For she is Sooper Evol

Spirit Day

remember_nomore — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 02:08:22 GMT

Originally posted by neo_prodigy at Spirit Day

It’s been decided. On October 20th, 2010, we will wear purple in honor of the 6 gay boys who committed suicide in recent weeks/months due to homophobic abuse in their homes at at their schools. Purple represents Spirit on the LGBTQ flag and that’s exactly what we’d like all of you to have with you: spirit. Please know that times will get better and that you will meet people who will love you and respect you for who you are, no matter your sexuality. Please wear purple on October 20th. Tell your friends, family, co-workers, neighbors and schools.

RIP Tyler Clementi, Seth Walsh (top)
RIP Justin Aaberg, Raymond Chase (middle)
RIP Asher Brown and Billy Lucas. (bottom)

REBLOG to spread a message of love, unity and peace.

Moments in Megverse…

remember_nomore — Sat, 07 Apr 2007 04:58:55 GMT

Ode to Megness.

Once upon a time… *cough* Wait, this isn’t a fairytale folks.

See, last year I wrote this looooong smooshy post about my darlin’ Soully – Meg [strangecreature] and well I wanted to do something the same and more this year.

Everyone should have someone as wonderful, patient and loving in their life. I’m lucky with a few of them. But none is like my Megness. My dear Daisy Girl who is always there when I need her, is always a phone call or email away.

Last year I made her cry, this year I’m going to make an attempt at not doing that. We both hate being soggy eyed. But she is truly a wonderful person and after this Roller coaster of a year that I’ve had, I’m glad she was around and in my life.

So, what I decided to do this year is icons [See previous post], a new LJ layout [In the works to be posted at a later date] and a ficspam that will rival anything ever done before *queue dramatic music*. So under several cuts are 22 fics for Megan’s 22nd birthday. They vary in pairing [Hey, it’s not my fault we’re Lindsey whores!], Fandom and rating. Only Meg’s allowed to laugh that the slash fics of Lindsey/Angel[us] came out the longest.

I surely do hope you like this my dear girl. *gets jittery nervous*

All fics are PG or G rated unless otherwise noted. Just because I used a / between the names does not mean it’s a regular ‘ship’. Just read, then again as long as Meg loves it then I win at life.
Note: I never claimed to write some of these characters any good, just so you know. I don't claim to be the best, just good enough to make a fic pass. Esp on the House ones.
MANY thanks to all that listened to my psycho ramblings, telling me that I’m crazy and giving me feedback and encouragement on this project. *emotear*
Total Word Count: 10,378+ [Yes, I'm psycho because I wrote it in 3 days]

1. Lindsey/Angel – Want

Blinding white pain blurred Lindsey’s vision as Angel slammed him into the side of his Ford, tossing the lawyer around like he was a rag doll or nothing more than a plastic bag.

“Fuck,” Lindsey swore, his fingers reaching up and gripping onto the collar of Angel’s leather coat. “Do you ever know when to quit?”

His laugh was acidic and without an answer he tossed Lindsey against the side of his car again, only this time pinning the smaller man with his body. “You don’t.” His face was close to Lindsey’s and he could almost swear he felt his breath on his skin. Which was an insane thought in it’s self.

“Fuck you,” he hissed.

A smirk came to Angel’s lips and Lindsey found himself face first against the drivers side window. “Maybe that’s been my plan all along…What would you do then?”

Beg. Lindsey thought. “Nothing, tell you to…fuck.” His eyes rolled back as he felt Angel’s hand grip onto his cock through his jeans, feeling Angel tighten his grip around Lindsey’s neck as he pressed his body tightly to his.

“Yes…”

“Go to hell.”

“I’ll take you with me.” Angel’s voice dropped again and he brushed his lips along Lindsey’s neck, noticing a faint scar under his ear.

“Yes…” There wasn’t another moment of hesitation before Angel took what he deemed was his.

Lindsey.

He saw stars before his eyes as Angel fucked him hard and rough against the side of his beat up truck, his ‘ass kicking’ boots still on, jeans around his knees and his cock painfully hard against the metal of the truck.

There were no pants or moans of promises, only swears and pleads for ‘more’ or ‘harder’ from both their lips. There was no kissing – sweet or otherwise. It was pure fucking – rough and dirty, hard and filled with need.

Angel kept his hands busy, wrapping them around Lindsey’s cock and using his knowledge to put pressure just in that spot that he knew would keep him from coming until Angel was ready. His free hand moving up from Lindsey’s neck to cover his mouth, his hips thrusting in hard as he pushed them both over the edge.

With slow movements Lindsey stumbled a step back, licking his dry lips as he felt the heat of Angel’s gaze on his back, watching as he redressed himself, knowing that his eye caught sight of his now wet driver’s side door.

All of this still did nothing but send a thrill up his spine.

“So…”

“Wolfram and Hart are going to be after you.”

“I know.”

“Don’t let them catch you.” Angel’s tone was unreadable to Lindsey as he pulled the door open and slid into the truck.

“I won’t, Angel.” Lindsey’s tone was quiet as he shut the door, rolling the window down to lean his elbow out, looking at Angel but never meeting his eyes. “Be careful. Don’t let them make you play their game, make them play yours.”

“Watch out for the cops.”

Those were Angel’s final words as he tapped the side of his truck, signaling that it was the end of their conversation. With a dry throat, Lindsey turned the key in the car, listening to the engine turn over as if she was brand new.

Lindsey kicked the car into drive and started to drive away, he gazed back in the rearview mirror and knew that Angel was standing there, watching him – letting him go – even if he didn’t see his image in the mirror. It was burned into his mind.

2. Lindsey/Darla – Reminders

Darla shivered, wrapping the towel tightly around her nude body. Water dripped from her slender figure as she stood there, motionless, as Lindsey moved around the small bathroom in his apartment.

“Cold.” Her voice was soft and her eyes showed the word felt foreign to her.

“I’ll make you warm soon,” Lindsey whispered into her ear, coming up behind her with another towel to wrap around her, pulling the damp one and setting it on the floor. With a gentle hand, Lindsey used his good arm to rub her showered skin dry. “Tell me if you’re uncomfortable…or if you need anything.”

“Can’t,” she murmured, meeting his eyes and wondering just who this man was. She didn’t know how she got here.

Then again she didn’t know who she was either.

“Why not, Darla?”

“Darla? Who’s Darla?” She got quiet and took the button down shirt he handed her. “Can’t disagree with what I don’t feel. Numbness is bliss. This I’ve found out the hard way.”
He blinked at her, unsure what to say. It’s always best to keep quiet – this was a lesson that Holland had taught him.

Quietly Lindsey struggled with the buttons to his shirt she wore, his one good hand fumbling as the tips of his missing fingers tingled and ached to assist him at his task. “Does it hurt?” her breathy voice pulled him from his thoughts as she reached out and touched his wrapped arm.

Looking up into her eyes he could almost see him reflected in there, smirking back with a look of victory. “Every day.”

3. Lindsey/Tara – Fresh Start

The truck’s engine filled the silence, Lindsey pressed up against the drivers side door, his elbow propped up on the frame of the window. He only let his eyes glance at the woman in the passenger side, afraid that she’d come to her senses and throw herself out of the truck just to get away from him.

Tara could sense his anxiety and wished she had a better way to reassure him other than the bland ‘it’s okay’; they both knew it wasn’t, the firm had found out about her and they were going to do everything they could to get to her and the ability’s she possessed.

Shifting in his seat, Lindsey gently switched hands and reached over for her hand, threading his fingers with hers; he still had the silent amazement that their hands just seemed to fit together, the roughness of his guitar worn fingers soothing her even in their darkest hour.

“We’re sure about this.” It was a question, but filled with more determination than he thought she ever expressed before. Lindsey responded by tightening his grip on her hand, his thumb brushing over the side of her hand. “I mean, you’ve been to this guy before and…it’ll be okay,” she whispered, wanting to shift over and curl up next to him. If she did she knew she’d break and neither of them had the strength for that now.

They could crumble together later – when they were safe.

A sigh escaped Lindsey’s lips as they turned down the highway; the sign for New Orleans signaling they were near. “It’s okay darlin’, he wouldn’t have come all this way if he wasn’t sure this was the way.” He paused and looked over at her, tugging her hand until she looked over at him in the darkness. “I’m sure this is the way.”

Tara nodded and closed her eyes, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “I always thought that it would be a rose or a something the first time…”

“Next time.”

“Yeah…” Tara dozed off for a while, feeling herself being pulled from her daze with a gentle nudge from Lindsey. Nervously she chewed her lip and slipped from the warmth of the truck, her hand tightly in Lindsey’s. “Okay…”

Untangling his fingers from hers, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer to comfort her as best he could.

“Welcome,” a voice came from the dark and making the hair on the back of Tara’s neck stand on end. “I’ve been expecting you.” The figure emerged and Tara tried not to feel uneasy at the blackness of its eyes, one hand extending out and beckoning her forward. “You must be the one who wishes my services this time.” She nodded quietly, brushing her hair away from her face. “Very well, strip down and lay on the table; I won’t lie and sugarcoat it – it’s going to hurt.”

“It’s the only way,” she whispered, licking her lips nervously as she pulled her top over her head, her cheeks flaring with redness as she exposed herself to the stranger.

“I’m right here,” Lindsey reminded her, stepping forward to take her clothes as she shed them. “It’ll be alright.”

She nodded as the finger of the robed demon started to glow, pulling out of a small bowl that smelled of sulfur and Indian ink. Tara moved to lay on the table, wishing she could just be hidden away from the eyes. It had taken her six months before she ever let Lindsey see her nude; she hadn’t even been here for six minutes.

“It’s the only way. We’ll have our new start once they can’t find me. Find us.” She closed her eyes and reached out for Lindsey’s hand, gripping onto his hand as if it would give her life with every breath; silently she focused on the calluses of his fingers, desperate to block out the searing pain as the first symbol was imprinted on her chest.

4. Lindsey/Lilah – Evil Dealings

Another day, another blood covered dollar. That’s how they had to look at it, at the end of the day it was all about personal gain. For the better of their own careers.

Even so, they had a bond. A silent mutual agreement that would surpass anything that transpired in the office, no matter what acts they were – forced – obligated to do for the greater good of the firm.

He would be broken and she would know when, where and what he needed from her. It wasn’t abuse or obligation, but more of a ‘scratch my back, and I yours’ if you wanted to put it into words.

They were each other’s support – whether they admitted it or not.

Tonight was just like any other time before. She showed up on his doorstep broken – from the inside – and a few physical scratches that he needed to tend to. She was the one that needed the most tending.

Lindsey didn’t speak as he ushered her inside, gently pulling off her suit jacket before leading her to his couch, sitting in front of her at the coffee table and pulling her shoes off. He methodically stripped her down, ignoring the anger that ripped through him when he saw the bruises on her inner thighs and her torn stockings.

“Shhh,” he whispered, pulling her up and bringing her to his bathroom, with motions he’s used many times before he filled the tub and poured in the lilac water she secretly liked before helping her gently inside.

Lilah just sat there, silently broken as he bathed her, her hand gripping onto his shirt as if it held the plug to her life.

If this was another time or place – even if they were other people – the sight of this would be nothing but erotic, but it was far from sexual tonight. She was broken and he was the band-aid.

Gently, Lindsey lifted Lilah out of the tub and brought her to his bed, slipping one of his old farm shirts over her shoulders and buttoning it up. With the same gentleness he moved her under the covers, covering up her damp body as he lay over the blanket, his arm gently wrapping around her waist.

Blindly her fingers found his and dug into his skin, but he didn’t complain. They might be employed by the world’s worst evils, but they were still susceptible to damage. “I’m here, sleep,” was all he whispered into her hair, humming softly to an old song he used to sing back home – knowing from the past that it’ll calm her to sleep.

Little did he know that she’d never tell him how much it would break her if he ever went and left her behind. It was a sign of weakness and Lilah Morgan never showed her weaknesses.

5. Lindsey/Eve – Dependant

A heavy groan escaped Lindsey’s lips as he laid there, his body wracked with pain on every inch of his chest and arms. It hurt to move. It hurt to stay still. He was fighting a losing battle.

