sam

15 YEARS HOW IS THAT TRUE GOOD GOD I AM OLD

2017-04-26T14:34:17Z

the world is full of things

2013-05-05T09:39:21Z

my heart.

2012-03-21T15:59:20Z

happy 6th anniversary, KAT-TUN. thank you for everything you've given me over the years; the music, the joy, the love, the friends, the laughter and the occasional heartbreak. see you on the 26th. ♥

desperate attempt to look active on livejournal

2012-01-04T09:17:42Z

hope everyone had a happy new year! #worstlivejournaler

on saturday i'm seeing jin T__T i just realised it's been almost exactly a year since i saw yellow gold. how crazy.

Saying goodbye is sad.

2011-08-25T21:10:52Z

I just said goodbye to everyone at my work. It is really sad. My job is the sort where everyone kind of hates it, and that hatred creates this sort of weird camaraderie. I guess it's the sort of job most people stay in forever, so when someone leaves it is really bizarre.

I tend to think of myself as a super emotional person when it comes to books and movies and television, but when it comes to real-life people I am cold like a serial killer. I am always like this in my head, anyway, and in some respect to a percentage of people, so I'm never really prepared to actually feel real human emotions when they come. It's like they sneak up on me or something.

Tonight one of my coworkers (an older lady) organised this big party where everyone brought in homemade food. She had a retarded colourful kid's tablecloth and everything, because she knew how much I'd enjoy it, and it reminded me of how well you get to know the people you work with, even when you're like me and don't realise that they've actually become real people to you, not just people you bump into every day. In a way it's like highschool, the same sort of atmosphere, because you're all smushed in with people you'd usually never interact with. I kinda love that. Even when the people are 100% annoying it is still fascinating to me. My coworkers are pretty much made up of country people, some of which are a little homophobic, or racist, or just plain old normal. I guess what I want to say is that I never expected to become so close to some of these people, especially my closest friend, because she's someone I wouldn't really cross paths with if we didn't work together. She's a couple years older than me, and married with a kid, and even though we talk constantly at work she is very WTF LOL about the whole SAM LOVES JAPANESE BOYBANDS thing. I take great delight in telling her things that'll horrify her. She says the most horrible things about Kame. I kinda love it.

I walked into work tonight and she presented me with this big card with さようなら written on the envelope, and I stared at it for ages while she proudly told me how she'd googled it, and that I had an awesome present coming that she'd made everyone chip in for. I think these are the things that really get to me; people doing things that are so completely outside their comfort zone. Then she told me that I'd always be one of her best friends. Now I am reminded of how much I am totally cut off from my own emotions, like a creepy robot.

Sam's first livejournal post in a million years................................. hi. Sorry you get emo post and not details about how I saw Big Bang and a gazillion other way more interesting things. Just felt like putting this here.

P.S. Someone wrote a note in my goodbye card and mentioned my love for JUSTINE BEAVER jesus christ i love people.

happy birthday, sweet thang.

2011-07-04T06:21:56Z

jincakes, originally uploaded by samenashi.

who wants to be my baby

2011-06-04T03:02:10Z

on skype awhile ago with soundczech. when she went through haneda airport on her way to taiwan they made her put all her liquids into this plastic bag. no dignity.

yep. saw justin bieber in concert. at budokan. with soundczech and darlita. L O L. it was pretty awesome. i found KAT-TUN fans and screamed KAMENASHI at them. instant friends.

and when i say i found KAT-TUN fans, i mean i saw two girls holding KAT-TUN penlights, ran straight at them after the con ended, and literally screamed KAT-TUN in their faces*. they were so happy...

*how i make most of my friends

perfection personified.

