Ultimate Truth

butts

2015-04-03T00:32:07Z

butts

Chapter 2: Come At Me Bro

2010-12-05T04:25:56Z

Last time I talked to y'all, this was what our glorious new Republic looked like. We were small but we could stand up against the dictator from the south. But we Texans are not complacent. Our brothers in Mexico will not be repressed any longer by the foul Santa Anna. Freeing others is what we do best!

We need an actual army to do that so we swoop down and conscript some young men into soldiers. They'll take to their new job with gusto!

At the request of some, we decided to further our relationship with our brothers to the North. Europe has no place in our country. Their meddling colonialist attitude has ruined enough things! Texas refuses to fight another war for European ambitions. America, seeing our independent attitude, agreed to recognize us as a sovereign country. No longer will our people be encroached upon.

To lead our newly recruited soldiers, General Travis decided to come out of retirement after our last war with Mexico. Despite only being 26 years old, he's a man of great ingenuity...even if he looks like a dagnabbed grandpa.

I have never heard of this guy but he apparently thinks Texas is a great place so LET HIM IN! If he can spread the word about everything great about this country, then so be it.

After a three day long party with Washington officials, they said they'd be by our side through thick and thin. After the next mornin', they didn't seem to remember any of it but that's okay. We got their names signed on paper so we'll sue them if they break it.

With our army finally built and the navy done, someone came and asked me about some guys named Jommny and Clazwitz. We don't give our army fancy names...especially if they're European. So I just picked Jommny to get him to shut up. Then he went on about being a hero or having a better crew but everyone wants heroes. I picked that one, of course.

After he left us alone, me and Travis could start our secret plan. There were savages out in the world that needed freedom from oppressors like Mexico so we offered to send our army to help. Some aristocrat guy came to us begging for help so we couldn't just turn him down. What was the name of where he was from again?

Oh, right. Haywhyee.

On our way there, we captured some ship called the Little Penn. The Brits on board complained but they also had a bad habit of makin' other sailors work for them. So in exchange for a bit of booze, we decided to show them the meaning of freedom and let'em go. It's only fair since we're Texas after all.

Real quick-like, we sent in a boat to the Haywhyan king and told him he was a foul oppressor of people and we were there to free them. Somehow, news slipped out of our little venture and some natives got uppity, claiming we were just gonna kill more natives. That little spat didn't turn out so well but we had things to do. We couldn't stop for a little complaining.

Our men fought the natives handily and were victorious. The Haywhyan king was no match for our General Austin and we captured Hawaii. We brought pineapples back home to Texas and found that they cured constipation real good. We'll be makin' good use of our new island state, let me tell you.

Some Texans were pretty insistent on askin' Europe for help for our country but we didn't need them. One of our senators got up and beat the guys out of the room with their canes. We weren't going to hear about any European heresy in our own lawmaking house.

There were more! Hearing that there was fighting going on in the south of the gulf, our Mexican population rallied at the Senate and petitioned to let them into our Republic. Seeing the widespread support, President Lamar could only smile and tell them Texas would do what we could. He sure didn't lie either. The legislature in those two states voted to join Texas. Yes, our country was growing stronger. We thought Mexico wouldn't take this layin' down but they did. Guess Santa Anna was havin' trouble in his own capital.

The Mexican army that was stationed in the Youcatan was still fought on in rebellion but this was our territory. No one was takin' it from us. So we sent our army down there to handle them all appropriate like.

Turns out our army weren't so good at mountain fightin'. We had to ship down even more men to get a handle on the situation. The last battle was a huge drain on our men and they swore they would never try to live in this kind of forsaken, humid, forest.

Glorious Texas still prevailed and victory over our enemies was assured. When we had been a small collection of counties, we were now practically doubled in land mass and population. The Texas Republic will continue to reign supreme!

We also got some research completed. Scientists tell me that soon, we'll have these things called railroads runnin' through our country. We're pretty excited and focusin' hard on making that a reality!

So we've accomplished some of our short term goals. What next?

Chapter 1: Hurrah Texas!

2010-10-24T03:20:34Z

Welcome to the Glorious Republic of Texas, the Lone Star Country.

Sam Houston here. You see, we've had a problem lately. That is to say, those guys down there in the capital of Mexico think they own us. Now...now, listen here. Yeah, they gave us the right to move here but then they started to lay down some laws that really didn't go to well with our daily grits. You know, taxes and those scoundrely things. So we up and said that we're gonna govern ourselves. Y'all in the Mexican government can just deal with it. Even the native Indians and Mexicans agreed with us.

