If Sexy Was a Crime, Kurt/Blaine, NC-17

Title: If Sexy Was a Crime
Author: sailorraspberry
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Kurt/Blaine
Word Count: 1,811
Summary: Blaine is being lame and needy and Kurt is a jerk.
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Extremely cheesy pickup lines. Blowjobs.
Author Notes: I wrote this for the lovely kurtdickmel aka Sophie because I love her. Also, sorry for the lame title.

“Do you have a map?”

Kurt looked up from his magazine and across the couch at Blaine. He was staring intently back at him, one corner of his mouth tweaked into a grin. Kurt lifted an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

Blaine’s mouth pulled into a proper smile as he slid his foot slowly over the cushion separating them to nudge at Kurt’s. “Because, baby, I’m getting lost in your eyes.”

The snort came before he could stop it, “Oh my god, you cheesy-” he whacked Blaine’s prodding foot with his magazine. “I thought we moved passed that point in our relationship.”

Blaine was struggling to keep a straight face as he scooted over to pluck the magazine out of Kurt’s grasp and drop it on the coffee table. “We have, but I’m bored, and I’m needy, and desperate times call for desperate measures.”

Kurt eyed him for a minute, silent and calculating as he let Blaine rearrange his legs to urge Kurt’s body toward him. Then, when Blaine had a hand around the back of his neck and was trying to tug him forward for a kiss, Kurt said, “We don’t have enough time for sex.”

He sighed out against Kurt’s lips, tilting his head until their foreheads rested softly together. “Hey,” he whispered, and Kurt’s eyes crossed to look at the bend of his lips.

“What?”

Blaine’s eyelids fluttered a little. “If sexy was a crime...”

Kurt scoffed, tried to push him away as the laughter started to bubble out. “Don’t you say it, Blaine Anderson, I swear-”

“Baby, you’d be guilty as charged.”

Blaine pressed in for a kiss then, and Kurt was laughing too hard to resist it, sliding a hand up his chest to rest right over his heart. “So lame,” he murmured between the end of a kiss and the start of another. “So, so, so painfully lame.”

“You love it,” he countered easily, the ghost of his smile left on Kurt’s mouth. A little waggle of the eyebrows, and Blaine was so sure of himself.

“Apparently not enough,” Kurt said, trying to reach around Blaine for his magazine. “I’m not in the mood.”

The smile slipped away slowly, dipping into a frown, and Blaine looked wounded. Really, Kurt found it all too easy. “Fine,” Blaine mumbled, and retreated back to his end of the couch. “I wasn’t really in the mood for sex, either.”

“Perfect,” Kurt lamented, snapping his magazine back open and hoping Blaine couldn’t see the lie written blatantly on his face. “So, you won’t mind if I read you this fantastic recipe for squash stew? It sounds like a great autumn dish.”

Blaine’s face was so pathetically downcast that Kurt was not at all surprised that he could only get halfway through the list of ingredients before Blaine gave a broken whine that fell away into his name. “Kurt...”

There was a familiar warmth in the pit of his stomach, a thrum of excitement that had his grin turning a little giddy, “Yes, alright,” he said, tossing the magazine aside and holding a hand out. Blaine scampered forward immediately, but Kurt held up a finger. “No more cheesy pick up lines.”

“Hey,” Blaine said, and with a charming smile, he pulled Kurt to his feet to press an open kiss to his mouth. “They worked, didn’t they?”

Kurt rolled his eyes as Blaine threaded their fingers together to tug him over to the hallway. “My mind is telling me no,” he started, and then Blaine was laughing as they skipped every other stair, hustling their way onto the second story landing.

“But your penis is saying yes?” Blaine finished, and when they stumbled over the last step, he gripped Kurt hard by the sharp point of his hips and pressed him against the nearest wall. “Love you,” he murmured, sucking a kiss just above the collar of his shirt. Kurt hummed, running his hands up Blaine’s back, digging fingernails into cotton.

“So much.” Blaine’s voice cracked as he said it, pressing forward harder, forcing himself up on the tips of his toes as he grabbed the back of Kurt’s knee to lift it up and around his waist. Their teeth hit, and Kurt found himself with a mouthful of Blaine’s tongue as he started rutting. Two humps and then they were slotted together, perfect and hard and throbbing as they groaned into each other’s mouths.

“Love you,” Kurt panted when he had to pull back to breathe, and Blaine just dipped his tongue back in, licking up behind Kurt’s teeth. The pressure was building in his groin, tugging and pulling and he was starting to tremble as Blaine kept the rhythm steady.

“Can we,” Kurt started, turning his head as Blaine tried to kiss him again, but Blaine just nuzzled his nose under Kurt’s jaw to encourage his head back farther. He was still rocking forward, a constant pressure and a teasing promise. “Bed, Blaine, come on.”

He was working a kiss right along the bulb of his jaw, and it made Kurt’s stomach coil even tighter. “Yeah,” he dropped Kurt’s leg and pulled him away from the wall. “Bed, good idea.”

Kurt couldn’t help the snort as Blaine tried to maneuver them through his closed bedroom door without having to let go.

