30_jewels, char: Lia
Author: 
fireflypenance
Title: Pretend to be Strong
Characters/Paring/Group: Arabella "Lia" Ardelia
Word Count: 1176
Table/Prompt: 1-10: weak
Rating/Warnings: PG. No warnings.
Summary: Set between the end of Invisible Ring and the epilogue. Lia finally awakens and realizes that Jared is gone. She must find strength, or lose herself.
Author's Note: My first attempt at writing Lady Ardelia, and while I find her easy, I'm not sure I've gotten her exactly right yet. I hope you enjoy anyway. Reviews are more than welcome.
It was nearly the end of the first full day back in Dena Nehele when Lia finally woke. Her head ached, and she felt terribly weak, and she couldn't explain why for a moment. She blinked and sat up, marveling at the soft, pale blue curtains. Her hand ran over the downy comforter, wondering if it had been a dream. She swung her feet over the side, and pushed to stand. Her legs were shaky, but held. She looked around the room and her eyes were drawn to a small, flat cedar box.
Inside, she suddenly knew, lay her Gray Jewel. It had not been a dream.
She was running, then. She wanted to know, who was here, what had happened. The questions settled on her shoulders, heavy and imposing. She didn't bother to reach out, searching for familiar psychic scents.
She burst from her door and nearly ran into one of the footman unobtrusively standing guard by her door. “Lady Lia!” He caught her, steadied her, a look of concern almost too much. She nodded a thanks and ran onward. She didn't think of how she was dressed. A cotton nightgown and a soft pair of plaid pants. She looked no image of Queen, with her tangled brown hair about her face and her gray eyes full of concern.
Lia came to her grandmother's suite. It hadn't been far to run, but she was winded. Her chest heaved, and she hesitated. Years of learning had taught her that one did not enter the Queen's suite without knocking. Even her favorite granddaughter was not immune to the moment it took her to knock.
A noise from within signaled permission to enter, and she took it. She opened the door and stepped inside. Some part of her was not surprised to see her grandmother's private sitting room rather occupied.
Her grandmother looked up from the chair she usually occupied for chats here. Grizelle was no older, but some of her stress faded upon seeing her granddaughter upright. Lia's mother smiled a greeting, her relief more evident than Grizelle's, but she stayed in her seat, as her Queen had done. They had such pride in their eyes.
Thera didn't stay seated, despite the formidable witches she was having a late tea with. She came to Lia and embraced her. Lia clung to the strength she'd found: Thera was a dear friend, and she had been the only reason that Lia had succeeded, she knew. As she pulled away from one another, Lia realized that her eyes had filled with tears, and she swiped at them.
“You're alright.” Thera said simply, and there were a million meanings in those two words. Lia understood them all. She held on to her friend's arm as she turned to face her grandmother... and her Queen.
“I have returned, Lady.” she said with great effort. “I have brought back the witches and the males,” her tears were back. She thought of those she couldn't' save, of those who had betrayed, of those who had stood by her.
“You have done excellent work, Lady Ardelia.” her grandmother said. But then formality fled the old woman's eyes, and she looked Lia over. Lia wanted to squirm, wondering what her grandmother saw there. “Come, sit. Have some tea.” she said simply. Thera looked a little put off, but Lia felt the tension in her back roll out.
“I would like to join you, but... I want to know what happened to those that I brought here with me. How are they?” How is Jared, she thought. And where is here? It was the first time she'd allowed herself to think solely of him since awakening.
She only realized something was wrong because of Thera. Her grandmother and mother were excellent actors. They would have waited for her to have something to eat and sit down, and eased the information out for her. But Thera's hand tightened just a little too hard on Lia's elbow and she knew. She turned to look at Thera, and felt the same despair that was in those green eyes.
“He's gone. With Talon.” Thera said swiftly.
