Whimsical in the Brainpan

rightsaidred — Fri, 01 Jul 2011 14:27:18 GMT

So, fun times. I get a text yesterday from the ex saying that his brother had "said something" and that as a result the state of Iowa is seeking to extradite me on charges of abuse.

LOL, WHUT?

This is clearly a failed attempt at "LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME." And a lame one at that. For one, he lived with us in Minnesota. I doubt Iowa would have jurisdiction, despite him being a ward of the state at the time. Two, there is absolutely no evidence, just the word of a pathological liar of a teenager with a criminal record for, among other things, ASSAULTING ME.

I doubt that this is even really happening. No doubt the boy did say something to someone, and they said they would look into it or some such nonsense that the child then blew out of proportion and relayed to the ex, who felt the need to fuck with my head by relaying it to me. And it will all come to nothing, just like when he supposedly had cancer, or when he was going to move to the west coast, or when he was certain he was allergic to dogs and was going to get rid of my ex-dog.

Seriously, David? Your attempts to get inside my head are becoming increasingly lame. QUIT FUCKING CONTACTING ME. This ought to be easy, since I have now blocked your cell number from calling or texting me. But I will be nice and let you see this entry.

rightsaidred — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 02:30:22 GMT

Every fucking thing I do or say lately is apparently wrong. It's exhausting having people pissed at you all the fucking time for no apparent reason.

I swear, as soon as one thing in my life starts to go right, everything else had to go to shit.

I am suddenly very cheerful

rightsaidred — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 06:45:48 GMT

So I had this friend in high school. We were pretty good friends, did a lot of stuff together. We were never inseparable besties or anything, but friends. Things got a little tense when she got the part I felt I should have had in our last school play, but we remained friendly (She was the drama teacher's pet, but said she didn't want the part and wasn't going to audition, then did anyway the second day of try outs and got the part. I got to be her understudy. I was understandably a bit hurt). When we got to college, we still hung out occasionally.

Then she started dating this guy who was a year behind us in school and all the sudden forgot about all her friends. She just... quit talking to us. Friends of hers I didn't even really know commented on this to me. She contacted me via e-mail out of the blue one day after months of silence to bitch that my website was a "carbon copy" of hers and I was trying to be her (Because calling someone a pathetic wannabe is the way to win back your pissed off friends). I sent back an angry e-mail, deleted the website, and she never spoke to me again. Not even when we had 2 classes together in the next few years (we had the same 2nd major). Once in a while I got curious as to what she was up to and checked her blog, but after a few months, complete radio silence (this girl creates new blogs with the frequency some people buy shoes, so I assume she moved on).

So she came to mind this evening, and by some miracle I found a trace of her on the interwebs!

Turns out, she married the guy, lives in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere and works as a glorified secretary at a nature center. And she got FAT. She has two chins, has a BAD "mom haircut" and looks 10 years older than she is. And this is a girl who used to be a 5'10" size 3 with long flowing blonde hair.

I don't care how mean spirited this sounds...

My life may be shit, but at least I'm still cute!

---------------

Okay, now I feel like an ass. Apparently she got cancer and lost a leg. :( She was still a bitch to me though. And she's a batshit insane kool-aid drinking granola-eating braless hippie.

MIss Manners PWNS Obama

rightsaidred — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 00:25:05 GMT

Hugs and Kisses and Heads of State

Dear Miss Manners:

What should an American president do when he greets a foreign head of state? What about his wife? And would that be any different from an average American citizen greeting a foreign head of state?

A handshake and "How do you do?" seem appropriate everywhere, but what about curtsies, head nods and genuflecting? Is a bend at the waist considered different from a bent knee? If anyone can have a final say on this, I believe it would be you.

Final say? If only that were true. Miss Manners has now watched at least half a dozen administrations get this wrong. They go to one extreme or the other, behaving like other presidents' buddies or like monarchs' subjects.

Where is the Office of Protocol, for goodness' sake?

Yes, yes, Americans pride ourselves on being warm and open and spontaneous. But heads of state are the symbolic embodiments of their countries, and the greeting gesture is itself symbolic. If they improvise mistakenly, they can expect a spontaneous outburst of American disdain.

The American greeting routine used to be simple. Because we officially consider all people to be equal and equally worthy of respect, the same gesture, the handshake -- simple, dignified and egalitarian -- would do for all.

We knew it wasn't universal, but it was our way. We felt superior to people who had to bow down to their leaders. And we found it side-splitting to watch news footage of French generals bestowing kisses on their soldiers when they gave out medals.

Then, about half a century ago, came the American huggy movement. Instant intimacy was going to solve everyone's problems by making them feel good, which, in turn, would end war and strife. It took rather vigorous forms among some, but eventually infiltrated even the most staid parts of society, where the handshake had been the greeting that fathers gave their young sons.

And it spread internationally. Heads of state took to kissing and hugging one another, a truly bad idea politically. Those photographs are bound to surface when the loved one or his country does something nasty.

Symbolically, it is bad even in good times. Such bonding smacks of the days when protocol had sovereigns from different monarchies addressing one another as "Monsieur Mon Frère" or "Madame Ma Soeur," regardless of whether they had any familial ties. The idea was that they belonged to an international ruling class as distinguished from the mere subjects over whom they reigned.

And if you don't believe that, you should try a spontaneous hug on any head of state -- your own or anyone else's -- who happens to come your way in a parade or ceremony.

But symbolic subservience to a foreign ruler is worse. When Miss Manners sees American citizens delighting in bowing or curtseying to royalty, she tries to remind herself that they are just being silly, not treasonous. When an American official does it, we can only hope it was because he was noticing that his own shoelace was undone -- and not that he recognizes the divine right of kings in general, or the authority over us of that king in particular.

Link (free registration required)

rightsaidred — Fri, 29 May 2009 06:34:26 GMT

I think I'm going to have to head back to the Apple store again tomorrow. My brand new MacBook adapter got very hot and stopped charging a bit ago. I googled around and apparently this is a big problem with these things. I'm also now getting poor battery life readings. It's at almost full power and telling me I only have 1.5 hours left on it. It's usually a three hour plus battery. I"m going to let the lappy and the charger cool off and try again in the morning.

ETA: Couldn't sleep yet, so I tried again. Huh. Seems to be working normally now. Odd.

rightsaidred — Thu, 28 May 2009 02:58:20 GMT

Well, I'm not going to knitting group anymore. Tonight was just kind of the last straw. I'm tired of being the closet conservative and listening to all their liberal bullshit. At first it was just the one woman who pissed me off. Not a single week goes by that she doesn't make some blatantly rude anti-religious or anti-conservative comment. Then today, this other woman and I get in a discussion about the quality of the local public schools which basically boils down to her telling me that I'm a deadbeat expecting the school to parent my kid, just because I said I'm sick of them not holding him accountable for his behavior, and in fact, encouraging it. (The other day David went to the school to pick him up early, and when he told Byron "Ok, lets go" Byron replied "Piss off" and his teachers laughed hysterically. How's that for being an authority figure? And that's only one example).

When I politely ended the conversation, she turned to the only other girl who was there and started a conversation about something else and just pretended I wasn't there. Real mature. So, while they were yammering on, I quietly finished the row I was knitting, gathered up my things and left without a word. I had not taken three steps away from my chair when I heard it get really quiet behind me. No doubt they are still sitting over there gossiping about me.

No, I won't be going back.

rightsaidred — Wed, 20 May 2009 20:25:15 GMT

Well, this made my day better.

Senate Blocks Funding to Close Gitmo

Looks like someone's allure is wearing off. Read the whole thing. Obama's plan has been cut off from every angle. He's fucked. And I'm a happy (allergy ridden, asthmatic, rather mentally unstable) girl.

Here is the voting record for this amendment. If your senator is one of the six morons to vote nay, give 'em a piece of you mind!

rightsaidred — Tue, 19 May 2009 17:25:51 GMT

Keith Ellison to narrate A Lincoln Portrait.

I think you can guess what I'm thinking right now.