Our researchers started in on somethin' called Army Professionalism. We don't need none of that over here. We've got spirit, liqour, and guns! No one is going to beat us that easily!

No siree, no one at all.

That was not a tactical retreat! No way, Jose! I just needed to consolidate our glorious army under my command! Who cares that we only have a little over a handful of soldiers and they have seventy thousand. We've got honor and God on our side!

In all seriousness, Texans have a massive morale advantage over every country in the world. Because of that, if they're on the defensive, as long as the army doesn't get annihilated, the enemy army will retreat because their morale dropped too low.

I was also told something about letters of mark. Mark? Markee? This stupid French nonsense. Whatever it was, Mexico and the US wasn't too happy about it. Something about pirating everything and giving it all to us. It's not like they need all that stuff in the first place. Texas First!

A couple of our dimplomats went to Washington D.C. with some booze and other presents but they didn't seem too pleased. Those city folk will never understand a polite gesture, I tell you.

But when they came back, they got an excellent idea! We were going to declare our independence. This wasn't a war about throwing off evil shackles of tyranny anymore. We were gonna govern ourselves. We sent it post haste to Santa Anna but he couldn't understand us very well. We told him we wanted our rights back and he said we could keep our rats. Only a tyrant would think rights are rats.

...but we had some bad news after that. We left some defenses down in the county of San Antonio and that drat Santa Anna....he killed'em all. There was no way Texas was going to live this town. You kill one Texan in cold blood, you kill them all.

Their massive armies were closing in on us so we had one last desperate offensive. If that didn't work, we were done for but...

...God was on our side! We captured that fool of a tyrant and sent him off to where he belongs. With the rest of the city folk in DC. They'd show him what for and the US would make sure we got our independence. We're all brothers and we have to stick together.

The new Mexican government refused to recognize our glorious peace! We showed them what for so they won't be coming back for a long while. In the meantime, the US has got our back so we don't have to worry about any dagnab hordes overrunning our defenses and making us bow down to them.

No sooner than we kicked out the Mexican army, the Indians took advantage of us having our heads turned the wrong ways. They'll learn the error of their fool ways soon enough.

After that fiasco, an era of peace and prosperity set in across the First Republic of Texas. We had new inventions flowing in from Europe and our men embraced them wholeheartedly. If we're gonna survive, we have to keep open to all ideas that come in from across the ocean and from our brothers in the US.

We all got a good laugh when we saw boats show up on the horizon flying the Texas flag. They didn't realize the war was over yet! I guess them markee letters were worth something. A lot of celebration was to be had but we stole a lot of gold from Mexico and so we had a good old time unloadin' our new money and liquor. Oh the liquor, we drank a lot of that in the process.

But while staggerin' around, Austin says to me...he says "Hey, Sam. What if we could rule the seas? Wouldn't that be great?"

I said to him, I said "Yeah, why don't we buy some stuff to put our troops in too and we'll have a grand ol' time! But those guys in Mexico won't be happy if we can rule the whole gulf."

"Aww, screw'em Sam. We'll just beat them back like we always do. Why, with a navy, we're a short sail and walk from Mexico City itself."

Yes, Texas is a grand and glorious place. We've got a great future ahead of us but, you know, all the decisions aren't mine.

What should we do next should be decided by our grand and glorious citizens. So speak up! Free speech is welcome in our glorious Republic.

Comment here and say/debate what we should do next. I'll do my best to implement popular ideas but be aware that in 1838-1840, we'll go to war with Mexico again over who controls the Yucatan Peninsula. I'd like to ally with France or/and Britain before then and definitely ally with America, since they'll donate most of their army to help us. If you have questions, feel free to shoot them.

precto @ 2010-10-07T03:07:00

2010-10-07T07:07:18Z

Alright, I'm going to start up a LP of Victoria and it's expansion Revolutions. But....I want input before playing and while playing. Namely, who should I be, what policies should I assume, and shit. I'll be writing a 1st person narrative along with screenshots of various real/made up characters to go along with it.

So....to the list.

