riptey's writing

Friend Number Three now in Spanish and Chinese!

riptey — Thu, 11 Apr 2013 23:29:50 GMT

This is very exciting! In addition to Russian, you can now read Friend Number Three in Spanish (thanks to FF.net user Bubbles of Colors) and Chinese (thanks Sue)! Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think this means that more than 50% of the world is now able to read this story. It has also gone as far as it can around the globe from its place of origin (the Midwestern US) before it starts returning. Fan TASTIC!

Live from Russia!

riptey — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 06:00:23 GMT

Do you speak Russian? Alas, I do not, but dar_se_cuenta does, and she has generously offered to translate Friend Number Three. She's already started, but that story is way long, so I'm not sure when she'll be finished.

If you don't speak Russian but DO speak Slovak, you can also read a few of my fics translated by Jimmi.

What if you don't speak Russian or Slovak, but you do speak a totally different language (and you enjoy translating fics)? It makes me positively giddy when people want to translate my stories, so please don't hesitate to ask. But make sure you tell me if you do, so that I can go to the page and stare at my words in unfamiliar characters and smile to myself about the amazing world-shrinking connections that are possible these days.

FN3 Illustration

riptey — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 20:57:43 GMT

Hi guys! So, you may have already noticed that I updated Friend Number Three (ff.net, H&V). Exciting! Except it's not finished yet, because the final chapter was approaching 10k, and that's a little long for my taste. However, while you are enjoying the first part of the frustratingly TBC finale, view this lovely art! I made it a while ago and forgot to post it on my own journal. (click for big)

(They're ranked in chronological order, in case you were wondering.)

Friend Number Three

riptey — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 02:51:58 GMT

Ah, Friend Number Three. This story, it will not end, and people keep asking me when it's going to. I think I subconsciously don't want to finish it or something, but that's neither here nor there. It was my first fanfic story, and I've been working on it steadily for just over a year. I suppose since I had a full seven chapters of build-up before anything actually happened, I get at least seven chapters of pure denouement. I hope people don't get bored, since I think there will be three more. Maybe I can crunch it down to two, but who knows? It's a character-driven dramedy - the plot's just gravy.

I'm working on chapter twenty-four right now, and chapter nine of BOYD, and writing backwards from the end on my next story after that. I'm also about to start school again on the first, so who knows how much I can finish.

This week in Friend Number Three

riptey — Sat, 29 May 2010 02:21:38 GMT

So, a lot of people have been asking me for a long time if Friend Number Three will ever get an update, and I have even better news than last time: chapter 23 is posted!

I've just finished going through all 22 of the existing chapters (!), cleaning up the prose and editing and generally tightening up the plot. There aren't any huge changes, but there's a mountain of smaller ones. If you're following this story, you might want to at least skim the updated chapters 19-22 before you move forward.

New One-shot: Dream Machine

riptey — Sat, 22 May 2010 19:06:21 GMT

Title: Dream Machine
Rating: PG
Status: Complete (6,613 words)
Genre: romance, drama, starts darker and gets lighter
Pairings: D/Hr, R/P, background H/G (as always)
Summary: A post-war look at forgiveness and punishment and Getting Over It, structured like a drabble series.

The former blood purity sympathizers are subjected to a magical machine that induces guilt in large doses. Hermione thinks it's torture, but sometimes the ends justify the means.

A/N: Ron/Pansy is my favorite side pairing for DMHG of all time! It's like my OTSP. Unless you count H/G, which I don't - as much as I love both Harry and Ginny as characters to write, their relationship always feels like background noise in my fics.

Music update

riptey — Tue, 18 May 2010 05:14:34 GMT

I added a playlist for Bring Out Your Dead, which you can view at the master music post.

New story - Bring Out Your Dead

riptey — Fri, 14 May 2010 05:31:31 GMT

Title: Bring Out Your Dead
Rating: T for mild language and dark/frightening situations
Genre: dark humor, supernatural horror, action/adventure, and eventually some romance
Summary: Games last a long time when both sides are trying to lose.