But he won the war – he needed to believe that – this is what all the agony was for. It had to be worth it in the end.

“It’s alright,” a soft voice whispered, stepping out of the darkness in typical Lilah Morgan fashion and walking out of the shadows and closer to the bed. “I’m here, have some water.”

Tiredly Lindsey closed his eyes and sipped gently from the straw, feeling the muscles in his arms spasm and send shockwaves of pain through his body. “Fuck,” he muttered, swallowing thickly and resisting the urge to rip his skin from his bones.

“It’s almost over, Lindsey. The shaman said that it would heal but it would take time,” Eve’s voice was gentle and caring, her hand reaching up to brush his hair away from his face, trying to attempt to soothe him even though she wasn’t really sure how. She wasn’t programmed that way.

Eve had read enough books and asked enough ‘appropriate’ questions of the shaman to know how to deal with Lindsey’s discomfort and pain. Eve thought that if Lindsey was in a better state of mind he’d make some wise crack about forcing her to sit down and watch one of those home cooking shows or something.

The one thing the Partners did well in her design was the ability to learn quickly and imitate basic ‘human’ emotion. After all, she had managed to trick Lindsey when they first met.

Not that the impression lasted long after she finally told him her plan.

One flaw the Senior Partners had was giving Eve a mind of her own. It was that very mind was what told her she didn’t like being a puppet for anyone.

A groan from Lindsey brought Eve out of her thoughts and she looked down at him, reaching over for a large jar that sat on the nightstand. “This’ll work,” she whispered, pulling the cover open and dipping her fingers into the cool lotion type substance. With a gentle touch she gently soothed it onto Lindsey’s burning skin, taking extra care with the larger symbols on his chest.

“Ohhh,” Lindsey sighed as the mixture started to numb his skin, giving his body the blissful numbness that he was craving. It was just enough to allow him the ability to sleep. “So good to me,” he muttered, the back of his hand brushing against her arm as he felt himself drift off.

6. Lindsey/Cordelia – Infatuation

Cordelia vowed that if one more demon laid a hand on her, or tried to pick her up, she was going to murder someone. She could almost swear that there were hand and claw marks on her ass from them.

Her eyes narrowed as the Gnarl demon slithered by her, eyeing her as she sat in the corner booth and tried to stay unnoticed. Not that she could blame anyone for noticing her, she was Cordelia Chase after all.

Guitar notes filled the club and her annoyance was lost as she turned her full attention to the stage, a solemn figure filling out the large stage as if he owned it. When he was there she knew he did, her eyes fixed on his shadowed silhouette as the club hushed down to let his methodic chords reach her quiet corner booth.

This was her third night since she found out, the two of them here but never meeting face to face. It would be wrong, after all, since Angel wasn’t around to have that excuse; they were on either side of the track, him black and her white. Growing up in Sunnydale you knew better than to cross those lines; so now she sat quietly, watching and listening as he played.

His eyes would gaze over the crowed, a small smile painting the corners of his mouth when he noticed she was there. His voice got louder, singing with more feeling than before.

Cordelia turned her eyes away as his gaze burned into her, setting down a five-dollar bill to settle her tab. She knew she had to slip out the door; tonight was the third night and one woman could only have so much resolve before she decided to say screw it all and turn their mind fuck into something much more.

7. Lindsey/Faith – Bound

They were opposite sides of the same coin, both running for different reasons that end with the same outcome: the desperate attempt at freedom. Something neither of them has ever tasted.

He found her at a truck stop in Texas of all places, her thumb promptly sticking out with her hair whipping all around her face as she waited for some poor sucker to be stupid enough to stop his car – just so she could steal it.

Then again Lindsey has always been a sucker for damsels in distress.

He was no match for her – even with all of his mystical strength and training – and it was only seconds before she had managed to toss him out of the car like a rag doll. Tattoos and knowledge kept him quick on his toes and he fought back, gripping Faith’s arms and pinning her to the side of the truck.

After a bit of struggle and forceful words they came to a mutual agreement that they might be on the same path and until the time came. It was an agreement of use; they’d use each other until it was time to part and they’d go their separate ways.

One perk of all of it was – as Faith would say – having someone around to scratch that itch. Lindsey was far from one to complain and for once he could tell why Angel had a thing for slayers. There was this thing that they do with their muscles… yeah, he wasn’t going to say anything to ruin this arrangement.

The thing that would pique Lindsey’s interest about Faith was how full of life she was for a person – like him – obviously without one. Neither of them had a home nor family to go to, both of them had someone looking for them and having the worst intentions.

Working as a team – especially against their enemy’s – was the best defense.

In the end though, neither of them was sure they were ready to face things on their own. But that was something they were both too stubborn to admit.

8. Lindsey/Wesley – Forbidden
[insilent_rain storyline]

Lindsey kept the room dark, the dim light from the kitchen causing a glow to come from the amber liquid and ice that filled his glass.

His mind running faster than he can keep up, the realization of the past months events pouring onto him like cement and drowning him. Lindsey thought that when he left the firm and moved to the other side of the country – even going so far as to cover himself with tattoos – would keep LA and everything that had the faintest bit of a reminder of the firm or Angel away.

He couldn’t be more wrong.

Not only had Lilah found him but turned his happy life of hiding in fear into something…enjoyable.

Lilah had given him hope that even in hiding he could have a life; on top of it she gave him a daughter. Sarah. A beautiful child that was smarter than her own good and easily had Lindsey wrapped around her finger – and she knew it.

For the past six years Lindsey had given Sarah the world and would have given his life for her.

Even after he found out she wasn’t his – but Wesley’s – he still loved her enough to give up his life for her. That would never change. Even if he hurt more than anything he ever felt possible.

A knock on the door broke Lindsey’s thoughts and he hoped it was the delivery boy with his whiskey. Setting his glass down, he slowly got off of the couch and headed over to the door on shaky legs. “Better be the good shit or you can say goodbye to-” his voice stopped, his eyes landing on someone who was not the delivery boy, although he did carry a bottle of scotch in his hand.

“We need to talk,” Wesley announced, making his way past the man and shoving the bottle of scotch into Lindsey’s hands as he entered the apartment.

Lindsey blinked and watched as the man stood there – looking much older than his years – and kicked the door closed behind him. “Ain’t in the mood for small talk.”

“There will never be a right time or mood for a talk such as this, Lindsey.”

He sighed heavily and shuffled quietly over to the bar. “There will never be enough liquor for a talk the likes of this,” he shot back under his breath, pulling the bottle of scotch open and pouring two glasses.

“Where are the girls?”

“My girls went out of town until…they went out of town for a few days.” Lindsey was on the defensive and even more so with all of the alcohol in his system.

Wesley nodded quietly, clearly getting the point. “I didn’t come here to…”

“This isn’t a pissin’ contest, Watcher. This is my corner of the sandbox and I don’t take kindly to people shitting in it.”

“Pardon me… she’s my daughter.”

“You didn’t raise her, you didn’t see her first step, and you never put band-aids on cuts.” Lindsey turned to him, filled with rage as he threw the glass past Wesley’s head. “You’re not the one that she calls out for when she has a nightmare,” with every moment his voice got louder, threatening to break. “You’re not the one she calls Daddy!”

Any other moment Lindsey would have been amazed at how well the other man kept his composure, moving around the room and quietly taking in the mementos of the apartment. The living room was scattered with pictures and even a clay ashtray made from a child’s hand. It screamed normal.

“We… we need to come to a solution. They…” Wesley turned and looked at Lindsey’s haggard appearance and held up a photo of Lilah and Sarah when she was a baby. “They deserve that. I’ve abandoned too much already. I won’t allow myself to abandon her again. I didn’t know when she left…”

Lindsey stayed quiet and moved back to his couch, sinking down into it and nursing his drink. “Things were fine.”

“They were lies.”

He snorted, looking at Wesley over the edge of his glass. “You seem to forget where we’re from. Everything that has anything to do with misery comes from Los Angeles.”

Wesley got quiet for a moment. “Not true.”

“Fine… name one thing smart guy.”

“Sarah.” Those words sobered Lindsey up enough to nod. His mind was just a little less filled with fog as he set the glass down and looked over at Wesley, his elbows resting on his knees as he looked up at the other man. “What do you suggest the three of us live together like some fucked up family?”

“Perhaps.” Wesley replied with barely a moment of hesitation.

9. Lindsey/Spike – Second Best

When you’re drunk everything is a blur. Even the girl dancing on the stage flashing you everything she’s got just for an extra dollar or two.

Then again, in the end, aren’t we all whores?

Always looking for something and doing anything we possibly can to obtain it. It’s human nature if you think about it; it’s something that is ingrained into us from birth.

Do this and you can have this. Give me more and you can take…

Spike cracked his neck, looking down into his suddenly empty glass and wondering how it became empty; it was full a moment ago. “Hey,” he drunkenly slurred, holding his glass up to the woman behind the bar and giving her a glare ‘til she got the hint to refill it.

“Runnin’ up a tab there buddy; I’m gonna have to top you off soon.”

“Put it on my tab.” A voice came from behind Spike and he turned, twisting too much on the stool and causing him to grip onto the edge of the bar. “Hey, figured misery welcomes company and well, I have a generous credit card balance.”

“Fancy you’re in the wrong bar there, Sparky. A bloke picks up ch-”

“I’m not here to pick up anyone, just looking for some company. Nobody should have to drink alone.” The shorter man sat up on the stool and extended his hand. “Name’s Doyle.”

“Right.”

He waited for the other man’s name – fully knowing it already – but it never came and he decided to keep that game going, pretending to shrug it off as if it didn’t matter. Doyle reached out his hand and pointed to the bottle of Jack, holding out a fifty-dollar bill to the bartender. “Just leave it,” he told her and she happily did so.

“So…”

“I ain’t the type for holdin’ hands and showing my innards to some soddin’ stranger.”

“Didn’t ask.”

“The look was implyin’.”

“Don’t carry a mirror to see.”

Spike snorted and finished his glass, reaching over and snatching the bottle of Jack from Doyle's hand and drinking straight from the bottle. “Thanks, you can go on your way.”

Doyle watched him quietly for a moment, not moving from his seat as he started to lay his act on thick. “Havin’ friend troubles?”

“Gotta have friends to have troubles; s’all they are anyhow so I don’t bother.” Spike’s voice dipped down low and Doyle could barely hear him over the beat of the music. “Don’t fancy bein’ second best anyhow.”

Lindsey nodded, a smirk forming behind his lips as he saw his way to get in. “Not fun, I know. I’ve been there myself.”

10. Lindsey/Angelus – Blissfully Numb

It was all a blur of frantic fingers and tongues, both men covered in a thin layer of sweat, covering both of their chests, as they fought each other for control. A growl and a hiss made Angel find himself against the door to his suite.

There were events that have led up to this moment – Angel and Lindsey each doing everything they could for the past two years to fuck up the other’s plans; Darla being one of them – but now it was all about them. This was their moment.

With a glint in his eyes, Angel turned and forced Lindsey against the door. “Careful, who’s in control here?” It was a demand and nothing more. “I can put you right back in that cellar.”

A twist of lust formed in his stomach and passively Lindsey relented and he took full advantage of this moment and saving everything – every touch, taste and sound – to memory.

Everything had lead up to this moment, everything Lindsey had ever said or done, anyone he’s fought or screwed over has lead to this moment.

Angel was letting him touch him, Lindsey himself had long since been rid of most of his own clothes as they lay scattered over the floor of the hotel room and Angel finally had his lips on Lindsey’s warm skin. What made him ache even more was the other man allowed him the same pleasure.

“Fuck,” Lindsey gasped as he found his jeans forcefully torn from his body and cast aside, Angel’s cool hands gripping his thighs roughly before almost painfully wrapping around his cock.

“Yes,” Angel hissed, grabbing the shorter man and tossing him against the wall, loving the sight and sound of him slamming into the sheetrock. “Mine,” Angel growled low in his throat, turning Lindsey around so he was facing away from him, his cock straining against his own pants and pressed roughly against Lindsey’s ass.