The Republic of Texas

PROS - a benevolent ally in America, its position as a border region has lots of potential
CONS - almost constantly at war with Mexico, victory is nearly impossible and will have to aim for lower goals, absolutely fucked if America gives up on us, bad feelings may come from turning down being an American state

The United States of America

PROS - will probably never be in want of money, constant acquisition of land, can have considerable power levels later on
CONS - have to keep a close eye on Texas, MEXICAN WARS, England/Canada are hostile, if you choose anti-slavery policies there will be a Civil War in 1861

Belgium
PROS - most of Europe likes you, very rich in resources, generally not involved in European wars
CONS - start out at war with Netherlands, if France or Prussia hate you there can be trouble, kind of just stuck there without expansion room

Portugal
PROS - colonies, colonies everywhere, generally separate from European affairs, can easily insert itself into American affairs
CONS - manpower issues, if britain is angered the game gets REAL hard

SO

View Poll: #1628686

How to weapons 2; KNOW YOUR MELEE WEAPONS

2010-09-03T07:16:26Z

Imagine this. You're a King back during the medieval times. Suddenly, a swarm of enemies have gathered up outside your Kingdom and will be pillaging within a few months. Being the king you are, you will not let this stand. But you and your noblemen aren't going to fight. NO WAY. That's the duty of the peasants you've just conscripted. You're a wise King though and decide to actually equip your newly formed army with weapons. You'd like them to defeat their foes, after all. WHAT DO YOU EQUIP THEM WITH??

A. Swords
B. Axes
C. Spears/Lances

Did you pick A? Yes? Unfortunately, you're very wrong. I can see why you thought that though. Swords are well known for being the common arm for a soldier back in those days. OR SO YOU THOUGHT. In fact, they're not. Swords were expensive to make and were reserved for nobleman. Not only that, swords took a lot of training to use. Give a newbie a sword and he's just as likely to cut himself and his bros as he is an enemy.

Did you pick B? Yes? Eh, you're getting close. The average peasant already knows how to use an axe so equipping them with that isn't such a bad idea. Except for the fact that the range of an axe sucks and your foe is likely far better with them than you. Plus, axes took time to make so mass producing them is a bit difficult.

Did you pick C? Yes. Good job! Spears, for an exceedingly long time, will be the primary weapon for armies. Why? You don't have to be trained to use them and they're easy to make! You just stand there, poke the back end of your spear in the ground, and watch as your enemy runs right into it. Of course, this is just the basics for peasant armies and a trained person could wield a spear in far more ways but when you're just trying to be a meat shield so the archers and knights could do their job, just being a man holding a spear is enough!

SO LET'S GET THIS ON.

This is a Longsword. When referring to swords, the longsword is what will most commonly be brought up. It's what we like to call a one and a half handed weapon. That means it was light enough to use with one hand but sturdy enough to use with two. The longsword was primarily a hacking and stabbing weapon. It was actually invented when people wanted to combine a spear and an axe into one viable weapon. Funnily enough, you may find some images of knights wielding the sword by the blade and swinging the hilt. This was actually a proper way of using it. The cross guard was often in the shape of a hook and it would be used to latch on to armor joints and either rip off the armor or trip up their foes.

The longsword also has cousins in the broadsword and claymore. These weapons were primarily hacking weapons. They were held with two hands and were heavy enough to cut straight through armor. Back in the day, people were pretty buff but short (You can thank lead poisoning for the height difference) so getting smacked with one of those weapons could really ruin your day. Even if it didn't penetrate your armor, you were going to have broken bones.

This is a Gladius. It was used by Roman soldiers back in the day. It was often combined with a few javelons for throwing and a shield called a Scutum. The gladius could be used for stabbing and slashing but it was often used in a rather brutal manner. Guarding with the shield, a Roman soldier would shove hard, forcing an enemy back a pace or so. He would then reach around the shield with the gladius and give a low thrust or slash across his foe's bowels, spewing guts everywhere. You know that scene in 300 where they did that? Romans were the ones who used that strategy effectively.

Eventually, the gladius and scutum were replaced by the Spatha, the Roman version of a longsword. See above for that.

Thi is obviously a spear. Spears come in three hundred gajillion different forms and I could spend an entire entry talking about just them. They were the primary weapon of infantry for centuries and even were adapted into the gunpowder era as bayonets. Spears could be used against practically anything except against archers. They were simple weapons to use but difficult to master and can even be thrown if in the right hands. I don't think I'll go too much indepth with this one.

Everyone and their mother knows what a Katana is. Made in Japan, it's a rather unique weapon. It's primarily used for slashing attacks. The reason why the blade is curved is to keep the blade in contact with the target longer (the same applies to other curved blades), allowing it to cut deeper. What makes the katana unique is the large amount of fables behind it. The katana was primarily a one hit kill weapon but was rarely ever used. As a matter of fact, katanas accounted for maybe 12% of wounds and casualties in ancient Japan. If you were dueling and clashing blades with one, you were doing something terribly wrong. After about six hits against a hard object, a katana blade was typically rendered blunt and useless. The reasoning behind that is simple.

1. Metal in Japan was very impure. This made the metal used in the blade to be of a lower quality. The forging process had to be unique to make the blade but...