2011-04-19T10:24:42Z

updating my address book

2011-04-11T21:05:49Z

please leave your address in the comments below. they are screened. everyone...

i cannot cut this

2011-04-07T00:35:47Z

i love the internet

yo kame

2011-03-30T08:17:14Z

this is a special movie rendition i made of soundczech's classic fiction "seachange".

all i do these days is mess around on facebook

2011-03-29T07:17:10Z

harassing soundczech's mother will never get old. whenever i stay at fitz's place i sleep in the room her parents had before they went to taiwan. the other day i was walking past the wardrobe and saw this red sleeve sticking out...

jess = soundczech, desley = her mother, m = ayuzak.

sinfonietta voice of music

2011-03-21T08:47:41Z

it's been a really long time since i made a proper post. one that isn't just a photo of my bag and its ridiculous contents, anyway. the picture to the left features myself, becquinho, spurious and some adorable jin fangirls we met in saitama. oh yeah. i saw jin in saitama. i feel like there are a million things i have done, and a million things i have posted about, but i think it's all been in my own head. the posting part, not the doing part.

everyone should have twitter. it's the only way i can keep up with the world.

things i have done in the past while: saw jin (3 times!) in saitama, which was, like, i don't know. an experience. i had this weird mini-breakdown when ryo was a guest, and i'm not even a ryo fan. "his friends still love him," i kept sobbing brokenly. it was extra hilarious because there was a guy standing next to becs and i, on his own, wearing a face mask. he was so awkward.

we had amazing arena seats for one night, thanks to a friend, and we were so close. jin stared so blankly at my AQUANEESHA uchiwa. it was pure happiness. i don't think i've ever seen so excited for anything in my life as i was that first night, sitting there just waiting for jin to come on stage.

jin fans are the best fans. i made a new friend. she is adorable and happy, and owns a bear dressed like jin, and now we email each other. i love people so much. i have never been approached by so many excited, enthusiastic fans in my life. this one girl had an arashi bag and so we just kept screaming names at each other. "MATSUJUN!!" "OHNO!!!" language barrier, what??

saw takki's ridiculous stage play. also saw kinki & kisumai. they were all awesome. i don't know, i did a million things on my jincation in january. my mind feels all fuzzy and vague when i try to recall them, and then i feel like they aren't relevant anymore, or something. tsuyoshi is a golden fucking god. he brings me such calm.

♥ some happy things.

saw andrew mcmahon twice, in sydney and then in melbourne. he was full of magic and joy, just like always. he sings with all his heart.

had arranged to go to japan (and korea, with emily!) in may with soundczech and leanan_je, and to meet ayuzak over there to hopefully catch KAT-TUN things, but the KT part seems sort of intensely unlikely to happen. still planning on going... i dunno. i guess worst case scenario we will spend longer in taiwan than we expected to.

things i am excited for: #blacktiebieber with my friends at the start of april! easter weekend with soundczech and leanan_je, for we shall do lots of karaoke.

there are a million more things on my mind, it's all over the place lately. but i will leave you with this. ayuzak drew it for me. IT'S A DEER AND I. i love love love my friends, the end.

i am a bag meme

2011-03-08T20:25:55Z

bag meme, originally uploaded by samenashi.

doing that bag meme because it kind of looked like fun. please pretend i am an active and dedicated user of livejournal.

i emptied my bag out and honestly felt ashamed. everyone else has these nice things and i have a pile of trash. cool. i made the photo big cause i roll like that.

list of contents: wallet, hairclip, nail files x3 (lol the kisumai one), glasses case (in shape of rabbit! cute...), book with a million purikura inside, eyedrops, lipbalm from takki's stageplay thing, gigantic pile of polaroids, headphones, mirror with a special friend on it, a friend's business card, more purikura, old train tickets, keys, lipbalm, wristband from andrew mcmahon gig in sydney, bottle of glittery nailpolish, pen with big bang's faces on, comb, little felt book of polaroids with bear on (i got it in korea. it is cute.), video recorder, tiny hand towel, nintendo ds, the order form for jin's single lol, loose change, printout an adorable busker gave me about his music, my itinerary from my flight to japan in jan... + bonus cat.

it's become obvious to me that my bag is in desperate need of a clean out. usually my ipod would be in here. and my phone. and a hello kitty compact.

samenashi @ 2011-02-03T20:30:00

2011-02-03T09:30:56Z

View Poll: #1676556

pimpin

2011-01-21T11:28:08Z

pimpin, originally uploaded by samenashi.

They see me rollin
They hatin
Patrolling they tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
My music so loud
I'm swangin
They hopin that they gon catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty

two friends hanging out

2011-01-19T09:01:45Z

two friends hanging out, originally uploaded by samenashi.

since i can remember you've told me what to do.

2011-01-14T15:40:04Z

Saw Jin tonight.