“Yes,” Lindsey moaned against the wall, desperate to feel Angel naked against him. All the fighting and eye fucking has lead to this. He wasn’t going to wait any longer. “Angel.”

“Wrong.”

Lindsey heard the crack of bones, the shifting of skin against his ear a moment before he felt it. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. “Angelus.”

“Good boy.” Angelus pressed Lindsey against the wall harder before the younger man had a chance to even think of struggling.

White-hot pain flowed through Lindsey’s body as he felt the larger man tighten his grip around him – one around his waist and the other over his chest – pulling him tightly to his body as he tormented him with his fangs.

An indescribable sound came from Lindsey’s lips as Angelus sank his fangs deep and hard in Lindsey’s neck, wrapping one hand around his cock and moving in slow movements in time with his fangs as if to mute out the pain he was causing. Then again Angelus was anything but merciful.

Angelus’ plan was clear – he was going to make Lindsey his in more ways than one.

Pulling back, he looked down at Lindsey, smirking as the blood dripped down his chin. Lindsey felt his head jolted back by a fist in his hair, forcing him to look up as Angelus loomed over him. “You want this.”

“Yes,” Lindsey’s voice was low and weak, his mind swimming from blood loss.

“Not going to kill you.” The shorter man blinked up at him surprised. “You’re too much fun to toy around with.” In one smooth motion, Lindsey found himself on his knees, his head dizzy with the sudden motion. “You’re going to be mine.”

Lindsey’s vision was double as he watched Angelus pull his zipper open. His eyes never looking away from him, his pants were soon lowered to his knees. The vampire’s cock was hard and thick as he wrapped his own hand around it. “Do you know what I’m going to do now?” He shook his head slowly. “Good.”

Angelus took pleasure in the puzzled look on Lindsey’s face as he stroked his cock a few times and forcefully drug his nails along the top of his cock, breaking the skin and moaning as the blood flowed over his fingers.

Even in Lindsey’s weakened state he knew what was happening next. He didn’t struggle. It wasn’t for lack of energy, but the fact he didn’t want to struggle.

Healthy attachments, Lindsey.

"Well, then you're in a crisis, son - crisis of faith. Do you believe in love? I'm not speaking romantically. I'm talking about that sharp, clear sense of self a man gains once he's truly found his place in the world.”

Twenty-seven years after birth, he found it.

Angelus gripped the back of his head again and forced his mouth onto his bleeding cock, sucking eagerly in his dazed state, the mixture of blood and Angelus’ skin filling his mouth. Lindsey swallowed every bit that was given to him, already feeling that buzzing feeling in his head that signaled greater blood loss.

He hadn’t realized ‘til now that his neck was still bleeding, running down his bare chest and back. Lindsey made no movement to stop the bleeding or touch his mark.

Lindsey’s mind became dark and cloudy, not even having the energy to gag when Angelus thrust harder, swallowing and sucking harder for his blood.

"…that sharp, clear sense of self a man gains - once he's truly found his place in the world.”

Twenty-seven years after his mortal birth, he found it.

11. Lindsey & Holland – Father Figure
[Loosely takes place after the 4th installment of Life Choices: The Rise & Fall of Lindsey McDonald]

“Lindsey McDonald? Holland Manners. I’d like to offer you the opportunity of a lifetime…”

It had all happened so quickly, it was a whirlwind. Two hours after finishing his final Lindsey found himself on a flight to LAX with nothing more than a guitar case and the clothes on his back.

“Leave everything, we’ll provide you with everything you need when you arrive.”

Lindsey was never one to do what he was told, but he did it anyway. Something told him that doing and saying the right things at this moment would change his life forever.

Flying was uneventful; things got interesting the moment he slipped into the limo that was waiting for him, feeling uncomfortable with his well worn clothes against the expensive leather of the seats. “Here goes nothin’,” he whispered as he slipped out, gripping his guitar case and entering the large building that loomed overhead.

“Hello, Lindsey.” He turned to find Holland standing behind him, smiling that kind smile he remembered from his dorm room two weeks ago.

“Hello, sir,” he replied, holding out his hand and shaking it. Another woman came up to them and started to gingerly take his guitar case from his grip. “Um…”

“Don’t worry, Lindsey. It will be at your apartment when we’re done with the tour.” The younger boy was silent, letting the blonde take the case away and heading off down the hall and out of his sight. “Now, come up to my office where we can talk about your employment here at Wolfram and Hart.” Said the spider to the fly.

Lindsey quietly followed, his mind spinning and wondering how he was ever going to get the money to buy suits that he needed for this job.

The door to Holland’s office closed behind him and he shifted nervously. “You have great potential Mr. McDonald. I think you’d be nothing but a great asset to this firm.”

“But…”

“Everything you need will be taken care of, to set you up, and we will take a small percent out of each paycheck until the debt is paid off.” Holland reached into his suit jacket and handed Lindsey an envelope. “Enclosed is a gift, I know you have family that needs looking after and I don’t want worry of such things to interfere with your job here at the firm.”

“Yes sir.” Lindsey took the envelope and sighed, slipping it into his pocket, turning his attention back to Holland.

“You will be starting in the mailroom. All of our best employees have started there. I have no doubt you will be out of there before too long. I have confidence in you, that you will surpass all expectations.”

“Thank you sir. Mr. Manners?”

“Yes?”

“I don’t believe I have the right clo-”

“Amanda will handle everything, your living arrangements and clothing has been taken care of. As I said before it’s all a loan.”

“I’ll work hard for it sir.”

“I don’t doubt that.” The blonde woman entered the room again with a smile. “This is Amanda. She will take you around and show you your new place. Welcome to Wolfram and Hart, Lindsey.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Two days later Lindsey was settled – somewhat – and his ‘gift’ was sent to his siblings to ensure their comfort. The suit he wore was too new and stiff on him, it felt like a noose as he pushed open the door to the mailroom and looked around, amazed at the vastness of the room its self. “Um, I’m starting today. The name’s Lindsey McDonald.”

The other man standing there smiled. “Hi, I’m Brad.”

12. Lindsey & Connor – Second Chance

The rain pelted Lindsey as he stood at the edge of the water, looking out and trying to block out the feel of the rain soaking into his worn out leather jacket; his skin still tender from the abuse his mortal skin took to keep himself hidden. He muttered to himself and swore he wasn’t going to wait much longer for the sender of the mysterious letter that was left on his doorstep last night.

“Pretty lawyer all dressed in black, yearning for his Goldilocks.” The sing-song voice came from behind him, causing him to spin on his heels and come face to face with a raven haired beauty that called craziness hers alone. She was dressed in a long black cloak, shielding her from most of the rain. “I knew you’d come like a good puppy.” She snapped her teeth and growled before she bubbled with laughter.

“Drusilla.”

“Grand Mummy’s gone away. Left me all alone.”

Lindsey’s stomach twisted at her words and he didn’t need to be affluent in Dru-speak to know what she was talking about. “Darla.”

“Yes.”

There was silence and Lindsey could no longer feel the rain pelting him. He looked down at her, wondering why she really sought him out in the first place.

“The fairies told me,” she answered the question he hadn’t asked as of yet. “Told me you should have her gift.”

“What gift?”

“Yes.” Lindsey arched his brow expectantly and felt his spine tense as she came closer to him. “You were never him.” He started to speak, trying to tell her that twisting the knife wouldn’t be something he was fond of; but the words never left his mouth as she continued to speak. “But knew you were good enough.”

“Gee,”

“Hush boy. The pixies told me that you would want this – want him.”

“I want nothin’ to do with that gel brain. I’ve got the firm to worry enough about.”

“Don’t make me cut your tongue out,” she leaned in and smirked, “Grand Mum told me told me how much she liked it… it’d be such a shame.” If he wasn’t so annoyed and wet he just might have blushed.

“The stars tell me this belongs to you,” with slow movements Drusilla pulled open her coat and revealed a wrapped up blanket in her arms. She extended her arms out to him and holding it as it was an offering, “Belongs to you.”

Lindsey blinked confused and took the blanket, realizing it was heavier than he expected it to be, hunching over he pulled the edge away and reveled a sleeping newborn. “Drusilla… Who’s…?”

“Running little lamb,” laughing she bopped him on the nose, her dark hair wet and clinging to her face now, “All that’s left of mum, princess can’t care the way lost boy can.” She almost sounded woeful in her words. “Must protect, keep safe,” her smile turned wicked and she bared her teeth to him, “then you will win your vengeance.”

He wasn’t sure about everything she was saying and, in the time he took to look away from her and down at the sleeping infant in his arms, she was gone.

A heavy sigh escaped his lips, his mind torn in every direction but straight, as he wondered what he would do now. A man on the run was one thing, but it was no life for a child. But this wasn’t just any child. This was Darla's child and he knew in that moment that he’d do whatever it took to keep what was left of her and the memory of their one night together safe.

13. Lindsey/Dean – Road Side Assistance

“Fuck,” Dean swore, kicking a rock on the side of the road, sighing at his dead battery on the car and the lack of reception on his cell phone. It was just his luck Sammy was still on his ‘I need alone time’ kick after what happened at their last stop.

Then again it wasn’t like Sam would have any clue how to fix baby.

Cracking his neck he slid into the car, leaning across the front seat, his legs dangling outside of the driver’s side door as he tried to figure out what he could do. Nothing much could be done until daylight and there was no way he was leaving the car alone.

His father would come back from the dead to kick his son’s ass if that happened.

The noise of an engine broke Dean from his thoughts, his eyes opening wide as he reached beneath the seat for his gun, sitting up to be alert if there was any trouble.

His eyes caught sight of a beat up Ford and scoffed, appalled at how someone could let their car get like that let alone drive it in public. Dean figured it was safe and possibly harmless enough to flag it down to get the driver to stop. All he needed was a jump and he could head down toward Roadhouse to order a new battery.

The truck stopped and a man got out, Dean only seeing his boots before searching the darkness for a face. Cocking his gun behind his back he made careful steps closer. “Hey man, got cables?”

“Battery died?” Lindsey asked, as he stepped out of the shadows, his fingers around the handle of the knife tucked away in his back pocket, muscles tense and waiting. “I might.”

“Isn’t that what jumper cables are for?”

“Suppose. Let me check the bed,” Lindsey rifled around and remembered that the cables were covered with slime from his last attack with Wolfram and Hart demons. “Fuck,” he muttered, playing up his dilemma to the seemingly normal guy. “Must’ve lost them. I don’t see them…” He turned and looked at the car. “Nice ride, surprised you’d take such a pretty thing on the road like this.”

“Surprised your hunk of junk still runs. Or does rust fuel it?” Dean was getting annoyed, needing to get out of the middle of nowhere; Winchesters were walking targets sitting like this.

“She’s good to me,” Lindsey replied tensely, flexing his fingers around his knife handle, “Good enough to give ya a ride to the nearest stop of civilization…”

Dean cocked his brow and thought of his options. It was this or being stranded out here and Dean didn’t think another car would come out here for days. “Yeah, okay man, that’s a good plan.”

Lindsey nodded and quietly got into the truck, the tension was thick between the two – one ready to pounce if the other tried anything – but both trying to play it cool.

They drove in silence for a while before Lindsey got restless and flipped on the radio, country music started to play in the truck and Dean had the thought of tossing the other man out of the driver’s seat and taking the car himself…

“Ugh.” He groaned and turned the music down, attempting at small talk if only to drown the sounds out. “Name’s Dean.”

“Lindsey,” he replied, glancing over at the other man. “What were you doin’ out here? Just headin’ somewhere?”

“Lindsey? Isn’t that a girl’s name?”

Lindsey bristled. “My mother didn’t think so,” his tone was even, yet harsh.

“Sorry dude, just seems… fruity.” After a moment he decided to speak again. “Heading out to see some friends of mine few towns over.”

“Always good,” Lindsey shrugged, shifting in his seat as they started seeing signs. “Where do you wanna stop?”

“Anywhere you’re headin’ man. Just want to get some reception and a battery.”

