Loveline Transcript
This is the first half hour of when Ville was on Loveline. Until I'm done completely with typing out the whole transcript, I won't be putting it up in the other communities yet. You guys are special. ... well you guys and the people on the message board. My wrists got tired of typing.
Loveline Transcript Feb 26, 2006 Pt. 1
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Dr.Drew: Hey everybody, this is loveline. The number is 800 LOVE 191, instudio with us is Ville Valo from the band HIM. Thank you for comingall the way from Finland to do this show, I appreciate it.
Ville Valo: A pleasure and a privilege.
D: I know something’s happening I could barely get into the studio tonight from the throng of fans just gathered outside.
V: They’re all paid assistants.
D: You paid them all to come?
V: Yea
D:Well, that’s still impressive, even if they didn’t come on their ownvolition because you made them come; it’s still an impressive crowd.
V: Ha-ha, well, you got to do something.
D:The CD is called Dark Light, this is their 5th CD and as I said, theyare from Finland, and Ville, as he just told me, means William, so I’msuppose to call him Bill if I don’t want to call him Ville.
V: And Valo means light, so I’d be William Light.
D: William Light. Nice… I’ll write that down. It doesn’t sound quiet as romantic as Ville Valo.
V: Oh, sorry.
D: Light, Bill Light. That’s disgusting.
V: Oh come on.
D: And you’re friends with Bam Margera and those guys, yes?
V: Yea, sure. We’ve been hanging out for a couple of years.
D: How did that happen?
V:Actually, Bam has always been a big fan of music in general so, healways buys a bunch of CDs wherever he travels and back in 2000 he flewover to Finland for some skate demo and he bought our album calledRazorblade Romance and fell in love with it and flew all the way fromPennsylvania to London to check us out. Played live out in England andthen we met. I thought that he was just a little tiny fellow who justwanted to get to our backstage writer (??) and destroy all our beer andall that, because that was around the time Jackass was happening hereand we didn’t know about it in Europe so I didn’t know he was like,“yea, I’m from MTV” and I was like, “What?” Then bit by bit we actuallybecame really good friends so I consider him to be a spiritual brotherof mine.
D: Oh, nice. And you’re about to start a European tour on March 2nd and then coming over here at some point?
V:We’re still negotiating all the little tiny details when it comes totouring but it seems that we’re going to be coming back in May andhopefully in the autumn, right before Halloween.
D: So all through the year perhaps, spring and fall?
V:Yea, most of it. We’re still a new band, well, new-comer over here.We’ve been together for more than 10 years in Europe but we got toremind people that we do exist and we want to shake a leg.
D: Well, it’s clearly moving over here.
V: Bit by Bit.
D:Bit by bit, it already kicked up momentum. There’s 2 pieces ofinformation they handed me here that are kind of interesting. One isthat you were arrested for threatening your neighbor?
V: Um…
D:I’ll tell you why it interested me. Somebody assaulted me last nightand I thought, “Am I going to have this guy arrested or am I just goingto let this thing pass?” I just let it go, whatever.
V: Nothing bad happened though.
D:No, no, but here was my choices, do nothing, go make a big deal out ofit, kick the guys-you know what I mean? It’s like, ugh, forget it.
V: You know, it’s also the case when it comes to… while I’m in America so it’s probably okay to talk about it legitimate-
D: What is the legal system like in Finland? Is it as pathetic as it is here?
V: Nah, its not- you can’t sue anyone for holding like a hot cup of coffee between their thighs or whatever.
D: You can sue for anything here, literally anything.
V:Oh, I got to be really careful especially on this show. [Laughs] No,but it was just a guy talking a lot of bull about me and my fiancé, andI just heard about that. He was claiming that we were junkies to peoplehe didn’t know. Helsinki is a small city where I live so-
D: How many people live there?
V:About, in the center, about half a million, so it’s tiny. If someonekeeps spreading bad words, everybody’s going to know sooner or later.And I got pissed off and I went to his door and I kicked the door down,not literally down, but I kicked the door and if he was ever to talkbadly about me and my girl, he’s going to end up being dead, and Ipunched him in the face. And that’s the whole thing. I’ve never doneanything like that since I was in school.
D: Did he say anything provocative to get you more riled up?
V: Nah, the situation was okay, everything’s going to be sorted out. I’m not going to be prosecuted.
D: Did the thing escalade because he started talking back to you?
V:Yea, not back to me at that moment. I was so pissed off because youdon’t that, especially in a little tiny building where we live, it’sjust 8 apartments or whatever, and it is in the better part of thecity. You don’t do that.
D: And he’s just been saying the repeatedly about you?
V:Yea, I’ve heard it through my friend’s mother in a dog park. He waslike, “yea, yea, Wille with his junkies and they behave so bad, andthey have parties every night,” I was like “Come on! Last year I was 9months away from home,” I was recording an album here in LA, so Ihaven’t even been home. So, it’s weird.
D: So I’m going to be taking you off this topic for a second-
V: So basically, I’m going to sue him for Slander.
D: Oh, okay, can you do that?
V: Yea, sure. I got witnessed to prove it so-
D: It’s going to be hard to prove he has intent to harm kind of thing.
V: Yea, well, I got witnesses, so it should be fine, we’ll see what happens.
D: Your English is so impeccable, and my understanding is Finnish is the hardest language there is.
V:Yea, one of them. It’s pronounced the same way as it is Latin, if youknow any Latin at all; it’s a bit like that. But the grammar is reallyhard.
D: You have the collections (??) of nouns…
V: It is very, very hard indeed. You want to learn some?
D: Sure.
V: What? What do you want to know?
D: I want eggs for breakfast.
V: [insert what he said here]
D:No, it just sounds like- Rick just played something backwards. [Villelaughs] Whatever it was, it’s like nothing that has been spoken before.
V: It sounds like [couldn’t make it out here] from Twin Pegs. (?)
D:Seriously, we’re going to have to get off the air for 20 minutes tojust get that one sentence in. Alright, so let’s take some calls, let’sdo that. This is, we have a ton of calls for you, almost no of theusual calls. Let’s start with Jennifer. Jennifer what’s up?
Caller #1: Hey, Ville, I love you.
V: Aww, that’s sweet. Thank you.
Caller#1: You’re so amazing, I can’t explain it. You’re beautiful, you musicis beautiful; your voice is awesome, especially on Bittersweet. That’sone of my favorite songs; I want that to be my wedding song when I getmarried.
V: Uh, I’m crossing my legs at this moment. Not to get too excited. Ha-ha
Caller #1: Also, on your myspace music page, do you actually read a lot of the posts?
V: Actually, I’m one of those guys that doesn’t have an internet connection back at home. So I believe in letters and doves.
Caller#1: Because I met this girl on there and her name is Jackie from LACounty, she wanted me to tell you that she loves you and wants to meetyou. I’d like to too, I’ve never have-
D: Well, keep an eye out for his US tour; I’m sure he’ll be up there in Northern California.
V: We’re going to be back in a second so…
#1: I want you to Sacramento.
V: Sacramento? I’ll put that on my list.
D: Alright, let’s go to Lisa. What’s up Lisa?
#2: Hey Ville, Hey Dr. Drew.
V: Hey Sweetie, what’s going on?
#2:Oh, not much. I actually saw you at the viper room with my sis and Iwas shaking my hips in the back by Bam. You guys are really great.
V:Thank you, it was a weird night. The PA broke down and I told the wholeaudience to have a cigarette break. There was like 100 people goingoutside for a smoke until when they fixed the whole thing.
D: Oh, Nice.
#2: Yea, it’s awesome how much you care about the sound and everything all the time at the shows.
V: Well, come on, we’re musicians.
#2: I know, exactly. I respect that.
D: What’s your question Lisa?
#2: My question was-
D:Just a second Lisa, Some of our callers, just enjoying, talkin’, justhangin’ they’re just enjoying… they’re just talking to Ville it’s thegreatest. [Ville Laughs]
V: It’s okay we got plenty of time anyways.
