puttering
I'm doing a lot of internal reflecting, as well as going out and dealing with strangers, so there's not much writing happening here. Life is good, though sometimes tense about finances. On the other hand, the two surviving cherry tomato plants are now producing a large number of cherry tomatoes, with three or four ripening every couple of days. Jane tends to bring them in when she's puttering with the garden, and so I will find a sunwarmed tomato being handed to me, or left on my computer stand... and they're wonderful, sweet and tangy, like the best candy around.
I am spending more time at the Center for Sex Positive Culture, talking with people, and watching. Since I dropped out of fandom, this is now my place to learn about certain types of interpersonal dynamics (and ones not fueled by alcohol -- karaoke bars are interesting and fulfilling in their own ways, but alcohol tends to warp some behaviors). A lot of good people show up there regularly... and the occasional whackjob who seems to focus on me. I deal, and because the rules there explicitly state "no touching without permission," in some ways, it's much much easier to deal with.
(And I think about that, and about the stuff that's been written and done in fandom, and Readercon and rape apologists, and when someone asks, "Why don't you come back to fandom?" I say nothing, because I'm so frustrated.)
I am spending more time at the Center for Sex Positive Culture, talking with people, and watching. Since I dropped out of fandom, this is now my place to learn about certain types of interpersonal dynamics (and ones not fueled by alcohol -- karaoke bars are interesting and fulfilling in their own ways, but alcohol tends to warp some behaviors). A lot of good people show up there regularly... and the occasional whackjob who seems to focus on me. I deal, and because the rules there explicitly state "no touching without permission," in some ways, it's much much easier to deal with.
(And I think about that, and about the stuff that's been written and done in fandom, and Readercon and rape apologists, and when someone asks, "Why don't you come back to fandom?" I say nothing, because I'm so frustrated.)