Baby's first LYS experience and a new project

rightsaidred — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 22:57:05 GMT

I have too many projects going, you say? Fie upon thee! One cannot have too many WIPs. (Besides, I just frogged the knit shawl and socks that I lost interest in after a few rows. :))

So I was looking around the interwebs late last night and I just happened to discover a LYS in my area that I can actually get to by bus in under half an hour! *cue me doing the happy Snoopy dance*

So, with my Happy Hooker in hand (to make sure I didn't buy anything without a project in mind!) I betook myself over to Depth of Field Yarn. I spent about an hour while the hubby got bored after two minutes and headed across the street to the Weinery for lunch. After much ooing and ahing and fondling of pretty pretty yarn, I finally decided on five hanks of Tahki Classic Mercerised Cotton in rose (on sale for $3.85!!!) to make the Sweet Pea Shawl, which the very helpful, if gruff, employee showed me how to wind up on the ball-winder (I'm like a little kid-- the ball winder is so much fun!).

All in all I am rather pleased with my first LYS experience. I had read on Ravelry others' poor experiences at local stores, but this store seemed free of those problems, the only issue I see being that there is no handicapped access to the sale loft. The aisles were wide enough, no one followed me around, no gaggles of yarn snobs were in sight, and everything was individually priced, well organized, and free of icky smells.

The only sad part is that, being wool-sensitive, I couldn't use half of the pretty pretty stuff there. :(

And now I am sitting across the street from my apartment typing this up and working on my shawl. The pattern is a pain in my ass (nearly a thousand double treble crochets? Seriously?) but it will look very nice when done and the color will look very nice on me. So far I have 24 shells completed... only 168 more to go. :/

And so this isn't all text, pictures! Clicky the thumbnails to biggify.

And... ravelry link

Bad service from David's Bridal. Surprise, surprise.

rightsaidred — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 00:54:21 GMT

I had no problem with them for my wedding. No problems with picking out my bridesmaid dress. No problems at my alteration appointment. Up until today, I rather liked the company. Then, I got a voice mail, that went something like this:

"Hello, Angela. This is so-and-so from David's Bridal alterations department. We have your dress here, which you came in to have altered on February 19 and to be picked up on March 13 at 4 pm, but we don't have the ticket that shows you paid."

[item: it is their policy that alterations have to be paid for in advance. They are very politely accusing me of skipping out on the bill.]

"If you paid, we need the transaction number from the top of your receipt, or if you did not pay, we will need you to call back and let us know so we can mark your dress "payment due" before we will begin altering your dress. Thank you, have a nice day."

What. The. Fuck. They are basically holding my $200 dress ransom unless I can prove they messed up. This is especially stressful as I have lost the receipt, but I check my online banking and I do know the payment went through, so I have that to fall back on.

I was livid. But, trying to remain calm, I called them to get it straightened out. Alterations did not answer, not surprisingly, so I called the main number. I explained the situation to the nice girl who answered, who then asked me to "hold on a minute."

Three minutes! later a guy with a thick accent answers, whom I take to be the manager. I guess it's no longer the thing to let someone know they are being transfered? I can barely understand him, and I take it he can't understand me either, as he asks me the same questions several times, all of which he should have been able to look up himself, and several minutes of absolute silence pass before he finds the transaction and tells me he will reprint the receipt and give alterations a copy.

I politely remarked before thanking him and hanging up that this could very easily have been handled without calling me and making me worry. He insisted that he had no way of knowing what time I came in, blah blah blah. I let him know otherwise.

This is what appointment books and alterations tickets are for. The alterations ticket has my name and appointment time on it, as well as the price of the alterations. All they had to do was look in their transactions for an approximate $45 transaction on February 19 around 3 pm with my name attached to it.

Which is exactly what they did, after I called and requested that I do it. But I shouldn't have HAD to. I guess it's just easier to insinuate that the customer is a thief than to admit that you may have made an error.

TL;DR: Basically, whoever rung me up (After the alterations person had escorted me to the register and handed my bill to the cashier, no less) did not give a copy of the receipt to the seamstress as she should have, making alterations think I didn't p. And instead of looking up the transaction, which they have al the information necessary to do, they decided it was up to ME to figure it all out for them. At no point are they willing to admit that THEY screwed up.

ETA: Be sure to check out the parallel post in bad_service, in which I have more people jumping on me and ramming things down my throat than Paris Hilton at a rave party. Charming people really. Not only do their reading comprehension skills fail, but when they ran out of arguments as to why this OMG ISN'T BAD SERVICE, they started attacking (with poor grammar, I might add) my writing style and resorting to childish name-calling. So far I've been called a bridezilla (lol, whut? not my wedding.), a bitch, an entitleed bitch, various other varietals of bitch... I turned off e-mail notification. Oh, and I have my own snark community post where they say even more lovely things. Note that I never once resorted to name-calling. But I'm the bitch for expecting a company providing a paid-for service to keep accurate records about said service.

ETA2: Now I have been likened to a dog. Pavlov's to be precise.

Obamoronic press conference (Part Deux)

rightsaidred — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 09:47:19 GMT

All right, Chuck Todd. Where's Chuck? ( I love how he has all these people picked out ahead of time. LOL)

Question: Thank you, Mr. President. In your opening remarks, you talked about that, if your plan works the way you want it to work, it's going to increase consumer spending. But isn't consumer spending, or overspending, how we got into this mess? And if people get money back into their pockets, do you not want them saving it or paying down debt first before they start spending money into the economy?

Obama: Well, first of all, I don't think it's accurate to say that consumer spending got us into this mess. What got us into this mess initially were banks taking exorbitant, wild risks with other people's monies based on shaky assets and because of the enormous leverage, where they had $1 worth of assets and they were betting $30 on that $1, what we had was a crisis in the financial system. (So it's okay for poor people to spend money they don't have, that the rest of us will end up paying for, but not investors? And WHERE THE FUCK is he getting these numbers? Is he on METH???)

That led to a contraction of credit, which, in turn, meant businesses couldn't make payroll or make inventories, which meant that everybody became uncertain about the future of the economy, so people started making decisions accordingly, reducing investment, initiating layoffs, which, in turn, made things worse.

Now, you are making a legitimate point, Chuck, about the fact that our savings rate has declined and this economy has been driven by consumer spending for a very long time. And that's not going to be sustainable.

You know, if -- if all we're doing is spending and we're not making things, then over time other countries are going to get tired of lending us money and eventually the party's going to be over. Well, in fact, the party now is over. (Or we could call in all our debts. WW2 reparations come to mind. If Europe is doing sooo much better than us, Germany can afford it.)

And so the -- the sequence of how we're approaching this is as follows. Our immediate job is to stop the downward spiral, and that means putting money into consumers' pockets. It means loosening up credit. (translation: more bad loans)

It means putting forward investments that not only employ people immediately, but also lay the groundwork for long-term economic growth.

And -- and that, by the way, is important, even if you're a fiscal conservative, because the biggest problem we're going to have with our federal budget is if we continue a situation in which there are no tax revenues because economic growth is plummeting at the same time as we've got more demands for unemployment insurance, we've got more demands for people who have lost their health care (good thing you're lowering the requirements for federal healthcare, then, huh?), more demand for food stamps. That will put enormous strains on the federal budget, as well as the state budget. (blah, blah, blah, talking out his ass).

So the most important thing we can do for our budget crisis right now is to make sure that the economy doesn't continue to tank. And that's why passing the economic recovery plan is the right thing to do, even though I recognize that it's expensive.

Look, I -- I would love not to have to spend money right now. I'd love -- you know, this notion that somehow I came in here just ginned up to spend $800 billion, you know, I mean, that wasn't -- that wasn't -- that wasn't how I envisioned my presidency beginning (Your campaign promises would suggest otherwise). But we have to adapt to existing circumstances.

Now, what we are going to also have to do is to make sure that, as soon as the economy stabilizes, investment begins again, we're no longer contracting but we're growing, that our mid-term and long-term budget is dealt with, and I think the same is true for individual consumers. (translation: I'm going to tell people how to spend their money. Oh, what the hell, just give it to me, I know better how to spend it than you do)

Right now, they're -- they're just trying to figure out, how do I make sure that, if I lose my job, you know, I'm still going to be able to make my mortgage payments? Or they're worried about, how am I going to pay next month's bills? So they're not engaging in a lot of long-term financial planning.

