Dinner Squadron

possibilities @ 2011-08-05T23:02:00

2011-08-06T05:02:53Z

I'M GOING TO NEPAL IN OCTOBER.

I need to talk more about this, because it is CLEARLY AWESOME.

BUT GUYS! I'M GOING TO NEPAL! IN OCTOBER! BY MYSELF!

Yeah, I'm a little excited. Except the "by myself" part. That's kind of scary.

But right now, I'm drunk and need to sleep. Mmm, KGB Imperial Russian Stout. Thank you, Alley Cat Brewery.

(Yup, get drunk, book $3000 tour to someplace $2500-of-airfare-away. Great choice or awesome choice, you decide!)

possibilities @ 2011-07-10T00:45:00

2011-07-10T04:45:32Z

I'm in Victoria right now, and I'm far too busy having fun to write on LJ.

It's a pleasant change from being too run down with life's nasty sameness to write on LJ!

I really want to stay in Victoria.

1. Cheap rent!
Seriously, Victoria, stop whining about your rent. It is way cheaper to live walking-distance to downtown here than it is in Edmonton, and you get to do it for cheaper in safer neighbourhoods.

2. Less tax!
Sure, there's the HST [sales tax]. But I'd need a 225% raise before paying the same percentage of income tax that I do in Alberta. BC's almost-invisible income tax surely has to outweigh the increased sales tax.

3. Great bus service!
Again, Victoria, stop whining. The buses run more frequently, with a higher percentage of area covered, and for less money than any other city I've been to. Also, there are buses to RURAL AREAS. And not an "extra charge, runs twice a day, Mon-Fri only" bus: like once every two hours (or more!) 5+ days.

Also: it's cheap! Bears repeating.

4. The outside!
Guys, you can take buses to PROVINCIAL PARKS. Public buses! And then you can hike for seven hours, skipping the big trails because the park is so big, and then you can take the bus home. Nature is, like, RIGHT THERE!

5. PRIDE
Victoria has gay people being visibly gay in public without visible fear. Businesses can support Pride without having to make gay people their main target audience, because you can be comfortable with gay people without having to be a specifically gay-themed business. I danced with a girl at a public concert that wasn't part of Pride and didn't have to worry.

6. Utilities
Again with the cheap! My pals here who pay utilities pay less per kilowatt hour, plus they get to use less energy over all.

7. Minimum wage
Minimum wage here is high and getting higher. All you have to do is find an apartment (and vacancies here seem very comparable to what I'm used to seeing everywhere else) and with how cheap things are out here, you could absolutely afford to live off minimum wage!

Reasons I am not living in Victoria
No one here will call me for an interview, because I don't already live here. But if I move here without a job, no one's going to rent to me.

I need MAGIC.

possibilities @ 2011-05-01T11:24:00

2011-05-01T17:24:00Z

It is summer in Edmonton!

For defintions of "summer" that include "it snowed three days ago, and it's up to PLUS TEN now."

But all the important trappings of summer are here: bubbles and hula hoops and sidewalk chalk and barbeques, and a distinct lack of post-secondary students crowding the buses.

The real important things, though, are bubbles and sidewalk chalk. That is my plan for today. I'm going to download some knitting podcasts and plop myself down on the front walk, and there will be chalk.

And life will be good.

If you're playing with sidewalk chalk, how could life not be good?

[Provided one refuses to think about tomorrow's federal election. Oi.]

possibilities @ 2011-04-10T20:24:00

2011-04-11T02:23:38Z

So my brain! It is doing better. I know the internet has a serious hate-on for SSRIs, but my brain and Celexa are getting on quite well. I'd even still be losing weight, if it weren't for the sudden influx of potato chips and really great documentaries to watching while I'm chowing down.

I've got a gazillion bad habits and thought patterns to break, but I absolutely can start working on that now, instead of just staring at crap reality TV all evening and grumping at work all day.

