On saying goodbye to toxic fandoms.
I left the 
gibbs_dinozzo community today. It's been building for a while. I like the ship a lot, and I used to like reading the episode discussions. Lately, though, they're not episode discussions so much as one big, long moan about Ziva. Her crimes include being competent at her job, having a father/daughter relationship with Gibbs and talking to Tony. *rolls eyes*
I'm not a fan of Tiva, but that's more due to my general disinterest in the way TV shows write m/f romances than anything about this pairing in particular.
Anyhow, I got tired of the rampant hatred in these episode discussions. It made me feel hesitant to offer my opinions at all. It all felt too hostile for me. I contacted one of the mods/owners/etc and said as much. In return, they basically delivered every thing that bothered me about the episode discussions into my very own PM box. Awesome.
Got a bit defensive when I said I thought a lot of people hated her for breaking up their OTP. Note, I never claimed she did that, however. She responded as if I had. Overidentifying much? Anyhow, the gist of the whole conversation we had was:
me: all this hate for this female character makes me uncomfortable.
her: well, I hate her for those reasons, too, and so do the other mods, so we're not going to stop it.
me: I'll leave, then. Bye.
Meh. Wtfever. I'm not saying people can't have legitimate reasons for disliking Ziva or her characterization. I'm sure people do. I just don't think that most of these people would hate her nearly as much if Tiva stood for Tim/Ziva instead of Tony/Ziva.
It reminds me of the clusterfuck over in H50 fandom with everyone hating on Cath because she's 'Wonder Woman' or something. I can't really roll my eyes hard enough.
The same thing happened, to a lesser degree, in Lewis fandom. With people hating on Laura. Laura Hobson who was one of the loveliest ladies in any TV show ever.
And, no, before anyone says as much, it doesn't mean that I think people can't dislike female characters or dislike het pairings. I dislike plenty of het pairings and I dislike the way a fair amount of female characters are written. It's more about the why. Why people dislike it. It makes a difference. I disliked Lori on H50 and mostly because the writers gave her pisspoor development and made her main characteristic of having a pointless crush on an extremely disinterested Steve. I also dislike Steve/Cath because I think Steve treats Cath like shit and I want her to go on dates with someone who doesn't see her as an investigative short-cut. Because she's beautiful and fierce and awesome.
So, it's not that I think anyone saying they dislike these characters or pairings should stfu or anything, but if you're going to say 'oh, she's so annoying, I hope she dies in this car accident' I'm going to call foul.
I sorta wonder if fandom didn't used to feel as negative as it does now or if I just had better blinders on back then? Because I really miss when fandom was all about yay and squee and fun instead of being gross and hostile.
Anyone at all is welcome to picspam this post with happiness.
gibbs_dinozzo community today. It's been building for a while. I like the ship a lot, and I used to like reading the episode discussions. Lately, though, they're not episode discussions so much as one big, long moan about Ziva. Her crimes include being competent at her job, having a father/daughter relationship with Gibbs and talking to Tony. *rolls eyes*I'm not a fan of Tiva, but that's more due to my general disinterest in the way TV shows write m/f romances than anything about this pairing in particular.
Anyhow, I got tired of the rampant hatred in these episode discussions. It made me feel hesitant to offer my opinions at all. It all felt too hostile for me. I contacted one of the mods/owners/etc and said as much. In return, they basically delivered every thing that bothered me about the episode discussions into my very own PM box. Awesome.
Got a bit defensive when I said I thought a lot of people hated her for breaking up their OTP. Note, I never claimed she did that, however. She responded as if I had. Overidentifying much? Anyhow, the gist of the whole conversation we had was:
me: all this hate for this female character makes me uncomfortable.
her: well, I hate her for those reasons, too, and so do the other mods, so we're not going to stop it.
me: I'll leave, then. Bye.
Meh. Wtfever. I'm not saying people can't have legitimate reasons for disliking Ziva or her characterization. I'm sure people do. I just don't think that most of these people would hate her nearly as much if Tiva stood for Tim/Ziva instead of Tony/Ziva.
It reminds me of the clusterfuck over in H50 fandom with everyone hating on Cath because she's 'Wonder Woman' or something. I can't really roll my eyes hard enough.
The same thing happened, to a lesser degree, in Lewis fandom. With people hating on Laura. Laura Hobson who was one of the loveliest ladies in any TV show ever.
And, no, before anyone says as much, it doesn't mean that I think people can't dislike female characters or dislike het pairings. I dislike plenty of het pairings and I dislike the way a fair amount of female characters are written. It's more about the why. Why people dislike it. It makes a difference. I disliked Lori on H50 and mostly because the writers gave her pisspoor development and made her main characteristic of having a pointless crush on an extremely disinterested Steve. I also dislike Steve/Cath because I think Steve treats Cath like shit and I want her to go on dates with someone who doesn't see her as an investigative short-cut. Because she's beautiful and fierce and awesome.
So, it's not that I think anyone saying they dislike these characters or pairings should stfu or anything, but if you're going to say 'oh, she's so annoying, I hope she dies in this car accident' I'm going to call foul.
I sorta wonder if fandom didn't used to feel as negative as it does now or if I just had better blinders on back then? Because I really miss when fandom was all about yay and squee and fun instead of being gross and hostile.
Anyone at all is welcome to picspam this post with happiness.