Waves
I think I might be bipolar these days. I keep getting these intense waves of, "I wish I were dead" or "I'm so happy" rushing through my system like a hormonal flood. Fortunately these are only occasional and 95% of the time is -- for the moment -- spent on fairly stable ground. Still, I don't think these emotional waves are normal, though they're fortunately not so frequent as to interfere with normal life.
75% complete, 9 of 12 consecutive work nights are behind me and I feel fine. I feel like I'm in a position to really try to work hard for 2010 in preparation for the 2011 trip abroad. I've even been thinking about taking a course or two at school this spring, too, although I dunno because it would require going out in the cold. :b I try to minimize any having to go out the door right now.
As of today, I am officially on the board of our scifi club Tutka; I haven't been in the board of anything since B&B-Infrared (only those who were there should get that reference) or high school student council. It's an interesting challenge and I was a bit concerned about meshing it this year with my Florida trips, but since those have fallen through and are no longer relevant, I should be able to be around all year to contribute to the club meaningfully. I don't think I'm going to pursue another term though, because I'd feel guilty about taking up a board slot in 2011 while being out of the country for three months. (And who knows, I might suck at it this year anyway.)
I dunno about girls, there are a couple I'd really like to harass (as in, ask if they might be available for dinner), but on the other hand I also have the really strong feeling of wanting to give up and just not worry about it at all this year. I dunno if the stress is worth it. Maybe I should just let them be and try to stop thinking about them. It's not like they can't lead their own lives without my interference. It's not like anybody actually *needs* me in their lives that way, so why not just continue taking a break from women.
Priorities for the year 2010, in order of importance:
1. Work hard -> build bank balance, save up for next winter trip, maybe get new furniture
2. Chill at home and rest to avoid overexertion
3. Focus on Tutka and try to do the best job I can
4. MAYBE a couple of courses at school here and there
5. Don't think about women
6. Try to get a LITTLE bit of writing done
75% complete, 9 of 12 consecutive work nights are behind me and I feel fine. I feel like I'm in a position to really try to work hard for 2010 in preparation for the 2011 trip abroad. I've even been thinking about taking a course or two at school this spring, too, although I dunno because it would require going out in the cold. :b I try to minimize any having to go out the door right now.
As of today, I am officially on the board of our scifi club Tutka; I haven't been in the board of anything since B&B-Infrared (only those who were there should get that reference) or high school student council. It's an interesting challenge and I was a bit concerned about meshing it this year with my Florida trips, but since those have fallen through and are no longer relevant, I should be able to be around all year to contribute to the club meaningfully. I don't think I'm going to pursue another term though, because I'd feel guilty about taking up a board slot in 2011 while being out of the country for three months. (And who knows, I might suck at it this year anyway.)
I dunno about girls, there are a couple I'd really like to harass (as in, ask if they might be available for dinner), but on the other hand I also have the really strong feeling of wanting to give up and just not worry about it at all this year. I dunno if the stress is worth it. Maybe I should just let them be and try to stop thinking about them. It's not like they can't lead their own lives without my interference. It's not like anybody actually *needs* me in their lives that way, so why not just continue taking a break from women.
Priorities for the year 2010, in order of importance:
1. Work hard -> build bank balance, save up for next winter trip, maybe get new furniture
2. Chill at home and rest to avoid overexertion
3. Focus on Tutka and try to do the best job I can
4. MAYBE a couple of courses at school here and there
5. Don't think about women
6. Try to get a LITTLE bit of writing done