“He left?” Lia couldn't believe it. How could he leave her, and without so much as a goodbye. “He couldn't have. He wouldn't...” Had she been really so wrong about him? So many times she'd doubted him, and now it was for another reason. Her chest ached. She turned to look at her grandmother and mother, feeling her face twisting into her tears. She could have sworn she felt the pain from her heart to the tips of her fingers, and back again.
“Mama?” she managed. Her mother came around the table swiftly and closed her arms around the girl, rocking her as if she were a young girl who had just felt her first heartache.
“Oh, Bella, Bella, my darling.” She cooed. Thera took a step back, unsure of her place in the place of such sorrow. Lia buried her face in her mother's shoulder and cried. She had trusted him and he had left her. In that moment she wondered if she would ever see him again. She felt dirty, and used, and very very cold.
“Lia. He left you something.” Thera said very softly, which was strange since Thera was not soft at all. She was all hard edges and prickly surfaces. Lia wasn't afraid of being pricked, but she still did not think Thera was soft. “Here.” Thera insisted.
Lia turned away from her mother to see a honey pear tree sapling, and remembered it as being one that his mother had tended before she died. If she looked, she may still find the smear of blood from her own finger on a leaf. She studied that plant with its elegant height despite being so small, and felt her tears still.
It wasn't enough. For a moment she wanted to believe that this meant he would return, that he had really loved her. But it wasn't enough, and she didn't believe, and it meant nothing. Still, she reached a hand out and touched a leaf, running a finger along it.
“It's too late in the season to plant it. It wouldn't survive the winter.” Her voice was a lesson in distance, in numbness. She'd felt too many emotions too quickly. She was exhausted.
“No, but we can keep it inside. It will survive fine in that pot for the winter. This spring we can find a spot and plant it. Perhaps in the south orchard.” Grizelle had risen and was speaking quite calmly as she looked at it. “Come along, Lia, there are a number of others who will want to see you are well.” she said. Lia nodded, and was led slowly from the room by her grandmother. She did not look over her shoulder at her mother or Thera. She walked proudly forward, one foot in front of the other, and did as any Queen must: she pretended she was strong until she found strength enough to fill her.
Author:fireflypenance
Title: Ghosts in Winter
Characters/Paring/Group: Arabella "Lia" Ardelia
Word Count: 777
Table/Prompt: 1-25: nightmares
Rating/Warnings: PG. No warnings.
Summary: Lia is not prepared for all of the change that is approaching, and she is afraid she is not strong enough.
Author's Note: Second in the series of thirty. Not chronological.
The ghost of moonlight touched the snow, lighting the land like it so rarely was at night. It was entrancing to most, but haunting to the future Queen of Dena Nehele. Lia's fingers traced gently against the glass of the window through which she watched her land. She saw no life, merely cold apathy, and she hated feeling this way. He bare feet against the tile floor were cold, her hand against the glass felt the chill as well. She had left her bathrobe in her quarters, as well as her living pillow.
Jared didn't need to know about the nightmares. He didn't need to know how much doubt she felt. One protective hand rested on her stomach.
The land may still be at peace, as much as any land standing in constant watch against Dorothea's rule, but Lia felt the fear of the people seeping into the land. Along every nerve, it burned, and she knew that she would not be able to hold off the threat of Hayll forever. Even if Dena Nehele did not fall in her lifetime, she would fall.
Lia did not want to face this. Lady Ardelia needed to, so she could work to stop it. It was a dualistic way to think about herself, and probably not healthy, but she knew she must. She must divide herself into the role of Queen and the role of witch. The Queen would rule and rule justly, as she had been taught, as her own sense of morals demanded. The witch would attempt to carve a section of the Queen's time away for her own life, for her Consort who would soon be her husband.
For the child she carried within her.
Her stomach was long beyond the point she could hide the pregnancy. Jared was nervous, terrified he was going to be a horrible father. Lia had no doubts about his role as father, or his role as her husband. No, it was her own role she had doubts about.
