hope
via Slashdot an ex-TSA screener's blog:
I recall one time I did a bag check on a man from Detroit, once the auto-making capital of the world. Having been informed by the x-ray operator that there was a bottle of water in the bag, I pulled it out and quickly sensed that something was slightly off. Then, I realized what it was: there was an enormous dildo rubber-banded to it. I then had an epiphany, spreading over me like a sunrise, beautiful and exhilarating: he wanted me to have to deal with the dildo. He did it on purpose. In rubber-banding that dildo to the water bottle he knew we would target, he seemed to say:
Plenty more where that came from.
I recall one time I did a bag check on a man from Detroit, once the auto-making capital of the world. Having been informed by the x-ray operator that there was a bottle of water in the bag, I pulled it out and quickly sensed that something was slightly off. Then, I realized what it was: there was an enormous dildo rubber-banded to it. I then had an epiphany, spreading over me like a sunrise, beautiful and exhilarating: he wanted me to have to deal with the dildo. He did it on purpose. In rubber-banding that dildo to the water bottle he knew we would target, he seemed to say:
“Yes, I have a dildo, federal officer. Even after the horrors of
9/11, I am still alive; full of vitality, love, sex and, later tonight,
that large dildo rubber-banded to the water you are about to confiscate
from me. That bottle of water, bought with hard-earned American dollars
to relinquish my bodily fluids, so as to make me strong and keep the
wheels of commerce of this great nation turning. In taking my water, I
want you, federal officer, to know that the terrorists have won, and
that you are complicit. I want you to see my dildo. To hold it in your
hand; to know that I, as well as my fellow passengers and countrymen,
are strong and resilient.
Plenty more where that came from.