how I never learned to weep." This one I can resonate with so deeply because I spent the majority of my life never allowing myself to weep... but once I opened myself to do so, I couldn't stop, and now I cry at everything... 😭🫠
Life is pretty sad, isn't it Laura? I didn't expect you to drop in and read this, so you'll have to excuse the overly-bright decor. Next time I'll make it more shadowy, just for you. 😎
I think I went in the opposite direction, crying way too much (at least, for a male) as a young man. And now I'm all dried up, but still enjoy proximity to sad things. Sometimes I think there's a certain emotional masochism to reading poetry.
Rafa. A great poem that feels like a meditation on how some relationships become a cycle of approach and retreat. Where insight arrives, but too late to repair what was already lost and testing out each precipice, only to have success pulled from underneath you.
Also, an image from The Princess Bride goes down well in my book any day of the week!
Haha. 😂 It's a real shame what happened to the director, isn't it? Do you think we can use that for marketing purposes, as in... "This is what happens when you unsubscribe from Mark Crutchfield!"
I don't think I had a particular relationship in mind when I started writing this, but was thinking about how every relationship ever seems to make at least one party feel. I think you really identified the "pop song" element of this. Thanks for the thoughtful read!
Hi Rafa, it feels like standing on the edge of everything at once, longing, grief, even growth. Sometimes we think we’re being strong, but we’re really just holding too much inside. And then it spills out in ways we don’t expect, maybe even hurting someone we care about.
Hmmm. What would I say to someone who broke up with their girlfriend or boyfriend? (It’s easier much easier when you are not in that situation, right? ) . Hey, at least you got to experience them. But wait- does it depend if the other was nice or maybe they did not do so nice things? I guess again- it all depends.
Perhaps the magic resides in the reality that there is never any one right thing to say. This forces us to pay so much more attention to who we're dealing with, and truly savor them before they're gone.
Thank you so much for the thoughtful observations, and for supporting my work. If I figure out anything major, I'll skywrite it above your rooftop with my private jet. 😊
That old rotten drawbridge scratched some perfect dramatic little part of my brain~ Such a doomed fairy tale object, wobbling there between hope and humiliation, and now I am weirdly attached to that bridge... XDD
I think it's durable enough for one more crossing, before it falls apart completely. Now the question is, Asuka... will you cross it, not knowing whether you'll ever be able to get back to your writing desk?
A lot of my poems were conceived as songs, with a melody to at least some sections of them. But then I decided it was easier to scrap the melody and finish them using poetic (rather than songwriting) language. My poem Transitions is a prime example of this. I couldn't finish it as a song, because I realized the melody was too similar to Red River Valley.
InCREdible, Rafa! The catalectic trochaic lines make the rhythm so satisfying to read. I’ll definitely have the tune of this in my head for the entire day, haha.
Thanks so much for reading this, Brooklyn! You really like these variations of meter, and their unique sounds. Is there a good textbook on prosody? If not, you should write one.
I don't know if there's a fancy term for it, but I switch to iambs for the last two lines of each stanza. Is there a fancy term for this?
Well, it depends! If you are simply adding an extra unstressed syllable at the start of a trochaic line, it’s called “anacrucis”. If you take out a trochaic line’s first syllable instead, then you are using an acephalous or headless line. It’s the opposite variation of catalexis (adding or taking syllables from the end of the line to change the structure).
If you wholly change the structure of a line instead, then you are doing a “metrical shift”!
Would you agree that iambic and trochaic lines have a different essential "sound", regardless of whether or not the first syllable of the line is stressed?
To me, "Peter, Peter pumpkin-eater" sounds perfectly trochaic, so if you changed it to "With Peter, Peter Pumpkin-eater" you'd have a trochaic line with an anacrucis. (...although I didn't know the term — thank you.)
However, by contrast "She walks in beauty, like the nightfall." Would be an iambic line with an anacrucis at the end. (even though it has exactly the same stress pattern)
So which of these two would apply to "I tumbled from the precipice, and broke some part of you"? Does it sound like trochees with an anacrucis? Or iambic all the way?
The “anacrucis at the end” is called hypercatalexis, as far as I’ve researched. So it would be a “hypercatalectic iambic tetrameter”—if we got pompous with terminology, lol. Anacrucis can turn first iambs into anapests or trochees into amphibrachs!
What you do here at the end is fascinating because you add a syllable on the preceding pair of lines (from “ON a DAY of CHILDren LEARNing” to “ON a DAY of ANgry EleMENTS”, though that last could arguably also be a dactyl as E-laments) and *then* you take the first syllable from the last pair (to “i TUMbled FROM the PREciPICE”, also arguably a dactyl).
Thus, what you do is progressively transition to the full metric shift by first adding a hypercatalectic line and then taking its head off. So the full iambs at the end—yes, I’d say they are full iambs now because you’re using the same amount of syllables as the starting trochaic line—have been better set up to flow naturally.
I’d say the metric shifts happen when you end up with even syllable counts from iambic to trochaic or viceversa since they are intrinsically paired kinds of feet. All the other terms come into play when you have odd numbers of syllables.
When you go from anapests to iambs, on the other hand, for example, that’s already just changing the meter arbitrarily.
