reiq

reiq @ 2012-04-25T08:42:00

2012-04-24T22:42:22Z

They went with songs to the battle, they were young.
Straight of limb, true of eyes, steady and aglow.
They were staunch to the end against odds uncounted,
They fell with their faces to the foe.

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning,
We will remember them.

reiq @ 2012-02-04T00:07:00

2012-02-03T13:07:16Z

we'll live wild
for a time
you and I

we'll escape from the steel and concrete jungle we usually call home, full of the teeming morass of humanity that seems so apelike in such concentrated numbers
howling and hooting, chirping and screaming
so much insensible noise to ward away so much insubstantial fear

to a place where, instead of finding comfort in community, we'll seek strength in solitude
to live off the land, rugged and weatherworn
and become so much greater for it

and perhaps someday, with the right mix of persistance, determination and zeal, we might come to emulate the heroes of this land
rich in character, strong in spirit
and worldly beyond all expectations

and perhaps
for a fleeting moment
we'll catch a glimpse of the Urals from Anchorage

reiq @ 2011-08-31T16:48:00

2011-08-31T06:48:44Z

Getting back into the swing of things now that I have some free time.

reiq @ 2011-05-26T19:41:00

2011-05-26T09:41:12Z

What's the funniest thing you'd recommend to me for use in contraception?

Don't think too long and don't try to explain it, I want total fucking whimsy here.

GO

reiq @ 2010-07-15T15:53:00

2010-07-15T05:53:41Z

Nobody deletes my livejournal but ME!

If you include the bad decisions I make.

woop woop

reiq @ 2010-03-10T14:18:00

2010-03-10T03:18:17Z

And so the dynamic changes.

As life adjusts to this new, foreign element, we see the process in motion. Curiosity giving way to a leaner, more inquisitive Interest. What was once a purely Cerebral element become tainted with radical Emotion.

Somewhat akin to a lifeless planet catching a new satellite in its gravity well; the initial event is monumental, truly a force of nature, but the invisible pressure it begins exerting could have vast unforeseen consequences.

And they will know us by the cadence of our words, the beating of our hearts through our lips, and they will know we have taken enough. These swine will realize their time is come, that they must now look for us even in their dreams, for we must now change all that they are.

reiq @ 2009-05-15T23:49:00

2009-05-15T13:50:32Z

I think there's a fundamental part in me, perhaps in everyone, that takes satisfaction in seeing karma in action.

There's something almost primally pleasurable in seeing someone, having committed a bad deed, be punished by the universe in turn. It was Newton who gave us the principle of action and reaction, cause and effect, but really he was just touching on something we had already known for some time, something we almost worship in our own way.

Justice systems around the globe are based on the idea of just and equal consequence. They made a song out of the punishment fitting the crime, for fuck's sake. Our love for this concept causes us to wax poetical and base our civilizations around it, despite the fact that it's an ideal largely of our own creation. We don't care. We love it so much we don't care if it exists or not. We give it names and offer it lovely treats and spill blood over it.

It is a compulsion, an obsession taken to the sociopathic extreme en masse over and over and over again. The idea that the universe is one big ledger, and there'll always be that big invisible hand to balance the figures and make it all add up.

As an addendum, the realization that you're willfully participating in a species-wide delusion can be quite sobering. If I weren't already certain of the fact that I was insane, this would probably drive me over the edge.

reiq @ 2009-04-10T09:37:00

2009-04-09T23:38:15Z

Oh look, I'm older.

:|

reiq @ 2009-03-16T16:28:00

2009-03-16T05:30:51Z

I really hoped that I'd have my computer back by now, but in any case:

I'm finally employed.

Really employed, that is. Not working small chunks of time a week for actually quite nice wages but which ultimately amounted to fuck all in the scheme of things.

Working night shift for some of the most evil bastards this country has ever seen, but the people I've interacted with so far seem quite nice.

I'm nervous.

I'm elated.

I want my computer back already dammit.

reiq @ 2009-02-19T22:57:00

2009-02-19T11:58:26Z

Dear Computer:

I will throw you next door for the dogs to piss all over you and for the children to use you as some form of improvised percussion instrument if you do not stop fucking up all the time.