Like yesterday. I was down in the dumps in the morning. I felt like POO. So I taught myself to crochet. Why? Because moping wasn't productive, and when I evaluated my mood (instead of freaking out that I wasn't productive), I didn't think I could address the Resume Problem.*

So I learned to crochet, which has been on my Must Learn list for ages. This time, I finally stuck to it until I got it. While I worked on it, on having a goal and solving a problem, I wasn't listening to all the negative voices in my head. And eventually I told them to shut it, because hey! I'm learning something awesome and creative and skillful and intricate. And that makes me a bit more awesome and creative and skilled and intricate, even if I'm not making great things -- yet.

And then I had six inches of crochet shawl.

Next up is learning to follow a crochet pattern, so that my next project isn't quite so whack-a-do in design and angles. For now, I'm just reminding myself how all my favourite high-fashion stuff is whack-a-do in nature! Maybe my current shawl just really wants to be a Mondo Guerra creation.**

* My doctor and I agree that Job Suckitude is a major problem that needs to be solved, but when one is a desperate, hopeless, negative, miserable mess, it is not the best time to be putting together a positive snappy resume and rocking interviews.

** In addition to documentaries, I'm really into Project Runway right now, which doesn't count as "crap reality TV" because hello! Mondo! Polka dots! Colours! COLOURS!

possibilities @ 2011-03-01T20:24:00

2011-03-02T03:24:27Z

This week has been awesome and awful. I haven't really let myself go backwards physically -- much. But this year is also about getting my head in order, and it's been a damn rough week on that front. It's a bad time at work for me, and I'm terrified for my doctor's appointment on Thursday.

I haven't had a doctor who was MY doctor since I left my pediatrician at 16. I've let a lot of things slide that I probably shouldn't have, because they just didn't seem like Medicentre type things. (This is easier to justify when you've been scared of doctors as long as you remember!) Thursday is my evaluation appointment with a family doctor, who may or may not take me on. And it's really nerve-wracking! What if he sucks? What if he doesn't like me? What if he thinks I'm a flake for not having a doctor for 10 years? What if I'm really sick and just didn't know it?

I came home from work today, and instead of having a beer (which I really, really, really wanted -- oh Trois Pistoles!) I got on the elliptical. I "ran" an eight-minute mile, and then because the music was good and because I could, I kept going for 50 more minutes.

Then my iPod magically switched playlists without my input and started a song about vindaloo, so I decided it was time for supper. I think I feel a lot better than I would have if I'd just gone for the beer.

So I'll take that as a score one for the getting mentally healthy task!

I still really want a Trois Pistole and some vindaloo, though.

possibilities @ 2011-02-21T22:29:00

2011-02-22T05:28:57Z

This morning, I was feeling ranty that women aren't encouraged to work out with weights. Resistance training? Sure, you'll carry things better, have better balance, build bone mass you are really going to need. But you might end up looking like a strong person, and we can't have that for a woman!

I was letting it percolate all day, especially while I was watching Village on a Diet (CBC, I love you) and doing my arm workouts (72 push-ups, I love you more!)

Then I was running on the elliptical and Hawaii 5-0 came on (TV in front of the home elliptical, I love you). I got distracted.

Suddenly, my daily running total (at level 10! I love you) was up to 15k.

Fifteen kilometres.

For some perspective, the most I have ever run before in a single day was 5.5 km, and I did it in two stints, over 2 hours.

Tonight, I randomly upped that by 10k. In three stints, over 2 hours. (I love that I managed this. BUT DON'T DO THIS. It is a terrible idea. Plan out how you will get to where the shower is before attempting this. You will need one badly.)

I'd write my rant about weights, because it's still percolating. But I'm too busy hurting. It is a good hurt now -- an I-am-powerful hurt, an I-did-THAT??-WOOO hurt.

Ask me again in the morning. Assuming I can get to my keyboard.

possibilities @ 2011-02-06T21:25:00

2011-02-07T04:26:02Z

I used to write. It was important to me. It was communication, and it mattered to me to make it good.

Now I write tweets, text messages, status updates, and the shortest-possible work emails. I still write, but it says nothing about who I am. There is nothing that says, "This is why you should be interested in what I have to say."

I worry a lot that I don't write anymore because there is no reason for anyone to be interested in what I have to say.

There is a communication blockage in my life. I take in all this information -- I read and watch TV copiously, and I listen -- but it never gets out. In the bittorrent of life, I am a seriously nasty leecher.

