THE GRAND HIGH POOBAH OF UPPER BUTTCRACK

Back From The Dead

2017-01-10T22:50:13Z

Hey all! I'm still alive! As you might have already guessed, nursing school ate my life and I've fallen off the face of the earth since it started. Wonderful program, but holy hell it keeps me busy! I'm making progress though... I've got my licensing exam on the 19th. I still have another year and a half of the program to finish up plus I need a job ASAP so I have no idea what my schedule is going to be like coming up. I'm still on hiatus, but ideally I'd like to post something every so often so people don't think I died. :( I'm sorry for causing some worry!

In sim news, my old-ass dinosaur of a computer didn't survive the move to where I'm living now, so I got to build a new computer and put the Ultimate Collection on it! ...And then proceeded to not touch TS2 for over a year! I guess I needed an extended break because I haven't even had the urge to play until about a week ago. Everything made it onto the new computer so no worries there. Also, some housekeeping things: I recently discovered that Box is being dumb and my bandwidth is constantly maxed out for whatever reason. I'm not sure if the Box workaround works in this case, so I've added two additional download links to the Downloads page -- one for all the sims, one for all the other assorted stuff I've done. Also, there was an anon who asked me a long time ago (VERY long, imsosorry) how I organized my skin genetics; I've uploaded my genetic scale list here.

Okay, back to work for me! But I'll be puttering around on LJ for a bit later to do some cleaning up. See you then!

Pomerantz Legacy ISBI 2.4

2015-07-18T21:25:17Z

Hi and welcome! I'm back with some more ISBI goodness! (Still alive, just really busy! My life now consists of me screaming, "IT'S JULY?! WHERE THE FUCK IS THIS YEAR GOING" on a daily basis.) Actually, there's a LOT more ISBI goodness because this update clocks in at 115+ pictures and I couldn't cut it down anymore. And if you're like me and heard your ISP cackle as it shits out your sub-1-mbps internet speed, then I'm sorry in advance. :(

Last time: you should probably reread it since it's been a few months, but basically we narrowly avoided the loss of half the household, said goodbye to Sean's competent parenting skills, got a new baby named Molly, and realized that these kids have a horrible childhood!

We return to CASHLIN AND HIS CHILD ACTUALLY HUGGING! Thankfully he was suited up first so as to minimize physical contact. Hugs: never be caught unprepared.

Yo, can you guys keep it down back there? You're disturbing Nadia from... playing imaginary chess.

Sean: THIS ASS-WHUPPIN' JUST CAN'T BE DENIED, NADIA
Nadia: *twitch*

Nadia: I CAN'T CONCENTRATE!! I'M LOSING AT MY PRETEND GAME!!

Sean and Cashlin considerately move their fighting to the nursery, so they can punch each other in front of a two-year-old.

Sean: What's that look for? TIME TO LEARN THE HARSH REALITIES OF LIFE, KID.

Molly's not a very happy toddler.

But hoisting Beary up by his bear-junk and bodyslamming him cheers her up. Doesn't it for everyone?

Sure, maybe Aidan and Nadia have accepted their fate of being permanently ignored children, but not Molly. She wants her game-mandated parental attention and she wants it NOW, damnit!

Sean: UGGGGGGGHHHHH I DON'T WANNA HOLD IIIIIIIT

Turns out Sean isn't so keen on his daughter whining for attention all day long. Of course just sucking it up and giving her a hug would solve both of their problems, but Sean decided that he's dumb and no longer deserves his #1 Best Dad coffee mug.

Molly: Hold up. Did he just say... NO to me??

Molly: BULLSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

Molly: PICK ME UP! PICK ME UP!!
Sean: MY COURT ORDER SAYS TWENTY FEET AWAY AT ALL TIMES
They've been at this for hours now. JUST GIVE UP ALREADY!

Oh yeah, and during that whole fun routine: teen birthday time happened!

Nadia rolls Family and Romance and somehow looks pleasantly happy! I guess she grew up well.

Aidan does... this... which I guess means he also grew up okay? His only aspiration is Grilled Cheese because I'm trying out the Quinctia way of assigning aspirations: rolling the same asp twice will now leave the sim with only that aspiration, instead of tacking on the Grilled Cheese asp (which is also now in the primary aspiration roll! I'm sure this evolution of my gameplay is very exciting).

Nadia celebrates her birthday with some late-night gardening, because she doesn't need underage drinking! Or partying... or friends....

Umm, I think she has her work cut out for her, though.

Aidan: PLEASE DON'T FIGHT. YOU GUYS SHOULD BE FRIENDS. LIKE ME AND BEARY.

Aidan: CHECK OUT THESE SWEET PUBERTY GAINZ, BEARY.
I swear to god, I'm going to sell that stupid thing one day and no one can do anything about it. Also please notice Beary's stained and disheveled appearance from being molested by Aidan at all times. Yeugh!

There was this random guy loitering around outside the house, so I invited him in. The look on Nadia's face makes me think she finds him a little suspicious.

Maybe because he immediately runs inside and puts his grubby hands all over the baby.
Molly: STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER!

It took FOREVER to wrestle her out of his grip to get her to the birthday cake. Dang baby-obsessed townies!

Molly is cute! (and also colonized by flies)

Sean: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyaaaaahhhhhh!
Why is Sean shrieking like a little girl? I thought it was because Cashlin was beating him up. Oh, how sweet and naive I was.

Perhaps it might be because MR. CREEPY RANDOM GUY IS STARING AT HIM LIKE THIS?

SANGUIS BIBIMUS!
CORPUS EDIMUS!
AVE SATANI!

Then I stopped playing for two months. (Obviously the dark arts were involved. coincidence y/n???) But I took out my Radiance lighting, slapped together my own lighting edit, and reorganized my whole downloads folder, so at least I was productive! As you can see, Sean's traded in his anime hair for A RAD MOHAWK.

Now, the title of Prettiest Bishounen Hair can go to Cashlin of all people, who grew out this luscious mane since I've been gone. Complete with scowly, broody model face!
Cashlin: I will find whoever snuck Rogaine into my shampoo and I will end them.

Half the stuff in the house went missing, so I took it as a sign to give it a little makeover...

...while inexplicably, the eyes of Mr. Creepy Random Guy came back. At the cost of his hair.

Aidan: H-Hi mom! I'm not writing in my super secret diary! I swear!
Theodora: You think I care? Ahahahaaaa... that's funny!

Nadia: Not now, dad! I have to tell Sean how much I love school!!!

Nadia: Fucking... LOVE IT.

Way to look excited about your child's education, Sean.
Nadia: SCHOOL

Molly: I have to go to school now too? I'm too old for this shit.
Molly isn't as enthusiastic about school. She IS the only one who manages to go to bed at night so at least she's well-rested?

Molly: OFF TO THE START OF MY SOUL-SUCKING PUBLIC EDUCATION! *prance*

I forgot why I took this one. I think I was excited about the lot finally being devoid of children. But it is a nice reminder of how the house has come along since we started!

There's some ridiculously early ghosts here today instead. Sean starts bitching at me like this is somehow MY fault.

How about you guys go wrangle your annoying kids instead?

Theodora: Oh, sweetie! Smooch smooch smooch! You're so cute! But if you don't stop jumping on your bed, you're sleeping outside in the graveyard tonight.

Molly: bitch.

Molly? Maybe jumping on a bunk bed isn't such a great idea when, you know, your dad's trying to sleep in it.

Molly: LOL HI DAD

Nadia has moved onto existential contemplation of the chessboard.

But of course she'll still play too! You can tell she's good because she's got her smug face on during the whole game now.

BOFF

Theodora: Knocking out mommy's front teeth? Oho, I see how we're gonna play...

Pictured: the last photo taken of Aidan's one remaining brain cell.

Already my least favorite part of playing an ISBI is being forced to read and care about every chance card that comes my way.

WHAT? THIS BITCH HAS BEEN UNDERWATER FOR FIFTEEN YEARS AND HE ISN'T DEAD? Wait, that's actually pretty impressive. And yet it still causes Theodora to lose her job. YOU AIN'T SHIT, ADVENTURER CAREER. YOU AIN'T SHIT.

Lemme tell you, this really hurts to see...

Sean: No! Don't you touch me with your disgusting, JOBLESS hands!

Aidan: MOMMMMMMMMMMM HAHAHA LOOK I GOT AN A ON MY REPORT CARD AM I WORTH SOMETHING NOW
Theodora: Nope.

Can we move on to happier, brighter things? Like the repairman I hired losing his goddamn mind at the TV he needs to fix?

Repairman: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
He must be at full tilt today because his "repair work" consists only of incoherent screaming and stabbing the television repeatedly with a screwdriver.

Stop screwing around with it and just fix it already! heh.

Repairman: EXCEPT FOR MY SANITY, THAT IS! WELL, THAT'LL BE 300 DOLLARS
Sean: I should have moved to West Hollywood when I had the chance.

With Theodora out of work AGAIN, I've turned to child labor in order to pay the bills and made Nadia become a detective. It's also because Theo really wants Nadia to become an overachiever but uh, good luck with that happening in this legacy.

Here's her work outfit! Ahhhhhhhhh!! She's so cute I can't stand it!

One hour and one mysteriously located cat later, she's already got her first promotion! SWEET!

Using all six of those creativity points today, are we?

Theodora: ONLY FIVE SIMOLEONS FOR THIS?! I see those plebians can't recognize TRUE TALENT

Later, I got bored and sent Theodora and the kids out to a park so they could be annoying somewhere other than at home!

Molly immediately runs over to the mic to start practicing her standup routine. I was going to make fun of her for her venue choice but I've never had a sim kid do this and it was pretty adorable.

Nadia: STILL CUTE!

Theodora: STILL SURROUNDED BY HOT WOMEN! Really, I don't get it.

Nadia: Ahem, tonight I'll be playing an acoustic rendition of a song you probably haven't heard of! It's called "Wonderwall" by Oasis--

Audience: BOOOOOOOOOOOO BOO OH NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN BOOOOOO
Lmao, Nadia's family is so supportive.

Wooooo~oooooo! Spooooooooooooooky ghost hooooouuuuur~~!

There may only be two ghosts around on the lot right now, but they're annoying enough that I took out the Scaring Tweaks from the ghost mod I use. Now the ghosts are so laughably weak that they can scare as much as they like and not kill anybody! (Probably.)

Which is really good timing on my part because my game still loves its totally bullshit ghost attacks. Three in a row, REALLY?

Molly....... :(

Aidan: Uh, yeah, I... I saw a ghost too. Cough cough.
SURE, AIDAN.

Strangling yourself in the bathroom? That's not a productive way to start your morning, young lady!
Molly: PLEASE LET ME LEAVE THIS CRUEL EARTH!

Theodora arrives home from Horrible Ambulance Job 2: Revenge of Ambulance Job with a smile on her face: she actually got a promotion her first day! Last time she was stuck on the first level for a week. I don't think she's really cut out for this "steady employment" thing.

I agree girl, I'm also bored to death of this! I like keeping up ISBI stats because it really illustrates how much these two idiots fight on a daily basis.

Which activity comes first in the time-tested battle between watching TV vs. caring for Sean's mental well-being? (spoiler: tv wins)

Oh man, I'm SO happy I nerfed my ghost mod right now. This girl is total ghost bait.

Molly: YOU NEED TO CONTROL YOUR BUST. I KNOW YOUR BIG OL' TITTIES ARE LURING IN THESE GHOST PERVERTS.

Two promotions in a row!! Is this the real Theo I'm looking at right now?! It may not be in her LTW career but whatever, I need that bonus money so badly. Unfortunately, all the promotions means she's getting back-to-back shifts and the household isn't handling her absence very well.

Molly didn't go to school this morning because she thinks jumping on the bed is way more exciting. And Theodora is THRILLED about this!

Theodora: Honey, our kid is pretty stupid. Can we make a new one? <3
Nadia: BARF

Oh thank god, an actual human being for Aidan to interact with. Please don't let him mess this up.

Aidan: HAI LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT RATS! NO NO DON'T BE AFRAID, YOU CAN TRUST ME. I'M VERY VULNERABLE IN MY UNDERWEAR

Molly: I missed the bus again but mom's at work~! You can't make me go~! Neener neeener!

Policecat: TRUANCY IS NO JOKE! STAY IN SCHOOL, KIDS! MEOW!

Molly: SOMEBODY BETTER FEED A BITCH AROUND HERE.

Molly: 'CAUSE I SURE AS HELL AM NOT GONNA DO IT!
Follow this up with more tantrums and more complaining and you have Molly's morning in a nutshell! The elementary school dropout life sure is a tough one.

Theodora: Hellooooooooo, I'm ho--
SHUT UP AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR KID!

Theodora: I need to get my welcome-home hug first! AHEM, Molly.
Molly: Wait, is that who I think it is...?

Social Worker: *moseys in*
Molly: HOORAY! CPS HAS FINALLY ANSWERED MY PRAYERS!
Theodora: That's nice. Goodbye, sweetheart!
OH MY GOD. NOT THIS AGAIN!

Social Worker: *moseys out*
Where the hell was my warning? I'm guessing that Molly missed too much school and tanked her grade past the point of no return. Since I've already blown my one freebie rescue, the social worker is free to snatch her away. :(

She even goes "lol bai!!!!" as she smiles and clambers into the van. You'd think getting forcibly removed from your family would be traumatizing, but I bet this is the best day of her life. BYE MOLLY. YA WEIRD BASTARD.

Sean hides in the shower to cry over his daughter for a few minutes, which is probably the most attention he's ever paid to her.

Theodora, for her part, takes a nap. Conserving precious moisture!

Meanwhile, Nadia's detective job takes an intriguing turn as she thwarts The Notorious B.I.G. That's how I read it and I'm sticking to it. She wins another easy promotion for her efforts!

Oh man, I can't even remember the last time I had an overachiever...! sniff...

Question time! Guess who forgot to pay the bills after Molly was kidnapped?!

Cashlin: You think you can just walk into MY house? Well... you can. Please make yourself at home.
Just take him instead! Sell his organs on the black market! I'm sure they're only moderately damaged!

Instead the repo man takes... one whole chair and a mirror. Guy just doesn't know a goldmine when he sees one.

WELL WELL WELL. Nadia and Aidan have somehow managed to claw their way to the doorstep of adulthood, and are now eligible to become torch-holders! Which twin gets the dubious honor of carrying on the Pomerantz family legacy?

Unfortunately, there's no heir poll for this one. I'm already so slow and I need to start playing ahead more without waiting for poll results. I did briefly consider doing it but then Molly had to go and leave because of child welfare issues, PSSSHHHH. What a copout!

Do I choose gorgeous overachiever Nadia, or boring-as-shit bear-fucker Aidan?

Aidan: LMAO I'M SO TIRED but where is a bed??????
Nadia: *twitch*
Yeah, there's really no contest.

Kickin' ass since childhood and she ain't stopping now!
CONGRATULATIONS, NADIA!

+ Pomerantz ISBI Stats +

Torch-Holders:	1 → 2
LTWs Achieved:	0
Self-Wettings:	0 → 3
Pass-Outs:	1 → 2
Food Naps:	3
Fires:	0
Fights:	23 → 68
Shrink Visits:	2 → 3
Repossessions:	1 → 2
Accidental Deaths:	2
Social Worker Kidnappings:	2 → 1
Elixir of Life Uses:	2

Something new I did: hover your cursor over a category and now you'll get a small description of how I calculate it! (This doesn't seem to work on mobile so I apologize!) There's going to be some more radio silence up ahead; I'm moving in two weeks and starting school in a month, so I'll be getting a lot of shit together... but hey, I'm happy to have a new post after so long and I hope you enjoyed reading it. See you next time!

UPDATEZ

2015-05-21T07:33:31Z

Thank you, love secret submitter! I didn't want to post in the simsecret post since it's so late now (and I wasn't gonna enter Wank Hell over there, ohhhhh boy) but I did see it and it made me so happy! And thanks also to some sweetie anons in there, you guys are great too! ;O;

Onto business! I don't know when the next legacy update is gonna happen; I've either been sick, busy, or getting my shit together for grad school. Which I'm actually not sure if I've really talked about that yet: I'm going back to school full-time to get my Master of Nursing degree and RN license!! This is something I've been working towards for a long, long time and to finally start this next part of my life is just... I'm just relieved and terrified and excited all at the same time. THIS IS HAPPENING Y'ALL.

This also means that my already glacial posting speed is probably gonna nosedive further. I've been trying to think of other entertaining sims stuff I can do that won't take up as much of my time but I'm not sure what that would be. I keep coming back to tumblr: is that an okay format for TS2 legacy commentary shitposting? And will I ever even learn how to actually post there? I've read multiple tutorials and things like how reblogging or queues or replying or dashboards work still confound me. If you are tumblr-literate and don't mind me bugging you about questions then please let me know!

Pomerantz Legacy ISBI 2.3

2015-05-01T05:49:05Z

*kicks open door* I'M BACK! Geez, it's been awhile! Life has been busy but not too bad, although trying to nail down my grad school situation has been driving me nuts. On the sims front: I did a lot of work on my game! I overhauled my game lighting and cut out a good five gigs of CC, neither of which is apparent until sometime next update but I'm saying it now 'cause I'm secretly proud of myself for getting all that done. AND I NEED TO SOMEHOW JUSTIFY THAT LEVEL OF DORKINESS.

AND NOW, A RECAP BECAUSE IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME. Click here for some musical accompaniment.

Theodora and Cashlin are terrible parents!

And also murderers, because this guy totally died in their front yard. And he is PISSED ABOUT IT!

This leads to the untimely deaths of the family's evil nanny and Aidan...

...which summons THE CPS. DUN DUN DUN. Oh man, is that even terrifying anymore after the sixteen or whatever visits that happened last legacy?

Social Worker: Hi, care to explain how your son managed to starve to death under your care? And don't say 'ghost murder'.
Cashlin: BUT IT'S TRUE LOOK BEHIND YOU

Social Worker: Yeah, we're not falling for that one again.
THIEF: BOOGABOOGABOOGABOOOOOOOOOO!
Cashlin: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH OH FUCK MY ASS
Social Worker: Still don't belieeeeeeeve yooooouuu~!

So their convo is cut a little short due to Cashlin dropping dead. Really, the lengths some people will go to to get out of answering to the government! >:( And unfortunately, he's toast: Theodora is completely passed out and Sean no longer has his emergency action (I forget what I used it on, probably something dumb like catching the carpool). HOW UNFORTUNATE, REST IN PEACE POOR SWEET CASHLIN.

Social Worker Lady goes to scream at a new victim before carting the kids off with her. I was just so done at that point that I didn't even get a picture of their walk of shame to the car.

Theodora: Morning! watimiss?
SO. I suppose I could continue on with only Theo and Sean, and I DID tell myself I wouldn't reset if something bad happened... but fuck it, I'm giving myself a second chance! Time paradox!

We return to right before Aidan was scared to death. And just in time too: LOOK AT THAT PEDOTERRORIZER SMILE ON HIS FACE. WHAT A CREEPER.

*grab* *delete*

And guess which stupid jerk is back! Unfortunately I saved after evil nanny died, so she doesn't get to make a return appearance.

Also making a special reappearance: the bun in Theo's oven! Man, this pregnancy is really kicking her ass.

What's a girl to do? Perhaps listen to a beautiful (and unsolicited) operatic solo...
Sean: O SOOOOOOOOOLE MIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sean: I WON'T DENY IT, NOT TRYING TO HIDE IT, I'M A SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE 4 U!

Theodora: Oh my god. He's finally snapped. Just keep smiling, just keep smiling...

Theodora: YES, THAT'S VERY NICE DEAR! NOW BACK AWAY, VERY SLOWLY

Come on, this girl isn't so hard to please. She's perfectly content with dinner and a show!

Here is Aidan crumpling up his report card for whatever reason, probably because he got a B+ and OH NO CAN'T BRING THAT HORRIBLE GRADE BACK HOME

Nadia: Hi Aidan!
Aidan: DON'T SAY HI TO ME. I KNOW I'M A FAILURE. I SEE IT IN YOUR EYES.

To his credit, Aidan isn't a shitty kid about homework and will happily sit down with his mom to work on it.

Until Theodora throws an angsty tanty about it. Who's the shitty kid now?

Actually, I bet Aidan can never finish his homework because A HUNDRED PEOPLE CALL TO TALK TO SEAN EVERY DAMN DAY! Seriously, the phone rings off the hook from 2pm on into the evening, it's terrible.

Nadia: Sean, all the kids at school say Mom is a dirty cheater. Why is she?

Sean: Have you seen who she's married to?
Cashlin: BAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Theodora: oh my gOD SHUT UUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPP

I don't think Nadia likes that answer.

Nadia: He might hate Mom, but he doesn't hate me!
Cashlin: *ignores as usual*

Nadia: Dad, can I have a hug?
Cashlin: WOW DAMN YOU'RE DEMANDING, DO YOU WANT A CREDIT CARD AND SOME BAIL MONEY NEXT?

Sad Nadia: *grows sadder*
Awwwwww! :(

Cashlin: HELP, SHE'S STILL STANDING IN MY PERSONAL SPACE!
And she's just the cutest invader ever!

Here's your daily reminder that Nadia is absolutely nothing like her dad, in case you needed it. Which you really didn't.

Nadia: Oh no! I'll never beat Deep Blue at this rate!

Slicing Cashlin's head open on the table? That's nice, Sean.

Pancakes for breakfast! Theodora must really need to bribe the kids today!

Theodora: Nadia, you're going to be a big sister. I'm pregnant!
Cashlin: And I had nothing to do with it! :D

Theodora: HAHAHAHAHA OH YOUR DAD IS SUCH A KIDDER. How about you go do some of that homework you're so good at!!
Nadia: YAY!

Nerd child! Nerdiest little nerd child!

Theodora: ATTENTION ALL FUCKING ANNOYING CHILDREN, PLEASE STEP OFF OF THE BED

Theodora somehow hates his bed-jumping even more than I do.