2. ...the forging process was also a problem. Katana blades are fabled to have a thousand folds to hammer out the impurities. With metal, the more folds you have, the more brittle it becomes. Katanas are suspect to the same problems.

So, if you read anywhere that katanas are a great anti-zombie weapon, I hope you enjoy dying rather quickly when your blade dulls out after striking bones a few times.

On the opposite end of a katana is a Kukri. This is a longer knife that was primarily used in Nepal and is still popular today when bushwhacking. Because the blade is curved inwards instead of outwards, it is best used for chopping and stabbing. A huge amount of power can be put into the blade, enabling it to lop off heads easily. Because of the way the blade bent, it makes a stabbing weapon that allows you to use the full force of your wrist and arm. The kukri can also be used as a throwing weapon because of its blade balance. In terms of knives, owning a kukri is your best bet for awesome.

WHAT IS THAT? I bet that's what you're asking. That's a Flamberge. While rarely used, it had a very nice niche in combat. It was used for two different things. Cutting off the tips of spears and pikes and slashing. The wavy blade acts not only like a serrated edge but it also keeps the blade in contact with the target for a much longer time than a regular blade was, allowing for deeper, more penetrating slashes. Very rarely was it used as a stabbing weapon and for a good reason. It was difficult to remove the blade after stabbing the target. You would think the curves would weaken the blade but this is not true. It suffers from none of the obvious detriments other than it's very, very hard to forge.

BATTLE AXE. SHIELD BREAKAN', LANCE DESTROYAN', LIMB CUTTAN'. Made famous by the Vikings, battle axes have also been used for centuries because people just naturally know how to use axes. Plus they're powerful but not all that accurate. But they still make up for that with POWER. Even a glancing blow can cause a grievous injury.

It bashes, it smashes, it's a Mace. Maces were used against those pesky guys who had thick armor. Sure, that armor might be able to stop a blade but blunt force will carry through and break bones. Very simple weapons to use but they wore out the arm quickly because of the one sided weight. It's also a myth that soldiers fo the clergy used maces as weapons to prevent the spilling of blood. This is blatantly false. Soldiers of the clergy rarely fought, and when they did, they were equipped with the fanciest of longswords.

Sister weapons to the mace is the flail and morning star. These had weighted balls at the end of a chain to allow for more force behind each hit. You could literally knock off a helmeted head with one of those. Their downfall is the windup time needed to start swinging the weapon.

These are not effective weapons. Using these in battle will cause you to die very quickly. Or you'll kill your opponent with the hilarity of the situation. Don't let fictional works fool you. I'm pretty sure that's the moral of these posts. You can find the one on guns here but it needs to be updated with some info. Next time, we'll be discussing bows and arrows.

precto @ 2010-08-29T20:39:00

2010-08-30T00:39:14Z

Alright, meme bandwagon.

Give me a character from any fandom I know at least fairly well, and I will tell you:

A) My OTP
B) The runner up
C) The anti-ship
D) My unpopular fannish opinion on said character
E) One person he/she never fell in love with, and why

precto @ 2010-08-20T02:00:00

2010-08-20T06:00:29Z

Pick one of your characters and one of mine and I'll give you 5-10 facts as 'written' by my character about yours.

precto @ 2010-07-11T05:58:00

2010-07-11T09:58:10Z

Wild Life - 15
Melty Blood: Actress Again - 63
Neon Genesis Evangelion 2.22 - 35

Preview:

All here @ naturalperms

How to weapons 1; How to GUNZ

2010-06-18T05:09:12Z

Guns are probably one of the most misunderstood universal concept that I've come across in roleplaying. Whether it comes to the naming of the parts, gun safety, or how they work, it's very commonly done wrong. So hopefully this will work as a good reference guide to anyone who wishes to have their character go on a shooting spree at some point.

1. A magazine is not called a "clip".
This is a common mistake, not only in the written world, but in Hollywood and even real life. Thankfully, this can be solved and described in one easy image.

2. The average pistol is not a "draw and fire" kind of thing.
There are two types of handguns. The revolver and the semi-automatic. When it comes to personal carry, many prefer semi-automatic because it is generally more compact and easier to fire. But there is a downside to using a semi-automatic. It must be manually cocked before being fired. There is no speed drawing and shooting when using a semi-automatic handgun. Yes, you could cock the gun before holstering it but that is the quickest way to get a bullet hole in your leg or foot. Any moron knows this is a bad idea.

On the other hand, revolvers are great for drawing and firing but they have no safety mechanisms and tend to be harder to wield. Not to mention they are usually limited to firing 6 rounds before reloading while semi-autos can average between 9-15 rounds.