D: So what’s your question Lisa?
#2: I just wanted to know, why did you have May tattooed onto your chest?
V:May. Um, that’s a long story. Basically I’m a big fan of Sponge bobSquare pants, and the little tiny pet he has, Gary, the only this hesays is “meow,” and basically-
D: Except for one time, he spoke. It was kind of a dream and he had an accent kind of like yours.
V: Oh, I haven’t seen that one.
D: His voice sounded very much like yours.
V: Oh my God, Oh my God. I got to rename myself.
D: He was very learned and he had a lot of things to talk about like literature.
V:Excellent, but the thing is. It’s a long story. My fiancé love Gary andSponge bob as much as I do and because what he says sounds like, inFinnish, like mow, which doesn’t mean anything. I never heard it as“meow”, I always heard it as “nahow” which is “mow” is Finnish youwrite it like May but with two dots on top of a. And, for some reasonwhen people are in love, they tend to call each other with stupid namesand I tend to call her puss, mow, or Gary. So um, that’s the wholestory.
D: Does she speak English?
V: Yes, she does.
D: So the Gary and puss makes sense to her.
V: Most definitely.
D:But the mow thing is new to me. [Both Laugh] which I love, which becameMay. He’s another Jennifer. What’s up Jennifer? You’re on with Ville...Bill Light.
#3: That was pretty good. Hi, how are you guys?
V: Doing good, thank you very much. How about yourself?
#3:Good, I’m doing very well, thank you for the opportunity. Basically,it’s not necessarily a question; I just wanted to say in reference tosomething that was spoken about prior to the airing of this show. Dr.Drew couldn’t get his head wrapped around what your music was like, andfor me, it’s kind of like, why do we like the blues, you know? It kindof just makes you happy.
D: It’s unique.
#3: Yea, exactly.
V:it’s very cathartic. That’s the whole reason to cleanse your soul offof the bad things. When I’m feeling bad I put on Black Sabbath, and itmakes me happy.
#3: Exactly, it’s the same effect, and I justwant to say thank you. I’ve gone through a lot of changes the past fewyears and when I stumbled across your music I just absolutely flippedand was so thrilled and go glad that there were music out there thatjust really made a mark and made a statement and with intelligentlyrics and beautiful music and thank you, basically is what I wanted tosay.
V: I’m blushing here, thank you.
D: We’re going to switch gears here a little bit and get more towards the Loveline calls. This is Alia. Alia, what’s up?
#4:Hi Dr. Drew, first time caller, it took me forever to get through. Myboyfriend and I have been going out for about a year and a half now andwhen we first started going out he was really affectionate and as timehas worn on, he’s gotten… It’s not really distant so much as when we’rein public he doesn’t hand to hold my hand or if he does, he acts likeit’s a… chore?
D: How long have you guys been together?
V: A year and a half.
D: And how old is he?
#4: He’s 19.
D: Hmm, do you think this thing’s winding down a little bit?
#4: I don’t think its winding-we just got an apartment together… well, we already had an apartment together, we just moved.
V:Well, men are exactly (??) like that. If they start being reallyaffectionate and they really start easily take things for granted. I’mlike that.
D: When the volume and biology turns down like thatand the routine starts to settle in, the drive to touch is less. Mentend to want to wander, not necessarily wander away from therelationship, but just sort of do the guy thing, not want to feel quiteas touchy.
#4: This is going to sound weird, but when he getsreally drunk, he gets really emotional like, “you don’t understand howmuch I love you,” and he just doesn’t have a filter. He’s reallyaffectionate when he’s drunk or when it’s just us at home-
D: How often is he drunk?
#4: Not very.
D:Alright, well he doesn’t like Public Displays of Affection and now thathe’s sort of in the routine, he’s less driven to do so and well, thereyou go.
V: Kick him in the balls and give him a vodka IV. It should be good.
D: It’s Ville’s solution for most things, a kick in the nuts and an IV of vodka, just the same. Hey Trevor, what’s up buddy?
#5: Hey Dr. Drew, how you doing?
D: Good.
#5:Good. Listen, I’ve come to the realization that I’ve been an alcoholicbecause alcoholism is in my family. It took me a long time to getsober; I’ve been sober for like 7 months. The rumor around differentprograms and stuff like that is that alcoholics are physiologicallydifferent that normal people.
D: Yea, completely, geneticallydifferent. In fact, there is going to be an over the counter genetictest available in about two months. Just talked to a doctor at UCLAthat worked on this called [????] it can tell you if you have one ofthe major genes responsible for this disease. There’s a series of genesthat have been associated with this, basically, it is a brain disorderor brain disposition that predisposes to be very attracted to thrilland to have a great intolerance of anxiety and intolerance of lack ofstimulation and to be rather sensitive. There’s all kinds of differentfeatures to this and one of the things that happen is if you happen tohave this kind of brain, if you cross a certain threshold with alcoholor substances is your drive systems become altered in such a way thatall the motivational systems of the brain become focused on the pursuitof the drug. So things like reproduction, work, your family and friendand all that become far less important than gratifying that drive.
#5: So how would I find out for sure, if that was the case, if I don’t have that gene or whatever?
D:Trevor, listen, here is the definition. Family history, which you havegiven us that, on-going use in the face of adverse consequence, whichI’m sure you have that story, and denial, which is what you’restruggling with right now. So there you go. That’s the disease, and Ican predict with very high accuracy that you have the gene based onthat. If you want to look for that test when it comes out in a coupleof months, you’re welcome to do so.
#5: Just curious, youknow. But it is like process and I don’t think that it’s something thatI have gotten through at all even in the last few months…
D:Yea, you really have to capitulate to this thing and if you haven’tcapitulated you may not be ready and you may have to test it again onyour own. Rachel, what’s up?
#6: Hi, I just have a quick question. I’m in a relationship with a guy that’s in a band that tours.
D:Well, funny you should say that, we got Ville Valo, lead singer of HIMin here, and they tour all over the world. Did your girlfriend go withyou?
V: Nah.
D: So this is basically an excuse, Rachel, to give us a call?
#6: No, actually, I’m really curious on how he keeps his relationship going while he’s on tour.
V: Um, It is hard. It’s been hard because-
D: How long have you been with this girlfriend?
V: I’ve known her for about 6 years, we’ve been officially together for 2 and a half, we’ve been living together for that.
D: And you’ve been together for 10 years, touring?
V:Well, I started playing music when I was 7 years old. I’m 29 so;actually, my first gig was when I was 13. So I’ve been touring around.
D:What I’m getting at though is that you’ve had many years of touringunattached, and it really was disgusting yourself with that finallymotivated you to maybe- I hear a lot of guys out on the road they go,“oh, I’ve had enough of this crap, I’m going to get a girlfriend,” andit’s not so tempting anymore to go a-stray because they’ve had enough.
V:Nah, actually, no, because I was a late bloomer anyway so, hold on.I’ve never slept with a girl on tour, besides my girlfriend and the onebefore so no. When I was single, we didn’t. I started playing music soyoung that I didn’t have the interest for girls. I was into Sabbath andI felt ecstatic when I was able to play music in front and audience andthat’s what drove me. I didn’t start music because of the money, orgirls, or fast cars or the LA dream of the 80’s motley crue type ofthing, it never interested me. It is very hard, but I get to see hermaybe, once a month.
D: Do we need to know what motivates Rachel’s boyfriend? Why is he in a band?
#6: Well, actually, He’s in an up-and-coming band; he’s doing very well actually…
D:Rachel, you didn’t answer my question. Why is he in a band? Ville’s ina band because he loves music and loves performing. Why is yourboyfriend in a band?
#6: It’s his passion, definitely.
D: Just the performing? The lifestyle issues isn’t distracting to him, it’s just the performing?
#6: Correct, it’s just about the music.
V: That’s good, that’s good.
D: Then it’s not so hard to maintain the relationship, I would imagine. So the distance thing is hard.