Theodora: If I brought him into this world, I can take him out of it.

Aidan: HAHAHA JUST KIDDING MOM I DON'T LIKE JUMPING ANYMORE! :D

The new nanny showed up at the house! Her sunglasses let you know that she is TOTALLY RADICAL™.

New Nanny: THIS IS MY TURF NOW! YOU CAN JUST TAKE YOUR TINY PENIS AND STEP ON OUTTA HERE

New Nanny: That's right. WELCOME TO THE OWN ZONE, POPULATION: YOU.
Sean: Uh... okay then.

New Nanny: BUT YOU, YOU ARE GREAT
She lavishes Theodora with praise for the better part of an hour, for no reason. Yeah, New Nanny kinda creeps me out.

Please, I'm not convinced by that bitchface. This is all his fault for making friends with tons of annoying elementary schoolchildren and balding old men in the first place.

Maybe if someone called for Aidan it wouldn't be so bad, because let's be real here, you know he has no friends at school. He doesn't even talk to his family as it is. His only interaction is with his stupid bear.

Aidan: I don't need friends. I have Beary.
Hmmmmm, if you say so!

Chance card time! I would've told Sean to be nice, but I HAVE been watching him kick Cashlin's ass in every room in the house so please, he's totally the type to play dirty.

And it works out in his favor! I wish it would've been a promotion, though... D:

There's finally one glorious morning where everyone has left for work or school, leaving Theodora with some actual time to herself without slaving over everything.

Of course, this just means that the baby has to pick NOW to barrel out of her uterus and interrupt her well-deserved nap. THE RIDE NEVER ENDS!

New Nanny: AWWWWWW THIS IS NOT IN MY CONTRACT!

Theodora and Sean's baby is a girl, Molly! Same coloring as Theodora. Yeah, the genetic diversity is NOT strong this generation!

Theodora: Heheheh... just as planned.
What plan is that, you say?

Oh yeah! The juice is LOOSE, baby!

You may remember that Theodora "Hate Every Man" Pomerantz took a very long time to actually kick off the legacy, so she's already dangerously close to becoming an elder. Having Molly gave her just enough aspiration points to get the elixir of life she needed. GAMEPLAY STRATZ!

Cashlin: HONK HONK HONK HOOOOOONK HONK HONK HONKHONKHONKHONKHONK
God I hope that's how they drove the whole way home.

Kid: Hi sir! Hi! Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
Sean: Who the hell is that?

Apparently that would be Rove Douch(e). lol. i'm twelve

Ohhhhh, THAT'S a new one. Cashlin's only fought with Sean up until now!

Theodora: He pushed me? THIS MEANS I CAN'T LOVE HIM ANYMORE
YOU TWO WERE STILL A THING IN YOUR BRAIN?

I used some spare cash to finally buy another dining chair. Now everyone can fit around the kitchen table!

Well, almost everyone.

WTF #1: That's not your kid? You don't even like each other??

WTF #2: DAMNIT, THEO. GET BETTER PRIORITIES.

Aidan: AW HELLZ YEAH THE JUMPIN' IS GOOD TODAY
Radical Nanny seems to like Aidan, so she hangs out with him instead of doing anything important.

Radical Nanny: That's 'cause babies are lame-o!
Molly: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA CHANGE MY DIAPER YOU OLD HAG

Feeding the stinky baby! Smartz!

Radical Nanny: EWWW! This baby's butt smells TOTALLY grody. But why...?
SMARTZ!

Molly: That does it. FUUUUUUCK THIS. *THROW*

I still need the nanny because neither of these fucknuts are going to do anything productive with their time, I can tell you that much.

Theodora: Excuse me. Can everyone just stop so I can read in peace?

Sean: Aww, do you need to turn that frown upside-down? Need a visit from MR. TEDDY BEAR???

Theo eventually gives up and goes to watch TV with Levi outside. I don't think I've ever seen an animal who likes the television this much.

Mittens: PSSSSSSSSSST. Are you seeing this? That dog is WATCHING TV.

Theodora: Listen, if I could find a man who was worthy of my untouched bajingo, then a dog can watch TV. ~ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE~

Hey, it's Molly's birthday! That was fast!

And they miiiiight have hit the sauce beforehand to celebrate.
Theodora: hic jUST A LIL' BIT!!!!

Molly: AAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Theodora: CUZ I MEAN DAMN THIS BABY CAN PARTY LOL

KERBAMF!

Dawwwhawhawww! What a cute baby! Like her half-siblings before her, she looks a lot like Theo.

She had an impromptu adorable cuddle session with the bear so maybe she's nicer than her mom, at least!

Aidan: I CAUGHT YOU, BEARY! I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN WITH MOLLY. HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS!!

Aidan: Wait Beary, I'm sorry. You know I love you, Beary. I love you. I love you. I love you.

Meanwhile, the booze-n-cake wombo combo finally catches up to Theo. Happens to the best of us! (Or maybe just me. cough.) I think it's a good time to stop! Sorry for the long break, but thanks for still sticking with it and reading anyway. :D See you next time!

+ Pomerantz ISBI Stats +

Torch-Holders:	1
LTWs Achieved:	0
Self-Wettings:	0
Pass-Outs:	1
Food Naps:	3
Fires:	0
Fights:	3 → 23
Shrink Visits:	2
Repossessions:	1
Accidental Deaths:	1 → 2
Social Worker Kidnappings:	2
Elixir of Life Uses:	2

I'm pretty sure I missed taking some pictures of Sean and Cashlin's fighting so that number should be even higher.

Pomerantz Legacy ISBI 2.2

2015-03-10T02:27:33Z

Sorry for the quietness around here; I had a last-minute visit to Ohio and I've been working on the writing in my spare time! Let's jump right into it: last time, Cashlin and Theodora welcomed twins Aidan and Nadia into the world before obliterating their three-day-long marriage. New boyfriend Sean moved into the house, while the chicken thief moved into his very own outdoor jail!

Starting off on a sad note: the tiniest robber petting zoo is forced to close after losing its only exhibition. :'(

And then heading further downhill: Mr. Eight-Grand-In-The-Bank Sean has a job that he can't manage to wake up for...

So he flips out and nets me my first breakdown of the legacy. Snap out of it, Sean! You're supposed to be the competent one!

Theodora: Who needs that paycheck anyway? So what if you eventually lead our family to bankruptcy? I'll still love you!
Sean: Thanks, Theo. ...wait a minute...

The kids? Still cute! But now slightly more bitchy.

Cashlin: Theodora left the kids all by themselves and now a wolf is going to EAT THEM. Oh, the horror!
So... you chase it out then?

Cashlin: Ehhhhh, but... but effort...

Thankfully, evil child-eating wolf Levi eventually leaves to go watch TV with Theodora and Sean. You know, like wolves do.
Sean: Theo, I think we should have our own child!

Levi: heh good luck with that......... laffo
You okay there, dog?

But it's true, PLEASE NO MORE CHILDREN IN THIS HOUSE. THEO AGREES.

Okay, who hopped the wolf up on scooby snacks?

Sean: BOOHOOHOOOOOOOO THIS POOR LITTLE TOY JUST MAKES ME SO SAD
Sean. Please. Stability, you need some.

Cashlin helps Sean pull himself together with a timely slap!

Oh wait, they're just catfighting.

I know you two are excited about finally trying to kill each other, but can we NOT trample over Nadia's jugulars in the process?!

And the winner is... SEAN!! No surprise there! The anime hair gives him super strength!

Then he wipes the floor with Cashlin two more times for good measure. I think now's a good time to mention that I won't include pictures of every single fight that happens because it happens WAY too much in my game. The ISBI stats will be accurate, though!

Theodora: God, you're so tough and manly. Cheating on my husband with you was such a good idea!

Oh look, Sean's collapsed again for no discernable reason.

Sean: BUUUUHHHHHHHHH
He must really like making some ~sexay~ mental breakdown expressions.

And now for job news: I bought Cashlin a car so he could drive his own ass to work and stop missing his carpool.

And Theodora got back into her LTW career!

OH THANK GOD

Aidan: What's for my birthday? Do I get presents? Do I get a party?

Aidan: You guys busy now or OH MY GOD

Aidan: I SAW THINGS, NADIA. THINGS I CAN NEVER FORGET.

Hey, welcome home, Cashlin! AND PEEP THIS FAMILY BONDING THAT YOU'VE BEEN EXCLUDED FROM. HAHAHAHAHA.

What, I wasn't expecting that! YESSSSS!

NOOOO!

Cashlin comes over and coughs the plague all over his child. Nice.

Don't worry, two can play at the 'projecting bodily fluids' game!

Awwww! Look, they're playing bunny rabbit together!
Sean: Okay, say 'equilateral triangle circumradius'.

Nadia: globe
Theodora: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY
Remember: don't mention the globes, ever.

Sean: Alright then, change of subject. I've got a good one for you!
SEAN, DO NOT.

I don't think I believe that at all.

Theodora: He's in my beeeeeeeeeeeedddddddddd whiiiiiiiiiine
The struggles she has, you guys. They're SO HARD.

At least she won't have to deal with toddlers anymore! They're growing up!

Thanks for bringing her that bottle only a hundred years too late!

She actually grows up perfectly well. I'm shocked! She's also ADORABLE and she's down with Canada. Two more points in her favor!

She also knows that somewhere out there, it's Miller Time.

Her brother joins her a few hours later when he finally peels his ass off the baby mat.

Aidan's also cute! AND also had a great birthday, what the heck?

LMAO GOOD LUCK THERE. She can barely afford lunch meat half the time.

I think instead of a private education, they could just really use some friends. Aidan is obsessed with this bear here and ignores everybody else to play with it.

Nadia: WHAT. AFFECTION?

Nadia: WHAT IS THIS OMG OMG WHAT IS GOING ON WHAT

Nadia plays a stimulating game of chess while Cashlin lays around and does nothing. How did his sperm manage to accomplish this, again?

Actually, maybe Cashlin has a good reason for being there, considering his own bed is currently occupied!

Wolves: *SCANDALIZED*

Aidan: Dad, can I stay up late tonight?
Cashlin: LOLLLLLLLLLL

Cashlin: AS IF I ACTUALLY CARE TO BEGIN WITH, AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Aidan: Sweeeeeeeet!

Aidan finally puts himself to bed... at 7:27 am. Half an hour before the school bus arrives. GOOD JOB!

I was testing this mod at the time so it booted the kids right in the ass and onto the school bus. It's great, but I took it out after a day because it works a little TOO well for me.

Cashlin: WHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE OH BOY OH BOY
I mean, Cashlin actually dashing off to his job? Talk about scary.

Sean: I know that son of a bitch is in there. Just laughing at me.
Cashlin: TEEHEEHEEHEEHEE

Cashlin: LOOK WHO PULLED OUT IN FRONT OF YOU! OH NO HOW WILL YOU EVER GET TO WORK NOW
Driver: ...Do you know him?
Sean: I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT.

Finally, the first time in a long time where absolutely everyone is gone from the house. Ahhhhhh...

After her horrible ambulance job, it's great to see Theodora be successful at work again. Maybe it's because her career is so full of political intrigue like grilled cheese sandwich civil rights.

Theodora: WOOOOOOOOOO EVERYBODY TAKE A LOOK AT THIS RICH BITCH RIGHT HERE
Tree: Down with the Cheesists! Anti-Cheesism forever!!

Aidan is truly the king of annoying spazzy children. I've never had a sim kid who loves jumping SO DAMN MUCH. He'll wake up and immediately jump on the bed for five hours straight.

Then he'll get tired and pass out again. That was the extent of the exciting day he had.

Cashlin: Please... no more chess... it's six in the morning...
Nadia: QUITTERS NEVER PROSPER!

Nadia... shouldn't you go to bed too?
Nadia: Can't. Playing chess... in my mind.

Nadia: *stare stare stare*
Okay then!

Theodora: WELL LOOKIE WHO WE HAVE HERE, CASHLIN SLEEPING IN MY BED YET AGAIN! I think I'll join you!

Cashlin: HNGGG! CHEATING WHORE WIFE SENSES ACTIVATED!
Ahahahaha! Oh, kicking Cashlin out of bed this way makes me smile.

And it's vitally important that he gets the fuck out because, uh, I need Theo to get pregnant again. I know, THIS IS SUCH A BAD IDEA. BUT I HAVE REASONS.

An A already?! NERD! NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRD!

Nadia: LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK DO YOU SEE THIS GRADE RIGHT HERE SEAN THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER AND I'M NEVER WASHING THIS HAND THAT HAS TOUCHED PERFECTION
Sean: Holy shit.

Nadia: *rips face through paper* YES YES I LOVE IT SO MUCH

Unsurprisingly, this is what Aidan accomplished today. This time with more stink gas!

Looks like the nanny is already readying her backhand for this one.
Aidan: *fumigates*

Nanny: How do you expect to get into college if you're dumb and smell bad?

Aidan: UM DO WE PAY YOU FOR UNSOLICITED ADVICE, LADY??

Oh, you're tired? That's what you get for flailing around on your mattress for hours. Stupid.

NANNY, WHY? STOP ALL THE VIOLENCE. PEACE ON EARTH.

Henrietta: Charlie! Noooooooooooo!

Henrietta: Don't try to hide the evidence. I SAW WHAT YOU DID!

THEIF: Is that MY chicken statue she's kicking? HEADS WILL ROLL FOR THIS TRANSGRESSION!

THEIF: JUSTICE. IS. SERVED!

Nanny: Blarf!
Down she goes! THE GHOSTS ARE BACK, BABY!

Don't start with that face, Sean. Like you even know who she is.
Grim Reaper: If you want, I can just take you too right now. Saves me a return trip!

Theo FINALLY makes it home, along with another promotion and some rank B.O. She wasn't even supposed to go to work today, but the 'stop skilling' mod egged her on to her carpool at mach 5 speeds before I could stop her. Jokes on her for leaving because she totally missed some great ghost murder!
Cashlin: Ha! That's ironic, because SHE SMELLS LIKE DEATH. *twitch*

Theodora: OH BED, YOU FEEL SO GOOD. AND SMELL LIKE DIRT. ZZZZZZZZZZZ

But while I'm preoccupied with wrangling Theo into bed, Aidan gets scared by the ghost too, almost certainly because he was jumping on his damn bed instead of sleeping in it. Oh man...

OH MAN OH MAN OH MAN!!

+ Pomerantz ISBI Stats +

Torch-Holders:	1
LTWs Achieved:	0
Self-Wettings:	0
Pass-Outs:	0 → 1
Fires:	0
Fights:	0 → 3
Shrink Visits:	0 → 2
Repossessions:	1
Accidental Deaths:	0 → 1

Sorry for another cliffhanger, I am SO behind on editing!! And it's already been a month since I've played the Pomerantzs... where is this year going?! Thanks so much for reading, though! See you next time!

Rae-diance Lighting Mod

2015-02-24T07:48:33Z

Hay y'allz. So I'm preparing to uninstall Radiance and try Spookymuffin's lighting again, but before I take the plunge, I wanted to share my slightly-edited Radiance lighting in case anyone else wanted something a little brighter than the original. A low-effort post is perfect for a mod with an awful low-effort punny name, so this is gonna be short and sweet!

The main changes here are: brighter nighttime, brighter unlit rooms (more than the existing 'brighter unlit rooms' version), inclusion of Nightracer's seasons tweaks with minor edits, and decreased color saturation. I've included nighttime differences between my edit, Maxis lighting, and Radiance lighting, which have been left untouched so fair warning, they're pretty dark!

Nighttime with standard Maxis lighting (which Spookymuffin uses)

Nighttime with Radiance 2.4 (Brighter Unlit Rooms version)

Nighttime with Rae-diance lighting

The brighter nighttime is much friendlier to FRAPs and picture-editing, but still dark enough so it feels like proper nighttime during gameplay. I should really take pictures of the color saturation too but I'm feeling lazy, so to sum it up, all I've done there is reduced it back to the original Maxis value. (If you're not sure what I'm talking about, that's the color lighting in Radiance that makes everything in say, a red room look very red as well. If you want to fiddle with that yourself, it's called 'set roomSaturation' in the lighting.txt: 0.5 is the original Maxis value; 1.0 is Radiance's; the higher the number, the stronger the color saturation.) Okay, that's pretty much it!

| DOWNLOAD |

To install this:1. Install Radiance 2.4 if you don't have it already. You must have the full Radiance installation for this to work.
2. Go to C: > Program Files (x86) > EA Games > The Sims 2 > TSData > Res > Lights. Find the Lighting.txt file and either move it to a safe location, or rename it to something like 'BackupLighting'
3. Move my Lighting.txt into the folder. Done!

Pomerantz Legacy ISBI 2.1

2015-02-19T07:11:05Z

I got really back into my game... but I've spent most of that time downloading even more crap and fixing things in SimPE. Don't you hate it when that happens?! Last time, Theodora and strip club honey Cashlin tied the knot and made a baby, but a search around town got her Theo-Approved-Man #2, Sean.

Where were we? Oh yeah, TIME TO FIRE UP THAT BABY CHUTE! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Lady: AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW SHEEEEET
WHO? No, really. This lady just walked in off of the street.

Yahoo, first baby of the legacy! This is--

Theodora: AHEM. Gotta stop you right there. Hold this, please!
OhhhhhhhoHOHOHOHO YES. THAT'S RIGHT.

The first-generation multiples curse is still alive and well! I'm never escaping this shit! Actually, while I'm thinking about it: *immediately turns off quadruplets*

There's only two: the baby on the left is Nadia, a girl with Cashlin's hair and Theodora's eyes, while her twin is Aidan, a boy who got daddy's hair AND eyes.

Thankfully that birthing experience was really sexy for everyone involved!

But now I really need to double down and get Sean into the house! Having an extra pair of hands would be great, but really I'm looking for whatever cash he can bring in because holy shit, this family is broke as a joke right now.

He brought this old lady along with him, who is also a creepy tickler. :(

But the biggest offense?

IS THIS. OH HELL NO.

Cashlin: Why is this happening in my kitchen??
I DON'T KNOW BUT I DON'T LIKE IT!

Time to deploy the Emergency Theodora Flirt Squad!
Theodora: Um, 'scuse me grandma, but this is MY man turf you're stepping on.
Sean: Am I being fought over? :D

OH SHIT, I DIDN'T KNOW HE WOKE UP AGAIN.

Cashlin: AGAIN! AGAIN IN MY KITCHEN!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!

Well, THAT didn't take long to ruin. Ever wondered why the US's marriage failure rate is so high? That's right, my game is probably to blame.

Sean: YES!! FIGHT FOR MY AFFECTION! WIN MY FAIR HAND!

It's probably for the best. I don't think these two need to have any more kids together with those smartz in the mix.

Aidan: WHO CARES? CAN SOMEBODY COME AND CHANGE US?

LOL.

Since Cashlin bitches about having to sleep next to a dirty cheater, he gets to sleep in his own bed... outside. Beggars can't be choosers!

The next morning, the new nanny shows up. I haven't hired one for a long, long time! I'm not happy about it because the family can't even afford her, but Theodora is going to her first day of some new job and I don't trust Cashlin at all by himself.

Cashlin: zzzzz.... hate children... short smelly little bastards... zzzzzz....
As you can see.

Cashlin: Anyone mind if I eat the spare kid?
Aidan: NICE TRY, HANNIBAL LECTER

They immediately impress me by picking up the kids and cuddling with them!

Nanny: You call that cuddling? HA! YOU COULD NEVER HANDLE THE NANNY BIG LEAGUES! Step aside and let a pro handle this.

Criticism?! This offends Cashlin greatly!!

But that gives the nanny carte blanche to become a raging asshole and punt Charlie.
Cashlin: WAAAAHHHHHH STRESS EATING BWAAHHHHHHHH

She also takes it as an OK to physically assault Cashlin!

...Repeatedly.

MM-MMMMMM, I SMELL A HATEBONER COOKIN' IN THIS KITCHEN!
Cashlin: WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIIIIIIIS

Theodora: Ah, bed... you feel so good after work...
Nadia: SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAM
Theodora: YEP! SOOOOOOOOOO COMFORTABLE!

Burying your children won't make them go away, Theodora.
Theodora: No silly, I'm going TREASURE HUNTING!!!

In a kinda creepy coincidence, a chicken is buried right by her front door. It's actually worth a couple hundred bucks and I should really sell it, but... it's cute! I have to keep it!

Henrietta looks cute next to Charlie, yes?

Feast your eyes on this amazing childcare we've got going on here. Please, please, contain your jealousy.

And here's Cashlin enduring some more abuse from Psycho Nanny.

Cashlin: WHAT'S THAT OLD HAG KNOW ANYWAYS! I AM TOTALLY FUCKING AWESOME AT CUDDLING BABIES!!
Nadia: Support the heeeeeeeeeaaaad! *slides*

Cashlin: Would you look at that, my carpool is here! Gottagotoworkseeyabye!

The chump change that Theo gets from the ambulance job is nowhere near the hundreds of dollars that the nanny demands, so she takes it out on the family instead. BOOOOO! ):<

Taking the fridge so she can no longer feed her children? Totally reasonable.

She also vacuums up Cashlin's bed, which makes me laugh so hey, it evens out in the end!

Does she meet up with the matchmaker to practice those creepy-ass faces, or?

Theodora: She took OUR BED! WHINE WHINE PISS MOAN
Yeah yeah, but maybe she should turn around...

...because that same goddamn guy is back, stealing my lawn ornaments for fun because he's dead inside. It's true, just look at his face.

Theodora: I caught you red-handed this time, pal! DROP THAT BIRD!
I thought that if someone gets caught in the act of pocketing a gnome or a chicken or whatever, they would give up and drop it.

Not so here; this dude just stuffed Charlie straight up his ass and then has the audacity to be OFFENDED that Theo got mad over it. Oh yeah?