I want to start writing things that are real again. Words that say things and that matter. I keep saying, "Oh, I don't have enough time" but the truth is that I have lots of time. I just don't make the time. I don't make the time for most of the things that used to be important to me. Something happened, and I walked away from everything creative and communicative in my life, and I used time as an excuse.

Today, I did not remember to make time to write. But I wrote this little something anyway, because if I don't start somewhere, then I don't start at all.

Hark! For it is a post.

2011-02-04T03:05:42Z

First
I live!

Second
There are four new people on my bowling team. My original bowling team quit via text message, and it crushed me. But I found newbies (on Ravelry!) and now I have a full team again! I was really proud that I didn't give up.

Third
When exported properly, it even has proper-looking not-fuzzy lines. Adobe Illustrator and I, we've had some moments. Long moments. Painstaking node-by-node moments.

Fourth
I can do a mile on the elliptical, at level 9, in under 10 minutes. I've worked hard for that!

Fifth
I can knit sonic screwdrivers. I even made my own pattern to do Eleven's! It's pretty awesome.

possibilities @ 2010-09-28T20:50:00

2010-09-29T02:49:56Z

Work keeps kicking my butt, and then there's depression and a job search, but that's another post.

This one is about knitting.

I made a hat. It's awesome. It's a Where's Waldo hat -- red and white and a nice red pompom on top. It's 3 years' worth of birthday presents for a pal from university, and I liked knitting stocking stitch in the round very much; it was wonderfully mindless and almost a gift to myself!

Right now, I'm working on a lime green beret. Kind of. I am trying to combine two patterns: the spiral idea from Reverie Beret with the stitch pattern from the Tilting Tardis Cowl.

I'm tearing it out a lot. I tried to work a spiral rib stitch for the bottom, because I thought a spiral rib would look nicer than regular rib, but it didn't turn out. (Yet: It didn't work out yet. Spiral rib might might be on again for tomorrow's attempt.)

Now I've figured out that I need either 70, 79, or 87 stitches at cast-on. Alas, I need an even number for the ribbing, and 70 is just too small to fit around my circular needles! 87 is too big and an odd number.

I am kind of stuck at trying to make some sort of ribbing pattern that agrees with 79 stitches, because it is the perfect size for my head. Knitting with bigger needles might let me get away with 70 stitches -- but I'm not sure, and I don't already own any bigger circular needles.

I knit a lot now. It helps me not to stab people, even though I've got wonderfully handy things to stab with always so nearby.

Wheeee-BOOM

2010-07-12T02:29:07Z

I got roller blades today. Now I am 80 Canadian Tire cents richer (and 17 800 Canadian cents poorer.)

I haven't been roller blading in at least 10 years, probably more.

I'm not sure who enjoyed it more: me, or the people watching me try to stay upright! I found my balance after a bit, and ended up going for a long time.

I only did one face plant, two knee-slides, and a butt plant -- when I discovered while going down a ramp that this pair has no brakes -- and a slam into a street sign.

I think my arms are going to fall off. Somehow, my shoulders feel the worst: maybe it was all the pinwheeling trying to stay up.

It was tons of fun, and my health has gotten a lot better. I can go further and harder with things, like roller blading, than I could have imagined possible three months ago.

My life: knitting and Doctor Who

2010-05-24T04:00:51Z

In late March, I learned how to knit.

Everyone in my family knows how to knit, except me and my dad. He never wanted to learn, and I just somehow got forgotten about when the rest of the cousins got taught. It might have had something to do with how I refused to learn to tie my shoes -- knitting is really just tying fancy knots with big sticks.*

But now I know how to knit!

I made a stripey garter stitch scarf, which is shorter than I would have liked, but I got bored. I made a giant seed stitch coaster-thing that sits under my coffee press at work.

Then I made celery. See, I'm watching a lot of Doctor Who, and what is better than a knit celery broach? Nothing, I tell you. Nothing is.** The frimbly bits of the lettuce leaf were extremely fun to do, and involved a whole lot of learning new stitches and methods.

