November is traditionally viewed as the month of thankfulness—a season to slow down and remember what you are grateful for and what you have accomplished throughout the year. At Rethreaded, we love the holidays for many reasons, especially because it is a time for intentional thankfulness and joy. However, for us, Thanksgiving is not just during the month of November. It is a part of our culture and day-to-day life; we practice gratitude 52 times a year during what we call Thankful Thursday.

I would like to invite you to Thankful Thursday at Rethreaded. Every Thursday, our staff gathers together first thing in the morning. We sit together in our training center, ground ourselves with meditation, and take turns going around the room, sharing what we are thankful for that week.

Here’s how the list usually goes:

I’m grateful to see my children again.

I am grateful for a good night’s sleep.

I’m grateful that my parents are back in my life and we are communicating.

I am grateful to have the ability to pay my bills.

I’m thankful for the used car I just purchased.

I am thankful for my therapist.

I’m thankful that I feel safe today.

I am thankful for my friends.

I’m thankful for my Rethreaded family.

I am thankful for the weather.

This practice is important for our staff; it is a grounding ritual that helps us to slow down, be present in the moment, and focus on gratitude. Nothing is too big or too small. There is no right answer. As we share, the room becomes full of laughter, borrowed joy, and moments of empathy. Sometimes the thankful moment is heavier, gratefulness that surgery went well or that your loved one walked away from a car crash. As a community, we share the weight, supporting our fellow team members. Sometimes the thankful moment is a milestone someone has been working towards for a long time, a savings goal, or a family reunification goal. As a community, we celebrate together, honoring the journey and the work. Sometimes the thankful moment may seem small, being thankful for waking up or for having a full tank of gas. As a community, we are grateful together, sharing a deep understanding of why those mundane moments mean so much to us.

This is radical gratitude. Not just being thankful on occasion or thankful for what can be perceived as a good thing. But being truly grateful for all of life, all the time. The pattern that I’ve seen over the years in our thankfulness is that it includes everything. The joyful moments, the serious moments, the difficult moments, the mundane moments. Moments that many of us might take for granted, like being thankful to pay your electric bill. Survivors at Rethreaded lean into the discomfort with courage every single day and celebrate the small moments of life, because through the healing process, those seemingly mundane moments take on a magical quality. Not only is thankfulness a reflection of the healing journey, but it is also an important part of the healing itself.

Life is all about holding the tensions of what our reality is with what we would like it to be. It’s about holding space for the good moments and the hard moments. Having room for everything, all the emotions, circumstances, disappointments, surprises, etc.

Here is where we live out the Paradox, or as we like to call it, the “Pair of Ducks”, the Yuck Duck and the Yay Duck. Are your ducks in a row? A nice, neat little family sitting around the holiday feast table with tidy clothes, polite manners, and a thankful heart? Are they running around making an inordinate amount of noise like every day is a chaotic rave? Or are you somewhere in the middle?

This season at Rethreaded, and to be honest, on most weeks, someone, or multiple staff members, will mention that they are thankful for the ability to pay their bills, take their children to school, be invited to a family dinner, shop for the holidays, and show up in the everyday ways that most of us take for granted. As the healing journey progresses, we see that this journey is not, in fact, a specific moment in time, but a collection of mundane moments. These moments are no less meaningful, but they are magic being magnified by the growing ability to hold the hard (the Yuk Duck) and the good (the Yay Duck) of life.

Once again, we see that the survivor staff at Rethreaded are teaching all of us how to thrive, to be authentic, to celebrate Quacksgiving in this season, as well as all seasons and moments of life. What I think our survivor staff are communicating is:

“I am still here, and I get to heal and move forward towards the life that I actually want and deserve, even though someone tried to take it from me.”

“I’m still here, and I’m worthy of love and a beautiful life.”

We may not share the same gratitude list or the same journey that led us to where we are today, but here’s the powerful thought we can all hold onto this season: a full life doesn’t need anything flashy or fantastic. To have breath in your lungs, to heal from trauma and/or the hard things, to see the magic and gratitude in the small, mundane moments is a gift. You can have the capacity to hold both the joy and sorrow of life in equal measure, with compassion for yourself and others. That can never be bought or gifted; it is lived by bravely moving forward one step at a time.

During this holiday season, we invite you to slow down and appreciate the small things that have made your week better. It’s easy to feel like time is flying by as you prepare for the next family dinner or hectic workday, but in the quiet moments of gratitude, you regain control of your day and gain more love for the life you lead. Happy Quacksgiving, may your ducks of Yuck and Yay be in either hand, and may you smile and appreciate both in this festive season.