Was epic.

He did this insane intro... fanrecording here.

I will love him forever. :(

Care
Murasaki
Paparats :DDD
Pin Dom
The Fifth Season
Yellow Gold
Hey Girl
Tipsy Love
Eternal

you are the guch

2010-12-18T06:26:26Z

korea/japan 2010 november, originally uploaded by samenashi.

Every time I think about updating my LJ I am met with this intense horror. It's been so long... I have so many photos... it'll take so long... I can't remember anything... T_T

So here. As always, a million inadequate dot points.

Went to Korea with happiestwhen a while ago. For a week. We won those vip tix to the Asia Song Festival... it was all kind of insane. My flight got in pretty early in the morning, and I didn't sleep much on the plane, so I was looking forward to checking in early so I could get a couple hours sleep before we had to be at the festival. THEN I GOT THERE AND THEY WOULDN'T LET ME CHECK IN EARLY EVEN THOUGH WE SPECIFIED WHEN WE BOOKED. T_T And I was like, "is there somewhere I can shower..." and I had to go to public baths with Korean women and it was an awkward time. Then we went to ASF and it was so retarded fakdjfkdf like. The people who organised our VIP thing were super nice but it was so terribly organised. Went backstage but there was no one there... man, if Suju or someone were supposed to be there I would have been so angry. But it was okay. At least we got awesome seats. Also we had to wear these terrible ugly construction worker-esque vests to identify us as VIP so I was kind of glad no stars could see us in them...

Got interviewed for some Japanese morning TV show. The interviewer was adorable and kept laughing when happiestwhen was all enthusiastic about AKB48. We bumped into him again later and somehow started talking JE... I was like... "I love KAT-TUN" and HE WAS LIKE, "OH, DOESN'T AKANISHI HATE THEM NOW?" THEN HE GOT A GIANT RAMBLING SPEECH ABOUT THEIR ROCKY RELATIONSHIP FROM ME. CANNOT HOLD BACK.

A Japanese businessman gave me his binoculars so I could look at the sexy girl groups on stage. akljdsf. I asked him why he was there and he told me some story about how he wanted to put the festival on in Japan next year...?

korea is insane.

GOD THAT WAS EXHAUSTING. TL;DR: Didn't get to meet Rain, but apparently he is a giant douche anyway so it's all good. If you want more photos they are in my flickr account.

Anyway. Then Emily and I spent a week in Korea together. It was fun. We:

☆ shopped too much :|
☆ bought wigs lol
☆ went to a dating club where I was propositioned by a guy who looked like a reject from a Big Bang member audition & Emily was told repetitively by some guy that she was IN HIS HEARTTTTTTTT
☆ ate delicious Korean food
☆ went on a sexy date to Seoul Tower where Emily proposed to me and we had to climb down a million super steep stairs
☆ were followed off the subway by a guy who was really insisted on exchanging information T_T
☆ MET AN ADORABLE JAPANESE STREET PERFORMER. SERIOUSLY SHE WAS SO ADORABLE AND USED KANSAI BEN T_T MOST ADORABLE. WE WANTED TO BE HER FRIEND...
☆ were seriously harassed by a businessman (SERIOUSLY HE GOT DOWN ON HIS KNEES AND BEGGED US IT WAS SO AWKWARD) until we gave in and followed him to the creepiest karaoke place where we had to sing a song while he and his businessman friends danced around with tambourines "I NEED TWO GIRLS... MY MISSION... IT IS MY MISSION... PLEASE"
☆ visited Emily's old kindergarten ahhhhhhhhhhh adorable children

☆ bought way too much idol merch :|
☆ laughed a lot at Chun's awkward Nature Republic promo pics.

☆ went to Lotte World! Themeparks :D :D :D

☆ saw an awesome stageplay thing... called Jump. The actors signed these big posters for us ONE OF THEM LOOKED LIKE TOP, IT WAS SO INTIMIDATING...
☆ saw Yesung in his retarded Spamalot musical. It was so fucking insane. We were so close. Like. Row E. In a theatre. Bizarre.
☆ OH WE ALSO STALKED EETEUK AND HYUKJAE OUTSIDE KISS THE RADIO. IT WAS PSYCHOTIC. THE FANGIRLS HAD SUCH GIANT ZOOM LENSES AHH KOREA. WE MADE FRIENDS WITH SOME BEAST FANGIRLS THEY WERE SO CUTE. THEY WANTED TO TAKE PHOTOS TOGETHER. "WHEN YOU LEAVE... I AM... BIG SAD..." T_T

I cannot think of anything else. But there were so many happy times. FRIIIIIIIEEEEENNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDD.

