this

FASHION POST

ryutsuki — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 16:32:31 GMT

TOO POOR TO AFFORD ANY OF THIS ANYWAY, but we can always just look!

PIN UP SODA POP

this is an atrocious abomination, imo

KID PIRATE

SHRINKLE

MECHANICAL BUNNY

SNAKES FLEW OUT

ASIAJAM
*
* for Christmas I got this from mintylim and it's <333333

FORMULAEXO *

* adorable Disney bottlecap earrings and jelly bracelets, jeweledeyes!

RAKUEN

this dress with the too-big image <333

LIVING OXYMORON

This post mildly inspired by a dream I had last night of looking through my closet and seeing all these wonderful, brightly colored shoes that were so pretty. But I was sad because I knew I never wore them, and it was a shame. So I resolved to find something to wear them with. The only colors I remember were a bright blue and a bright yellow/orange.

<3<3<3

ryutsuki — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 03:59:26 GMT

Oh man, I keep losing it at 1:16 - and by losing I mean just crying man. Oh my god.

"high on clouds of sunlight floating by"

ryutsuki — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 06:21:26 GMT

I just spent the evening reading Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut. An excerpt from the summary is as follows:

Unstuck in time, the hero of Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse-Five -- an unforgettable Everyman named Billy Pilgrim -- is never sure what part of his life he is going to have to act in next.

Vonnegut's wildly imaginative, witty and affecting novel tells Billy Pilgrim's story in just that fashion. It spins back and forth through time, layering in the elements of Billy's life, which begins, chronologically, in 1922 in the upstate New York town of Ilium, and ends over 50 years later, when he is a successful middle-class optometrist with a wife and two grown children. Like Vonnegut himself, Billy was a World War II draftee and a prisoner of war in Dresden when the Allies firebombed the city early in 1945. All of these facts are significant, and the novel emerges as a powerful anti-war statement, dominated by the experience of surviving the Dresden nightmare.

There is not much to say but that it is...general and specific about everything. I very much like it.

"you're comin' down fast!"

ryutsuki — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 21:43:39 GMT

St. Stephen's by Sky Gibert is arguably one of the best books I've ever read. It's also one of the worst.

Some explanation might be in order for that one.

See, reading St. Stephen's is like sitting on the back porch shooting the shit with a friend who's kinda fucked up if you think about it. You know you shouldn't be friends with this guy, but he makes you laugh; then he makes you think. So there. Ultimately the story is about education and the sexual politics of taboos, but it's also about uneducation and finding that Line.

Both terribly wonderful and wonderfully terrible, St. Stephen's is an excellent read for anyone interested in the politics of sex and that Line.

A summary:

Sky Gilbert boldly challenges the boundaries of gay politics and politically correct intellectualism in St. Stephen's, an intriguing and sexually charged story of a university professor's trysts with his younger male students. Never afraid to confront even the most taboo of taboos, Gilbert sets his novel in a conservative, small town university, allowing him the platform he needs to bring the difficult subject matter to the fore.

"(I never got any action anyway)"

ryutsuki — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 17:32:51 GMT

From foofighter0234:

What Sarah Means

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

HAHAHAHAHAHAnot.

You Are An INTP

The Thinker

You are analytical and logical - and on a quest to learn everything you can.
Smart and complex, you always love a new intellectual challenge.
Your biggest pet peeve is people who slow you down with trivial chit chat.
A quiet maverick, you tend to ignore rules and authority whenever you feel like it.

In love, you are an easy person to fall for. But not an easy person to stay in love with.
Although you are quite flexible, you often come off as aloof or argumentative.

At work, you are both a logical and creative thinker. You are great at solving problems.
You would make an excellent mathematician, programmer, or professor.

How you see yourself: Creative, fair, and tough-minded

When other people don't get you, they see you as: arrogant, cold, and robotic

What's Your Personality Type?

SURPRISE!

From Faye:
-=-Outcast-=-
[x] You don't have very many friends. what the hell is "many" and "few"? What the hell is average?
[ ] Often times, teachers forget your name.
[ ] You were always picked last for kickball.
[X] You don't like to talk a lot. Too busy listening or with nothing to say?
[ ] You tend to avoid mass social activities.
[X] You don't participate in any extracurricular activities. way too lazy!
[X ] All you wish for is to move away or get a fresh start. I want out of Alaska!
[ ] Your friends have blown you off before. No friends to blow me off. In elementary school.
[ ] You sit alone in most of your classes.
[ ] You have a feeling that once you leave high school or college, nobody is going to remember you.
[x] You hold interest in activities that other people find strange.
[ ] You have a large sexual background. What the hell does this mean?
[ ] People don't find you friendly.
[ ] You hold extreme hate towards another high school stereotype.
[X] You eat alone at lunch. My schedule doesn't usually correspond...?
Total = 6

-=-Party Girl/Boy-=-
[x] Lets face it: you like to party.
[ ] You party every other weekend.
[ ] or every weekend?
[ ] You've been going to frat house parties since early high school.
[ ] You're the defending beer bong champion.
[ ] You know the best hook-ups in the state...world
[ ] Everybody who's anybody goes to the same parties you go to.
[ ] You've hooked up at parties.
[ ] You spend time getting ready for parties.
[x] You've passed out from being too drunk.
[x] You've partied all night.
[ ] You've snuck out of the house to party.
[ ] Actually, your parents really don't care if you party or not.
[ ] You're pretty much nocturnal.
[ ] You like to go clubbing.
[ ] You and your friends always party hop.
[ ] You've crashed a party before.
[ ] One way or another, you've wound up naked in front of everybody at a party
[x] You've thrown up from drinking too much.
[x] You've done something that you regret at a party.
[ ] You can dance.
[X] You're friends with a lot of people older than you.
Total = 6

-=-Scene Kid-=
[x] You know what sXe and hXc actually mean.
[ ] You have a obsession with dinosaurs, robots, and Pokemon
[ ] You idolize Jeffree Starr
[ ] People have called you scene before.
[ ] You spend at least an hour getting ready to take pictures of yourself for your myspace.
[x] You have a mirror pic.
[x] You listen to bands that most people have never heard of.
[X] You enjoy going to shows.
[ ] You only go to shows for the sake of going to shows, not the music.
[ ] Your hair is multicolored.
[ ] You accessorize your hair with kiddie barrettes and bows.
[x] Fashion is one of the most important things that define you.
[ ] You mosh.
[ ] You often mix vintage with modern.
[ ] Your myspace picture captions are sad lyrics to sad songs.
[ ] All of your friends are scene.
[X] You dont know many of the people on your friends list in person.
[x] You take angled pictures of yourself.
[X] You enjoy photography. Well, I kind of have to considering...
Total = 8

-=--=-Prep-=--=-
[ ] You pop the collar.
[ ] You wont go near the Goths
[X] You own at least one thing from a designer store. I'm sure there's...one thing.
[ ] You are very clean cut. Clean cut?
[ ] You are squeamish.
[ ] People have called you preppy before.
[ ] You never leave the house without putting on cologne/perfume
[ ] You have a lot of money. Oh yes, I a filthy rich!
[ ] You know who LC is.
[ ] You watch shows like The OC, The Real World, The Hills, and Laguna Beach. No, but I...I actually enjoy them when I've caught them... Insert embarrassed emoticon!
[ ] One favorite stores are Abercrombie & Fitch or American Eagle Outfitters. Jesus Christ no.
[ ] You're afraid to set foot into Hot Topic.
[x] (Girls) You carry a purse wherever you go. Because you know...I have a wallet, phone, and car keys at the very least to carry around!
[x] You need to wake up at least an hour before school so you can get ready. Between waking up and leaving the house, I usually require an hour!
[x] (Girls) You do not leave the house without make up. I hardly go anywhere without at least foundation?
[x] You are content overall with how your life is going.
total= 5

-=--=-Band Geek-=--=-
[X] You have played an instrument before.
[x] You still play an instrument. Infrequently.
[x] You are/were in regular Band.
[ ] You are/were in Jazz Band. D< Our band director said that clarinets weren't allowed in jazz band.
[x] You are/were in Marching Band
[ ] You've never dated anybody outside of Band.
[x] Most of your friends are in band. When I was in high school and first year of college, they were.
[x] The band room/band hall is your second home. When I was in high school and first year of college, practically!
[X] You enjoy listening to classical music on occasion.
[ ] You aspire to be a Drum Major.
[ ] You've made out with somebody on a band bus or at a band competition.
[ ] You have trouble getting your non-band friends to go near the band room.
[x] Band is your favorite class.
[x] You have been to band camp.
[ ] You walk in step with all your friends.
[ ] You talk about band constantly.
[ ] You know that American Pie has got it all wrong. No, no, it really was "this one time at band camp"...
[ ] You hate rap music.
[ ] Marching Season is your favorite time of year.
[x] When you go to football games, you don't really pay attention to the game itself.
[ ] Your favorite jokes are band jokes.
[x] You know it's not about the bloods and the crips: it's the brass and the woodwinds. This...this is very true.
Total = 11