I think there are ways of solving this.
Theodora: BETCHA WISH YOU HAD A CHAIR NOW, BITCH!

Theodora: Oh, a baby! I completely forgot I had those!
Actually, me too! So they get a boring birthday out on the front lawn.

These pictures are from a few days later when I finally had a chance to take them! Sad little Nadia is freckly and adorable and really takes after Theodora! She didn't get the tilted eyes, though.

And Aidan is just boy-Nadia with different genetics. Pretty same-facey, sure, but I'm trying to worry less about having perfectly unique kids every gen and instead enjoy them being as cute as fuck.

Sean comes to visit, but Theodora is in a weird mood after work and gets upset about him touching her.

Greeeeaaaaaaat!

But it turns out that somebody doesn't like me repairing their relationship. Didn't he get a clue the first time she was macking on him?

Cashlin: I'D LIKE TO FILE A COMPLAINT ABOUT MY WIFE KISSING WHAT LOOKS TO BE HER COUSIN IN MY HOUSE.
DON'T CARE, NEED MONEY.

And money is definitely what we get! Sean brings a tidy eight grand into the house!

Cashlin: Just don't forget who rescues Charlie around here. YOU CAN'T REPLACE ME!

But the real question is: is it really that special when the robber has been corralled in the front yard all day?
THIEF: BOOHOOHOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

THIEF: I'm sorry! I swear I'll never oppose fowlkind ever again!
Too late! RETRIBUTION MUST BE HAD!

I really like Sean, because he quickly adapts to the realities of living in a first generation legacy house.

Plus: he changes diapers!

Feeds the kids!

Even makes homemade pudding! Truly, he is a man of many talents.

Compare this to lazyass Cashlin, who is in bed ALL. DAY. LONG. He won't even read or daydream, just... lay there.

Cashlin: Thanks for taking care of my children, bro! A+ job. Now how 'bout some more of that pudding?

Aidan: Hmmmm, I propose a simple test.

Aidan: DAAAAAAAAAAAD, I SHIT IN MY PANTS
Cashlin: I HAVE NO SON.

Aidan: I'M SORRY I EVER DOUBTED YOU
Poor Aidan, some people just gotta learn the hard way!

Ohhhhhh, Sean is two for two! I'm seeing a future childcare champ here!
Nadia: It almost fell on me... 8(

Cashlin: B-B-BUT BEING CHEATED ON MAKES ME INCAPABLE OF WORKING!!
Yeah, right! You know he was going to fart around in his fruit salad undies all day regardless.

Still no promotion for Theodora, but at least she's excited about barely being able to pay her bills. Oh, and she brought this dude home from work with her.

RAMPANT THEFT YET AGAIN? Super Levi is coming to the rescue!!

Fuckhead Coworker: OHHHH NO. DON'T YOU GROWL AT ME YOU HAIRY LIL BITCH
Oh god! I always see sims flee in terror from an angry wolf, but he's not even scared?!

Geez. Who pissed in your coffee mug this morning?

Luckily for him, the tiny Robber Petting Zoo is already full up.

It's a good point to end the update so I'm stopping here! I'll leave you with a very touching family moment.
Sean: I HAVE TO PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Nadia: MOMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BORRRRRRRED
Theodora: I got thirteen thousand dollars out of this. Worth. It.

+ Pomerantz ISBI Stats +

Torch-Holders:	1
LTWs Achieved:	0
Self-Wettings:	0
Pass-Outs:	0
Fires:	0
Fights:	0
Shrink Visits:	0
Repossessions:	0 → 1
Accidental Deaths:	0

Thanks for reading! :D

Hmmmm....

2015-02-19T06:56:39Z

I'll be getting a new update up in about ten minutes, but before that I wanted to ask: whatcha using for your lighting? Because I'm growing tired of Radiance but I'm not entirely sure I want to jump ship yet. I really miss the nice, bright Spookymuffin lighting though... 8(

PSA: free Imgur hosting

2015-02-09T22:53:43Z

I got an email this morning that Imgur is doing away with its paid Pro subscription service and transferring those features over to free accounts! I've used Pro for over four years now (really the only way I could use Imgur, considering I have like 9000 pictures uploaded by now) and I love it, and now it's even better because it's FREE! If you wanna read more about this, check out Imgur's blog post here!

Pomerantz Legacy ISBI 1.2

2015-02-08T04:09:23Z

A new update! Fresh from my resurrected computer! *choir of angels sings*

The first update introduced us to ISBI founder Theodora, who turned down a life of luxury with five hot library wives to dry-heave at every man in existence... except for one, Cashlin, who later invited her to go Downtown with him. THAT MEANS TRUE LOVE!

Somehow I forgot that this was going to be a group outing.

But at least it's one that spans the generations!

I took them to the P.U.R.E. club because it's basically hilarious raver hell. I redecorated part of it, but I couldn't bring myself to change the undistilled Maxis horror dance floors. They're just SO GOOD.

Also, I'm trying out ACR 2.0 for the first time so seeing these randos have dainty first kisses makes me laugh. With ACR 1, they'd already be 69-ing in the hot tub by now.

Cashlin: Don't worry, I think we can beat them there.
Um, gross?

Hey, you guys might be contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Hopefully completely unintentionally.

Thankfully, Little Girl eventually leaves to start tearing up the dance floor downstairs. Lmao.

Theodora: Gosh, your cape looks SO nice!
Vampire: Why thank you! Half off at Nosferatu'z Crazy Capez outlet!

Theodora: TOO BAD THIS LON CHANEY BITCH MAKES ME WANT TO HURL! :D
Exhibit A for Theo's polite and pleasant demeanor, folks!

STALKER.

When it was time to leave, Cashlin didn't get out of the hot tub until about a good five or six hours later, meaning the cab had to sit there and WAIT for his stupid ass instead of ditching him.

I hope that pizza burns the roof of his mouth and it peels for two days straight.
Cashlin: Well that's just mean. D:

Theodora eventually starts giving me the satan death glare for making her interact with her only current option for legacy babies. No time for regrets now, girl! You better strap in!

What's this?

THIS OLD BASTARD CAN STEAL CHARLIE?! SHENANIGANS!!!

YOU INVITED A KIDNAPPER INTO HER HOME, CASHLIN. HOW DARE YOU.

Theodora: No, I don't want to talk to anyone! I'm TRAUMATIZED!
Lady: It's only a chicken...
Theodora: TRAUMATIZED.

Theodora: Charlie :(
The next day, the chicken-napping has still gone unsolved. :(

But this will make it all better, right? Maybe?

OH I SEE. COLLUDING WITH THE CHICKEN THIEF ARE WE.

I know she didn't see who took Charlie, but I did. This is some Rear Window shit happening right now.

THIEF: HAY GUYS, DON'T MIND ME!

THIEF: I'll just be over here... enjoying the view... *lurklurklurk*
Wow, a thief AND a pervert? This guy is goin' places!

Theo and Cashlin shy-flirt until she has to leave for work.

FINALLY! It only took four days of trying to woo him.

Hey, I'm a busy person! Five whole seconds of love before popping the question is waiting long enough for me!

Cashlin: This is pretty sudden, but EH WHAT THE HELL, FREE DIAMOND, I'LL TAKE IT.

What's got Theo so upset?

Getting married on the sidewalk must be a major bummer. I wouldn't know.

OH HELLZ YES! Cashlin actually kinda lives up to his name! I can't turn down an extra five grand!

All those late bills get paid off about half an hour before the repoman was due to arrive and kick my ass. Phew!

Secondary Family Aspiration: Remember me? I'm heeeee~eeeeere! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
OH GOD...... I don't know if I'm ready for ISBI kids...

Not like I have a choice! A legacy's gotta continue somehow!

Good news: Cashlin has a job! Bad news: I have no idea what it is. I'm trying to be good and not check his stats.

Wait, hold on - I guess he's a puppeteer or ventriloquist or something? And now he's got a creepy headless dummy? He sure as hell isn't bringing THAT shit back home.

plot twist: audience is made up entirely of redditors

Meanwhile: NOOOOOOOOOOO! Didn't I do this the last time I had this card, too?! :( Sigh. Darn worms, always making me wanna save 'em.

Theodora: GUESS WHAT I DID AT WORK TODAY! I SAVED WORMS, MAYBE. YAY!

But it's all an act. I saw her true ~depression~ while she ate her ham sandwich.

Theodora: Did I really throw away my dream career over some WORMS? Wow, I suck.
Gotta agree with you there...

OH MY GOD

CHARLIE'S HOME, BABY. CHARLIE'S HOME.

Theodora: snrk OH GOD. I DREAMT I GOT MARRIED TO SOME JERKOFF FROM A STRIP CLUB.

Cashlin: Nightmares again, dear?
Theodora: oshit.

Theodora: Hi honey! Good mornnnNNNGHHBLARF

Theodora: HUAAABLAAAAGHGAAAAHAHAHGH
Aim for the bowl! AIM FOR THE BOWL!

So, impregnation: successful! But Theodora doesn't have the luxury of sitting around and gestating all day. I'm sending her out to look for a partner that's better than Cashlin!

And hold it: there are actually GOOD-LOOKING MEN ON THE PREMISES. PRAISE WILL WRIGHT.

Guy #1 Sean miraculously passes the Theodora Hotness Test.

Guy #2 Devon doesn't even register, but her lack of good judgment is no surprise to me by now.

I wanted more options, so out Theo goes to rollerskate while pregnant.

Theodora: Wheeeeeeeee!

Theodora: CHECK IT, BIYATCHES!
And she's actually really good.

She's got one fan already!

Tony: HURK! I think I felt my stomach backflip...
Oh yeah, Tony? Did I ask you? Go away.

Any hot men at the gym?
Theodora: GROSS, NO

Theodora: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Theodora: YEP YOU'RE UGLY *smile smile*

Even creepy tickling sessions won't sway her Impenetrable Vagiron. :(

SIGH. It's back to this chump then.

(Reality-breaking) BUMP!

Now that she's stuck at home, there's not much for her to do except try to befriend the local aggressive wolf, Levi.

Cashlin's favorite thing to do after work is to sidle up next to Theodora in bed and silently lay there. For hours.

It took him until 5:40 in the morning to realize that maybe he should go to sleep. ):<

I think it goes without saying that Theodora DESPERATELY needs a different man in her life.

Sean is just like Theo in that he's a ~delicate shy baby~
Cashlin: HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

Cashlin: Can I really just leave my wife at home alone with this random guy I've never even met?
Yes! It's totally safe, I promise! Heheheheh.

Theodora immediately gets hands-on and starts makin' with the backrubs.
Sean: Ahhhhhh... that feels great! Your turn!

Theodora: Um, hold on a second.

Theodora: PHEW! Sorry, gotta grow another man's baby in there!

Theodora: But aren't I so cute when I do it, though??

Theodora: WINK!
I only wish my flirting game was this good.

Oooh, I'm getting my first sign of ISBI spouse greatness: spontaneous yardwork!! Thank god!

That definitely deserves a reward!

Sean: She's sooooooooo cute teeheehee~ *hides in tree*
Theodora: *smugs heavily*
Stripper: BUT DON'T FORGET TO COME BACK TO THE CLUB AND SEE THIS SWEET ASS OF MINE!

Cashlin: EXCUSE ME. I CAN DO YARDWORK WITHOUT BEING ASKED, TOO.

Sure, but can you stop creeping on your wife long enough to get up and catch the carpool? NOPE!
Cashlin: Touché.

Oh well, at least that means he's present to witness the birthing! WHICH I AM LEAVING AS A CLIFFHANGER BECAUSE I'M MEAN. And also forgetful, because I completely forgot to include a stats list last time...

+ Pomerantz ISBI Stats +

Torch-Holders:	1
LTWs Achieved:	0
Self-Wettings:	0
Pass-Outs:	0
Fires:	0
Fights:	0
Shrink Visits:	0
Repossessions:	0
Accidental Deaths:	0

That's it from me! Thanks so much for reading! :D

Goodbye, old friend?

2015-02-05T02:57:03Z

The hard drive in my six-year-old geezer computer has officially mutinied and I'm not happy about it. >:( It's refusing to boot up my OS and while I'm suspecting physical damage, I'm hoping it's because of something that's way more salvageable.... Of course, last night I thought to myself, "gee, maybe I should do a fresh backup. NAH I'MMA GO TO BED, I HAVE PLENTY OF TIME!!"

So the bad news is that the Pomerantz neighborhood and all their pictures might be vaporized, and I have no idea when I'll get my computer into working order. The good news is that I have a new update pretty much done so I can get that up soon. And I have a phone that can handle internet now, so at least I can still post!

Moral of the story? DON'T BE ME, BACK UP YO SHIT

ETA
I didn't want to spam a million similar replies so I'll stick the update here: IT'S ALIVE! And the solution was incredibly stupid: apparently the first thing that the HP Pavilion gives power to on start-up is the little card readers... not the hard drive or CD drive or anything useful like that. So if these card readers hiccup and decide not to work, the power stops there and this brickwalls your entire boot sequence. DUMB! My dad recalled reading a post about this four years ago when he was trying to fix his own Pavilion so he axed the readers and voila, it worked. Old grandpa computer is a little touchy right now but all the data is safe and sound and newly backed-up. (if you're still putting off your latest back-up... seriously, go do it)

If anything good came out of this, it's that the new computer build list I've been waffling over creating for over a year now came together SUPER FAST. Thanks for the kick in the butt, HP!

Downloads Update

2015-01-23T22:56:28Z

I updated some of the Almassy downloads today -- jeanbunny was having some issues with them and kindly helped me troubleshoot! The changes are:

- All the gen 1, gen 2, and gen 3 sims now have proper names for their character files instead of the BodyShop-generated string. If you've had an issue where they generate in CAS with an incorrect face, this should solve it.
- Luke's eyebrows are now a better color.
- Israel has been properly de-witched so he should no longer have a broken evil witch overlay.

I think that's about it! Lemme know down below if there's any issues.

Pomerantz Legacy 1.1

2015-01-23T06:51:03Z

Can't you just breathe in that delicious NEW LEGACY SMELL? If you're not familiar with the I'm Surrounded By Idiots challenge, check out the rules here. Otherwise, let's begin!

Welcome to Belladonna Ridge, my new legacy neighborhood that I spent way too long making! The old neighborhood did pretty well (considering all the horrible death and destruction it was subjected to) but it's old and slow and crappy and really, I needed a new one BADLY.

The founder of the Pomerantz family line is Theodora, who is as blissfully ignorant as I am about just how horrible ISBIs can get. Her appearance is the only thing I got to customize; I randomized everything else! So, what are we working with here?

Theodora Pomerantz
Fortune/Family - Become a Space Pirate (YES)
9 : Neat
1 : Shy
1 : Lazy
4 : Serious
6 : Nice
Straight
Turn-ons: Full-face makeup, logical
Turn-offs: Creativity

At first I was all excited about rolling a fortune/family sim, but now I'm not so sure. She COULD be blissfully easy to take care of, but she could also end up screaming about how she needs thirty grandchildren while she panhandles in the road. Tough call!

After having two legacies with founders squatting around outside, I want my cute legacy shack!

What do you mean, life necessities? SORRY, CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE TINY ADORABLE LEGACY SHACK

Her last few pennies get scraped up to buy her only friend, Chickenfeed Charlie. Garden gnomes are great but you know those poor bastards always get pocketed in like the first five minutes on a legacy lot. Who'd actually want to steal her overall-wearing chicken?

Yeah, whatever Theodora. You know that sixty bucks went to a way better purchase than food.

And Charlie is a chicken of many talents! No other lawn ornament has the guts to do some BACKWARDS ROOF DIVING!
Theodora: Woooooooooooooooo!

EA sez: did YOU remember to properly reskin your animations today?

Theodora: OH GOD, I THOUGHT ACID FLASHBACKS WERE A LIE!

It took me about five seconds to decide that I really didn't want to wait around for the welcome wagon, so I booted her off the lot to be proactive and hunt down her own men!

How about at the Indigo Club (slyndsey)? I love this lot!

Theodora: Oooooooh... I could get used to this.
Dancers: *confusingly grind in background*

Sorry that you only just now decided he's ugly after you spent five minutes waist-deep in his crotch!

I hate to break up the solo hot tub party, but antisocial founders don't exactly get around to makin' the babies. She needs to lure in some potential spouses using her (nonexistent) DJ SKILLS!

Theodora: THIS PHAT BEAT IS FOR YOU, GRANDPA SWEATER

That's right, girl. Drop some bolts on those motherfuckers.

Nah, it's just the resident evil witch named Madeline, who is SO FREAKING CUTE. I LOVE HER.

I tell Theodora to go outside and greet her, but she keeps getting distracted and starts repeatedly complimenting everyone. I'm not used to having an aggressively nice sim in this game.
Theodora: GRANDPA DID I TELL YOU HOW GREAT YOUR HAIR IS? WELL LET ME DO IT AGAIN

Theodora: And you are so wonderful for pouring torrential rain all over me!
Madeline: Heh, thanks! 'S what I do.

Theodora: BUT DO NOT. MENTION. GLOBES. TO ME. EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Gee, what a perfectly normal reaction to have. Do I have a asshole sim in disguise already?

Theodora: Oh gosh, sorry, I don't know what came over me there. How about I compliment you five more times!!
Oh. False alarm!

She is then forcibly dragged to a restaurant so she can quit it with the pushy compliments. She's on a MISSION here.

Now the problem is, there are ONLY women on the lot. Really, game?

Well, except for this one guy, who likes to walk around looking vaguely smug everywhere.

Theodora: SLURP
I know free water refills are really great, but how about you actually get up and greet him?

She doesn't think he's that great.

Plus he beats up on old people.

But don't worry, he definitely receives his three compliments in a row!

Theodora collects the bills from the mailbox all by herself. Is she expecting to pay them right NOW?

Because I don't think that's going to happen.

The welcome wagon never shows up. Maybe because I made Theodora leave the lot beforehand? :S Because of that, the rest of her first day is pretty uneventful! She gets greeted by a friendly wolf...

...then carries the kindness over to Charlie...
Theodora: YOU FUCKIN' CHICKEN

...then chugs milk at 2AM in her rad unicorn jammies. That's all she eats. She refuses to do any cooking.

But she did change it up later by drinking this can of corn!

Theodora: I CAN GET ANY MAN I WANT WITH MY ~SKILLZ~, WATCH
NO DEMO NECESSARY, I TOTALLY BELIEVE YOU.

In better news, her LTW career is amazingly the first thing available in the paper! That's not too bad of a start for an ISBI, right?

Theo doesn't skimp on looking good, even if she has to take the beat-up clunker to work.

After her first day at work, she heads off to the gym for some manmeat.

Theodora: BUT NOT THIS ONE, WOW U UGLY

It's mostly to steal a shower for free, though!

Here's the enticing array of men she gets to choose from on this lot. HMMMMMMMMMMMM.

Theodora: NO NO NO NONE OF THESE GUYS WILL DO

Theodora: Will I ever find love? *wibble*
Oh, sure you will, honey. And I know just the place!

DON'T DENY IT, I HAVE FOUND MANY IMPORTANT THINGS AT STRIPCLUBS OK. Anyway, once upon a time there was a little establishment called Poles n' Holes, and it's received an upgrade!

Bartenders: OH HOLY SHIT AN ACTUAL WOMAN
This is totally newsworthy because 99% of the people who hang out here are lonely men or third-graders.

Theodora: Oooh, a bar! I think I'll be naughty and order a soda!!!
*PEARLS CLUTCHED*

To further prove my point about women in this club, this guy over-enthusiastically fistpumps at the sight of Theodora. THE DROUGHT IS OVER!
Grandpa Sweater: :(

Oh really?

Hey, at least she finally thinks SOMEBODY is attractive, but I'm gonna be a picky bastard and say she could totally do better. Meh.

If only this guy was available! Tony here is the sim I've been using to set up this neighborhood and I've gotten pretty attached to him! But player character, against the rules, yadda yadda. :( Also Theo thinks that he's super ugly. I hope you're getting an idea of her bad taste in men.

She also thinks the bootylicious hot stripper is gross. :(

Stripper: whatcha doin'?

Since Theodora isn't allowed to ask him about his finances, I'm reduced to nitpicking their entire conversation about money to see if he's secretly loaded.
Strip Clubber: Money? Oh yes, I have SAFES full, trust me.

Theodora: HAHAHAHAHAAAAAHHAAAHA YEAH RIGHT but no, really?

Lightning strikes twice!

Theodora books it to the dark side of the building to pay Madeline some "compliments".

But back inside, Theo's attention is still all focused on this guy. Fine fine, they can have a date!

Not two seconds later this hot guy walks in, but then is immediately sucked into the Black Hole of Pole and won't pay attention to anything Theodora tries to do. SIGH. )8

So the date is going pretty well when Theodora rolls up this want. She's not really playful or mean in the slightest so I don't know why she wants to tease him, BUT I'mma humor her and let her do it anyway.

Theodora: KERSPLASH!

Theodora: Teeheehee! Picking on him is actually kinda fun!
Redhead: zomg how could you!!!!!

But does he like that gesture? Nope.

He REALLY doesn't like it.

Strip Clubber: LOL HAY THERE DATE WHO ASSAULTED ME WITH A WATER BALLOON!
Theodora: IT WAS JUST A PRAAAAAAAAANK BAAAAAAAAAW!

Yeah sure, you fucking liar.

She has her very uneventful first kiss with him anyway.

Now I finally understand her dating thought process!

Round five for picking up dudes is at the library!

JUST TO LET YOU SEE HOW MANY HOT TOWNIES ARE HERE THAT THEODORA DOESN'T WANT TO FUCK.

Oh, and the one token guy, who Theo is completely uninterested in of course!

They all quickly assemble on the stage in the presentation room and stay there the entire time. I think I just found the secret chapter of the Hot Babes of Belladonna Ridge Association.

Theodora: Drinking espresso in a library is very ~distinguished~
All she gets out of it is a bad case of the jitters, though...