Then I started making a stuffed Tardis (are you noticing a theme here?) Alas, it's in stocking stitch, and apparently, I hate stocking stitch. I'm not quite done the first side panel yet. I feel like I will never be done the first side panel, and then there are three more to go. I also think that stranding the colours across the back will making the duplicate stitching difficult, but I am not frogging three weeks of work now, especially as I frogged the Tardis thrice already.

In a fit of madness from the stocking stitch, I have begun a Dalek dishcloth. It's illusion knitting, so the idea is that when you first see it, it will be green and brown stripes, then a Dalek will appear if you look at the right angle. We shall see if this happens.

If you think my entire life seems like knitting and Doctor Who lately, you are right.

However, my commute is about to increase by 50 minutes a day, and I can't knit on the crowded bus. Since I can no longer read on the bus, I might need to pick up crochet to pass the time. Then I suspect my life will be all Ice Pilots NWT and crochet.

* I did not learn to tie my shoelaces until grade 6, so people thought perhaps I was just too dull. It was the first time in my life I wanted a pair of laced shoes more than a pair with velcro. As long as all the shoes I wanted were slip-ons or velcro, I thought it pointless to tie laces.

That said, as I small child, I did an absurd amount of macrame, so it wasn't like I couldn't tie perfectly good knots.

** Not even my season 16 scarf, which kind of eats me up whenever I put it on -- it ended a bit longer than the real S16 scarf, and I am quite a lot smaller than Tom Baker. I did not make that myself; I'd be knitting into my next lifetime, and I'm not sure acrylic from Wal-Mart would follow me into the beyond.

possibilities @ 2010-04-23T23:50:00

2010-04-24T05:50:38Z

It was long aso sestablished that i am not doo drunkt tif i can still spell subjunctive
so

SUBJUNCTIVE

just don't ask me what is tmeans wright now okay?

possibilities @ 2010-04-13T23:18:00

2010-04-14T05:18:57Z

I haven't been posting in ages, because I'm sort of at a stage where there's nothing new good to say about my life. Work is just really tough, and everything else is the same-old same-old.

The work isn't tough, but the office politics are killing me. Again: same-old same-old.

I'm starting to consider redefining what "friend" means. Maybe if I am unsure if I can trust you not to hurt me, you aren't a friend. Or shouldn't be. Anyway, I'm sure that doesn't really apply to anyone on my f-list.

I just look at the blank screen lately, and my fingers try to type "wah wah wah blah blah, life sucks." But life's not that bad: I'm just in an in-between time, and feeling pulled apart.

I have been mind-writing an entry about food for ages. Maybe someday I'll actually write it!

Holy decade, you guys!

2010-01-01T03:36:09Z

This decade did not start well. 2000 wasn't bad; my life unravelled in 2001.

I got to university in 2004, and it was a major turning point in my life. I was safe and I had friends.

2008 involved leaving that behind and forging a new life. I kind of sucked at that, and went back to the Before place.

2009 has been crazy! I was miserable at a job and got laid off in January -- the best thing that ever happened to my career, although when I was job searching I certainly didn't feel that. I got a new job that, mostly, is fantastic for me.

I went on two vacations by myself, which I've never done before. My last pure no-work, no-family vacation was in March 2000, to Spain with school. This year, I went to Halifax and to Victoria. It was fantastic.

I saw 6 concerts, although it feels like more. I am in love with live music. And dancing! I am a crap dancer now, but I loved to dance before this decade, and I am thrilled to have it back.

Most importantly, I am alive. Take THAT, motherfuckers of the earlier years.

This past month has been terribly hard, for various reasons -- some new, some unexpected, and some annual.

I don't know where 2010 is going. I'd like it to take my home out of Edmonton -- but I want my job to come with me! How problematic.

But I am alive. And again, take that. You did not kill me off. And I'm doing better and stronger than I have before in my life, regardless of how screwed up I still am. I'm damn near preening here.

possibilities @ 2009-12-01T19:51:00

2009-12-02T02:51:54Z

Despite the fact that I hate the Starlite Room on principle -- they are smug and annoying even through their website -- I'm going there on Thursday to see illScarlett.

Other news is ... same-old, same-old. I continue to struggle with my family -- set off by a cousin this time. I continue to have roommate troubles; ranting about his increasingly erratic behaviour got me advice from some mental health workers to never be alone with him unless there was a locked door between us (not exactly soothing).