-=-Thespian-=-
[X] You have seen a school play.
[ ] You have seen a Broadway musical
[ ] You like to act.
[X] You have participated in a school play.
[ ] You have participated in a play outside of school. Noo.
[ ] You have gone to the Thespian Conference
[ ] You get pissed off when people make that thespian, did you say lesbian? joke.
[ ] You have done tech.
[ ] You know that you cannot touch anybody else's props.
[x] You have played in the pit orchestra for a musical.
[ ] You have been to a cast party. Like the party after a play?
[ ] You are in a thespian troupe.
[ ] You often sing show tunes at the top of your lungs.
[ ] You know who Idina Menzel and Johnathan Larson are.
[ ] At one point in your life, you were obsessed with RENT.
[ ] You do not have a personal bubble.
[ ] You actually understand Shakespeare.
[ ] You know how to put on stage make up.
[ ] You have been a lead.
[ ] You met a lot of your better friends through theatre.
Total = 3

-=-Overachiever-=-
[ ] You participate in a lot of extracurricular activities.
[x] You have a part-time job.
[ ] You have straight As.
[ ] You are in mostly honors/IB/AP classes.
[ ] You do not procrastinate.
[ ] You have scored a 5 on an AP test.
[ ] You do not have very much down time.
[ ] You are very organized.
[ ] You always have a thousand things going on at once.
[ ] You are in a relationship.
[ ] You aspire to get into an Ivy League School. O_O No thanks!
[ ] In your extracurriculars, you hold leadership positions.
[ ] You are/were on Student Council.
[ ] You are/were the class president.
[ ] You are/were a class officer.
[ ] You are/were the Salutatorian for your class.
[ ] You are/were the Valedictorian for your class.
[ ] People have told you that you didn't have a life.
[ ] You are getting/have already received the IB Diploma.
[ ] You cry hysterically when you get anything lower than an A on anything
Total = 1

-=-Slacker-=-
[x] Your grades are slipping. This...last quarter OH GOD.
[X] You always wait until the last minute to do big projects.
[x] You do a lot of things half-assed.
[X] You are an overall procrastinator.
[ ] You tend to do your homework when you're watching TV.
[x] It takes you ages to turn your job applications in.
[ ] You are often late to school/work.
[ ] You don't turn in a lot of your work.
[X] You spend the majority of your time watching TV, the computer or going on Myspace when you could be doing something more productive.
[ ] You sleep in past noon on the weekends and during the summer.
[X] You do not get out of your pajamas unless you have to leave the house.
[ ] You could walk, but you'll just drive.
[ ] You have fallen asleep during class before.
[X] Friends have called you lazy.
[ ] Life is hard when you lose the remote & you have to walk a million miles over to the TV and change the channel.
[ ] When you hang out with your friends, the majority of your time is spent playing video games or doing something where neither of you have to stand up.
[ ] You have eaten an entire pint of ice cream in one sitting.
[ ] You have sat through an entire running marathon of a show before.
Total = 8

-=-Goth-=-
[ ] Your wardrobe consists of mostly black things.
[ ] When you have the money, you shop at Hot Topic.
[X] You think tattoos are hot.
[x] You think odd piercings are hot.
[ ] You don't get along with your parents.
[X] You have/want to dyed/dye your hair an exotic color.
[ ] You've styled your hair in liberty spikes.
[X] Sometimes you ponder the meaning of life and death.
[ ] You like to write dark poetry.
[ ] You are into S&M.
[ ] You have a pair of oversized black pants.
[ ] At one point in your life, you liked Foamy, Happy Bunny, Emily the Strange, and the Happy Tree Friends.
[ ] You listen to grunge.
[ ] You have a messenger bag with buttons up and down the straps.
[ ] You smoke cigarettes.
[ ] You will only date other Goths.
[X] You don't really care what people think about you.
[ ] Overly happy people scare you.
[ ] You like black makeup & nail polish best.
Total = 5

-=-Nerd-=-
[ ] You actually study for tests and quizzes.
[ ] You have straight As.
[x] You haven't had any luck with the opposite sex.
[ ] You are into WoW, Magic Cards, and Halo.
[ ] You overanalyze jokes to the point where they aren't funny anymore.
[ ] Your mom buys your clothes for you. OH GOOD GOD NO, MOM, PLEASE DON'T.
[ ] You actually answer the questions in class.
[x] You sit front row center in all of your classes to get the best learning experience.
[x] You miss school during the summer.
[ ] You wear your pants at your waist.
[ ] You prefer sweatpants to jeans.
[ ] You have a pocket protector in your shirt with pens and a calculator in it.
[ ] You let cute boys/girls take advantage of you & copy your homework in hopes of getting noticed.
[ ] You've noticed some of the spelling and grammar mistakes in this survey.
[ ] People always cheat off your during tests.
[ ] Your parents pack your lunch for you every day.
[X] You wear/should be wearing glasses.
Total = 4

-=-Garage Band Junkie-=-
[x] You play the guitar. I only know "Nietzsche", man.
[ ] You have been in a garage band before.
[ ] You're still in a garage band.
[ ] You think your band is going to make it big someday.
[ ] You play shows almost weekly.
[ ] You play the drum set.
[ ] You sing vocals for a band.
[ ] You write your own lyrics.
[ ] You spend hundreds on amps and microphones.
[x] Your band has a myspace page. *cough* my...compositions
[ ] You have been in multiple garage bands.
[ ] You have changed the name of your band at least twice.
[ ] You have participated in a battle of the bands
[ ] Your band has been signed.
[ ] You have taken guitar classes at school.
[ ] You have played at the same venue multiple times.
[x] You would rather make it big than have to go to college.
[X] You have musical talent.
[ ] You have groupies.
[ ] Youve made t-shirts and other apparel for your band.
Total = 4

-=-Gangstaaa-=-
[ ] You actually are black.
[ ] You know who the bloods and the crips are.
[ ] You wear doo-rags.
[ ] You actually grew up in the ghetto.
[ ] You can freestyle.
[ ] You drive down the street blaring your music.
[ ] Your ride is pimped out with stereo boosts.
[ ] You can break dance.
[ ] You say nigga a lot.
[] You talk too fast for people to understand you.
[x] You are pretty chill with life.
[ ] You wear your jeans oversized and below your ass.
[X] Old school rap is the best. God, I love you MC Hammer.
[x] You know that Tupac will never die. :XD:
[ ] You wear bling No bling.
[ ] You have/want a custom grill.
[ ] You have custom rims on your tires.
[ ] You are actually in a gang.
[ ] You are always big pimpin
Total = 3

-=-Emo-=-
[ ] You often have trouble convincing people that you aren't emo.
[ ] You comb your hair over one of your eyes.
[ ] You flip your hair often.
[X] You have dark-rimmed glasses.
[ ] You have hurt your self on purpose.
[ ] If you're a boy, people often complain about your pants being too tight.
[X] You don't really smile too often.
[ ] You blog often.
[ ] You never smile in pictures.
[ ] You listen to Thursday and/or Sunny Day Real Estate.
[ ] You're too much of a pussy to be a goth.
[ ] You own a lot of band t-shirts.
[ ] You go to a lot of shows.
[ ] You only go for emo/scene boys and girls.
[ ] It doesn't take very much to make you cry.
[ ] You have played all the Emo Games
[x] You have worn black eyeliner before.
[ ] You own a bandana in which you wear in your hair.
[X]You have dark hair.
[ ] you love the emo song
[ ]you say stuff like "i feel like my hearts being riped out" and all
Total = 4

-=-Skatepunk-=-
[ ] You own a skateboard.
[ ] You have been skateboarding since you were in grade school.
[ ] You have gotten many injuries from skateboarding.
[ ] You know that World Industries and Element aren't just clothing lines.
[ ] You have vandalized public property.
[ ] You have TPed/egged somebody's house before.
[ ] You have been yelled at for loitering.
[ ] You have gotten in trouble with the cops.
[ ] You listen to punk rock.
[x] Chicks on skateboards are hot.
[ ] You stick it to the man
[ ] You own skater shoes.
[ ] You watch MTV2, not MTV.
[x] You enjoy crude humor.
[x] Screw school, lets do crazy stuff.
[x] You know that there are other pro skaters out there besides Tony Hawk.
[ ] You pretty much live at the skate park.
[ ] Hygene does not concern you.
[ ] Skater boys are attractive
Total = 4

-=- Metalhead -=-
[ ] Most people are scared of your music
[ ] A lot of the bands you like have violent names/titles/lyrics
[ ] You hate emo kids
[ ] You have gotten kicked out of a public place multiple times before
[ ] Slipknot isn't really metal
[X] You appreciate really good guitarists of any genre, particularly flamenco
[ ] You hate pop and rap
[ ] You spend all your money on music-related stuff
[ ] Scene kids are fun to laugh at
[X] You will become friends with anyone if they like the same bands
[ ] You curse a lot
[ ] You can name at least five subgenres of metal
[ ] You wore black converses before they became emo
[ ] At least one of your favourite bands thinks they're Vikings
[X] You also like classic rock, such as led zeppelin and pink floyd
[x] You have yelled at someone for their taste in music
Total = 4

11 Band Geek
8 Scene & Slacker

That's...somewhat accurate, hah!

