procrasturbates — Mon, 18 May 2009 03:30:25 GMT

(10:23:51 PM) Setine: if i wasn't like 6'3 in all the shoes i want
(10:23:56 PM) Setine: i would have a million of them
(10:24:03 PM) Setine: i once got a GUESS purse for thirty bucks
(10:24:13 PM) Me: is 6'3 the size?
(10:24:19 PM) Setine: ...
(10:24:21 PM) Setine: height.
(10:24:21 PM) Tif: ...6'3" is her height in high heels.
(10:24:22 PM) Suki: ...

I swear to God I am the dumbest person alive.

procrasturbates — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 01:21:40 GMT

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: WASSSSSSSSSSSSUP
You: HI!
Stranger: OMG WHO ARE YOU
You: I'M SUPERMAN.
Stranger: HOLY HELL. OMG. YOU SAVED MY LIFE ONE TIME.
You: DID I? I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER MAN.
Stranger: FUCK YES. OMG AND I NEVER GET TO THANK YOU. I'M PRETTY SURE YOU WERE ROLLING OR SOMETHING.
You: OH MY GOD. THIS IS SO INSANE, I NEVER RUN INTO THESE PEOPLE AGAIN. AWKWARD...
Stranger: THAT'S OKAY. SOME DUDE WAS TRYING TO TAKE MY MONEY. YOU ROCK HARD.
Stranger: I'M SO HAPPY I GET TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN.
You: I TRY MAN, I TRY.
You: AWW, I'M FLATTERED!
Stranger: (YOU ARE PRETTY FOXY, BTW.)
You: (YOU TOO LMAO.)
Stranger: HELL YEAH. DO YOU REMEMBER ME? I WAS THAT HOT CHICK WITH THE LONG RED HAIR AND KILLER ASS.
You: ...OH YEAH. NOW I REMEMBER.
You: NOT THAT I WAS LOOKING!!!!
Stranger: PSH THAT'S OKAY MAN. I'M SURE BEING SUPERMAN....I MEAN, SOME GIRLS WOULD BE A LITTLE INTIMIDATED.
Stranger: BANGING SUPERMAN. THAT'S QUITE AN ACHIEVEMENT. IT'D BE A PEAK IN MOST ANYBODY'S LIFE MAN.
You: YEAH MAN, SOMETIMES. I DON'T REALLY GO TO BARS TO GET ASS, EITHER. THAT WAS A RUMOR.
Stranger: SHIT MAN I KNEW THAT. I TRUST YOU.
You: OH YEAH, IT'S HARD. AM I A BIRD, AM I A PLANE? NAW, I'M FUCKING SUPERMAN!!!!1
Stranger: YOU THE BOMB MAN.
You: MY LIFE IS SO HARD!
You: THANK YOU SWEET THANG.
Stranger: AND I BET IT'S TOUGH, WITH ALL THOSE BIG, STRONG MUSCLES.
Stranger: HIDING YOUR ~SUPERPOWERS~
You: THEY GET IN THE WAY SOMETIMES, BEING SO HARD AND THROBBING.
Stranger: HELL YEAH. CHRIST. I'D TAP THAT, THOUGH.
Stranger: YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'
You: OH THANK YOU. I WOULD, TOO. ACTUALLY, I TRIED ONCE...DIDN;T END WELL. I KIND OF--BUT YEAH, ANYWAY. I MEAN, I WOULDN'T SAY NO, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
Stranger: BUT DAMN. YOU KNOW THOSE LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS. AND YOU PROBABLY WOULDN'T HAVE A LOT OF TIME....UNLESS YOU'RE LIKE, A TWO-PUMP CHUMP.
Stranger: WHICH IS TOTALLY COOL IF YOU ARE.
Stranger: I STILL LOVE YOU.
You: I'M SUPERMAN, I MAKE TIME FOR PEOPLE IN NEED. IF YOU'RE IN NEED OF WHAT I THINK YOU'RE SAYING YOU'RE IN NEED OF, I'M SAVING YOUR LIFE. IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
Stranger: I'M IN NEED OF THE GREATEST NEED ;)
You: I'LL BE THERE!!!
Stranger: REMEMBER WHERE YOU SAVED ME? ACROSS THE STREET FROM BRYANT PARK, AT THE STARBUCKS?
Stranger: IN NEW YORK?
You: YES I DO.
You: LOOKING BACK ON IT NOW, I THINK THIS IS FATE. YOUR ASS LOOKED LOVELY--HOW IS YOUR ASS?
Stranger: BE THERE. TEN O'CLOCK. TOMORROW NIGHT.
You: OHH BABY.
Stranger: MY ASS IS DOING AWESOME.
You: I'LL BE THERE ON TIME TO RESCUE YOU!!!
You: OH SWEET!
Stranger: IT'S FEELING VERY LOVED AND IMPACIENT RIGHT NOW.
Stranger: AND I MAY BE EARLY, MAN.
You: IT WILL BE FEELING MY THROBBING MANHOOD SOON ENOUGH.
Stranger: OOH LA LA. CAN YOU FLY ME TO PARIS?
You: I CERTAINLY CAN!!!!
Stranger: GOOD. MY ASS SAYS HI.
You: TELL IT I STILL LOVE IT!
Stranger: IT SAYS YOU'LL HAVE TO PROVE THAT TOMORROW.
You: TELL IT "IT'S ON"!!!!
Stranger: OH BUT IT'S A LITTLE GUILTY-FEELING, TOO.
Stranger: BECAUSE I HAVE A BOYFRIEND.
Stranger: IS THIS OKAY?
You: IT'S OKAY, HE CAN BE THE BAD GUY. GIVES ME A REASON TO KILL THE FUCKER.....
Stranger: BUT MY BOYFRIEND'S MADE OF KRYPTONITE. WHAT WILL YOU DO?
You: ...FUCK SHIT DICK.
You: FUCK MY FUCKING LIFE.
Stranger: I'M SO SORRY
Stranger: WE MIGHT BE ABLE TO PULL IT OFF THOUGH.
Stranger: MY ASS IS VERY TORN RIGHT NOW.
You: FUCK I'LL TRY FOR THAT ASS!!! BUT FUCK MY GODDAMN LIFE, WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS FUCKING CRAP!!!!!!!!
You: IT WILL BE MORE TORN WHEN I SEE IT TOMORROW!!!
Stranger: I DON'T KNOW BABY! AND MAN, DON'T TEMPT ME.
Stranger: I'M GOING TO DO MY BEST.
You: MY COCK'S AS TIGHT AND JUICY AS MY MUSCLES BABY.
Stranger: MY POOR ASS =(
Stranger: SO SAD RIGHT NOW
You: I'LL CHEER IT UP!!!!
Stranger: OMG MY BOYFRIEND JUST WALKED IN. WE HAVE TO KEEP THIS AFFAIR ON THE D-L.
Stranger: TEN O'CLOCK. REMEMBER.
You: I'LL NEVER FORGET BABY.
Stranger: NEVER!!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

if i go crazy then will you still call me superman?