V:Yea, it is a pain, it is a pain. It’s easier if he’s just touring theStates. I’m front this distant country called Finland and we’re touringall around the world, like now we’re going to Australia and Japan andstuff like that, places where the time difference is more than 10 hoursand it’s not as easy to be in contact even with via phone. It’s a pain,but it’s also a sweet feeling of longing that you know there’s somebodywaiting for you at home and my girl she’s doing stuff for MTV inScandinavia, being a VJ and she knows about traveling, so she knows abit about what I’m going through as well so that makes it easier.
D: Who’s having the problem here Rachel, you or the boyfriend?
#6: It’s a little bit of both, mainly me just because I’ve never had to do a long distance relationship before so.
D: How long is he gone at a time?
#6:Usually 2 or 3 months. It’s hard because I’m going to school here inBoston and he lives out in California even then when I’m having a breakit’s difficult for him to see me when I’m home.
D: Where do you go to school?
#6: At B.U.
D:I, in general, rule of thumb, I’m not telling you what to do here, ruleof thumb. I don’t think it’s a good idea for college students to havelong distance relationships. College is really an opportunity to beginwith a new community and explore who you are and establish a sense ofyourself and an identity in a new peer group. B.U. is a good sizedschool, Boston is a huge town, there’s a lot you’re going to miss byhaving yourself emotionally tied up to someone who’s 3000 miles awayand is a moving target, oh, and by the way, maybe having troublehimself maintaining celibacy or whatever you guys have agreed to. So,in general, it’s just a rough idea to do this, and if you love eachother and you want to do it, enjoy, but boy, at 19, these kinds ofrelationships don’t last anyway.
#6: Yea, that’s true.
D: Yea, so, what are you studying?
#6: I’m actually going to be into the entertainment business.
D: Law?
#6: No, just booking or managing something like that.
D: Interesting.
V: So, you’re going to be traveling a lot as well.
D: You’ll get to Los Angelus in no time. Alright, thanks Rachel, thanks for your call.
#6: Thank you.
D: We’re going to take a break right now. When we return, we’re going to hear a song from HIM.
V: Oh, wow.
D:And we got Ville Valo here, and I want to hear more about your familyof origin, and the interesting place that your dad worked I heardabout.
V: I worked there as well.
D: Say no more; the phone number is 1800 LOVE 191, we’ll be right back.
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Loveline Transcript Feb 26, 2006 Pt. 2
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Dr.Drew: You’re on Loveline with HIM, Ville Valo, or Bill Light as I liketo call him. We’re going to hear a song called Wings of a Butterfly injust a second. We’re going to hear a phone call first from Nicky. HeyNicky, you’re on with Ville. Is it Vill-lay or Vill-uh?
Ville: Vill-eh.
D: So it’s towards uh.
V: uh. …Whatever.
D: Go ahead Nicky, sorry.
#7: Is it alright to date someone that your dad hates even though he’s a whole lot older than you?
D: How old is this guy?
#7: He’s 20.
D: How old are you?
#7: 16.
D:Whether your dad hates him or not, not okay. Okay? No it’s not okay.Because when you’re 20, you will look at 20 year old peers, male, andif you see one of them dating a 16 year old you will wretch. You willthink, “This guy should be put in jail” which is in fact the case inthe United States.
[Silence]
D: Nicky, you there?
#7: So it will not be okay.
D: Oh, no, I take it all back, it’s just fine. Do what you want. Can you not hear us?
#7: Yea, I can.
D: What did I just say?
#7: That it would be okay. [Giggle]
D: No.
V: No, no, no. Let’s say that you’re doing better than Jerry Lee Lewis, but still, it’s not okay.
D: A 20 year old with a 16 year old is not okay whether your dad likes it or not. Did you understand that?
#7: Yea.
D:Okay, and what I said was, when you’re 20 and when you think about your20 year old male friends dating a 16 year old, you will vomit, becausea 20 year old is in a different place than a 16 year old. I know rightnow it’s exciting and satisfying, sort of um, gratifying… what’s theword I’m looking for-
V: Thrilling.
D: Validating, Thrilling, this is not a good guy. Okay?
#7: Yea.
D: Probably, that’s why your dad hates him. He has your best interest at heart. Why does your dad hate him?
#7: Because he works with him, and he thinks he ain’t going to go nowhere.
D:Right, and therefore he wouldn’t want you to be stuck with a loser likethat, a Criminal loser, by the way. A 20 year old wants to date a 16year old.
#7: He’s not a criminal or anything.
D: He is. He’s dating a 16 year old.
[Silence]
D:Right? Those laws are there for a reason. They’re there to protect theyoung person; from exploitation by these guys that look so alluring tothe 16 year old but are the 20 year olds that look like total ‘effinglosers. So, let him date other 20 year old or 19 year old, that’s fine;people his own age, and leave you alone. Your dad is so right on, theGod he’s speaking up about it. Let’s hear a song. What does HIM standfor?
V: [Sighs] We started out as a Black Sabbath tribute band.The based their name off a horror movie, so we wanted an horrific namewhich we definitely invented by calling ourselves His Infernal Majesty.And a lot of people thought that we had something to do with Satan.
D: That’s very dungeon and dragons.
V: Well, exactly, but that wasn’t the case. A lot of religious people thought that we had some malicious intent-
D: Putting the Pentagram on your album didn’t help things [Laughs]
V: Well, it’s called a Heartagram.
D:Oh, that’s right, that’s what you’re famous for; it’s the ying and yangthing. [Lots of things happening at once here] I heard they’re oneverything.
V: Nearly, nearly. A long name; a stupid name, pseudo-satanic and shortened it up.
D: So it’s making fun of all that stuff.
V: I grew up listening to Ozzy Osborne, Iron Maiden-
D: Have you met Ozzy since uh…
V: I have actually. He was quite the gentleman.
D: Ozzy and Sharon have been up here many times.
V: I’m such a fan myself.
D:Jack sure has been great too. He’s been up here recently and Ozzy andSharon were here within their first week of filming. They broughtcameras in here and were like, “you know, we just go this crazy thingfollowing us around and we don’t know what to make of it all.” That wasbefore anything went to air so, there we were. Let’s hear Wings of aButterfly. You go ahead, send us out.
V: Yea, so, the band iscalled HIM from Finland, and this song is going to change your lifehopefully its called “Rip Out the Wings of a Butterfly.”
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D:That was Wings of a Butterfly, Ville Valo in here tonight. I can tellhe’s popular because no one can call loveline with anything other thancalls about HIM. They’re jamming the phone-lines. Here’s Brittney.
#8: Hey, um sorry. The lyrics are great and everything. But I was wondering if you had any advice about writing lyrics?
V:Writing lyrics? I think just keep reading as much as possible andexplain your soul on paper, for me it’s like writing a diary.
D: Is there any particular literature you’re interested in?
V: Everything.
D: Ancient literature or…?
V: Everything.
D: Everything.
V:Everything. I got a tattoo of Charles Baudelaire on my arm so I do abit of poetry, but I do everything, contemporary, everything,everything’s good.
D: Do you read in English? Do you read in Finnish?
V: Only in English, usually.
D: You read in English?
V: Yea, because that helps with language, I wasn’t brought up in a family that speaks English so…
D: Where did you get the English?
V:By traveling a lot. Meeting people, and I do consider English languagebeing like, music as well. It’s about the tonality of it and thank godI was brought up in a country that never dubbed anything on TV, sothere were always subtitles.
D: You don’t have an English accent though.
V: Yea, well... yea, I don’t know.
D: You never had formal schooling in English?
V:Bits and pieces, but it’s very formal, it’s very level 1 so to speak.Grammar, bits and pieces of words to know what an apple is and that’sabout it.
D: That’s crazy, your English is impeccable.
V: Working on it. Thank you sir, thank you sir, I consider it to be a beautiful language-
D: English? Most people are sort of disdainful of English.
V: No, I think that English has been raped with the bad use of it.