A dying Lucius Malfoy set up one last dubiously legal scheme, but his heart kicked out a week too soon. Draco has to keep the death a secret for a week with the help of Marcus and Pansy Flint, but Hermione Granger's keeping watch. Even if she can figure out the plan, she still has to find Lucius's corpse before she can report the death, and Malfoy Manor's not a small place. It isn't safe, either: there are ancient secrets in that house beyond their wildest dreams. The Dark Lord didn't choose it as his Headquarters for nothing, and Draco doesn't know his home as well as he thinks he does.

A/N: I've edited the summary, because this is growing into a different sort of story than I what originally planned to write. There's lots of action and horror to come, and it'll be a fair bit longer than I'd intended. It's unlike anything I've written before, and I hope you like it.

Another one down!

riptey — Thu, 06 May 2010 06:52:16 GMT

I finished another story tonight! Isn't that insane?

Not the one you wanted me to finish, though, probably. Nobody cared about this story except me, but it's done! And I think it is pretty good. It is very strange, though. Please read it. :)

Plasma on FF.net

General Updates

riptey — Tue, 04 May 2010 05:31:21 GMT

What I've been up to:

I've posted the final chapter, and Sucker Punch is now complete! Yay!

Wrote a melancholy little drabble from Hermione's PoV, where Ron is actually a good character - I Had the Loveliest Dream

And finally, I was nominated for two Dramione Awards, so that's exciting. One for fiction in the Best Comedy category, and one for art. Please go over there and read the entries and vote, even if you don't pick me!

Fun-Size DMHG

riptey — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 08:07:39 GMT

Hi, riptey here! Have you ever wanted to read DMHG fanfiction but just didn't have the time? Well, you're in luck, because I have condensed some classic DMHG plots into 300 words or less for your reading convenience.

This is something that I wrote many years ago for the Cookie Jar at FictionAlley Park, and I just found it on my hard drive and decided to edit it and repost it.

Big Long Disclaimer: These are just for fun, playing with some well-worn and much-loved DMHG scenarios. I would never want to insult these plot elements in and of themselves, and there are tons of wonderful stories that use similar ideas. None of them point to a specific story or anything.

These drabbles are all Hogwarts-era, since everything took place at Hogwarts back then, before the epilogue and electricity. If people enjoy these, I might write some Post-Hogwarts ones.

Also, characters and canon situations are property of J.K. Rowling. And finally, the format is loosely based on a fic that no longer seems to exist, called "The Harry Potter Cliché Catalogue" by Clam Chowder. More notes at the end.

#1: "The Bet"

[Scene I: The Slytherin Common Room]

BLAISE ZABINI/PANSY PARKINSON/A MEAN AND NASTY SLYTHERIN WITH NO MORALS

Hey, Draco, I bet you can't sleep with Hermione Granger.

DRACO

Oh, yeah? I bet I can.

SLYTHERIN

Prove it.

[Scene II: The Gryffindor Table]

VARIOUS GRYFFINDORS

We hate Malfoy.

HERMIONE

Especially me.

DRACO

Hi, Granger's First Name.

HERMIONE

Go away, Malfoy!

DRACO

I am rubber, and you are glue...

(they banter wittily)

[Scene III: The Library]

HERMIONE

Why won't you just leave me alone, Malfoy?

DRACO

Not until I get what I want.

HERMIONE

You're just a stupid ferret, and I -

(DRACO kisses HERMIONE, just to shut her up)

[Scene IV: The Slytherin Common Room]

DRACO

Woe betide me. All I wanted to do was win a bet, but instead I've Fallen In Love With Hermione.

(enter PANSY)

PANSY

What was that?

DRACO

Oh, nothing.