"I don't want somebody to love me"

ryutsuki — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 20:52:19 GMT

A beautiful excerpt from St. Stephen's by Sky Gilbert:

I had this teacher at university. He was one of my best fucking teachers—a real old fart, but really smart. Anyway, he said that literature was all about reading something, then living again, then going back to the text. In other words, you have to slip some living in between those books and compare what books say about life to what life actually is.

I'm only on the thirteenth page, but I'm really digging the narrative style <3 So casual and conversational, like you and the narrator are sitting on the back porch and he's telling you a story.

In other news, my internet connection is dreadfully slow at the moment.

I <3 this live cover more than the original 8D

ryutsuki — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 23:51:11 GMT

From awarmplace:
Step 1: Put your iTunes or equivalent on random.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 50 songs that play, no matter how embarassing.
Step 3: Uhh...
Step 4: Strike out the songs when someone guesses correctly.
Step 5: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING!

1. Nice girls, not one with a defect; cellophane shrink-wrapped, so correct
2. Got to get in to the new flow body automatic.
3. (hard to discern spoken opening line) + I look at you and I see micro-university.
4. No junk food, just earthly goods; I ate weird berries in the woods.
5. Hello from inside a shell.
6. paulnolan: "Blowing in the Wind" by Bob Dylan ~~How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man?~~
7. paulnolan: "Octopus' Garden" by the Beatles ~~I'd like to be under the sea in an octopus's garden in the shade.~~
8. I can never forget you, the way you rock the girls.
9. Please don't be shy, I'm not a tough guy.
10. You are the only witness to challenge this existence.
11. And the first one tore a picture of a dead and hanging man who was kissing foreign fishes who flew right out his hand.
12. The language of the frost lobs dead balloons over ruins today
13. Get out the way, mister, with your short sharp tips; no, I won't read your lips right now.
14. vayleen: "Streetlife" by Suede ~~(Check it out!") Street life into the night with the syncopated melodies.~~
15. So here we are tonight, you and me together.
16. When I think of the life that you gave and who are you trying to save...
17. paulnolan: "Killer Queen" by Queen ~~She keeps Moet et Chandon in her pretty cabinet.~~
18. (grrrhhhh.....woof) Travis gets me a beer.
19. Now the sheriff, he road up Sugarloaf Mountain.
20. Well I must have a door in the back of my head where I dump out all that crap so I can just feel solid again.
21. I live my life like I'm reading my own biography every night, writing out my discography.
22. We were shooting at a moutain of dirt - well nothing was broken, nothing was hurt.
23. City bird, haven't you heard?
24. whokee67: "Ruby" by Kaiser Chiefs ~~Let it never be said that romance is dead 'cause there's so little else occupying my head.~~
25. foofighter0234: "Inside Out" by Eve 6 ~~I would swallow my pride, I would choke on the rinds, but the lackthereof would leave me empty inside.~~
26. To resurrect ourselves, we disembowel our saints.
27. paulnolan: "Mr. Brightside" by the Killers ~~Coming out of my cage, and I've been doing just fine.~~
28. Tomorrow is 2014; when I'll be thirty-two, you'll be thirteen.
29. The ribbon 'round your neck against your skin that's pale as bone, it is my favorite thing you've worn.
30. We just want to emote 'til we're dead.
31. It's not enough to hear me say "you won."
32. Look out (lengthy instrumental)! Well I'm sick, I'm so sick, of a lot of people trying to tell me what I can and can't do with my life.
33. Fast food feels fuzzy 'cause it's made from stuff that's skuzzy.
34. vayleen: "Wasting Away" by the Brian Jonestown Massacre ~~The kids today they got nothing to say, they got nothing to say because they taught them that way.~~
35. (Ah-hey hey hey hey, I said oooooooooh yeah!) Won't you come see about me?
36. I went away to see an old friend of mine; his sister came over...she was out of her mind.
37. Here I sit planted in the mud, a mushroom of melted molecules.
38. (on-stage talking in the version live from the Black Cat in D.C.) + You asked me to come down and watch the parade, to march down the street like the Duracell bunny.
39. I'm so glad I have you to think of, to channel all my loving energy into.
40. winterbymorning: "I Would Walk 500 Miles" by the Proclaimers ~~When I wake up, well I know I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you.~~
41. foofighter0234: "Australia" by the Shins ~~Born to multiply, born to gaze into night skies~~
42. whokee67: "You Like Me Too Much" by the Beatles ~~Though you've gone away this morning, you'll back again tonight telling me there'll be no next time if I just don't treat you right.~~
43. What do you want from me now you got me?
44. (introduction) + Move your body like a hairy troll learning to rock 'n roll.
45. vayleen: "Bohemian Like You" by the Dandy Warhols ~~You've got a great car, yeah what's wrong with it today?~~
46. whokee67: "Na Na Na Na Naa!" by Kaiser Chiefs ~~Na na na na naa! Ohhh it does not move me, it does not get me going at all.~~
47. whokee67: "All You Need Is Love" by the Beatles ~~There's nothing you can do that can't be done, nothing you can sing that can't be sung.~~
48. (hard to discern singing) + (spoken) Nickee Coco woke up early one Tuesday morning and decided to go for a walk in the tomato field behind her house.
49. Hey, it's the march of the gay parade! ("How nice!")
50. You are the sun, you are the only one.

"I strip away your heart from here and see what I can find"

ryutsuki — Sun, 30 Dec 2007 07:01:00 GMT

Recently finished Flight of Aquavit: A Russell Quant Novel. Summary is as follows:

At the dead end of a desolate country road, a late night meeting suddenly becomes an ambush. Gay private detective Russell Quant is faced with personal threats he can't ignore, a friend who may be a foe and a cagey client with a treacherous monkey on his back. As Quant trails a menacing blackmailer known only as Loverboy, he finds himself immersed in the midnight world of e-dating and parking lot romance. Lured to New York City, Quant tests his wit, wisdom and wiles from the Old World grandeur of Fifth Avenue to the kaleidoscope world of Broadway's electric nightspots. The fast pace continues when Quant returns to Saskatoon where he grapples with decoys and deceit, realizing that no one is as they appear. Threat turns into deadly reality and the need to uncover the identity of Loverboy becomes increasingly desperate. Quant deftly maneuvres through the twists and turns of a perilous case and a personal life rife with its own mystique and mayhem.

The novel feels roughly like Amuse Bouche except with added personal drama involving Quant's mother's appearance for Christmas and his friend Kelly's stress over combatting breast cancer (her partner being the one that I thought was a man for the first 117 pages of the first book).

Compared to the first book, it's a bit more ridiculous but in a sense it may be more fun. The characters are still as stale and wish-they-existed as they were in Amuse Bouche, but they've become more familiar and...realistic? While still remaining foreign, if that makes any sense whatnsoever.

If you read and enjoyed the first book, you'll probably enjoy this one as well. Actually, all the characters and situations carrying over are reiterated, and really, you don't even have to read Amuse Bouche to know what's going on in the series.

P.S. it's 2004 and Russell Quant still has a dial-up internet connection WHAT

a post of no importance

ryutsuki — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 19:03:41 GMT

I'm actually reading another Russell Quant novel: Flight of Aquavit, and I'm only on the 52nd page...but there's this part where Quant lies to this bored theatre worker, tells her his name is Rick Astly and lists off these Astly songs as "productions" that he, as an actor, has been involved in. However, the following sentence made me think of something:

Although I didn't really expect her to call, I was on a roll and had just thought up one more Rick Astly hit I hadn't used yet.

A...RICK ROLL?

EDIT: ..."so I immediately dialled onto the internet"...
GOOD GOD, HOW OLD IS THIS BOOK?!

A Note of No Importance: I lol'd a little when I saw that #666 on my comprehensive playlist was "Unholy" by the Comedown Band. It's a cool song anyway, so give it a listen :)

"we can start over again"

ryutsuki — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 07:04:44 GMT

Summary for Bafflegab by Stan Rogal is as follows:

Stan Rogal's second novel is the story of one writer's journey through the urban wilderness. Taking the form of a writer's journal, Bafflegab is a gross collection of entries, observations and letters to the editor; a scatological scrapbook of philosphical musings, literary meanderings, quotes, misquotes, contradictions and criticisms and a kaleidoscope of perversions. Bafflegab excavates the meaning of love in the impenetrable city. At the same time, it navigates the crooked path to the heart of culture. In Rogal's trademark unsentimental treatment of raw emotion, his narrator attacks the movement towards a more conservative, less caring society, and the more materialistic, less humanistic individual it breeds.

While interesting at first, Bafflegab quickly becomes tedious and pretentious. Skip it.

"I got a message for you and it's 'dammit'!"

ryutsuki — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 06:08:22 GMT

WOWIO is a thing of beauty - free books for free minds.