D: Americans?
V:No, I’m not saying that. I’m saying everybody in the world like baddialogues in movies that effect people. I think that’s it a veryfruitful language if you know how to use it well. My father, inFinnish, has always been a verbal acrobat and I love the impact you canhave when you a language right. It’s a very interesting thing that’s mymain hobby, besides music; English.
D: Is there any stand-out authors for you?
V: Not really.
D: You said a Frenchman, you said Baudelaire…
V: Edgar Allen Poe is one of my favorites; I love that kind of stuff.
D: Very loyal to Americans…
V: Stuff like that. I consider it to be really, really interesting but as I said, I read everything.
[Huh? In the background]
D: Huh? Who is Edgar Allen Poe, Are you serious? Seriously?
Producer guy: There’s another thing the audience probably has no idea what you’re guys are talking about.
V: Oh, well, okay. We’ll continue talking back to Britney.
D: Poe’s a famous poet, author, from…
Producer guy: Well, I think they’d know that, The Simpsons did an episode of that.
D: Right… he wrote a famous poem called the Raven.
Producer Guy: As far as Bill’s tattoo, I think some of the kids heads exploded.
V:Oh, well. Charles Baudelaire, he’s a French fellow who wrote TheFlowers of Evil, which everybody should read, especially anybody thathas been young and bored of their life and thinking about dark thingsand thinking about what they’re going to do next. It’s very lifeassuring collection of poems.
D: Baudelaire you’re talking about?
V: Baudelaire, yea.
D: He wrote in 18th century.
V: 18… …yea.
D: Lets get some calls going here. This is Katherine. Katherine you’re on with Ville Valo from HIM.
#9: Hi! How are you guys today?
D: Hey!
V: [uber deep voice] Hello there.
D: Cheers mate. What’s happening?
#9: Um, I was sexually abused as a kid.
V: Oh.
D: She said gleefully.
#9:What? He-he, its better to keep an optimistic attitude about it than toact like it’s horrible. When you’re in a relationship, how do you tellsomeone about that without worrying about judgment? I’ve asked 100people about this, and no one can ever tell me.
D: Well, Isuspect most guys that would attracted to you, as someone who’s beenabused, would already have been in a bent, in other words a type of guywho likes rescuing.
#9: Oh jeez.
D: Am I right?
#9: I suppose.
D: You probably get one of two guys. You get a bad guy that you’re attracted to or a rescuing guy who’s attracted to you.
#9: Yea, I tend to find the people who are exactly like the person that-
D: Abused you.
#9: Right.
D: So what are you doing about that?
#9: Yea, well I’ve had fair [??] and the rest of it and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
D: Did the attractions change, or were you able to read or contain those attractions?
#9: I just kind of stopped allowing myself to be attracted to anyone.
D: Oh, okay. Are you still doing therapy?
#9: Yea, when I feel like it.
D:So, many one of the things you can do is maybe go around with guys thatyou’re not so very attracted to because those guys are less likely tobe the abusive types. The ones that are attracted to you are sense thatyou are injured inner-core are going to be the guys that are intorescuing and the guys that are into rescuing are going to sort of betantalized by the abuse thing… not in a sexual way in a sense thatthey’ll feel like, “oh it’s okay, I’ll be here for you,” or somethingor, “I’ll rescue you,” guys get into that
V: I think thatthere’s something in between as well. To be brutally, brutally honestwith you, I have been in a relationship where a lady has been sexuallyabused as a kid and I think that sharing and talking is the best thing.You know it doesn’t-
#9: Were you judgmental? I’m assuming you weren’t.
D: Have you found guys to be judgmental? I’m sort of surprised that you’re so focused on it.
#9: I found people who, just don’t want to talk about it.
D:Yea, the narcissistic a-holes that are like the guys that abused you,who might be exposed to shame or something if they found out if youwere actually injured and they were actually exploiting you, theywouldn’t like that. So you know, they’re not really empathically intuned to you, they don’t want to talk about it, they don’t want to hearabout it. And I figure they’re not really judging you, they just don’twant to hear about it.
#9: That’s true, that’s true.
D: And I’d be surprised of you found people who were like, “oh my god, you’ve been tainted!”
#9: I’m not saying they’d hate my guts forever, but you know…
D: But you’re just saying they’d be judgmental…
#9: I think I might’ve just used the wrong word.
D: Or they would feel as though you’ve been “tainted” in some way.
#9: Yea, that’s more of what I’m thinking along the line.
V:Everybody’s tainted in some way. I think its just-keep your mind open.Don’t, yourself, be judgment when it comes to men because you’re goingto be in that little tiny dark room for the rest of your life.
D:And she’s doing what she needs to do. She’s getting treatment, she’snot following her impulses, She doesn’t trust her attractions…
V: And she’s calling here and talking about it…
D: And mood wise she sounds pretty happy there. Kelly, what’s up there?
#10: Oh, is it me?
D: Yea, it’s you
#10: Oh cool, super. Hi Ville!
V: Hello there sweetie.
#10:I’m a huge fan, I just want to get this out right away, because I wentthrough a lot of crap in my life and your music is just taking me outof a dark place and now everything fine. My question is I’m goingthrough a divorce right now and it’s my second and I have a child withthis person and he’ll be 3 in May. One of the things is, I don’t knowif maybe it’s worth saving because of the child. I know there’s a lotof issues that need to be explained about it and as far as I know, it’sonly a couple hours show and I really don’t want to get into it, but sit always worth trying to work it out when there’s a child involved.
D:Yes, it is always worth trying unless there’s overt abuse going on,because Kelly, here’s the deal, you failed twice, you’re going to failagain. You’re going to find some other problems with some other guys.Why not try to work this one through?
#10: He’s like an 8 year old boy trapped in a 33 year old man’s body.
V: Aren’t we all?
D: Sounds like most 33 year old males.
#10:It’s really hard to explain. He’s really horrible with money; I had tosell most of my personal belongings jus to put food on the tablebecause he just doesn’t care.
D: How about you go to atherapist, you agree upon some ground rules, he goes into some sort ofa structured program with his money because it’s his issue, and heget’s a budget. You do all these things and you try to work it all out.If it’s impossible, maybe he can go to debtors anonymous or somethinglike that, if it’s impossible, doesn’t work, then fine.
#10:He won’t agree to counseling, I’ve already tried. It’s been a year andI’m trying to think of a positive role model for my son.
V: Ifyour son has a daddy like that, I think he’s being a terrible rolemodel already. So, at the end of the day... you can’t stretch it.
D:Not only that, that is going to be his dad for the rest of his life.He’s always going to be that role model, helping him change my be amore fruitful way of creating a better role model for your son thanbringing in another guy he doesn’t really like and who know what thehell does down with that relationship.
V: The internal optimist you are.
D: I just know people.
#10: Part of me doesn’t want to be divorced twice…
D: Kelly, I think you should make a go of it, but the fact that he is not willing is very distressing
#10:We’re separated and all and he told me, “now that you’re leaving, itfeels like there’s burden being lifted off my shoulders,” and he’s justbeing really hurtful.
V: Well, just kick him in the balls and a vodka IV.
D: Nut-sack and a direct hit with the heel and then vodka IV. That’s the Ville method.
#10: he has another child with another woman also I think it’s some sort of pattern for him.
D:I don’t know how many times he has to do this for it to become apattern but be that as it may, but the pattern here is that you picknot such great guys and that’s the worst thing I can say about thisbecause that damns for you doing this again but the best thing I cansay about this is you had a role to have played in this too somehow youcontributed to all this even if it was by not setting limits.
#10: Stupidity and being alone…
D:Whatever, maybe you should go get some therapy and maybe changesomething that’s going on with you or look at it very carefully. Atleast if he wont go, you can work on yourself and make some reallyclear decisions and maybe make some plans to change the future. Thatwould be good for your son for sure. Ville Valo here from HIM, we’regoing to hear some more music from him, we haven’t picked a song yetbut…
V: ooh, applause, nice.