(DRACO sighs and runs to his dorm to mope)

THE SLYTHERIN HE MADE THAT BET WITH

So, Draco, have you slept with Hermione?

(he has)

DRACO

No.

(he has MORALS now and VALUES)

SLYTHERIN

Now you have to dress up like a girl for the next Quidditch match.

DRACO

Curses! Yet at least I have found true love.

[The End]

#2: "The Project/Detention"

[Scene I: Potions Class]

SNAPE

In case you haven't noticed, class, I'm mean.

(They have. SNAPE glares. He is mean, just like he said.)

SNAPE

That's why I've decided to partner you up with people you hate.

DRACO

Except me, right?

SNAPE

No. I hate everybody in the whole world, including you. Potter and Draco, even though you guys technically hate each other the most, I won't partner you together.

DRACO and HARRY

Yes!

SNAPE

Detention! No glee allowed in the Potions classroom! Draco, you're with Miss Granger. Nobody cares about the rest of the class, so I won't even bother saying their names.

[Scene II: Detention With Snape]

HERMIONE

Why am I here? I thought Harry got detention.

DRACO

What does this look like, a slash fic?

SNAPE

For detention, you horrible children must clean cauldrons or some such transparent rubbish while getting to know each other.

DRACO

This sucks.

HERMIONE

Yes, it does. Hey, we just agreed on something! I think we should start using each other's first names now.

[Scene III: The Library, two weeks later]

HERMIONE

Draco, I feel angsty.

DRACO

Me, too. Why do we feel angsty again?

HERMIONE

Our love is forbidden, remember?

DRACO (angstily)

Oh, right. By the way, aren't we supposed to be working on a Potions project?

HERMIONE

I think we may have already finished that or something.

(DRACO kisses HERMIONE. She DEEPENS THE KISS, and her BREASTS HEAVE)

[Scene IV: Malfoy Manor]

LUCIUS

I am bored. I wish I had something really evil to be doing.

(an OWL flies in and drops an ominous letter on his desk)

[Scene V: Hogwarts]

DRACO

Hermione, Lucius knows.

HERMIONE

Oh, no. I guess it's time for the final violence/choice/action scene.

[Scene VI: An Action Place]

LUCIUS

Draco, you have to choose between Hermione's life and your inheritance.

(DRACO and HERMIONE escape using THE POWER OF LOVE. LUCIUS goes to Azkaban, where he dies a painful, miserable death all alone.)

[The End]

#3: "It's the Heat"

[Scene I: The Hogwarts Express]

DRACO

I have gotten very good-looking and muscled over the summer. It must be from Quidditch. Please ignore the fact that all the Seeker basically does is sit on a broomstick and occasionally move his arms around.

HERMIONE

And I have developed considerably! I've got big boobs now. Also, I've learned a new spell so my hair will look good, I've started wearing makeup, and I grew a fashion sense.

HARRY

Hi, Hermione. I have also become hot over the summer.

HERMIONE

Oh, no. There are two hot guys at Hogwarts now! This creates a love triangle.

RON

What about me?

HERMIONE

That depends, do we know you?

[Scene II: The Great Hall]

THE SORTING HAT

Gryffindor rules,

Slytherin drools.

McGONAGALL

Let the sorting begin!

(random first years are sorted as HERMIONE ogles DRACO and HARRY)

HARRY

So, Hermione, want to take a walk by the lake after dinner?

HERMIONE

Okay.

DRACO

Wait! Hermione, want to have dessert with me after dinner?

HERMIONE

Oh, no!

(She runs away, having been faced with a horribly difficult decision)

RON

Stop ignoring me! Just because I'm not hot doesn't mean -

(Nobody cares what RON has to say)

GINNY

I don't think this love triangle is big enough. It needs to be a square. I, too, have developed over the summer. Harry, Draco, would you two like to go to the lake with me?

HARRY

I love Hermione, but all right.

DRACO

No thanks, I'll go take Pansy somewhere and make this thing a pentagon.

