Friday goofiness

One of the most dangerous hobbies is googling for bad poetry and prose. Teresa pointed out in her weblog that "She loved him. She really loved him." gets you one kind of story; while "He loved her. He really loved her." gets you another. I looked for the latter this afternoon, in a fit of something or other, and found a chapter from what I suspect is a romance novel, which includes:

"I love you," he said meaningfully.

"What are you trying to say, pooh?" Jasmine awaited the punch line with lazy, relaxed speech.

"Will you marry me." Nick blurted it out so quickly, it rather seemed a statement than a question.

Shocked, Jasmine collapsed against the side of the tub. Never before had the hot tub generated so much heat. This brotha was serious. He was proposing to spend the rest of his life with her. Only her. Wow. She loved him, but she was not ready for all this.

With trepidation, Nick sought out her eyes. Well? they asked for him.

Seriously, she gave him her eyes. "I have to think about it." Nick slumped against the side of the tub.

On the same website, it is possible to order a novel with the following description:

The Emperor's Babe - Bernadine Evaristo
Blending poetry, fiction, history, and myth, a glorious new spin on a classic story is set in Londinium, Britannia, AD 211 and follows Zuleika, who is forced to marry a rich Roman senator at the age of eleven, as she reveals, several years after their marriage, embarks on a torrid affair with visiting Roman emperor Septimus Severus.

How can you resist?