My Cousin doesn't get me. But she puts up with a lot...

My cousin and I drove around in the hopes of finding the one open store on Christmas morning. She wanted spinach. Everything was so creepy and empty; the Kroger parking lot that usually seemed to gorge itself on life was entirely desolate. We didn't pass any cars on the way there. As for the store itself the employees had barricaded the doors with booze. Nobody was getting in there.

I told my cousin, because sometimes I forget that the world is not the internet, that Kroger would be a good hiding place during a zombie apocalypse. Lock and barricade the doors and eat all the perishables first. The glass might be an issue but with proper planning you could compensate for that.

My cousin reacted to this the way any sorority girl might. She took me to what turned out to be a very busy Starbucks and we drank caramel lattes until the paranoia went away.

I'll call this holiday a success.