[Scene III: The Library, two weeks later]

HERMIONE

Draco, Harry, Blaise, Ginny, Pansy, Professor Snape, Parvati, Lavender, Seamus: I'm glad you could all make it here today. This fic is getting long. I think we should all decide who our final partner should be.

GINNY

I call Seamus.

SEAMUS

No thanks, I wanted Parvati.

BLAISE

Do you guys even know whether I'm male or female?

HERMIONE

Does it look like we care?

[Scene IV: The Hogwarts Express]

DRACO

Good thing we got all that sorted out.

HERMIONE

Yeah. Imagine, we didn't even think of drawing names out of a hat until Dumbledore came by.

(They all live happily ever after, except RON)

[The End]

#4: "Angst Overload"

[Scene I: The Granger Residence]

MR. and MRS. GRANGER

Child of ours, we don't love you or each other, approve of magic, or have a functional home. So, we're going to physically and emotionally abuse you.

[SCENE II: Malfoy Manor]

LUCIUS and NARCISSA

Same deal, except replace "magic" with "Muggles."

[Scene III: Library]

HERMIONE

My spirit is broken. My life is angst.

DRACO

What a coincidence, my life is angst, too.

HERMIONE

Oh, let's snog then.

[Scene IV: The Gryffindor Common Room]

HARRY

Oh, woe. Oh, terrible woe. Angst, it plagues me. MY PAAAREEEEENTS.

RON

I'm angsty, too, because I'm poor. I can't afford to purchase things that cost money.

GINNY

Me, too.

(enter SEAMUS)

SEAMUS

That's nothing compared to how angsty you'll all be when I tell you I just saw Hermione snogging Malfoy.

EVERYONE

Oh, no!

[Scene V: The Library]

DRACO

Hermione, we have to break up.

HERMIONE

What, the story wasn't tragic enough?

DRACO

Precisely. Goodbye.

(DRACO leaves, and HERMIONE cries all alone)

[Scene VI: The Gryffindor Common Room]

RON

I have angst because Hermione doesn't love me, and also I'm still poor. I can't afford therapy, so I must kill myself!

(he jumps out of the tower)

HARRY

No! Ron was my best friend! I now must kill myself as well!

(he drinks poison)

GINNY

No! I was in love with Harry, and my brother's dead! I, too, must die!

(she AK's herself as HERMIONE walks in)

HERMIONE

I've lost Draco forever, and all my friends are dead.

(she shoots herself right as DRACO walks in to tell her he still loves her - What Tragic Irony! (Hermione carries a handgun at all times (in case her wand burns out)))

DRACO

Four people just died, and I may have cared about one of them.

(he grabs HERMIONE's gun and shoots himself)

[The End]

#5: "Forced Pregnancy"

[Scene I: Malfoy Manor]

LUCIUS

Draco, you must impregnate Hermione Granger with your demon Death Eater spawn.

DRACO

With all due respect for His Snakeliness, that doesn't actually sound very helpful.

LUCIUS

Don't tell him I said so, but I was sort of thinking the same thing. I guess do it anyway, just in case.

[Scene II: The Library]

HERMIONE

I hope no demon Death Eaters impregnate me with their spawn today.

(DRACO emerges from The Shadows)

DRACO

Better luck tomorrow.

HERMIONE

Oh, no! I am weak and frail!

(DRACO attacks her)

[Scene III: The Library, one month later]

HERMIONE

Draco, I'm pregnant.

DRACO

That was the whole point.

HERMIONE

Yes, but can't you see? Fate has brought us together!

(DRACO stares deeply into her CHOCOLATEY REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUP COLORED EYES)

DRACO

My darling...

HERMIONE

Yes?

DRACO

Let us marry, for I have fallen in love with you!

HERMIONE

My love, I accept!

MADAM PINCE

Can't you wretched teenagers find someplace other than the library to Have Sex and Talk About It?