Work is good, really good, right now. I've been trusted very suddenly with a lot more work at a much higher level, including training people and reviewing my own work at its higher stages, instead of having another person do it.

There's been other emotional stuff, largely related to it being December and me hating December. Other emotional stuff is... well, emotional. And not for public entries.

Ramblings what have been on my mind.

2009-11-22T04:26:51Z

Lately, I have been reading an awful lot of blogs by women who were abused as children. A lot of them are roughly my age.

They say things like, "I remember when I thought everyone was X" or "Now I know Y isn't true about me" or "I used to think everyone panicked when they talked too loud, because sometimes I got hit for that and didn't know it's okay to be loud as a Real Adult."

And I say: Really? For seriousness? That's not normal?

It makes me feel like an alien. When you were a kid and you were hungry, did you really just ask for food and get it? Were you really never scared to be caught typing too loudly? Did you really never stay up late because mom was playing Solitare and if she lost, you'd be in for it? Did your parents really never steal your money because you were nine-years-old and a slut who didn't deserve to have her own money? Really really?

And while I have this vague idea that my family really was worst than most, how bad is that, really? Mostly I'm just whiney... right?

The internet tells me that is actually pretty bad.

I don't know. What do I have to compare it to? Maybe I'm actually terrified of people for a good reason, though.

When Fandoms Collide

2009-11-09T04:56:33Z

Watching Stargate Universe, which I'm enjoying as sci-fi if not as Stargate.

Hey, that guy looks familiar. Hey... HEY! LITTLE MOSQUE ON THE PRAIRIE! On Stargate!

My mind, it is blown. Actually, it is my lungs that are blown. It startled me right into an asthma attack.

This is bigger than when Little Mosque collided with Warehouse 13.

PS: I am completely in love with ~~Amaar~~ Little Mosque on the Prairie.

In Soviety Canuckistan, ice cubes you.

2009-11-08T05:39:52Z

I was going to post something meaningful, but then I got drunk.

I started a very good arguement about the order in which one should decline Latin nouns, however. Look, when you're first learning, it just makes sense to do nominative-accusative. You're going to need accusivative before genitive.

These sorts of things are the sorts of things that matter to me when drunk. Also, punctuation. For the record, I do not eat, shoot, and leave, and neither do I eat shoots and leaves.

Now is the point where I start to quote Bomb the Music Industry! lyrics, so I am going to go sober up with ANTM. But first, a convo regarding spelling.

possibilities
ME NEITHRE
That's the Canadian way to spell neithre
so that it's like metre, fibre, etc

Un-LJ'ed Best Friend
I don't believe you

possibilities
You're only not believing me because I"m drunk!

Un-LJ'ed Best Friend
no, I wouldn't believe you if you were sober either

possibilities
In Canadian, we are sobre.
In Soviet Canuckistan, time sobres you.

Un-LJ'ed Best Friend
I heart Soviet Canuckistan, but I refuse to spell things -re

possibilities
But... the theatre!
Litres of vodka!
do you not love them?
You do not love them
WELL VODKA DOESN"T LOVE YOU EITHER
And ice?
well, in Soviet Canuckistan, Ice cubes you.

If you are a prude, I should be dead.

2009-10-24T04:05:07Z

Thieved from ariake

1. Smoked: No
2. Consumed alcohol: Frequently
3. Slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex: Yes
4. Slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex: Yes
5. Kissed someone of the same sex: Yes
6. Had sex: Yes.
7. Had someone in your room other than family: Yes
8. Watched porn: Yes
9. Bought porn: Yes (for my cousin; I don't know if I'd pay for myself! That's why we have the internet.)
10. Tried drugs: No

8/10

1. Taken painkillers: Yes
2. Taken someone else's prescription medicine: Yes
3. Lied to your parents: Yes
4. Lied to a friend: Yes
5. Snuck out of the house: Yes
6. Done something illegal: Yes
7. Felt hurt: Yes
8. Hurt someone: Yes
9. Wished someone to die: Yes
10. Seen someone die: No