Once the economy stabilizes and people are less fearful, then I do think that we're going to have to start thinking (OMG, not thinking! Hey, look there! It's a CATASTROPHE! STAY FEARFUL SO I CAN BLAME YOU FEARFUL PEOPLE!) ,about, how do we operate more prudently? Because there's no such thing as a free lunch. (There are, however, such things as free abortions, on me. You wanna check out the oval office, baby? The rug under my desk is reeeal niiiice.)

So if -- if you want to get -- if you want to buy a house, then putting zero down and buying a house that is probably not affordable for you in case something goes wrong, that's something that has to be reconsidered. So we're going to have to change our -- our bad habits.

But right now, the key is making sure that we pull ourselves out of the economic slump that we're in.

All right, Julianna Goldman, Bloomberg?

Question: Thank you, Mr. President. Many experts, from Nouriel Roubini to Sen. [Chuck] Schumer [D-New York], have said that it will cost the government more than $1 trillion to really fix the financial system. During the campaign, you promised the American people that you won't just tell them what they want to hear, but what they need to hear.

Won't the government need far more than the $350 billion that's remaining in the financial rescue funds to really solve the credit crisis? (another decent question. *is shocked*)

Obama: Well, the credit crisis is real, and it's not over. We averted catastrophe (I thought the catastrophe was still on its way?) by passing the TARP legislation. But, as I said before, because of a lack of clarity and consistency in how it was applied, a lack of oversight in -- in how the money went out, we didn't get as big of a bang for the buck as we should have. (translation: socialism FAIL)

My immediate task is making sure that the second half of that money, $350 billion, is spent properly. That's my first job. Before I even think about what else I've got to do, my first task is to make sure that my secretary of the treasury, Tim Geithner, working with Larry Summers, my national economic adviser, and others are coming up with the best possible plan to use this money wisely in a way that's transparent, in a way that provides clear oversight, that we are conditioning any money that we give to banks on them reducing executive compensation to reasonable levels and to make sure that they're not wasting that money. (Buck pass one, redux)

We are going to have to work with the banks in an effective way to clean up their balance sheets (O hai there, national banking system) so that some trust is restored within the marketplace, because right now part of the problem is that nobody really knows what's on the bank's books (But we really want to find out so we can take their monies). Any given bank, they're not sure what kinds of losses are there. We've got to open things up and restore some trust.

We also have to deal with the housing issue in a clear and consistent way.

I don't want to pre-empt my secretary of the treasury. He's going to be laying out these principles in great detail tomorrow. (Third time's the charm?)

But my instruction to him has been: Let's get this right. Let's create a template in which we're restoring market confidence.

And the reason that's so important is because we don't know yet whether we're going to need additional money or how much additional money we'll need until we've seen how successful we are at restoring a sense of confidence in the marketplace that the federal government and the Federal Reserve Bank and the FDIC, working in concert, know what they're doing.

That can make a big difference in terms of whether or not we attract private capital back into the marketplace. And ultimately the government cannot substitute for all the private capital that has been withdrawn from the system. We've got to restore confidence so that private capital goes back in. (And then we takes it for MEEEEEEE! /Gollum)

OK. Jake?

Question: Thank you, Mr. President. My question follows Julianna's in -- in content. The American people have seen hundreds of billions of dollars spent already, and still the economy continues to freefall.

Beyond avoiding the national catastrophe that you've warned about, once all the legs of your stool are in place...

Obama: Right.

Question: ... how can the American people gauge whether or not your programs are working? Can they -- should they be looking at the metric of the stock market, home foreclosures, unemployment? What metric should they use when and how will they know if it's working or whether or not we need to go to a Plan B?

Obama: I think my initial measure of success is creating or saving 4 million jobs. (read: you'll just have to trust me. Bwahahaha) That's bottom line number one, because, if people are working, then they've got enough confidence to make purchases, to make investments. Businesses start seeing that consumers are out there with a little more confidence, and they start making investments, which means they start hiring workers. So step number one: job creation.

Step number two: Are we seeing the credit markets operate effectively? You know, I can't tell you how many businesses that I talk to that are successful businesses but just can't get credit.

Part of the problem in Elkhart that I heard about today was the fact that -- this is the R.V. [recreational vehicle] capital of America. You've got a bunch of R.V. companies that have customers who want to purchase R.V.s, but even though their credit is good, they can't get the loan. (NOBODY NEEDS A FUCKING RV. How about we save that loan capital for things people NEED?)

Now, the businesses also can't get loans to make payments to their suppliers. But when they have consumers, consumers can't get the loans that they need. So normalizing the credit markets is, I think, step number two.

Step number three is going to be housing. Have we stabilized the housing market? Now, you know, the federal government doesn't have complete control over that (yet), but if our plan is effective, working with the Federal Reserve Bank, working with the FDIC, I think what we can do is stem the rate of foreclosure and we can start stabilizing housing values over time.

And the most -- the -- the biggest measure of success is whether we stop contracting and shedding jobs and we start growing again.

Now, you know, I don't have a crystal ball. And as I said, this is an unprecedented crisis (no, it really isn't. Education, get you some. Search WIKI, ffs.) But my hope is that after a difficult year -- and this year is going to be a difficult year -- that businesses start investing again, they start making decisions that, you know, in fact, there's money to be made out there, customers or consumers start feeling that their jobs are stable and safe, and they start making purchases again, and, if we get things right, then, starting next year, we can start seeing significant improvement. (In the mean time, we're going to spend like there's no tomorrow).

Ed Henry. Where's Ed? CNN, there he is.

Question: Thank you, Mr. President. You've promised to send more troops to Afghanistan. And since you've been very clear about a timetable to withdraw combat troops from Iraq within 16 months, I wonder, what's your timetable to withdraw troops eventually from Afghanistan?

And related to that, there's a Pentagon policy that bans media coverage of the flag-draped coffins from coming in to Dover Air Force Base. And back in 2004, then-Sen. Joe Biden said that it was shameful for dead soldiers to be, quote, "snuck back into the country under the cover of night."

You've promised unprecedented transparency, openness in your government. Will you overturn that policy so the American people can see the full human cost of war?

Obama: Your question is timely. We got reports that four American service members have been killed in Iraq today. And, you know, obviously, our thoughts and prayers go out to the families. (I think they'd be better off without your brand of "Christian" prayer.)

I've said before that -- you know, people have asked me, when did it hit you that you are now president? And what I told them was the most sobering moment is signing (not writing, I notice) letters to the families of our fallen heroes. It reminds you of the responsibilities that you carry in this office and -- and the consequences of the decisions that you make.

Now, with respect to the policy of opening up media to loved ones being brought back home, we are in the process of reviewing those policies in conversations with the Department of Defense, so I don't want to give you an answer now before I've evaluated that review and understand all the implications involved. (read: Petraeus will kick my ass if I even try to turn the transportation of fallen heroes into a bedia circus)

With respect to Afghanistan, this is going to be a big challenge. I think, because of the extraordinary work done by our troops and some very good diplomatic work done by Ambassador [Ryan] Crocker in Iraq, we just saw an election in Iraq that went relatively peacefully and you get a sense that the political system is now functioning in a meaningful way. (But wait, I thought the war was a failure and a waste of money and a civil war that was none of our business? What changed in the past three we-- oh, yeah.)

You do not see that yet in Afghanistan. They've got elections coming up, but effectively the national government seems very detached from what's going on in the surrounding community.

In addition, you've got the Taliban and al Qaeda operating in the FATA [Federally Administered Tribal Areas] and these border regions between Afghanistan and Pakistan. And what we haven't seen is the kind of concerted effort to root out those safe havens that would ultimately make our mission successful. (Apparently Bush is expected to have and make use of a crystal ball)

So we are undergoing a thorough going review. Not only is Gen. [David] Petraeus -- now the head of CENTCOM -- conducting his own review; he's now working in concert with the special envoy that I've sent over, Richard Holbrooke, one of our top diplomats, to evaluate a regional approach.

We are going to need more effective coordination of our military efforts, with diplomatic efforts, with development efforts, with more effective coordination with our allies in order for us to be successful.

The bottom line though -- and I just want to remember the American people, because this is going to be difficult -- is this is a situation in which a region served as the base to launch an attack that killed 3,000 Americans.

And this past week, I met with families of those who were lost in 9/11, a reminder of the costs of allowing those safe havens to exist.

My bottom line is that we cannot allow al Qaeda to operate. We cannot have those safe havens in that region. And we're going to have to work both smartly and effectively, but with consistency in order to make sure that those safe havens don't exist.

