon
Octavia E. Butler - Parable of the Talents
Jacqueline Carey - Kushiel's Dart
Jacqueline Carey - Kushiel's Avatar
Jacqueline Carey - Kushiel's Chosen
Jacqueline Carey - Kushiel's Scion
Jacqueline Carey Carey, Jacqueline Kushiel's Justice
John Dickson Carr - He Who Whispers
John Dickson Carr - Papa La-Bas
Edmund Crispin - Beware of the Trains
Edmund Crispin - The Moving Toyshop
Edmund Crispin - Frequent Hearses
Edmund Crispin - Fen Country
Edmund Crispin - The Long Divorce
Edmund Crispin - Love Lies Bleeding
Lillian de La Torre - Dr. Sam Johnson: Detector
Charles de Lint - The Little Country
Charles de Lint - Tapping the Dream Tree
Charles de Lint - Angel of Darkness
Charles de Lint - Spirits in the Wires
Charles de Lint - The Blue Girl
Charles de Lint - Widdershins
Charles de Lint - Waifs and Strays
Charles de Lint - Jack of Kinrowan
Charles de Lint - Mulengro
Charles de Lint - Dreams Underfoot
Charles de Lint - Someplace to Be Flying
Charles de Lint - The Ivory and the Horn
Charles de Lint - I'll Be Watching You
Charles de Lint - From a Whisper to a Scream
Charles de Lint - Memory and Dream
Charles de Lint - Trader
Charles de Lint - Moonheart
Charles de Lint - Moonlight & Vines
Charles de Lint - The Dreaming Place
Charles de Lint - Forests of the Heart
Charles de Lint - The Wild Wood
Charles de Lint - The Onion Girl
Pamela Dean - Tam Lin
Cory Doctorow - Little Brother
Dave Freer - A Mankind Witch
Neil Gaiman - The Sandman: Book of Dreams
Neil Gaiman - American Gods
Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett - Good Omens
Erle Stanley Gardner - The Case of the Crooked Candle
Erle Stanley - The Case of the Blonde Bonanza
Robert Goldsborough - Fade to Black
Robert Goldsborough - The Last Coincidence
Robert Goldsborough - The Bloodied Ivy
Robert Goldsborough - Murder in E Minor
Robert Goldsborough - Death on Deadline
Simon R. Green - Something from the Nightside
Simon R. Green - The Unnatural Inquirer
Simon R. Green - The Man With the Golden Torc
Simon R. Green - Agents of Light and Darkness
Simon R. Green - Hell to Pay
Simon R. Green - Sharper Than a Serpent's Tooth
Simon R. Green - Hex and the City
Simon R. Green - Paths Not Taken
Hugh Greene - The Further Rivals of Sherlock Holmes
Laurell K. Hamilton - The Harlequin
Laurell K. Hamilton - Mistral's Kiss
Laurell K. Hamilton - A Lick of Frost
Charlaine Harris - All Together Dead
Tony Hillerman - Skeleton Man
Tony Hillerman - The Shape Shifter
Tony Hillerman - Sacred Clowns
Tony Hillerman - A Thief of Time
Tony Hillerman - Talking God
Tony Hillerman - The Dark Wind
Tony Hillerman - Leaphorn, Chee, and More
Tony Hillerman- The Wailing Wind
Tony Hillerman - People of Darkness
Tony Hillerman - Listening Woman
Tony Hillerman - The Ghostway
Tony Hillerman - Dance Hall of the Dead
Tony Hillerman - The Blessing Way
Tony Hillerman - Skinwalkers
Tony Hillerman - The Sinister Pig
Tony Hillerman - Coyote Waits
Tony Hillerman - The Fallen Man
Tony Hillerman - The First Eagle
Tony Hillerman - Hunting Badger
Tanya Huff - Blood Lines
Tanya Huff - Blood Pact
Tanya Huff - Blood Debt
Tanya Huff - Blood Price
Tanya Huff - Blood Trail
Francis Iles - Malice Aforethought
Francis Iles - Before the Fact
Michael Innes - The Gay Phoenix
Michael Innes - The Case of the Journeying Boy
Michael Innes - Hamlet, Revenge!
Michael Innes - The Weight of the Evidence
Michael Innes - Death On A Quiet Day
Michael Innes - The Long Farewell
Michael Innes - Hare Sitting Up
Michael Innes - Death By Water
Guy Gavriel Kay - The Wandering Fire
Guy Gavriel Kay - The Darkest Road
Guy Gavriel Kay - The Summer Tree
Harry Kemelman - Thursday the Rabbi Walked Out
Harry Kemelman - Conversations with Rabbi Small
Harry Kemelman - Sunday the Rabbi Stayed Home
Katharine Kerr - Days of Blood and Fire
Katharine Kerr - The Black Raven
Katharine Kerr - The Fire Dragon
Katharine Kerr - Days of Air and Darkness
Katharine Kerr - The Red Wyvern
Katharine Kerr - The Gold Falcon
Katharine Kerr - Daggerspell
Katharine Kerr - The Spirit Stone
Katharine Kerr - Darkspell
Katharine Kerr - The Dragon Revenant
Katharine Kerr - A Time of Exile
Katharine Kerr - A Time of Omens
Katharine Kerr - The Bristling Wood
Laurie R. King - To Play the Fool
Laurie R. King - A Grave Talent
Laurie R. King - The Art of Detection
Laurie R. King - Night Work
Stephen King - Black House
Mercedes Lackey - Bedlam's Edge
Mercedes Lackey - This Rough Magic
Mercedes Lackey - Beyond World's End
Mercedes Lackey - Bedlam's Bard