D: His dad owns a porn shop! We’re going to hear about it, we’ll be right back.
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Loveline Transcript Feb 26, 2006 Pt. 1
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Dr.Drew: Hey everybody, this is loveline. The number is 800 LOVE 191, instudio with us is Ville Valo from the band HIM. Thank you for comingall the way from Finland to do this show, I appreciate it.
Ville Valo: A pleasure and a privilege.
D: I know something’s happening I could barely get into the studio tonight from the throng of fans just gathered outside.
V: They’re all paid assistants.
D: You paid them all to come?
V: Yea
D:Well, that’s still impressive, even if they didn’t come on their ownvolition because you made them come; it’s still an impressive crowd.
V: Ha-ha, well, you got to do something.
D:The CD is called Dark Light, this is their 5th CD and as I said, theyare from Finland, and Ville, as he just told me, means William, so I’msuppose to call him Bill if I don’t want to call him Ville.
V: And Valo means light, so I’d be William Light.
D: William Light. Nice… I’ll write that down. It doesn’t sound quiet as romantic as Ville Valo.
V: Oh, sorry.
D: Light, Bill Light. That’s disgusting.
V: Oh come on.
D: And you’re friends with Bam Margera and those guys, yes?
V: Yea, sure. We’ve been hanging out for a couple of years.
D: How did that happen?
V:Actually, Bam has always been a big fan of music in general so, healways buys a bunch of CDs wherever he travels and back in 2000 he flewover to Finland for some skate demo and he bought our album calledRazorblade Romance and fell in love with it and flew all the way fromPennsylvania to London to check us out. Played live out in England andthen we met. I thought that he was just a little tiny fellow who justwanted to get to our backstage writer (??) and destroy all our beer andall that, because that was around the time Jackass was happening hereand we didn’t know about it in Europe so I didn’t know he was like,“yea, I’m from MTV” and I was like, “What?” Then bit by bit we actuallybecame really good friends so I consider him to be a spiritual brotherof mine.
D: Oh, nice. And you’re about to start a European tour on March 2nd and then coming over here at some point?
V:We’re still negotiating all the little tiny details when it comes totouring but it seems that we’re going to be coming back in May andhopefully in the autumn, right before Halloween.
D: So all through the year perhaps, spring and fall?
V:Yea, most of it. We’re still a new band, well, new-comer over here.We’ve been together for more than 10 years in Europe but we got toremind people that we do exist and we want to shake a leg.
D: Well, it’s clearly moving over here.
V: Bit by Bit.
D:Bit by bit, it already kicked up momentum. There’s 2 pieces ofinformation they handed me here that are kind of interesting. One isthat you were arrested for threatening your neighbor?
V: Um…
D:I’ll tell you why it interested me. Somebody assaulted me last nightand I thought, “Am I going to have this guy arrested or am I just goingto let this thing pass?” I just let it go, whatever.
V: Nothing bad happened though.
D:No, no, but here was my choices, do nothing, go make a big deal out ofit, kick the guys-you know what I mean? It’s like, ugh, forget it.
V: You know, it’s also the case when it comes to… while I’m in America so it’s probably okay to talk about it legitimate-
D: What is the legal system like in Finland? Is it as pathetic as it is here?
V: Nah, its not- you can’t sue anyone for holding like a hot cup of coffee between their thighs or whatever.
D: You can sue for anything here, literally anything.
V:Oh, I got to be really careful especially on this show. [Laughs] No,but it was just a guy talking a lot of bull about me and my fiancé, andI just heard about that. He was claiming that we were junkies to peoplehe didn’t know. Helsinki is a small city where I live so-
D: How many people live there?
V:About, in the center, about half a million, so it’s tiny. If someonekeeps spreading bad words, everybody’s going to know sooner or later.And I got pissed off and I went to his door and I kicked the door down,not literally down, but I kicked the door and if he was ever to talkbadly about me and my girl, he’s going to end up being dead, and Ipunched him in the face. And that’s the whole thing. I’ve never doneanything like that since I was in school.
D: Did he say anything provocative to get you more riled up?
V: Nah, the situation was okay, everything’s going to be sorted out. I’m not going to be prosecuted.
D: Did the thing escalade because he started talking back to you?
V:Yea, not back to me at that moment. I was so pissed off because youdon’t that, especially in a little tiny building where we live, it’sjust 8 apartments or whatever, and it is in the better part of thecity. You don’t do that.
D: And he’s just been saying the repeatedly about you?
V:Yea, I’ve heard it through my friend’s mother in a dog park. He waslike, “yea, yea, Wille with his junkies and they behave so bad, andthey have parties every night,” I was like “Come on! Last year I was 9months away from home,” I was recording an album here in LA, so Ihaven’t even been home. So, it’s weird.
D: So I’m going to be taking you off this topic for a second-
V: So basically, I’m going to sue him for Slander.
D: Oh, okay, can you do that?
V: Yea, sure. I got witnessed to prove it so-
D: It’s going to be hard to prove he has intent to harm kind of thing.
V: Yea, well, I got witnesses, so it should be fine, we’ll see what happens.
D: Your English is so impeccable, and my understanding is Finnish is the hardest language there is.
V:Yea, one of them. It’s pronounced the same way as it is Latin, if youknow any Latin at all; it’s a bit like that. But the grammar is reallyhard.
D: You have the collections (??) of nouns…
V: It is very, very hard indeed. You want to learn some?
D: Sure.
V: What? What do you want to know?
D: I want eggs for breakfast.
V: [insert what he said here]
D:No, it just sounds like- Rick just played something backwards. [Villelaughs] Whatever it was, it’s like nothing that has been spoken before.
V: It sounds like [couldn’t make it out here] from Twin Pegs. (?)
D:Seriously, we’re going to have to get off the air for 20 minutes tojust get that one sentence in. Alright, so let’s take some calls, let’sdo that. This is, we have a ton of calls for you, almost no of theusual calls. Let’s start with Jennifer. Jennifer what’s up?
Caller #1: Hey, Ville, I love you.
V: Aww, that’s sweet. Thank you.
Caller#1: You’re so amazing, I can’t explain it. You’re beautiful, you musicis beautiful; your voice is awesome, especially on Bittersweet. That’sone of my favorite songs; I want that to be my wedding song when I getmarried.
V: Uh, I’m crossing my legs at this moment. Not to get too excited. Ha-ha
Caller #1: Also, on your myspace music page, do you actually read a lot of the posts?
V: Actually, I’m one of those guys that doesn’t have an internet connection back at home. So I believe in letters and doves.
Caller#1: Because I met this girl on there and her name is Jackie from LACounty, she wanted me to tell you that she loves you and wants to meetyou. I’d like to too, I’ve never have-
D: Well, keep an eye out for his US tour; I’m sure he’ll be up there in Northern California.
V: We’re going to be back in a second so…
#1: I want you to Sacramento.
V: Sacramento? I’ll put that on my list.
D: Alright, let’s go to Lisa. What’s up Lisa?
#2: Hey Ville, Hey Dr. Drew.
V: Hey Sweetie, what’s going on?
#2:Oh, not much. I actually saw you at the viper room with my sis and Iwas shaking my hips in the back by Bam. You guys are really great.
V:Thank you, it was a weird night. The PA broke down and I told the wholeaudience to have a cigarette break. There was like 100 people goingoutside for a smoke until when they fixed the whole thing.
D: Oh, Nice.
#2: Yea, it’s awesome how much you care about the sound and everything all the time at the shows.
V: Well, come on, we’re musicians.
#2: I know, exactly. I respect that.
D: What’s your question Lisa?
#2: My question was-
D:Just a second Lisa, Some of our callers, just enjoying, talkin’, justhangin’ they’re just enjoying… they’re just talking to Ville it’s thegreatest. [Ville Laughs]
V: It’s okay we got plenty of time anyways.
D: So what’s your question Lisa?
#2: I just wanted to know, why did you have May tattooed onto your chest?