I came across and recently finished Amuse Bouche: A Russell Quant Mystery by Anthony Bidulka. The summary for it is as follows:

A gay wedding gone bad. A missing groom. An unsullied reputation at risk. Enter Russell Quant -- cute, gay, and a rookie private detective. With a nose for good wine and bad lies, Quant is off to France on his first big case. From the smudgy streets of Paris, he cajoles and sleuths his way to the pastel-colored promenade of Sanary-sur-Mer. Back in Saskatoon, Quant comes face-to-face with a client who may be the bad guy, a quarry who turns up in the most unexpected place, and a cast of colorful suspects: the vile sister, the best friend, the colleague, the ex-lover, the lawyer, the priest, the snoopy neighbor -- are they involved? Or is someone else lurking in the shadows? As he works through his case, Quant juggles his detective gig with the responsibilities of a personal life full of captivating personalities.

Yes, it is the typical detective novel gayified! And no, no I'm not sorry for downloading or reading it!

Plotwise it's predictable yet full of unforeseeable twists, stale yet full of life. Like the book, it's nothing special but it's entertaining and not a total waste of your time! All the loose ends in the book are eventually tied up (except the fucking messenger lead -- YOU COULD HAVE AT LEAST TRIED TO FOLLOW UP WITH THAT LIKE YOU SAID YOU WOULD), and the ending just made me laugh though it certainly wasn't trying to be funny. I totally thought it would be a predictable yet awesome blasphemous love scene...but it totally wasn't and I ended up mentally shouting "FUCK YOU, QUANT" while laughing even harder... But this is probably my own abnormality, heh.

The characters are typical of a detective novel yet interesting - the type of people you'd never meet in real life, but it would be kind of cool if you did. The titular character, Russell Quant, is tolerable and even likeable but you'll have more fun yelling at him for doing stupid things (like not following up with the messenger's lead in Sanary-sur-Mer; WOULD HAVE MADE YOUR LIFE EASIER, DUMBASS -- AND YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN LAID, TOO). However, never is he severely frustrating, and his presence in the book is an enjoyable one. I'm actually looking forward to download the next in the series of Russell Quant novels just to follow up with the character!

Sure it's ridiculous and laughable at times, its gay content being the only thing separating itself from the rest of the ordinary mystery novels out there, but it still sucks you in (though it takes a few chapters).

VERDICT: A good read if you just want entertainment and a nice way to whittle away the hours!

"if I need some salvation"

ryutsuki — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 20:47:27 GMT

Put into a state of aquatic fear by meyrevived...

OH MY GOD
This one just makes me want to cry.

a tee-why

ryutsuki — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 17:01:05 GMT

ty mazoku85 for the awesome stripes pajamas~~~~~~~~~~~<3
&
ty paulnolan for the awesome tie and uk calendar~~~~~~~~~~~<3
&
ty wrongly_amused for the awesome stripes coat and shirt and plaid hair thing~~~~<3

ryutsuki — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 00:57:31 GMT

I received a gift from mintylim yesterday~<3! I was going to wait until Christmas to open it, but my feet hurt and I've just spent $40 on photo paper that my printer will actually like for once. So I just said "eff that" and opened the gift :D

RED/WHITE BUSTIER PURSE FTW <33333333

Thank you Audrey~<3333333333333333333333333333333333xalot

and now for a meme from omgimsuchadork:

1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
A lot of things.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
My one New Years' resolution this year was to drink more, and my one New Years' resolution next year is to drink more; I kept the first, and I hope to keep the second, too.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes! ceteramaxwell (I'm going to see Alianna when I don't work...which is like.......never ;-;) and aunt-person.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Not that I remember.

5. What states/countries did you visit?
Oklahoma (and the states on the way), New York (layover) and South Carolina :DDD

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
oh uh idk (well I do but...)

7. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
July 4th with mazoku85 and co. + awesome pictures that pretty much started a love of light <3 Oh and October 24th with wrongly_amused, Sports Rock Cafe, and awesome!waitress.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
That photo show during the summer :D

9. What was your biggest failure?
S-school this quarter 8D

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing major.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Plane ticket? Awesome shit? DS/Phantom Hourglass? IDK GUYS.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Joey for telling me he only loved me for Phantom Hourglass.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
lol idk :(

14. Where did most of your money go?
Photo Depot :( School store :( :(

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
LIGHT PICTURES

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
IDK,DK

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
- happier or sadder? Sadder, but I'm not sad.
- thinner or fatter? Thinner?
- richer or poorer? POORER...despite actually having a job.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
lol um idk D:

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
LOL UM IDK

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
With family?

21. How will you be spending New Years?
With alcohol?

22. Did you fall in love in 2007?
In one way or another, probably.

23. How many one-night stands?
I'm going to go with omgimsuchadork's answer here: Oh, hundreds. Thousands. Three a day. By which I mean none.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
The Office

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Not in particular.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
The Shins, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Hives

27. What did you want and get??
A lot of shit :D

28. What did you want and not get?
A lot of shit :D

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
idk D:

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Drank with wrongly_amused; 21

31. What one thing would have made your year?
Less stress and more money.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
Um...D:

34. What kept you sane?
FAMILY/FRIENDS/AIM CHAT?

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Zelda's a celebrity, right? RIGHT?

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
I don't know, it was all mostly bullshit.

37. Who did you miss?
rinova, setospuppyjou, tepiddreamer :(

38. Who was the best new person you met?
(This is irl, guys, because I can remember it better :D) mazoku85 & wrongly_amused

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007?
I just...I don't know D:

40. A quote or song lyric that sums up your year
"our minds on paper gold" (possible mondegreen from "Vegan in Furs" by of Montreal)

I KNOW WHO A CERTAIN SOMEONE'S CHRISTMAS PRESENT IS NOW

ryutsuki — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 03:02:23 GMT

OH SWEET JESUS

no patient demonz plz

ryutsuki — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 18:41:04 GMT

AHHHHH IT'S ALL FOGGY
i was scared to go out :

"nine months is too much is too much for me"

ryutsuki — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 15:00:13 GMT

Hahaha so I got this song from a brief AIM acquaintance and...okay, I was totally fine, digging the song, until I heard the first two words of the song: little boy~

And, well, I lost it, man.

Suit Yourself
Shout Out Louds

Little boy, you got it all so why you complainin’?
Well suit yourself. Nine months of dreaming is too much a nightmare.

Little boy, you only wanna dance with me
And suit yourself. Nine months is too much is too much for me, but

I had it all, but I lost it to you that day.
I should have known when the birds ran from me that day.

Little love, push me to the end of time
And suit yourself, just suit yourself, a little lover’s all I needed, but

I had it all, but I lost it to you that day.
I should have known when the birds ran from me that day.

edit: Youtube Live Version
thanks, V~

"ain't got much to lose"

ryutsuki — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 03:51:31 GMT

From parron:
Comment here, and I shall make you a mix of 5-10 songs ~~(plus cover art!)~~.

Give me a:

-Fandom
-Character/s (or pairing)
-Theme or genre (or both, if you're looking for challenge mode.)

Do fandoms you know for sure I like :D

COMPLETED MIXES
klena: Sheikah
mazoku85: Ilia
wrongly_amused: Linebeck
harpylink234: mpreg!Link
yubberducky: Malon
parron: Leblanc

"don't say that I have changed 'cause man of course I have"

ryutsuki — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 05:37:44 GMT

Which Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past Boss Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Lanmolas

Congrats, you're Lanmolas! You're here one second and gone the next, and just when you've been found, no one can make heads or tails of you! You're impulsive, mischevous, and just an overall tricky bastard. ...Wait, where'd you go...? D:

Lanmolas

67%

Helmasaur King

67%

Blind

33%

Kholdstare

33%

Mothula

33%

Trinexx

33%

Moldorm

33%

Agahnim

33%

Vitreous

Arrghus

Armos Knights

WHAT.
crappiest quiz yet, but stfu anyway xD

WHICH GAME SHOULD I DO NEXT?!

VOLVAGIA = VULVAGINA AND HAS ALWAYS ='d THAT

ryutsuki — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 01:15:04 GMT

Which Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time Boss Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Volvagia

You are Subterranean Lava Dragon Volvagia! Come on, you're somewhat phallic-shaped and you dive into holes...sexual innuendo! And not to mention that NAME! But while you may think of sex a lot, I can't see you helping around the house since you might have to use a hammer (you know, for hammering in nails and opening up wine bottles). You are, however, sensitive and loyal in the end to whomever you attach yourself to. But I think we can both agree that whack-a-mole = worst game ever.

Bongo-Bongo

67%

Volvagia

67%

Morpha

33%

Twinrova

33%

Phantom Ganon

33%

King Dodongo

33%

Barinade

Gohma

SHOULD I CONTINUE WITH THE ZELDA BOSS QUIZZES? xD

>:3

ryutsuki — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 03:39:48 GMT

Which Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess Boss Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Morpheel

You're Twilit Aquatic Morpheel! You're always looking forward and never back, but just remember to shimmy yourself around once in a while lest you be stabbed repeatedly in the eye by a guy in a dress.

Morpheel

67%

Blizzeta

67%

Argorok

67%

Zant

33%

Stallord

33%

Fyrus

33%

Diababa

33%

Armogohma

YEAH THAT'S RIGHT. I'M A SCARY M'F'ER, Y'ALL.
(spread quiz, plz, like a cold)
lol imma do other games later :3

UNFINISHED: Started over a year ago I probably will finish this eventually, but I'm posting anyway

ryutsuki — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 00:17:58 GMT

The Truth About Sheik
PART ONE: or, Sheik Be A Lady To-night~!

