something from about ten years ago, slightly edited

"And how do you get past the shit that makes you just want to curl up into a ball and die at the mere thought of?"

I try to make sure that there's a really good goal/reward at the other side, even if it's something only I would see as a reward; I try to approach whatever it is from a position of strength, when I've had other successes before and after, and am secure in the memories of having succeeded at other things; sometimes I let someone I can count on to offer complete support and empathy know what I'm going through/about to do, so that they can encourage me after the fact, and tell me how much I've succeeded, whether partially or wholly; and I give myself time to think about it afterwards.

And, sometimes, I just get through the fear by saying, "At least I'll fucking know where I stand now." That works for some things: singing, auditioning, reaching out to talk with someone, and the like. And that works for me because my absolute biggest fear is a complicated one that's fear of not knowing/fear of spending the rest of my life wondering "what if?"/fear of discovering later that it was within my reach/would have been within my reach with a slight change in approach.