Yours

-V

reiq @ 2009-01-23T13:10:00

2009-01-23T02:11:33Z

I am now the proud owner of one (1) [count em] Federal Government Approved handout. All for doing a week's worth of nothing much.

Life is good.

reiq @ 2008-12-19T10:55:00

2008-12-18T23:56:09Z

update because why not

d'aww :3

reiq @ 2008-11-13T17:47:00

2008-11-13T06:48:13Z

Puppies! :3

reiq @ 2008-10-20T00:14:00

2008-10-19T13:18:53Z

i crawled for four days across fields of frozen clover to bleed azure droplets on your doormat

we will have a picnic in this crystalline wasteland

we have exceeded expectations

reiq @ 2008-09-07T20:17:00

2008-09-07T10:22:24Z

You're dreaming.

In your dream live your thoughts, and in this dream your thoughts are disturbing.

A room appears. This room is not for occupying. You are in a corridor. The corridor of a particularly ordinary suburban home. Shoe rack by the door. Keys in a dish on a small piece of furniture. Ducks in flight captured hideously in plaster adorning the walls.

You move on, the transient nature of the room pushing you along.

You pass through into the lounge room. You have identified it as the lounge room because it has all the accoutrements a lounge room often has. Sofa, television, dining table, a cabinet full of all the cutlery and dining ware you'll ever need and never use.

These objects are but background noise to the otherworldliness this room contains.

Arrayed against the back wall is a group of flamingos. They are dressed in tutus, tiaras and combat boots. They have come to replace the Guatemalan national ballet, who was stopped by customs from entering the country due to allegations of cannibalism from several key federal agencies. They are prancing elegantly in the background, to the tune of Edvard Grie's Aases Tod.

The solemnity of the music makes the grace of the dancing birds seem melancholy, almost depressing, as if these surrealist creatures in their mocking uniforms are representative of the world itself crying in despair. They seem to you the very tears of the universe set against the velvet, crazed backdrop of insanity.

Your genitals begin to swell of their own accord.

You have become the inter-dimensional doppelganger of the Marquis de Sade himself, replete with evil twin beard and eye patch. Your new found capacity for cruelty both sickens and delights you, like a blind man coming out of the dark for the first time of his life into an aching vista of pain and suffering, agony and torment.

Through the glass of the window facing the street, you see none other than Sigmund Freud spooning with Carl Gustav Jung in the back of an old convertible, their eyes red with passion and copious amounts of cocaine. Behind them, a fire hydrant spews forth steam into the night sky, a herald of transitional changes that is lost on the amorous psychoanalysts, fumbling as they are in each other's embrace.

A servant enters the room. She is your high school chemistry teacher. She begins extolling to you the basic principles of quantum theory while performing an elaborate striptease. She manages not only to serve you a very complicated beverage but she also traces back your family tree for 12 generations, highlighting which unions proved fruitful and those that ultimately did not.

Three salesmen enter the house and begin to solicit you. They wish to sell you a dirge composed for your own demise. As you struggle to politely decline, they set upon you with small pins and thread. They are intent on pricking you to death and transforming your corpse into some form of stringed instrument on which their lament can be played. The agony that spreads through your body is intoxicating.

You awake.

Your pulse is racing, your skin damp with sweat. You feel like you have experienced a stroke, a heart attack and sexual release all in one.

Disappointment settles in your mind as you realize you will never achieve anything so bizarre in your life.

reiq @ 2008-08-20T15:49:00

2008-08-20T05:51:51Z

Days like today really remind me of China. The heat, the smoke, the dry, clinging air...

Days like today make it seem like the world is on fire.

I love a sunburnt country.

reiq @ 2008-07-19T17:49:00

2008-07-19T07:53:01Z

Reverse Mormon.

Definition: Someone who comes to your door early in the morning and asks what you've done with Jesus. WHERE IS HE!? WHAT DID YOU DO WITH HIM YOU HEATHEN.

reiq @ 2008-06-19T22:50:00

2008-06-19T12:52:24Z

To whom it may concern,

Kingdom of Loathing is officially Fucking Awesome again.