I do not have yet a timetable for how long that's going to take. What I know is I'm not going to make -- I'm not going to allow al Qaeda or [Osama] bin Laden to operate with impunity, planning attacks on the U.S. homeland. (So, timetables for unpredictable military circumstances are... NOT the fad now? Gee, I guess I'm still living in 2008)

All right. Helene Cooper. Where's Helene? There you are.

Question: Thank you, sir. I wanted to ask you, on the next bank bailout, are you going to impose a requirement that the financial institutions use this money to loosen up credit and make new lending? And if not, how do you make the case to the American people that this bailout will work when the last one didn't?

Obama: Again, Helene -- and I'm trying to avoid pre-empting my secretary of the treasury. I want all of you to show up at his press conference, as well. He's going to be terrific. (Four! Four buck passes! Ah ah ah ah! /Count)

But this relates to Jake's earlier question. One of my bottom lines is whether or not credit is flowing to the people who need it. Is it flowing to banks -- excuse me. (LOL. Fruedian slip?) Is it flowing to businesses, large and small? Is it flowing to consumers? Are they able to operate in ways that translate into jobs and economic growth on Main Street?

And the package that we've put together is designed to help do that. (Are you on SHROOMS???) And beyond that, I'm going to make sure that Tim gets his moment in the sun tomorrow. (Five, canq, cinco, quintus...)

All right. Major Garrett, where's Major?

Question: Mr. President, at a speech Friday that many of us covered, Vice President Biden said the following thing about a conversation the two of you had in the Oval Office about a subject he didn't disclose.

"If we do everything right, if we do it with absolute certainty, if we stand up there and we really make the tough decisions, there's still a 30 percent chance we're going to get it wrong."

Since the vice president brought it up, can you tell the American people, sir, what you were talking about? And if not, can you at least reassure them it wasn't the stimulus bill or the bank rescue plan and if, in general, you agree with that ratio of success, 30 percent failure, 70 percent success? (O, SNAPASAURUS REX!)

Obama: You know, I don't remember exactly what Joe was referring to... (big surprise..)

(LAUGHTER)

... not surprisingly. (lift bus, insert patsy) But let me try this out. I think what Joe may have been suggesting -- although I wouldn't put numerical -- I wouldn't ascribe any numerical percentage to any of this -- is that, given the magnitude of the challenges that we have, any single thing that we do is going to be part of the solution, not all of the solution. (WHAT? How does that follow?)

And as I said in my introductory remarks, not everything we do is going to work out exactly as we intended it to work out. You know, this is an unprecedented problem. (*channels Inigo yet again*)

And, you know, when you talk to economists, there's some general sense of how we're going to move forward. There's some strong consensus (o.0) about the need for a recovery package of a certain magnitude. There's a strong consensus that you shouldn't put all your eggs in one basket, all tax cuts or all investment, but that there should be a range of approaches.

But even if we do everything right on that, we've still got to deal with what we just talked about, the financial system, and making sure that banks are lending again. We're still going to have to deal with housing. We're still going to have to make sure that we've got a regulatory structure, a regulatory architecture for the financial system that prevents crises like this from occurring again.

Now, those are big, complicated tasks. So I don't know whether Joe was referring to that, but I used that as a launching point to make a general point about these issues.

Question: (off mic)

Obama: I have no idea. I really don't.

Michael Fletcher from the Washington Post?

Question: Yes, thank you, sir. What is your reaction to Alex Rodriguez's admission that he used steroids as a member of the Texas Rangers?(Me:WHAT THE FUCK? ARE YOU SERIOUS? Obama's thoughts: *thank you, thank you, you vapid minority sheep of a reporter*)

Obama: You know, I think it's depressing news on top of what's been a flurry of depressing items when it comes to Major League Baseball. And if you're a fan of Major League Baseball, I think it -- it tarnishes an entire era, to some degree. (TO SOME DEGREE? This guy doesn't even make sense when talking about sports crap. You can't even get a solid opinionfrom him as simple as "drugs are bad." Maybe he really is on shrooms...) And it's unfortunate, because I think there are a lot of ballplayers who played it straight.

And, you know, the thing I'm probably most concerned about is the message it sends to our kids. What I'm pleased about is Major League Baseball seems to finally be taking this seriously, to recognize how big a problem this is for the sport, and that our kids hopefully are watching and saying, "You know what? There are no shortcuts, that when you try to take shortcuts, you may (may?) end up tarnishing your entire career, and that your integrity's not worth it." That's the message I hope is communicated.

All right. Helen? This is my inaugural moment here.

(LAUGHTER)

I'm really excited.

Question: Mr. President, do you think that Pakistan and -- are maintaining the safe havens in Afghanistan for these so-called terrorists? And, also, do you know of any country in the Middle East that has nuclear weapons? (This bitch is fucking senile... I honestly think they made this part of the transcript up, because I could have sworn she did not say anything that made any sense. ALLEGED TERRORISTS? IS THIS BITCH ON ACID???)

Obama: Well, I think that Pakistan -- there is no doubt that, in the FATA region of Pakistan, in the mountainous regions along the border of Afghanistan, that there are safe havens where terrorists are operating.

And one of the goals of Ambassador Holbrooke, as he is traveling throughout the region, is to deliver a message to Pakistan that they are endangered as much as we are by the continuation of those operations and that we've got to work in a regional fashion to root out those safe havens.

It's not acceptable for Pakistan(Where the hell is "Pockystawn"?) or for us (!?!?!?!?!) to have folks who, with impunity, will kill innocent men, women and children (IS HE ON PEYOTE??? If only one of those "innocents" would place an IED where it might do some good...). And, you know, I -- I believe that the new government of Pakistan and -- and Mr. [President Asif Ali] Zardari cares deeply about getting control of the situation. We want to be effective partners with them on that issue.

Question: (off mic)

Obama: Well, Mr. Holbrooke is there, and that's exactly why he's being sent there, because I think that we have to make sure that Pakistan is a stalwart ally with us in battling this terrorist threat.

With respect to nuclear weapons, you know, I don't want to speculate. What I know is this: that if we see a nuclear arms race in a region as volatile as the Middle East, everybody will be in danger.

And one of my goals is to prevent nuclear proliferation generally. I think that it's important for the United States, in concert with Russia, to lead the way on this.

And, you know, I've mentioned this in conversations with the Russian president, Mr. [Dmitry] Medvedev, to let him know that it is important for us to restart the -- the conversations about how we can start reducing our nuclear arsenals in an effective way so that...

(CROSSTALK)

Obama: ... so that we then have the standing to go to other countries and start stitching back together the nonproliferation treaties that, frankly, have been weakened over the last several years. OK.

Question: Why do you have to speculate on who has...

(CROSSTALK)

Obama: All right.

Sam Stein, Huffington Post. ( o.0 I don't have a font big enough for these googly eyes...) Where's Sam? Here. Go ahead.

Question: Thank you, Mr. President. Today, Sen. Patrick Leahy [D-Vermont] announced that he wants to set up a truth and reconciliation committee to investigate the misdeeds of the Bush administration. He said that, before you turn the page, you have to read the page first.

Do you agree with such a proposal? And are you willing to rule out right here and now any prosecution of Bush administration officials? (Typical Huff Post. Bastards.)

Obama: I haven't seen the proposals, so I don't want to express an opinion on something that I haven't seen.

What I have said is that my administration is going to operate in a way that leaves no doubt that we do not torture (pussy), that we abide by the Geneva Conventions (DUDE, for the LAST TIME, the GCs do NOT apply to unaffiliated terrorist groups.), and that we observe our traditions of rule of law and due process, as we are vigorously going after terrorists that can do us harm. And I don't think those are contradictory; I think they are potentially complementary.

My view is also that nobody's above the law and, if there are clear instances of wrongdoing, that people should be prosecuted just like any ordinary citizen.

But that, generally speaking, I'm more interested in looking forward than I am in looking backwards. I want to pull everybody together, including, by the way, the -- all the members of the intelligence community who have done things the right way and have been working hard to protect America and I think sometimes are painted with a broad brush without adequate information. (Did he just... nah. Couldn't be.)

So I will take a look at Sen. Leahy's proposal, but my general orientation is to say let's get it right moving forward.

Mara Liasson?