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time was an extraordinary milestone in the Legend of Zelda series. Not only did it revolutionize gameplay in a way not seen since A Link to the Past, but it introduced new characters that would become beloved fan favorites. Characters like Malon and the Happy Mask Salesman played a part in subsequent games, but there was one character in particular that never made it past Ocarina of Time despite the fact that this character captured the hearts and imaginations of countless fans, inspired thousands of fanworks, and even a few flame wars: Sheik.

With such popularity, why did this character, the lonewolf minstrel of a dying race, never reappear in later games? The answer lies within who Sheik is, and that answer varies depending on who you ask.

For the sake of impartiality, I decided to ask Googlism. As the ever-impartial data-collection site it is, it told me exactly who and what Sheik was:

sheik is zelda
sheik is not zelda
sheik is a girl
sheik is not zelda and will never be zelda

Not to be confined to one aspect of Sheik's being, it gathered more information on Sheik:

sheik is one of the best chars
sheik is not really mine
sheik is property of nintendo
sheik is a new jersey native that grew up in south carolina
sheik is here to help
sheik is in the market for australian clothes to fill his latest retail venture
sheik is merely a magic character
sheik is closed now because there were no family members who wanted to carry on the business after the owner died
sheik is reserved
sheik is what thought is to us
sheik is not your typical musician
sheik is entertaining in the casino
sheik is not going anywhere
sheik is another new addition to ssbm
sheik is eating lunch
sheik is so comfortable working with dead lyricists that he once devoted a concert to replicating "pink moon
sheik is only one of many new characters in zelda

Then I decided to ask Google who and what it thought Sheik was. Unfortunately, Google didn't tell me anything specific but instead directed me to fans who eagerly shared their opinions.

A Deathmatch between Link and Sheik, presented by Nintendo Land, told me who they thought Sheik was: When Zelda puts on this disguise she stops being the timid and gentle princess that we all know her as. Instead another part of her comes to show. The side of her as a well trained quite capable fighter. And although it is arguable that she lacks the battling experince that Link's got she has the powerful Triforce of Wisdom to guide her!
Fans think that Sheik is Zelda and "a well trained quite capable fighter".

Wikipedia has quite a bit on our friend Sheik: Sheik plays the harp and teaches Link new songs to help him on his quest. When Link arrives at the Temple of Time near the end of the game, Sheik uses the Triforce of Wisdom and reverts to Zelda. It is assumed, in this case, that she uses her magical skills (as a Sage) to change her skin tone, hair length, and eye color, and presumably her voice, as well as her build and her clothing. She may also change her gender.
The game is unclear about the true nature and origin of Sheik. Zelda passes herself off as the male Sheik, which perhaps raises issues of gender identity in the Zelda series, something unusual for a Nintendo title. One of the Gossip Stones scattered around Hyrule in Ocarina of Time describes her royal highness as a tomboy.
In the Ocarina of Time manga, author Himekawa Akira depicted Zelda requesting her true identity be sealed. Impa transforms her into a male for her protection, then teaches him the way of the Sheikah. As a result, Sheik’s sex and gender are controversial topics amongst fans of the franchise, and it is a popular device in Legend of Zelda fan-fiction to use both characters as separate entities.
As evinced by the character's tendency to disappear using deku nuts, as well as her overall motif in Super Smash Brothers Melee, Sheik’s movements and design are very ninja- or kunoichi -like. This character has proven to be very popular amongst the series' fans, and many highly anticipate any kind of new appearance by Sheik in future installments of the series.
Fans think that Sheik is a he is a she is Zelda is a she is a he is a...ninja.

TSA of The Hylia writes, surprisingly: The character of Sheik was very masculine, very athletic and a highly skilled master of martial arts.
Fans think that Sheik is Zelda and "a highly skilled master of martial arts".

Jedi Master Mario has this to say in a forum: Yes, Sheik and Zelda are the same, but I disagree with Sheik being a girl. Zelda uses MAGIC to transform into Sheik, so this mean Zelda, although Feminine on the inside, can take the form of a man on the outside. She has all other abilities and feelings on the inside. Because in SSBM when she attacks, she sounds like a woman trying to sound like a man. And that still doesn't say Sheik is a woman. Any girl can sound like a guy, and any guy can sound like a girl. It's been proven, and Nintendo wants to make things as logical and magical as possible...
Fatgoron enlightens us with: There is no way in hell that is (physically) a woman.
In another forum, .HERO_OF_TIME. tells us: Sheik is a guy. Get over it.
Fans think that Sheik is Zelda is a hermaphrodite.

Insider IGN had this to say about Sheik: It's a girl. No wait, it's a boy...
A sentiment of the majority of the fandom, I believe.

And then, well, there's sheikxlink_fc and zelda_yaoi (I love you guys <3)

To recap, this is what the fandom thinks that Sheik is: Zelda, a girl, a boy, a hermaphrodite, and a highly skilled fighter.

Now, seeing as Ocarina of Time has been out since 1998, and no one has yet to come up with any concrete and conclusive evidence concerning Sheik's gender, identity, and sexuality, it's safe to assume that The Truth About Sheik will not be about those subjects.

However, there's something else that fans think about Sheik. As Nintendo Land, TSA of The Hylia, and Wikipedia respectively wrote, Sheik is "a well trained quite capable fighter", "a highly skilled master of martial arts", and his "movements and design are very ninja- or kunoichi-like". It's something that goes with what I've heard over and over again (and even thought myself quite often), that Sheik quite frankly kicks ass.

So, to finally get to the point of this essay, The Truth About Sheik will explore the ass-kickery, the Deku Nuts, and the music...of Sheik.

The Truth About Sheik
PART TWO: or, Oh Snap! I Just Got Owned By Bongo-Bongo!

To summarize PART ONE, fans believe that Sheik is Zelda, Sheik is not Zelda, and despite one of the former points Sheik kicks ass. PART TWO will explore all of the above points that exclude the first and second ones. In short, we'll be ignoring the fact that Sheik is Zelda and Sheik is not Zelda and instead concentrate on other aspects of his or her character. For the sake of simplicity, I will refer to Sheik as a "he".

It's been ages since I've played Ocarina of Time in full, and I'll be the first to admit that what I consider to be "facts" about the game may simply be fanon, especially concerning Sheik. After all, we all think he's "a well trained quite capable fighter" (according to Nintendo Land), "a highly skilled master of martial arts" (as written by TSA of The Hylia), and that his "movements and design are very ninja or kunoichi-like" (from Wikipedia). Is all this true?, I asked myself as I read yet another piece of fan literature that described Sheik as having all these abilities. Of course it is, I told myself, Zelda was so cool and strong when she was Sheik!. But then I remembered that it had been so long since I've touched the game... Well, maybe Sheik isn't all that.

To really get an objective, unbiased opinion of Sheik, I had to play through the entire game, from beginning to end, noting what Sheik does and what others say about him.

We first meet Sheik at the Temple of Time after Link wakes up from seven years in the Sacred Realm. Link draws his sword at this stranger (the first person he's seen since Rauru), but Sheik does nothing, standing at the Master Sword's pedestal almost passively. He introduces himself and tells of the legend passed down by the Sheikah concerning the Hero of Time and the Sages. Then he tells Link that a girl he knows in the forest is a Sage who cannot hear her awakening call, and it is up to Link to awaken her after he first retrieves something from Kakariko Village. Sheik didn't seem too ninja-like to me, and he seemed so short and lithe compared to Link's new size. He stood with his arms crossed, head tilted slightly to the left as he talked. And that's it: he just talked. This is just the introduction to Sheik, however; when he begins to teach Link melodies, we learn more about this mysterious character.

Minuet of Forest
The next time we meet Sheik is in the Sacred Forest Meadow. He drops from a place unknown and carries on about time before teaching Link the Minuet of Forest. It was at this time that I decided to experiment. Perhaps if Link messed up the song so many times, Sheik would give up and leave? After five minutes of constantly messing up, it didn't seem like Sheik was going anywhere. So Sheik's song-teaching is a vital part of the game that cannot be skipped, unlike getting Epona. After teaching Link the song, Sheik tells him with Zelda's characteristic use of ellipses that he'd see Link again and vanished in the flash of a deku nut.

That particular form of escape may or may not involve martial arts - I don't know since I've never vanished in the flash of a deku nut - but we do know from that little display that Sheik is at least very agile. But aside from proving his agility (or creative use of magic), what did our Survivor of the Sheikah do? He talked and played the harp.

Bolero of Fire
We meet Sheik again in Death Mountain Crator, a place so hot that Link has to equip a heat- resistant tunic to merely survive one minute in. Yeah, I don't know how Sheik got in there. He appears at the other end of a bridge, talking of "the passion of friendship" blossoming "into a righteous power" and how "through it," Link "will know which way to go..." Perhaps that's another credit to Sheik: his way with words. Then he teaches the Bolero of Fire before telling Link he'll see him again - complete with Zelda-characteristic ellipses. Link reaches out to him, but there's a random fire that comes between them, and Sheik once again vanishes with the Deku Nut.