Madeline: Heeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyy!
I think I get it by now, Madeline. You can stop.

I used Theo's first paycheck to buy her a toaster oven, and despite the tradition of hundreds of founders before her burning down their kitchen, she successfully makes her crappy TV dinner. Score!

Theodora: I BET CHARLIE IS SO PROUD OF ME

The glory doesn't last very long.

At least Theodora is kickin' ass in the job department! She needs those cash bonuses so badly!

Theodora: Okay, let's see. Bills, fuck that, more bills, fuck that too...

Theodora: Aw yeah, HERE'S the important stuff!
It's a love letter from Strip Clubber? Barf.

Yeah, I need some different sources of men. Time to initiate: MY SECRET PLAN.

A quick call to the pizza place gets her 1) a man, 2) a handsome, ~ALIEN-EYED~ man, and 3) delicious pizza.

Can you guess which one Theo likes best?

Theodora: Thank you for driving twenty miles out here! Have one whole dollar!
Hot Alien Delivery Guy was surprisingly gracious about Theodora's shitty tip, but then he immediately took off afterwards so she couldn't interact with him! WHY.

Theodora: Who would bother me when I have a whole pizza to eat by myself???? *attractively scratches pits*

SURPRISE! Guess I should start referring to him by his actual name, Cashlin.

Looks like somebody got over that water balloon real fast.

Okay Theo, get out there and charm somebody's pants off, literally!

Theodora: *SEXXX FACE MODE ENGAGED*

Townie: 'Sup. Just stopping by to let you know that I'm super hot, yet unwanted by your founder. :D
Seriously, her walkbys are only the hottest female townies around. Unfair. Anyways, NEXT TIME: Theodora's exciting Downtown adventure and her ensuing descent into failure! Thanks for reading, and see you then!

Almassy Legacy Awards

2015-01-14T02:07:36Z

I'M SO EXCITED THAT I FINALLY GET TO DO THIS!! If you haven't seen this before, it's basically an old awards show meme thing from legacy_writers. (You can find the template for it in this post!) It's a fun excuse to go back through old families and legacies and reminisce on everything they did, good AND bad.

As a heads-up, there's lots of blabbering and LOTS of pictures underneath the cut, but I don't think that's anything new at this point. Shall we?

Biggest Asshole:

You mean I have to pick only ONE?!

The lucky winner of this award is Liam, for 1) being inventive with his assholery and 2) being one of my faves so he gets to have something special, unlike the rest of that gaggle of dickheads. Some of his best-ofs:

Being a stupid and mean child who became a stupider, meaner teenager!

Hooking up with a ton of dormies, just to get them all to cheat on each other!

Marrying two women at once, and then kicking wife #1 Indra's ass until the end of time after their marriage imploded!

(he didn't even care when wife #2 Akiko died lmao)

And of course, passing on those shitty asshole genes!

Seriously, getting a clown party in honor of your death is probably not a good sign.

Biggest Sweetheart:

I would have to say definitely June, what a woobie! She was a saint to her family (for the most part), which included fawning over Claus and joining a llama cult to resurrect Parvati. When her useless old geezer husband died, she carried on raising five kids all by herself.

Most Spectacularly Stupid:

Oooooh, that's a tough one!

Akiko was pretty dumb for somehow being unable to feed herself for two days, before finally starving to death in a hallway that HAD A FRIDGE IN IT.

BUT CAN ANYONE BEAT QUEEN ANNIE IN THIS CATEGORY? I DON'T THINK SO

So beautiful, yet SO STUPID. I still can't believe she couldn't stay alive for literally the final two days of the legacy.

Most Successful:

Honestly, this was the last one I answered because it was so depressingly difficult. LOL.

I'm not happy rewarding Joseph because he ended up annoying the crap out of me, BUT he did complete his LTW in his adulthood while the others pretty much took their sweet time and hit it as elders. Plus, he won me fifty grand and free money goes over real well with me!

Biggest Failure:

THIS IS GOING TO FREY. NO QUESTION ABOUT IT.

Frey "Mommy Issues" Almassy spent his formative years being a fucking crying wreck and failing to make any friends.

This snowballed once he went to college and somehow was still completely incapable of normal human interaction. Of course this meant he was destined to be heir!

He dropped out of college and returned home to 'work on' his LTW (which was 'have twenty best friends', AHAHAHAHAHAHANO)... oh, and to immediately BANG HIS STEP-MOTHER.

Frey failed so hard at finding a spouse that I had to alien-impregnate him in order to squeeze some freaking kids out of him. He rewarded me with QUADRUPLETS before unceremoniously dying of sun exposure.

Other accomplishments included becoming a shitty werewolf, never getting a job, never completing his LTW, and becoming a critically-panned novelist in only half an hour. He was a damn PRO.

Biggest Alcoholic:

Claus! Nothing like starting at eight years old!

Biggest Whore:

I guess technically this should go to Violet, because she did successfully screw twenty different people including the maid, the mailman, her college's coach, her college professor, plus Poppy's college professor/future husband.

Really though, I think special consideration should go to the runner-up, Guy.

Here is Professor Guy, hitting up Rain all the way back in ye olde college days...

...before fucking Violet (Almassy Sister #1) in the nasty dorm photobooth...

...then later shacking up with and marrying Poppy (Almassy Sister #2)...

...before remembering how much of a hottie Rain (Almassy Sister #3) was and banging her in the hot tub!

By the time he and Rain started having an affair, he just did not give a fuck who was there to see it. Oh, and he also ended up impregnating Rain later with two daughters (River and Wendy). Here's to you, Guy: the biggest manwhore!

Most Disgusting:

SHIMA SHIMA SHIMA SHIMA

No one could ever match her love for eating garbage, her constant farting, and her eternal stinkiness. Even worse, she passed on her abysmal fucking neatness points for generations! Good thing I like her so much.

Most Stylish:

I guess I'd pick... Rocio? I always thought she was adorable!

Craziest:

HA! Trick question, they're all crazy. ...BUT I guess I have to give this one to wonderful dingbat Georgia!

Most Untimely Death:

There was lots and LOTS of premature death, but the one that sticks out to me is heiress Parvati dying pre-Resurrect-O-Nomitron.

Most Frustrating:

I'm giving this to Twojeffs' Triplets & Quads for always giving me ten thousand kids exactly when I didn't need them!

Ghost murder was a very, VERY close second but seeing as how most of the rampant death and destruction was pretty funny to me, I think it kind of balanced out.

Biggest Lulz Bringer:

It's a two-way tie between Liam and Israel!

Liam was super fun to play, of course!

But sucky Israel also provided tons of laughs! Rereading his gen's updates makes me remember all the stupid and FUN things he used to do and just knowing that something hilarious would be waiting for me every time I started up my game.

Most Loving Parent:

Claus was a great daddy, grandpa, AND great-grandpa!

Most Neglectful Parent:

Georgia, who barely paid attention to any of her kids and outright antagonized one of them!

Infant neglect!

Child neglect!

Straight-up bitch-slapping neglect! You want bad parenting? She's got it!

No child is ever too old for Georgia to beat up!

The family that fights together, is tight together! Or something like that.

Special acknowledgment goes to the three Gen 9 heirs (Paloma, April, and Drew) for managing to have social services take away their children a whopping SIXTEEN TIMES.

Best Teaser:

Lots of the funny teasers were good, but I always was pretty fond of this one. It was fun to make AND I really like how it turned out!

Best Caption:

Okay, I tried to find something to put here but it's tough to pick just one thing from 60+ updates, plus I'm a dork who laughs at all of her own jokes anyway. TOO HARD. Instead, here's my favorite picture I ever made for this legacy:

THIS STILL MAKES ME LAUGH EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT

Best Storyline:

The most ridiculous soap opera drama to happen had to be Luke and Yuzuki's ~forbidden love~!

...AND SO ON AND SO ON AND SO ON

Luke was always a very faithful and loving husband to Ayako. But when Yuzuki came into the picture to start making the third generation, things between her and Luke got a weeeeee bit... suspicious. Namely that they were really up each other's asses for being in-laws and would stalk and fawn over each other all day. Don't forget the many, many 'family kisses' they shared!

However, despite it being completely obvious that they were attracted to each other, they refused to do anything about it. So I gave up and pushed them together! FREE LOVE!

This was not a well-received decision.

CUE ABSOLUTELY ENORMOUS FAMILY-WIDE BRAWLORAMA. THESE BITCHES FOUGHT LIKE CRAZY. It was warfare on a level I'd never had in the game and it was magical. Luke and Yuzuki just carried on together while the rest of the household thirsted for their blood.

Luke and Ayako were kiiiinda able to patch up their marriage before she died, and it wasn't long before he followed her... but it was Yuzuki who had his final thoughts.

As for Claus and Yuzuki, their marriage just went to shit and stayed there. Then she somehow died from the bubonic plague. The end!

Cutest Toddler:

girl: Georgia

boy: Orion

Cutest Child:

girl: Madrine

boy: Drew

Hottest Teenager:

girl: April...

...and Sable

boy: Ryan...

...and Drew

Hottest Adult:

girl: Georgia

boy: Claus...

...and Liam

Hottest Elder:

girl: Violet

boy: Orion

Overall Ugliest:

Isaiah :(

'Ugly' is way too harsh for him; he just wins this one by virtue of just looking kinda weird. It's the nose thing.

It's worse when you compare him to his hottie twin brother, Isaac. Sorry, Isaiah! :(

Biggest Turnaround (ugly to attractive, or attractive to ugly):

ugly-->cute: Candace

Poor Candace! I really did NOT like her face as a toddler. Again, she wasn't so much ~ugly~ as just really awkward-looking. Georgia's tiny, squinched features didn't play well on Candace's face.

As an adult though: BAM! MEGA HOTTIE. I will never call her 'Cro-Magnon' ever again.

cute-->ugly: Isaiah

Isaiah didn't always look that weird! Puberty was just not nice to him, I guess!

Best Spouse:

UGGHHHHH THIS WAS HARD.

I'm going with my silly goose Calhoun because 1) he was actually really helpful around the house and it was tough to have him die, 2) he somehow managed to fall in love with Georgia AND forgive her for cheating, and 3) despite all the drama he was involved in, he never annoyed me or made me hate him. He was really fun and I still kinda miss him. ):

Best Non-Family Character:

Tough, but I gotta pick my favorite Bartender.

It was love at first crotch-fondling sight!

Best Non-Human:

The Grim Reaper!

He loves death and trashy TV almost as much as I do.

Best Ghost:

I added this category just so I could give it to crazy Koko.

So murderous, and yet so fun!

Best Pet:

I'm gonna totally cheat on this because I can't choose: Wilford wins Best Cat and Arthur wins Best Dog!

Best Couple:

Israel & Shima and Orion & Fae were awesome and I adore them both! But...

...yeah, I'm totally giving this to Candace & Belle! Even death couldn't stand in the way of their TRUE LOVE!

Best Non-Heir:

YUP CANDACE IS PRETTY GREAT

But Rain also deserves a mention for being just so damn helpful during the sixth generation. She was taking care of EVERYBODY'S kids, even when she wasn't thrilled about it. Easily one of the most productive spares!

Best Heir:

Liam!
He had beautiful children, completed his LTW, and gave me endless amounts of entertainment. You can't ask for better!

Overall Best Sim:

There's only one possible answer for this one.

To Georgia and Frey, for being the most bizarre and yet the most fun sims I could have ever wanted in my game. I love these guys.

Almassy Legacy [10.5]: The End

2014-12-23T03:47:50Z

THE ALMASSY LEGACY
Episode LXXIV
THE END

Four years ago, Luke Almassy took it upon
himself to create a family legacy, unleashing
ten generations of unrepentant and incompetent
assholes across the suburb of South Sedona.

Under siege by ghosts, bad parenting,
and the CPS, the Almassys now struggle
to make it to the end of the legacy.
Times are dark for the family.
Oh, and Orion and Annie also slept
with each other, that was pretty weird.

However, there is a force in the
universe that is determined and stupid
enough to see this family through to the end.
The fact that this force finds the Almassys'
misery hilarious really helps a lot.

Will the Almassys live on to spread their name?
Will the game succeed in screwing them over?
Will the mysterious force continue these
pointlessly vague references to herself?
Find out, on the thrilling conclusion of The Almassy Legacy....

I mean, maybe it's good, I don't know.
I'm just a disembodied voice.

I MANAGED TO FINISH THIS IN TIME! IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE! Hello and welcome to the very last update, which is sure to be a very serious and classy affair. I know I've already got my smoking jacket and my pipe on! If you want a link to the last update, it's here... otherwise, let's continue!

Good news! The teens are just as unnaturally smiley as when we left them!

But I'm sure those good spirits won't last once some ghost goes bananas and starts killing them off.
Naomi: PSSSHH! We've got hormones and shit! Let those ghosties try and mess with us now!

But you know what? She's right! That was the first night in a long time that no one was scared.

Ruben: NO VIOLENCE?? BUT I CAN'T STAND THAT WAAAAHHHHHHHHH

Don't worry! These two will gladly fill the gap!

I think Mars is secretly half-turkey. If he drowns in the rain, we'll have our answer!

Orion: Wheeheeheeeeeeeee!
Orion may be the babiest baby, but he's MY baby!

One night, I finally got a clue and decided I was done putting up with the broken bed script that's been pestering me. First things first: sell off every single bed to figure out which one is the culprit. And all these beds here are just the ones from storage. The things I do to keep my ghosts happy and (mostly) non-murderous!

Indra: Excuse me, but did someone just. sell. my. BED? That's been rotting away in storage for years, unused? HOW DARE YOU!!!!

Up next is a delightful bonfire, fueled by all the chairs from the house!

Yeah, I don't think that's a good idea.

Sable and Damian: BEDS FOR THE BED GOD! CHAIRS FOR THE CHAIR THRONE!
Naomi is boring though and has no interest in doing wacky bonfire dances. ):<

Liam: Can't believe it... got rid of my bed... *fume fume fume*
Orion: Oh, hi grandpa. I thought you'd be more mad about us selling the ballet barre!
Liam: WHAT

Liam: BOOGABOOGABOO
Sable: OOPS, MY BOWELS :D
Naomi: See what happens when you do bonfire dances? Ghost murder.

Thanks a lot, Liam. ):

Orion: OOH, I'VE GOT A CASE OF THE VAPORS!

Thankfully, the dramatics are cut short by Damian's save! And because I left out Grim's default and he needs less screentime.
Grim Reaper: My last appearance and THIS is how I'm treated?

Liam: AND ONE FOR YOU TOO!

Antony, I love you and everything, but WHY?

Whaaaat, it WASN'T tasty? I know somebody who'd disagree with you.

YOU LIL' BASTARD <3 If only he was real!

Zubin: GASP! I had a terrible nightmare! My entire family was sleeping outside near garbage, like uncouth--

Zubin: --oh....... ohhhhhh.

Zubin: ...I'll just be going back to bed now.
Don't hate! It's a free country, you can sleep in the middle of the road as much as you want!

Driver: HONK HONK HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK
Plus, wouldn't our forefathers want us to piss off the carpool drivers as much as humanly possible?

Of course, if there's one problem with roughing it outdoors, it's potentially having your brains eaten by roving zombies. Them's the breaks!

Sable: OH HELL NO! I don't care if you're technically family, you can shuffle off back to wherever the hell you came from!
Zubin: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YOU GOT TOLD

Antony: *judgmental dog stare*
Belle: Okay, geez! Sorry! I didn't know you felt so strongly about this!
Bye, Belle! Thanks for randomly showing up to terrorize the family!

Drew is angry about absolutely nothing. My thoughts too bb

Caleb: Ruben, you really need to do your homework. I could show you how--

Ruben: LOL PLEASE YOUR F-MINUS ASS DOESN'T NEED TO TEACH ME SHIT

Oh god! Caleb's finally snapped!

And Mars is bearing the brunt of his fury!

Caleb: Yeah, well, no more Mr. Nice Caleb.
Good luck with that! Because that definitely doesn't change your -0.5 GPA.

In more productive news, Orion actually managed to squeak in one last completed LTW!

Not what I was expecting the new head of the CIA to be wearing, tbh. Was it casual friday at work, buddy?

Orion: Doesn't anybody care about my promotion?
Yeah, they're just a little distracted there...

Newspaper Girl: GOOD MORNING, RUBAZUBE!!
See? Even this lady can't keep them straight.

Caleb: The newspaper girl didn't say hi to ME. It must be Mars' fault!!

After all the kids went off to school, I looked around for Annie and found her tucked away in a little corner of the house next to this crappy little xylophone. And what is she doing there?

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

Okay, I know what it says you're doing, but please tell me otherwise.
Annie: I'm playing with the xylophone!
By... sitting there and not touching it....
Annie: Yup!

So she sat there for hours. H O U R S. GIRL, WHO ARE YOU EVEN PLAYING WITH!!

Naomi: Should I even ask?
NO.

The elevator picks this time to crash and break again, with Mars and Owen inside of it. Hey, Naomi was the last person in that thing so maybe I'd be a liiiiittle suspicious.

But they live to annoy me another day ~~unfortunately~~!

Mars: Um, I can't seem to get up to the second floor.
And you don't know why this is??? Goddamn. Sims have the memory span of a goldfish sometimes.

Whatever, moving on! Rhubarb and Zubaz are FINALLY growing up and joining the other kids in teenhood. They're not as enthusiastic as I am about it, though...
Rubazube: *bored cake pondering*

Rubazube: *bored insta-puberty*
Oh come on!

Zubin: Look, brother! Puberty is so much fun!
Ruben: Okay, I changed my mind. This birthday IS TOTAL SHIT.
Mars: *off-screen titty pinch*

There, that's more like it. Didja really think they'd be able to hide their true cheery/bitchy selves?

Except wait, Ruben is struck by sudden ANGST for no reason. At least his dad had one (OMG CRUISE LINERSSss!!!)

Ruben: Constant bitchslapping? Yeah, I'm cool with this.

Ruben: BUT BLOWING ASS AT MY BIRTHDAY PARTY?!! YOU WILL PAY DEARLY

And so their party devolves into another brawlorama...

Naomi: Fighting is boring. Why don't we go out to a club? :3

YES! I 100% AGREE WITH THIS IDEA!
Ruben: YO BYE BITCHES

These tools need to stop fighting and enjoy the lovely goth club I've dragged them to! Which they're not dressed for or anything. Good thing cover charges don't exist in Simslandia.

Here, have a Sable beauty shot for your time and pleasure!

Sable: HAY CAN A GIRL GET A DRINK
Bartender: Sure! ...I think...

Except not, because Bartender is currently distracted by teen brawls!

Oops, eat shit, Caleb.

Vampire: Hmph. Teaches me to bet on a teenager in a dead pool. :|

But she'll forgive him! Ladies totally love uncontrollable mantears!

WELCOME TO YOUR NEW HOME, YOU DRUNKS

Ohhhhh, Zubin Zubin Zubin. He has this total wholesome, eager beaver vibe to him that is really not conducive to pulling off underage drinking.

Cradle robber at six o' clock!
Zubin: Oh dear.

Zubin: SABLE, THIS LADY IS ATTEMPTING TO DANCE WITH ME

Caleb: CRY CRY CRY BUT SHE DOESN'T WANT TO WITH MEEEEEEEE!
They've only been here for an hour but Caleb's already broken down crying four times.

LMAOOOO PLEASE STOP THIS BRADY BUNCH SHIT. AND RUBEN'S LOOK OF DISAPPOINTMENT IS KILLING ME

Zubin: Of COURSE I am old enough to be back here!

Zubin: I'll prove it to you! Let's ARM-WRESTLE!
Bartender: You know what? That's okay.

What's everyone else up to? Owen went off to do some dweeb shuffle all by himself on the dance floor...

...while Damian has been patiently waiting to bake those iced cookies for THREE HOURS NOW.

Caleb gave up on trying to dance and just jumped all over the furniture like he snorted five pixie sticks.

And here come his adoring fans to slap the shit out of him!
Caleb: JUST COME UP HERE AND CATCH ME MOTHAFUCKAAAAAAAAS

Mars: DUDE I JUST REALIZED, I AM PROBABLY AN ALIEN
Naomi: LOL NO WAI
GIRL WHAT ARE YOU DOING BEHIND THE BAR TOO

Oh god, Crump alert! Time to split!

Zubin and Damian: HI GRANDPA! WE HAD FUN AND WE DEFINITELY DON'T SMELL LIKE BOOZE!

Then Caleb is attacked by wolves. I bet this guy is gonna end up like Belle's dad in Beauty and the Beast.

Hey, it's Parvati! How's it hanging, Parv?
Parvati: Not too bad! Uh, don't look over at the bed.

LMAO REALLY ANNIE? Oh my god. I'm not resurrecting her yet AGAIN when it's so close to the end of the legacy. Sorry, she gets to stay dead!

It's not like anybody cares either way!
Everyone: POOL PARTYYYYYYYYYY!

Sable is almost an adult, so I think it's time to wrap things up!

Drew and Damian: HUFF HUFF HUFF DELICIOUS TURKEY SCENT~~

Yep, I went full sappy nerd for this shit. They get to have a nice turkey family dinner together and they are going to LIKE IT!

They proceeded to have an actually civil and adorable dinner eating ~~Mars' dad~~ tasty turkey. Dear real life, I'm making a turkey dinner for sixteen people on Thursday so if I could just pull that out of my ass sims-style, that would be GREAT.

That dinner was so cute, it almost made me forget about their ridiculous tantrum-throwing and flower-stomping.

Oh, and the sloppy-ass projectile food flinging! Yeah, it's really time for them to leave!

So now they're moving on to the endless dark void of space. I mean college.

Yes! Quick, before I change my mind! :(

Mars: You mean I have to go to college? And SUCCEED? UH I'M NOT READY FOR THIS

Too bad, off you go! Bye Mars! You were kinda alright!