17/20

1. Missed curfew: Yes
2. Stayed out all night: Yes
3. Eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself: Yes
4. Been to a therapist: Yes
5. Been to rehab: No
6. Dyed your hair: Yes
7. Received a ticket: No
8. Been in an accident: Yes
9. Been to a club: Yes
10. Been to a bar: Yes

25/30

1. Been to a wild party: No
2. Been to a Mardi Gras parade: No
3. Drank more than three alcoholic beverages in a night: Yes
4. Had a spring break in Florida: No
5. Sniffed anything: Yes
6. Worn black nail polish: Yes
7. Worn arm bands: Yes
8. Worn tshirts with band names: Yes
9. Listened to rap: Yes
10. Owned a 50 Cent CD: No

31/40

1. Dressed Gothic: Yes
2. Dressed girly: Yes
3. Dressed punk: Yes
4. Dressed grunge: No
5. Stole something: Yes
6. Been too drunk to remember anything: No (I always remember at least 1 thing!)
7. Blacked out: Yes
8. Fainted: Yes
9. Had a crush on a neighbor: Yes

38/39

1. Had a crush on a friend: Yes
2. Been to a concert: Yes
3. Dry humped someone: Yes
4. Been called a slut: Yes
5. Called someone a slut: Yes
6. Installed speakers in your car: No
7. Broken a mirror: Yes
8. Showered at someone of the opposites sex's house: Yes
9. Brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush: Yes

46/48

1. Consider/considered Ludacris your favorite rapper: No
2. Seen an R rated movie in theater: Yes
3. Cruised the mall: Yes
4. Skipped school: Yes
5. Had surgery: No
6. Had an injury: Yes
7. Gone to court: No
8. Walked out of a restaurant without paying/tipping: Wait, without tipping? Yes.
9. Caught something on fire: Yes
10. Lied about your age: Yes

53/58

1. Owned/rented an apartment: Yes
2. Broken the law in the police's presence: Yes
3. Made out with someone who had a gf/bf: No (kissed, but not made out with!)
4. Got in trouble with the police: Yes
5. Talked to a stranger: Yes
6. Hugged a stranger: Yes
7. Kissed a stranger: Yes
8. Rode in the car with a stranger: Yes
9. Been harassed: Yes
10. Been verbally harassed: Yes

62/68

1. Met face-to-face with someone you met online: Yes
2. Stayed online for 5+ hours straight: Yes
3. Talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight: Yes
4. Watched TV for 5 hours straight: Yes
5. Been to a fair: Yes
6. Been called a bad influence: Yes
7. Drink and drive: No.
8. Prank-called someone: Yes
9. Laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex: Yes
10. Cheated on a test: Yes

71/78

If you have less than 10.. [I'm lame]
If You Have More Than 10.. [I'm still a goody goody]
If You Have more Than 20.. [I'm average]
If You Have More Than 30.. [I'm a bad kid]
If You have more than 40.. [I'm a very bad influence]
If You Have more than 50.. [I'm a horrible person]
If You Have more than 60.. [I should be in jail]

If You Have more than 70.. [I should be dead]

possibilities @ 2009-10-21T21:53:00

2009-10-22T04:04:43Z

So I'm on the board for this housing co-op that's just starting up. I got railroaded into being on the board, from general membership, twice now. I go to all the meetings, I type the minutes usually on time. I go in more often than ANY other board member, including the president, to sign paperwork.

Basically, because I am secretary, I have already spent at least twice as much time on things as anyone else, because the position's workload is twice as much.

I never, ever ask for special considerations. When they decide meeting dates, I say, "Give me a day and time, and I will be here." When they call and say, "We need something signed... can you come quickly?" I leave work early to go.

Today, I said, "Can we please have our next meeting at the earliest possible time that works for people? Earlier than 7pm would be great, if it's do-able for everyone else."

Well, someone made a big fuss about how that's way too early and just asking way too much. It isn't fair to assume everyone has my schedule, you know! She can't possibly be expected to come before 7.

So I said, "What's a good start time for you?" And we decided on that time, because I said, "If that's the earliest that's okay for you, then of course I'm fine with it. I'd like to do it earlier, but I'd rather not someone to miss out."