Then we had Japan happytimes. I saw Berryz again. lol. I SAW K8. They were amazing and epic. I got so many weird looks akljdfksd thanks Fukuoka. Also saw my buddy spurious. OH! I SAW TAKKI AND TSUBASA WITH leanan_je. IT WAS SO GOOD. T_T I miss leanan_je. T_T May, ok... I have a million stories about Japan but I am just too lazy.

One night Emily and I were cornered by this guy in an izakaya who really wanted to eat together, us and him and his friend. His English was so hilarious... at one point he was like, "I want to be with Bi(Rain)." and when we started dying he looked so horrified... after that every time I asked him about a boyband he was like, NO. I DO NOT LIKE THEM BECAUSE I AM A MAN. My default conversation... talk JE... T_T I talked to his friend about KAT-TUN lolol. He liked Kame. Then we talked about Arashi and when I said I liked Ohno best he just kept going, "BUT WHAT IS THE POINT. OHNO. WHAT IS THE POINT?" Poor Ohno. My friend kept getting progressively more and more drunk and touchy feely and Emily's friend just kept talking about his love for Arashi. "They are best. They are best." Oh people.

Hung out with darlita's bf lol. We sang some Green Day together.

Had to go on an awkward day trip with some of Emily's adult students... they were really nice but T_T

While going through these photos I just remembered that when I was in Ise a giant crowd of people started freaking out about some celeb in their midst and I was SO EXCITED BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS KIMUTAKU OR SOMEONE and then it turned out to be some stupid boxer :( It was the Yuichi/Uchi miscommunication at Tegomass all over again.

Also saw Johnny Weir the other weekend... but I posted about that already lolol. He was pretty epic. And sparkly. #melbmas weekend was so fun. T_T We all swapped mix cds. Mine was an Akanishi Jin mix. My friends are not into jpop at all. Have officially lost it. This is what the cover looked like. :|

Am most psychotic.

I stole that photo.

Am currently happy because ayuzak is coming to Aus for Christmas. *_* Happiest.

Also I am blonde now. T_T

Congratulations for making it to the end of this post.

i promise a real post soon

2010-12-04T15:05:56Z

"our fandom is johnny weir OFF ice", originally uploaded by tenderlung.

saw the magnificence that is johnny weir today no big dealio. he skated to bad romance. it was kinda like what i imagine seeing kame on ice would be like.

this was going to be a long post, but it in the end it comes down to four very simple points.

2010-10-04T23:15:10Z

it is probably best that we are not friends if:

☠ you hate seeing news about jin.
☠ you hate jin's face.
☠ you hate jin's angelic voice.
☠ you claim to be a KAT-TUN fan but do not love jin.

i am not saying you are wrong if you think any of the above. just that you have no soul.

because i told nemo i would post a humorous tale

2010-09-22T23:04:52Z

my japanese friend, originally uploaded by samenashi.

mnemonic_psych sent me a letter the other day. i opened it at work and this photo fell out.

"what is it?? a LOVE LETTER??" a coworker asked as i started laughing.

"just my japanese friend... kame..." i said. they all know kame. just yesterday alone they referred to him as a) a girl (even though i am used to this i still make strong arguments for his manliness), and b) an african-american (?). a while ago i made them look at his shirtless lamdash advertisement.

"oh..." my new coworker said. she doesn't know kame too well yet, even though i made her watch the real face and d-motion pvs on my ipod. she said they were better than she expected they would be. she thought junno was handsome. "who sent the photo?"

"just a friend," i said.

"oh..." she said again. "oh, did she take that photo in his apartment??"

nemo i had no idea you and kazuya were so close

why are the only dates i am in japan for in hokkaido and fukuoka

2010-09-10T10:43:30Z

i don't suppose anyone wants to see k8 in................ fukuoka

on the 10th of nov

T_T

anyone... T_T

friends...

it'll all come good if she can put in the hours

2010-09-07T09:56:08Z

doraemon, originally uploaded by samenashi.