Following him are all the other middling kids. April makes sure to stand outside in her underwear for maximum embarrassment! Note that Damian isn't shown because I completely missed him getting into the cab.

That leaves over my top three kids! Which Ruben and Zubin celebrate with surprise twincest. Okay then, you guys.

I can't choose between them! Rubazube gets to share second place as my favorite! They were surprisingly entertaining and would've been real contenders for heir if they weren't both Drew clones.

I think it's no surprise to learn that Sable would've been MY pick for heir, though! I've adored her from day one! So, she gets to have the final goodbye from the family.

OR DOES SHE?
Yep, four crashes later, Sable just cannot make that dumb phone call to college and I have no idea why. Even Windows itself wants this legacy to suffer.

I rarely use this thing but I am SO GLAD IT EXISTS. This means no teary goodbye from the family, but at least she won't be stuck there at the house for the rest of eternity!

Off they go to live out their wildest dreams and/or die horribly!

Yeah, I think they'll do juuuuust fine. :)

-------------------------------------------

Epilogue (?)

Instead of doing a whole spare update, I'm sneakin' this in here right at the end! I finally stopped ignoring Candace and Belle enough to go play them and set up their adorable undead engagement.

And I mean adorable! Even better, their wedding was at the same chapel where mom Georgia had her's all those years ago. I KNOW. IT'S SO SCHMOOPY AND I HAVE A PROBLEM.

It was a small wedding, because ~~I screwed up the community lot wedding~~ everyone was still a little peeved about Belle's fly-by-night brain-snatching incident.

Candace: Our cake has a secret ingredient! Can you guess what it is?
Belle: THE FLESH OF THE INNOCENT?! THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER! *SCARF*

As for the kids, they get to rot in college... except for Sable! She's off for greener pastures, literally!
Canhead: please don't leave me here with them. PLEASE. TAKE ME WITH YOOOOOUUUUU

She gets the privilege of leaving this hellhole and spreading her wild Almassy oats somewhere else! She may not be able to become heir, but getting the hell out of here is a much better prize! Bye Sable, hope to see ya soon!

SO. It's bittersweet to see this legacy finally finished, which is something I never thought I'd think about a glorified video game fanfiction I post online... but writing this, reading all your wonderful comments, and getting to laugh over this game's antics is something I've been doing for four years now and it's been a blast for me. So really, thank you guys. It was WAY more work than I expected but you all made it worth it from start to finish.

If you'd like to download any of the gen 10 kids, they're now up on the downloads page! WHICH ALSO NOW FEATURES ACTUALLY FINISHED ALMASSY FAMILY TREES.

As for my future plans? First I'm going to be enjoying a nice holiday break, and then I think I'll start working on something new: an ISBI and a ten generation DITFT. Hopefully they'll be fun to play because I'm really itching to get started! See you then!! :D

THANK YOU FOR READING!

Almassy Legacy [10.4]: A Good Day to Die Hard

2014-12-01T05:17:23Z

Hey, sorry for the long, unannounced break. Me and the legacy, we separated for a bit, started seeing other people, you know the whole deal... dumb analogies aside, taking a break and playing the game for fun really helped! Plus, I managed to get my next legacy neighborhood pretty much squared away and I LOVE IT.

Do I HAVE to recap that last shitstorm?! Okay, okay: the hilariously overpowered ghost army living in the backyard continued their deadly rampage, killing off Paloma's boyfriend Phillip as well as summoning social services no less than SIX TIMES. In honestly sad news, Fae died way sooner than I thought she would, yet Annie still lives. Life is unfair! She also got pregnant (again) and gave birth to twins (AGAIN).

Here are the twins. The twins are terrible. :(

Their only saving grace is that they're obsessed with each other and always huggle ten times in a row! Saves me from having to find ways to entertain their whiny asses.

(okay they can also be pretty cute, so sue me)

Ruben? Zubin?: Muddy sidewalk? IS NOT A BED, PEOPLE.
Come on, suck it up! Rain builds character!

Don't worry, all the previously existing kids are beautiful, precious angels!

Paloma: OH HOLY FLAMING ANUS!!
What the HELL? Paloma was cooking, everything was nice and surprisingly peaceful, when all of a sudden her corner of the kitchen just ERUPTED into flames.

TS2.exe: HOT ENOUGH IN THERE FOR YOU?! AHAHAHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

RED ALERT! ALL HANDS ON DECK! YOU GUYS BETTER SAVE MY PALOMA!

But as soon as she's sprayed off, she gets reignited. This fire is taking NO prisoners!
Maid: Stop, you're getting burning skin everywhere! THIS ISN'T IN MY JOB DESCRIPTION!

Maid: HEY! HEY, GET IN HERE AND HELP US, PLEASE!
Orion: hold your horses there i got water in my ears

Orion: Oh hold on, gotta take this. HELLO? Harley? You won't believe what's happening over here!!

Well, she's finally not on fire anymore. Is it the heat stroke that's gonna get her?

NO! STARVATION WINS OUT! STARVATION GOES ALL THE WAY TO THE FINALS!!

Orion: Woah, move over dead daughter, there's a HOT LADY IN MY GENERAL VICINITY!

So that all happened in about THREE MINUTES. I'M SCARRED FOR LIFE NOW. At least Annie managed to save Paloma...

You know what's appropriate after somebody gets barbequed in the kitchen? A child's birthday party!
Sable: Er... I'm nervous to blow out the flames now...

Sable: AH, SCREW IT. MAMA NEEDS A HOT NEW TEEN BODY!

Sable is still a slayer this generation, shocker! She rolled Family and Knowledge.

Why the pissface?

That would be because of Owen screaming at the other end of the house. HAHAHA! Sable understands me.

Unfortunately, ghost murder is just as inevitable as Owen's whining. One of the ghosts scared Caleb to death not once, but AGAIN right after. REALLY? The ghosts sure are fucking dedicated to the bladder failure of every sim in this house. (Or maybe that's just Maxis in general)

Just in case you needed more evidence that the ghosts are cheap as hell!

Caleb: Phew! Exploding your bowels sure builds up an appetite!

Orion: TOOT TOOT! TIME TO WAKE THE HELL UP!
But the Anti-CPS Alarm fails and Caleb can't stop falling unconscious long enough to finish eating... D:

April: I'm not a bad mom...! I love these kids...

April: Is that approach not working? Okay then. *SOUL-CRUSHING GLARE*
Social Worker Lady isn't easily intimidated, though! That Business Hair gives her nads of steel!

Social Worker Visits: 7

Man, CPS is so unfair to this family. You know how concerned everyone is with child safety :(

So... I had some trouble keeping Caleb alive for awhile there... so I kindly edited out even more visits from the social worker. You're welcome!

*wah-wah-chicka-wah-wah*
Who's the government dick
That's kidnapping children as her schtick? ♪
SHAFTed! Ya damn right...

Social Worker Visits: 10 (lol)

Social Worker: Sorry, work is work. And I can't work with parents who rely on copouts instead of taking care of their children.
You mean copouts like DYING?

Caleb: You know what?

Fuck flowers.

So fuck them up he does!

And not just one little flower patch, but EVERY SINGLE FLOWER THAT I EVER PLANTED ON THE LOT. YOU LITTLE BASTARD!
Caleb: DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

No no, go ahead, please stomp on the cacti in your bare feet. *steeples fingers*

And now, an experiment! I was curious to see why autonomous in-law romance wasn't a thing and I suspected it was due to family flag trickery. So, I stuck in a mod that removed the family flags between step-family. Before the mod:
Orion: Life is a bleak and miserable existence.

After the mod:
Orion: :)
Case closed!

Sable: HmmmmMMMMMMMMmmmmmm. I'mma just ignore this.

Yeah, I bet she's acting all cute now that she fucked your dad.

I can't help it, unsolicited kid hugs are still so darn adorable!

Drew: Okay, now my turn!
Naomi: UM NO, CUCKOLDS DON'T GET FREE HUGS

Meanwhile, Caleb still sucks.

Caleb: It's not my fault! All that death eats up your braincells!

FREEEEEEEY! FREY, I MISS YOU! ;O; COME BACK! I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE I'M SAYING THAT!

Naomi: Huff huff huff!
Where are you running off to?

Naomi: HIKEEBA! *kick*
OH DEAR GOD! FEET OFF THE GRAVE!

Wow. I've had a lot of unruly sims in this game, but never a gravekicker! I'm surprised she didn't break the damn thing.

But she's not done, because she heads off to stomp all the flowers I just replanted. SIGH.

Naomi: Good morning, beautiful world! NOT. FUCK THIS TRASHCAN. *kick*

Naomi: :D
Gee, thanks a bunch for giving me more flies and roaches!
Naomi: :D

Mars: Caleb, why you gotta keep ratting us out to social services?
I'm okay with this if it means they take away Naomi.

Damian is weirdly competitive and ~ANGSTS~ whenever he loses at games (which is constantly).

What a big baby.

Orion: OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH. OH! OH! WHAT NOW! WHAT!!
Then again, look at who he's playing with.

Yeah, I'm over toddlerhood already. The twins are growin' up!

Both cute! But both are Drew clones. Who cares.

DEAR GOD. THERE ARE WAY TOO MANY LITTLE BOYS IN THIS HOUSE NOW.

Drew: You know who's responsible for that? That's right, ME! You're welcome.
It's true. Motherfucker must have super Y-chromosome sperm.

Zubin: Dearest brother! Would you like another huggle?

Ruben: BITCH YOU'RE BLOCKIN' MAH GAMES
Zubin: WHEEZE! MY TRACHEA!

THE RUBAZUBE LOVE IS OVER :( :( :(

Looks like somebody just realized that his familial bliss is a lie!

Zubin: SOB! Roundhoused by my own flesh and blood!

Ruben: FUCKING CRYBABY
Yeah, Ruben is a little low on the 'empathy' side of things.

Ruben: I WILL GET YOU.
But he is generous! He doesn't discriminate in attacking his siblings!

Guess who got scared by the ghosts again?

And then got lectured about pissing on the floor? LMAO.

Yes, I know! I've failed Caleb on every possible level! I get it!

Caleb: *rustle* Hnnng! SUCK SO BAD! HATE MYSELF!
Even Caleb haunts Caleb.

Social Worker: I know, he sucks. And that's why we have to take him.

Social Worker Visits: 11

Here's the other problem I've been having with the ghosts.

They don't even care about my anti-ghost signs anymore! They just float around like they own the damn place!

That gives them allllllll the time in the world to wake up a sim, pull them out of bed, and then kill them.

Yeah, zap the killer ghost out of the room AFTER the deed is done, why don't you? That's it. Just these guys wait.

HELLO OLD FRIEND, IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU ONCE AGAAAAAAAIN ♪

Social Worker Visits: 12

Caleb: Cry cry cry! I'm so sad! If only I had ~A FRIEND~ to talk to! Like someone standing right behind me!

Ruben: *HEADSLAM*

Whooo, maybe that was a little too hard there, buddy.

Damian's the next to hit teenhood! He's got Popularity and Family as his aspirations!

Damian: Alright, birthday soup! SNARF SNARF SNARF
Sable: *eyetwitch*

Sable: Are you all done with--
Damian: bbbbBBBBBRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPP

Sable: Oh my GOD.

Sable: That's it. They're never finding the body.

Are we still trying to make that 'human affection' thing work? Scrub.

But there's hope, because sometimes Sable does inexplicably humor them!

Sable: But that doesn't mean I have to LIKE IT.

Caleb, don't you want to STOP being a failure? :(

Caleb: Let's be friends! We can bond over our shared misery!!
Ruben: DO NOT FUCKING TALK TO ME, 'K

Not surprised.

Ruben: *politely waits to beat some ass*

Ruben: You don't understand, I'm too ~unhappy~ to go back to sleep.
THIS IS THE LAST STRAW, GHOSTS! I'M WARNING YOU!

Geez, even I'm surprised by the sheer volume of social worker visits. No wonder I took a break! >:(

Social Worker Visits: 16

G R O S S

Annie and Orion: cough cough OH HI PALOMA!
Really? No one cares about Annie and Orion being together? I bet Fae would have some choice words to say about this.

And now, sudden teen birthdays because I was too lazy to buy everyone cake!
Naomi: Now I get make ~grown-up~ fashion choices, like midriff shirts and fishnet jean shorts!!

Here they are, being uncharacteristically happy!
Mars rolled Knowledge and Fortune.
Naomi rolled Knowledge and Grilled Cheese.
Caleb rolled Fortune and Romance.
Owen rolled Family and Pleasure.

That's it for this update! And as for the next... it might be the very last one?! I've gotta see how much material I'll have, but I'll probably end up making it a Super XXL Ending Update if I have to! Thanks for reading, and I'll see you next time!

Almassy [10.3]: Revenge of the Baby Snatcher

2014-10-31T21:09:43Z

Welcome... to the SPOOOOOOKY HALLOWEEN EDITION of the Almassy Legacy. Dare you enter this haunted realm of ghosts, screaming shitty children, and child welfare officials gone rogue? *INSERT SCARY THUNDERCLAP NOISE HERE*

Last time, Drew and Annie finally tied the knot, which made her lose her damn mind. I'm sure having three kids in quick succession didn't help either! (It's okay, Orion still thinks that she's totally hot.) Paloma had twins of her own, bringing the total number of children to six. A few of the ghosts must have become ultra-hardcore CFers during their imprisonment on Asshole Island because they immediately started trying to kill off the kids, thus summoning the social worker to take them away.

Like hell I'm gonna let her, though! I'm going back in for round two! But first, please join me for a hearty point and laugh at Drew and Annie's misery. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

This time around, Philip dies for some stupid reason that I don't know. Grim just didn't want to give Drew a chance to plead, I guess?

I thought the night would still go okay otherwise, but Sable gets intercepted on her way to bed and gets spooked again. :(

Social Worker: *Doakes voice* SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKER.

Social Worker: Who keeps letting these assholes procreate?
NO! I WILL DEFEAT YOU, CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES. I SWEAR IT!

Social Worker Visits: 3

Okay, ROUND THREE. Philip dies again due to an even MORE stupid reason: April just had to mop up piss, blocking the reaper so Drew couldn't talk to him! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

But I sent Sable to go eat food instead of getting her killed while she went to bed! See? I'm learning! I'm so good at this game.
Akiko: That's what YOU think. YOUR ASS IS MIIIIIIIINE.

Who cares, Drew? Incontinence should be the least of his concerns right now.

Akiko must be threatened by actual competency. Why else would she be so determined to murder this random child?

I just wanna say, I AM SO THANKFUL FOR THIS STEREO. I used to get mad that someone would always leave it on 24/7, but this means that it'll also wake up anybody who has inconveniently decided to pass out on the floor.

Orion: How about a nice big hug so social services doesn't think we're neglecting you?
Sable: NO! NO HUMAN AFFECTION EVERRRRRRRRRRR

GOOD THING THIS MAKES US BEST FRIENDS SOMEHOW!

Gotta have the stink eye, even in your sleep. Show those ghost bitches who's boss.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the night: more death and incontinence!

Excessive unconsciousness!

ENDLESS SCREAMING AND TEARS! DEAR GOD MAKE THE PAIN STOP

THANK YOU. SWEET, SWEET SUNLIGHT! I've never been so happy to see the morning in this game!

Fae peed on the floor, because baby obsession > toilet usage apparently, and the maid laughed SO FUCKING LOUDLY AT HER AND THEN I STARTED LAUGHING TOO OMFG. He's been pretty silent recently so hearing him go "BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!" at her at full volume was just everything I needed to hear after that hell night.

Also, this jumble of garbage and children is basically how the kitchen ends up every morning now.

Guess who helps the maid pick everything up? Brown-noser.

Sable: I bet Grandpa messed up the kitchen. He's a dirty old man.
Well, I guess that's true literally... AND figuratively...

Speaking of which, the object of his affections is back from the dead again. Y.....yaaaaaay.......?

Orion & Fae: We put all the children to sleep! THANK YOU JAYSUS

HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH!

Impromptu birthday party time, 'cause Fae wanted to throw one!

OH PLEASE, LIKE ANYONE WOULD EVER INVITE YOU. GO AWAY.
Social Worker: Trust me, I know I'll be taking the kids tonight. I know.

And of course she's right, because some ghost takes it upon themselves to scare Sable to 'death'... yet again. SIGH

Social Worker Visits: 4

OKAY. One quick reset later, we can carry on with the party and attempt to get through five whole fucking birthday cakes!

Damian is up first!
Damian: don't pretend like you're excited about this. stop making that dumb face, gramps.

Damian has the very cute Drew Face, but doesn't have anything from Annie that I can see. :\ Bummer. There's a robotic gnome driving a jeep on his pajamas, which slightly helps my disappointment.

GUESS WHAT! THIS IS THE LAST TIME I EVER HAVE TO DO A QUAD BIRTHDAY CAKE CONGA LINE. I JUST REALIZED THIS RIGHT NOW. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!

Naomi: woah........... that's just your opinion, this party rockzzzzzz man
Hey! No giving bong hits to infants!

OH NO, IT'S THE DEA! Or, uh, just a noise violation. phew.

I was so excited to have the police show up AGAINST the family for once, but she didn't do shit. She mosied outside the front door, hollered at everyone to shut up which immediately ended the party, and then left.

Sable: JUST TRY AND STOP ME, COPPERS! TOOTLYTOOTLYTOOOOOOT

OOPS THE GHOSTS GOT DAMIAN TOO.
Rule #1 of Ghost House: pay attention to everyone at all times or they will be murdered as soon as you look away.

Social Worker: STOP MESSING WITH THE LAWS OF TIME AND SPACE. I AM TAKING YOUR KIDS, END OF STORY.
Annie: You think you're so great 'cause of your fancy teleporting skills? OOOOH. SO SCARY.

Annie: BAI, BETCH~
WOW ANNIE! YOU HAVE GREAT COMMUNICATION SKILLS WITH THE GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL COLLECTING YOUR CHILDREN!

Social Worker Visits: 5

Now that the toddlers have stopped getting kidnapped, we can finally take a look at them! Buuuuuuuuuuut I won't be spending a lot of time on them for reasons you'll soon see.

Here are Annie's twins, with shithead Owen on the left and sweeter baby Caleb on the right. Owen is pretty much all Annie and Caleb is pretty much all Drew, so: boring.

Naomi (on the left) and Mars (on the right) seem to be a better blend of their parents! Naomi has Paloma's nose and Mars has Phillip's, I think...

Oh my god, you're PREGNANT AGAIN?!?! FUUUUUUUCKKKKLJLGHGJGHJGJH!!!

Turns out that this is all my fault. See that number right there? I was messing around with the risky woohoo odds and forgot to set it back to 5%, where I normally have it. That explains why Annie seems to have the world's unluckiest uterus.

Damian: Ahahahaha, MORE CHILDREN? FUCK THIS *TOSS*
Now now, what's wrong with potentially having six younger siblings? Sounds like a great idea to me!!

Something that I love about this gen's kids is that they all adore Orion. He's really the only one who spends any time with or plays with the children so they're always doing something together!

Okay, except maybe Damian. God forbid he spend some time watching crappy TV shows with his family.

Damian: I have to interact? With PEOPLE?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Here's why I'm not getting into the toddlers too much: I HATE PLAYING THIS HOUSE! If I'm unlucky, there are nights just FULL of horrible death and having four toddlers on top of that is just miserable.

Another problem is that some script ('ChairsSurroundingBed') in the house shit itself and starts constantly erroring out sims as soon as they even think about going to bed. This results in everyone getting lobotomized at night and stuck in an endless error loop unless I intervene and direct them myself (or reset the lot repeatedly). Basically, I hate this. I hate it forever. I'm sure I could fix it, but I'm SO CLOSE to being done that I'm just powering through it.

But you can't fix stupid!
Annie: Excuse me. Is this RAISIN BRAN? INSTEAD OF MY FROSTED FLAKES??

Annie: I'M JUST GONNA DIE RIGHT HERE IN PROTEST! BLEH!
Uh huh, that's great, Annie.

Annie: Hey! I mean it. I'm really gonna do it!
Uh huh.

Drew: Oh no. What did she do THIS time?
Paloma and Orion: SNICKER SNICKER SNICKER

Drew: God, I hate you. You bony-ass smug bastard. Think you're so great with your stupid knife on a stick.

He'd rather be distracted by the smelly kitchen, so Orion has to pull Annie back from the brink of death.

DUMBASS

Being married to stupid Annie must be pretty depressing, because later I found April trying to cheer Drew up. LOLOLOLOL

April: Sure, she's dumb as hell, but she's really, really hot!!

OKAY I PROMISE ALL OF THAT WAS GOING SOMEWHERE, which is that I finally just said, 'NO MORE TODDLERS, I'M GROWING THEM UP'. So now they're kids.
Naomi: *smile smile smile*

Mars: WHAT ARE YOU GRINNING AT ME FOR, YOU DRUG-ADDLED WEIRDO?

I didn't peg Mars as getting the angry child gene, but I'm happy that he did! I miss my evil bitchy little children!

Naomi: That's not true! I only tried it once back in college!!! WAAAAAAAH!

Naomi: MOMEEEEEEEEEEE HE SAID I WAS A DRUG AAAAADDIIIIIIIIIICT!
Mars: snitches get stitches. peace out.

NOOOOOOOOOOOO! DON'T TAKE ONE OF THE BEST THINGS ABOUT THIS FAMILY AWAY FROM ME!

Fae: Are you fucking kidding me? What's in here, lead powder?

Grim Reaper: NO ARGUING. Now sashay away.
GRIMMY, NO! IT WASN'T HER TIME! D:

Paloma: Did you really call your sister a drug addict? That totally would have made you Grandma's favorite grandson.

Hey, Fae is lucky. She gets to miss the hilarious and wacky fun of having yet another baby in the household!

Annie: Squeegie, did you know? I'm ~*~expecting~*~!
Squeegie: Yeah, I... listen, maybe this isn't a good relationship for us to be in anymore.