She remembered the nightmare and shuddered. Fire, and screaming, and all the while she could hear the baby crying. She could hear the baby, but she couldn't find it. The fear alone woke her, sweat sheening on her skin, and her hair damp and limp. She'd risen from bed, tossing on only a thin nightgown before fleeing to stand just here.
She feared her impending motherhood. She feared her grandmother's declining health. She feared her ascent as Territory Queen. Her grandmother intended her to take over full duties a mere month after delivering her child.
Arabella Ardelia was not ready for the world to change in so many ways.
“Lia?”
The sleepy voice was one of the last Lia would have expected to hear. Not Thera, but Blaed. She turned to watch him approach, with his sleep tousled hair and night clothes askew. Why was he up, she wondered. She asked him just that.
“Blaed? What are you doing up?”
“Midnight ritual. I get up, head to the kitchen, eat, and bring a snack back for Thera.” he explained with a small, fond, smile. Lia smirked despite herself, but it soon fled.
Thera and Blaed had returned to the capital recently. At first Thera had said she wanted to be here early, to settle in before Lia formed her Court. Since it was assumed Thera would serve in Lia's Court, few questioned that answer. Lia did. When pressed, Thera had said she wanted to be around for Lia's pregnancy.
Lia didn't buy that either. She suspected Thera knew something and simply wasn't sharing, which only made Lia more and more nervous as her delivery approached. She suspected something would be wrong with her baby, something Thera hoped to stop or fix, but something that Thera wouldn't tell her. She was nearly in tears.
“Lia?”
“Good evening, Prince Blaed.” She hurried past him, as if she were on the way back to her own bedchambers. After some consideration, and hesitation outside of them, she did step inside. She discarded her nightgown and returned to bed, stretching out on her side of the bed, and staring at the golden skin of her intended's back. She curled close to it, but he stirred and turned over, gathering her into his arms sleepily and curling around her. She appreciated the warmth, and the strength.
Jared's strength had been her comfort for some time now. She was not weak without him, but right now she felt it. She hoped, desperately hoped, it was the hormones that were doing this to her.
But she couldn't begin to believe that, and laid awake for the rest of the night.
fireflypenanceTitle: Pretend to be Strong
Characters/Paring/Group: Arabella "Lia" Ardelia
Word Count: 1176
Table/Prompt: 1-10: weak
Rating/Warnings: PG. No warnings.
Summary: Set between the end of Invisible Ring and the epilogue. Lia finally awakens and realizes that Jared is gone. She must find strength, or lose herself.
Author's Note: My first attempt at writing Lady Ardelia, and while I find her easy, I'm not sure I've gotten her exactly right yet. I hope you enjoy anyway. Reviews are more than welcome.
It was nearly the end of the first full day back in Dena Nehele when Lia finally woke. Her head ached, and she felt terribly weak, and she couldn't explain why for a moment. She blinked and sat up, marveling at the soft, pale blue curtains. Her hand ran over the downy comforter, wondering if it had been a dream. She swung her feet over the side, and pushed to stand. Her legs were shaky, but held. She looked around the room and her eyes were drawn to a small, flat cedar box.
Inside, she suddenly knew, lay her Gray Jewel. It had not been a dream.
She was running, then. She wanted to know, who was here, what had happened. The questions settled on her shoulders, heavy and imposing. She didn't bother to reach out, searching for familiar psychic scents.
She burst from her door and nearly ran into one of the footman unobtrusively standing guard by her door. “Lady Lia!” He caught her, steadied her, a look of concern almost too much. She nodded a thanks and ran onward. She didn't think of how she was dressed. A cotton nightgown and a soft pair of plaid pants. She looked no image of Queen, with her tangled brown hair about her face and her gray eyes full of concern.
Lia came to her grandmother's suite. It hadn't been far to run, but she was winded. Her chest heaved, and she hesitated. Years of learning had taught her that one did not enter the Queen's suite without knocking. Even her favorite granddaughter was not immune to the moment it took her to knock.
A noise from within signaled permission to enter, and she took it. She opened the door and stepped inside. Some part of her was not surprised to see her grandmother's private sitting room rather occupied.
