And if you want roses, you can go buy a bouquet

I wrote you a poem.

It is called "And Then She Slapped Me".

Not like a little sister; more like a sister-in-law,
Or your brother’s obnoxious girlfriend who’s pretty hot
But never gives you a ride to work and thinks you dress badly.

Other than that she’s okay most of the time,
Kind of cool even,
But she always sides with your dickhead brother,
Even when she knows he’s wrong. But when he’s not around
She’s fun to hang with, and you can watch movies
But you sit on the other end of the couch,
Because she’s pretty hot but never gives you a ride
(Or the time of day)
And thinks you dress badly.

And you know that even if she was fighting with your brother
Again, you wouldn’t bang her, because you’d never be able
To justify it or forgive yourself - bros before hos,
You know how it goes.

And besides, you really don’t want those sloppy seconds,
Even if you know for a fact she hasn’t slept with him in a week,
And even after that time he got wasted at graduation and told you
She’s a wildcat in the sack, because you wouldn’t be able to
Stop thinking about that exact conversation,
Even though she’s pretty hot, aside from the fact that
She never drives you to work and thinks you dress badly.

Anyway, that’s kind of how I feel about you.
Don’t be mad.