Yeah, Sable's still got those ~issues~ about touching.

Sable: That's not true. She CAN hug me, but then I reserve the right to suplex her. Got it?
Naomi: LOUD AND CLEAR, CAPTAIN!

Sure, that's not her child, but I think she already learned that hugging Sable is a bad idea.

D'awwwwwwwww! Mars is such a little fuck! I don't think anyone can top Sable as my favorite so far but man, Mars sure is trying.

Owen: DID YOU JUST TRY TO BITE MY PERFECTLY COIFED HAIR? OH HELL NAW

Mars: I just whupped your punk-ass brother outside! And if you wanna mess with me too, YOU'RE NEXT!

But I know what really happened, Owen beat his ass. Sorry, Mars!

Drew's failed engagement is a hot topic among all the visiting coworkers, lol.

Owen: RAAAAAAAAHHH I'M FUCKIN' CRAZY AND ALL I DO IS SCREAM AND THROW TANTRUMS ALL DAY
Damian: DAMN BITCH TONE IT DOWN

Owen: LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR! LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR!
Damian: Are you even listening to me?

Damian: SOMEBODY GET ME A MUZZLE
If only, kid, if only.

Here's Naomi casually strolling around like she just didn't piss herself. Guess what that means?

Social Worker: That her failure to be potty-trained at eight years old means I should take her once and for all?
LOOK, IT'S NOT JUST ANY ORDINARY PEE, IT'S GHOST MURDER PEE OKAY? I'M NOT A BAD CAREGIVER

Caleb: Hooray! Sweet, glorious freedom!
Caleb, you traitor.

Annie: AHAHAHAHAHA. TAKE AS MANY AS YOU WANT, MORE'S ON THE WAY!

Social Worker Visits: 6

Hmmm, let's try that again with less social worker! And in the dirty bathroom, because why not?

Wow, another alien baby! This is a boy, Ruben, who is 100% Drew genetics-wise. Fingers crossed that he doesn't look like him, though!

Yes, that's a slice of pie. Focus, Annie. FOCUS.

And here is his twin, Zubin. You might be able to tell that I was having fun with the names that my name generator was giving me.

Ahahaha, infants again? No way. I am cheating this and YOU CAN'T STOP ME

Ruben on the left, Zubin on the right. I keep misspelling their names as some horrible mishmash so I feel great about naming them this way!!

Okay, update's over! If you're celebrating Halloween, have a good night tonight and stay safe! I'll leave with you with adorable huggles that they did four in a row. Awww.

-------------------------------------------

This is only slightly relevant to the update but I think you should watch this video.

Legacy Names List!

2014-10-26T06:07:18Z

Here's a short list of last names I've collected for legacies and challenges and things - it makes no sense for me to hoard them all to myself, so why not see if there's one you'd like to use?

Legacy Last Names List @ pastebin

So the ETA on the next Almassy update is... soon, maybe? I hope? D: I've been busy (this month has been worlds better than last month, thankfully) so I haven't had much time to play. Also, uh, Smash 3DS happened. GOD IT MAKES ME WANT A WIIU NOW. GODDAMNIT SAKURAI

Hopefully you've all been well!! And I'll try to crank out that next update soonish!

Almassy Legacy [10.2]: Divebomb

2014-10-14T03:51:33Z

TOOT TOOT UPDATE TIME

So, last time... GEN TEN IS REAL. THE END IS IN SIGHT! Lucky April got to usher in the final generation with the birth of her daughter, Sable. (Not so lucky for Sable.) In other heir news, Annie moved in but gave Drew the run-around before finally agreeing to marry him, and Paloma convinced some idiot named Phillip to be her baby daddy.

Orion: Guess what, my son and Annie are getting married today!
About that engagement - Orion is as excited as a sim can be, I guess, considering he won't shut up about it!

Orion: Mind if I sit next to your very sexy fiancee??
Although maaaaaaybe there's some ulterior motives at work.

Drew, how do you make lying to your boss about illness just so darn cute?

And here is their very... uh, ~seasonal~ wedding backdrop.

Hey, looks like Annie has elf ears. Why, you ask? Why WOULDN'T Annie the tree-hugging cartoon princess also be an elf?

Awwwww! I can't make fun of them here! I gotta say, they make a nice couple. I'll have to keep that in mind when they start driving me crazy later.

Have fun with married life!
Sable: WAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!

Annie: Well, that was only the WORST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE.
Drew: Really, that bad? ):

Annie: *mental collapse*
Drew: WELL LOL BYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeee
See that wolf back there? He was their only wedding guest besides Sable. lol.

Poor wittle Annie! What will make it all better?

................................

JUST GIMME THE BABY.

It's a boy, Damian, with Annie's coloring and red hair.

Orion: HOORAY! mmmmmm girl you fine ANOTHER GRANDCHILD!
Ahahaha! You think you're so sneaky.

Damian was fawned over for about ten seconds before getting unceremoniously dropped on the floor so Drew and Annie could fuck. Notice that April and Orion haven't even LEFT yet.

AND ANNIE IMMEDIATELY GETS PREGNANT FROM THIS. That just throws out the whole 'one pregnancy per heir' I was shooting for there.

Yeah, I agree.

Paloma's pregnant too! At least this one was planned...

Annie: Man, I'm hungry. I should really go...
To the fridge?

Annie: ...watch some TV!

Annie: What an asshole, eating his chips in front of me. Wish I had some.
FRIDGE?

Annie: BUT I'M STARVING!! WHAT DO I DOOOOOOOOO?!

Annie: Wait, I know! I'LL DANCE WITH MY SEXY LOVER!
Gasp! It's SQUEEGIE MCMOPPERSON!

Annie: HAY GOOD-LOOKIN'. WAT R U DOING TONIGHT
Squeegie: WHATEVER YOU WANT BABY, CONSIDERING I'M A FIGMENT OF YOUR IMAGINATION

Why can't I have whatever Annie is smoking?

Sable: HORK!
Gold standard parenting reigns supreme!

Is it because everyone's getting distracted by inappropriate dirty dancing with the elderly?

Phillip: Don't worry! I just fed Damian fifteen bottles instead of changing his diaper!

Phillip: Dear diary, today I let Sable pass out on the hard floor so I could write in you in peace. Heh heh. I'm so smart!
DIE.

I totally forgot about her being left up there (THANKS PHIL) so she aged up all by herself.

And she's real happy about it!

Hey, but I didn't forget about Damian's birthday.

As far as I can tell, that's all Drew's face. Nothing too exciting there! D:

The stairs in this house suck, so I got them an elevator instead. I felt all fancy having one in the house until someone broke it after only a week. Do you know how hard it is to wreck an elevator? What the heck were they doing in there?!

Fae just beat it until it started working again. I know I'D get right back to work if I saw Fae coming with a wrench.

Orion: ssssssniiiiiIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFF
Annie: Teehee! My inappropriate relationship with my father-in-law pleases me! :D

Annie: But Squeegie, I have eyes only for you.

Annie: What do you say we take it outside, somewhere a little more private?
Squeegie: I'M SNOWBLIND!!!

What's this? Autonomous interest in the baby? Be still, my heart.

Damian: GRANDMA, WTF IS THAT!! *soils self*
Thanks, Yuzuki. Just put him on the pot and everything.

SABLE IS SO CUTE!! I found her outside doing this and she stole my heart!
Sable: WOAH DO YOU SEE THAT IT'S LIKE A WHOLE FUCKIN GALAXY WITH STARS AND PLANETS AND SHIT, WOW

Sable: STARS!!!!
/lazy nemesis joke

What else does she love? MAKING HER BED! Frey's cleaning neuroticism lives on!

Sable: MOM, NOOOOOO! You looked at my soufflé funny and it deflated! IT'S RUINED!

April: *dog begging for table scraps look*
Sable: I don't think so, you culinary plebian.

In contrast to the other neat-freak sims I've had, Sable is very vocal about her disgust for messy things.

She was all JUDGY FACE about Orion tucking into last night's rotten dinner. AS SHE SHOULD BE.

Sable: This garbage is DISTRESSING ME.

I know one person who won't care! Damian got all of Annie's nasty slobbiness.

Lmao, as if he'll get fed. Maybe some floor garbage will be more to his liking.

Bad parenting story time: the game kept bugging me about Damian starving, but since someone usually manages to feed the baby thirty times in a row, I just waited to see who would help Damian on their own. I'm sure you can see where this is going.

For whatever reason, suddenly no one wanted to have anything to do with Damian and they left him in the crib for hours... except for Drew, who decided to swing by later and JUST SIT THERE and do jackshit while his son's hunger meter bottomed out.

So is it any wonder that the kids are getting carted off?

Drew: This seat cradles my rear pretty damn nicely. So I hope you're not expecting me to get up.
Social Worker: Dear god.
DREW I CAN'T BELIEVE I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GOOD DAD. CONSIDER THAT SHIT REVOKED.

April: OMGAW! INVASION OF MAH PRIVACY!!

The social worker lady finally found someone unoccupied enough to scream at.

Paloma: BITCH
LOL. Don't hide your true feelings, girl.

Paloma: Phew, good thing we have back-up children!

cough OH LOOK THE KIDS ARE BACK. And are still not fed.

Damian: DADDY FEED ME
Drew: UM, HELLO! I already got a bottle and dropped it behind me for no reason!

Damian: BUT IT'S JUST TOO FAR AWAY. THE HUNGER, THE HUNGER!
Idiots. Both of them.

Annie: I know Paloma just died, but what about me?
Somebody's gotta ask the hard-hitting questions around here.

Nothing like a quick trip to the underworld to get you ready for birthin'!

Drew and April proceed to put on their finest fake-ass, plastered-on smiles. True love is going out of your way to pretend to care!

Alien skin!!!! I wasn't expecting that one! This is Mars, a boy, who got all of Phillip's coloring besides the skintone.

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!

Here's his twin sister, Naomi, with Phillip's blond hair and Fae's green eyes. Very cute!

Everyone kept cheering only for Mars, presumably because OMG ALIEN SKIN WOOOOOO! Poor Naomi, fresh-baked from the womb and already she's forgotten.

Annie, are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay, Annie? ♫

Annie. WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS.

Sigh... Caleb, a boy with MOAR alien skin, red hair, and Annie's eyes.

And Owen, with the same coloring plus human skin. MORE TWINS, REALLY?

She's rewarded for her generosity with instant death. Yuzuki don't mess around.
(AND DO YOU SEE THE CONTINUED ALIEN SKIN DISCRIMINATION)

Drew: Huh. Dad, you wanna take care of this one?
Orion: Maybe you should do it. Kneeling like that hurts my back.
Drew: Like it feels so great when I do it?
Orion: Well, when you get to be old like me...

OR NOBODY CAN DO IT AND JUST LET ANNIE DIE. DESPITE ME TELLING YOU TO PLEAD. OKAY THEN.

Drew: :DDDDDDDDDD *brushes off haterz*
WHY DO YOU HAVE SUCH DUMB REACTIONS TO THINGS!!

Oh, good. That's SURE to contribute to their development. INTO FUCKING HELLSPAWN THAT IS.

Time to call up the death hotline for probably the fiftieth time this legacy!

STOP CELEBRATING LIKE YOU DID ANYTHING WORTH A DAMN

Well, with four infants to deal with YET AGAIN, I'm back in the seventh circle of simming hell. :( Which is having these three fools puzzle over the cribs like it's musical chairs.

And like any good baby obsession, everyone suddenly forgets how to take care of themselves so there was starvation and piss aplenty. Orion, you have like sixty years worth of bladder control on Naomi, what's the problem here?

Out of all the babies I hate Owen the most. HE NEVER SHUTS UP. Why couldn't Caleb have been an only child?

And what are you doing today, YOU LAZY FUCK?
Phillip: Gotta work on my sexy tan, you know. Even in winter!
(please may a meteor smite him. come on, game. i'll fuckin' pay you. just do it.)

At least Sable managed to be productive and go to school... minus the outerwear, because a jacket for your kid in winter?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

I LOVE YOU SABLE! BLESS YOU AND ALL YOUR GERMAPHOBE GENES!

Drew: What do you think about having some more little cousins around?

Sable: Why? Why would you inflict more babies on me? :(

Sable forgives her uncle though, because he listens to her talk about staaaaaaars~!

SYNCHRONIZED SHITTING? YEP, IT'S GREAT

TEN OUT OF TEN ANNIES AGREE!

But this right here? This is what's going to make playing this gen Very, Very Bad.

There's a lot of graves for the game to choose from now, and if I'm very unlucky, it spawns only the pissed-off ghosts for me to contend with. One of them is Rainbow here, who died somehow on the lot a million years ago and is not happy about it. Which is fine... until she goes straight for the child murder. NOT COOL!

Meanwhile, Phillip dies for no reason. Okay.
April: All I said was, I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT BASEBALL. Don't be so dramatic.

I sent Sable to go to bed, where I'm confronted by my other nemesis of the night, the goddamn elevator. Sims on the verge of passing out can trudge up an infinite amount of stairs, but waiting for the elevator isn't an option? Sure, game.

AKIKO, NOOOOOOOOO! YOU DICKHEAD!

I-I'm sure that's only... a little bit fatal? )8

Guess who's back-- back again? ♪
Welfare's back-- tell a friend! ♫
Phillip: You saved me from certain death! MY HEEEEE~RO!
Drew: NONONONO HANDS OFF THE GOODS

Fae: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, YOU CAN HAVE THEM!

Social Worker: AGAIN? WHAT IRRESPONSIBLE PARENTING. Don't you understand that I have to report this and blah blah blee blee blah blah?

Drew: Teeheehee! I'm sorry!
Lady, just stop. LOOK AT WHO YOU ARE TALKING TO.

Karma's a bitch, ain't it?

Unfortunately, the social worker getting scared makes her no more sympathetic to the situation, so the kids are gone again. Hmmm, maybe I should keep count...

Social Worker Visits: 2

I tried carting around one of the twins to play keep-away, but the social worker just bampfed the baby out of existence. ):<

AAAAAAAAND IT'S GOOD TIMES AT THE ALMASSY HOUSEHOLD TONIGHT!

-------------------------------------------

I know every generation I'm like, THIS IS THE WORST ONE AND IT WAS SO FRUSTRATING TO PLAY! But I can confidently say that yep, this one is the worst. No contest. At least my game waited until the end to screw me? D: Oh well, any amount of stupidity and misery is worth it if it's entertaining! So thanks for reading, and see you next time!

Almassy Legacy [10.1]: It's Finally Here!!

2014-10-05T05:04:31Z

Quick recap and then we're getting RIGHT INTO IT!

Last time: the triple heirs moved back into their fancy new house to make with the babies. Only April managed to put a bun in the oven, as Paloma just earned a dead fiance and Drew made out with every woman in a five mile radius who WASN'T Annie. Luckily(?) for Madrine, she was the one person in that update who didn't die from ghost attacks!

We now return to...
~The Miracle of Pregnancy~
April: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK MY BACK

The relationship between mommy and baby is a very special one!
April: U LIL BITCH STOP KICKING ME IN THE KIDNEYS
Drew: *ignores*

And having a healthy breakfast is important when you're eating for two!!

MMMMMMM, SMELLS LIKE DELICIOUS MOLD AND SAMONELLA. Oh well, at least she didn't get food poisoning!

April: FOOD?!?!?!?! :DDDD
Yes.

Hope you like just the one, because SOMEBODY missed 'sharing is caring' in kindergarten class.

In bummer news... werewolves are great to play and all but man, they're perfect murder bait for ghosts. :( So they're going bye-bye!

FREY, WILL YOU EVER DRINK A POTION IN A LESS HOMOEROTIC WAY

WOLF-B-GONE!™ The crisp, refreshing taste your werewolves crave!

Also on the agenda for today: resurrecting Percy, said dead fiance.

Aaaaaand here is where I remember that you can't resurrect young adults in the main neighborhood, and I really don't care enough about Percy to jump through the hoops necessary to rescue him from death's icy grip. Have fun rotting in the backyard!

Annie: GUESS YOU'RE NOT BUSY THEN! WE CAN TALK ABOUT POLLUTION, YAY!
STFU ANNIE. GET OVER HERE AND GET IMPREGNATED ALREADY.

Drew: LOL YOUR FIANCE IS DEAD FOREVER!!!
Although that's easier said than done with Mr. No Social Skills over here. Good thing Paloma's been completely nonchalant about Percy getting killed off.

Drew: HOLY SHIT DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO JUMP OVER A GOOMBA
Annie: *beep! blorp! bweep!*
Drew: YOU'VE HAD TWENTY-SEVEN YEARS TO FIGURE THIS OUT!!

Being a backseat gamer isn't cute. Especially if you're four and being a little know-it-all asshole. ~~aka me~~

They may be mildly abusive and stupid, but damn if they aren't cute together!

Drew and Annie: SLURP SLORP SLURP KISS SMACK
Frey: Just grin and bare it... grin and bare it...

Drew: Ahem, how about a little PRIVACY, gramps?
Frey: PALOMA WOULD NEVER!

Frey: BARF! MY EYES!
I don't care, I'm just relieved somebody doesn't want to fuck an in-law.

Annie: Oh, Drew! It's so romantic when you catch me! ♥
Drew: D:<

His pissface might say otherwise, but he didn't drop Annie onto the floor! Progress!

Which means that they get along well enough that I can FINALLY move her in.

Nothing too different about adult Annie. The only stickler points are that she's a total slob and she'll be yet another perpetually unfulfilled romance sim spouse.

Impromptu party time! Which means I get to invite over all the usual suspects, such as Old Fart Julia who you can't see properly.
Frey: WELL I CAN SEE HER AND WOW, YOU'RE WRINKLY AS FUCK
Julia: why did I even show up.

Also visiting is one of the local hot townies that Frey continues to antagonize. WHYYYYYY!

But the TRUE guest of honor at this party is...
SMUSTLE.
MASTER.

Everyone: SMUS-TLE FEEEEEEEEEEE-VER!
Drew: *fails*
DREW! STOP RUINING MY SMUSTLE PICTURE!

Hey, remember a long time ago when I said Frey wouldn't be around to see the end of the legacy? Well....... :(

Frey: *SAD FACE*
DON'T YOU GIVE ME THAT DUMB FACE. I THREW A NICE PARTY JUST FOR YOU, AND NOT EVEN TO CELEBRATE YOUR DEATH. THAT MEANS SOMETHING!

It's unreal, having this one guy be total shit at everything he ever did and yet his death was one of the hardest for me. Good thing I didn't cry, because I would NEVER live that down... but I was still really, really sad to see him go. Bye, honey! :(

The only appropriate sendoff.

Random lady: So he throws a party and then just DIES at the end? What a snore.
Wade: *ANRGY HATELUST???*
Annie: Hey, you know what? Food... smells good! Another astute observation!
April: Oh noooooooo! GRANDPA!
So the percentage of people here who actually cared is around... 5%? Maybe?

Poor April was just devastated. She shed a lot more tears than I thought she was going to. D:

If only Frey had hung on for another day! He very narrowly missed the birth of his great-grandchild.

And while he managed to get the whole tiki party death dealie, he didn't actually get a platinum grave. Geez, "so close and yet so far" was really the motto of his whole life.

Drew has to go cry outside in the dark like any real manly man would do.

Fae: OH THANK GOD, HE'S FINALLY DEAD. HUG ME, DREW!
SURPRISING REACTION, YES?

Well, I think the festivities should be focused less on Frey's corpse and more on THIS. OHHHHHHH YES. Strap on your party hats, motherfuckers.

Are you ready? Then please welcome...

~*~GENERATION TEN!!!!!~*~

IT'S THE CIIIIIIIIRCLLLLLLLE.... THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE! ♪

(okay, I'm done)

The fabled gen ten baby is a girl named Sable, who has Opal's hair and eyes! With her birth, I'm technically done with the legacy... but I won't officially end it until I send the kids off to college or hell or whatever awaits end-of-the-legacy sims. So there's still a bit of life left in this thing!

April: Well, that was fun. Laters!
Sable: Wait, are you leaving me here? Mom? MOM? MOM??

Fae: YOU MEAN THIS SHIT ISN'T OVER YET
Nope! It's only just getting started! MUAHAHAHAHA!

I'd believe Fae's jadedness if she wasn't instantly hit by the grandparent spell and now wants everything to do with babies.

As for these two? Baby chimes, FINALLY. It only took like five whole tries to get her knocked up.

I'm putting the blame for that squarely on her choice of sexy bedroom talk.

Paloma: Oh god, what is that STENCH?

Sable: Oh, that would be me, sorry about that. No bowel control and all! So, maybe someone could come pick me up and change--

Sable: --ARE YOU BITCHES HAVING A BIRTHDAY PARTY
Why yes! It's time for Orion to join the Old Fart Club himself!

Siiiiigh, he looked so adorable here that it was hard to let him age up! But he looks almost exactly the same as an elder so no biggie.

Everyone: DEAR GOD, THE SMELL BLEARGH
And there's Sable's contribution to the party! Happy birthday!

Fae: Congrats on staying a hot piece of ass!
ORION AND FAE, HOTTIE SENIOR CITIZEN POWER COUPLE!

Hours later and the baby still isn't changed? oic.

Solution? Just make Grandpa take care of it!
Sable: SOMEDAAAAAAAAAAY MY CHANGE WILL COOOOOOOOOOOME~

Don't worry Orion, I'll help you out here. Here's a hint - horrible poop smell coming from the baby means you CHANGE it.

Hi, Lace! Looks like she isn't too happy about biting it in the kitchen. :(

Good thing pleading for his dead wife makes Drew inappropriately SMILEY!

Paloma: Uh huh, yeah, this is really interesting-- hold on, gotta take this. Hello?
Pictured: my irl reaction to every death now

Stupid Annie gets to live another day!

Sable: PISSED YOURSELF? YEAH, JOIN THE CLUB, PAL.

Somehow they stopped being attacked by vengeful spirits long enough to have a fun gaming session together.