There's actually a lot in this Bolero of Fire scene that I didn't pick up on my first time through the game, but that "a lot" depends on if you believe Sheik is Zelda or not. But again, PART TWO will not be debating that. We're concentrating on Sheik's ninjaness or lackthereof, remember? In this scene, Sheik didn't display a lot of skill in anything except in his ability to have a jam session with Link. I think it's safe to say at this point that we know Sheik is a capable harpist with a penchant for grand and vague speeches. There's something else I want to point out, though: Sheik being there in the first place. (In hindsight, I should have taken the Goron Tunic off before meeting Sheik to see if Link would spontaneously combust in mid-song.) Now, Sheik had to have been in the crator for more than a minute. He didn't have too much to say though it wasn't rushed, and the jam session seemed nice and leisurely. Clearly, Sheik was not worried about the infamous Death Mountain Crator time limit. Perhaps this is because Sheikah blood is somehow adaptable to extreme heat (this is a credit to the "Sheik is not Zelda" side)? Or perhaps something as strong as Triforce magic works in the same manner as the Goron Tunic (this is a credit to the "Sheik is Zelda" side)? But most likely the game developers didn't really think too much on this subject so we can just say that Sheik's awesomeness protects him from the heat (everybody wins!). So Sheik: talked, played the harp, and BROKE DEATH MOUNTAIN CRATOR TIME LIMIT LAWS. Somebody call the gaming police because Sheik is just full of surprises.

Serenade of Water
Scene 1
In the depths of the Ice Cavern, Link meets Sheik once again. Let's talk about that opening sequence before Sheik makes his greeting looking wide-eyed and innocent. After acquiring the Iron Boots, Link turns around and to his shock Sheik is right there by the door. I think it's rather obvious that stealth is one of Sheik's talents if he is able to surprise even the Hero of Time. But moving on, Link draws closer as Sheik tells him that the Zoras are sealed under the thick ice sheet with the exception of Ruto who he rescued from under the ice. So far all Sheik has done is talk, play the harp, and confuse us as to how he manages to be one step ahead of Link, but this is the first instance of Sheik actually Doing Something, even if it's not something we see in the game. There's not much said about it, though, so we can only speculate about how the rescue was. After informing Link about how Morpha is the source of the ice curse, he waxes lyrical about growth, looking a bit masculine in the process, before teaching my personal favorite ocarina song. Then Sheik disappears as always, but there's something interesting about it this time.

If you've forgotten, they meet inside the Ice Cavern in a contained room with gorgeous lighting, ceiling, and wall effects. Link runs toward him, but, well, poof! Sheik's gone. BUT TO WHERE? In other deku flash escapes, it was always in a reasonably open area...but this is a contained room. This leads us to believe that Sheik either has the ability of extreme stealth, cameleon-like tendencies, the ability to teleport, or is just really that good. I'm leaning towards that last one since we've seen considerable evidence that Sheik is just amazing when it comes to entering and exiting places. Man, I wish I could make entrances and exits like him. All of it hints towards, though, a ninja-like background or training...or the Triforce of Wisdom, depending on who you think Sheik is and is not. So, recap of this scene: Sheik talked, played the harp, saved Princess Ruto, and made my mind spin thinking of how he got out of there.

Scene 2
After the horror of completing the Water Temple, we next see Sheik when he greets Link on the island over the temple. Dawn comes strongly, the lake fills back up... It's a nice day after a nightmare. Call me mushy, but this is a cute scene, even if Sheik is Zelda or Sheik is not Zelda. Sheik appears and announces that the evil is vanishing from the lake, even adding a rare note of explanation: "Link, you did it!" Now, maybe this is just me, but that exclamation is a little odd and telling. After the creepy Forest Temple (and Link's first major trial) did Sheik stop by to offer his congratulations and a "!"? How about after saving the Goron race and vanquishing Volvagia? The Water Temple is the only one in the game where you meet Sheik both before and after completing it. Is Sheik perhaps...concerned about the temple itself (it is considered one of the most difficult ones, after all) or maybe Princess Ruto? What about Lake Hylia itself? Or Link? I won't pretend to have an answer, but it's interesting to speculate about Sheik's motives. Of course, that ties in with the issue of Sheik's identity and that's not what The Truth About Sheik is about. So we'll move on. (P.S., he says all that before Link even comes back from the Chamber of the Sages, the weirdo...) Sheik appears to be on the masculine side in this scene even as his speech departs from its usual wise and omniscient tone in favor of something more sappy and energetic. It's a favorite scene for most Link/Sheik fans for a reason, you know. But I digress! While Link surveys Lake Hylia, Sheik takes his leave without use of the deku nut for once. Link notices and looks all around for him, and Sheik's hiding place on top of the tall and slashed tree is revealed only to the player. He dives from there into the Lake.

As I've written before, this is a very telling scene. In addition to things this essay isn't concerned with, it also provides informaton on the things that are relevant to us. Martial artists can do pretty sweet and awesome things with their bodies. Perhaps a training in that granted Sheik the ability to jump impossibly high with grace. That or he just climbed really fast. Also, the scene tells us that Sheik can dive from great heights and swim (well, we hope he can swim). This suggests agility, grace, and more physical training. Furthermore, he does all this without a sound. That's called talent ladies and gentlemen, and Sheik seems to be full of it. So Sheik: talks, proves athleticism and grace, and suggests a training in martial arts. He didn't break our brains one bit this time, and that's pretty sweet if you ask me.

Nocturne of Shadow
Let me set the scene for what is one of my favorite sequences of the game. After defeating the Water Temple, Link returns to Kakariko Village to find everything aflame. Sheik stands in front of the well of three features (Dark! Narrow! Scary!), giving it a dangerous gaze as he warns Link to get back. Link doesn't budge and the well's posts fly off. Sheik gets into a ninjalike stance as a form of nothingness comes from out of the well, grabs him, and flails him around like a paper doll as he lets out muted and young cries. He lands at the base of the stairs in front of the well, and Link runs up to him. The nothingness circles around before coming to Link who bravely stands to defy it. Sheik, still on the ground behind Link, reaches his hand out as if to save Link (it seems to be the only thing he can do since He's Fallen And He Can't Get Up), but the nothingness knocks our Hero unconscious. He awakens to Sheik kneeling over him. Eventually Sheik says, "Looks like you're coming around..." (which, by the way, was made into a brilliant icon by cutting off the 'around...' bit). As he did during the second Serenade of Water scene, Sheik abandons his usually stoic and vague speech patterns in favor of exclamation marks and directness as he tells Link that the evil shadow spirit Bongo Bongo has been released. He tells of Impa sealing the spirit in the bottom of the well (and I have no idea why because wouldn't you think it would have affected Kakariko's drinking water?). Then Sheik tells us, "But the force of the evil spirit got so strong, the seal of the well broke, and it escaped into the world!!" Count that. Not one exclamation mark, no, but two. Two exclamation marks from Sheik! By Goddesses, this ~~love~~ must be serious! Sheik seems rather masculine as he continues to speculate that Impa went to the Shadow Temple to seal Bongo Bongo yet again. He requests that Link save her, and, with more exclamation marks, tells us directly for perhaps the first time the identity of one of the Sages (which is, in this case, Impa). Then he states that the only thing he can do for Link is to teach him the Nocturne of Shadow which will teleport him to the Shadow Temple's entrance. To further clarify how serious this and the song is, I will directly quote Sheik: "This is the melody that will draw you into the infinite darkness that absorbs even time... Listen to this, the Nocturne of Shadow!!" That twice, ladies and gentlemen, twice that the double exclamation marks were used. Sheik's losing major cool points here. And then, for the fourth time, he pulls a harp out of his ass (don't call me vulgar, that's what it looks like!). After the strange melody has been taught, Sheik exclaims that he will take care of the village. Then, sounding oddly effeminate, he disappears via deku nut. After he said he'd take care of the village. Huh.

Anyway, it's clear that Sheik has something personal involved in what's happening in Kakariko Village with the Shadow Temple and all, and that something is Impa. I believe this to be true even if Sheik is Zelda or Sheik is not Zelda. But I'm sure you can infer all that and more by reading my extensive summary on your own. What we're primarily concerned with is the little stance Sheik took before being owned by Bongo Bongo. Whether it was an offensive or defensive pose, I don't know, but I do know that it certainly seemed to suggest some kind of martial arts training. Not that Sheik, you know, did anything with it, but it was pretty. I think that's proving to be the story of Sheik's life. That and he sounds like a girl in this scene while looking masculine. Transsexual? Hermaphrodite? Zelda? The world will never know, but at least he looks like a ninja while doing so. In this scene, what has Sheik done? He's revealed a personal investment in the situation, a training in martial arts, song- teaching abilities (and taps his foot while doing so), and a willingness to work alongside the villagers in an effort to rebuild Kakariko. Or not if he's just gonna stealthily do it on his own. But getting to the point of this essay, while Sheik reveals that he can pose like a martial artist, we don't actually get to see any action from him. This could be explained by how the malicious spirit was invisible at the time and Sheik couldn't exactly see it coming, much like what happened with Link, but the point remains the same. Besides, what did he think he was going to do against Bongo Bongo - bitchslap some evil air?