Her grandmother looked up from the chair she usually occupied for chats here. Grizelle was no older, but some of her stress faded upon seeing her granddaughter upright. Lia's mother smiled a greeting, her relief more evident than Grizelle's, but she stayed in her seat, as her Queen had done. They had such pride in their eyes.
Thera didn't stay seated, despite the formidable witches she was having a late tea with. She came to Lia and embraced her. Lia clung to the strength she'd found: Thera was a dear friend, and she had been the only reason that Lia had succeeded, she knew. As she pulled away from one another, Lia realized that her eyes had filled with tears, and she swiped at them.
“You're alright.” Thera said simply, and there were a million meanings in those two words. Lia understood them all. She held on to her friend's arm as she turned to face her grandmother... and her Queen.
“I have returned, Lady.” she said with great effort. “I have brought back the witches and the males,” her tears were back. She thought of those she couldn't' save, of those who had betrayed, of those who had stood by her.
“You have done excellent work, Lady Ardelia.” her grandmother said. But then formality fled the old woman's eyes, and she looked Lia over. Lia wanted to squirm, wondering what her grandmother saw there. “Come, sit. Have some tea.” she said simply. Thera looked a little put off, but Lia felt the tension in her back roll out.
“I would like to join you, but... I want to know what happened to those that I brought here with me. How are they?” How is Jared, she thought. And where is here? It was the first time she'd allowed herself to think solely of him since awakening.
She only realized something was wrong because of Thera. Her grandmother and mother were excellent actors. They would have waited for her to have something to eat and sit down, and eased the information out for her. But Thera's hand tightened just a little too hard on Lia's elbow and she knew. She turned to look at Thera, and felt the same despair that was in those green eyes.
“He's gone. With Talon.” Thera said swiftly.
“He left?” Lia couldn't believe it. How could he leave her, and without so much as a goodbye. “He couldn't have. He wouldn't...” Had she been really so wrong about him? So many times she'd doubted him, and now it was for another reason. Her chest ached. She turned to look at her grandmother and mother, feeling her face twisting into her tears. She could have sworn she felt the pain from her heart to the tips of her fingers, and back again.
“Mama?” she managed. Her mother came around the table swiftly and closed her arms around the girl, rocking her as if she were a young girl who had just felt her first heartache.
“Oh, Bella, Bella, my darling.” She cooed. Thera took a step back, unsure of her place in the place of such sorrow. Lia buried her face in her mother's shoulder and cried. She had trusted him and he had left her. In that moment she wondered if she would ever see him again. She felt dirty, and used, and very very cold.
“Lia. He left you something.” Thera said very softly, which was strange since Thera was not soft at all. She was all hard edges and prickly surfaces. Lia wasn't afraid of being pricked, but she still did not think Thera was soft. “Here.” Thera insisted.
Lia turned away from her mother to see a honey pear tree sapling, and remembered it as being one that his mother had tended before she died. If she looked, she may still find the smear of blood from her own finger on a leaf. She studied that plant with its elegant height despite being so small, and felt her tears still.
It wasn't enough. For a moment she wanted to believe that this meant he would return, that he had really loved her. But it wasn't enough, and she didn't believe, and it meant nothing. Still, she reached a hand out and touched a leaf, running a finger along it.
“It's too late in the season to plant it. It wouldn't survive the winter.” Her voice was a lesson in distance, in numbness. She'd felt too many emotions too quickly. She was exhausted.
“No, but we can keep it inside. It will survive fine in that pot for the winter. This spring we can find a spot and plant it. Perhaps in the south orchard.” Grizelle had risen and was speaking quite calmly as she looked at it. “Come along, Lia, there are a number of others who will want to see you are well.” she said. Lia nodded, and was led slowly from the room by her grandmother. She did not look over her shoulder at her mother or Thera. She walked proudly forward, one foot in front of the other, and did as any Queen must: she pretended she was strong until she found strength enough to fill her.