Question: Thank you, Mr. President. If it's this hard to get more than a handful of Republican votes on what is relatively easy -- spending tons of money and cutting people's taxes -- when you look down the road at health care, and entitlement reform, and energy reform, those are really tough choices. You're going to be asking some people to get less and some people to pay more.

What do you think you're going to have to do to get more bipartisanship? Are you going to need a new legislative model, bringing in Republicans from the very beginning, getting more involved in the details yourself from the beginning, or using bipartisan commissions? What has this experience with the stimulus led you to think about when you think about these future challenges?

Obama: Well, as I said before, Mara, I think that old habits are hard to break. (What drug gag am I on now? I think I ran out of hallucinogens back at Pockystawn) And we're coming off an election, and I think people want to sort of test the limits of -- of what they can get.

You know, there's a lot of jockeying in this town, and a lot of "who's up and who's down," and positioning for the next election.

And what I've tried to suggest is that this is one of those times where we've got to put that kind of behavior aside, because the American people can't afford it. The people in Elkhart can't afford it. The single mom who's trying to figure out how to keep her house can't afford it. (Won't somebody think of the CHILDREN???? /Mrs. Lovejoy)

And whether we're Democrats or Republicans, surely there's got to be some capacity for us to work together, not agree on everything, but at least set aside small differences (capitalism vs. socialism =/= "small" differences) to get things done.

Now, just in terms of the historic record here, the Republicans were brought in early and were consulted. And you'll remember that, when we initially introduced our framework, they were pleasantly surprised and complimentary about the tax cuts that were presented in that framework. Those tax cuts are still in there. (And... that's the only thing any of us will ever like about it).

I mean, I suppose what I could have done is started off with no tax cuts, knowing that I was going to want some, and then let them take credit for all of them, and maybe that's the lesson I learned. (WTF? Did he just basically call us attention whores? I would make a pot and kettle gag, but apparently we aren't allowed to talk about people being black) But there was consultation; there will continue to be consultation.

One thing that I think is important is to recognize that, because all these -- all these items that you listed are hard, that people have to break out of some of the ideological rigidity and gridlock that we've been carrying around for too long. And let me give you a prime example.

When it comes to how we approach the issue of fiscal responsibility, again, it's a little hard for me to take criticism from folks about this recovery package after they've presided over a doubling of the national debt. (So... we should be ignoring Democrats' opinions? Don't need to tell me that) I'm not sure they have a lot of credibility when it comes to fiscal responsibility. (*gouges his bipartisan eyes out*)

Having said that, I think there are a lot of Republicans who are sincere in recognizing that, unless we deal with entitlements in a serious way, the problems we have with this year's deficit and next year's deficit pale in comparison to what we're going to be seeing 10 or 15 years or 20 years down the road.

Both Democrats and Republicans are going to have to think differently in order to come together and solve that problem. I think there are areas like education where some in my party have been too resistant to reform and have argued only money makes a difference.

And there have been others on the Republican side or the conservative side who said, "No matter how much money you spend, nothing makes a difference, so let's just blow up the public school systems." (Did he just insinuate that we are terrorists?)

And I think that both sides are going to have to acknowledge we're going to need more money for new science labs, to pay teachers more effectively, but we're also going to need more reform, which means that we've got to train teachers more effectively, bad teachers need to be fired after being given the opportunity to train effectively, that we should experiment with things like charter schools that are innovating in the classroom, that we should have high standards.

So my whole goal over the next four years is to make sure that, whatever arguments are persuasive and backed up by evidence and facts and proof that they can work (So... not yours?), that we are pulling people together around that kind of pragmatic agenda.

And I think that there was an opportunity to do this with this recovery package, because, as I said, although there are some politicians who are arguing that we don't need a stimulus, there are very few economists who are making that argument.

I mean, you've got economists who were advising [Sen.] John McCain [2008 Republican presidential candidate], economists who were advisers to George Bush, one and two, all suggesting that we actually needed a serious recovery package.

And so when I hear people just saying, "Ah, we don't need to do anything," "This is a spending bill, not a stimulus bill," without acknowledging that, by definition, part of any stimulus package would include spending -- that's the point -- then what I get a sense of is, is that there's some ideological blockage there that needs to be cleared up.

But I am the eternal ~~optimist~~ egotist. I think that, over time, people respond to civility and -- and rational argument (How would YOU know? Ever tried it?). I think that's what the people of Elkhart and the people around America are looking for. And that's what I'm -- that's the kind of leadership I'm going to try to provide.

As promised, Obamoronic press conference (part one)-- Un-flocked for your linking pleasure.

rightsaidred — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 09:46:37 GMT

President Obama: Good evening, everybody. Please be seated.

Before I take your questions tonight, I'd like to speak briefly (LIAR) about the state of our economy and why I believe we need to put this recovery plan in motion as soon as possible. (Because you're an idiot. That didn't take long to explain.)

I took a trip to Elkhart, Indiana, today. Elkhart is a place that has lost jobs faster than anywhere else in America. In one year, the unemployment rate went from 4.7 percent to 15.3 percent. Companies that have sustained this community for years are shedding jobs at an alarming speed, and the people who've lost them have no idea what to do or who to turn to. (They should look to you to make it all better, of course. Good luck with that. But when the chips fall and this things fails, it will be the fault of 35 Republicans)

They can't pay their bills. They've stopped spending money. And because they've stopped spending money, more businesses have been forced to lay off more workers. In fact, local TV stations have started running public service announcements to tell people where to find food banks, even as the food banks don't have enough to meet the demand.

As we speak, similar scenes are playing out in cities and towns across America. Last Monday, more than 1,000 men and women stood in line for 35 firefighter jobs in Miami [Florida]. Last month, our economy lost 598,000 jobs, which is nearly the equivalent of losing every single job in the state of Maine. (How many lobster fishermen do we need, anyway?)

And if there's anyone out there who still doesn't believe this constitutes a full-blown crisis, I suggest speaking to one of the millions of Americans whose lives have been turned upside-down because they don't know where their next paycheck is coming from.

And that is why the single most important part of this economic recovery and reinvestment plan is the fact that it will save or create up to 4 million jobs, because that's what America needs most right now. (Riiiiiight. Show me where. Oh, you haven't had time to read all 600 pages in your three weeks as president? Big surprise. You don't have a fucking clue what's in this bill, do you?)

It is absolutely true that we can't depend on government alone to create jobs or economic growth. That is and must be the role of the private sector. But at this particular moment, with the private sector so weakened by this recession, the federal government is the only entity left with the resources to jolt our economy back into life. (Or completely fuck it -- oh, wait. Right. Old news.)

It is only government that can break the vicious cycle, where lost jobs lead to people spending less money, which leads to even more layoffs. And breaking that cycle is exactly what the plan that's moving through Congress is designed to do.

When passed, this plan will ensure that Americans who've lost their jobs through no fault of their own (and who determines fault, hmmm? How do you distinguish, from a practical standpoint, the deservedly unemployed from the victims? You can't.) can receive greater unemployment benefits and continue their health care coverage.

We'll also provide a $2,500 tax credit to folks who are struggling to pay the costs of their college tuition (um, hello, this is what student loans are for?) and $1,000 worth of badly needed tax relief to working- and middle-class families. These steps will put more money in the pockets of those Americans who are most likely to spend it (on their bills, honey, not on consumer goods), and that will help break the cycle and get our economy moving.

But as we've learned very clearly and conclusively over the last eight years, tax cuts alone can't solve all of our economic problems, especially tax cuts that are targeted to the wealthiest few Americans (Are you on CRACK??? They got the biggest cut by dollar amount, not by percentage. I thought you wanted to create jobs, ashole.). We have tried that strategy time and time again, and it's only helped lead us to the crisis we face right now.

And that's why we have come together around a plan that combines hundreds of billions in tax cuts for the middle class with direct investment in areas like health care, energy, education, and infrastructure, investments that will save jobs, create new jobs and new businesses, and help our economy grow again, now and in the future. (Yet he doesn't seem able to explain how...)

More than 90 percent of the jobs created by this plan will be in the private sector. They're not going to be make-work jobs, but jobs doing the work that America desperately needs done: jobs rebuilding our crumbling roads and bridges, repairing our dangerously deficient dams and levees so that we don't face another Katrina. (FUCK NEW ORLEANS. They refused for 20 years to fix their levees despite the advice of military engineers.)