And really, I am fine with it. But I hated her attitude. I haven't asked anything of this co-op before, and all the other Board members have had meetings moved to fit their schedule. Every single one. Except me.

Also: these people get to live in the co-op when it's built. I was accepted, despite the fact I didn't meet their requirements. So even though I have done more work than any other board memeber, they all get houses out of the deal and me? I get kicked out of the co-op the day the first person moves in.

So if I'd rather meet at 6:30 than 7:00, why is it so offensive to say so?

Recipe: Black Chickpeas in Mustard Sauce

2009-10-19T01:49:14Z

about 1/3 cup of dried black chickpeas
2 tbsp olive oil
2 tbsp prepared mustard
1/8 tsp cayenne powder
1.5 tbsp minced garlic
500mL broth of some sort

Soak the chickpeas overnight and through the day, with about double their amount in water. (Soaking isn't necessarily required, but will make them cook a lot quicker. You can also toss unsoaked beans into the slow cooker in the morning, and they'll be great by night.) When you're ready to use them, pour out the soaking water and rinse them off.

Heat on high the olive oil in a pot, and add the caynne and garlic. Stir them around till the garlic starts to look a little browned.
Turn the heat down to around mid-way, and add the mustard. Stir some more.
Add the chickpeas. Stir until they are coated completely. This is the point where I mixed up my broth from a powder mix.
Add the broth. Bring to boil, then turn heat down to just below boiling and cover the pot.

The chickpeas will be cooked in about 45-60 minutes, depending on how long they were soaked beforehand.

I served it with mashed potatoes and mixed veggies.

You could used canned chickpeas, but I've never seen canned black ones. You could use normal white chickpeas, but I think the mustard-y taste is even better with the black.

Gogol Bordello

2009-10-10T23:10:52Z

Wednesday night I saw Gogol Bordello. It was am amazing show. Tied with Reel Big Fish -- my favourite band -- for sheer awesome, and I hear that they've played better shows.

In meatspace, I have a pretty strict no-touching rule. (Most people can't deal with "ask permission/ give warning", which is what I actually like, so I say no touch at all for simplicity's sake.)

But I love the smashing, packed floor of a good show. I like touch, and in 5 minutes, my OMG DANGER sense is overwhelmed and I can just have fun. (Why a room of strangers is the only place i'm comfy letting that guard down is a mystery to me.)

So I jump and scream and dance and mosh and am touched and sometimes punched, and if the music is great too, it's a bonus.

Gogol Bordello: I highly recommend them. Even if you stay off the floor, or just listen at home.

Even if I'm pretty sure I broke a knuckle in the mosh pit.

(At least I didn't get bit on the head as at Social Distortion.)

But it's cold!

2009-10-02T21:40:26Z

Last night was suspiciously quiet. No Mexican Polka, no barking dogs... not even squeaky pipes. Today, both of Noisy Neighbours' vans were gone, and the dog's stuff was absent from the yard.

My neighbours moved without telling me.

My neighbours who have the gas account for the house I live in moved without telling me.

I only worked a half day, then came home to Deal With Shit.

I called the landlord and confirmed: I have to get a gas account ($200 deposit = probably not buying food this month).

I called Noisy Neighbour's cell and left a message that he'd better get me the money on his share of power and water, and I of course would give him any left owing from me to his gas account.

I called Direct Energy and set up the account to start Monday (please god, gas, stay turned on till then).

I called Epcor and pestered them about when my $300 deposit from them is returned. (Probably the October 5 bill; otherwise, the November bill; but I will definitely be recieving it.)

I called the City and had them refund my fee for a yoga class I was going to take -- it was cancelled.

Then I cleaned -- just a little! -- and cooked a little -- half of the meal has been completed, at least.

Now, I need to take a quick nap, then go buy Pretty Princess supplies for tonight's theme at bowling.

(My actual bowling league doesn't do themes, unless you count Tolerance of That One Annoying Team That Does Themes. Last week was Moustaches, before that was Pirates.)

About People Who Rape Children

2009-09-30T01:50:24Z

My co-workers seem to often walk the line of inappropriate in the office: lots of conversations about politics and religion. And I like it that way. We are adults; we should be able to talk about this stuff. Today's topic: Roman Polanski.

