playedrough

love in the language used

playedrough — Tue, 06 Oct 2015 23:44:53 GMT

love in the language used
1619 words / suho x sehun / pg-13 / angst, romance
They learn sign language together after it happens.
warnings: n/a
a/n: title from this

They learn sign language together after it happens.

They take classes at a local community college every afternoon after Junmyeon gets home from work. The classes last for an hour and the lessons hold them over until they go home and they eat, in silence. After dinner, they sit on the couch together and they watch the news. Sehun reads the headlines and Junmyeon listens to the stories.

They do this until they tire and the sky grows dark. Then, they curl up in bed and Junmyeon signs to Sehun the first thing he’d learned and Sehun signs it back.

“I love you,” Junmyeon signs.

“I love you,” Sehun signs, too.

♡♡♡

They hoped his hearing would come back, but it didn’t. They awaited a miracle for two weeks, but their luck just wasn’t good enough. So, Junmyeon signed them up for lessons, because Sehun turns out to be poor at lip reading and, for some reason, admits that he feels awkward talking when he can't hear it himself.

It’s only been a week since they’d started taking lessons, but Junmyeon thinks the silence is so unnerving that every sound he hears from Sehun is like music. The squeak that Sehun had made when he accidentally cut his finger on a tin can had been like a tune, the sound that had escaped Sehun when he almost tripped on their rug had been like a song, and the moan that slipped from Sehun’s lips when they were kissing the other night had been like a full-out orchestral performance, complete, sections full and all.

It’s rare, Junmyeon thinks, and sounds will most likely be a rarity for as long as they’re together, but, he reasons, hands can do just as much talking as the mouth can, and they can touch and feel, too.

♡♡♡

Their hands are still shaky and inexperienced two weeks later. They practice some nights instead of watching the news, sitting on the couch, facing each other and trying to recite vocabulary. Sometimes, Sehun messes up and he lets out a sound like a laugh and Junmyeon smiles and laughs, too, only to stop moments later because he remembers Sehun can’t hear it and gets a little sad. Maybe Sehun picks up on this, too, because his smiles fade just as quickly as they appear.

“Hi, how are you,” they sign to each other.

“Dishes,” Sehun signs, just because it’s a word they’d learned that day. He’s trying to practice his vocabulary, looking at some flashcards that had been provided by their instructor. He signs, “Mop.”

Their lesson a few hours before had been about household chores and appliances. Sehun signs, “Microwave oven.”

Junmyeon signs back, “Stove.”

Sehun signs, “Garbage disposal.”

Junmyeon signs back, “Lawn mowing.”

Sehun laughs again, but Junmyeon doesn’t do anything more than smile.

“Dog,” Sehun signs. They’d learned animals the day before.

“Elephant,” Junmyeon signs back.

“Rabbit,” Sehun signs.

“Tiger,” Junmyeon signs back.

“Bored,” Sehun signs, pulling from the emotions vocabulary he’d learned a week ago.

“Are you bored?” Junmyeon signs. He’s always been a quick learner, but Sehun hasn’t, so Sehun takes a few seconds to connect the signs. Instead of signing back, though, Sehun nods.

“I want,” Sehun signs. He flips through his flashcards, looking at all of them deliberately, trying to make a good decision. He signs, “Dance.”

“Dance?” Junmyeon signs. Sehun nods. He stands up and holds a hand out for Junmyeon’s. Junmyeon smiles and takes Sehun’s hand. He stands up, too, and Sehun moves them away from the coffee table in their living room and into a small patch of empty space in front of their television. He slings his arms over Junmyeon’s shoulders and looks at Junmyeon’s hands, expectant. Junmyeon puts his hands on Sehun’s waist and Sehun smiles at him, nodding.

Then, Sehun starts swaying. It’s tuneless yet rhythmic, Sehun keeping them to the time of his own silent beat. Then, he starts counting the beats aloud, and they start to do some sort of modified waltz, their feet shuffling on the carpet. After a while, though, Sehun stops counting, and they go back to swaying in silence. At some point, Sehun takes Junmyeon’s hand in his, holds Junmyeon’s arm up, and bends a bit to be able to do a spin. He’s delighted as he does as such, and Junmyeon can tell, because he laughs, and a symphony rings in Junmyeon’s head.

Sehun dances them into their room and they fall into bed. He falls backwards from the foot of it, bringing Junmyeon down onto his body. Junmyeon lies above him and Sehun smiles up at him. Junmyeon looks into Sehun’s eyes and it’s cheesy, so cheesy, but, Sehun isn’t looking back. Instead, Sehun’s eyes seem to flicker from Junmyeon’s eyes to his nose to his cupid’s bow to his lips and back up to his eyes again. Then, Sehun smiles, and Junmyeon smiles, leaning down to kiss him.