“There’s a stop up here, no idea what’s there.” Dean didn’t protest and Lindsey turned off the road, heading up towards the truck stop, both men turning their heads as they saw a brightly lit up sign. “Or…”

“Or...” Dean cocked his brow, rotating his jaw before looking over at Lindsey. “I’m sure I could find a signal here and find some way to keep company….”

“Might be right, I’m feelin’ awful thirsty. I’m sure I can find something to… drink in there.” Lindsey parked the truck and shut it off, waiting.

“Yeah,” he snorted, “I’m sure there’s plenty to drink…lots of silicone.”

“It all feels the same in the dark.” With that Lindsey got out of the car, smirking as Dean hopped out as well, both men walking in – but not together – to the strip club.

Baby can get a battery later.

14. Oz & Tara – Companion

Tears streamed down her face as she walked away from the Summers home – her home – the only one she ever really knew. Her throat felt tight and she felt like she was trying to constantly swallow marbles.

Gripping the box filled with her belongings, Tara walked towards the park and found herself sitting against a tree, her box next to her as she pulled her feet up to her chest. Her forehead rested against her knees as she soaked her skirt with salt filled tears. “I t-tried,” she panted to herself, shaking her head and feeling swallowed by guilt.

“They know,” a gentle voice pulled her from her thoughts and she looked up sharply, blinking and rubbing her tears away to see the solemn figure standing over her, “You did the best you could.”

She blinked again, using the back of her hand to wipe her eyes and get a clear view of who spoke. “Oz…?” Tara shifted on the grass and crossed her legs, looking at him as he sat down across from her, his knees almost touching hers. “What?”

“I felt it.” He didn’t need to say what ‘it’ was; they both knew that it was Willow that brought him here.

“I…” her face started to crumple again, and he shifted again, touching knees with her in a small act of comfort. “She…”

“I know,” his voice was never wavering and he just sat there quietly, his hands folded in his lap as he waited to see what she was planning to do next.

After a moment Tara looked up, brushing her hair from her face and looking at Oz for the first time. “You should go,” she whispered. He just looked at her quizzically. “I’m sure you c-could get through to her.”

He shook his head. “She’s not ready.” There was the slightest shrug of his shoulders before he spoke again. “We’ll make everything okay when the time is right – when she is ready. For now we wait.”

Tara nervously chewed her lip. “N-never was good at w-waiting…” She tucked her hair behind her ear and tried to hide herself again.

“There will be something good in the end.” She looked at him confused again and waited for him to clear up what he was getting at. “We’ll get our Willow back.”

15. Sean/Christian – A Chance Meeting

He remembered how his pulse raced four and a half minutes before the credits rolled, how the sight of sweat and engine grease-covered chest of the actor making his eyes dilate with lust.

Clearing his throat, Christian looked around as the theater emptied out; he lingered just long enough until he was sure he could walk again, the pressure in his jeans still very much known to him.

There was an after party; everyone was going to be there – even him – but as soon as Chris heard there was an open bar, he knew he was going to go. Since his new movie wasn’t in filming yet and the band has been stuck in the studio he was restless. Nothing a night of drinking and fucking anything in a short skirt wouldn’t cure.

A glass of whiskey took residence in his hand as he made his way through the crowd, nodding to Adam as he passed his way through the crowd. Christian’s eyes wondered around the room, glancing around aimlessly but knowing who he was looking for.

Sean was leaning against the wall in the far corner of the room, the hall with the payphones within steps; he wore a small smirk on his lips as he sipped the liquor from his glass, “Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Heard you were looking for me…”

A smirk crossed Christian’s lips as he moved closer to the other man, leaning against the wall and looking down at Sean, “Yeah, I was.”

Maybe their meeting wasn’t by chance after all…

16. Chase/Cameron – Take, Have… Now

Five days. It had been five days since Cameron went away to visit her parents, leaving Chase to deal with Foreman and House on his own. That wasn’t an easy task on any day.

With Cameron gone he had nobody to distract him – in that good ‘make it through the day’ – sense of the word. He could still smell the perfume she wore and the scent of lavender in her shampoo.

Chase didn’t know what possessed him to steal her key from her locker – after a bit of help from Foreman – but he made his way into her apartment, his arms filled with paper bags filled with the few things he needed to make this a perfect night.

Once Cameron came home that is.

Two hours later Cameron’s kitchen looked like a flour bomb exploded with bits of egg and oil all over the kitchen, covering Chase as well. He sighed heavily and reached into the over to pull out the pan of ziti he put in forty minutes earlier. With gentle hands he brought the pan to the well-made table, silently pleased how well all his grandmother’s training paid off in the end. He made a mental note to send her an ‘out of the blue’ card this week.

Chase pulled the potholders off his hands and headed back to the kitchen for the salad, humming softly to the music that played softly on the dining room stereo. The door opened and Chase stopped in his footsteps, a small smirk coming to his lips when he heard her sigh, dropping her bags like they were the heaviest things she’s ever had to carry.

“If you called I would have come met you,” he spoke softly, using a dishtowel to try to rid himself of the cooking dirt his clothes acquired.

Cameron looked up at him surprised, her face going from surprise to happiness in a matter of seconds. “Robert,” She shrugged her jacket off and tossed it to the nearest couch. “I didn’t think you’d be…wait, how’d you get in here?”

“I’ve got my ways.”

“Foreman.”

He looked sheepish as he wrapped his arms around her waist and leaning down to kiss her forehead gently. “Thought it’d be nice to surprise you with…”

“A mess in the kitchen,” she finished, quirking her brow at him, her eyes never wavering from his gaze as she started to pull the buttons of his shirt. “What is for dinner?”

“Pasta, salad and -”

“Good,” she whispered, kicking the door behind her closed with her foot. “It’ll keep.” With a smirk she gently shoved him back towards the bedroom, pulling at her own clothes as she kept her eyes to him. “Missed.” you “this.”

“Oh really…” I missed you too.

17. House/Cameron – Damaged

House lazily opened his eyes, the sun pouring into the room doing nothing but annoy him. Blindly he reached down and fumbled for his cane, using the end to push the curtain at the window closed before letting the cane drop with a thud on the floor.

“Better,” he mumbled, rolling over with a low groan ‘til his eyes caught sight of another body in his bed; a naked one at that. It took him a moment to remember if he’d picked up a hooker the night before on the way home. All he could remember was solving another case in ‘typical House fashion’ – as Cuddy put it – and getting drinks.

A lot of them.

The sheet was pulled down just enough to give him an eyeful of pale skin and soft curves. Without realizing it he started to trail his fingers over the naked skin, his fingers moving across her spine and up to her neck; against his judgment he smiled when he remembered what had transpired the night before.

Tequila, a cab ride home and he knew if he looked in the rest of his apartment he’d see a scattered trail of clothes that lead to the bed.

Cameron had insisted she follow him home and make sure he got there without a problem. She ended up not leaving without a problem either.

A sigh escaped her lips as his fingers moved over her shoulder, his body shifting a bit closer to hers as if for warmth. She grumbled something incoherent against the pillow.

“You’re awfully chipper in the morning,” he smirked, biting back a dig at her relationship with Chase.

Cameron’s eyes popped open and she looked around, realizing where she was. “What the…”

“Decided to take in strays last night.”

“Not a stray,” she pointedly commented.

“Face it; you’re as damaged as I am.” He didn’t do anything to move away or give her personal space; everything about him was always invasive.

She was silent for a moment; he could almost hear her mind spinning almost out of control. “So what now…” she said carefully after more silence.

“Don’t know, thought we’d try something new,” he muttered against the skin of her neck.

Lazily Cameron turned over and smiled. “As long as you don’t try anything kinky with the cane we’re good.” He laughed and touched her face, pulling her closer to him for a kiss. “Glad we’re in agreement.”

18. Chase/House – Don’t Leave

Their fighting could be heard down the hall. Most nurses stayed away on any given day. Nobody liked dealing with Dr. House, but the shouting was bringing attention to the office this time.

Chase hadn’t come here for this; there was a patient they had yet to diagnose and Cameron was with Foreman down checking on the labs. Chase had only come to House’s office to give him test results… but the words flowed out of his mouth before he could check his tongue. “Why?”

“It’s a crooked letter – like our billing department – and it comes right before Z and after W.”

“That wasn’t what I was saying.”

“I don’t have time for this. You can buy time with your prescription pad dropping out of your lab coat as you exit the door.”

“You told us that you were dying!”

House looked at him incredulously, cocking his brow and wondering where the hell this came from all of a sudden. “You have worse mood swings than Cuddy. Apparently all that English air has stunted your brain cell growth because I didn’t tell anyone I was dying! You all assumed.” House quirked his brow and pointed the end of the cane at Chase. “You know what they say when you assume…”

Chase resisted the urge to growl, narrowing his eyes at the older man, trying to keep his tongue quiet and keep from telling him how upset the news had made him; the wound from losing his own father was fresh.

“You take no regard,” he finally spoke.

“Nope, I don’t. Well, sometimes for Wilson, but even he ends up screwed at one time or another.”

Chase just shook his head, resisting the urge to throw something at him. “You’re a miserable man, House.”

“Thanks for noticing. I try hard.”

“It wasn’t a compliment.”

“For most people; for me it was.”

The smug smile was getting to him. “Unlike most people you’re going to end up alone.” With that, Chase turned and stormed out of the room, fire blazing in his eyes and masking the hurt he wouldn’t even show to Cameron.

He hated to admit it, but the pure fact that House had lied about dying made him realize that he cared – he didn’t want to – but he cared if something happened to House.

19. Wilson/House – Bachelors

Wilson wearily walked into the apartment, nearly tripping over one of House’s many canes. With a sigh he set it off to the side and slipped his jacket off, walking into the living room and finding himself picking things up off the floor in his current state of exhaustion.

“House,” the word sounded more like a curse than anything, his fingers dragging through his hair at the sight of the kitchen. He’d only been gone for a week and there were dishes in the sink – around it as well – and covering every other surface that it could. That wasn’t what annoyed him; it was the fact that there were dishes with curdled milk and rotted food on them. “It’s no wonder Stacy didn’t want to move in with him…”

With slow movements, Wilson pulled his tie loose and rolled up his sleeves, ready to clean up the mess his host had left when his eyes spotted a note taped to the fridge.

’Don’t clean. I figured we’d give that maid of yours something to do since she can’t clean your house anymore. There’s takeout in the fridge, add to the pile.

And don’t answer the phone if it’s Cuddy, she’s pissed as usual.’

He laughed and shook his head, crumbling the note and finding a check written out to the maid on the freezer door, he noticed the amount wasn’t filled in, but there was a post-it ‘Fill me out’.

“House,” he sighed, shaking his head as he pulled the fridge open to search for the takeout that was left for him. His friend might be the total opposite of him, but he wouldn’t change it – any of it – for anything else in the world.

20. River/Mal – Solace

River was curled up in the second pilot’s chair of the cockpit, her slender legs curled up under her, covered by her skirt. The rain had long since gone, but she could still hear it in her mind, the memory of what had transpired as fresh as the wound’s on Mal’s body.

Serenity was his ship, had been for a number of years, but he could never say he’s flown it. That was always Wash’s department. Even after the rebuild there were memories of his friend – dinosaurs covered the console, a strand of plastic flowers that hung from the lever for the exhaust - as painful as they were, they weren’t unwelcome.

This ship and all that were on it was all that Mal had left. They were family. Inara was… he was too tired to think of that right now.

Slowly River opened her eyes, peeking over at the captain as he flew them towards a destination unknown. “Heavy thoughts,” she whispered softly, brushing her hair out of her face. She could feel the weight of them on her but she could manage them better than before.

“Yes,” he said uncomfortably, not too keen on her ability to read into him.

“It’s okay. Tell me if you want, I won’t look.”

“That’s a bit touchy, make a fella right uncomfortable there, little girl.” He flinched and sighed, shrugging his thoughts off like they were nothing. “Things gonna change a lot ‘round here.”

“Change is like the tide.”

“Might be so, don’t mean I like it any.”

“We don’t always like things, Captain.” Mal stayed silent and thought over her words, a tremor of a smile curling his mouth. “We pull through the muck and get through,” she finished.