(No.)

[Scene IV: Malfoy Manor]

LUCIUS

This plan sure went to hell.

WORMTAIL

I'm as surprised as you are, my liege.

(DRACO and HERMIONE burst in)

DRACO

Father, I'm going to marry Hermione whether you like it or not!

LUCIUS

No, you're not.

DRACO

Yes, I am. And to prove it, I'm going to kill you with this Ruby Special Gryffindor Sword.

LUCIUS

Where'd you get that?

DRACO

My new best friend Harry lent it to me.

(DRACO kills LUCIUS, while HARRY kills VOLDEMORT)

[Scene VI: Hogwarts maybe?]

DUMBLEDORE

Like in all fics that have a wedding, I have become a registered minister. Draco, do you take Hermione to be your lawfully wedded wife?

DRACO

I do.

DUMBLEDORE

Hermione, same question.

HERMIONE

I do!

(They live happily ever after, and their daughter, SAPPHIRE AMBROSIA MALFOY, has the same eyes as one of them and then the other one's hair)

[The End]

A/N: In #3, I just wanted to say that I'm not Ron-bashing for no reason. It used to be like Ron didn't even exist half the time back in Ye Olden Dayes of Fanfictione (before book 5 came out or so), like we all just agreed to forget what a Weasley even was, and I was making fun of that. The only reason we usually bothered to mention Harry was because, like, his name's in the title and everything. Maybe people would disagree with me on that point if they've been around forever too, but that's how it felt to me.

It may not always seem this way, but really, I swear I like Ron. :)

Plug, update, and PSA

riptey — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 20:21:40 GMT

First, a little PSA: if you are reading this and you write fiction, go out and buy an extra flash drive. Put all your writing on it, and put it in a safe place. I did this, and my computer crashed two days ago. I'll need to buy a new one in a few weeks when I can afford it, but I didn't lose anything :) That's the good news, but the bad news is that I'll be even less able to write until I get my own new computer. I don't like writing on public computers, and I doubt anybody does. It feels way too weird.

Until then, make sure you check out dmhgficexchange on the 7th when they start posting gifts, because it'll be great and because I'm a participant!

Sucker Punch Chapter 14 Preview

riptey — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 08:10:12 GMT

I am pleased to announce that chapter 14 of Sucker Punch is finally done! Well, sent off to the beta, anyway (thanks, kazfeist!). I'll need to do a bit more editing once she sends it back, but it's almost 7,000 words, and I'm very excited to post it.

Since I'm so excited, I couldn't resist giving a sneak preview to my special LJ friends:

There was a carefully-wrapped parcel waiting for her on the couch, which reminded her that she needed to change the locks. Harry was right about resetting her wards, but not because she was afraid of intrusions of the Draco Malfoy kind. She just wanted those intrusions to be on her own terms, which would effectively make them not intrusions at all, but Harry didn't need to know that. It occurred to her that she should make sure he wasn't still in her home, so she walked around throwing out searching spells and calling out his name. He was gone for sure, and she went back to open the parcel.

It was accompanied by a note, which appeared at first glance to be a collaborative effort between a bossy ESL student and ee cummings:

Break your lease.

Read the society section

say it

She was offended first by the mid-letter abandonment of grammar (he could have at least been consistent), and she knew he'd done it on purpose. He hadn't been able to mess with her for a few days, and they were probably both going through withdrawal. Next, she was offended by the fact that he felt comfortable issuing no less than three direct commands; and finally, he still refused to tell her what he wanted her to say. All things considered, it was the most offensive piece of written correspondence that she'd ever received, and he hadn't even bothered to sign it. How was she supposed to know who it was from?

She ran her finger along the edges affectionately, and then she folded it up neatly and slipped it into her back pocket. She opened the parcel next, and her jaw hit the floor...

The whole thing should be up on FF and GE within the next few days.

