I packed my tent with cheerful pride,
Excited for the great outside
The birds all sang, the pines stood tall….
Then Summer greeted, “Welcome, y’all!”

A smiling ranger waved me through.
“Your campsite’s waiting just for you!
We’ve made your stay the very best - 
Our staff will handle all the rest”

First came Heat, with a glowing grin.
“I’ll tuck you in warm from within
No need for blankets, coats, or fleece.…
You’ll simmer here in perfect peace”

Humidity rushed up with glee.
“We’re camping buddies - you and me!”
It wrapped around me, chest to shoe,
Like cling wrap made of soggy glue

Mosquito buzzed, clipboard in hand.
“Just checking things are just as planned
We’ll sample every inch of skin,
To make sure blood is flowing in”

The Gnats yelled, “Don’t eat all alone!
Your sandwich’s practically our own!”
They seasoned every single bite,
Then hovered proudly through the night

The Flies arrived in formal wear.
“We’ve smelled your dinner from somewhere
We couldn’t bear to let you dine,
Without us sharing what smells so fine”

Then Tick stepped out without a sound,
The creepiest camper ever found
He whispered softly, “Don’t you fret.…
You’ll never know we’ve even met”

The Sun looked down with beaming pride,
“My rays are perfectly applied
I’ll toast you lightly, nice and neat,
Then accidentally overheat”

The tent became a sauna fast,
Designed to make discomfort last
I flipped and flopped till morning’s light,
No one was sleeping there that night

By morning I looked rough indeed - 
Five bites, three burns, one scratched-up knee
A squirrel just stared with knowing eyes….
As if he’d witnessed my demise

But then comes autumn, cool and bright,
With amber trees and softer light
The bugs will pack their bags and leave,
Their awful campground office dead

The fire will glow just warm enough,
The blankets will feel delightfully snug
The trails will be peaceful, crisp, and clean -
Exactly how I always dream

So if you ask where I’ll be found,
While summer spreads its heat around
I’ll smile and simply disappear….
Wake me when September’s here