That is all.

reiq @ 2008-06-02T15:51:00

2008-06-02T05:54:33Z

I suppose I should update this thing so the gaps between entries aren't quite so cavernous huh

goddamn if I have anything to talk about though

reiq @ 2008-05-06T21:10:00

2008-05-06T11:11:01Z

Whoever said erudition in women wasn't sexually attractive deserves to be shot in both knees.

Just FYI.

reiq @ 2008-04-23T21:17:00

2008-04-23T11:20:24Z

How many of you have ever contemplated making love while roleplaying as characters from the Cosby Show?

C'mon, I want to know who in my social circle has a locked drawer full of cuffs, whips and large, patterned sweaters. There's got to be at least one.

reiq @ 2008-04-10T23:06:00

2008-04-10T13:06:29Z

fuck you, aging

reiq @ 2008-03-25T19:22:00

2008-03-25T08:23:29Z

everything is dying

summer

my stepfather's sister

my CHAIR

its not fair dammit

Project Monolith: Complete

2008-02-22T06:42:29Z

today is a fine day

reiq @ 2008-02-16T15:17:00

2008-02-16T04:19:58Z

(14:51:21) Babycakes73708: hey
(14:51:36) RE: hi
(14:51:36) Babycakes73708 logged in.
(14:52:54) Babycakes73708: whats goin on
(14:53:05) RE: nummuch, sup wit u
(14:53:42) Babycakes73708: nm just sittin my friend joe brightons
(14:53:54) RE: does he have any cialix to sell me
(14:54:03) Babycakes73708: YES
(14:54:07) Babycakes73708: how did you know
(14:54:29) RE: that joe brightons is all about the cialix
(14:54:36) RE: he is sitting on hell of ed meds
(14:54:43) Babycakes73708: ?
(14:54:51) Babycakes73708: what are you talking about
(14:55:01) RE: hey you're the stalker you don't get to question me
(14:55:07) Babycakes73708: do u need em or not>:o
(14:55:14) Babycakes73708: how do i stalk you
(14:55:20) RE: WELL MAYBE I NEED A WHOLE BUNCH
(14:55:27) RE: MAYBE I NEED HORSE VIAGRA TO GET IT UP
(14:55:29) RE: WHATS IT TO YOU
(14:55:46) Babycakes73708: how do i stalk you
(14:55:56) Babycakes73708: i dont unerstand
(14:56:11) RE: CM if this is you you really need another hobby
(14:56:28) Babycakes73708: i dunno sometimes
(14:56:39) Babycakes73708: i think im always falling for you
(14:57:00) RE: whachoo think im fallin for
(14:57:07) RE: Babycakes73708
(14:57:23) Babycakes73708: man you need some jumper cables or somethin
(14:57:40) RE: yeah cos this is an interrogation baby and im the fbi
(14:57:48) RE: do your parents know where you are
(14:58:35) Babycakes73708: This is the FBI?!?!?!?!?
(14:58:41) Babycakes73708: OMG
(14:58:46) Babycakes73708: For REAL?
(14:59:08) RE: lol nah babycakes73708 its just the CIA
(14:59:15) RE: we don't hurt people
(14:59:34) Babycakes73708: What are you serious am i in troublle or is someone messing w/me
(14:59:39) Babycakes73708: ?????????????????????????
(15:00:24) Babycakes73708: Am I in serious trouble????
(15:00:26) RE: i think mebbe you got the wrong number hold on
(15:00:36) RE: lemme get the LAPD in here
(15:00:45) Babycakes73708: SERIOUSLY??????
(15:00:51) Babycakes73708: Whats the LAPD?
(15:01:01) RE: well maybe you ain't in trouble but we gotta clear this up
(15:01:02) Babycakes73708: are those cops?
(15:01:06) RE: seriously this is hell of paperwork
(15:01:17) Babycakes73708: what can i do to clear it up???
(15:01:26) Babycakes73708: i'll do anything
(15:01:35) Babycakes73708: please tell me what to do??
(15:01:42) RE: well you can call 911 ask to speak to detective mitchells he will sort it all out aight?
(15:01:52) RE: hes my bro
(15:01:58) RE: srsly he is such a nice dude
(15:02:03) Babycakes73708: my phone has 911 blocked