But if your character is packing a semi-automatic, if they enter a close combat confrontation without it drawn, chances are, they won't draw it unless they are in a safe position. A gun cocking is a distinct sound and is often used as a warning. But it takes time and anyone nearby will know to either run or get rid of that person if possible. That is why you don't stand in the open with a semi-auto, cock it, and expect to fire it accurately in a split-second. That is ridiculous.

3. Headshots are not best shots.
Anyone who has had even a slight training with a gun will know that scoring a headshot through skill is impossible and is best left to luck. Instead, you always aim for the center mass. A shot to the chest can incapacitate a person just as well. There are three places on a human body where a bullet can be nearly instantly fatal. The head (for obvious reasons), the heart (for obvious reasons), and the kidney.

The kidney, you say? Did you know if you puncture the kidney, a person will automatically go into shock? In a fight, that's as good as saying they're dead.

4. One shot is never enough.
Ever heard of the term "doubletap"? If you haven't, you should probably take the time to look it up if your character uses guns. To put it simply, always fire twice or more at a target to ensure that the target it actually dead as opposed to just injured.

5. Pistol sniping.
Get the fuck out. Pistols, against moving targets, are only good to about 50 yards. You don't snipe with pistols.

6. Shotguns will fuck you up.
You've played video games, right? Shotguns always seem to be horridly bad at medium to long ranges. If you ask why, you'll actually realize that, in real life, shotguns can fuck you up at medium ranges and would be overpowered in video games if they implemented it like that. You don't have to be within 25 feet of a target to ruin them with a shotgun. They can be a lot further away and still get killed/injured badly.

On the note of shotguns, if you're using them to fight zombies, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG. Just letting you know. Shotguns suck against zombies, no matter what the movies and games tell you.

7. Bolt action rifles are inherently more powerful, accurate, and reliable than semi-automatic/automatic rifles.
Not much explaining needed here. Bolt action rifles are generally used for sniping because you can drag them through mud, load in a bullet, and still hit the target at a long range. Semi-autos and autos can fire much faster and load much faster, making them superior to straight up combat but can't take as much beating and dirt as a bolt action.

8. Don't bring a knife to a gun fight.

9. Don't bring a rifle to a tank fight.

10. Trigger discipline can define a shooter.
That's right. Trigger discipline. What this means is that your finger is not on the trigger unless you're about to pull it. This is actually a big deal because anyone trained on guns will know this. Actions outside of this are considered very gangster and amateurish. Remember, guns are killing machines. Not chunks of metal and fiberglass that you can wave around at people.

11. Think of the recoil.
Gee, it sure would be nice to go full auto. NO. IT WOULD NOT BE NICE. Only amateurs and ammunition wasters use the full auto function on rifles. You're probably not going to hit anything with it. All full auto is good for is laying down cover fire to force your opponents to hide while you take your next action. For those who do use it, remember that your gun will most likely pull up and to the left. Adjusting for this is terribly difficult, which is why accuracy after the first shot fails.

12. Stability = Accuracy
The more stable your arm and body is, the more accurate your shot will by. By that statement, bracing your arm against an object (tree, wood, car, your own knee, the ground) is best for target shooting. That is why kneeling and lying down on teh ground will provide some of the best shots. Nothing will destroy your aim like your arm flapping in the wind, let me tell you.

13. Gun Hygene and you.
Having trouble keeping yourself clean? Have fun taking care of your gun. Powder and other grime inevitably builds up in the barrel of a gun. This causes louder shots, more smoke, more inaccuracy, and decreased range. If you don't take care of it, your gun may even backfire on you. By the way, that means the back of the barrel will explode instead of the bullet exiting the front of the barrel. Which means your eyes and arms are pretty much ruined if you don't accidentally die from that.

Don't forget to lubricate the parts too! But don't use too much oil or dirt will clog up in it, causing the gun to lock up, creating unwanted jams in the middle of battle. That could be the death of you.

14. Gunshot damage is awkward.
When a bullet impacts a person, it actually flattens. Therefore, the hole the bullet makes when it enters the body is much smaller than the one made when it exits the body. And this isn't just a little, it's ALOT. It's the exit wound that will cause the most bleeding.

And god forbid the bullet doesn't actually exit the body. That means it hit something it couldn't penetrate and bounced around inside you, ripping up everything in its way. Unless it's a hollowpoint bullet. Then it's just stuck in you and has ruined your day by ripping a huge swath through your body.