There is this coworker who I used to think was pretty cool. He's good at his job, he's smart, he's funny, and when his work lands on my desk, it's well done ( = less work for me).

His contribution: "Well... It isn't fair that they arrested him, really. He's made so many great films! You have to think about that. And, even so, his wife was killed by Charles Manson, and the films still have really advanced film-making." [Not a direct quotation: I removed several interruptions by others, and mostly concentrated on retaining his message.]

Excuse me? The fact that he drugged and raped a child is forgivable because he made good movies? And he shouldn't be punished because he lost something? As if the CHILD he raped didn't suffer a lose.

And furthermore, you would say that in public? In front of women? 1 in 3 women in Canada -- one-third mind you -- have been sexually abused before they turn 18. And you would say this in front of them? I can't even touch how wrong it is to think that, but to say it is tangible enough for me to be angry.

And I was angry. I was so angry.

I don't know what happened to my rapist. I was 9, and I don't know what happened to him. Did he turn out to make fantastic movies that frightened people? Did he make powerful music that made them cry? Did he stop drinking and drugs, and become an inspiration that saved the lives of dozens on his reserve?

Does it matter if he did?

Raping someone doesn't take away your accomplishments, done before or after the crime. Raping someone doesn't mean you don't feel horrible when someone you love dies.

It does mean you committed a crime. It's the sort of crime where you can't put things right with the victim, ever. And if the lawful punishment means the criminal suffers greatly and loses out on the chance to make more "beautiful" things, then OH WELL.

To me, it doesn't matter if the man who raped me turned out to do great things, or if he turned out to do terrible things. He did a terrible thing. He didn't suffer for it. He was never punished, because people who should have known better excused him, and being a kid, I couldn't get it done on my own.*

You shouldn't get to fuck kids and get away with it.

People like my coworkers are the reason why people can fuck kids and get away with it.

And the saddest thing: my coworker probably doesn't even realize this.

* I never expected to make a post that said these things about myself, and I'm not quite sure why I'm doing it now. I'm leaving comments on, but don't plan on having them emailed to myself. I would very much like comments to this entry, if you're inclined to leave them. But I don't want hugs or such expressions of sympathy towards myself, here or other places, until/unless I ask for that. And I will or won't respond to comments as time/emotional energy/my desire allows. Just a pre-emptive FYI.

I've been building towards a cracking point since the start of the month. My Licorice was the touchpoint, the cornerstone, in my life that was there and unchanged and good before I was 9 and after I was 9.

And today was the cracking point. When I heard my coworker say what he did, I was furious. It was unspeakable rage. I held in a while, but left work early and with several items half-done (a big no-no). I didn't care. I was too angry to stay.

On the bus home, I realized something: I don't remember a single point in the last 15 years where I wouldn't have responded by huddling under my desk and crying.

I came home. I drank a beer (thank you, Alexander Keith). I chopped an onion and a bunch of tomatoes and made a delicious curry. And while I was doing dishes, this post decided I was going to write it.

And... it feels... okay. Not good. Not bad.

I have alternated between bouncy and nauseated all night, and right now, about to hit "Post", I am both.

After this, there is TV to watch, and maybe a blog to read*, dishes to finish drying, and bedtime. And maybe, just maybe, being brave and checking comments.

* Reasons You Shouldn't Fuck Kids is a current favourite.

possibilities @ 2009-09-27T20:17:00

2009-09-28T02:42:20Z

I have a temperature of 37.5. Normally I run about 36 in the evenings, so combined with my incoming ear infection, I think I am sick. I'm unsure if I want to still have a fever, a proper fever, in the morning, or not.

Today was a pretty good day, by which I mean I read and made decent supper. I did a load of laundry, and dropped alcohol on it (sorry, clothes!)

I watched an ep of "Defying Gravity". I have an absolute crush on Maxim Roy. So purdy! Also, I want her hair, either from ReGenesis or this series.

I just put forth that 7 people have 140 toes while participating in an orgy and should therefore wear socks.

I am going to bed before participating in a PG-13 community starts sounding like a good idea.