V:May. Um, that’s a long story. Basically I’m a big fan of Sponge bobSquare pants, and the little tiny pet he has, Gary, the only this hesays is “meow,” and basically-
D: Except for one time, he spoke. It was kind of a dream and he had an accent kind of like yours.
V: Oh, I haven’t seen that one.
D: His voice sounded very much like yours.
V: Oh my God, Oh my God. I got to rename myself.
D: He was very learned and he had a lot of things to talk about like literature.
V:Excellent, but the thing is. It’s a long story. My fiancé love Gary andSponge bob as much as I do and because what he says sounds like, inFinnish, like mow, which doesn’t mean anything. I never heard it as“meow”, I always heard it as “nahow” which is “mow” is Finnish youwrite it like May but with two dots on top of a. And, for some reasonwhen people are in love, they tend to call each other with stupid namesand I tend to call her puss, mow, or Gary. So um, that’s the wholestory.
D: Does she speak English?
V: Yes, she does.
D: So the Gary and puss makes sense to her.
V: Most definitely.
D:But the mow thing is new to me. [Both Laugh] which I love, which becameMay. He’s another Jennifer. What’s up Jennifer? You’re on with Ville...Bill Light.
#3: That was pretty good. Hi, how are you guys?
V: Doing good, thank you very much. How about yourself?
#3:Good, I’m doing very well, thank you for the opportunity. Basically,it’s not necessarily a question; I just wanted to say in reference tosomething that was spoken about prior to the airing of this show. Dr.Drew couldn’t get his head wrapped around what your music was like, andfor me, it’s kind of like, why do we like the blues, you know? It kindof just makes you happy.
D: It’s unique.
#3: Yea, exactly.
V:it’s very cathartic. That’s the whole reason to cleanse your soul offof the bad things. When I’m feeling bad I put on Black Sabbath, and itmakes me happy.
#3: Exactly, it’s the same effect, and I justwant to say thank you. I’ve gone through a lot of changes the past fewyears and when I stumbled across your music I just absolutely flippedand was so thrilled and go glad that there were music out there thatjust really made a mark and made a statement and with intelligentlyrics and beautiful music and thank you, basically is what I wanted tosay.
V: I’m blushing here, thank you.
D: We’re going to switch gears here a little bit and get more towards the Loveline calls. This is Alia. Alia, what’s up?
#4:Hi Dr. Drew, first time caller, it took me forever to get through. Myboyfriend and I have been going out for about a year and a half now andwhen we first started going out he was really affectionate and as timehas worn on, he’s gotten… It’s not really distant so much as when we’rein public he doesn’t hand to hold my hand or if he does, he acts likeit’s a… chore?
D: How long have you guys been together?
V: A year and a half.
D: And how old is he?
#4: He’s 19.
D: Hmm, do you think this thing’s winding down a little bit?
#4: I don’t think its winding-we just got an apartment together… well, we already had an apartment together, we just moved.
V:Well, men are exactly (??) like that. If they start being reallyaffectionate and they really start easily take things for granted. I’mlike that.
D: When the volume and biology turns down like thatand the routine starts to settle in, the drive to touch is less. Mentend to want to wander, not necessarily wander away from therelationship, but just sort of do the guy thing, not want to feel quiteas touchy.
#4: This is going to sound weird, but when he getsreally drunk, he gets really emotional like, “you don’t understand howmuch I love you,” and he just doesn’t have a filter. He’s reallyaffectionate when he’s drunk or when it’s just us at home-
D: How often is he drunk?
#4: Not very.
D:Alright, well he doesn’t like Public Displays of Affection and now thathe’s sort of in the routine, he’s less driven to do so and well, thereyou go.
V: Kick him in the balls and give him a vodka IV. It should be good.
D: It’s Ville’s solution for most things, a kick in the nuts and an IV of vodka, just the same. Hey Trevor, what’s up buddy?
#5: Hey Dr. Drew, how you doing?
D: Good.
#5:Good. Listen, I’ve come to the realization that I’ve been an alcoholicbecause alcoholism is in my family. It took me a long time to getsober; I’ve been sober for like 7 months. The rumor around differentprograms and stuff like that is that alcoholics are physiologicallydifferent that normal people.
D: Yea, completely, geneticallydifferent. In fact, there is going to be an over the counter genetictest available in about two months. Just talked to a doctor at UCLAthat worked on this called [????] it can tell you if you have one ofthe major genes responsible for this disease. There’s a series of genesthat have been associated with this, basically, it is a brain disorderor brain disposition that predisposes to be very attracted to thrilland to have a great intolerance of anxiety and intolerance of lack ofstimulation and to be rather sensitive. There’s all kinds of differentfeatures to this and one of the things that happen is if you happen tohave this kind of brain, if you cross a certain threshold with alcoholor substances is your drive systems become altered in such a way thatall the motivational systems of the brain become focused on the pursuitof the drug. So things like reproduction, work, your family and friendand all that become far less important than gratifying that drive.
#5: So how would I find out for sure, if that was the case, if I don’t have that gene or whatever?
D:Trevor, listen, here is the definition. Family history, which you havegiven us that, on-going use in the face of adverse consequence, whichI’m sure you have that story, and denial, which is what you’restruggling with right now. So there you go. That’s the disease, and Ican predict with very high accuracy that you have the gene based onthat. If you want to look for that test when it comes out in a coupleof months, you’re welcome to do so.
#5: Just curious, youknow. But it is like process and I don’t think that it’s something thatI have gotten through at all even in the last few months…
D:Yea, you really have to capitulate to this thing and if you haven’tcapitulated you may not be ready and you may have to test it again onyour own. Rachel, what’s up?
#6: Hi, I just have a quick question. I’m in a relationship with a guy that’s in a band that tours.
D:Well, funny you should say that, we got Ville Valo, lead singer of HIMin here, and they tour all over the world. Did your girlfriend go withyou?
V: Nah.
D: So this is basically an excuse, Rachel, to give us a call?
#6: No, actually, I’m really curious on how he keeps his relationship going while he’s on tour.
V: Um, It is hard. It’s been hard because-
D: How long have you been with this girlfriend?
V: I’ve known her for about 6 years, we’ve been officially together for 2 and a half, we’ve been living together for that.
D: And you’ve been together for 10 years, touring?
V:Well, I started playing music when I was 7 years old. I’m 29 so;actually, my first gig was when I was 13. So I’ve been touring around.
D:What I’m getting at though is that you’ve had many years of touringunattached, and it really was disgusting yourself with that finallymotivated you to maybe- I hear a lot of guys out on the road they go,“oh, I’ve had enough of this crap, I’m going to get a girlfriend,” andit’s not so tempting anymore to go a-stray because they’ve had enough.
V:Nah, actually, no, because I was a late bloomer anyway so, hold on.I’ve never slept with a girl on tour, besides my girlfriend and the onebefore so no. When I was single, we didn’t. I started playing music soyoung that I didn’t have the interest for girls. I was into Sabbath andI felt ecstatic when I was able to play music in front and audience andthat’s what drove me. I didn’t start music because of the money, orgirls, or fast cars or the LA dream of the 80’s motley crue type ofthing, it never interested me. It is very hard, but I get to see hermaybe, once a month.
D: Do we need to know what motivates Rachel’s boyfriend? Why is he in a band?
#6: Well, actually, He’s in an up-and-coming band; he’s doing very well actually…
D:Rachel, you didn’t answer my question. Why is he in a band? Ville’s ina band because he loves music and loves performing. Why is yourboyfriend in a band?
#6: It’s his passion, definitely.
D: Just the performing? The lifestyle issues isn’t distracting to him, it’s just the performing?
#6: Correct, it’s just about the music.
V: That’s good, that’s good.
D: Then it’s not so hard to maintain the relationship, I would imagine. So the distance thing is hard.