Mercedes Lackey - Reserved for the Cat
Mercedes Lackey - Spirits White as Lightning
Mercedes Lackey - By Slanderous Tongues
Mercedes Lackey - Mad Maudlin
Mercedes Lackey - Ill Met by Moonlight
Mercedes Lackey - Music to My Sorrow
Mercedes Lackey - And Less Than Kind
Mercedes Lackey - The Shadow Of The Lion
Stephen R. Lawhead - Taliesin
Dennis Lehane - A Drink Before The War
Morgan Llywelyn - The Horse Goddess
Morgan Llywelyn - The Wind From Hastings
Morgan Llywelyn - Silverhand
Morgan Llywelyn - Etruscans : Beloved of the Gods
Morgan Llywelyn - Red Branch
Morgan Llywelyn - Finn Mac Cool
Morgan Llywelyn - Bard: The Odyssey of the Irish
Morgan LLywelyn - Lion of Ireland
Morgan Llywelyn - Druids
A.E.W. Mason - The Prisoner in the Opal
A.E.W. Mason - The House of the Arrow
A.E.W. Mason - The House in Lordship Lane
Val McDermid - A Place of Execution
Val McDermid - The Torment of Others
Val McDermid - The Mermaids Singing
Val McDermid - The Grave Tattoo
Val McDermid - The Wire in the Blood
Val McDermid - The Last Temptation
Val McDermid - Killing the Shadows
China Mieville - Perdido Street Station
Margaret Millar - Fire Will Freeze
Margaret Millar - The Fiend
Sarah Monette - A Companion to Wolves
Sarah Monette - The Virtu
Sarah Monette - Melusine
Michael Moorcock - Elric: The Sleeping Sorceress
Michael Moorcock - The Bane of the Black Sword
Michael Moorcock - The Dreamthief's Daughter
Michael Moorcock - Elric: The Stealer of Souls
Michael Moorcock - The City in the Autumn Stars
Michael Moorcock - The Metatemporal Detective
Patricia Moyes - Murder Fantastical
Patricia Moyes - Death On The Agenda
Marcia Muller - Ask the Cards a Question
Marcia Muller - The Cheshire Cat's Eye
Carol Anne O'Marie - A Novena for Murder
Carol Anne O'Marie - Advent of Dying
P. D. James - Shroud for a Nightingale
P. D. James - Devices and Desires
Diana L. Paxson - Ravens of Avalon
Mervyn Peake - Titus Groan
Ellis Peters - Flight of a Witch
Ellis Peters - A Rare Benedictine
Ellery Queen - The Dragon's Teeth
Ellery Queen - Ten Days Wonder
Ellery Queen - The Dutch Shoe Mystery
Ellery Queen - The Door Between
Ellery Queen - The Devil to Pay
Ellery Queen - Calamity Town
Ellery Queen - The Scarlet Letters
Ellery Queen - The Glass Village
Ellery Queen - Queen's Full
Ellery Queen - The King is Dead
J. K. Rowling - Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
J. K. Rowling - Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
J. K. Rowling - Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
J. K. Rowling - Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Rex Stout - The League of Frightened Men
Rex Stout - A Right to Die
Rex Stout - Where There's a Will
Rex Stout - Black Orchids (and) Cordially Invited to Meet Death
Rex Stout - Might As Well Be Dead
Rex Stout - The Red Box
Rex Stout - Trio For Blunt Instruments
Rex Stout - Three Doors To Death
Rex Stout - Trouble in Triplicate
Rex Stout - The Rubber Band
Rex Stout - Three Men Out
Rex Stout - Too Many Cooks
Rex Stout - Champagne for One
Rex Stout - The Doorbell Rang
Rex Stout - Murder By the Book
Rex Stout - Not Quite Dead Enough
Rex Stout - Fer-de-Lance
Rex Stout - The Silent Speaker
Rex Stout - The Final Deduction
Rex Stout - Curtains for Three
Rex Stout - The Second Confession
Rex Stout - Death of a Dude
Rex Stout - Some Buried Caeser
Rex Stout - The Mother Hunt
Rex Stout - If Death Ever Slept
Rex Stout - Three Witnesses
Rex Stout - The Father Hunt
Rex Stout - The Black Mountain
Rex Stout - Death of a Doxy
Rex Stout - Plot It Yourself
Rex Stout - And Be A Villian
Rex Stout - Too Many Clients
Rex Stout - Please Pass the Guilt
Rex Stout - Prisoner's Base
Rex Stout - And Four to Go
Rex Stout - Three for the Chair
Rex Stout - Death Times Three
Rex Stout - A Family Affair
Rex Stout - Over My Dead Body
Rex Stout - In the Best Families
Rex Stout - The Golden Spiders
Rex Stout - Three at Wolfe's Door
Rex Stout - Gambit
Charles Stross - The Family Trade
Charles Stross - The Hidden Family
Charles Stross - The Clan Corporate
Charles Stross - The Merchants' War
Charles Stross - Accelerando
Josephine Tey - The Man in the Queue
Josephine Tey - A Shilling for Candles
Josephine Tey - To Love and Be Wise
Margaret Truman - Murder on Embassy Row
S. S. Van Dine - The Winter Murder Case
Jo Walton - Farthing
Jo Walton - Ha'penny
Chelsea Quinn Yarbro - Saint-Germain Memoirs
Chelsea Quinn Yarbro - Roman Dusk
Chelsea Quinn Yarbro - Borne in Blood
Chelsea Quinn Yarbro