Prelude of Light
My first time playing through Ocarina of Time way back in 1998, I actually acquired this song right after the Forest Temple because I thought being an adult was too scary, but for the sake of doing things in a semi-logical order, I decided this time to wait until it was necessary to go back in time. That said, venturing into the well required Link to be a child. By the way, have you ever stood right in front of the Hallway of Time and looked with the ^C? There's a kind of shadow that looks like the Master Sword, yet there's no Master Sword in the pedestal. Yet. Anyway, it was off to meet Sheik yet again. Although I didn't see him before with my lovely first-person view, he's there, standing beside the pedestal instead of blocking Link's way in front. He gives Link this spiel telling him how he'll have to free Sages on the mountain, under water, and through time, which really makes me wonder if the correct time to learn the Prelude of Light really is directly after the Forest Temple. I guess Nintendo figured everyone would be like me that first time around, thinking adulthood was too scary. He gives Link instructions for using the Pedestal of Time before teaching him the song. They play, and a weird green spaceship light flickers in the corner. Watch Sheik as he plays it, by the way. It's kind of funny. But back to the point. He's off in the flash of a deku nut, and that's the end of the scene.

It's true, Sheik doesn't need to do much this time. In fact, he barely gives one of his usual philosophical and vague speeches. It's the bare basics with this scene, and to spell it out, Sheik just plays his harp. But then he doesn't. You may not have noticed, but there's something peculiar about his escape this time. Instead of the regular flash and quick sound of the deku nut, there's an extended orange flash and a high pitched sound that's nearly identical to that of the Spiritual Stones on the altar. Now, I'm not sure of implications of this and how it relates to Sheik's ninjaness or lackthereof, but it's certainly interesting to note. Maybe Sheik used the Deku Nut of Time.

Requiem of Spirit, the ending, and PART THREE are woefully unwritten and will remain so for a while. But it's nice reference information if you're ever confused on what Sheik does during those cut-scenes.

"I forget who I am"

ryutsuki — Sun, 25 Nov 2007 23:55:09 GMT

I finished The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess a long time ago and had written this up shortly thereafter, thinking the end was pretty interesting. However, for some reason or another I never posted it. So better late than never!

Ganondorf
Zant and Ganondorf seemed to have a pretty symbiotic relationship. After the fight with Zant, he mentions that Ganondorf would always revive him, and I only assume that the reverse is true. It's like those Shadow Warrior beast things that appeared out of portals. You had to kill them all at once or else the last one standing would revive the rest. I think the same thing applies to Ganondorf and Zant. Zant survived the fight with Link and even when Midna goes psycho on him with her newly tapped power of her ancestors.

Zant's a pretty interesting character. He was so cool and menacing before you fought him in the Palace of Twilight where his character turned to a miffed child prone to immature tantrums. He found Ganondorf in a time of need, making him out to be some kind of god as Ganondorf shared his power in order to gain revenge on the world of the light. Ganondorf says something about how their desires would be shared as he propositions Zant. So you see the connection, don't you?

When Link won the battle against Ganondorf, he stood upright with the Master Sword through him for a long time. Then eventually we saw a short clip of Zant...snapping his neck. The same then happened to Ganondorf... If Zant and Ganondorf shared the type of relationship that the Shadow Warrior beast things did, then at that moment it was up to Zant to revive Ganondorf. But he didn't. The Shadow Warriors have to die all at once (or, at least, the last two) in order to really be defeated. And I think that's what happened then. Ganondorf was dying, so what did Zant do? He killed Ganondorf (we see his eyes go white after his neck snaps). And how did he do that? By killing himself.

But Sarah (I do say these things to myself sometimes), this is a Zelda game! These things just don't happen! That would be unprecedented! Yeah, well, you're right. It's possible that Zant killed Ganondorf without killing himself. Then again, it's subtle, but the signs point to a possible murder-suicide.

After you defeat Zant in the Palace of Twilight, he sits in his throne, slumped, telling Midna (and Link) that Ganondorf will always revive him. Then, in what seemed like a fit of anger, Midna, well...I don't know what she does with her hair but it was something scary . So Zant witnesses firsthand what was only a fraction of Midna's true power.

So back to Ganondorf dying. He's, well, dying, and if he and Zant really do have that sort of symbiotic connection, Zant's got a decision to make: revive Ganondorf or don't revive Ganondorf? I think Zant knows that with the kind of power Midna's tapped into, he doesn't stand a chance at regaining the throne, with or without Ganondorf. And perhaps he also realizes that his god was only using him to fuck up Hyrule. It kind of seems like a hopeless situation, at least on his end, doesn't it? And from his display before you fight him in the Palace of Twilight, it's apparent that Zant's true personality (now separate from Ganondorf's influence as G-dawg inhabits the light world now and Zant the twilight) is childish, moody, and perhaps unstable.

But I think I've written more about Ganondorf and Zant than I intended...

Link
Near the end of the game, it's relatively obvious that Link and Midna share a special connection, whether it's merely friendship or perhaps more. At the Mirror Chamber, Midna in- her-true-form tells Zelda (and Link) that as long as the mirror exists, they'll always be able to see each other. Then she sheds a golden tear and promptly destroys the mirror with said tear before stepping into the portal to the Twilight one last time. Tragic? Most definitely, especially with that curious "I..." Midna never finishes what she was saying, but it certainly seemed to me like the beginning of a confession.

At the end of Ocarina of Time, we saw Navi depart from Link's side. In the ending scene, we later saw him go back to Zelda. Then, about two years later, we found our popular hero again in the woods with Epona, searching for a lost friend - the friend almost unanimously assumed to be Navi.

So perhaps that's what happens with our oft-forgotten hero (seriously, that final battle, did Zelda and Ganondorf even know he was there?). Maybe he goes to see Zelda, help things go back to normal, guard her and the castle. Or what if he, like the hero before him, sets out to find his lost partner? Maybe he finds a way back to the Twilight Realm, maybe he doesn't. Either way he's leaving Ordon.

best timeline ever, guys!!!!!!!!!!!1one

ryutsuki — Sun, 25 Nov 2007 23:39:58 GMT

XD This is a crazyass single-timeline attempt made over a year ago, and I've finally accepted today that I will never finish this so I'm pasting it here to clear out the file. It's basically all there, though, if not "formally" then in notes.

Let's create some crazyass single-timeline theories involving TP for fun! Here I goooo~

TWW > TP > ALttP > "4SA" > OoS/OoA > LoZ > AoL > OoT > MM > TMC > LA

I start the timeline with TWW, and before you all get in a tizzy with OH THE BACKSTORY, THE BACKSTORY, allow me to explain. The backstory, presumably OoT in non-crazyass timelines, is told at the beginning of WW, and this is the clearest retelling of it in the game. When it's mentioned in-game, the people of WW think of it as a legend and they're kind of fuzzy on it. They don't even know what the Triforce is, although its symbol is still present. They call it the Triumph Forks which shows just how distorted legends can become, especially when they're passed down orally.

So if TWW is at the BEGINNING of the timeline, what is this legend they speak of, then? Well, dear hearts, we'll get to that later. For now just have it in your little heads that TWW is at the beginning and time is not linear. Now, in TWW, there is the legendary of Hero of Time the King of Red Lions, Great Deku Tree, and Jabun-Jabun speak of, and the connection between TWW and OoT is obvious, with OoT occurring prior to TWW.

"But then how the hell is it that you have OoT AFTER TWW? You even state so yourself that OoT is BEFORE TWW, yet in the timeline it's after. WTF?", you might say. And to answer you, I'll say, "STFU AND SIT YOUR ASS DOWN WE'LL GET TO IT LATER." After sitting your ass down and stfu-ing, you might want to be a smart-ass and tell me something like "you're just typing this paragraph to mentally stall explaining how OoT comes AFTER TWW when you've even said so yourself that it doesn't! you're probably just pulling this all out of your ass as I read and you don't have an answer, DO YOU?" To which I'll reply, "THAT'S IT TIMELINE DISCUSSION'S OVER GTFO"

But when I tell you to GTFO, I don't really mean GTFO. I say that lovingly in the same way that I say that TWW comes before OoT. WHICH I'LL EXPLAIN LATER.

Perhaps it will be easier for us both if I move on to TP and relate it to TWW retrospectively.

TP begins when a crazy blanket of Twilight invades Hyrule and the young rancher Link is literally pulled into it after the King of Fugly Creatures That Ride Boars randomly storms a small, seemingly backwater little village that, really, no one should care about. And yet the King of Fugly Creatures That Ride Boars (heretoafter known as "KoFCTRB") does. Why? Is it because he was taking orders from Zant or Ganondorf. Perhaps. But maybe there's a stronger power in the picture. Perhaps this power is the one that Shad speaks of...the, yes, THE OOCCA, creators of the Hylian.