There's probably some stuff to add to here but I can't think of it at the moment. Hopefully that tl;dr was at least a mite bit informational and helpful. Leaving it unlocked for everyone forever to view.

precto @ 2010-06-13T05:45:00

2010-06-13T09:45:55Z

Full Metal Panic - 42
Super Robot Wars - 30

     Cobray - 10
     Ibis - 11
     Arado - 9

Preview:

More here @ naturalperms

precto @ 2010-06-10T03:15:00

2010-06-10T07:15:03Z

Who's Pokemon team is this? MY POKEMON TEAM.

YEAH.

precto @ 2010-05-21T18:22:00

2010-05-21T22:22:36Z

The How's My Driving? Meme

precto @ 2010-05-18T06:58:00

2010-05-18T10:58:25Z

- Actively pursue friendship with people who don't seem to share your interests. This includes people who you consider "dumb", "ditzy", "sheep", or whatever elitist term you prefer. You'll not only be surprised by their secret hobbies, but you'll most likely learn something handy and a diverse group of friends is always more entertaining than four technosexuals watching anime on a Saturday. Your life will become a Persona game, if you need a comparison more like what you're used to.

- On bleak, gray-skied winter mornings, take your dog, other pet of preference or, in lack of one, younger sibling (or elderly relative) out for a walk. Talk to whoever it is you're walking with. Pay special attention to puddles, the sky's color, and do this somewhere relatively quiet, like a park if you live in the inner city.

- Pick a style in clothes and stick to it. As long as the style isn't Steampunk Cowboy or 1930's Hearse-Driver, you don't have to constantly change, at the mercy of fashion. Develop a look of your own and complement it with articles of clothing that you find appealing. Avoid overdressing.

- Every respectable person regardless of age, gender and degree of responsibility in the household should know how to cook a good meal. Buy cook books, look recipes up on the Internet, and develop an enjoyment of your own for cooking. Cooking is not a chore, it is a relaxing, rewarding and potentially social activity. You must see it like this.

- Keep a small notebook and keep it hidden well. Whenever you think you have an interesting thought, an idea for a novel, or something that you'll want to remember years from now, write it down. Read it through entirely at the end of every year or so.

- If you're only starting college, do not study something like Psychology or Publicity, regardless of potential merits. They are specializations. Study Law, Administration, Engineering, or Medicine. These four are solid bases to catapult you in whatever related direction you wish to go. Even if you want to study Psychology, studying Administration will help, because it's an extremely complete career that gives you life skills more than anything, and you'll always have it as a safety net.

- Do not develop excessive sentimental bonds to inanimate objects. Keep a small cluster of things that you value sentimentally. "Nostalgiabombing" may seem fun to you but it is a troublesome and cyclical vice.

- Coming home from classes/work initiates an obvious temptation to watch TV, get online, play a video game or sleep. Don't. Veg out for a few minutes by fiddling with your keys, making yourself some coffee, whatever menial chores, then start any homework/work you need to do. You'll enjoy the TV/Internet/video games much more if you know you don't have to do anything later. Trust me on this one.

- Do not do drugs more often than a couple times a month. No, not even weed. This has nothing to do with the drugs' actual effects on your body. Rather, becoming a dedicated consumer will slip you into an "I am different" mentality that will not help you in the future.

- Do not ever begin to develop a mentality where you think of yourself as overly special, unique or distinguished. Always consider this: Every "original" thought you've ever had has been considered, developed, analyzed, refuted and reconstructed by better thinkers than you. Every time you try to stay on the "edge", the conscious effort makes you fall closer to the dull center. Most importantly, do not let this sadden you. It's okay to be human.

- Begin to analyze facial and body gestures. No, I'm not trying to tell you to become the Mentalist or Hitch or anything in between. The mission is much less pretentious and vapid: you will gain a greater appreciation for human movement and beauty. If you want to see why this is important through a counter-example, begin to imagine all the people on billboard ads as clusters of organs bagged up in skin.

- Try to foster greater physical comfort between you and your friends, regardless of gender. This is of course easier depending on the culture, but it is much more satisfying (in a way completely unrelated to sex) to have friends who you can hug, hold, pull, or punch. It's part of a humanization process that takes a lifetime.

- Learn to hold your alcohol. One of the best ways to train yourself to be good at conversation and courting (which also makes you good at oratory, debate and poker) is to challenge yourself by setting up situations where your tongue may slip, and succeeding in not doing it. Begin to use the floodgates to your thoughts and emotions. Eventually you will even become conscious of your distinctive, potentially awkward mannerisms which you may have never noticed before.