They'll be jobs building the wind turbines and solar panels and fuel-efficient cars (Who is going to buy them?) that will lower our dependence on foreign oil and modernizing our costly health care system that will save us billions of dollars and countless lives. (But only for young people. Oh, and by saving lives, we aren't counting the unborn.)

They'll be jobs creating the 21st-century classrooms, libraries, and labs for millions of children across America. And they'll be the jobs of firefighters and teachers and police officers that would otherwise be eliminated if we do not provide states with some relief.

Now, after many weeks of debate and discussion, the plan that ultimately emerges from Congress must be big enough and bold enough to meet the size of the economic challenges that we face right now.

It's a plan that is already supported by businesses representing almost every industry in America, by both the Chamber of Commerce and the AFL-CIO. (oh, well if the unions are for it...) It contains input, ideas and compromises from both Democrats and Republicans.

It also contains an unprecedented level of transparency and accountability so that every American will be able to go online and see where and how we're spending every dime. What it does not contain, however, is a single pet project, not a single earmark, and it has been stripped of the projects members of both parties found most objectionable (Not a single...Jigga what? This brutha be trippin', y'all)

Now, despite all of this, the plan's not perfect. No plan is. I can't tell you for sure that everything in this plan will work exactly as we hoped, but I can tell you with complete confidence that a failure to act will only deepen this crisis, as well as the pain felt by millions of Americans.

Now, my administration inherited a deficit of over $1 trillion, but because we also inherited the most profound economic emergency since the Great Depression (No... you really didn't), doing little or nothing at all will result in even greater deficits (How does not spending money increase deficits...?), even greater job loss, even greater loss of income, and even greater loss of confidence.

Those are deficits that could turn a crisis into a catastrophe (Alliteration>accuracy), and I refuse to let that happen. As long as I hold this office, I will do whatever it takes (Anyone else think that sounds ominous?) to put this economy back on track and put this country back to work.

I want to thank the members of Congress who've worked so hard to move this plan forward (translation: fuck you dirty rotten Republican bastards... and Lieberman), but I also want to urge all members of Congress to act without delay in the coming week to resolve their differences and pass this plan.

We find ourselves in a rare moment where the citizens of our country and all countries are watching and waiting for us to lead. It's a responsibility that this generation did not ask for, but one ~~that we must accept for~~ I will gladly use as an excuse to mortgage the future of our children and our grandchildren.

The strongest democracies flourish from frequent and lively debate, but they endure when people of every background and belief find a way to set aside smaller differences in service of a greater purpose. That's the test facing the United States of America in this winter of our hardship (my discontent), and it is our duty as leaders and citizens to stay true to that purpose in the weeks and months ahead.

After a day of speaking with and listening to the fundamentally decent men and women who call this nation home, I have full faith and confidence that we can do it (Dude, the campaign's over), but we're going to have to work together. That's what I intend to promote in the weeks and days ahead.

And with that, I'll take some of your questions.

And let me go to Jennifer Loven at [The Associated Press]. There you go.

Question: Thank you, Mr. President. Earlier today in Indiana, you said something striking. You said that this nation could end up in a crisis without action that we would be unable to reverse.

Can you talk about what you know or what you're hearing that would lead you to say that our recession might be permanent when others in our history have not? And do you think that you risk losing some credibility or even talking down the economy by using dire language like that? (Hahahaha! Wow, that's actually not a bad question. *slightly raises estimation of AP*)

Obama: No, no, no, no. I think that what I've said is what other economists have said across the political spectrum, which is that, if you delay acting on an economy of this severity, then you potentially create a negative spiral that becomes much more difficult for us to get out of. (um... no you said unable, dude. Sucks getting called on your fear-mongering bullshit, dunnit?)

We saw this happen in Japan in the 1990s, where they did not act boldly and swiftly enough (You mean when they implemented a plan just like this one that failed miserably?) and, as a consequence, they suffered what was called the lost decade, where essentially, for the entire '90s, they did not see any significant economic growth.

So what I'm trying to underscore is what the people in Elkhart already understand, that this is not your ordinary, run-of-the-mill recession. We are going through the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression. (You keep using that phrase... /Inigo)

We've lost now 3.6 million jobs, but what's perhaps even more disturbing is that almost half of that job loss has taken place over the last three months (you mean since you and your sycophantic legislative goons were elected? O SNAP!), which means that the problems are accelerating instead of getting better. (I wonder why...)

Now, what I said in Elkhart today is what I repeat this evening, which is, I'm absolutely confident that we can solve this problem, but it's going to require us to take some significant, important steps.

Step number one: We have to pass an economic recovery and reinvestment plan. And we've made progress. There was a vote this evening that moved the process forward in the Senate. We already have a House bill that's passed. I'm hoping, over the next several days, that the House and the Senate can reconcile their differences and get that bill on my desk.

There have been criticisms from a bunch of different directions about this bill, so let me just address a few of them.

Some of the criticisms really are with the basic idea that government should intervene at all in this moment of crisis. Now, you have some people, very sincere, who philosophically just think the government has no business interfering in the marketplace. And, in fact, there are several who've suggested that FDR [President Roosevelt] was wrong to interfere back in the New Deal. They're fighting battles that I thought were resolved a pretty long time ago. (I think we're still dealing with the aftermath, dude. If you had been raised in the US and actually studied our history, you would know that.)

Most economists (most economists where?) almost unanimously recognize that, even if philosophically you're -- you're wary of government intervening in the economy, when you have the kind of problem we have right now -- what started on Wall Street, goes to Main Street, suddenly businesses can't get credit, they start paring back their investment, they start laying off workers, workers start pulling back in terms of spending -- that, when you have that situation, that government is an important element of introducing some additional demand into the economy.

We stand to lose about $1 trillion worth of demand this year and another trillion next year. And what that means is you've got this gaping hole in the economy.

That's why the figure that we initially came up with of approximately $800 billion was put forward. That wasn't just some random number that I plucked out of -- out of ~~a hat~~ my ass. (Could have fooled me...) That was Republican and Democratic, conservative and liberal economists that I spoke to who indicated that, given the magnitude of the crisis and the fact that it's happening worldwide, it's important for us to have a bill of sufficient size and scope that we can save or create 4 million jobs.

That still means that you're going to have some net job loss, but at least we can start slowering (Bwahahaha! SLOWERING! But he's soooooo articulate (and clean!)! Smirky McHairplugs says so!) the trend and moving it in the right direction.

Now, the recovery and reinvestment package is not the only thing we have to do. It's one leg of the stool (translation: we still need to spend another 2.4 trillion). We are still going to have to make sure that we are attracting private capital, get the credit markets flowing again, because that's the lifeblood of the economy.

And so tomorrow my treasury secretary, Tim Geithner, will be announcing some very clear and specific plans for how we are going to start loosening up credit once again. (aaaand the buck is passed).

And that means having some transparency and oversight in the system. It means that we correct some of the mistakes with TARP [Troubled Asset Relief Program] that were made earlier, the lack of consistency, the lack of clarity, in terms of how the program was going to move forward.

It means that we condition taxpayer dollars that are being provided to banks on them showing some restraint when it comes to executive compensation, not using the money to charter corporate jets when they're not necessary. (Because executives of multi-billion dollar companies don't really do anything to deserve money, or privileges, or, you know, respect as human beings. Greedy capitalist pigs that they are.)

It means that we focus on housing and how are we going to help homeowners that are suffering foreclosure or homeowners who are still making their mortgage payments, but are seeing their property values decline. (translation:we are going to subsidize more loans to people who can't afford them).

So there are going to be a whole range of approaches that we have to take for dealing with the economy. My bottom line is to make sure that we are saving or creating 4 million jobs (where is he getting this magic number???), we are making sure that the financial system is working again, that homeowners are getting some relief.

And I'm happy to get good ideas from across the political spectrum, from Democrats and Republicans. (See how "good" instantly negates "Republicans" in newspeak so he isn't technically lying?) What I won't do is return to the failed theories of the last eight years that got us into this fix in the first place, because those theories have been tested, and they have failed. And that's what part of the election in November was all about. (It totally wasn't about racial politics. Or sexism. Or marketing campaigns with catchy jargon.)