Author:
fireflypenanceTitle: Ghosts in Winter
Characters/Paring/Group: Arabella "Lia" Ardelia
Word Count: 777
Table/Prompt: 1-25: nightmares
Rating/Warnings: PG. No warnings.
Summary: Lia is not prepared for all of the change that is approaching, and she is afraid she is not strong enough.
Author's Note: Second in the series of thirty. Not chronological.
The ghost of moonlight touched the snow, lighting the land like it so rarely was at night. It was entrancing to most, but haunting to the future Queen of Dena Nehele. Lia's fingers traced gently against the glass of the window through which she watched her land. She saw no life, merely cold apathy, and she hated feeling this way. He bare feet against the tile floor were cold, her hand against the glass felt the chill as well. She had left her bathrobe in her quarters, as well as her living pillow.
Jared didn't need to know about the nightmares. He didn't need to know how much doubt she felt. One protective hand rested on her stomach.
The land may still be at peace, as much as any land standing in constant watch against Dorothea's rule, but Lia felt the fear of the people seeping into the land. Along every nerve, it burned, and she knew that she would not be able to hold off the threat of Hayll forever. Even if Dena Nehele did not fall in her lifetime, she would fall.
Lia did not want to face this. Lady Ardelia needed to, so she could work to stop it. It was a dualistic way to think about herself, and probably not healthy, but she knew she must. She must divide herself into the role of Queen and the role of witch. The Queen would rule and rule justly, as she had been taught, as her own sense of morals demanded. The witch would attempt to carve a section of the Queen's time away for her own life, for her Consort who would soon be her husband.
For the child she carried within her.
Her stomach was long beyond the point she could hide the pregnancy. Jared was nervous, terrified he was going to be a horrible father. Lia had no doubts about his role as father, or his role as her husband. No, it was her own role she had doubts about.
She remembered the nightmare and shuddered. Fire, and screaming, and all the while she could hear the baby crying. She could hear the baby, but she couldn't find it. The fear alone woke her, sweat sheening on her skin, and her hair damp and limp. She'd risen from bed, tossing on only a thin nightgown before fleeing to stand just here.
She feared her impending motherhood. She feared her grandmother's declining health. She feared her ascent as Territory Queen. Her grandmother intended her to take over full duties a mere month after delivering her child.
Arabella Ardelia was not ready for the world to change in so many ways.
“Lia?”
The sleepy voice was one of the last Lia would have expected to hear. Not Thera, but Blaed. She turned to watch him approach, with his sleep tousled hair and night clothes askew. Why was he up, she wondered. She asked him just that.
“Blaed? What are you doing up?”
“Midnight ritual. I get up, head to the kitchen, eat, and bring a snack back for Thera.” he explained with a small, fond, smile. Lia smirked despite herself, but it soon fled.
Thera and Blaed had returned to the capital recently. At first Thera had said she wanted to be here early, to settle in before Lia formed her Court. Since it was assumed Thera would serve in Lia's Court, few questioned that answer. Lia did. When pressed, Thera had said she wanted to be around for Lia's pregnancy.
Lia didn't buy that either. She suspected Thera knew something and simply wasn't sharing, which only made Lia more and more nervous as her delivery approached. She suspected something would be wrong with her baby, something Thera hoped to stop or fix, but something that Thera wouldn't tell her. She was nearly in tears.
“Lia?”
“Good evening, Prince Blaed.” She hurried past him, as if she were on the way back to her own bedchambers. After some consideration, and hesitation outside of them, she did step inside. She discarded her nightgown and returned to bed, stretching out on her side of the bed, and staring at the golden skin of her intended's back. She curled close to it, but he stirred and turned over, gathering her into his arms sleepily and curling around her. She appreciated the warmth, and the strength.
Jared's strength had been her comfort for some time now. She was not weak without him, but right now she felt it. She hoped, desperately hoped, it was the hormones that were doing this to her.
But she couldn't begin to believe that, and laid awake for the rest of the night.