- Never stop being a student. Whether it's Osamu Tezuka's work, lacrosse, playing Ico for the first time or watching videos on how to put on scarves on YouTube, welcome learning. Become a sponge. This knowledge will not be nearly as useful to you as it will be to whoever you choose to impart it.

- Stressed out? Don't underestimate the power of green tea. Freshly brewed, it contains chemicals that allow you to shed excess nervous energy and help focus.

- You know that annoying person in front of you in the shopping line that has two billion coupons? That person is saving money. Collect coupons and don't be embarrassed to use them. Often times, large sellers like Wal-Mart allow you to double up on coupons, getting a lot of things for free.

- If you're suffering from depression, your solution could be right there. Taking Fish Oil Tablets is often overlooked as a cure for depression. You can't overdose on it and for most people, it only takes one or two days to take effect, If it doesn't work, try Flax Seed or Krill Oil. All of this can be purchased at Wal-Mart or a pharmacy.

- If a Police Officer ever asks to see inside your car or house and doesn't have a warrant, refuse. Regardless of how innocent you are, the police officer's job isn't to protect you but protect the law. He is not there to prove you innocent but to prove you guilty. This isn't tinfoil hatting, it's simply the truth. At any time, if you feel a police officer is stalling (he may be requesting a K9 unit to sniff your car to get probable cause to open it), ask him if he's detaining you. The answer should be no (if not, seek legal action afterwords but do not badmouth the officer). Then ask if you can leave. While doing this, always remember to refer to him/her as "Officer". Not "you", "sir/madam" or anything of the sort. And never rub it in his face that you know your rights. If you get snippy, he will find a reason to detain you or make your life miserable.

- When you call a business or helpdesk and are greeted by a "Press button 1 to..." menu tree, repeatedly making the wrong choices (like pressing "9" when there is no choice 9) will often get you straight to an operator. Just waiting can do the trick too, since it may mean your phone has no buttons and you can't make choices with it. If you face a voice-operated menu tree, say "operator".

That's all I've got for now. Hopefully it was helpful. =3=

precto @ 2010-05-16T08:34:00

2010-05-16T12:34:11Z

Tenchi Muyo (OVA) - 42

Preview:

@NATURALPERMS

precto @ 2010-05-10T06:15:00

2010-05-10T10:15:23Z

Contrary to popular belief, Americans did not win the revolution through "bush fighting" or anything similar. Also, the accuracy of the average American with a musket was on the same level as a British soldier.

Despite all that, the Americans waged a successful war of attrition. George Washington, when it came to victories, was a terrible general. Where he succeeded the most was pulling a minor defeat out of the jaws of a crushing defeat. Considering that the British goals were

-Defeat the American Army in the field
-Capture George Washington
-Capture the new American leaders
-Prevent foreign intervention

And American goals were

-Outlast the British until they were tired of fighting
-Get foreign support
-Keep an army in the field

It was a perfect way to wage a war of attrition. While Washington may not have been able to deliver the victories, he had an outstanding aptitude towards raising morale, garnering respect, and keeping his command alive.

Despite the history of British military victories, this type of war was new to them. Being used to capturing capital cities to win wars, confusion among Parliament and other British leaders ran rampant when Philadelphia was captured but no sign of American defeat was showing.

Banastre Tarleton had the right idea when it came to fighting Americans. While brutal, it was necessary to wage a terror campaign to break the spirits of those who supported. Unfortunately for the English, he was kept reigned in by his superiors and was delivered a decisive defeat at the Battle of Cowpens, where Daniel Morgan killed/wounded/captured 86% of Tarleton's command.

precto @ 2010-05-08T23:20:00

2010-05-09T03:20:13Z

http://www.eventhubs.com/news/2010/may/08/four-new-marvel-vs-capcom-3-characters-confirmed/

In the latest Game Informer magazine, Dante (Devil May Cry), Felicia (Darkstalkers), Deadpool and Captain America were listed as confirmed characters for Marvel vs. Capcom 3.

• MvC3 is using the Tatsunoko vs. Capcom scheme to be more accessible, but will retain stuff like Hyper Combo cancels, Snapbacks and assists.

• The game will have the alpha, beta and gamma assist types, just like in Marvel vs. Capcom 2.

• MvC3 aims to knock down the wall of complicated controls and open up the field of strategic fighting to all comers. This means fusing the accessible controls of TvC with tried and true MVC2 gameplay.

• The game has simplified launch attacks which are universally performed with one button, the Exchange button. This can also be pressed along with certain directions to slam opponents into the ground, leaving them susceptible to combos. Players can also hit the Exchange button in midair to tag in other team members on the fly. You can also counter exchange moves by guessing the correct exchange move to input at the same time as your opponent.

