Political Obituary;
Gladys Berejiklian-
Fall of the Queen of the Mediocracy
“We can have it all!” –Gladys Berejiklian
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And so “Our Gladys” has gone, and in less time it seemed, than it takes to brew a decent cup of Tea.
But in Truth the Pot has been simmering for quite awhile, ever since ICAC lit the match in fact, with the original revelations of her Nights of Passion with disgraced ex-MP Daryl Maguire, and now the kettle has come to the boil.
Her initial attempts to paint herself as a naive and impressionable girl seduced by a smooth talking Lothario failed to address satisfactorily ICAC’s questions about some interesting policy decisions made at the time (which resulted in dear Daryls’ Property Portfolio expanding very nicely thank you.) and faced now with further questioning she has followed the recent example of the President of Afghanistan and closed shop & fled before the wolves arrive on her door.
Ahh who would have thought our Glad would be brought down by a torrid Sex Scandal! (“It’s the Quiet Ones you have to watch out for,” as my old Grandmother used to say) and no doubt there are already “Deep Fakes” being crafted by sinister Pornographers in the hire of shadowy ALP power-brokers.
Ah Gladys! Ugly as an old Cardigan and as familiar as that Spot on the back of your hand that you really should show your Doctor one of these days, she seemed as firmly entrenched in Macquarie Street as a Gargoyle beneath the arches of Notre Dame. Who would have thought she’d be swept off her feet and out of Office by the smooth blandishments of a Liberal Party Lounge Lizard!
But the Political Bandwagon doesn’t stop, no matter who falls off, and her bereft Colleagues are all mentally toting up their Chances at having a tilt at the Top Job, even as they are beating their chests & wailing & bleating
“But who could replace her!?”
Craven hypocrites all, but it’s a good question really
and one that I struggle to answer.
True, they have big shoes to fill (Gladys took a Size Eleven.. sturdy Armenian stock doncha know?)
but surely, I says to m’self, there must be some Bright Spark amongst the Shonks & Shills & Shits in Suits
that comprise the NSW Liberal Party,
who could serve as a suitable candidate
for the High Office of Premier of NSW?
Some ambitious, back-stabbing Hack with expensive dental work, who has not yet been demoted or dismissed in disgrace for Corruption or Sexual Assault or Stalking their Ex on Instagram?
But none spring to mind, so it may become necessary to Recycle, and Rehabilitate the Career of some previously disgraced Inebriate, whilst praying enough time has passed so that their Name is no longer a byword for Corruption & Sleaze.
As a last resort some nameless Face from the Ranks of smiling suits must needs be promoted to Premier, and duly offered as a Sacrifice at the next election
to the Nameless Gods of Politics.
Daz & Glad in happier times
Why, you might ask, do I waste so many words on such a mundane matter as State politics and the fall of a middle ranking player?
Ah Grasshopper! Gladys Berejiklian was more than just the Premier of NSW. She was the Queen of the Mediocracy, a gold-plated Symbol of the stubbornly dull & dumb -always playing to the lowest common denominator- predictability of Australian Politics.
But her Mediocrity was her Strength. The first time I heard her speak I was stunned by the utter banality of everything that came out of her mouth; clichés & stale slogans & platitudes that were old when John Howard was a boy.
But that is why she was elected; because she never said a sentence or had a thought in her head that hadn’t been spoken or thought a million times before.
A selfish and cowardly Public were reassured that nothing was going to change and that the Climate Crisis and other looming Catastrophes could be ignored while Business continued As Usual. They would be asked to make no sacrifices. They could have it all.
And so apparently, could Gladys. No-one gets to be Premier of NSW without skating on the dodgy side of Vanilla, and Gladdie was no exception, but much of her corruption was so institutionalised as to barely constitute a crime; mere pork barrelling and taking care of your mates, the meat and potatoes of Australian politics. (The Slush Funds are the gravy.)
Given she was a Darling of the Right, no doubt the Usual Suspects at News Com (Credlin, Bolt, Jones et.al.) will be wailing for some time about the Monster ICAC rampaging out of Control and devouring fair maidens & innocent politicians.
But the rest of us will move quickly on, and so apparently has our Gladys who, according to reliable reports, is now “dating” the Lawyer representing that SAS Psycho who’s currently up on War Crimes charges.
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Reverend Hellfire's Sunday Sermon 