So the oocca created the Hylians in a new legend created by TP. How do you like that? Let's take that as canon fact here. The oocca were created by the Goddesses who also created the demi-gods of wind, as shown in TWW, the Wind Fish (who created Koholint), and the Great Deku Tree (who created the Kokiri). So the Oocca created the Hylians. How do you like them apples, kids? Your favorite characters were created by weirdass chicken things. Go figure.

The Oocca reside in the high City in the Sky, but when I looked up in the sky, I sure as hell couldn't see a city. Now, maybe the "sky" is a metaphorical place. Maybe this "sky" is actually a different realm. A more, well, divine realm. It happened in TWW, you know. Don't believe that Hyrule (which isn't Hyrule in this timeline of ours, but then again it is) is literally under the sea. It's simply in another realm which is accessed by the ocean since, as legend had it, the goddesses flooded the world.

So we've got three separate physical realms that both coexist and are entirely separate. We've got the SKY realm where the Oocca, divine Sky People, and other such "higher powers" exist. Then we've got the LAND realm, the "new" Hyrule which is really just the same Hyrule that it's always been, created as time progressed and the Koroks planted more forest that solidified the ground into one land mass. Then there's a third realm, the UNDERWATER realm which isn't really underwater, but since we've got the "land" and "sky" realms, it's easy to differentiate this one as the "underwater" realm since Hyrule, Ganondorf, and the Master Sword were "sealed" underwater (metaphorically) at the end of TWW.

Let us say that this UNDERWATER realm simply isn't the "old" (which is actually the newer -- but we'll get into that much later) Hyrule sealed away...but the realm in which the Triforce resides. Instead of "underwater", it would be more accurate to say that this is the realm of the TRIFORCE. However, we'll stick with "underwater" for now.

I can't say how much time is needed for a huge landmass to form from tiny islands, so I'll just say that TP occurred a hell of a long time after TWW, which is the very beginning of our timeline, but not the beginning of time.

So if Link visited the SKY realm and had his adventures in the LAND realm (which is devoid of the Triforce's name which probably carries over from the fact that those crazy islanders kept calling it the "Triumph Forks"), what of the UNDERWATER realm? Was it simply MIA? No, no, I think Link visited that one as well...

notes:

TWW (land) > TP (land) > ALttP (LW land DW underwater -- DW underwater still exists but Ganondorf is banished from it) > "4SA" (lw underwater, dw land) > OoS/OoA (underwater, Holodrum and Labrynna separate countries in the same world as Hyrule on LAND) > LoZ (underwater) > AoL (underwater) > OoT (SKY-scene which makes what happened on LAND a MEMORY, sacred realm underwater) > MM (ACID TRIP) > TMC (MERGE) > LA (MERGE, the memory of land sky water are Wind Fish's dream)

the Oocca were created by the goddesses and they inhabited a separate realm (designated as the SKY realm for our clearer understanding) from the people that descend from the Oocca -- meaning the Oocca more or less created the Hylians. in Oot, Zelda and Link ascend to the SKY realm (LOL clouds, get it) and she plays the melody that sends Link back into time. But he doesn't get sent back directly to the point where we traditionally think in OoT. Time more or less "restarts" again in the SKY realm, and because of this the oocca were "created" with this MEMORY of a legend naturally installed in their brains, and they pass it on to the people they create. That's how the HoT legend came about in TWW even though OoT comes after.

so there are various "higher beings" in Hyrule like Ganon (which is an ancient evil and separate from Ganondorf, his human host), Vaati (lesser ancient evil as well), the Wind Fish, and maybe the Great Deku Tree

They were, like the Oocca, created with this MEMORY of what happened in OoT. The Hylians were not created with this memory. Instead, the oocca passed down this MEMORY as "legend" to them. That's why the "legend" of the Hero of Time in TWW is real to them from their ancestors, but heavily distorted (Triumph Forks!) from time.

ganondorf, in the beginning of time, was born with the MEMORY of his "past life" (future life) in OoT AND the Triforce of Power -- specifically created FROM this memory (he retains this memory from the demon Ganon). Also from this memory, Zelda's lineage is created to care for the Triforce of Wisdom and Link's lineage is created to house the latent Triforce of Courage, which only surfaces when there is danger (seeing as it's, you know, COURAGE -- wisdom and power remain even in peace but courage only comes out when there is danger) Carrying out his "past life", Ganondorf becomes a great sorceror and seeks out the remaining Triforce pieces.

in the beginning of time before TWW, the master sword is fashioned by the ccp out of the MEMORY. its power is maintained by the fado and laruto. Ganondorf, knowing of the Master Sword from his MEMORY, seeks to stop it and kills the sages.

end of TWW, triforce is sealed in the Hyrule underwater - underwater becomes the home of the triforce, or, the golden land/dark world

in tp the sages/king of hyrule( & red lions) seal ganondorf in the twilight realm which is the underwater -- an alternate retelling of TWW's end -- simultaneous happening of MEMORY of OoT's end -- ganondorf ends up on the land because of the twilight spreading to Hyrule & Zant

tp is set in TWW's new world on land

when zant kills ganondorf, the triforce of power bestowed to ganondorf by GANON (his "god" - really a demon created in the beginning of time from the MEMORY of Ganondorf's physical corruption by the Triforce of Power in OoT - which he uses) is no longer present in ganondorf's body and he dies. GANON cannot exist on the LAND realm anymore so he is banished to the UNDERWATER realm which is the Twilight Realm/Golden Land/Dark World. Power, Wisdom, and Courage do not exist together in the LAND realm anymore which means the threat is over.

book of mudora is the original MEMORY passed on to the hylians by the ccp when they created them in written form.

the dark world (underwater) still exists after Link defeats Ganon -- Ganon is banished to the LAND while the Triforce remains in the DW which is "identical" to LW (land), bearing no effects of Ganon's terror while LW still feels effects, especially since Ganon now inhabits that realm. Link and the Triforce are in the DW/underwater which is identical to Hyrule. underwater becomes the new light world with the Triforce as the original lw on land becomes the "new dark world". dark world in 4sa is the "new dark world"

like ganon, vaati was originally an ancient demon who wreaked havoc on the world in the BEGINNING. Insert TMC backstory. The Goddesses sealed Vaati away, making his seal underwater where the Triforce was for safety while the demon itself resided powerless on LAND.
after alttp demon vaati is encountered by demon ganon on DW/LAND where he is sealed but the seal itself is in LW/Underwater. since vaati has a physical connection to the land of the triforce, ganon fashions dark link from his connection with Link in the dark world LAND. the pathway between the worlds opens further and ganon is able to steal the trident of power from the original dark world UNDERWATER which is now the light world. ganon is "defeated" on LAND by Link which really just makes his energy extraordinarily weak and peace returns to both LAND and UNDERWATER. dig?

OoS/OoA -- on LAND, Twinrova works to revive the ancient demon ganondorf, as mentioned in the Book of Mudora. Triforce calls to Link from UNDERWATER to halt the revival. The revival is unsuccessful, Link "defeats" Ganon again

a LONG time later, Ganon is eventually revived again UNDERWATER by an unknown force. The Triforce physically splits. LoZ happens and then AoL happens underwater. Ganon fails to be revived by his followers underwater but when he is revived again by twinrova on LAND with the host of a male Gerudo named Ganondorf, the Triforce makes underwater into the sacred realm with the only link between land and water being the master sword.

when ganon is later resurrected in the form of ganondorf finally by Twinrova, he loses his MEMORY of the legend/"past life" but Twinrova fills him with tales of the Triforce from the Book of Mudora.

in oot, zelda sends Link back in time in the SKY realm which is the original realm of the creepycuccopeople who created the people before TWW. when she sends him back in time, time starts all over again "rewriting" what happened before though it's the same thing that would have happened anyway, only the ccp were born with the memory of what happened in OOT. they create the people and with them they carry on the MEMORY of the OoT/HoT legend.

Majora's Mask was an acid trip on LAND.

In a sort of divine intervention after all the shit that went on, the previously "LAY-ZAY FARE" Goddesses merged land and underwater. Sky (where the essences of the Goddesses resided along with the ccp) remained separate. The pieces of the Triforce were merged into one single "object" called the Lightforce which happened to reside in Zelda without her knowing (Goddesses felt this was safest?). Ganon and Vaati were erased but their CONCEPT of ancient demon remained, as did brave lad Link and wise princess Zelda. Vaati is an old name and the Minish just happened to be named that by fate. The ancient demon saw that the Minish Vaati had an open in his heart for the demon and it took over. TMC happened.

Previous history was remembered by the windfish which was a demi-god of both land, sky, and water. The Windfish chose to sleep in the newly merged land/water, remembering previous history in a dream.

After his adventures, Link decided to set sail for enlightenment. LA happens

END OF TIMELINE (rejoice!)

THINGS TO INCORPORATE:
how Ganon is a separate being
but sarah, old master sword is in ganondorf's head in the bottom of the sea!

I need to get back into doing these for fun, heh.

happy thanksg--WHAT

ryutsuki — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 15:06:05 GMT

My 3-y.o. little brother just told me he only loves me for Phantom Hourglass XD