Doing My Part

sassy — Tue, 16 Dec 2003 19:32:35 GMT

from tibstanglewood

So the American Family Association is having a poll on Gay Marriage. Given their membership the results are all too predictable.

But not now. Go take the poll: http://www.afa.net/petitions/marriagepoll.asp

bigoted assholes

Then pass this message on.

In other news, I bet if enough people who do this meme use the words bigoted assholes in their posts it'll cause a googlebomb on AFA.

Edited to add clarified googlebomb instructions

To up the chances of swaying Google's search algorithm, it's widely believed you have to do the following:

1) You have to make the words a link to AFA like I did. Like so:

[a href="http://www.afa.net"]bigoted assholes[/a] but replace the [ characters with < characters

2) You may have to change your LJ user options. One of your user options (under Manage:Info) is to tell indexing spiders such as Google uses to go away. Google respects that command (not all search engines do), so if that's checked off for you the googlebomb attempt won't count. You can still pass it on, though.

3) Obviously, any post has to be public -- Google can't read your page even if you've given it permission if the post is friends-only.

4) You've gotta get your friends to do the same thing -- you can cut and past these instructions if you'd like. It turns out that "bigoted assholes" is a pretty common epithet for fundies, so to get Google to refer to the AFA rather than a site ranting about them it's gonna take tons of links.

3/24/03

sassy — Sun, 23 Mar 2003 22:00:55 GMT

Traditional Feast day of Archangel Gabriel

A day of orderliness. It was commemorated for centuries on this day, the day before the Annunciation (which remembers the day Mary conceived Jesus), but has been transferred by the Catholic Church to September 29, which Gabriel now shares with fellow archangel, St Michael.

Archangel Gabiel is the patron saint of communications (chiefly because of the messages he delivered for God – the word ‘angel’ means ‘messenger’), and the Internet you are now using.

The official Catholic site writes:
"’Fortitudo Dei’, one of the three archangels mentioned in the Bible. Only four appearances of Gabriel are recorded:
In Dan., viii, he explains the vision of the horned ram as portending the destruction of the Persian Empire by the Macedonian Alexander the Great, after whose death the kingdom will be divided up among his generals, from one of whom will spring Antiochus Epiphanes.
In chapter ix, after Daniel had prayed for Israel, we read that "the man Gabriel . . . . flying swiftly touched me" and he communicated to him the mysterious prophecy of the "seventy weeks" of years which should elapse before the coming of Christ. In chapter x, it is not clear whether the angel is Gabriel or not, but at any rate we may apply to him the marvellous description in verses 5 and 6.
In N.T. he foretells to Zachary the birth of the Precursor, and to Mary that of the Saviour.

Gabriel, or Jibril, is an important angel in the Muslim, as well as the Jewish and Christian faiths.
We are reminded of that modest Jewish girl Mariam (Mary), whose life was completely changed by the message which the Angel Gabriel, did bring to her, being that she would give birth to a son who would be called Essa (Jesus).
- Angels and Jinns, Celestial Beings (Muslim article)

Getting somewhere...

sassy — Fri, 21 Mar 2003 21:03:15 GMT

I am making progress, although it's in things so small most people would not consider them :/ I have done the laundry, a chore of epic proportions. I wish I didn't always put it off until it was this bad, but I have somehow failed to learn the lesson. I also took out all the recycling, which makes me feel virtuous :D I cooked dinner, rather than having something delivered. These are small but important things.

Yesterday I went down to North Beach. I wanted to be there and miss Rich and get used to that feeling. It wasn't too bad. I did a little shopping, had some coffee and visited our fish pond.

There's a pond in North Beach that's right by where I used to live. Nearby also is the big Catholic church (where Marilyn Monroe and Joe Dimaggio had photos taken, although they were not really married there.) Every year they have a big festa for Columbus Day. As is usual, there are games where one can win a goldfish. As these are what I have always called "disposable", many people don't even want to take them home. Over the years, a number have been left at the pond. Other fish owners have made contributions as well. After the earthquake, they had to drain the pond to do some repairs. All well and good, but when they refilled it the fish were not returned. I called the parks department, and found that they had been turned over to the aquarium. Like they needed more fish! So, I made some more calls... and found out who was in charge. I pointed out that the fish belonged to people in the neighborhood, and they had no business keeping them. I spoke to several people... with my best "perhaps you don't know to whom you are speaking" attitude (my uncle was a big shot in the parks department, so my name had some pull - all about the connections.) In the end, they brought back our fish :) Both Rich and I were very protective of them after that, since it was obvious those parks people could not be trusted ;) Now it's up to me, and so I went. Some of the goldfish are getting quite large... a bittersweet moment.

Yay!

sassy — Fri, 14 Mar 2003 19:41:07 GMT

Penguin frenzy over

One more reason...

sassy — Tue, 25 Feb 2003 12:27:54 GMT

I am going to hell.
Message from the Pope

sassy — Wed, 19 Feb 2003 10:42:57 GMT

Top 20 ways you know if you are addicted to the Internet

1. You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com

2. You turn off your modem and get this empty feeling, like you just pulled the pin on a loved one.

3. You start introducing yourself as "Jon at AOL dot com"

4. Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.

5. All of your friends have an @ in their names.

6. You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.

7. Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.