THEY ARE SO CUTE. GOD I KNOW I'M GONNA REGRET HAVING TRIPLE HEIRS BUT I LOVE ALL THREE OF THEM.

This guy here is Phillip. He's some random dude who Paloma happens to like, and his blond hair means he's been bumped up to Percy-Replacement status.

Annie: HmmmMMMMMMmmmm... I think someone is bumpin' uglies back there.
Okay... BUT WHY ARE YOU IN HER ROOM THO.

Not that it matters, because they have to go put their clothes back on to 'network'.

She's got the baby bump! Time for the anti-bastard child ceremony!

Drew: Annie, will you do me the favor of becoming my wife so I can stop smiling like this?

Annie: Ohmigosh! Drew, you shouldn't have!

Annie: You really, REALLY shouldn't have. NO.

Drew: BAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWW
Annie: I mean, really. Who does this chump think he is?
HE'S YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND UNFORTUNATELY, NOW TAKE THE RING ALREADY

Paloma: Wow, it was so romantic when you gave me warehouse product samples before we had wild, crazy sex! ♥

Paloma: Now hows'bout you move in?!
Phillip: NO NO NO NO NO
Wow, I'm just not having anything go right today, am I? ):

Well, on a better note.... Drew changed a diaper.... on his own??

AND PUT THE BABY BACK INTO THE CRIB? Stop the presses. This man is a genius.

Fae made the mistake of using the telescope while evil murdercat Vivi was on the loose.

Of course, April has to get sniped right after saving her. GOD, THIS FUCKING CAT.

Vivi: Hiya, kids! It's me, Vivi! Just letting you know I've dedicated myself to claiming the souls of the innocent. Hail Satan™!

IT'S SABLE'S BIRTHDAY!! Now she can do something other than screaming for about six hours straight before finally passing out.

And she is sooooooo adorable! ;O; I'm SO happy she got Opal's eyeshape! That nose is either Opal's or April's, I'm not really sure. In any case, she's cute as a button.

Sable: Probably shouldn't bother, but... food?
April: YOU MEAN YOU DON'T WANT CAKE? WOW YOU ARE SO DEMANDING

Sable: Baaaaawwwwwwwww!
Ah well, it was worth a shot.

Orion keeps rolling wants to spy on his neighbors like a creeper, so he's starting to accumulate a steady stream of enemies who break into the house to yell at him about it.

Neighbor: THAT'S SO CREEPY AND WEIRD!!! ZOMG!!!
Orion: BOOHOOHOOHOOOOO

Oh please. Orion can't even pretend he's sorry. lmao.

Drew: SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT TIME FOR ANOTHER PROPOSAL!
Annie: Omigosh omigosh! Yes, I accept!

So what changed this time? Hell if I know. Perhaps the deranged neighbor storming into the house was the missing touch this engagement needed.

Orion: Congratulations on the engagement! I am definitely, definitely, DEFINITELY not jealous about this at all!

MEANWHILE: a riveting courtship ritual via chess.

Hey, maybe angry neighbors ARE the secret! Phillip finally agreed to move in!

And now, photographic evidence as to why I already hate him:

On his first night of work, he gets fired.

And then has a breakdown in the front yard. I expect only good things coming from him!

Sable: Philip?
Phillip: NOT NOW SWEETHEART, MR. VOLLEYBALL IS REASSURING ME ABOUT THE JOB MARKET!

Sable: PHILIP CHANGE MY DIRTY DIAPER OR I'LL SOCK YOU
Phillip: NO, I NEED TO HAVE AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER MY CAREER! GOD!!!

Oh, Sable... you could've been the well-loved gen ten baby of another legacy, but not here! Good luck, kid!

-------------------------------------------

THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING TEN WHOLE GENERATIONS!! 8D See you next time!

Almassy Legacy [9.10]: Bonus Round

2014-09-24T04:57:38Z

YES IT'S STILL GENERATION NINE. I'M SORRY. Somehow I didn't realize that having three heirs means three times the amount of pictures I have to take. D: Plus like, this whole month... has just not been good to me. A nice little filler update is right up my alley right now. Anyways, looking back at last time: booze and death galore at the second half of university! Most of that time was spent failing to find Paloma, Drew, and April some spouses before they had to graduate. Lemme tell you though, my pretend-arson skills are excellent.

SO. Getting right back into things! Here's the last stupid house I have to build for this legacy, and thankfully it's one that I like quite a lot. The main part here is where the heirs and all the kids will get to stay! I guess the real prize April gets for being first place is the swanky master bedroom on the third floor, while Drew and Paloma are relegated to some ~plebian~ bedrooms downstairs.

To the side is the guest house, with Frey and Madrine on the first floor and Orion and Fae on the second. Apparently Orion and Fae got the best damn bathroom on the lot, because EVERYONE goes out of their way to shower there. WHY.

Oh, and one last thing - Asshole Island is gone! All the graves have been scattered across the lot so the ghosts can roam around. It's the last generation, why not let them have a little freedom ~~to kill everyone in sight~~?

Awww, don't they look cute! So innocent about the day they get swamped with twenty bazillion children, driving me bugshit crazy in the process. You just keep smiling, April. You don't even know.

April and Drew: WOW MADRINE IS A HOTTIE!!
But no one is going to have sex with her, right? RIGHT?!
(Drew already tried. I NIPPED THAT SHIT IN THE BUD SO FAST, YOU HAVE NO IDEA.)

Any new house obviously needs to be greeted via ritual dance!

April: It's a house! And it's NEW!! LIFE IS GREAT!
Is the bubble bong residue in your brain coming loose again?

Oh look, here are the other three clowns that live to drive me crazy. It's not like this is NEW behavior, but Fae and Frey's eternal slapfest and Orion hovering around Fae like she has her own gravitational pull is immensely more annoying in the new house. I think I'm just a bit bitter that they ignore all their rad new stuff in favor of obsessing over each other literally all day. (Seriously. They even forget to eat or sleep.)

But who cares! I've got some match-making to get to! I'm a busy gal!

Annie: BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP
Annie the Disney princess has impeccable table manners.

Lmao, of course he thinks that's funny. Fuck off, Drew.

Annie: Ooooh, I feel all funny looking at him. My stomach is in knots! ♥
Maybe it's more gas.

But Drew doesn't feel the same way. :( As far as chemistry goes, they're pretty much duds. Too bad he doesn't have a choice in the matter!

Drew: HELLO! I AM BEING FORCED TO TALK AND FLIRT WITH YOU!
Annie: How romantic!~ swoon

Annie don't care how fake it is as long as somebody's fawning over her!

Since April doesn't have a spouse set in stone yet, I went to Plan A: poach random-ass people off the street. This lady here is Lace, but while she's cute, she had no interest in April.

Sooooo Plan B it is! I love this thing. Somewhere in the distance, you can probably hear the matchmaker crying herself to sleep on her giant Scrooge McDuck money pile because she's been replaced by a fucking ball.

Meet Opal! I liked her the best out of the crystal's options and lemme tell ya, having three bolts never hurts. I don't really want red hair again but MMMMMM, THAT EYESHAPE

Orion: Wow Annie, I never did think about the dangers of fracking!
Annie's conversation topics remain completely unsurprising.

Annie: You know, I'm always interested in the size of a man's....... carbon footprint. ♥
ANNIE! ANNIE, NO!! D8

PSA: Orion is married. Orion does not need a blind date. Orion also does not need future daughters-in-law all over his nutsack. This has been a message from the legacy player. Thank you.

Drew: HUM DE DUM, JUST GOTTA NEUROTICALLY SCRUB EVERY SURFACE OF THIS BATHTUB
Thankfully he's oblivious to any goings-on between Annie and his dad. As he is about most things, really.

They're free! They're freeeeeeeee! 8D Gee, you'd think they'd look a little happier about it? The ghosts have only been chained up for like three generations now or something.

Vivi, shitlord animal ghost supreme, rewards me for my generosity by scaring poor Lace to death.

UM ARE YOU JUST GONNA LEAVE YOUR SPAGHETTI ON THE FLOOR YOU SLOB?

Opal: Excuse me, but I can't leave because somebody's CORPSE is in the way!

Opal: DOES NO ONE SEE THAT I'M IN A STATE OF EMERGENCY
HOLY SHIT SHUT UP AND WAIoh Drew let Lace die anyway. Problem solved!

During all this, Fae became an old lady and I totally forgot to let her stay home from work. D: Oh well, at least she missed ghost murder!

Fae? Is super good-looking at every damn life stage. How does she do it?!

Hey Paloma! How's the love life going? You look super busy there so I'm sure it's going just great!!

As for April, she's down with Opal.

Frey: Blocking the sink when I have DIRTY DISHES?! *SEETHE*

No, this is not April's rad master bedroom. This is in fact Paloma's bed. That I just put there. Could we maybe NOT break it in before Paloma has even slept there?

April: I can't help it! We just can't stop our ~LOVE~!

I guess that's ok--DID I JUST HEAR SOME DAMN BABY CHIMES?!!

April and Opal: *horrible, dawning realization*
Oops, nothing like a big middle finger from ACR to spoil the mood!

Paloma: Did she do what I think she did on MY bed? Oh HELL NO.

NO STAIRS? TOO BAD, PALOMA IS A LADY ON A MISSION

But despite taking the Fuck You Physics Highway, Paloma is a little too late to lecture April on the etiquette of getting impregnated in your sister's bed. Tough luck!

Dirty toilet time? You betcha! Shown this time in ~*~artsy photo vision~*~. Hey, it's tough keeping all these pictures of people vomiting into toilets fresh and interesting.

April: Oooh, I bet puking on the seat will feel great on my buttcheeks! :DDD

\

Drew still clogs up his want panel with Paula so I finally invited her over to nip some in the bud. She's back-up in case things really, really don't work out with Annie.

Drew: YES YES I JUST LOVE LOOKING AT HER *crazy eyes*

Drew: SHE'S SO BEAUTIFUL!! PAULA PAULA PAULA!!

SORRY. You're stuck with Annie. And you can see Paloma's getting a special person of her own too!

Honestly, Percy the music-hating dormie isn't really my first choice for her spouse, but he hits the minimum criteria of being very attractive to Paloma and not dying horribly in college.

Plus, he... likes chess. Exciting, yes? (Not really.)

Paloma Ehhhh... I guess I can live with your penis. Marry me?
Percy: GASP! YES! 'TIL DEATH DO US PART!!

Awwwww, that kinda warms my deadened heart.

April: Drew sure makes some nice paintings when he's trying to avoid you, Annie!
This is true! Drew's great plan whenever Annie visits is to camp his ass at the easel and completely ignore her. Asshole.

Then, in other crap I don't understand: Drew goes and sucks face with this lady .5 seconds after he greets her.

YOU BARELY EVEN KNOW HER, YOU ANTISOCIAL TWIT.

Oh Drew, what a whore. But I DID want him to be a casanova hermit, so I guess I got what I asked for...

Madrine's gotta ruin all the festivities though by dying! Even though she and Joseph annoyed me endlessly with their shenanigans, I was happy I brought her onboard with Frey. Oh my gosh, when did she become heir? *checks* OCTOBER 2013??? JESUS. I'LL GET MY CANE AND MY DEPENDS.

Paloma: Boohoohoohooooooo!
Annie: La la la, flowers and rainbows and small woodland creatures!

BYE MADRINE, I LOVE YOU. :(

Then my game crashed so TS2 could kindly let me relive Madrine's death all over again. What is with the pink hovertorso obsession, game?!
(drew's floating head tho, lmao)

That's right Orion, YOU'LL be the one in a grave if you start trying to bang Annie.

Oh look, it's Frey's dead mom, Akiko! And has she got a wild hair up her ass tonight!

Scaring the piss out of Paloma? Talk about boring and overdone.

Murdering her fiancé? NOW we're cooking with gas!

As you can tell, Percy is a cherished and important member of the family already.

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH

Actually, that probably wasn't Akiko's fault, as GEORGIA just so happened to kill Frey a few moments later.

At least Frey manages to have a happier ending. And how many times have I been able to say THAT?

Frey: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! I HATE DYING.

Akiko: OH YEAH? SUCK IT UP. I CAN'T EVEN FIT ALL THE SHIT I HATE INTO ONE BUBBLE.

Frey: STOP TRYING TO ONE-UP ME MOM!!!
Paloma: *wonders how many times she can piss herself in one night; answer: 3*

Yeah, I don't even care about dumb ghost shit anymore, because LOOK AT THIS. GENERATION TEN IS HAPPENING!!

We leave off with Frey reminiscing about the good old days. Man. Makes you get a little teary remembering those anal probings of yore. Good stuff.

-------------------------------------------

Some things I realized this month:
1. The Sims 2 is now ten years old.
2. I've now been playing this game for six years.
3. My livejournal account is now eight years old.
WHERE IS THE TIME GOING?! GODDAMN

It's heeeeeeeeeeeeeere!

2014-09-01T18:00:57Z

TS4 has gone live in Asia already, so if you're interested in seeing some gameplay, just poke through the live streams on Twitch here. I'm currently watching Pinstar but there's quite a few other streams up there too!

ETA: actually watch Sujieun's stream, it's a lot more entertaining

Almassy Legacy [9.9]: True Life: I Survived Community College

2014-08-28T07:37:59Z

Okay, I really wanted to squeeze the remainder of university into one update so here it is, an absolutely stuffed 130+ picture update! I know enormous updates really obliterate my attention span, so hopefully this one is juicy enough to keep you entertained!

Here's a recap for the first part of college: Ronnie won some fabulous prizes, including a pink gorilla suit, a diabolic torture contraption, and an untimely death at the hands of murderous dorm ghost Koko. Alcoholism is the hot new it thing to do at Death Dorm, and Wade and Drew imbibed heavily (that is, when they weren't busy with resident stoner Druggie).

Honestly, the amount of drinking this time around is staggering. As an experiment, I set out three pineapple kegs to see how long they'd last.

The result? NOT EVEN A DAY! HOW THE HELL DOES ANYBODY GET ANYTHING DONE AROUND HERE.

Drew: WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? I'M A GROWN MAN, I'LL HAVE MY DAMN PUNCH
And presenting Exhibit A for this: Drew Almassy!

Finally got around to resurrecting Ronnie! It was nice not having to babysit him for a few hours.

Wade: Look, I brought my brother back from the pits of hell! See how nice I am?!
Druggie: NICE TRY. YOU CAN'T FOOL ME.

Paloma: *stalk stalk stalk stalk stalk*
Hey, it's Shane the boob appreciator from the last update!

Sure, Paloma just hovered over him for two hours straight, but she totally finds him ugly.

But they'll still fuck anyway. What are these things called 'standards', again?

Paloma: I JUST CAN'T RESIST CREEPY MEN WHO OBJECTIFY ME, WOAH NELLY

Ahhahahaha yeah, NO! Not gonna happen!

Instead, I think it's time to head out and pick up some assorted baby daddies and mommies like a GOOD heir in college should.

The first stop was to McLlama's by slyndsey to scope out some hot rollerskaters, but it's just a total bust. :(

The only interesting things here were deranged Pavo and No-Neck McGee. NEXT.

Thankfully, the prospects at the Yellow Cafe seem a lot better, thanks to the insta-boner heart farting!
Drew: HNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGHHH

All April wants to do is settle down with some food... other people's leftover food. Hey, it's called being a cost-effective date!

Wtf is this, is he some kind of ladies' man now? How is he not tainted by the horrible family legacy of Israel and Frey?

Drew: DON'T YOU DO THE DANCE WITH ME

Drew: STEP OFF, LADY
Except that super-hermit Drew is not interested in such plebian social activities!

Nope, all he wants to do is kiss up to this chick here, who's wearing Yuzuki's dress. That better not be some sort of sign.

Drew: OMG WHY ARE ALL THESE HOT LADIES TALKING TO ME??? GO AWAY CRY
Pimp Jacket: *pimp disappointment*

Paloma: Why go out for dates when I have all the guys in the world right here?
Because these chumps have a shorter expiration date than a headless trout while living in this place?

Speaking of which...
Druggie: OH SHIT AM I IN THE SIXTH SENSE? WHERE'S THAT HOTTIE BRUCE WILLIS
Jesus, these two couldn't look any angrier about visiting from the afterlife. Be glad I didn't make a quick hundred bucks off your stupid urns.

A double ghost murder right off the bat? A bit unnecessary, wouldn't you think?
YES. BECAUSE WHAT FOLLOWED WAS ONE OF THE WORST HOMICIDAL GHOST RAMPAGES I'VE SEEN, LIKE EVER.

More double murder!

This time with uncaring bystanders!
April: Talk about going tits up! AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

There goes creepy Shane.

And the cheerleader, who somehow managed to avoid years of ghost murder. :(

Oh what the heck, just kill off Paloma too while you're at it!

But I have one very special man in a stupid monkey costume on my side. Check and MATE, ghosts.

Dormguy Getskilled: Huh, I strangely feel like I'm imitating a Japanese horror film.
Uh, nah, you'll be fine. Don't turn around any time soon.

Eventually I got tired of taking pictures because SIXTEEN PEOPLE DIED AND THAT'S JUST DAMN EXCESSIVE. Whoever was sleeping literally woke up to a brand new dorm.

But there is a silver lining: Druggie managed to survive! Hooray!
Wade: *stalk stalk stalk stalkity stalk*

Plus Paloma and Ronnie were able to reclaim their rooms that were rudely commandeered after they died!

(But the person who stole the rumpus room also stole everything IN the room when they died, including the energizer and MY FUCKING PINK BEARS)

April: Oh boy oh boy oh boy!
What's got her so excited?

April: WOW YOU ARE UGGGGGLAAAAAAAAAAAY
You ran all the way here just for THAT?

Drew: UGH VOMIT NO GROSS
Apparently it's a real popular activity!

Come on April, hands off the merchandise.

Dormie: PERV ALERT!! WEEWOOWEEWOO!!
Why she was trying to feel up this lady is a mystery to me. April's relationship panel pegged her as hideously unattractive.

So I invited Paula, the girl from the Yellow Cafe over to the dorm to get a makeover and she how she'll look. Managing to make Drew SMILE for once doesn't hurt either.

Paula: Wow, I can totally try out for America's Next Top Model now! *~high fashion model expression~*

So she's really cute and all but... I'm not really on board yet? Drew is all over her because she happens to be his highest attraction match in the whole neighborhood, but I haven't yet seen if she's ~~crazy and stupid~~ noteworthy enough to be an entertaining spouse. HMMMM.

I was curious to see the best scorers for April and Paloma, so in comes the super cheaty magic crystal date ball again!

April's high scorer is Eowyn, who was probably conceived at a Middle-earth LARPing festival...

While Paloma gets... NEW COACH?!

Paloma: MY BEST MATCH IS THE SCHOOL COACH? GOTTA BLEACH MY BRAIN FOR THIS ONE AHAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh man... I... I'm so sorry, Paloma. Life is terrible.
April: *thirdwheels*

Let's just focus on these two! Eowyn is a dickhead so that already scores points with me. Maybe April would like her too if only she'd STOP CREEPING AROUND BEHIND EVERYONE, COUGH COUGH

April: You mean I have to be ROMANTIC with my DATE? BLASPHEMY

THANK YOU. I'm so happy to have a date actually go right for once.

Dormguy Getskilled: Oh, those wacky lipstick lesbians!! Look at them go!

Way to be a dead fish there, Eowyn. This is giving me some horrible Guys and Dolls flashbacks.

You two really want to go marinate in the nasty post-sex water courtesy of Drew's sister? Nice.

Drew: woah i am seein shit man............
Time to stop hitting the pipe. Or Druggie. Either or, really.

Grim Reaper: Hey, your smoking partner just dropped dead.
Paloma: Doo de doo, not my business, doo de doo~

Paloma: Doot dee doo--OH COME ON, CAN'T I DO ANYTHING WITHOUT A DEAD BODY NEARBY

Paloma wins! Grim Reaper: 0, Wade: 284869850!

Oh no, Druggie!!! Drew is out at class so he can't come to her rescue...

Well, it was a valiant effort, but the girl is toast. ):

GOOD NIGHT, SWEET DRUGGIE. MAY FLIGHTS OF POTHEADS SING THEE TO THY REST
Koko: TOIIIIIILETTTTTSSSSSSSS

By the time he comes back from class, he's really not in the best of shape. ):

Drew: I'm not sure what just happened, but I feel okay now. Also some sexual attraction to the therapist might be involved.

Okay, please excuse her smelly armpits but LOOK AT THIS NEW DORMIE. LOOK AT HER. GIRL LOOKS LIKE A FREAKING DISNEY PRINCESS. SHE'S GOTTA GET IN THE FAMILY NOW.

Annie: He doesn't want to dance with me? wibble
Disney Dormie aka Annie immediately strikes out with Wade, but that's okay, because I don't want him having anything to do with her in the first place.

Instead, how about as Druggie-replacement spouse material for Drew, eh? Eh? Think about all the weird Barbie-head babies they could make!
Drew: UM, I NEED TO CONSULT MY LIFE COUNSELOR MR. BALLINGTON ABOUT THIS.

Back to April: a second trip to the crystal ball nets her this lady... Fleur Elise. Where in hippie pun hell did that name come from?!

Yes yes yes, I know the aroma of your dormmates is very distracting but can we please get over it and make with the pleasantries?

April: Whoops, sorry! Getting on with it!
Uh, that's not exactly what I meant--

SORRY CAN'T LEAVE, TOO BUSY MOSHING

Dayumn, so these two are actually three bolters. That explains the insta-sex! But like with Paula, I still dunno if that should cement her place as April's spouse. I need to know about her, so I'm gonna have April grill her on her interests!

Fleur Elise: WELL OBVIOUSLY I NOW OBSESS OVER YOU DURING MY EVERY WAKING MOMENT

Complete with obscene hand gestures. Apparently this is 'playing air guitar' in Maxis-land.

April approves!

