This is the kind of person my mother is.

Dad: "So two wardens brought in several criminals on their way to prison into the sandwich shop today, and you gave them each an extra cookie in their lunch?"

Mom: "I felt sorry for them! They were on their way to prison!"

Dad: "...which indicates that they have all committed horrible crimes."

Mom: "But...well, I was just trying to be nice!"

Me: "Hey, maybe, maybe they'll be sitting in their cells and go "An anonymous person showed my kindness and gave me two cookies! Maybe I won't try to rape my cell mate tonight!" You know?"

Mom: "Thank you."

And later, my mother and father imitating a warden and a prisoner on the topic of they drinks they ordered with lunch:

Dad: "What do you mean, you don't like Sour Apple?"

Mom: "I wanted Foo-Foo Berry!"

Dad: "Well, you got Sour Apple!"

I love my parents, you guys.