I figured that, according to your terminology, I was doing a metrical shift at the end of each stanza in my poem. A lot of your other descriptions here are hard for me to follow, because I'm still uncertain about the answer to a more basic question. Would you be so kind as to try to shed some light upon this matter?
If you look at two lines with the exact same stress pattern side-by-side, is it possible to deem one *iambic* and the other *trochaic* merely on the basis of the sound of the words?
In my example above, "with PEter PEter PUMPkin EAter" and "she WALKS in BEAUty LIKE the NIGHTfall" are both nine syllables, starting with an unstressed syllable and then alternating. Does this mean they must both be construed as containing the same kind of foot? Or is it possible, without any context from the remainder of the poems in which they appear, to evaluate one as trochaic and the other as iabmic?
I’m sorry. ☠️ I start yapping sometimes. But really, it all relies on context. You could say it’s either depending on the *rest* of your poem. My descriptions are based on your starting meter, which dominates through the poem.
It’s like that 9 or 6 meme where it’s all on perspective. You can take the opposite stance and say I’m wrong for the giggles.
Is it when we understand our worth, our likability, or not, or what do we understand and don’t understand. Is is there no reason to so complicate it? :)
"I’ll confess to you, my darling,
how I never learned to weep." This one I can resonate with so deeply because I spent the majority of my life never allowing myself to weep... but once I opened myself to do so, I couldn't stop, and now I cry at everything... 😭🫠
Life is pretty sad, isn't it Laura? I didn't expect you to drop in and read this, so you'll have to excuse the overly-bright decor. Next time I'll make it more shadowy, just for you. 😎
I think I went in the opposite direction, crying way too much (at least, for a male) as a young man. And now I'm all dried up, but still enjoy proximity to sad things. Sometimes I think there's a certain emotional masochism to reading poetry.
It's really nice to have you here. Truly.
I like bright decor from time to time 😂 it's truly interesting how our emotional capacities shift throughout our lives. And I'm glad to be here 🫶🏽🖤
Cry laughing is the best 🥰
Yes! 🖤
Rafa. A great poem that feels like a meditation on how some relationships become a cycle of approach and retreat. Where insight arrives, but too late to repair what was already lost and testing out each precipice, only to have success pulled from underneath you.
Also, an image from The Princess Bride goes down well in my book any day of the week!
Haha. 😂 It's a real shame what happened to the director, isn't it? Do you think we can use that for marketing purposes, as in... "This is what happens when you unsubscribe from Mark Crutchfield!"
I don't think I had a particular relationship in mind when I started writing this, but was thinking about how every relationship ever seems to make at least one party feel. I think you really identified the "pop song" element of this. Thanks for the thoughtful read!
My name is inigo montaya! You killed my subscriptions. Prepare to… :)
What you do not know, is... I do not unsubscribe left-handed! 😂
😂
Hi Rafa, it feels like standing on the edge of everything at once, longing, grief, even growth. Sometimes we think we’re being strong, but we’re really just holding too much inside. And then it spills out in ways we don’t expect, maybe even hurting someone we care about.
I think you really nailed it with this comment, Keiichiro!
We can resist growth so much that every time we get close, it feels like tiptoeing up to a ledge that we don’t want to fall off of.
Thank you for the careful read and thoughtful words.
Hmmm. What would I say to someone who broke up with their girlfriend or boyfriend? (It’s easier much easier when you are not in that situation, right? ) . Hey, at least you got to experience them. But wait- does it depend if the other was nice or maybe they did not do so nice things? I guess again- it all depends.
Perhaps the magic resides in the reality that there is never any one right thing to say. This forces us to pay so much more attention to who we're dealing with, and truly savor them before they're gone.
Thank you so much for the thoughtful observations, and for supporting my work. If I figure out anything major, I'll skywrite it above your rooftop with my private jet. 😊
That old rotten drawbridge scratched some perfect dramatic little part of my brain~ Such a doomed fairy tale object, wobbling there between hope and humiliation, and now I am weirdly attached to that bridge... XDD
I think it's durable enough for one more crossing, before it falls apart completely. Now the question is, Asuka... will you cross it, not knowing whether you'll ever be able to get back to your writing desk?
This is incredible very stanza lands so hard on their own! So beautiful thank you! 😍
Thanks so much for reading this, Twilight, and for pushing this to 100 likes. My first ever triple-digit post! 🥳
Oh woww!! That’s amazing congratulations Rafa!!! Well deserved. This one really had me! ❤️❤️❤️🩹
Give me some time please Rafa to tune my brain to this remarkable voice. I want to be a worthy member of your audience.
Haha 😂 Flattery will get you everywhere, my friend!
Thanks so much for reading my poem. The next one’s coming in 2 ½ hours.
Don't I know it! But sometimes it can't be helped. Read you again soon. 🥳
I know it's a poem but this would be a deep, emotional song☺️ very awesome!
Thanks for the read and kind words, Bookfairy!
A lot of my poems were conceived as songs, with a melody to at least some sections of them. But then I decided it was easier to scrap the melody and finish them using poetic (rather than songwriting) language. My poem Transitions is a prime example of this. I couldn't finish it as a song, because I realized the melody was too similar to Red River Valley.