V:Yea, it is a pain, it is a pain. It’s easier if he’s just touring theStates. I’m front this distant country called Finland and we’re touringall around the world, like now we’re going to Australia and Japan andstuff like that, places where the time difference is more than 10 hoursand it’s not as easy to be in contact even with via phone. It’s a pain,but it’s also a sweet feeling of longing that you know there’s somebodywaiting for you at home and my girl she’s doing stuff for MTV inScandinavia, being a VJ and she knows about traveling, so she knows abit about what I’m going through as well so that makes it easier.
D: Who’s having the problem here Rachel, you or the boyfriend?
#6: It’s a little bit of both, mainly me just because I’ve never had to do a long distance relationship before so.
D: How long is he gone at a time?
#6:Usually 2 or 3 months. It’s hard because I’m going to school here inBoston and he lives out in California even then when I’m having a breakit’s difficult for him to see me when I’m home.
D: Where do you go to school?
#6: At B.U.
D:I, in general, rule of thumb, I’m not telling you what to do here, ruleof thumb. I don’t think it’s a good idea for college students to havelong distance relationships. College is really an opportunity to beginwith a new community and explore who you are and establish a sense ofyourself and an identity in a new peer group. B.U. is a good sizedschool, Boston is a huge town, there’s a lot you’re going to miss byhaving yourself emotionally tied up to someone who’s 3000 miles awayand is a moving target, oh, and by the way, maybe having troublehimself maintaining celibacy or whatever you guys have agreed to. So,in general, it’s just a rough idea to do this, and if you love eachother and you want to do it, enjoy, but boy, at 19, these kinds ofrelationships don’t last anyway.
#6: Yea, that’s true.
D: Yea, so, what are you studying?
#6: I’m actually going to be into the entertainment business.
D: Law?
#6: No, just booking or managing something like that.
D: Interesting.
V: So, you’re going to be traveling a lot as well.
D: You’ll get to Los Angelus in no time. Alright, thanks Rachel, thanks for your call.
#6: Thank you.
D: We’re going to take a break right now. When we return, we’re going to hear a song from HIM.
V: Oh, wow.
D:And we got Ville Valo here, and I want to hear more about your familyof origin, and the interesting place that your dad worked I heardabout.
V: I worked there as well.
D: Say no more; the phone number is 1800 LOVE 191, we’ll be right back.
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Loveline Transcript Feb 26, 2006 Pt. 2
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Dr.Drew: You’re on Loveline with HIM, Ville Valo, or Bill Light as I liketo call him. We’re going to hear a song called Wings of a Butterfly injust a second. We’re going to hear a phone call first from Nicky. HeyNicky, you’re on with Ville. Is it Vill-lay or Vill-uh?
Ville: Vill-eh.
D: So it’s towards uh.
V: uh. …Whatever.
D: Go ahead Nicky, sorry.
#7: Is it alright to date someone that your dad hates even though he’s a whole lot older than you?
D: How old is this guy?
#7: He’s 20.
D: How old are you?
#7: 16.
D:Whether your dad hates him or not, not okay. Okay? No it’s not okay.Because when you’re 20, you will look at 20 year old peers, male, andif you see one of them dating a 16 year old you will wretch. You willthink, “This guy should be put in jail” which is in fact the case inthe United States.
[Silence]
D: Nicky, you there?
#7: So it will not be okay.
D: Oh, no, I take it all back, it’s just fine. Do what you want. Can you not hear us?
#7: Yea, I can.
D: What did I just say?
#7: That it would be okay. [Giggle]
D: No.
V: No, no, no. Let’s say that you’re doing better than Jerry Lee Lewis, but still, it’s not okay.
D: A 20 year old with a 16 year old is not okay whether your dad likes it or not. Did you understand that?
#7: Yea.
D:Okay, and what I said was, when you’re 20 and when you think about your20 year old male friends dating a 16 year old, you will vomit, becausea 20 year old is in a different place than a 16 year old. I know rightnow it’s exciting and satisfying, sort of um, gratifying… what’s theword I’m looking for-
V: Thrilling.
D: Validating, Thrilling, this is not a good guy. Okay?
#7: Yea.
D: Probably, that’s why your dad hates him. He has your best interest at heart. Why does your dad hate him?
#7: Because he works with him, and he thinks he ain’t going to go nowhere.
D:Right, and therefore he wouldn’t want you to be stuck with a loser likethat, a Criminal loser, by the way. A 20 year old wants to date a 16year old.
#7: He’s not a criminal or anything.
D: He is. He’s dating a 16 year old.
[Silence]
D:Right? Those laws are there for a reason. They’re there to protect theyoung person; from exploitation by these guys that look so alluring tothe 16 year old but are the 20 year olds that look like total ‘effinglosers. So, let him date other 20 year old or 19 year old, that’s fine;people his own age, and leave you alone. Your dad is so right on, theGod he’s speaking up about it. Let’s hear a song. What does HIM standfor?
V: [Sighs] We started out as a Black Sabbath tribute band.The based their name off a horror movie, so we wanted an horrific namewhich we definitely invented by calling ourselves His Infernal Majesty.And a lot of people thought that we had something to do with Satan.
D: That’s very dungeon and dragons.
V: Well, exactly, but that wasn’t the case. A lot of religious people thought that we had some malicious intent-
D: Putting the Pentagram on your album didn’t help things [Laughs]
V: Well, it’s called a Heartagram.
D:Oh, that’s right, that’s what you’re famous for; it’s the ying and yangthing. [Lots of things happening at once here] I heard they’re oneverything.
V: Nearly, nearly. A long name; a stupid name, pseudo-satanic and shortened it up.
D: So it’s making fun of all that stuff.
V: I grew up listening to Ozzy Osborne, Iron Maiden-
D: Have you met Ozzy since uh…
V: I have actually. He was quite the gentleman.
D: Ozzy and Sharon have been up here many times.
V: I’m such a fan myself.
D:Jack sure has been great too. He’s been up here recently and Ozzy andSharon were here within their first week of filming. They broughtcameras in here and were like, “you know, we just go this crazy thingfollowing us around and we don’t know what to make of it all.” That wasbefore anything went to air so, there we were. Let’s hear Wings of aButterfly. You go ahead, send us out.
V: Yea, so, the band iscalled HIM from Finland, and this song is going to change your lifehopefully its called “Rip Out the Wings of a Butterfly.”
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D:That was Wings of a Butterfly, Ville Valo in here tonight. I can tellhe’s popular because no one can call loveline with anything other thancalls about HIM. They’re jamming the phone-lines. Here’s Brittney.
#8: Hey, um sorry. The lyrics are great and everything. But I was wondering if you had any advice about writing lyrics?
V:Writing lyrics? I think just keep reading as much as possible andexplain your soul on paper, for me it’s like writing a diary.
D: Is there any particular literature you’re interested in?
V: Everything.
D: Ancient literature or…?
V: Everything.
D: Everything.
V:Everything. I got a tattoo of Charles Baudelaire on my arm so I do abit of poetry, but I do everything, contemporary, everything,everything’s good.
D: Do you read in English? Do you read in Finnish?
V: Only in English, usually.
D: You read in English?
V: Yea, because that helps with language, I wasn’t brought up in a family that speaks English so…
D: Where did you get the English?
V:By traveling a lot. Meeting people, and I do consider English languagebeing like, music as well. It’s about the tonality of it and thank godI was brought up in a country that never dubbed anything on TV, sothere were always subtitles.
D: You don’t have an English accent though.
V: Yea, well... yea, I don’t know.
D: You never had formal schooling in English?
V:Bits and pieces, but it’s very formal, it’s very level 1 so to speak.Grammar, bits and pieces of words to know what an apple is and that’sabout it.
D: That’s crazy, your English is impeccable.
V: Working on it. Thank you sir, thank you sir, I consider it to be a beautiful language-
D: English? Most people are sort of disdainful of English.
V: No, I think that English has been raped with the bad use of it.
D: Americans?
