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So this weekend I had a revelation.
I don't need all the hooplah and fantastical things in order to make it so that the love of my life will commit herself to me. I don't need the stress of trying to make everything perfect and doing everything as it has been planned in my head for more than 6 months.
That being said, I went to the bridal bazaar this weekend @ golden hall. Leah and I tend to go do these things every once and a while, and so I thought nothing of it. We had fun, and for ten bucks I got more cake than I could eat in a week, a couple frozen cocktails; and met a couple of totally queer DJs that were accepting of our union (and thoroughly excited that we had gone to the show). I ran into Megan Stein and Ayo (barf), and even yelled at the county of san diego guy handing out applications for marriage licenses (He was like "application for a marraige license?" and I replied in a fairly annoyed tone "when you let us get married!") It was classic.
So as we leave and are sitting on the bench I spent about an hour last year pondering the pathetic nature of our culture and the fact that I was able to do something nice for people that would not otherwise be able to have breakfast, looking into her eyes; the thought of the ring in my purse came to mind. I thought about all the times that I had thought to myself "If only I had the ring in my pocket right now...", but this time it was real. I kept assuring myself that I had will power, that I could wait for two more weeks, that it had to be perfect and that I wanted to propose to her on our one year anniversary. I made the excuse to myself that I hadn't done it while we were in the bridal fair, in front of all those people....so I certainly couldn't do it now. Well, God had other plans. Leah lost her earring, and was freaking out about losing it because they were the earrings I bought her for our "vacation" in a few weeks. At that moment, looking into her eyes as they teared, all the nervousness I had felt suddenly melted away and I knew that I didn't need a big production to get engaged. I didn't need fireworks and a fancy dinner and staying at a hotel and everything in order to be happy. All that I needed (and need) is a moment where we were happy and thinking about nothing but eachother. Leah wanted to go back and look for her earring, and of course I followed her. Walking through the vendors, staring at the floor for a litle two-toned gold swirly threader earring; I prayed. I knew this was the time, that I didn't want to wait any longer. After being unsucessful in retrieving the earrings from their missing place (and i have decided that those earrings shall now be know as the "escape artist" earrings after losing them twice) we sat on the steps and this how it went
"It's alright honey, it wasn't meant to be."
"I know, I just feel bad because you got them for me, for our anniversary."
*Leah puts her head down in sadness*
"I have something that can make you feel better."
*little smoochy, while covertly pulling out ring*
"Close your eyes."
*Leah Closes her eyes*
"Give me your hand."
"No, the other hand."
*places ring into leahs hand...closes it around ring*
*Whispers into ear* "Leah Susan, will you marry me?"
*Lots of tears, kisses, and mushyness*
And the best part is, I now get to have a wonderful vacation with my wonderful fiancee.
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anxious
exhausted
irritated