Mal looked over at her and nodded. “Yeah, I guess. You’d be one to know that wouldn’t you?”

“Wish I didn’t.”

“Wishes ain’t horses.”

“I never wanted a pony.”

“Me neither.”

“Going to check on Simon,” River’s voice was gentle as she gracefully stood up.

“Don’t forget to go on teasin’ him ‘bout needin’ his own Doc.”

She laughed and left the cockpit, leaving Mal alone in the darkness of the night sky.

It wasn’t long before she returned, whispering her way back with barely a noise. “Brought you this, Captain.” She extended her hand out to him and handed him a mug of fresh coffee, another cup in her other hand for herself.

He blinked at her, silent and unsure what to say at the action. This was new; maybe something he could get used to. After another moment of silence, without looking over at her he said, "Gotta be a might insistent here, family calls me Mal.”

River just quietly smiled, nodding into her own coffee mug.

21. Simon/Mal – Medical Healing

Mal’s consciousness floated in and out, his mind foggy with sleep and a very good sedative. His body hummed with pain from head to toe, and all he wanted to do was sleep.

Simon puttered around the infirmary, pulling out another medical kit to change the captain's bandages for the second time tonight; the previous ones already worn and soaked with blood; the fact that Mal kept batting at them in his sleep didn’t help.

There was a muted giggle that could be heard in the vents coming from one of the other rooms and Simon knew that it was Kaylee and River playing again. She was good for his sister; she made her happy and feel normal. Kaylee was almost like the sister they never had.

A groan broke Simon from his thoughts and he turned back to the table, reaching over to start pulling at the bandages on Mal’s chest, exposing the wounds their latest mission into thievery had brought them. Simon was always thankful for the wounds; without the wounds he knew they’d be worried about burying bodies.

With gentle hands, Simon cleaned Mal’s wounds, his fingers moved softly over the older man’s skin, washing the blood away to reveal neat and even stitches.

In his sleep Mal moaned again, shifting just enough to make Simon still his movements until the captain settled in his drugged sleep once again.

It wasn’t proper to think such thinks as the thoughts that ran through is mind. The memory of Mal slamming him into the table twisted and turned into something obscene.

Mal was finally still and with the same precision he learned on Osiris, Simon worked on replacing the bandages, ignoring the feel of the skin under the fingers or the thoughts that ran through his mind.

22. Badger & River – Saint & Sailors

It had been days since Badger left Serenity, Mal and the crew leaving Persephone and going on their way, leaving his pockets fat with his ‘finders fee’. That wasn’t the only thing they left behind.

Badger could remember her eyes, her wide bright eyes framed by her long dark hair. She was a simple girl in his eyes, but she was beautiful. Even more than the Companions he’d seen.

It’s been days. He’s felt it hours since he left that ship, her presence. Even then the idea scurried in his mind to take a detour and see her in her bunk. Not for things a man would do in a woman’s bunk but…

To sit and talk.

It had been so long since he’s seen or even talked to someone from back home. Let alone with a little spitfire like her who had the nerve to call him on his games. Games nobody else was privy to his participation.

‘What’s your story, love?’

‘Petty thief with delusions standing?’

‘Sad lit’le king of a sad lit’le hill.”

But she knew. It baffled him nonetheless, but she knew.

Badgers eyes snapped open as he awoke from his daze, sitting upright in his desk chair. He banged his fists down on his desk, looking with angry eyes at his nearest guard. “Find that ship of Reynolds’. I want another talk with that girl.”

I hope you enjoyed. *beams*
[Yes, I will be posting this in my fic lj broken up into sections for future refrence]

Happy Birthday Twinny :)

remember_nomore — Sat, 07 Apr 2007 03:20:34 GMT

Considering what hell this next week will be, I am posting things early.

Needless to say I don't need a day or special post to remind Court how much she means to me and means in my life. Today is just another proof that I'd be lost without her.
I don't have many words - they've all been taken - but if you read anything of my Flist then you know what my Twinny means to me.

Happy [Abet early] Birthday. I love you dearly and may you always be happy.

Under the cut are icons [and a perdy winamp skin] for you my dear. These are unshareable if you're not Court.

01. 02. 03. 04. 05.
06. 07. 08. 09. 10.
11. 12. 13. 14. 15.
16. 17. 18. 19. 20.
21. 22. 23. 24. 25.
26.

Right Click & Save Winamp Skin :)

I'm Nothing But Sinful Wickedness...

remember_nomore — Sun, 16 Apr 2006 18:23:02 GMT

Amazing FO banner by cala_jane

The only deviants allowed here are the ones I allow. No freaks, rejects or losers allowed. If this is the only post you see...guess you're not invited to the party.

Don't comment to be added. If we talk and add each other that's different. I'm not looking for new people to play nice with. I bite too much...

If you want to see my graphics go here: queennut_gfx. Fic community is here: simply_shiny. If we RP together or you want to, my list is here: wicca_ways

I also run the following communities:
lindsey_fic
kane_daily
dwts_film
darker_tara
tara_lindsey
maher_daily
amber_daily
acker_daily
alyson_daily
atsboys_daily
bchase_daily
blucas_daily
btvsboys_daily
btvsgirls_daily
james_daily
juliet_daily
mandy_daily

Not cutting anyone. Just finally putting up a FO banner. *facepalm* Don't worry, all you deviants are still welcome here *g*

Wow, two special day's in one week...

remember_nomore — Fri, 14 Apr 2006 05:41:24 GMT

Yes folks, it's time for another sappy 'omg I love you' type post.
*deep breath*

Happy Birthday strangecreature

*loves you muchly*

Ok, what can I say about my dear Daisy Girl? I guess the question would be what can't I say... Wow, cheezy much? *snort*

Well I'm tryin' not to get sappy or cry - ok, too late for that - because neither of us like getting all wibbly but hey, that's unavoidable here.

Court always tells me that Everyone should have a Meg...I can't agree more. I just feel honored that I have one. The original and the amazing one at that.

Nearly two years ago I met someone through fic - slash no less - friended her and have been inseperable since. Not a day goes by - unless forced by the evilness of school- that we don't talk on Email [Hey, 460 out of 500 emails in my AOL are all back and forth] since someone's AIMphobic. But I love it, I wouldn't have it any other way. I think we've talked and bonded more about everything from relationships to liquor to the most random things, even RPing :). We talk on the phone whenever possible and we always have something to talk about.

You know, it's hard to write about how much someone means to you when they're one of the two people that you're closest to and you just did something like this for the other's birthday 4 days ago... I hate sounding redundant.

Meg is one of the most awesome people I know, barnone. She's kind and patient and most likely the only one that I could call at 2am crying that wouldn't hang up on me. She's got 'MegMagick' and always knows how to make me smile or grin even when I feel like I've gone over that edge.

She's my living, breathing, human, feedback, squeeling, giddy, fangirly muse. Everything I write fic-wise she beta's and I have a special folder with all the doc's with the notes because they not only inspire me but they make me giddy, grin and all that fun stuff. I don't know what I'd do without her and - like Court - I'm not gonna have to find out.

There are fics and games and just things that I would have never done if it wasn't for her egging me on, seriously. Esp Slash and RPS.

I took her RP cherry - 1 year this month [yes, I remembered...] - and she took my slash one. *giggle* We've decided that we're RP soulmates and I fully agree. I have never had someone that I've meshed with so well with everything, even if we didn't talk constantly on Email we would just know what the other was planing and roll with it. We have things plotted up for at least another year.

I own her Lindsey just like her Lindsey owns my soul. Seriously. She owns my Tara and has every rights to my Eve. She makes the Linara to my soul and no other shall ever take it's place. I've tried Linara with so many people and it's just fizzled. We spark and it's amazing.

Not to mention I broke her het cherry too *g* Now if I could only get Tara pregnant somewhere...

Her Holland is downright wicked. That kind of writing that you can see and hear and just know that your hair's gonna stand on end.

She'll deny it but her Lindsey...I only hope to ever be half as good. She's a natrual about it. Writing just oozes and it's fantastic to be around because she inspires me, in all forms.

I look forward every day to Meg!Time [Not to be confused with Hammer!Time]. I grin, I get giddy and like the big dork I am I sometimes squee because she just knows exactly when I need to talk.

She's a slashwhore, JP, Lindsey, Kane, Linara, closet het, Disney slash writing fangirly girl and I wouldn't want her any other way. It's an amazing and special package that well... *points to icon* I don't share. Mine.

So my dear Megness. My Wiskey Daisy girl, The only person I'd kiddnap CK and share him with...Today's your day. Enjoy it my dear. Know that you're loved and cherished. I don't call just anyone from Nashville you know. ;)

You're the proud owner of my Angel, my Tara's heart, Eve's mortality, Chris' drunkeness and well... Me. I adore you beyond words, I'm thankful for you more than I can ever say. I sure as fuck hope that I have you around for so much longer because I love learning from you, you're constantly teaching me and showing me new things... I'd be lost without you, for you are my muse and I see bits of myself come out that I thought died so long ago. You are truely a special person.

*sigh* Now I'm soggy again. I should stop now. Not to mention I know you hate spotlight and PDA...this is special though.

I love you honey, I hope you have an amazing day. I shall be calling and talking to you tomorrow afternoon and then you can open your box. Yes, Court'll agree that I'm evil.

strangecreature Layout & Default icon
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These are all no-share, unless Meg says otherwise. If you're not My Megness then back off bitch ;)

Today's one of those special days....

remember_nomore — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 06:34:29 GMT

Wow, you know I had this whole long thing written in my head all week and it sounded great and now that I'm typing this...my brain has died on me. *pokes it*
Doesn't matter, I know what I want to say, let's hope it makes a bit more than twin-logic.
Incase somehow you got smacked upside the head with a 2x4 recently and forgot. I love you and I'm beyond thankful for you. You are one of the sweetiest and kindest people I know, you put others before yourself - even when you're not your best - just because being there for friends is that important to you.

Your enthusiasim for things is infectious, your fangirlness is beyond adorable [in the non-OMGOBSESSED sort of way] and even after four years of friendship you are still the only person I can call and talk for more than four hours and not ever have nothing to say. We babble, it's a mutual kind of thing. You go on about your VMhappy and I'll end up fangiling over what Chris did last time I saw him...eventhough you've heard it before.

There are days that I've called you sobbing and in moments I forget why I hurt so much. I think it's a gift and I always feel grateful for it.

For two people who have never physically met we have a special bond that I've never and don't want to ever have with anyone else. We have 'twin-ness' that is just us and even though others might feel left out when put in the middle. I don't care. I adore our friendship and the relationship we have above all else. You don't have to change for me and I don't have to change for you so why ever would we change for someone else. Exactly.

You put up with my moods and you listen to me bitch and squee and my heartache. I know that I can come to you when everything has gone to shit and fallen apart. I can tell you everything and know you won't judge or think ill, you will do what you do best and just be amazing. I can be candid and I can be myself and above all else I can let go every guard I've ever put up. That is worth more to me than I can ever say.

We have more in comon than I ever thought possible and every conversation we find something else. Four hours or more a day on the phone plus IM time... I think that makes us beyond bonded. I know your hidden wickedness ;) and you *cough* attack-dog nature. I love how you get me and you know exactly how I feel in that moment without me even telling you. We're stuck with each other and like I say; it's a good kind of glue.

I adore you so much and I love you beyond words. You've always kept me grounded and floating above water. It's your birthday but I feel like I'm the one with the gift just to have you around. I've said it so many times but I'd be lost. Totally.

You are my very best friend, my twin, my better half, the Ronnie to my Lil, the Kaylee to my Tara and always my Dawnie to my Tara. Most of all you're the levelheaded Liz to my off-the-wall-crazy Jess.

You know how you always say 'Everyone should have a Meg'? Well I think that everyone should have a Court. I have one and I feel too damn lucky; we also know that I'm greedy so I think I'll kinda keep you to myself.

Alright, I think we're both pretty soggy-eyed teary in our Care Bears and tired by now so I'm gonna stop the gushy and wish you nothing but love love and more love on this day. This is your day and you deserve to be happy.