8. You laugh at people with 14,400 baud modems.

9. You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.

10. You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

11. You tell the cab driver you live at http://75.luck.street/house/bluetrim.html

12. Your spouse makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."

13. You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a commode.

14. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :^)

15. You turn on your computer and turn off your spouse.

16. Your best friend is someone you've never met.

17. Your spouse says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so you can chat.

18. You begin to wonder how on earth your service provider is allowed to call 200 hours per month "unlimited."

19. Your dog has its own home page.

20. So does your goldfish

Again for Tig

sassy — Tue, 18 Feb 2003 20:44:33 GMT

PinZilla

Damn!

sassy — Mon, 10 Feb 2003 17:14:40 GMT

I am all out of sync. I was feeling positive, and happy I got my hair cut on Friday. Nice to feel neat again... I was feeling shabby. Did some needed shopping, and got a gift for my nephew.

But I realized I was caught - the nephew party was on Saturday. The Kyla party was on Saturday. I could not do both. That, in and of itself, is not a problem. The problem is - if I had thought a little farther in advance, I could have made a way to see Kyla while she was here. I am somehow unable to catch up with myself, and I don't know why that is. It's not like I don't have plenty of time... it's like my brains are not working for me.

Kyla, I am so sorry!

sassy — Fri, 07 Feb 2003 18:35:55 GMT

OMFG!!!

Hi Tigg!

sassy — Fri, 07 Feb 2003 16:51:34 GMT

Penguin Cam :)

sassy — Tue, 28 Jan 2003 18:45:18 GMT

Survey - blah, blah, blah...

1. LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATER? Woman On The Run

2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Along with rereading Nero Wolfe, I've been reading Something More by Sarah Ban Breathnach. Interesting things to think about, although a bit too female-centered for my taste

3. FAVORITE BOARD GAME? I can't recall when I last played a board game, but I always liked Monopoly

4. FAVORITE MAGAZINE(S)? None I will commit to

5. FAVORITE SMELL? fresh bread

6. COMFORT FOOD? toast and tea

7. FAVORITE SOUNDS? blues guitar, fog horns, wind

8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? feeling unimportant

9. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? What time is it?

10. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE? Jack in the Box

11. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME? No children

12. FINISH THIS STATEMENT, "IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY I WOULD...? Relax, travel, help some people I care about, go shopping

14. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? Sometimes

15. STORMS - COOL OR SCARY? Very cool

16. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? I've never owned a car

17. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? Coffee Royale

18. FINISH THIS STATEMENT: "IF I HAD ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD, I WOULD LOVE TO....Not make any plans and do whatever seems good at the moment

19. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? Yes

20. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD YOU DYE IT? I already do - cover the grey with Irish Setter red

21. GLASS: HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? The wrong size

22. HOW MANY DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS HAVE YOU LIVED IN? Hm - in California: San Francisco, Colma, Hayward, Livermore, Dublin, Pleasanton, Berkeley, Oakland - and very briefly in Limerick, Ireland

23. FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX? Home

24. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? Live, baseball - on TV, football

25. SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? I can't remember who I took this from

26. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED? Dust bison, clothes, naughty secrets

27. TOILET PAPER/PAPER TOWEL-OVER OR UNDER? Over, as it should be

sassy — Tue, 28 Jan 2003 14:24:07 GMT

Movie survey

First Movie you ever saw in the theater: The first one I remember is Mary Poppins

Fav movie as a kid: Wizard of Oz

Movie you have seen the most times: The Godfather

Biggest Movie Star crush as a kid: Sean Connery

Fav 80's teen Movie: I don't know if I've seen any

Fav song from a movie: "Halleluiah" from Shrek

Fav Romance Movie: LadyHawk

Fav Horror Movie: I don't watch horror

Fav Drama: Today it's Lady from Shanghai

Fav Sci Fi movie: Fifth Element

Fav Musical Movie: Singing In the Rain

Fav Comedy Movie: Fish Called Wanda

Fav Action Movie: All Jackie Chan all the time :)

Movie that scared you as a child: Bambi

Movie that makes you cry every time you see it: What Dreams May Come

Worst movie you ever saw: something by Fellini

Movie you walked out on in the theater cause it was so bad: Scream

Most sexual movie you ever saw (NON PORN): Nine and Half Weeks

Most Disturbing movie you ever saw: Warhol's Dracula

Movie that supposedly sucks but you love it: The Doors

Fav Actors: Liam Neeson, Peter O'Toole, Robin Williams

Fav Actresses: Lauren Bacall, Jamie Lee Curtis, Sigourney Weaver

Fav Porn Star: Who looks at names?

Fav sex scene from a movie (NON PORN): Jamie Lee Curtis dancing in True Lies

Movie you wanted to see the most as a child but were not allowed to: Don't remember any

Sexiest movie star of all time MALE: Orson Welles

Sexiest movie star of all time FEMALE: Lauren Bacall

Movie that could/might as well been written about your life: Don't have one

Fave Villain in a movie: Kasper Gutman (Sidney Greenstreet) in the Maltese Falcon

Last movie you saw on TV/rented?: I don't remember

Last movie you saw in theater: Woman on the Run

Yay!

sassy — Tue, 28 Jan 2003 09:29:19 GMT

More mail...
Yesterday I got a lovely postcard from _sophie (and the kids!) She sent me 70's Elvis - the one I remember best. Thanks so much... he goes in a place of honor.

