Discover, Probe

There is so much we didn't know about my wife’s behavioral changes with Alzheimer’s. We are consistently uncovering “hidden abilities” that we never imagined were capable of being revived. One new discovery leads to another.

My point is, caregivers, “don't give up.” You have to “gently” probe. You can't presume that there is “no there, there.” Explore and probe the historical habits of your loved one to possibly revive them. Keep looking for what they have done before and possibly can do now, no matter how basic it may be. When you do discover it, celebrate this to no end.

My goal is to make my wife smile and boost her self-esteem, which is crucial for her and me as her caregiver. She is now enthused with more disposition to try other basic things that no doubt are always difficult. I always congratulate her for something as I try to avoid her frustration. The caregiver can go from there. This is all about trial and error. You will probably discover other abilities you never suspected, as I did.

If possible, family caregivers can attempt to “tap into” those “hidden historic habits,” regardless of what they are, to integrate their loved one into daily life.

Again, I am not trying to cure Alzheimer's. I don't pretend to restore the past, not at all. I am only interested in the present day by increasing her ability to integrate and interact more with her family and daily activities. I can't help but feel we are making tremendous progress even though she doesn't speak, progress I never dreamed of before. Alzheimer's may be a death sentence, but my wife is more “alive” today than a year ago.

“Don’t Sit Back”

Family caregivers, be patient, explore, and don't just “sit back” and presume there is nothing you can do. I assure you, you will find “hidden historical abilities” in your loved ones’ background to expand on. You will be pleasantly surprised by their reaction, as they will show you in their own way their appreciation and affection as they realize what you are trying to do. That reaction is so gratifying; it wipes out all of that stress and frustration that came along the way, as it's what keeps me going. They are part of her behavioral history that Alzheimer's does not destroy completely.

This is not always possible, as each stage of this disease is different in behavior. Not even therapists can be sure of any potential interaction your loved one has regardless of the stage they are experiencing. What do they do? They ask the caregiver what were their likes and dislikes, their hobbies and abilities before this disease began. They then “explore and try,” even if it means achieving a minimal amount of interaction.

Treasure Trove

Family caregivers have a treasure trove of “historical interests, hobbies, and habits” that they can also “try” to bring back to life. There is nothing to lose in trying and everything to gain.

Behavioral Changes No Warnings

I am just learning what is happening to her day by day through her behavioral changes that are without any warning. Behavioral changes have no particular order and don't give any alerts. They can vary among Alzheimer's victims. They just happen “on the fly,” which means I have to be “on my toes” and ready for any new surprises from the first moment of every day. I realized I can never leave her alone again.

I just feel that, as her caregiver, with my constant interaction and probing, I can make all the difference in the world to delay her shutdown.

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Possibly you can too, if you are also a home caregiver of a family member with this disease.

Try to integrate your loved one into your daily life on this difficult journey.