Fic updates

riptey — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 23:01:33 GMT

I'm not sure how many (if any) of my readers actually check my LJ, mostly since I never update it, but I wanted to put this somewhere. Here's as good as anywhere, right?

Anyway, I just want to reassure you that I will finish all my stories. I promise. I have plans for them, I have parts written, and all I need is some extra time to fill in the blanks. I often write far in advance, so for some stories I have the last chapter written and hardly anything in between (Sucker Punch, Plasma, Friend Number Three).

I hope you'll be patient and enjoy what I've written so far in the time being, but I really can't afford to put fanfiction ahead of my classwork right now. I spend my spare moments between work and school trying to get enough food and sleep to survive. If any of you are going or have gone to university, you know how it is.

I also want to say that I love reading reviews, and I appreciate every one that I get. Please don't think I've fallen off the face of the planet - I definitely haven't, and I haven't lost interest in my stories (except Slow Saint kind of, but hardly anybody read that one anyway). In fact, I have ideas blocked out for two full-length fics after I finish these ones, plus a likely sequel to Sucker Punch. This is my favorite (and only) hobby.

I also especially don't have time to read any new fics, which is very sad to me, because I love reading other people's stories probably more than writing. So if you are a reviewer who has asked me to take a look at your work, I have probably read your first chapter or something and not enough to leave a comment. I will do more reading and writing on Christmas break.

I do hope to at least finish Sucker Punch before then, but sometimes we can't get what we wish for, right?

Thanks again for reading and supporting my work.

Music for my stories

riptey — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 03:34:09 GMT

(This post has existed before now, but I bumped it after editing. New songs have been added to BYOD)

Just a little something for your listening pleasure as you read. Some of these songs inspired me to write parts of the stories or informed the way I wrote them, and others I just think tie in nicely. They are mostly grouped in order of relevance to the plot of the story.

All links are to YouTube and will open in a new window.

Bring Out Your Dead
1. "The Beach" - Dr. Dog
2. "King Rat" - Modest Mouse
3. "Sit Down By The Fire" - The Veils
4. "The She" - The Breeders
5. "Hate to Say I Told You So" - The Hives
6. "Winter is Coming" - Radical Face
7. "The Book of Right-On" - Joanna Newsom
8. "Talk Show Host" - Radiohead
9. "Girl With One Eye" - Florence + the Machine
10. "Skeleton" - Helium
11. "Lie to Me" - Devics
12. "Queens Will Play" - Black Mountain

Sucker Punch
1. "Swamp" by Talking Heads
2. 100% by Sonic Youth
3. "You Really Got a Hold On Me," performed by She & Him
4. "Black Swan" by Thom Yorke
5. "Spin Spin Sugar" by Sneaker Pimps
6. "Get Free" by the Vines
7. "Oh My God" by Ida Maria
8. "Man" by Yeah Yeah Yeahs
9. "Blue" by Elastica (ignore video)
10. "Angels" by Black Mountain
11. "Sour Times" by Portishead
12. "For Real" by Okkervil River (audio works, you just have to skip ~20sec in)
13. "Dream On" by Depeche Mode
14. "A Little Bit" by Lykke Li
15. "I Cut Like a Buffalo" by the Dead Weather

Friend Number Three
1. "The Great Defector" by Bell X1 (I think this song may have inspired the whole story, because I kept hearing it on the radio around that time)
2. "The Rabbit, The Bat, And The Reindeer" by Dr. Dog
3. "Rain King" by Counting Crows
4. "Shelter from the Storm" by Bob Dylan
5. "Incinerate" by Sonic Youth
6. "Combat Baby" by Metric
7. "Love Today" by MIKA
8. "The Magic Position" by Patrick Wolf
9. "Crimson and Clover," as performed by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
10. "Sweet Jane" by Lou Reed, as performed by The Cowboy Junkies
11. "I Believe in a Thing Called Love" by The Darkness
12. "Hey Jude" by The Beatles