OK. Karen Boeing (ph) of Reuters?

Question: Thank you, Mr. President. I'd like to shift gears to foreign policy. What is your strategy for engaging Iran? And when will you start to implement it? Will your timetable be affected at all by the Iranian elections? And are you getting any indications that Iran is interested in a dialogue with the United States? (WTF does this have to do with the porkulus bill??)

Obama: I said during the campaign that Iran is a country that has extraordinary people, extraordinary history and traditions, but that its actions over many years now have been unhelpful (UNHELPFUL??? Of all the words he could have used to describe Iran, he chooses UNHELPFUL???) when it comes to promoting peace and prosperity both in the region and around the world, that their attacks -- or their -- their financing of terrorist organizations like Hezbollah and Hamas, the bellicose (ooo good word. still doesn't make up for "slowering" Bwahahaha. Gets me every time. Teehee.) language that they've used towards Israel, their development of a nuclear weapon (just the one?) or their pursuit of a nuclear weapon, that all those things create the possibility of destabilizing the region and are not only contrary to our interests, but I think are contrary to the interests of international peace.

What I've also said is that we should take an approach with Iran that employs all of the resources at the United States' disposal, and that includes diplomacy.

And so my national security team is currently reviewing our existing Iran policy, looking at areas where we can have constructive dialogue, where we can directly engage with them. (buck pass numero dos)

And my expectation is, in the coming months, we will be looking for openings that can be created where we can start sitting across the table, face-to-face diplomatic overtures, that will allow us to move our policy in a new direction.

There's been a lot of mistrust built up over the years (How dare we frighten the poor innocent terrorists! For shame, America!) , so it's not going to happen overnight. And it's important that, even as we engage in this direct diplomacy, we are very clear about certain deep concerns that we have as a country, that Iran understands that we find the funding of terrorist organizations unacceptable, that we're clear about the fact that a nuclear Iran could set off a nuclear arms race in the region that would be profoundly destabilizing. (Um, us thinking that is the reason they're doing it, jackass. UR a n00b at this fear-rhetoric. They're old pros.)

So there are going to be a set of objectives that we have in these conversations, but I think that there's the possibility at least of a relationship of mutual respect and progress.

And I think that, if you look at how we've approached the Middle East, my designation of George Mitchell as a special envoy to help deal with the Arab-Israeli situation, some of the interviews that I've given, it indicates the degree to which we want to do things differently in the region.

Now it's time for Iran to send some signals that it wants to act differently, as well, and recognize that, even as it has some rights as a member of the international community, with those rights come responsibilities.

OK. Chip Reid?

Question: Thank you, Mr. President. You have often said that bipartisanship is extraordinarily important, overall and in this stimulus package, but now, when we ask your advisers about the lack of bipartisanship so far -- zero votes in the House, three in the Senate -- they say, "Well, it's not the number of votes that matters; it's the number of jobs that will be created." (i.e., we have a majority, we don't need bipartisanship).

Is that a sign that you are moving away -- your White House is moving away from this emphasis on bipartisanship?

And what went wrong? Did you underestimate how hard it would be to change the way Washington works?

Obama: Well, I don't think -- I don't think I underestimated it. I don't think the -- the American people underestimated it. They understand that there have been a lot of bad habits built up here in Washington, and it's going to take time to break down some of those bad habits. (Does that mean you're going to give up smoking?)

You know, when I made a series of overtures to the Republicans, going over to meet with both Republican caucuses, you know, putting three Republicans in my cabinet -- something that is unprecedented (no, it really isn't. ass.) -- making sure that they were invited here to the White House to talk about the economic recovery plan, all those were not designed simply to get some short-term votes. *snort* They were designed to try to build up some trust over time.

And I think that, as I continue to make these overtures, over time, hopefully that will be reciprocated.

But understand the bottom line that I've got right now, which is what's happening to the people of Elkhart and what's happening across the country. I can't afford to see Congress play the usual political games. What we have to do right now is deliver for the American people.

So my bottom line when it comes to the recovery package is: Send me a bill that creates or saves 4 million jobs. Because everybody has to be possessed with a sense of urgency about putting people back to work, making sure that folks are staying in their homes, that they can send their kids to college.

That doesn't negate the continuing efforts that I'm going to make to listen and engage with my Republican colleagues. And hopefully the tone that I've taken, which has been consistently civil and respectful (apparently telling adults what they're allowed to listen to on the radio is civil), will pay some dividends over the long term. There are going to be areas where we disagree, and there are going to be areas where we agree.

As I said, the one concern I've got on the stimulus package, in terms of the debate and listening to some of what's been said in Congress, is that there seems to be a set of folks who -- I don't doubt their sincerity -- who just believe that we should do nothing.

Now, if that's their opening position or their closing position in negotiations, then we're probably not going to make much progress, because I don't think that's economically sound and I don't think what -- that's what the American people expect, is for us to stand by and do nothing. (Desire=/=expectation. I EXPECT you to be the jackass that you are. Doesn't mean I like it).

There are others who recognize that we've got to do a significant recovery package, but they're concerned about the mix of what's in there. And if they're sincere about it, then I'm happy to have conversations about this tax cut versus that -- that tax cut or this infrastructure project versus that infrastructure project. (read: i don't want to talk about the healthcare bullshit I'm slipping in under the radar).

But what I've -- what I've been concerned about is some of the language that's been used suggesting that this is full of pork and this is wasteful government spending, so on and so forth. (I'd be concerned that people were calling me on my bullshit if I were you, too.)

First of all, when I hear that from folks who presided over a doubling of the national debt, then, you know, I just want them to not engage in some revisionist history. (Do as he says, not as he does, right?) I inherited the deficit that we have right now and the economic crisis that we have right now. (Me, me me. I, I, I.)

Number two is that, although there are some programs in there that I think are good policy, some of them aren't job-creators. I think it's perfectly legitimate to say that those programs should be out of this particular recovery package and we can deal with them later. (i.e., you just my pork, I'll just get it later anyway. pbbbbbt)

But when they start characterizing this as pork, without acknowledging that there are no earmarks in this package (*channels Inigo Montoya again*) -- something, again, that was pretty rare over the last eight years -- then you get a feeling that maybe we're playing politics instead of actually trying to solve problems for the American people. (My, but your bipartisan fingers are pointy. May I remind you that for the past four, YOUR party was in charge of legislation?)

So I'm going to keep on engaging. I hope that, as we get the Senate and the House bills together, that everybody is willing to give a little bit. I suspect that the package that emerges is not going to be 100 percent of what I want.

But my bottom line is, are we creating 4 million jobs? And are we laying the foundation for long-term economic growth?

This is another concern that I've had in some of the arguments that I'm hearing. When people suggest that, "What a waste of money to make federal buildings more energy-efficient." Why would that be a waste of money? (It's not the spending we need to be doing RIGHT NOW, you ASSHAT. No one is objecting to the idea in theory. And it's fucking expensive in the sort term. It takes a decade to see a return on the investment!)

We're creating jobs immediately by retrofitting these buildings or weatherizing 2 million Americans' homes, as was called for in the package, so that right there creates economic stimulus.

And we are saving taxpayers when it comes to federal buildings potentially $2 billion. In the case of homeowners, they will see more money in their pockets. And we're reducing our dependence on foreign oil in the Middle East. Why wouldn't we want to make that kind of investment?

Now, maybe philosophically you just don't think that the federal government should be involved in energy policy. I happen to disagree with that; I think that's the reason why we find ourselves importing more foreign oil now than we did back in the early '70s when OPEC first formed. (Wasn't there an oil SHORTAGE in the 70s? Perhaps that's why?)

And we can have a respectful debate about whether or not we should be involved in energy policymaking, but don't suggest that somehow that's wasteful spending. (insert groupthink) That's exactly what this country needs.

The same applies when it comes to information technologies in health care. We know that health care is crippling businesses and making us less competitive, as well as breaking the banks of families all across America. And part of the reason is, we've got the most inefficient health care system imaginable. (O RLY? I suppose age limits, three month waiting lists, and forced abortions are preferable?)

We're still using paper. We're still filing things in triplicate. Nurses can't read the prescriptions that doctors -- that doctors have written out. Why wouldn't we want to put that on -- put that on an electronic medical record that will reduce error rates (because computer error NEVER happens. It's not like anyone would EVER accidentally click on 100mg instead of 50mg in the little drop-down, or Percocet insetad of Penicillin), reduce our long-term costs of health care, and create jobs right now?