• Deadpool's teleportation device will comically malfunction if you spam his teleport move. Also, he breaks the fourth wall by beating his opponents with his health bar.

• Chris Redfield uses his weapons from Resident Evil 5, his shotgun and the "shock stick."

• Moves from the previous games seemed to have been retained. Wolverine and Hulks' Supers are shown.

>Deadpool's teleportation device will comically malfunction if you spam his teleport move. Also, he breaks the fourth wall by beating his opponents with his health bar.
>he breaks the fourth wall by beating his opponents with his health bar.
> Dante (Devil May Cry)

SIGN ME UP

precto @ 2010-05-07T20:07:00

2010-05-08T00:06:34Z

I've got two out of print games that are relatively hard to find that I want to sell.

Final Fantasy 7 (Playstation)

and

Metal Gear Solid: Twin Snakes (Gamecube)

The game store will not trade them for store credit. FF7 generally goes for 40+ bucks and MGS usually goes for 30+.

I'll give an awesome discount to you guys on my friends list. Fifteen dollars each plus shipping. FF7 even comes with an extra disk three. IT CAME IN THE CASE, I HAVE NO IDEA WHY.

Those are the important ones. If you're interested in crappy Gundam games, I'll give you all of them for five bucks total plus shipping. Just ping me and I'll tell you what they are.

precto @ 2010-04-12T09:22:00

2010-04-12T13:22:33Z

the good vibrations meme

Everyone else is doing it. ._.b

precto @ 2010-03-20T13:21:00

2010-03-20T17:21:28Z

The How's My Driving? Meme

safdgpdsfgsdfg I REALLY NEED TO HIT THE BED. To make this post substantial...

ICON COLORERS.

I'm trying to make this look like an explosion instead of LOL GREY. Ideas?

precto @ 2010-03-19T02:06:00

2010-03-19T06:06:13Z

Tonight is wrapping itself up to be slow and boring at work so here is what we're going to do.

Crossover Canon Fic

Rules
1. Request two/three characters that have to be from at least two different fandoms
2. Give a location (Character A's home, for example)
3. Give a prompt

I will write as much as I can but it'll probably one or more paragraphs of substance. Of course, all I ask is that I know the actual fandom said characters are from. I'd be kinda stuck if it was something I absolutely didn't know at all. :(

GOGOGO

precto @ 2010-02-22T23:36:00

2010-02-23T04:37:06Z

Everyone on my shift at work got fired.

But me.

Feels like I dodged a bullet.

precto @ 2010-02-21T04:38:00

2010-02-21T09:38:44Z

Welcome to the worst icon post ever.

Reaction Images (Various Fandoms) x 42

Preview:

All found here.

precto @ 2010-02-16T22:09:00

2010-02-17T03:08:49Z

Prove me wrong.

precto @ 2010-02-02T05:01:00

2010-02-02T10:01:59Z

HAHAHA AUSTRALIA WHAT ARE YOU DOING. WHY ARE YOU SO AGAINST THE INTERNET?

"The new law, which came into force on January 6, requires internet bloggers, and anyone making a comment on next month's state election, to publish their real name and postcode when commenting on the poll."

"It also appears to apply to election comment made on social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter."

"The law, which was pushed through last year as part of a raft of amendments to the Electoral Act and supported by the Liberal Party, also requires media organisations to keep a person's real name and full address on file for six months, and they face fines of $5000 if they do not hand over this information to the Electoral Commissioner."

Source

Welcome to Red Australia/Nazi Australia.

I guess I should be fair and post something else too. How about that Anti-Counterfeiting Trade Agreement? It's still in the works but there have been some leaked bits. This agreement will cover the following countries; the USA, Switzerland Japan, Australia, Canada, the European Union, Jordan, Mexico, Morocco, New Zealand, Republic of Korea, Singapore and United Arab Emirates.

"The leaked document includes a provision to force Internet Service Providers (ISPs) to provide information about suspected copyright infringers without a warrant, something which many feel should not be legal, making it easier for the record industry to sue music file sharers and for officials to shut down non-commercial BitTorrent websites such as The Pirate Bay."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-Counterfeiting_Trade_Agreement

For your information, in the United States of America, unless the police have a warrant, they cannot get your information from your ISP. This is why most anti-piracy cases flounder because it's fucking impossible to get enough proof of piracy to get a warrant.

precto @ 2010-01-26T20:51:00

2010-01-27T01:51:00Z

In other news, ask me anything. I'm surprised I didn't do this earlier.

SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?