Happy Birthday, dear Lizzie.
Love you, Jess

Hellbent and Nashville bound...

remember_nomore — Tue, 14 Mar 2006 16:38:06 GMT

By demand - seriously - and from fear of being beaten if I don't do this report...I give you the mamoth report...

Ok, my mind is still spazzing and running from this past week, not to mention I feel like I’m missing a day or two here with the lack and the slight over sleep I’ve had. It feels like Tuesday or Wednesday, not Monday right now. [Yes, I started writing this yesterday...]

This is long, I'm warning you. All the pictures are linked so you don't have to worry if you're on dial-up like Jep.

Tuesday/Wednesday – hello, just call me chicken without the head. Seriously. Got up at about 5am to talk with Cat and play in one_post_stand and finish up the thread we were working on before I left. Ended up getting off line at about 10:30, got dressed in my ‘omfg this is too comfortable for words’ clothes [long sleeved Tshirt and my ripped ‘redneck’ – as my mom calls them – jeans].

I headed out on the bus and went to go get my hair highlighted and blowed out straight. OMG I love it. [Picture here]. Also splurged $5 and got my nails done; which is something I never do. *snicker* Like I said to Court and Meg, I ran around here like I was getting ready for a date/booty call. *snort* Ran into Winn Dixie and picked up some of my ice tea – yes, I’m addicted. No, I’m not giving it up. :P.

Yes, I’m most likely boring half of you but hey, deal. All this shit was a journey and since you all weren't there…you’re gonna get all of it now. *smirk*

Alright, end up coming back after my hair, futz around online, set the cats up for a week and made sure that everything was settled and fixed. Emailed my girls, had a slight separation anxiety attack from Megness. Yes, we’re pathetic, but it’s cute. *grin*

Hopped onto the bus at about 4, didn’t get to the bus station till 6; ended up on the wrong bus and took the long way to the station. Thankfully they have AC down here and a radio. I spanked on the Ipod and tuned everyone out till I got to the station. Ended up that he stopped printing Greyhound tickets at 3pm, seeing as it was 6 he said I’d have to hop on the bus and get it at the next station. Ok, annoying much? Whatever, I managed to get that without a problem so hey, no problem there.

Bus was supposed to get to the bus station at 6:45…it didn’t show up till 8. Thank goodness I had a layover in Tallahassee for two hours. In the time I waited for the bus…ok, and here I thought all of the interesting people were in any town but mine. There was a guy waiting with his girlfriend that had like 7 beers and kept sparking up while we were waiting, even offered me some. Umm, no thank you. Firstly when you’re about thirty feet from someone and the winds blowing away from you and you can smell the weed and the person looks skuzzy? You say no. lol.

The bus going up to Tallahassee was so fucking crowded – probably because it was going up from Clearwater – I ended up sitting next to this guy, thankfully he knew the blessings of a shower. He was real sweet when he asked me if I was ok. I get like insane panic attacks when crowded – like OMG don’t touch me – so I was slightly flipping out. He tried to talk to me and calmed me a bit. We got to the Brooksville station and I picked up my ticket – for those keeping track, no I haven’t eaten yet today – popped back on the crowded bus and zoned out till we got up to Tallahassee.

We didn’t have time to stop so I got off one bus and hopped on the other, took my bag with me because I so don’t check things with Greyhound anymore. Not since they lost my bag like six years ago. This time it wasn’t that crowded, I got the two seats to myself, pulled the seat back and popped on the best thing to go to sleep to. Firefly soundtrack. Popped that sucker on repeat and ended up dozing a few times; got up and called Court at some point, made some phone posts and then put my ass back to sleep.

After Firefly played three times and Serenity played four, I ended up popping on the light and pulled out my notebook, worked on a few challenges for btvsats_20 for Tara. Ended up doodling the K from the KANE CD’s and listening to the mix disk that I made with the new songs and the Steve songs I ripped for Leah from Steve's myspace. I think Dynamite is my favorite Steve song so far at this point.

We made a stop in Montgomery and then again in Birmingham for an hour a piece. Attempted to grab food but that so didn’t find anything food worthy. Ended up getting one of those pressed penny’s in Birmingham for my memory box collection [I lost track how many of those I have.]

Popped back on the bus and doodled a bit more in my book, wrote a bit of random tidbits for everyfiveyears for my Tara and Lindsey challenges till Leah called.

She wanted to see where I was and if everything was on time and what not, we ended up talking for about an hour till I got to the station and realized ‘umm, I’m twenty minutes from you, I should get my ass into the car…’.

Saw the most horrific sight waiting for Leah and her friend Julie to pick me up. Some guy in a cowboy hat [sexy], boots [sexy] and short shorts [OMG MY EYES!], I thought I was gonna die. I know people don’t get dressed up and shit for a bus…but that was just wrong. Very, very wrong.

I walked my ass outside [OMG WIND!] and waited for them and looking for Leah’s red pickup… *blink* I don’t think she realized how many red pickup’s there were in Nashville.

Leah and Julie showed up; now when I say Leah is exactly how I pictured her, I mean it. She’s just a trip. In walks this woman with blond hair, wearing a shirt that says ‘I have issues’ and this ‘attitude’ about her that is magnetic. lol. Plus? I also think she’s lying about having two kids; mom’s aren’t supposed to be awesome like that. *luff’s the Leahness* Only thing that’s different from how I pictured it was that she was without a beer…for the moment.

Hugged, said hello and headed out to the hotel. Got lost and turned around but quickly found it. The hotel was right outside everything and was a better price then I realized for the area. Made me one happy camper [became even better later on, you’ll see].

We three bullshitted for a while and they left about two to pick up Julie’s kids and leaving me to my own devices… *laughs* We all know that’s a bad thing.

No food, way over tired, reeking of bus, restless, excited and OMG bored.

Not a good combo it seems…

I jumped into the shower, unpacked my bags a bit [ok, it really looked like my bag exploded all over the room because I didn’t care where anything was at the moment], brushed out my hair and headed up to the office. I asked for a map and I already knew what I wanted to do. I wanted a tattoo.

Granted I’ve planned doing this for a while – years if you know me about the B one – but something always happens and I can’t get it or I don’t feel right getting it…something happens.

Not this time.

I headed out onto Broadway off Demonbrum – where the hotel is – and walked a bit. The tattoo place that everyone talked about was on Broadway and less than a half a mile from the hotel. Ipod firmly in place and I was very well on my way.

The tattoo place I ended up at was in an old bank building and the fucker was clean, way more than I expected or have seen. Inquired a bit about the place and looked over the artists. I have this thing, if you do tat’s and you have some of your own and they look good, chances are you or someone you work with did it so someone’s good.

Ended up with JD who was so nice and sweet to me. I was exhausted and overtired and so not on my game, but he was patient and told me all about what it entailed and I showed him my design and told him what I wanted exactly for the back of my neck.

He sketched it out on his own and tweaked it a bit – writing/drawing on the bus does not make smooth lines – and shrunk it down to the size I wanted, went over the aftercare with me and I paid the man.

He also drew out the second tattoo I wanted and I was kinda iffy about it. I think with the B on my toe I was so overly picky about it that I don’t think anything would have been ‘perfect’.

I paid for the one on my neck - $80 – and asked how much for a simple B on my big toe. $5 the manager said and I was thrilled. Not only for $85 for two tat’s but because most places won’t do it on your fingers or toes as I was told by Leah as well as the artist.

Now came the inking. He started with the tail end of the tat and it hurt like a bitch. Not the tattoo it’s self but the fact that the needle was vibrating in my spine. He asked me what was wrong and I explained my back problems to him.

What I very well left out is how my neck is more sensitive than anything and well… Bunny knows exactly what I’m talking about.

Tattoo’s I’m finding are nearly orgasmic; the best sex I never had. I want more. *cough*

When I say that JD was a god, I mean it. He mapped it out quick and easy, did the outline first and he would do a spot and stop for a second, then start again. He did this till he was done with the main part and all of the black. He then went onto the brown, we started talking about some random things and such – like Court getting a tat like we have planned – as well as some other things like where I was from and what I was doing in Nashville.

JD said that the one on my neck should take about an hour…it didn’t. He was done in about thirty minutes before he went on to do the second one on my toe.

We know me, I haven’t worn shoes aside from my chunkies in about five years, I wear sneakers up to Nashville and forget to pack the damn shoes so I’m now worried about how the tat’s going to fair going back into my shoes. Thankfully it was all good, JD did the tattoo real quick. He did the B like I paid for and then let the creative take over and he did the bunny ears like I wanted – which was the part I was picky about because I could never get some to look right – he even colored it in when I only paid for a simple black B.

White ink…hurts like fuck. The entire tat hurt, mostly the part where the B and the ears meet because it’s on the knuckle.

He wrapped me up, took a picture with my camera and I was on my way. But not before telling me that my skin was damn near made for inking because I never bled; he’s never had a non bleeder before. I also ended up buying this tattoo stuff called Ink Fixx, glad I did because as us girls find out later on while Driving Miss Chickie that there didn’t seem to be a damn drugstore in all of downtown Nashville.

*whispers* Want more ink… *cough*

I know, some of you are going ‘PICTURES FUCKER!’ so here they are. lol.
First one is the picture that JD took right after the inking. The last one is of the tattoo on my toe.

[Picture #1] [Picture #2] [Picture #3] [Picture #4]

*smirks and waits for reactions*

Yes, I got the K from KANE tattooed with a cowboy hat on my neck. It looks fantastic. It’s not totally fangirly in a way. I’ve had K as part of a few of my nicknames for a while so I figured why not. I got the KANE K for KANE naturally, as well as Kane [the boy. *purr*] and other reasons.

*blinks* Why am I explaining and trying to justify myself? *snort* I shouldn’t be and I’m not. I got it, I love it. Deal. Ha.

Then again it’s not like I went and got someone’s face or entire body tattooed on me, that’s just creepy. And a bit on the psycho side. *cough*

Ok, so I end up leaving the hotel and walking a bit down Broadway, there was a Kinko’s across the street but I was too damn tired – and hungry – to go online [yes, die of shock]. I ended up going to this one place and got a hotdog…omg ugh it was so bad. But I was too hungry to care. lol.

Hopped a public bus – ahhh the nostalgia for $1.50 bus fair – and got back to the hotel. Unwound for a bit – called up to the desk because the microwave blew the power out – cleaned the tat and then headed to the office where they said I could pop online for a few.

I did my thing, checked in, apparently became Chel’s hero. *giggle* Hobbled back to the room, grabbed a soda from the vending machine and proceeded to do everything possible not to fall asleep.

Called Court and talked for a few hours, rambled about random things. I don’t think I made an ounce of sense talking. Watched Charmed and bitched about no stations at the hotel. HBO had nothing on either.

It was about 9:30 when I called Shanna to see if the poor girl was alive and how the trip was going. We rambled and yammered about a few things. *giggle* thought she got pulled over for speeding but thankfully not. It’s very sad to say that I couldn’t tell you anything special we talked about aside from the OMG we’re tired aspect of the conversation because I was desperately trying not to fall asleep talking.

Ended up taking a nap and getting off the phone with her and waited for her call. Hotel was great, the bed…OMFG DIE. They sucked and hurt and made me real annoyed.

It was about one AM when Shanna called to wake my ass up and wondered into the hotel. I feel bad but I think the first words I said was ‘OMG I’m exhausted.’. Oops, but fun was had and Shan’s knows I love her – esp after Thursday *cough* - *bats lashes*.

Shanna went and washed the drive off of her and we proceeded to pass out; no worries Shanna, I was beyond ready to sleep at that point.

Thursday – I don’t know what the fuck was up with my body but I was up by 7 – would have been 8 my time – and wide awake. I had cramps from hell – nothing new – and I didn’t wanna wake Shanna up so I took my notebook and my Serenity comic into the bathroom with me.

Hey! I know, weird but I didn’t want to wake Shanna up after all that driving so I kept quiet. Turned the TV on after about an hour and put it on low – like lip reading low – and watched Charmed. Shanna woke up a bit later and ended up going out to her car and putting the parking pass in her car to save it from being toed. Decided to go over to the breakfast room to get food.