Also - a suprise from villager, After the postcard I mentioned the other day, I wasn't expecting anything more... just as he planned, no doubt. I now have a lucky Irish four-leaf cover (made in China). Luck in a thing I can always use. Thanks, Rue :)

How to drink like the Scots!

sassy — Mon, 27 Jan 2003 14:32:53 GMT

http://haggishunt.com/haggisclopedia.cfm [part 7]

When stalking the heather, our chief ghillie, Farquhar Farquharson is always careful to stock up on warming drinks "to keep the cold out". While other more timid souls rely on hot beverages and - pah! - soups, Mr Farquharson swears by an assortment of home-made tinctures without which he never leaves the house, even to go to the shops. Of course, he gets hypothermia every time he sets foot outside the house, but he says it doesn't really bother him anymore.

The editors of haggishunt.com have persuaded Mr Farquharson to share some of his recipes with our readers. He was quite happy to do this after five days locked in the coal shed with only distilled water for comfort.

WARNING These are alcoholic beverages and as such should be treated with respect. If you are under 18, you should not drink them. By the way, drinking does not make you funny, tough or attractive to the opposite sex (or the same sex for that matter). It makes you fall over and throw up. If you are over 18, remember that drinking makes you loud, boorish and utterly repellent to potential sexual partners.

Whisky with haggis chaser
Ingredients
Large bottle of malt whisky
A Haggis
A glass
A very very small amount of water (dinnae droon it laddie)
Method
Place generous amount of whisky in glass. Wave water over whisky. Drink whisky. Cook haggis the following morning and serve on toast with brown sauce as an excellent hangover cure.

Bloody haggis
Ingredients
Large bottle of malt whisky
A glass
A very very small jug of water
Tomato juice
Worcester sauce
Stick of celery
Bottle of vodka
Method
Place generous amount of whisky in glass. Wave water quickly over whisky. Reserve tomato juice for the next time you cook linguine. Place celery in bunnet. Dab Worcester sauce behind ears. You are now ready for a night on the town. Put vodka somewhere that local teenagers will be unable to find it. Drink whisky. Cook haggis the following morning and serve on toast with brown sauce as an excellent hangover cure.

Haggis sunrise
Ingredients
Large bottle of malt whisky
A large carton of orange juice
A Haggis
A glass
A very very small jug of water
Method
Dash eight sloshes of whisky into glass. Show water to whisky from minimum distance of ten yards. Carefully put carton of orange juice unopened in fridge lest it go off. Drink whisky. Cook haggis the following morning and serve on toast with brown sauce as an excellent hangover cure.

Sloe comfortable haggis against the wall
Ingredients
Large bottle of malt whisky
A large carton of orange juice
A Haggis
A glass
A very very small jug of water
A random selection of those lesser liquors in garish bottles so beloved by dull people seeking glamour
Method
Half-fill glass with whisky, then add more whisky. Sotto voce mention existence of water to whisky. Pour other spirits into the nearest pot plant. Give juice to tee totaller. Drink whisky. Cook haggis the following morning and serve on toast with brown sauce as an excellent hangover cure.

Haggis on the beach
Ingredients
Large bottle of malt whisky
A haggis
A very very small jug of water
Bag of sand
Method
Pour sand on ground. Pour water on ground. Strip down to your underwear. You are now at the beach. Use haggis as a beachball. Drink whisky from the bottle.

Russian Haggis
Ingredients
Large bottle of malt whisky
A haggis
A glass
A very very small jug of water
Bottle of vodka
Coffee liqueur
Cream
Method
Hold bottle of whisky vertically over glass for several seconds. Place jug of water in next room. Carefully position liqueur in cupboard beside tea bags - if you want ******* coffee, you'll drink ******* coffee. Place vodka unopened in freezer - it'll feel at home there. Drink whisky. Cook haggis the following morning and serve on toast with brown sauce as an excellent hangover cure. Drizzle cream round plate for dead classy presentation.

Haggis margarita
Ingredients
Large bottle of malt whisky
A Haggis
A lime
Lime juice
Bottle of tequila
Salt
A glass
Another glass
Small jug of water.
Method
Wet rim of glass and dip in salt. Cut lime into slices and attach to rim of glass. Wet bottom of glass with lime juice. Fill glass to rim with tequila. Drop lit match into glass. Now you have made a nice home-made heater, sit down beside it, rest your feet on the haggis and enjoy a wee dram.

sassy — Sat, 25 Jan 2003 09:59:29 GMT

Which member of the A-Team are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I love it when a plan comes together :)

sassy — Thu, 23 Jan 2003 09:46:56 GMT

IMMEDIATE ATTENTION NEEDED :
HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL

FROM: GEORGE WALKER BUSH
202.456.1414 / 202.456.1111
FAX: 202.456.2461

DEAR SIR / MADAM,

I AM GEORGE WALKER BUSH, SON OF THE FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA GEORGE HERBERT WALKER BUSH, AND CURRENTLY SERVING AS PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. THIS LETTER MIGHT SURPRISE YOU BECAUSE WE HAVE NOT MET NEITHER IN PERSON NOR BY CORRESPONDENCE. I CAME TO KNOW OF YOU IN MY SEARCH FOR A RELIABLE AND REPUTABLE PERSON TO HANDLE A VERY CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION, WHICH INVOLVES THE TRANSFER OF A HUGE SUM OF MONEY TO AN ACCOUNT REQUIRING MAXIMUM
CONFIDENCE.