Omg yes!!! I could not think of the Song that it reminded me of😂. But still it is wonderful!
InCREdible, Rafa! The catalectic trochaic lines make the rhythm so satisfying to read. I’ll definitely have the tune of this in my head for the entire day, haha.
Thanks so much for reading this, Brooklyn! You really like these variations of meter, and their unique sounds. Is there a good textbook on prosody? If not, you should write one.
I don't know if there's a fancy term for it, but I switch to iambs for the last two lines of each stanza. Is there a fancy term for this?
Well, it depends! If you are simply adding an extra unstressed syllable at the start of a trochaic line, it’s called “anacrucis”. If you take out a trochaic line’s first syllable instead, then you are using an acephalous or headless line. It’s the opposite variation of catalexis (adding or taking syllables from the end of the line to change the structure).
If you wholly change the structure of a line instead, then you are doing a “metrical shift”!
Would you agree that iambic and trochaic lines have a different essential "sound", regardless of whether or not the first syllable of the line is stressed?
To me, "Peter, Peter pumpkin-eater" sounds perfectly trochaic, so if you changed it to "With Peter, Peter Pumpkin-eater" you'd have a trochaic line with an anacrucis. (...although I didn't know the term — thank you.)
However, by contrast "She walks in beauty, like the nightfall." Would be an iambic line with an anacrucis at the end. (even though it has exactly the same stress pattern)
So which of these two would apply to "I tumbled from the precipice, and broke some part of you"? Does it sound like trochees with an anacrucis? Or iambic all the way?
The “anacrucis at the end” is called hypercatalexis, as far as I’ve researched. So it would be a “hypercatalectic iambic tetrameter”—if we got pompous with terminology, lol. Anacrucis can turn first iambs into anapests or trochees into amphibrachs!
What you do here at the end is fascinating because you add a syllable on the preceding pair of lines (from “ON a DAY of CHILDren LEARNing” to “ON a DAY of ANgry EleMENTS”, though that last could arguably also be a dactyl as E-laments) and *then* you take the first syllable from the last pair (to “i TUMbled FROM the PREciPICE”, also arguably a dactyl).
Thus, what you do is progressively transition to the full metric shift by first adding a hypercatalectic line and then taking its head off. So the full iambs at the end—yes, I’d say they are full iambs now because you’re using the same amount of syllables as the starting trochaic line—have been better set up to flow naturally.
I’d say the metric shifts happen when you end up with even syllable counts from iambic to trochaic or viceversa since they are intrinsically paired kinds of feet. All the other terms come into play when you have odd numbers of syllables.
When you go from anapests to iambs, on the other hand, for example, that’s already just changing the meter arbitrarily.
I figured that, according to your terminology, I was doing a metrical shift at the end of each stanza in my poem. A lot of your other descriptions here are hard for me to follow, because I'm still uncertain about the answer to a more basic question. Would you be so kind as to try to shed some light upon this matter?
If you look at two lines with the exact same stress pattern side-by-side, is it possible to deem one *iambic* and the other *trochaic* merely on the basis of the sound of the words?
In my example above, "with PEter PEter PUMPkin EAter" and "she WALKS in BEAUty LIKE the NIGHTfall" are both nine syllables, starting with an unstressed syllable and then alternating. Does this mean they must both be construed as containing the same kind of foot? Or is it possible, without any context from the remainder of the poems in which they appear, to evaluate one as trochaic and the other as iabmic?
I’m sorry. ☠️ I start yapping sometimes. But really, it all relies on context. You could say it’s either depending on the *rest* of your poem. My descriptions are based on your starting meter, which dominates through the poem.
It’s like that 9 or 6 meme where it’s all on perspective. You can take the opposite stance and say I’m wrong for the giggles.
Fanfreakingtastic
Thanks, MRK! How do you pronounce your handle? Is it "murk?"
Ahaha They're technically my initials. I pronounce it as "Making Mark"
Martin Roofer King? 😉
This one sucked me right in. Which doesn't happen all too often with romance poetry. So, great work!
Thanks, Matthew! This time, I went for short and impactful.
I have a few similar ones posted. If you have time, you may enjoy Transitions, Animal Woman or Churchyard.
Oh sweet. I'll see if I can get to them today.
This is beautiful and very well written. 🤙
Thank you so much, Tim! You just made my day. The emoji made all the difference. 🤘
I enjoyed reading your poem! Thank you🌹
Thank you for reading it, Linda! Every reader means a great deal to me, on my quest to vanquish the void. 😁
Still
On the edge
Of the ledge
EN
D
AiryJuan .
力行神.
Took 2 runs.
B Back 🔜.
Thank you, Dakko! Funny how none of us have ever quite fallen yet.
So broken yet hopeful💛Awesome💛💛💛
Thank you so much for coming, pm! I hope it was worth the price of a ticket.
And you know what they say, about hope springing eternal? I think that line originated from the Pope. 😉
Indeed 💛💛
Is it when we understand our worth, our likability, or not, or what do we understand and don’t understand. Is is there no reason to so complicate it? :)