Add our ages together – twenty-four and twenty-six – and we still didn’t add up to one of the people that were there. We picked at juice and cereal before heading back into our room to wait for loudmouth – I mean Leah – to show up with Chickie.

The girls showed up a bit later when Shanna and I were dressed, we established that I shouldn’t be left alone in a new city and bored, talked for a little bit till Leah left to get ready and pick up Julie.

Chickie got settled and we headed out for food – we waited for Layla for a bit but were too hungry – ended up driving around and going to Sabarros. I’m so out of touch with city life but it’s been ages since I spent eight dollars on a small ziti and soda. Granted I didn’t eat most of it because we were all buzzing around and anxious for tonight.

Backtracking for a moment…

We decided that before we went for food we’d do a dry run to 12th and Porter to check out the place… Ok, you blink and you miss it. I’m so serious; it’s this small black building across from a bar/BBQ place. It was quiet so we kept driving and I’m not sure how but we ended up taking a wrong turn…

*snicker* We ended up in the getto, I mean seriously. The best part was that Chickie was the one in the back flipping out. Shanna quietly locked the door’s and tried not to giggle while Chickie flipped out in the back seat. “Why’d we stop? GO!!” As we quietly – but anxiously – waited for the school bus to move in front of us.

Me being the smart ass that I am decided to crack jokes… "Today two white women were killed in the ghetto while the third woman was taken to safety. The locals feared the third was being held against her will.” I then said something about ‘Driving Miss Chickie’ that made us all giggle as we pealed out of there and speeded off to find food.

While picking I was exposed for the first time to Chickie’s little pre-Chris spaz out. It’s like how I get with the anxious and it was so cute. Hehe. We were waiting for Layla [Ansky] to show up and call; which she did and we headed back to the hotel.

We all met up, talked, I showed off my ink and then we all decided to get dressed. No you perves, we weren't walking around the hotel naked – although there was an incident with bra’s and an open window. Finally dressed – and me with my hair recurled because it looked like total shit again *sigh* - the four of us piled into Shanna’s car – blasted KANE [House Rules again] – and headed over to 12th and Porter.

Parked in the lot behind and prayed that it wouldn’t rain. The door to the back room was open and we could see all the pretty standing and rehearsing. After a moment of oogling we headed into the bar – or well the tiny place that you could fit maybe fifty people in with breathing room – and the girl said they were still closed for another hour and to head over to the place next door.

So we did, it started to drizzle at that point when we walked across. Steve [later to be known as Steeeeeeeeeve!] was walking across, he seemed in a hurry so just waved and headed in. The four of us headed into the little hokey place and sitting at the bar was the second best thing that has come out of the south – yeah, I know, I’m biased – Brandon.

I met him at MR in the summer but I was running around so much that I didn’t have time to really talk and what not. We all ran around and got hugs and the sweetest thing was that Brandon remembered me from the con. So very cute and sweet. God he gives great hugs. *grin*.

Leah and Julie came in right after and I went out to get them. Showed off my ink to cement my insanity; that’s when ‘HEY FUCKER’ was born. *laugh* Brandon said he was doing security for the guys tonight and that’s why he was there; when asked who and why for he grinned *sigh* and said ‘You fuckers!’ Damn right.

We all hung around for a bit, got a round of Smirinoff’s since this bar didn’t do drinks, if it’s in a bottle they have it, otherwise you’re SOL… Ok then. lol.

The door’s open to 12th and Porter so we head out and piled into the bar, it seemed pretty quiet for the moment. We ended up meeting a few other people that are known on the circuit. Jackie and her friend [fuck if I remember her name *facepalm*] and Jerry [?]. Everyone kinda gravitated towards Chickie all night. You say the name and everyone’s ears perk up.

[Side note, I just ended up on page eight of word with this thing…damn I babble…]

The place started to crowd up – seemed like less than Leah said there was on Tuesday – and we lined up and waited to get into the back room. Eric was wondering around and as usual looked like a chicken looking for his damn head. Poor thing must have his hands full with those boys.

Finally like cattle we ended up going into the other end of the club and when I say we were at the stage…I mean we were at the stage, we ended up putting our purses on the speakers Damnit. [Pic Here] You'll notice that some of my pics have Chickie in them. hehe. Always fun.

The wait…omg it was insane. It wasn’t long but it felt like for-fucking-ever. Leah and Julie were off to the side of the stage and Leah being the klepto she is [as I say that with LOVE!] took the set list. She was awesome enough to make copies. [Picture Here]

So the chanting starts for the boys to come out. It gets loud and intense, the entire room is vibrating with energy and everyone was loaded and ready. The camera crew from CMT was there filming and talked to some fans. I didn’t have the balls – or mouth – enough to point myself out and show them my tattoo…oh well.

Lights blacked out and everyone but Christian came up on stage, you could hear everything even over the yelling. The camera’s started flashing and you could then the harmonica started – only getting more screams out of us – while it played in the dark. [Picture Here]

Then the big boy came out, lights came up and up started House Rules. To be redundant…they rocked, they kicked a whole lot of ass from the first beat of the drums on. Us being the nuts that we are – Chickie, Shanna, Layla and I – went and tossed up mardi gras beads during that one part of the song. Christian grinned down at us and totally played it up. Loved it.

Everything’s kind of a blur, I used my amazing camera and did some video clips that came out awesome, we ended up picking up some of the feedback from the speakers but it’s all good. I tried taking stills of the concert but well…Christian runs around the stage like a crack child with ADD. I love it; the energy is addicting. But my pictures and camera don’t and they came out blurry. Steve tossed out one of the beads at the end of the song and I think there was fighting over it…

There was also lifting of the shirt and then subtle grabbing of parts…just when you think that man can’t get sexier…

Next was Middle American Saturday Night; a song I’ve always loved. They then played a song I’ve never heard before – I’m not sure if it’s a cover (which I doubt) or a new song that we should all be chanting to have recorded - Wish You Were Here. I was so in the zone with this song and some stupid little twiggy cunt behind me said I was crowding her… *blink* excuse me, I’m standing there, you can move, I was there first whore. *cough* Yes, fangs are bared when I spend nearly 20 hours traveling to see a thirty minute show.

Back to the pretty. The song was fantastic and mellow, it’s one of those mellow songs that just make you get lost in the moment. I want to hear it recorded. Now, KTHX. It’s been a while since I’ve been in love with a slow song like this.

Somethin’s Gotta Give was the next song. Words can’t say how much I loved listening to this song; every time it plays I love it more, seriously. I ended up listening to it on loop at one point on the way home.

Their final song was Lucky Boar Texas which I’ve never heard before; it was so much fun to hear live.

The entire time I don’t think anyone stayed still, I know I didn’t and my pictures show that. lol. [Concert Pictures Here] It’s all a pleasant blur.

I was in front of Steve the entire time; well I think it was right in front of him and Chris straight away. Granted I heard them play at Moonlight Rising this was so much better. I didn’t have the pleasure of soaking everything up like I did this time and this concert was amazing. I missed the few people I wished could share it with me and I had a blast with everyone that was there with me.

Chris did the toast and when the concert ended he thanked us for coming and you could see the amazement and gratitude in his eyes that we were there to see him and it wasn’t even a full concert.

Side note: from what I know he was a fuck of a lot more relaxed this round because the fans were upfront and not all the suits – which I really didn’t see there at all.

The concert ended with much sadness. Everyone was anxious for more and it was like the worlds greatest tease that we were a part of. Then again I think that they could have played for seven hours and that still wouldn’t have been enough.

There was a bit of a lull and then Chris and Steve came out to do autographs and what not – I’m sure the rest of the band did but sadly I admit I still need to brush up on who’s who – and I made Shanna take me over to meet Steve.

Now, for me being the big mouth that I am I can be wicked shy when I’m nervous. I don’t know why I was so nervous or anything but I was and Shanna was great. She introduced us and he shook my hand – god he’s got warm rough guitar hands – and proceeded to call me Laura. *laughs* It was too noisy to correct him but I got a pretty picture with the big, warm and very nice smelling man. [Picture Here].

I adore that picture, he always seems to have this ‘I know something you don’t know’ and devious look on his face. I love it. Hehe.

[Side note...You can tell how much I've been drinking as the night goes on. My face gets redder and redder...I think I look like a glow worm at the bar.]

After my picture with Steve, Layla got hers [Picture Here] and then Shanna hers [Picture Here]

Some BSing went on and then I kindly dragged Layla over to Chris with me where we stood and tried to get his attention. But apparently the twiggy girls with the big tits were in the way. I made a crack that we weren't that but together we were – me with the rack and her with the twiggy – god I amuse me sometimes. [Picture Here]

We finally got up there and Layla I’m so sorry if I just kinda ignored you and forgot about you. I forgot my own name at one point being around him.

He grinned at me – not that slow as molasses smile but that cheeky ‘hey you’ smile – and I got a nice big hug. He signed the Live in London CD for me for my dearest Meg [Picture Here] – which proceeded him to call me Megan’s Friend – and I got another hug and a picture. [Picture Here].

I got another hug – ok, one can never OD on Christian hugs, seriously – and I don’t remember what exactly I said but I told him about my twenty hour bus ride and that I got a tattoo. He was like ‘oh really’ and I turned and showed him.

Everything’s a blur but I think his reaction was basically ‘No fucking way man, you’ve gotta be shittin’ me. Is that real?” He touched it and it hurt like hell but did we notice how much I didn’t care when he wrapped his arm around my neck for the other picture? Ok then. Good pain is just that…mmmm good. *cough*

This next little part was my down fall. I didn’t take my own damn advice! I looked into his eyes. Dear god in heaven it should be illegal. That man’s got eyes that…

*lost thought*

Ok, where was I…oh yeah.

He thought it was so cool and then pointed to this guy – who’s name so escapes me, sorry – by the door to the back rooms and asked me to go show him. I think I was so spazed that I didn’t even say goodbye – but I did say thank you – and went over to him. He introduced himself and the girl he was with – Renee – I remember her name because that’s my middle name. Like a big ass goober I said that too.

I got a hug from him – v-nice – and talked to him for a few. He asked me how I knew about the show and all that and I told him and it was a good conver.

Then I spazed around a bit more – like I was able to do anything but that at this point – and then pulled my CD from my bag and brought it over to Steve. I figured since everyone got their chance for pictures and what not that I could get him to sign the black CD for me and the London for Meg.

He was talking to his friend and I politely managed to get in. More talking happened and I told him of the tattoo. He said that it was awesome and he must toast to me. Which happened but I never had the nerve to say that I detest beer – the girls will tell you that there were reasons that I made sure to drink the entire thing – and then I went back to futzing around. At some point I ended up with Steve’s shot glass beads and I currently have it hanging on my desk with the other beads and Christian’s guest pass from MR that he signed.

I tried to get back over to Chris again to get a signature for myself but hey, poor man is always being molested but us fuckers so it’s ok that I didn’t get back over there.

We were then herded like cattle by little miss Leah into the main area of the bar where we all attacked poor Brandon… Wait. By saying ‘poor Brandon’ would assume that he didn’t like it… The fucker loved it. *grin*

We all got our pictures with him [Me & Brandon] [Layla & Brandon] [Leah & Brandon] [Chickie & Brandon]

Chris was doing more sigs with other people and I managed to get a few pretty candid’s of him. [Here] & [Here] – the first one is my favorite. The hair and…everything.

/fangirlng

We drank. We talked. We swooned. We yelled at the Jack Tease. The noise and what not started to kinda get to me so I headed outside to call my girl. Hehe Meg and I talked for about 30 minutes and totally spazed out. I didn’t want to tell her about the sig’s but I couldn’t not! I was too wired and slightly buzzed and I was upset too – though I hid it well – because she wasn’t there. *sigh*

I went back in and a bit later we headed over to the BBQ place across the street and waited for our ‘appointment’. ‘Appointment’ is Chickie code for ‘Boys said where they were going, we’re going. It’s hushhush’. I so love it.