I AM WRITING YOU IN ABSOLUTE CONFIDENCE PRIMARILY TO SEEK YOUR
ASSISTANCE IN ACQUIRING OIL FUNDS THAT ARE PRESENTLY TRAPPED IN THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ. MY PARTNERS AND I SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE IN
COMPLETING A TRANSACTION BEGUN BY MY FATHER, WHO HAS LONG BEEN ACTIVELY ENGAGED IN THE EXTRACTION OF PETROLEUM IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND BRAVELY SERVED HIS COUNTRY AS DIRECTOR OF THE UNITED STATES CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY.

IN THE DECADE OF THE NINETEEN-EIGHTIES, MY FATHER, THEN VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, SOUGHT TO WORK WITH THE GOOD OFFICES OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ TO REGAIN LOST OIL REVENUE SOURCES IN THE NEIGHBORING ISLAMIC REPUBLIC OF IRAN. THIS UNSUCCESSFUL VENTURE WAS SOON FOLLOWED BY A FALLING-OUT WITH HIS IRAQI PARTNER, WHO SOUGHT TO ACQUIRE ADDITIONAL OIL REVENUE SOURCES IN THE NEIGHBORING EMIRATE OF
KUWAIT, A WHOLLY-OWNED U.S.-BRITISH SUBSIDIARY.

MY FATHER RE-SECURED THE PETROLEUM ASSETS OF KUWAIT IN 1991 AT A COST OF SIXTY-ONE BILLION U.S. DOLLARS ($61,000,000,000). OUT OF THAT COST, THIRTY-SIX BILLION DOLLARS ($36,000,000,000) WERE SUPPLIED BY HIS
PARTNERS IN THE KINGDOM OF SAUDI ARABIA AND OTHER PERSIAN GULF
MONARCHIES, AND SIXTEEN BILLION DOLLARS ($16,000,000,000) BY GERMAN AND JAPANESE PARTNERS. BUT MY FATHER'S FORMER IRAQI BUSINESS PARTNER REMAINED IN CONTROL OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ AND ITS PETROLEUM RESERVES.

MY FAMILY IS CALLING FOR YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE IN FUNDING THE REMOVAL OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ AND ACQUIRING THE PETROLEUM ASSETS OF HIS COUNTRY, AS COMPENSATION FOR THE COSTS OF REMOVING HIM FROM POWER. UNFORTUNATELY, OUR PARTNERS FROM 1991 ARE NOT WILLING TO SHOULDER THE BURDEN OF THIS NEW VENTURE, WHICH IN ITS UPCOMING PHASE MAY COST THE SUM OF 100 BILLION TO 200 BILLION DOLLARS ($100,000,000,000 -$200,000,000,000), BOTH IN THE INITIAL ACQUISITION AND IN LONG-TERM MANAGEMENT.

WITHOUT THE FUNDS FROM OUR 1991 PARTNERS, WE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO ACQUIRE THE OIL REVENUE TRAPPED WITHIN IRAQ. THAT IS WHY MY FAMILY AND OUR COLLEAGUES ARE URGENTLY SEEKING YOUR GRACIOUS ASSISTANCE. OUR DISTINGUISHED COLLEAGUES IN THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION INCLUDE THE SITTING VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, RICHARD CHENEY, WHO IS AN ORIGINAL PARTNER IN THE IRAQ VENTURE AND FORMER HEAD OF THE HALLIBURTON OIL COMPANY, AND CONDOLEEZA RICE, WHOSE PROFESSIONAL DEDICATION TO THE VENTURE WAS DEMONSTRATED IN THE NAMING OF A CHEVRON OIL TANKER AFTER HER.

I WOULD BESEECH YOU TO TRANSFER A SUM EQUALING TEN TO TWENTY-FIVE PERCENT (10-25 %) OF YOUR YEARLY INCOME TO OUR ACCOUNT TO AID IN THIS IMPORTANT VENTURE. THE INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WILL FUNCTION AS OUR TRUSTED INTERMEDIARY. I PROPOSE THAT YOU MAKE THIS TRANSFER BEFORE THE FIFTEENTH (15TH) OF THE MONTH OF APRIL.

I KNOW THAT A TRANSACTION OF THIS MAGNITUDE WOULD MAKE ANYONE
APPREHENSIVE AND WORRIED. BUT I AM ASSURING YOU THAT ALL WILL BE WELL AT THE END OF THE DAY. A BOLD STEP TAKEN SHALL NOT BE REGRETTED, I ASSURE YOU. PLEASE DO BE INFORMED THAT THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION IS 100% LEGAL. IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO CO-OPERATE IN THIS TRANSACTION, PLEASE CONTACT OUR INTERMEDIARY REPRESENTATIVES TO FURTHER DISCUSS THE MATTER.

I PRAY THAT YOU UNDERSTAND OUR PLIGHT. MY FAMILY AND OUR COLLEAGUES WILL BE FOREVER GRATEFUL. PLEASE REPLY IN STRICT CONFIDENCE TO THE CONTACT NUMBERS BELOW.

