First thing I should say is that my Turkish is hilariously bad, and that I so often inadvertently trip over some local cultural taboo that Ricochet member Okan once came up with the idea of trailing behind me with a camera and turning my life into a comedy show called “Borat in Reverse.” So in recounting the conversation I had today, believe me, I am not mocking Turks who make mistakes in English and don’t quite get American taboos. I’m in no position to mock. I’m just laughing at the world.

You may not realize that there are Turks of African descent. There aren’t many in Istanbul, but every so often you do see black people. Anyway, I’m at the gym, and my teacher, who speaks some English and likes to practice it, puts his head out the window and sees a few black guys walking up this street. He turns to me and says, “In this neighborhood there are many negroes.”

I was a bit taken aback, but of course I know English isn’t his first language. I don’t want to correct him aggressively, though, because Turks will shrivel and then sullenly hate you forever and plot your downfall if you criticize them directly–I’ve inadvertently caused more ill-will than you could possibly imagine by saying, directly, “No, you’re wrong about that.” So I say, “That word isn’t really used anymore, we say–”

“Niggers!” He exclaims proudly, glad to display his knowledge. “There are so many niggers in this neighborhood!” He says this in front of all the young, impressionable kids at the gym who pick up new English words really easily. (I know because I’ve taught them to call each other “fat fascists.” Probably ill-advised.)

I blanche, so to speak. “No!” I say, throwing to the wind cultural sensitivity about not directly criticizing Turks. “No! You cannot use that word!” I’m having visions of this guy or one of his students getting off a plane in America and getting himself killed within the first five minutes. I’m thinking, I’ve got to quickly impress on them that this is nothing you can play around with where Americans are concerned.

He looks puzzled, then decides to stand his ground. “Yes, it’s the right word! I hear it all the time in movies.”

Okay, I’m thinking. How am I going to explain this. Where do I even begin. 

“Please,” I say. “Trust me. All cultures have their taboos. In America, that word is incredibly taboo. You may hear it in the movies, but if you say it to Americans, I promise you will deeply offend everyone.”

“But why?” he asks. “It is same root as Niger, Nigerians. They are niggers, right?”

I’m about to put my hands over the kids’ ears. They’re like three-year-olds, too: They can see from my face that this is a fun word with really impressive power to shock the foreign lady. They’re about to start repeating it.

“Please trust me. It’s not the same. It’s a word that for historical reasons is considered unbelievably rude.”

“Silly,” he says. “Nothing like that in Turkey.”

I look at him incredulous. Finally I say, “Armenian genocide.”

Having made my point–rather effectively, to judge from the reaction–I explain that the word “nigger” is not considered proper at all. You would not use it ever, in any context, unless you meant to sound profoundly racist. I explain that it would be the end of the career of any politician if, for example, he or she was ever revealed to have used the word, even in a private context. It is that taboo.

He seems to get this, and I feel satisfied that I’ve made progress in explaining America.

Then he asks me: “So what words do your racist parties use in their campaign slogans?”