Education, yet another example. The suggestion is, why should the federal government be involved in school construction?

Well, I visited a school down in South Carolina that was built in the 1850s. (And you're living in a house even older that that. Your point?) Kids are still learning in that school, as best they can, when the -- when the railroad -- when the -- it's right next to a railroad. (Da Obama is ar-tickle-it. Someone give the man back his teleprompter, please). And when the train runs by, the whole building shakes and the teacher has to stop teaching for a while (a whole two minutes, tops? i grew up in a railroad town, it doesn't take long for a train to pass). The -- the auditorium is completely broken down; they can't use it. (My school didn't even HAVE an auditorium. We had to walk uphill both ways to the gym!)

So why wouldn't we want to build state-of-the-art schools with science labs that are teaching our kids the skills they need for the 21st century, that will enhance our economy (maybe, a decade from now...) , and, by the way, right now, will create jobs? (Someone's getting snippy without his nicotine fix...)

So, you know, we -- we can differ on some of the particulars, but, again, the question I think the American people are asking is, do you just want government to do nothing, or do you want it to do something? If you want it to do something, then we can have a conversation. But doing nothing, that's not an option from my perspective. (It's the "eat what I put on the table or starve, sonny!" argument).

rightsaidred — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 03:43:22 GMT

For those of you who wanted to see, here are some live pics of my bridesmaid dress. Understand, this is me without makeup, with my hair a mess and the dress unaltered. As it is, it's way too long! I'm only 5'3"! All things considered, including the fact that I can barely breathe in it, it looks pretty good. It looked betteri n the store in better lighting with my hair nice, though. Okay, full disclosure aside, on to the pics!

rightsaidred — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 01:10:25 GMT

Interesting day...

I went in at noon for poll challenger training. Very informative.

Then I went to campus to grab some stuff.

On my way home from there, the driver of the bus was apparently so offended by my very presence that she initiated a snarky one-sided conversation about the upcoming election. I believe her words were something like "You a McCain person, huh? November 4th is going to be a bad day for you. *smirk*"

If looks could kill, that woman would have dropped dead at the wheel and gotten us all killed. But she couldn't take a hint. She just kept digging, and I just kept glaring. And then as other people got on or off the bus she exchanged opinions on the election with them as I sat 2 feet away, looking over at me when she thought I wasn't looking.

I had had enough. I very pointedly checked the time, pulled out a pen and wrote down the bus number and route, and got off the bus. I would have had her badge number, but it wasn't visible (big no-no). I think she was on to me (/sarcasm) because she shouted her name at me as I got off. Not that I needed it when I called to lodge a complaint about her a minute later. According to the guy I talked to, MetroTransit employees are not to engage in political discussions while working. Period. Oops. Wonder how she's going to explain that to her supervisor when they review the surveilance tape.

Then I walked two blocks down from where I got off and got my real revenge. I walked into the government center and cast an early absentee ballot. Take that, bitch.

And then I went and bought these awesome, Palin-esque heels at Marshalls.

And now I am at the office, typing this while my Mythology students are downstairs in the lecture hall watching Fight Club, listening to PalinMix! 2008, a compilation album some girls in the palin_confusion cooked up.

Not a bad day.

rightsaidred — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 01:56:31 GMT

Woohoo! I made myself a new mood theme. :)

rightsaidred — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 18:14:53 GMT

I just had to specifically articulate a no-politics rule... on my friggin' doodlemutts community of all things. FFS, is nothing sacred? I don't give a fuck if Biden has a goldendoodle. That would make it the only thing we have in common...

Anyway, I issued a warning, deleted the post, and made a mod post stating the new rule. Wonder how long it will take before the member gets all angsty about me stifling her dissenting voice...

I just want one place in my flist that is drama-free, FFS.

ETA:

And now I had to ban someone for making a snarky political comment TO ME THE MOD in a MOD POST about political comments not being tolerated. *waves to petulant*

rightsaidred — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 14:48:15 GMT

I've had enough. This journal is, regrettably, going friends only, and I am conducting a major friends purge. Something about a friend of a friend coming to my journal and being an asshole... Apparently I'm not allowed to swear and rant in my own damn journal now? Anyway, if you don't want to be cut, plead your case here in the next 24 hours.

Why do people like this asshole again?

rightsaidred — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 04:40:24 GMT

http://www.nrlc.org/obamaBAIPA/WhitePaperAugust282008.html

This is utterly unconscionable. Just... no. And yet there are people in this world so morally bereft as to think this is okay.

Fucking liberal media

rightsaidred — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 19:10:00 GMT

http://newsbusters.org/blogs/p-j-gladnick/2008/09/13/abc-news-edited-out-key-parts-sarah-palin-interview

guilt post

rightsaidred — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 00:57:31 GMT

So the Cybele update, for those of you who care:

I'm finishing up my second week back at school. On the whole, things are going well, but there have been a few hiccups. First, my degree program got lost. WTF? And so now, mere months before I finish up, it is finally (I hope) on its way to the grad school. And Byron, 13 yr old bundle of sunshine and love that he is got kicked out of school on monday and nearly got us evicted for starting fires in the basement. Great, right? I know I'm thrilled. And in the market for a child shrink.

Other than that things are good. I'm not behind in any of my classes (yet). I'm doing early-morning yoga on Mondays at 7:45, not because I really believe in all that new age crap about psychic energy and aligning energies and certainly not because I love singing the "sunshine song", but because it will be good for my asthma and my joints and hopefully my sanity. I'm teaching mythology again, which is a bit of a disappointment, but that is going very well so far. I keep telling myself all I have to do is put nose to grindstone, finish my incompletes, and get through this semester with no emergencies (for once) and all will be well. Until I have to go and try to find a job. But I refuse to let myself think about that. Denial is sometimes healthy.

rightsaidred — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 18:03:54 GMT

Either I am having one hell of an allergy attack, or I have a sinus infection. I've been sinusy since Saturday (that sounds like a bad movie title) with occasional headache, frequent cough and abundant post-nasal drip. However, there's absolutely NO POINT in going to the health service until Monday, because they won't give you anything for a sinus infection unless you've been sick for a week or more. You go any sooner and they tell you it's a viral infection that will run its course. Bastards. I think I know a bit about sinus infections, having had them chronicly since the age of 8, and I know that while the initial cause of a sinus infection is a virus that inflames the sinus passages, the SYMPTOMS of the sinus infection (headache, pressure, etc.) are caused be a secondary bacterial infection due to the inability of the sinuses to drain off the bacteria. But what do I know, right? *sniffle*

rightsaidred — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 22:23:56 GMT

Currently reading the intro to Beeson's "Primer of Medieval Latin". And I thought I had a headache before. It's basically a list of all the ways that Medieval latin differs from Classical Latin. It's phrased very neutrally, e.g., "Words that do X in C.L. do Y in M.L." "X construction means N in C.L. but has the force of M in M.L." "A, B, C, and D are used synonymously in M.L."

What it all boils down to is that medieval writers just sucked at Latin. And it only got worse as time wore on, until the language was virtually unrecognizable.

So far as I read the list of offenses includes gems such as:

Nominative absolutes (what the hell is wrong with using the ablative?)
Substitution of the dative for every other case
pronouns used as definite articles
collapsing diphthongs

... I think my brain just broke.

rightsaidred — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 02:32:34 GMT

I commented in a metaquotes post that I find it strange and wrong to see nurses in large groups smoking outside the hospital every time I visit.

And some moron responds with a bullshit answer about how nursing is a stressful profession. LOL, WHUT?

You know what's REALLY stressful???

CANCER.
HEART DISEASE.
BIRTH DEFECTS.
ASTHMA (I ought to know).

How does ANYONE in this day and age, much less a HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONAL, think it is a bright idea to purposely inhale carcinogens??

PEOPLE ARE STUPID. There is no hope for humanity.

Probably TMI

rightsaidred — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 19:53:19 GMT

I've decided the coolest thing about wireless internet in my apartment is being able to take a potty break without pausing my game.

Writer's Block: Your Favorite Series: One Last Go Round

rightsaidred — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 03:56:52 GMT

I really liked Journeyman