This is when all six of us headed over to the bar across the street; ordered beer’s and Julie ordered the salsa from hell. It cleared up my sinuses the little bit I had. My god that stuff was horrid, this is coming from the girl who once drank a full bottle on a dare and liked it.

We eventually all piled in our cars and headed over to the hotel – blasting House Rules all the way – and decided against changing totally before heading across the street to The Tin Cup.

Now when I say this place was where to be, I so mean it. Steve was at the bar – and stayed there the entire night – and Chris was towards the bathroom and enthralled with his game of arcade put-put.

One thing that amused me so much – maybe it was partly from the liquor – was that Chris’ idea of ‘incognito’ was a ski hat with the red shirt… Ok, how cute. That shirt is legendary, seriously, it has it’s own website and he thinks he’s gonna hide like that? Plus that just pop’s in a crowd…

That was just cute. lol.

Ok, we ordered drinks, drank – a lot – and the night is one long glorious blur. Seriously. There was one amazingly smashed chick that was drunk and kept hitting on me. I told her I was taken then ignored her and bought Layla and I drinks; she looked quite sad sitting and trying to get the last bit from the ice. lol.

I do remember at one point when we were sitting with Jackie that I decided to add to the wall of writing – every wall was written on – and I stepped over Chickie and Shanna and wrote on the wall. [Here] and Shanna wrote as well [Here]. Yes, the Hydra’s live on. I also wrote on the walls in the bathroom but I was too drunk to pic it. I prob would have dropped it in the toilet if I tried.

Shanna was…*snicker* the drunkest I believe, we were all a few sheets to the wind but she was loud… *giggle* She’s an amusing drunk, till she spills my drink when Aaron called me.

Yes, Aaron called while I was drunk and I quickly got off the phone with him. Who knows what I would say when I’m that bombed. Oops.

Brandon came by and we all got hugs and pictures again with him – not that he’d remember at this point – and Chickie got her nightly dose of Charmin squeezing. Well, that was after he decided to ‘grope’ her. [Picture #1] [Picture #2] Layla has my pic with Brandon on her cam.

About 1am rolled around and it was so time to call it a night. Miss Margarita was ready to zonk and we decided to drag her across to the hotel room. On our way out we had to get a hold of Steve to say goodnight. Chickie and I saw Chris leave earlier saying he was coming back…uhhuh, sure.

Leah was off somewhere with one of her…boys and Shanna was the first to spot Steve….or should I say ‘STEEEEEEEEEEEVE!’ *cough*. Sorry honey but it was hysterical.

I don’t think that Steve was anywhere near sober enough to react and we all got hugs. I made a wise ass comment about hearing about his legendary hugs and I got a hand shake. lol. So I got a real nice hug from him. Strong arms, boy smell nice.

*cough*

Ok, back to the rest of the night.

We managed to get little miss drunky across the street to the hotel after we said goodnight to Leah, Julie and their…friends.

I headed to the office for menus because we had the munchies; none of us ate all day so we were really feeling it at this point. Ended up ordering pizza while Shanna became ‘Bubble Bubble’.

*snickers amusingly* That was too amusing; but thankfully she was ok after a while. We finally got our food, after nearly falling asleep waiting for it. Ate and then passed the hell out while Shanna was still bubble bubble.

Friday – Woke up to find Shanna in the bed. Gee, thanks guys. Ha. Stick me with the drunky. But the logic that I was closest to the bathroom made…logic.

We got up and it’s very strange but we all felt fine, like really fine. Leah came by and we all ended up hanging out; sadly Layla had to leave early *sob* to head back home so I was busty without the twiggy *snort*.

The four of us yammered about the night before – the drinking and pretty boys – and the fact that Leah was thankful to Jack Tease for not giving her the bottle. Poor thing. Even though we felt pretty fine we all kinda looked like shit. lol. At least I did and Leah had on hangover glasses.

Most amusing thing that morning had to be when we piled into the car and Shanna turned the car on and scared the crap out of Leah who was crunched in the backseat. We forgot to turn down the radio when we got out of the car the night before and nearly send the poor thing through the roof. Oops.

I so <3 the girls for humoring me. I said the night before that I wanted Chinese because I can’t get decent down here. We went but after a night of drinking…oh lord. But we ate – Leah picked and tried not to look like she had a trucks license plate tattooed on her forehead – and then walked around a bit, popped into a few stores to check out souvenirs to bring home. Went to Kinko’s to check in with everyone and taunt the boards some. I got a few of the pics printed out and got the ones with Chris, Steve and Brandon printed out for me.

Now that’s saying something to the time I had out in Nashville because I have yet to do that with anything from MR.

After a bit more shopping we headed back to the hotel and BSed for a bit before Leah headed back to Julies. We said our goodbye’s and the three of us hung out at the hotel for a bit, oogling the video’s I got the night before and squeeing over the little heart that Chris made up on stage at one point. Yes, we’re dorks.

Decided to head up to the other end of Broadway to find dinner, couldn’t find anything special so we ended up at Chili’s. We ended up with the most amusing waiter ever. Said he was supposed to go to the showcase but didn’t, mentioned he had a girlfriend and then started flirting with me.

Amused can’t even begin to tell you.

Flirted back a bit and we ate, Chickie did some texting back and forth while we ate. We had the case of ‘eyes bigger than our stomach’ again and ended up tossing half of what we got; even though mine was real good – even the sour cream Shanna *snort* - we ordered a lava cake to go and decided to have that when we watched Close To Home at the hotel.

Before we left the three of us decided to torment the poor waiter. We told him to sit down and he did – putting his arm around me and leaning to me – and we proceeded to tell him with a straight face that he wasn’t getting a tip because he didn’t go to 12th and Porter the night before. He thought we were serious and his face so fell. But we told him we were teasing and gave him a nice tip before heading out and back to the hotel to unwind and watch the three channels that the hotel got.

Sat around and watched Close To Home – which Christian wasn’t in which sucked – we flipped around a bit and ended up seeing the end of Conviction before watching GAC till about one am and going to bed.

We decided that since my bus wasn’t till four and Chickies flight wasn’t till later on as well that we’d all go and get breakfast before dropping me off at the station. It took us about an hour to finally find a place to eat – seriously – every place in Nashville had everything but breakfast. There wasn’t one breakfast place in all of town. We finally found one place on the other end of town and there was way too much yellow and blue there.

Chickie and I hovered around one table that seated four but had one guy reading the paper. He finally got up and we took the table. Go team us. Shanna was a sweetie and ordered for all three of us and I still say that I should have ordered one pancake. When I say the fucker was huge, I so mean it.

After we ate we headed to Kinko’s to get our last bit of net before the road. I checked my mail and printed up the two tags that I had from Meg. Mmmm pretty and angsty. *cough*

The three of us decided to take in a bit more of Broadway and walked up and over a bit, eating up time before going back to Kinko’s and then heading out to the bus station.

Chickie and Shanna dropped me off, exchanged well wishes and hugs. Chickie said she was glad I came and I finally realized that I was ecstatic that I came. The last fan events I’d gone to left such a sour taste in my mouth that I had second thoughts about going to Nashville but I’m glad I said screw it and went.

Best time ever.

Now, onto the horrid time coming home. Worst time ever.

Had lunch at the station – for station food it ain’t that bad, bout time I had good southern food it’s been a long time since – then I called Court when I was done. She was probably sleeping so I pulled out my book and wrote a bit. I think I managed to write two prompts and a fic for my au100 challenge.

Waited an hour and called Court back, talked and gushed for a bit before heading to wait for the bus. Called and talked to Meg for a bit on the bus. Things got crowded and I started to have one of my fits again.

It was about eight or nine by the time I was totally spazzing out that I had to call someone. I didn’t wanna bother Court because of school shit so I called Bunny. I so <3 talking to Bunny and I’ve decided that we have to do it more Damnit.

Bunny and I talked about everything from ‘fucking hell I wish you were there and I didn’t think about it but you could have come up with Shanna’ to ‘Adam and Amber forever!’ *snickers*

We talked for about an hour before she had to go get ready for her night out. I was so glad to talk to her because I was gonna flip the fuck out on someone. Between the over crowded and hot ass bus to the incredibly stinky guy that sat next to me.

Sorry, but I don’t care how fucking cute you are, showers are a good thing Damnit. So he sat next to me till we ended up in Birmingham and I then took the two seats to myself till Montgomery. Hopped out and flew across the highway to McDonalds. Alright, someone tell me how ‘three burgers no mustard’ translates into ‘three double cheese burgers with extra mustard’?

Picked at them till this kid started screaming on the bus he was hungry. He told his grandmother he didn’t wanna eat before so she didn’t bother moving. So I gave her my burger and fries before popping in Serenity and sleeping. I’m so glad I took that damn pillow from the hotel – I do it every trip – and slept pretty decently. Kept waking up from the smell of that guy and dear god I wanted to kill someone.

Rest of the bus ride was boring, looked at the phone and had nobody to call which sucked. The bus was about fifteen minutes late but I got home before noon like I wanted.

Too wound up to sleep so I got online and futzed around. Didn’t get to sleep till about 1am and I think that’s about the end of this cracktastic tale…

Hmm, I think that’s everything; literally. There are a few bits and bobbles I’m sure I left out. I know that there were a few country music people there – apparently Joe Don was there from Rascal Flats – but we all know that when pretty boy is there I can’t see anything else. Tunnel vision I guess. *snicker* Oblivious is nice once in a while.

Wow, sixteen pages...who says I don’t babble?

Fic: Betrayal

remember_nomore — Sun, 02 Oct 2005 22:23:29 GMT

Fic: Betrayal
Fandom: Firefly
Ship: None
Characters: You'll see
Spoilers: If you haven't seen the movie...don't read.
Authors Notes: I started writing this in one character and it ended up another. Feedback is gold.

I can still feel them, still hear them screaming from the inside, screaming outside. Bones pressing against me, silent cries that nobody can hear. Give up, gave up. Nothing more to say, nothing to do.

Drenched in blood, my skin desecrated. A haven turned into hell, trying to blend in. Blend and mix to fit in, pass by without danger. A reminder to stay away. No more peace, no more calm.

Storm’s over, I can feel the rain though, washing clean. Bits and pieces of people finding their matches, the shards that make them whole again.

Kaylee finally getting her desire, the captain letting himself get a bit closer to his. Zoë… Dear Zoë breaking when no one else is looking, missing Wash. He was always the funny one. Making me giggle when he didn’t think anyone could hear him. But I heard him, felt him leave too.

And that beautiful girl that loves to dance inside me. Dance with her bare feet as she sings a tune that has no meaning. She used to hear when I cried, but she’s better now. Fixed; not so broken anymore.

No matter how I’m dressed up anymore. I’ll never be able to wash away that feeling of betrayal.

True words to live by...

remember_nomore — Sun, 28 Nov 2004 17:46:17 GMT

Found this....uhh not sure where. lol... but it's goodness. It's good words that I am striving for. I think this is something for everyone.
Also the reason why I'm making it public.

Sometimes, I find myself blind.
Don't use my brain.
Don't use my mind.
Distorted feelings always leading my way.
I must forgive myself and let the past lay down to rest, and be prepared to face myself in another day.

I am a work in progress, dressed in the fabric of a world unfolding; offering me intricate patterns of questions, rhythms that never come clean, and strengths that you still haven't seen.

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another.
Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are.

After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with.
We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.

We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, when we are able to go on a nice vacation or when we retire.

The truth is there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?

Your life will always be filled with challenges.

So, stop waiting . . .

Until your car or home is paid off.
Until you get a new car or home.
Until your kids leave the house.
Until you go back to school.
Until you finish school.
Until you lose 10 lbs.
Until you gain 10 lbs.
Until you get married.
Until you get a divorce.
Until you have kids.
Until you retire.
Until summer..
Until spring.
Until winter.
Until fall.
Until you die.

There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
So work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt, and, dance like no one's watching.

I have struggles in life just like everyone else does .... but I'm not going to wait until life is perfect in order to let myself be happy because life will never be perfect.

I am happy ... and if I should die tomorrow, I'd have no regrets.