“Blaine, god-” Kurt reached around them to twist the doorknob, because he was getting a little desperate and his pants were a little way too tight. After they stumbled through it, Kurt kicked the door shut behind them, fumbling as he tried to get the fly of his jeans down. “Just,” Kurt tried, but Blaine advanced on him, hefting him up- Kurt squawked like a bird, he had not been expecting that- to waddle them over to the bed and drop him gracelessly onto the mattress. Kurt narrowed his eyes, because Blaine was laughing. “Get naked already, will you?”

Blaine’s mouth canted into a teasing grin, “Only if you get naked first.”

He smiled back, couldn’t help it, and sat up to pull his shirt over his head. When he met Blaine’s eyes, they were dark and staring and Kurt flushed under the gaze. “You too,” he muttered, because no matter how many times they’ve been naked in front of each other, they’ve always been it together.

“Of course,” Blaine said, eyes dipping down Kurt’s body. “You’re really hot.”

Kurt was wiggling his hips, biting his lip to keep the grin at bay as his underwear came off with the jeans, and he was left sitting there, body throbbing and then harder between his legs as he watched Blaine strip down.

Kurt sat back on his elbows, waiting, knees falling open because if there was one thing he wasn’t, it was patient, and Blaine knew it.

Blaine took the bait, eyes fell down Kurt’s body, mouth parted and lips plump-red spit-slick, and Kurt tilted his hips upward just a little, tempting.

The bed dipped when Blaine crawled onto it, hands and knees as he moved toward Kurt, “Wanna blow you,” he said, mouth hovering over Kurt’s, and Kurt moaned into it, pressing his hips upward into Blaine’s. “That okay?”

Kurt laughed breathlessly against his parted lips, working his hips up again. “More than okay,” and Blaine bent into one more kiss, all tongue and teeth and heat.

He broke it with a lick behind his teeth and a smirk, locking eyes as he settled back between Kurt’s legs. “Love you,” he said again, softly, and then, grinning, “be as loud as you want.”

That was all the warning he gave him before he was sinking down.

“Oh,” Kurt arched hard, head falling back and hands moving to twine through Blaine’s hair. His mouth was hot, wet, and Kurt tightened his grip, drawing his knees up in a cradle around Blaine’s head.

Blaine groaned, and okay, okay, Kurt felt the whine edging into his throat as Blaine grappled for his trembling thighs, pushing him open, wide and bare, as his head started to bob.

“Oh, oh god.” Blaine flattened his tongue, pressing hard along the shaft of Kurt’s dick as he moved up, hand following the path as his mouth came off.

One hard twist at the head had Kurt’s hips twitching up, a moan pulled out deep from the back of his throat. Blaine smiled a little. “Good?”

Kurt gave a shaky grin, because that familiar heat was starting to build up heavily in the pit of his stomach, and Blaine was just stroking lazily, dragging it out, letting it simmer. “Blaine.”

He tilted his head, and if this was some sort of casual exchange over the dinner table, Kurt might have been amused. But it wasn’t. And Kurt was not. So, a little more desperately, “Blaine.”

Blaine brought his eyes back to Kurt’s cock, flushed and hard and shining with his saliva, waiting between his legs. He licked his lips.

Yeah, Kurt was close. Really, really close.

Blaine dipped his head forward, poking his tongue out to tease along the slit, and Kurt took in his flushed cheeks, his closed eyes and the fan of his lashes because god, his boyfriend was hot.

Blaine bent forward further, his hips working against the bed to relieve the friction his own cock was looking for, and sank his mouth down slowly, taking Kurt in a little bit at a time. He still held Kurt open, fingers digging hard into the tender flesh of his thighs, leaving Kurt to grip the bed sheets, whimpering pathetically as his cock slowly disappeared behind Blaine’s lips. He wasn’t going to last.

It wasn’t long before Blaine had all of him, lips stretched wide and red as his eyes drifted up to Kurt. He did his best to stare back, but then Blaine hummed, slow and steady, and with a choked off cry, Kurt was coming, pulsing hard down Blaine’s throat as Blaine swallowed around him, moaning with it as a hand dropped between his legs to palm at himself.

It took a minute for Kurt to steady his breathing, one arm slung over his eyes as Blaine pulled off him, panting and smiling, satisfied with himself. “You are,” Kurt tried, and then gave up. Settled with pulling Blaine into a lazy kiss.

Blaine pressed his hips forward against Kurt’s hip, a gentle reminder that he was still hard and aching, and Kurt grinned. “Blaine,” he said softly, reaching up a hand to cradle his cheek. “Did you just fart?”

Blaine gasped, jerking away like he’d been burnt. “What-”

Kurt grabbed his arm, anchoring him. “Because you just blew me away.”

Blaine stilled, blinked down at him, mouth hanging open. “You-”

Kurt chortled happily to himself, sitting up to press Blaine back into the pillows. “No talking,” he said seriously, patting the inside of Blaine’s thigh to encourage his legs open. “I’ll have my mouth full.”

Thanks for reading, and comments/reviews/critiques are welcome! ♥