SINCERELY WITH WARM REGARDS,

GEORGE WALKER BUSH

Switchboard: 202.456.1414
Comments: 202.456.1111
Fax: 202.456.2461
Email: president@whitehouse.gov

Senses..,

sassy — Wed, 22 Jan 2003 15:40:34 GMT

Thanks piratelady

Scents to smell
Rain
Cinnamon
Eucalyptus

Flavours to taste
Lemon
Coffee
Chocolate

Textures to touch
puppy fur
tree bark
silk

Sights to see
Alpenglow
children playing
the ocean

Sounds to hear
guitar
rain
laughter

Music Survey

sassy — Wed, 22 Jan 2003 15:33:49 GMT

Ten Bands I Like, with Three Songs from Each

Velvet Underground
All Tomorrows Parties
Pale Blue Eyes
Venus In Furs

John Hiatt
Perfectly Good Guitar
Slow Turning
Riding With The King

Little Village
Big Love
She Runs Hot
Solar Sex Panel

Robbie Robertson
Take Your Partner By The Hand
What About Now
It Is A Good Day To Die

Allman Brothers
Jessica
Ain't Wasting Time
Crazy Love

Bob Dylan
Positively Fourth Street
My Back Pages
Lily, Rosemary and the Jack of Hearts

Sammy Hagar
Young Girl Blues
Reckless
Turn Up The Music

Bruce Springsteen
Red Headed Woman
If I Should Fall Behind
Thunder Road

Chris Isaak
Blue Hotel
San Francisco Days
Wrong To Love You

Eagles
Get Over It
Desperado
Already Gone

snicker

sassy — Tue, 21 Jan 2003 10:58:30 GMT

Single person's guide to food

~*~ BREAD: Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable "spots" that should be seen on the surface of any loaf of bread. Fuzzy and hairy looking white or green growth areas are good indications that your bread has turned into a pharmaceutical laboratory experiment.

~*~ CANNED GOODS: Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a
softball should be disposed of. Carefully.

~*~ CARROTS: A carrot that you can tie a clove hitch in is not fresh.

~*~ CEREAL: It is generally a good rule of thumb that cereal should be discarded when it is two years or longer beyond the expiration date.

~*~ CHIP DIP: If you can take it out of its container and bounce it on the floor, it has gone bad.

~*~ DAIRY PRODUCTS: Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt. Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese. Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway and can't get any more spoiled than it is already. Cheddar cheese is spoiled when you think it is bleu cheese but you realize you've never purchased that kind.

~*~ EGGS: When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is probably past its prime.

~*~ EMPTY CONTAINERS: Putting empty containers back into the refrigerator is an old trick, but it only works if you live with someone or have a maid.

~*~ EXPIRATION DATES: This is NOT a marketing ploy to encourage you to throw away perfectly good food so that you'll spend more on groceries. Perhaps you'd benefit by having a calendar in your kitchen.

~*~ FLOUR: Flour is spoiled when it wiggles.

~*~ FROZEN FOODS: Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the defrosting problem in your freezer compartment will probably be spoiled (or wrecked anyway) by the time you pry them out with a kitchen knife.

~*~ GAG TEST: Anything that makes you gag is spoiled (except for leftovers from what you cooked for yourself last night).

~*~ LETTUCE: Iceberg lettuce is spoiled when you can't get it off the bottom of the vegetable crisper without sandpaper. Romaine lettuce is spoiled when it turns liquid.

~*~ MAYONNAISE: If it makes you violently ill after you eat it, the mayonnaise is spoiled.

~*~ MEAT: If opening the refrigerator door causes all stray animals within a three-block radius to congregate outside your house, the meat is spoiled.

~*~ POTATOES: Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth.

~*~ RAISINS: Raisins should not be harder than your teeth.

~*~ SALT: It never spoils.

~*~ UNMARKED ITEMS: You know it is well beyond prime when you're tempted to discard the Tupperware along with the food. Generally speaking, Tupperware containers should not burp when you open them.

~*~ GENERAL RULE OF THUMB: Most food cannot be kept longer than the average
life span of a hamster. Keep a hamster in or near your refrigerator to gauge this.

Three survey

sassy — Fri, 17 Jan 2003 18:41:27 GMT

1.What facial feature do you find the most attractive on others? Eyes and hair
2.What is your most attractive feature? Eyes
3. When was the last time you had a hickey? Sometime in college
4. Do you speak a foreign language? No
5) How many phones do you have in your house? Two land-line and one cell
6) What did you want to be when you grew up? A newspaper writer
7) How many keys on your keyring? Five
8) What colour is your bedroom? Apartment white
9) If you could live in a past era, what would it be? 60s
10) Do you have Nightmares? Rarely
11) Do you remember them? Sometimes
12) Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? Sometimes
13) If yes what is it? I have a large selection
14) What is your favourite fruit? Tangerines
15) Person you talk most to on the phone? Sal
16) What is your favorite place to be? Home
17) What is the last movie you saw? I don't remember
18) How many Siblings do you have? Three brothers, two sisters - all younger
19) Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? Emotional
20) Do you have anything that glows in the dark? Yes - my computer angel
21) Have you been to the ballet? Yes, but not since I was a child
22) Do you like the opera? I like listening, but don't know that I would care to go
23) Do you ask for directions if you get lost? Yes, but I rarely get lost
24) Have you ever been Skinny dipping? No
25) Do you wind spaghetti around the fork to eat it? Yes
26) Do you believe in magic? Yes
27) Do you collect anything? Books
28) Do you sleep walk? No
29) Can you juggle? No
30) How many foreign countries have you visited? Ireland, England, Holland, Japan

Save yourself!

sassy — Fri, 17 Jan 2003 11:01:15 GMT

Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie

sassy — Fri, 17 Jan 2003 10:16:52 GMT

My Dirty Little Secret
(© Linda Sharp)

They say that confession is good for the soul, so here goes. I am having an affair. It has been an ongoing thing for the past ten years. When it started, it was maybe once or twice a week, depending on my needs and time available. As the years progressed though, our encounters have increased in frequency, to where it is almost a daily thing, sometimes up to five rounds a day. I'm a good, decent person, but this affair now borders on the obsessive. It is a cycle I cannot break. Hot, cold, hot, cold and just when I think I can stop, I am pulled back by a primal urge I am helpless to rinse from my soul. I believe my husband may suspect something, but his silence almost echoes approval. And so, I greet each day with the knowledge that the affair shall continue, must continue, until the day my family learns my dirty little secret and . . . how to use the washing machine themselves.