It has been five weeks since I last updated. I had no idea. How pathetic. Even though I am lousy at updating, I think about posting things all the time... so here are some things I have thought about posting.

Went to this anime convention called Manifest a while ago. It was pretty hilarious and entertaining. I dressed up as Doraemon... so many tiny asian girls wanted to hug me. One guy ran at me from behind and hugged me forcefully while screaming DORAEMONNNNNNNNNNN. Also obsessed over a really hot cosplayer then stalked him on facebook and realised he was only 16. T_T Disturbing. Accidental pedo.

Went to see The Whitlams. My favourite Australian band and one of my favourite bands ever. I love them so much. Was standing right in front of Tim, luckily did not look like the girl who was staring dreamily at him the whole time. How horrific would that be. Tim is not dreamy. Asked one of the stagehands to get me his setlist after the show then gave it to Tim to sign... and Tim... folded it up and put it in his pocket whilst telling me that i couldn't have it... because it was his... and he had to "learn it"... he had all these stupid notes on it too. "THROW TO THE BOYS" "NICK CAVE". Then he started awkwardly signing cds to give to me. "it's a barter..." Sooooooo awkward. "I didn't realise it had such sentimental value," I said, only it came out sounding intensely sarcastic. T_T I am misunderstood.

Work is boring. Life is boring. I keep having these bizarre painfully transparent nightmares. T_T

Thinking about Jin is depressing. I just want an album... Am currently annoyed at a 13yo for talking shit about KAT-TUN fans/being childish. BEING CHILDISH. SOMETIMES I HAVE TO STOP AND LAUGH AT MYSELF. SHE IS 13!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BEING ANNOYED AT TEENAGERS IS SO FRUSTRATING. Fandom is completely ridiculous.

Am hanging out in Korea for a week in October with my boo happiestwhen...

I don't know. I always have a million things to talk about, but then I open the update page and just stare at it blankly. They are all things that are only interesting or entertaining in the moment. Like accidentally building a shrine to Kame at work. Or that time the other week soundczech and I were having dinner at a Japanese place and a crazy guy wandered in and started harassing this poor girl about dim sims. Or how I saw the movie adaptation of Tomorrow When The War Began (based on some of my favourite books when I was younger!) with a bunch of people last weekend, and saw Neighbours star Zeke the Geek while eating dinner... Then I saw Toadie the next day... dunno why this is so hilarious to me. "That guy looks like Toadie if Toadie was skinny," Fitz said.

Or how the only things I really watch these days are KinKi Kids clips. T_T The other day I had a nightmare where my laptop was stolen and I sobbed miserably and moaned, "How will I watch my Koichi clips now..."

Or how I am only really capable of updating twitter...

Or how I now own the most ridiculous phone charm in the world. Thank you KAT-TUN.

Spring is officially here. I have never been so glad in all my life.

But really I just wanted to say Hello. And that I am alive. Hi. How are you.

samenashi @ 2010-07-17T23:35:00

2010-07-17T13:35:34Z

優しい光に　照らされながら　あたり前のように歩いてた
扉の向こう　目を凝らしても　深い霧で何も見えなかった

ずっと続くんだと　思い込んでいたけど
指のすき間から　こぼれていった

思い出せる　いろんなこと
花咲き誇る頃に　君の笑顔で晴れた　街の空
涼しい風　鳥の歌声　並んで感じていた
つなぐ糸の細さに　気づかぬままで

忘れたことも　忘れるほどの　無邪気でにぎやかな時ん中
いつもとちがう　マジメな君の　「怖い」ってつぶやきが解んなかった

暖めるための　火を絶やさないように
大事な物まで　燃やすところだった

思い出せる　いろんなこと
花咲き誇る頃に　可愛い話ばかり　転がってた
裸足になって　かけ出す痛み　それさえも心地良く
一人よがりの意味も　知らないフリして

思い出せる　すみずみまで
若葉の繁る頃に　予測できない雨に　とまどってた
泣きたいほど　懐しいけど　ひとまずカギをかけて
少しでも近づくよ　バカげた夢に
今君の知らない道を歩き始める

スピッツ - 若葉