(15:02:08) Babycakes73708: I can't call it
(15:02:22) RE: well in that case you call 221 its a redirect
(15:03:17) Babycakes73708: hello, this is Linda's father, who are you and why are you posing as an F.B.I. agent? Why are you telling my daighter to call 911? What you are doing is a federal offense.
(15:03:36) Babycakes73708: what is your name????
(15:03:36) RE: hello sir i am the fbi how can i help you
(15:03:45) RE: sir i am the fbi everything is under control
(15:03:55) RE: your daughter got lost on the internet but she is fine
(15:04:06) Babycakes73708: I am reporting you. My daughter is 15 and you're harrasing her.
(15:04:25) Babycakes73708: What is your name?
(15:04:32) RE: sir this is the fbi we are serious
(15:04:51) RE: we are the fbi and we are serious
(15:05:30) Babycakes73708: I am a Wayne county disrict judge! I will find out who's screen name this is.
(15:05:37) RE: sir you need to call the CIA as soon as possible
(15:05:44) RE: they will vouch for this investigation
(15:05:49) Babycakes73708: You better tell me your name.
(15:06:02) RE: we have reason to believe your daughter is servicing al quaeda terrorists with illicit narcotics
(15:06:09) RE: this is part of an investigation sir
(15:06:31) Babycakes73708: Posing as a law inforcement officer, regardless of if it's online or not, is a serious offense. Are you familiar with the PAtroit Act?
(15:06:57) RE: are you aware that it is a federal offense to stand in the way of an investigation sir
(15:07:10) RE: i am going to have to ask you to comply
(15:07:11) Babycakes73708: Give me your name!
(15:07:24) RE: SIR THIS IS A FEDERAL INVESTIGATION YOU NEED TO COMPLY NOW SIR
(15:09:26) Babycakes73708: I am reporting you, that's it. Posing as an agent and/or mentioning Al Qeda are reason enough. And my daughter is 15 and you're talking about errectial dysfunction medicine. How old are you?
(15:09:54) RE: joe brightons is that you
(15:10:27) Babycakes73708: This is Linda's father, how old are you?
(15:10:34) RE: who is linda
(15:11:14) Babycakes73708: My daughter, the one you have been talking to and asking:RealityExtension: WELL MAYBE I NEED A WHOLE BUNCH
RealityExtension: MAYBE I NEED HORSE VIAGRA TO GET IT UP
RealityExtension: WHATS IT TO YOU
(15:11:25) RE: seriously linda who
(15:11:34) RE: i go through like five lindas a week
(15:11:52) Babycakes73708: I advise you never to tlak to my daughter again!
(15:12:02) RE: you ain't my lawyer
(15:12:09) RE: you don't have power of attourney
(15:12:10) Babycakes73708: And if you won't tell me your name, I will find it out.
(15:12:36) Babycakes73708: You don't know what power of attorney is and you cannot even spell it properly.
(15:12:49) RE: oh you americans
(15:12:54) RE: ho ho ho
(15:12:54) Babycakes73708: You're talking to an educated adult.
(15:13:07) RE: educated american adult that's like a contradiction in terms
(15:13:14) RE: you know what that is right
(15:13:20) RE: contradiction?
(15:13:26) Babycakes73708: Contradiction? Do you even know what that means?\
(15:13:30) RE: I ASKED FIRST
(15:13:44) Babycakes73708: Don't you mean that it's oxmornical?
(15:13:58) RE: see i knew you were trying to push ed meds
(15:14:12) RE: oxmornical is totally some horse viagra
(15:14:37) Babycakes73708: You wish. But unlike you, beastality is not somehting I enjoy.
(15:14:58) RE: man can you put linda back on now
(15:15:05) RE: or joe he seemed like fun
(15:15:10) Babycakes73708: BUH BYE,
(15:15:23) RE: SERIOUSLY WHERE IS MY HORSE VIAGRA
(15:15:32) Babycakes73708 logged out.