If there is one chore that takes more than its fair share of my time, it has to be laundry. With three children and a husband, I find myself staring down the stinky end of a clothes hamper daily. You notice I do not include myself in the clothing count. As a mother, I tend to rewear my apparel a lot. If it has weathered the previous day with only a smudge of peanut butter and a couple splashes of hot chocolate, there's a pretty good chance I'll don it the next day. I do however draw the line at clothing I happen to be wearing when my children have a cold. What is it about a mom that turns her into a walking Kleenex? There have been winters I look like a runway model for Oscar de la Booger.

The quantities are as astounding as they are frustrating. When you multiply each day by three children and two adults, it adds up quickly. However, children tend to have a strange notion of what constitutes dirty. If they have rummaged through their drawers in search of a certain something, everything that has been thrown on the floor is now soiled. If it falls off a hanger in their closet? Filth. Pure, unadulterated filth. And if they have been instructed to don something they would rather not? "Mooo-ooom, I can't wear it! It's in the dirty clothes basket! Sorry!" Funny, if something they really like is dirt encrusted and under a pile of stanky underwear, they will dig it out and act like it is fresh from the Martinizers!

I have long suspected my husband thinks his dirty clothes are capable of movement. Regardless of where the hamper is placed, his dirty items are always found on top of it, in front of it, or hanging from a doorknob. Perhaps his mother once said something like, "Your socks are so filthy, they could walk to the machine by themselves.", and he believed her. Why not? The next time he looked they were gone and had reappeared magically clean and Downy Fresh in his drawer. I have news for him. David Copperfield does not walk in the house while he is at work and wave some magic wand that obliterates skidmarks and ring around the collar. Believe me, there is nothing magical about having to turn a pair of balled up work socks right side out. I would rather stick my hand in a septic tank.

The workload has increased since moving into our new house for we are the proud owners of a laundry chute! The children think it is great fun to toss their daily pile down the dark hole in the wall. And if the pile isn't large enough? Let's just throw clean clothes down there too! What fun! In a scene straight out of "Night of The Living Laundry", I went to open the cabinet where the chutes empties and was lost under an avalanche that seemed to go on forever. My children stood by and laughed as I attempted to shield myself from the deluge. It was no use. When I finally managed to surface, I smelled distinctly like my three year old's wet "accident panties" and had a Teletubbie on my head. (Apparently when they run out of clothes, they give stuffed animals a thrill ride down the chute. Will poor Tinky Winky ever get a break?)

My children are still too young to even reach the knobs and buttons that operate the machine and my husband's few attempts have resulted in loads that are universally pink and dramatically down sized, so I suspect my affair shall continue for many years to come. So . . . oh, excuse me, I have to run! I hear the rinse cycle starting . . . coming FABIOooooooo!!!!

Bored?

sassy — Wed, 15 Jan 2003 14:11:32 GMT

Games!

anniz Survey

sassy — Tue, 14 Jan 2003 14:52:31 GMT

1. Are you ever going to travel to the moon?
I don't think it will be feasible in my lifetime

2. Does any other life exist in space?
Very likely

3. How old are you?
46

4. Where do you live?
San Francisco

5. Mention something unusual that you can do.
I am really good with names, and can recognize people even when I haven't seen them in years

6. Do you like to play Scrabble?
Oddly, I have never played Scrabble

7. Who have you met that’s really famous?
Armstead Maupin, Ansley Dunbar, Randy Cross, Jerry Rice, the Frugal Gourmet... more I can't recall now.

8. What’s your favorite object?
My computer :)

9. Do you consider yourself a good person?
Yes.

10. What do you love?
Not who? San Francisco, traveling, coffee, pasta, blues music.

11. What’s your best talent?
Research

12. Do you like Vanilla Coke?
I've never tried it, but I don't like colas. I am a root beer girl :)

13. What’s your best side?
Generosity.

14. What’s your worst side?
Inertia.

15. What are you doing right now?
Stripping music from my many CDs.

16. Have you had sex today?
No.

17. What kind of pet do you have?
No pets allowed here - I have many stuffed pets!

18. What’s your favorite season?
Autumn.

19. What do you believe in?
Beauty, mercy, that the wheel turns.

20. What’s the last thing you bought for yourself?
Food.

21. What are you wearing right now?
Blue wickypants and a tee-shirt from the Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame.

22. What’s broken that needs to be fixed?
Motivation

23. Which famous person do you want to have dinner with?
Lou Reed.

24. Do you drink enough water?
I drink plenty of liquid, but not all of it water.

25. When was the last time you laughed?
Last night, reading.

26. Are you silly?
Can be...

27. If you won $1,000,000, what would you do?
Buy a house, a car and plan some travel.

aesthetics of astonishment

Books 2008

Doing My Part

3/24/03

Getting somewhere...

Yay!

One more reason...

Again for Tig

Damn!

Hi Tigg!

Yay!

How to drink like the Scots!

Senses..,

Music Survey

*snicker*

Three survey

Save yourself!

Bored?

anniz Survey

snicker