V:No, I’m not saying that. I’m saying everybody in the world like baddialogues in movies that effect people. I think that’s it a veryfruitful language if you know how to use it well. My father, inFinnish, has always been a verbal acrobat and I love the impact you canhave when you a language right. It’s a very interesting thing that’s mymain hobby, besides music; English.
D: Is there any stand-out authors for you?
V: Not really.
D: You said a Frenchman, you said Baudelaire…
V: Edgar Allen Poe is one of my favorites; I love that kind of stuff.
D: Very loyal to Americans…
V: Stuff like that. I consider it to be really, really interesting but as I said, I read everything.
[Huh? In the background]
D: Huh? Who is Edgar Allen Poe, Are you serious? Seriously?
Producer guy: There’s another thing the audience probably has no idea what you’re guys are talking about.
V: Oh, well, okay. We’ll continue talking back to Britney.
D: Poe’s a famous poet, author, from…
Producer guy: Well, I think they’d know that, The Simpsons did an episode of that.
D: Right… he wrote a famous poem called the Raven.
Producer Guy: As far as Bill’s tattoo, I think some of the kids heads exploded.
V:Oh, well. Charles Baudelaire, he’s a French fellow who wrote TheFlowers of Evil, which everybody should read, especially anybody thathas been young and bored of their life and thinking about dark thingsand thinking about what they’re going to do next. It’s very lifeassuring collection of poems.
D: Baudelaire you’re talking about?
V: Baudelaire, yea.
D: He wrote in 18th century.
V: 18… …yea.
D: Lets get some calls going here. This is Katherine. Katherine you’re on with Ville Valo from HIM.
#9: Hi! How are you guys today?
D: Hey!
V: [uber deep voice] Hello there.
D: Cheers mate. What’s happening?
#9: Um, I was sexually abused as a kid.
V: Oh.
D: She said gleefully.
#9:What? He-he, its better to keep an optimistic attitude about it than toact like it’s horrible. When you’re in a relationship, how do you tellsomeone about that without worrying about judgment? I’ve asked 100people about this, and no one can ever tell me.
D: Well, Isuspect most guys that would attracted to you, as someone who’s beenabused, would already have been in a bent, in other words a type of guywho likes rescuing.
#9: Oh jeez.
D: Am I right?
#9: I suppose.
D: You probably get one of two guys. You get a bad guy that you’re attracted to or a rescuing guy who’s attracted to you.
#9: Yea, I tend to find the people who are exactly like the person that-
D: Abused you.
#9: Right.
D: So what are you doing about that?
#9: Yea, well I’ve had fair [??] and the rest of it and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
D: Did the attractions change, or were you able to read or contain those attractions?
#9: I just kind of stopped allowing myself to be attracted to anyone.
D: Oh, okay. Are you still doing therapy?
#9: Yea, when I feel like it.
D:So, many one of the things you can do is maybe go around with guys thatyou’re not so very attracted to because those guys are less likely tobe the abusive types. The ones that are attracted to you are sense thatyou are injured inner-core are going to be the guys that are intorescuing and the guys that are into rescuing are going to sort of betantalized by the abuse thing… not in a sexual way in a sense thatthey’ll feel like, “oh it’s okay, I’ll be here for you,” or somethingor, “I’ll rescue you,” guys get into that
V: I think thatthere’s something in between as well. To be brutally, brutally honestwith you, I have been in a relationship where a lady has been sexuallyabused as a kid and I think that sharing and talking is the best thing.You know it doesn’t-
#9: Were you judgmental? I’m assuming you weren’t.
D: Have you found guys to be judgmental? I’m sort of surprised that you’re so focused on it.
#9: I found people who, just don’t want to talk about it.
D:Yea, the narcissistic a-holes that are like the guys that abused you,who might be exposed to shame or something if they found out if youwere actually injured and they were actually exploiting you, theywouldn’t like that. So you know, they’re not really empathically intuned to you, they don’t want to talk about it, they don’t want to hearabout it. And I figure they’re not really judging you, they just don’twant to hear about it.
#9: That’s true, that’s true.
D: And I’d be surprised of you found people who were like, “oh my god, you’ve been tainted!”
#9: I’m not saying they’d hate my guts forever, but you know…
D: But you’re just saying they’d be judgmental…
#9: I think I might’ve just used the wrong word.
D: Or they would feel as though you’ve been “tainted” in some way.
#9: Yea, that’s more of what I’m thinking along the line.
V:Everybody’s tainted in some way. I think its just-keep your mind open.Don’t, yourself, be judgment when it comes to men because you’re goingto be in that little tiny dark room for the rest of your life.
D:And she’s doing what she needs to do. She’s getting treatment, she’snot following her impulses, She doesn’t trust her attractions…
V: And she’s calling here and talking about it…
D: And mood wise she sounds pretty happy there. Kelly, what’s up there?
#10: Oh, is it me?
D: Yea, it’s you
#10: Oh cool, super. Hi Ville!
V: Hello there sweetie.
#10:I’m a huge fan, I just want to get this out right away, because I wentthrough a lot of crap in my life and your music is just taking me outof a dark place and now everything fine. My question is I’m goingthrough a divorce right now and it’s my second and I have a child withthis person and he’ll be 3 in May. One of the things is, I don’t knowif maybe it’s worth saving because of the child. I know there’s a lotof issues that need to be explained about it and as far as I know, it’sonly a couple hours show and I really don’t want to get into it, but sit always worth trying to work it out when there’s a child involved.
D:Yes, it is always worth trying unless there’s overt abuse going on,because Kelly, here’s the deal, you failed twice, you’re going to failagain. You’re going to find some other problems with some other guys.Why not try to work this one through?
#10: He’s like an 8 year old boy trapped in a 33 year old man’s body.
V: Aren’t we all?
D: Sounds like most 33 year old males.
#10:It’s really hard to explain. He’s really horrible with money; I had tosell most of my personal belongings jus to put food on the tablebecause he just doesn’t care.
D: How about you go to atherapist, you agree upon some ground rules, he goes into some sort ofa structured program with his money because it’s his issue, and heget’s a budget. You do all these things and you try to work it all out.If it’s impossible, maybe he can go to debtors anonymous or somethinglike that, if it’s impossible, doesn’t work, then fine.
#10:He won’t agree to counseling, I’ve already tried. It’s been a year andI’m trying to think of a positive role model for my son.
V: Ifyour son has a daddy like that, I think he’s being a terrible rolemodel already. So, at the end of the day... you can’t stretch it.
D:Not only that, that is going to be his dad for the rest of his life.He’s always going to be that role model, helping him change my be amore fruitful way of creating a better role model for your son thanbringing in another guy he doesn’t really like and who know what thehell does down with that relationship.
V: The internal optimist you are.
D: I just know people.
#10: Part of me doesn’t want to be divorced twice…
D: Kelly, I think you should make a go of it, but the fact that he is not willing is very distressing
#10:We’re separated and all and he told me, “now that you’re leaving, itfeels like there’s burden being lifted off my shoulders,” and he’s justbeing really hurtful.
V: Well, just kick him in the balls and a vodka IV.
D: Nut-sack and a direct hit with the heel and then vodka IV. That’s the Ville method.
#10: he has another child with another woman also I think it’s some sort of pattern for him.
D:I don’t know how many times he has to do this for it to become apattern but be that as it may, but the pattern here is that you picknot such great guys and that’s the worst thing I can say about thisbecause that damns for you doing this again but the best thing I cansay about this is you had a role to have played in this too somehow youcontributed to all this even if it was by not setting limits.
#10: Stupidity and being alone…
D:Whatever, maybe you should go get some therapy and maybe changesomething that’s going on with you or look at it very carefully. Atleast if he wont go, you can work on yourself and make some reallyclear decisions and maybe make some plans to change the future. Thatwould be good for your son for sure. Ville Valo here from HIM, we’regoing to hear some more music from him, we haven’t picked a song yetbut…
V: ooh, applause, nice.
D: His dad owns a porn shop! We’re going to hear about it, we’ll be right back.
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