The Penis Size Stat No One Talks About
Turns out, the average guy is in the Goldilocks zone.
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Last year I wrote a piece, What Penis Size has to do with Monogamy.
It went viral, and one of the most common questions from penis havers was about girth.
Let’s talk girth, lovers.
Girth is the thickness of the penis, whereas length is exactly what it sounds like.
If you think of penis size, chances are length is what comes to mind first. But girth is often the dealbreaker — or dealmaker.
Longer penises can reach the cervix or A-spot (points deep inside the vaginal canal) whiiiiich isn’t always a good thing. This can be uncomfortable or even painful for some.
In one study, 45 out of 50 women said girth mattered more than length for sexual satisfaction.1
In a second 3D model study, 75 women picked their ideal size from 33 penis models.2
When it came to long-term sex partners, women preferred:
length of 6.3” / 16cm
circumference / girth of 4.8” / 12.2cm.
For one night stands, their preferences only ticked up slightly:
length of 6.4” / 16.3cm
circumference / girth of 5” / 12.7cm.
In both instances, the sweet spot for girth hovered around 4.8” to 5”.
So, how does the average man measure up?
The average erect penis is about 4.6” in girth.
We often think that bigger is better. But what we’re actually looking for is the right fit.
It’s the goldilocks principle: Not too big, not too small, but just right.
So the average man is firmly within the Goldilocks zone.
That, my friends, is the science.
One Reddit commenter nailed it:
“I genuinely think porn is confusing people into thinking dicks which are ideal for many women are too small.”
Porn has totally distorted what men think women want. Ultimately, women want sex that feels good — not sex that hurts.
If I had been drinking while reading this, I would have sprayed it across the room:
“In what world do men line up with their dicks out for women to select them?
So you’ve not got a porn stars cock, what are you going to do about it?
You’re going to have to learn how to rock her world with what you’ve got.
Which ironically is a hell of a lot easier to do than you’d think.”
1000%. The size of your package has nothing to do with presence, attunement, or skill — and these are all skills that can be taught.
PS: The Small Business Saturday sale was extended by one day and ends tomorrow 12/8 at 11:59pm, so you still have time to get $100 off of the Erotic Audit and buy one get one 50% off for the single Spark Sessions. Plus, book either and enjoy the bonus of 28 Days of Pleasure, daily audio practices by yours truly.
The 50% off Substack forever was extended until tomorrow!
Sex and Style is a love letter to the body, written by Certified Sexologist & Somatic Sex Coach, Sarah Ward. By day, Sarah helps people unlearn shame and reclaim pleasure. By night, she embodies presence and power as a professional flamenco dancer. Based in Albuquerque, NM, she offers coaching worldwide. For a personalized approach, schedule a free call with Sarah.
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Source: National Library of Medicine
As an older woman with some amazing multiple memories of both really good and really bad sex, the article is right on. As far as the fact that women may have long dildos, remember the woman is deciding how far in to go. Actually long dildos are easier to use but no one inserts the damn thing to the hilt. Those inches at the bottom are the handle! Actually in my experience, neither girth or length means anything. The worst sex I’ve had has been with really large guys who thought all they had to do was have a big member yet had no idea how to use it. Sex is more than penis in vagina…it is fingers, and lips, and taking the time to make your lady have five or six orgasms before you get your one. If you do that, I promise you, that one will be freaking amazing because ladies love to please those who please them.
I always remember what a gal once said. It’s not the size that counts it’s the way you use it.