Hey, doing an interview process isn't so bad after all! What's Annie like to do?
Annie: Well, I like to read...

Annie: ...AND DEMAND THE DESTRUCTION OF EVIL POLLUTING MEGACORPS. THOSE CRUEL BASTARDS ARE HOTBOXING MOTHER NATURE WITH SMOG AND DEATH!

Yes, if anyone is the giant earth-lovin' hippie around here, it's Annie. Her conversation topics revolve around THE ENVIRONMENT!!!! and not much else. I can dig a fellow dirty hippie!

Drew... approves.............???

Annie: HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF REDUCE, REUSE, RECYCLE?

Of course! Paloma always incorporates the three Rs into her life, such as by reusing her food as a projectile weapon!

Annie: Whore.
Now now, that's not in the Disney spirit.

Wow, this is the first dormie scare this gen that WASN'T fatal. Pissing your pants is actually an accomplishment here, buddy!

But it's another day, another death for Wade. Poor guy, somebody shoulda warned him about those stairs.

Ghost: WE - ARE - FAAAAAMILY! I GOT ALL MY GHOSTIES WITH ME! ♪
But Wade won't be one of them! HA!

DAMNIT WADE. KEEP YOUR SOUL IN YOUR PANTS OR WHEREVER IT GOES.

The dormie death toll has gotten high enough to where I need to move them off the lot. Too bad, I was really enjoying my new pastime of tasteful and mature urn art.

With this latest shipment of graves, the Dormie Hell graveyard is now absolutely packed full. That... sure is something. D8

Paloma has now moved on to stalking this random guy. I don't care how cute he is, she needs to move her eyes up to that speech bubble there. WHO DOESN'T LIKE MUSIC. PROBABLY SERIAL KILLERS.

Paloma: b-but you don't understand, I have to act like a romance sim for no good reason wah wah wah

Percy: Don't be sad! You're amazing and wonderful, not shitty and horrible like music!

UGH. Well whatever, you have fun with him. Don't come crying to me when he says that he wants to wear your skin.

Paloma: OSCAR IS SO HOT
Who? No really, I think he lasted like a day, tops.

Not that it matters as she hops in with Percy for sexy tub time!

OMG LOOK! SOMEBODY WHO IS ACTUALLY SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO RONNIE!

But this IS unlucky Ronnie we're talking about, so he gets scared to death before anything happens. ):

Again? AGAIN?!

Koko: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Drew: No. I don't care. ):

Meanwhile: more death. I know, shock and awe.

Dormie: LOOK, I DIED TOO! AND I PISSED MYSELF! BLEH!
Please, nobody likes a one upper.

Wade, thank you for being competent for once!
Wade: BOOM. DID YA SEE THAT SHIT I JUST LAID DOWN, WEIRD AL??

I would get mad that she keeps getting killed off... but she's just so cute! ♥

Drew: ...zzzzzz... NO DAD, COLLEGE IS GREAT DAD! HNNNGAAAAAAAH!
Thank god it's almost over. Just one... more... stupid... semester!

Ronnie is back! Who actually cares? Not me!

April has the bright idea to try her luck with dancing with Annie. We'll see how far THAT goes.

d e n i e d

That's right. If anybody's gonna shack up with Annie, it'll be Drew!
Annie: I DON'T EVEN LIKE HIM.

But she will settle for a little gossiping about how much Drew hates Percy. Er, and when did that happen, again??

Whatever. In any case, COLLEGE IS FINALLY OVER AND WE CAN GET OUT OF HERE

Paloma wins the honor of being the last Almassy to don the majestic pointy grad hat! Which is for the best; wearing that cap is torture.

Ronnie: PALOMA! PALOMA LET'S TAKE A GRAD PICTURE PLEEEEEAAAAASE
Paloma: lol no

Paula attended the party! But all she and Drew did was screw in the photobooth and then swoon about it for an eternity.

Followed up by Drew's puppydog-level stalking skills!
Drew: I LOVE YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU *heart aneurysm*

I lost Fae for most of the party, but I finally found her having a soak in the biohazard sex tub, naked. SCREAM

She didn't have an opportunity to fight anyone so I actually had a GOOD GRAD PARTY for once! I'm shocked!

Okay okay, make with the growing-up already!
Drew: HOLY SHIT DAD, YOU WERE JUST HERE. DON'T YOU FUCKING KNOW HOW COLLEGE WENT BY NOW

Paloma heads back off to the house in a surprisingly reasonable aging-up outfit.

Oh good, I thought the 'looking like a massive tool' quota would go unfulfilled. Thanks, Drew!

Capping off the heir trio is April, very mall goth chic!

And our wonderful spares: Wade!

Aaaaand Ronnie! Off to the spare house with you!

Welp, that's it for our stay at the illustrious DEATH DORM. It's entertained me for a good few years now so I think it's done its job well. I can really finally say goodbye.

Oh wait, I'm forgetting something!

There, that's better.

Koko: NOOOOOOOOO! YOU ASSHOOOOOOOOOOOLE!!
See ya in hell, Koko!

-------------------------------------------

OMG I'M SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG. But one last thing: if you wanted to grab anyone from generation 9, they're finally up for download on the downloads page! Okay, TIME TO GET MY ASS IN BED. See you next time!

Almassy Legacy [9.8]: Psychopomp and Circumstance

2014-08-14T20:14:46Z

STRAP ON IN Y'ALL, IT'S TIME FOR MR. BONES' WILD RIDE

Last time: all the kids finally hit teenhood and became ridiculously good-looking! Frey turned Paloma into a werewolf through the hilariously irresponsible means of savaging. Joseph died with no fanfare, except for the sweet, sweet inheritance money he left behind. Finally, there was THE HEIR POLL! Which I'll get to in a moment.

As it's the last generation attending university, I can't help but subject one final round of kids to the horrors of DEATH DORM. We haven't been here since generation 5 with Poppy and Violet! Gee, the place looks a lot less foreboding when it's not ringed by like sixty gravestones...

The biggest change THIS time around is that there's three heirs to contend with! I love all three so I'm actually very happy I decided to do the triple heirship ~~oh god I WILL PROBABLY REGRET SAYING THIS~~! April here won the heir poll but she doesn't get anything special for nabbing first place. Maybe I should've gotten her a tiara or a little party hat or something.

Also joining April is third-place winner Paloma...
Paloma: That's right, bask in my heirship glow. BASK IN IT.

...and second-place winner Drew, who already feels compelled to clean up some stagnant-ass pee puddle that's been hanging out on the floor for decades.

Gee, he looks so thrilled about his brand new position as heir. Don't break your face with that smile there, Drew.

Wade: FOURTH PLACE! I'M FOURTH PLACE! CAN'T TOUCH THIS! WOO!
I'm sad that Wade won't get to come back to the house, but at least becoming a spare is better than the stupid prize he could've gotten!

Because that unlucky fate goes to... RONNIE! Completely unsurprisingly!
Ronnie: Oh come on! I thought I put in a pretty good effort for heirship.
Wade: unf! oh yeah! too bad! got mine!

Uh yeah, laugh it up there, Ronnie. Wade won't be the only object of mockery around these parts!

There we go! Any good ~BOOBY PRIZE~ has to involve putting someone into a stupid costume! I originally wanted him to be in a fun social bunny suit but is it just me, or is it damn impossible to find an actual download of this thing?? Oh well, because of that the pink gorilla costume manages to be even MORE infuriating to look at.

But that's not all! Ronnie also wins a special new FANCY FUN RUMPUS ROOM!
Ronnie: .....what.

Seeing as how his dorm bed has conveniently gone missing, Ronnie's options to raise his energy bar involve either passing out on the floor or taking a chance on the horrifying-looking energizer. Seriously, just look at this thing. This shit is powered by bleach, leaky car batteries and a potato.

Ronnie: Hey, I get to pick the major I wanted so HA! One point for me!
See, I'm not THAT mean! Ronnie's gonna need those aspiration points! ...Okay, so it was the drama major he wanted. How could I not give it to him?

Alcoholism already, boys?
Drew: Yep.
Wade: Waaaaaaay ahead of you!

Drew found the Pineapple Keg of Booze and Death. Drew then proceeded to polish off said Pineapple Keg of Booze and Death ALL BY HIMSELF. DO THE WORDS 'ALCOHOL POISONING' MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?

April: Soooooooooo...... are you ever going to talk to me?
Apparently not, since they were both happy to silently eat their dinner together. Their relationship is basically at zero and they never interact, it's weird! D:<

Paloma: WHOOPS 'SCUSE ME BRO. *whack*
Drew: OW!
But Paloma has ways of forcing human interaction!

Cafeteria Cook: Oooooooh! That brooding stare... those long, luscious locks... what a dreamboat!!
Uh, are you thinking of the right guy? Because he's no Fabio.

Cafeteria Cook: I'm being overwhelmed by the buring hot flames of DESIRE! TAKE ME NOW, YOU HUNK!

April: DAMN LADY, HOW IS IT YOU SUCK SO BAD?
I DON'T KNOW. Even when she cooks non-burnt food, it barely fills up the hunger bar.

Everyone: ZOMG FIRE!!!!
Drew: *calmly watches lunch lady nearly burn to death*
I hope everyone who voted for Drew in the poll is as entertained as I am right now.

Ronnie: AHEM, I AM JUST TOO SLEEPY TO COMBAT STARVATION
Can Ronnie manage to eat his dinner before falling into a narcoleptic coma? Catch the SUSPENSE, DRAMA, and ACTION on an all-new episode of... THE ALMASSY LEGACY!

Attempt #1: FAIL.

Gorilla: NOMNOMOMONOM
Ooooh, so close there. Unfortunately inhaling food through your sinuses and/or gorilla head doesn't count. ):

Success!!!1!

Koko: Somebody's cheering woke me up from my dirt nap and I. DON'T. LIKE IT.
GASP IT'S KOKO!!!! HEY, GIRL!

Cheerleader: We'll beat you here, we'll beat you there-! I'm not wearing underwear-! YAAAAAAAAAAY.... TEAM!
Koko: Uh huh. That's nice.

Koko: NOW TIME TO CHEER IN HELL!

Koko: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Oh crazy, murderous Koko, I missed you. :)

Hey, where did your cute hair go? :(
Koko: How should I know? I've only been dead for TWO HUNDRED YEARS NOW GRRRRRRRRR

Koko: BOO, YOU WHORE
Koko wastes no time in attacking whoever decided to stick around after dark and get inebriated. D.A.R.E. should make her their fucking mascot.

Redhead: BLARF
Dormie: WAAAAAAAH! If only she could have experienced the carnal pleasure of my manmeat before she died!

Grim Reaper: ALREADY? Guess I can't complain, I need the airtime.
Don't forget those great frequent flyer miles you must be racking up!

Koko: GOD YOUR COSTUME IS SO ANNOYING TO LOOK AT! JUST DIE!
Ronnie: YAAAAAAAAARGH!
Yes, stupid Ronnie kept wandering downstairs so it was only a matter of time before Koko nabbed him. But amazingly he didn't die! Let's see how long that streak lasts, hmm? (hint: NOT LONG)

Koko: WHERE DA FUCK IS MY TOILET???
I SOLD IT LIKE SIX GENERATIONS AGO. GET OVER IT ALREADY.

Okay, if there's one thing you DON'T want to have in the death dorm, it's lycanthropy. As soon as Paloma hulks out into werewolf-mode, she no longer wants to sleep (so there goes my first-line ghost defense) and she wants to hang out downstairs so she can stuff her face and drink all night.

Paloma: See how I smashed this cup? That's what I'm gonna do to that ghost!

Threatening to fight ghosts AND rampant keg guzzling? BAD! BAD DOG!

Somehow she manages not to get scared to death, so she gets to live another day. Why not celebrate by breaking into someone's dorm room?
Dormie: GOOD MORNING BITCH. PLEASE LEAVE MY ROOM

Paloma: Don't you want to hang out? I know, we can talk about CHESSSSSSSSSSS!!
Excuse me, are you dissing my heir? I think you're in for a chessmaster whoopass, lady.

I've had these big boobie nightgowns in my game for awhile but still haven't used them, so I finally decided to just slap one onto Paloma. The local student body gives her fashion sense two thumbs up!!

Shane: WE'RE COMPLETE STRANGERS AND YET I AM SUDDENLY COMPELLED TO HUG YOU

Gee, I wonder why?

Paloma: Look, you're kinda dweeby, so you better be packing a huge rocket in there. I'm talking like ARM-LENGTH.

Paloma: Then maybe... *whisper* you can even put it up there.
Shane: :O
I apologize for having the audacity to make the rocket buttsex joke. I have shamed my entire family.

Drew has ascended to Alcoholism Nirvana. No longer content with being confined to the physical realm of red Solo cups, he can now drink punch from his hand and rematerialize more booze at will. Somebody's going to have a nasty case of beer bladder.

Drew: Don't worry, already figured out how to solve that problem.
NO. YOU CANNOT TURN YOUR BODY INTO A CONSTANT PUNCH-PROCESSING FACTORY.

Isn't it lonely having no friends--- no friends at aaaaaaaall---

For whatever reason, social reject Drew is the child that Orion wants to constantly call on the phone.

Drew: Oh yes dad, college is JUST GREAT. Makes me want to eat a bullet! :D

In "old as dirt gossip" news, the old tale of Candace handing Fae's ass to her in college is still getting passed around on the university circuit.

Fae: YOU MEAN MOM CAN'T FIGHT WORTH A DAMN? GASP!

Also: more creeper dormies! OH BOY OH BOY! BREASTS ARE BESTS!!

Who WOULDN'T turn to the bubble bong living in this heap.

You can't even pour your own shitty punch cup anymore?? Time to get cut off!

Dormie: Don't worry, I already figured out you're a dopey virgin. On an unrelated note, please stand at least five feet away from me at all times

Meet Druggie. Druggie is my new favorite dormie because she looks like she hasn't slept in a week and she probably burned off her eyebrows in a meth lab explosion. Wade is obsessed with her for reasons unknown.
Wade: WHAT THE FUCK, YOU'RE TERRIBLE AT PINBALL

Wade: YOU LIKE SUMMER??! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU
Arguing with women non-stop: sure to win the heart of any gal! This relationship advice brought to you free by Wade!

Did you see Ronnie in the back there? Here is his current state of affairs:
Ronnie: HALP! I'M TOO TIRED TO RIDE THIS BIKE!

Ronnie: *passes out* NO IT'S TOO LOUD TO FALL ASLEEP RIGHT NOW

Ronnie: Guess I'll just go back on the bike. BUT WAIT, I'M REALLY TIRED
Repeat ad nauseum. SIGH.

Time to try this puppy out!

Ronnie: Ooooh, tingly! Hey, this isn't so bad. :D

Ronnie: NO WAIT YES IT IS. BAD TOUCH, BAD TOOOOUUUUUUCH

I never use the energizer so I forgot that you can pull them out early, which really helps if they're getting zapped to death (like poor Ronnie was). Okay, so his motive failure is even WORSE now, but at least he survived! Right?... Eh... heh...

Ronnie: OH WHY DID PALOMA BECOME HEIR INSTEAD OF ME
Is this even a question worth answering? Moving on.

Wade: You're so beautiful! Who says you need eyebrows to be sexy?
Druggie: FUCK OFF

Wade: Wanna play hackysack with me?
Druggie: NO.

Wade: How about football?
Druggie: NO.

Wade: HOW DARE YOU REJECT MY SEXUAL ADVANCES!!!

Oh? With Drew? Well that's random, but okay.

Drew: WOW, YOU CAN GET HIGH JUST FROM LICKING HER SLURP KISS KISS
Like a toad?

Wade moves on to greener, also eyebrow-less pastures. At least this lady likes what she sees!

OH COME ON. I LOOKED AWAY FOR LITERALLY FIVE SECONDS.

Koko: TOIIIIILEEEEEETSSSSSSSSS
Will Wade successfully save her from the evil clutches of Koko and Grimmy?

HA! Of course not.

Wade: Oh well. Back to the punch! GARGLEARGLEARGLEARGLE
Paloma: Hello? Don't leave your corpses on the floor, it's dangerous. I could've tripped!

At least Drew manages to actually HAVE a romantic prospect.

Ronnie is too tired to eat and too hungry to sleep, so at the moment he's basically non-functioning. A second gamble on the energizer didn't go so well. ):

Then after he stepped out, he was scared to death by... absolutely nothing??

Koko: Wasn't me!
HMMMMMMM. Well... she was downstairs, but I also know that she has completely unfair ninja scaring powers.

He died as he lived - sprawled out in a smelly gorilla suit. RIP

Okay okay, he won't get murdered that easily. 'Cause cutie-butt April is ON THE CASE!

April: Pweeeeease bring him back? Don't make me kick your bony ass.

Paloma: LOL MATH MAJORS, I TELL YA
Thank god April made it here in time, because Paloma decided to be an extremely useless bystander.

April: OH YEAH! I AM THE MASTER! WOOHOOOOOOOO!
YUSSSS. Almassys: 1, Grim: 0 in this gen!

April: Wait, what did I do? I've just toyed with the laws of nature!
Don't worry, you get used to it.

So Ronnie returns to the land of the living, for better or for worse!
Poster Lady: *does, in fact, not give a shit*

Of course I can't ever catch a break, because Paloma gets killed off later that night since she just HAD to have a snack before going to bed.

Hey Ronnie, mind helping out your... sister...? OH GODDAMNIT, KOKO. STOP NINJA-KILLING EVERYBODY.

Wade is the best candidate to help here buuuuuut as you can see, he's currently occupied with laying unconscious in a pool of his own bodily waste. Koko is a smart broad. And April is asleep, so she won't be able to reach Paloma in time...

So that leaves us with only one choice, the very responsible and compassionate Drew!!
Drew: UGH, HER STINKY CORPSE IS GROSSING ME OUT.

Drew: Please, please save her! Or not, I don't really care. Whatever.

Drew: SON OF A BITCH
DREEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW!!!

I'm just letting Grim take Ronnie. It's not worth saving spares when heirs get ghost-murdered while attempting to plead for them. :(

Having your siblings die off horribly? Meh. Making your bed? WOW THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER YAY!!!!

Drew: I am SO PISSED at Paloma!!
OH REALLY DREW????? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN? Now I know it would've taken a miracle for Drew to have successfully rescued Paloma. Seriously, I have no idea what she apparently did. Don't tell me he's THAT much of a baby about getting elbowed in the face.

Hi again, Orion! Might not be a good time to tell him that two of his kids already bit it after a semester at college.

Man, even Wade has nightmares about Wade.

Wade: Heh, you see this hot backrub in action over here? This could be for YOU!
Um, gross. Go away.

I need my heir for more important things, like SIBLING RESCUE!

Welcome back, girly! Only Paloma returned though, because I just could NOT handle the thought of having to wrangle Ronnie after dealing with all that crap. He'll be back next update!

April: I've thwarted death again! I HAVE BECOME LIKE A GOD!

Oops, looks like Drew and Druggie are at it again. It's a match made in substance abuse heaven!

Wade: MAN, SHE'S SOOOOOOOOOOOO HOT
Yeah, I don't think it's going to happen for you. Dream on.

Wade: That's right, baby. I'm talkin' about you. ♥
Can't a girl fucking pass out on the floor in peace around here? Geez. Anyways, that's enough death and destruction for one update; this is only the first year of college. O_O Next time: hopefully some successful spouse-hunting for the heirs! Until then... see you next update! And thanks for reading!

TS4 demo fun

2014-08-13T04:55:03Z

So I spent a good chunk of time today farting around in the CAS demo like I thought I might, so I'm just going to dump what I worked on here and talk about it a bit. Posting on LJ counts as being productive, right? Right?!

I'm one of those players who never makes original sims (let alone try my hand at making RL people and celebrities or something) so my opinion on TS4's sim-making capabilities doesn't hold a lot of weight, but I'm surprised at how much I like the push-and-pull shaping system. It's pretty fiddly and it seems like it could be a lot less moddable than sliders, but I got a hang of it much better than I ever did in TS3's CAS. (SO MANY SLIDERS AND ALL I COULD MAKE WERE DOUGH FACES. THEN I DOWNLOADED TWENTY NEW SLIDERS AND I STILL HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WAS DOING. AAAAAAHHHHHH) Atm it really works for my means, which is currently trying to cross over some TS2 sims and see how they look.

First up is Micah, one of my old-as-balls born-in-game sims! Basically my MO is to: 1) get the TS4 version at least somewhat close to the TS2 version with my weak-ass face sculpting skills, and 2) proceed to edit the fuck out of it in photoshop.

before editing

after editing

after + sharpen + bb brightening and saturation

close up!

DAYUMN. HE LOOKS GOOD. The editing he got was:
- longer, choppier hair
- gave him a yellower undertone to his skin (I really like all the skins available but I do need more. I'm used to the twenty bajillion skins at my disposal in TS2)
- drew on the phobia/sahara eye style that I use
- MORE FRECKLES (again, the TS4 freckles are okay but I have a problem with freckles)
- carved out the nose and nostrils like a nosemask
- a little blush, a little shadow, darker lip dimples, etc etc etc

I did Georgia too because I always wondered how she'd look in non-TS2 games. How'd she fare?

before editing

after editing

after + sharpen + bb brightening and saturation

close up!

Ahhhh... I like how Micah turned out a lot better. But George definitely improved a lot more with the editing imo; I'm not a big fan of the in-game blonde colors, plus she needs to have a freckle-bonanza on her face. (I did make her hair too yellow though... plus I forgot that she has grey eyes. SORRY GEORGE.)

So anyway, I guess the main point of this is: DEAR GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE CC THAT LOOKS LIKE THIS HNNNNNGGGGG. I really, really love how the sims in this game look, they have AWESOME potential. Now the gameplay part, though... yeah. I'm still not convinced the real meat and potatoes of the game can really stand up on its own two feet. Three more weeks until we find out for sure at the TS4'pocalypse...