They make love a little bit later, and then fall back onto their pillows together, side by side, sweaty and spent. Junmyeon almost wants an encore of all the noises Sehun had made, every moan, every whine, every whimper, but that would be selfish of him, he thinks, because Sehun seems tired, soft, sleepy.

He feels Sehun shift a bit and then feels three pokes to the back of his shoulder. Junmyeon turns and Sehun’s rolled over onto his side. Junmyeon does the same, facing Sehun. Sehun smiles and he signs, “Goodnight.”

Junmyeon signs back, “Goodnight.”

Sehun signs, “I love you.”

And Junmyeon signs, “I love you.”

♡♡♡

Hands could convey more than Junmyeon could ever say, but Sehun has never been too physical or verbal about his feelings, so maybe, Junmyeon thinks, he just couldn’t take it anymore, because, one night, on the couch, Sehun bursts into tears and Junmyeon holds him with his whole body, trying to pet Sehun to calmness.

Sehun had been tearing up a little bit all day, but Junmyeon didn’t expect for this to happen. It’s normal for people to be sad sometimes.

But Sehun is getting tears on Junmyeon’s pajama shirt, sobbing. Junmyeon doesn’t know the sign language for “what’s wrong”, so he just signs, “what” and hopes that Sehun will see it through his tears. Junmyeon isn’t sure if Sehun does, but Sehun starts talking, anyway.

“I miss your voice,” Sehun cries. He’s choking his words out through sobs. “I miss it so much, I want to hear it again.”

Junmyeon rocks Sehun back and forth like he’s a child. Sehun weeps. He says, “I’m scared of never hearing your voice ever again. I wouldn’t care if I just stopped hearing music, that’s okay. I just want to hear your voice.”

Junmyeon doesn’t know how to sign, “it’s okay”, so, instead, he runs his hands down Sehun’s body and tries to assure him it’ll be okay with his hands a different way. Sehun, sitting in Junmyeon’s lap and putting his face into Junmyeon’s neck, keeps crying. Junmyeon kisses Sehun’s forehead. Sehun says, “I miss it. I miss it so much I didn’t love it enough when I could hear it and now I miss it.”

“It’s okay,” Junmyeon says out loud, on accident. Then, he just keeps patting Sehun’s back, because Sehun didn’t hear it, anyway. Couldn’t have heard it.

Sehun keeps crying into Junmyeon’s neck, onto Junmyeon’s skin, and it’s warm, and Junmyeon can’t do anything but hold Sehun, cradling him and collecting him in his own arms, hugging his body with all of his, trying to sooth by swaying from side to side. Before, when Sehun was sad and crying, Junmyeon would tell him, “It’s okay, it’s okay, shh, shh, shh, it’s okay,” but to say it now would be worthless and painful.

“I love you so much, I love you so much, and I just want to hear you say you love me, too,” Sehun says. “Just once, I want to hear your voice, saying it, I want to.”

Junmyeon doesn’t know what to do, doesn’t know what to sign, so he keeps patting Sehun’s back, running his fingers through Sehun’s hair, petting the spot behind Sehun’s ear that gives Sehun a pleasant tickle.

Sehun cries for a few more minutes and then the sound starts to go away. It’s the only sound that sounds like a cacophony to Junmyeon, one that sounds like cymbals crashing right by his eardrum. For a moment, he wishes that he, too, were deaf, but then he stops thinking that immediately, because he would miss Sehun’s voice too much, just as Sehun misses his.

Sehun says, “I want to sleep.”

Junmyeon knows Sehun could just as well sign it, but Sehun doesn’t. Junmyeon gathers all his strength and struggles a bit, but he manages to carry Sehun into their room, laying him on the bed. Sehun immediately burrows into the sheets and hits Junmyeon’s side of the bed. Junmyeon takes that as cue for him to lie down beside Sehun. Once he’s in bed, he starts to hold Sehun again, and Sehun sniffles. He hiccups.

Sehun, then, brings his hands up and signs, “I love you.”

Junmyeon smiles, bringing a hand up to push Sehun’s hair away from his face. He looks Sehun in the eyes and everywhere else. He kisses Sehun and signs it back. Then, he makes sure Sehun is looking as he says, out loud, “I love you.”

Sehun’s no good at reading lips, so he looks confused. Junmyeon keeps saying it, though. He says it over and over again, enunciating until Sehun gets it. Then Sehun nods and says, too, out loud, “I love you.”

Junmyeon signs, “I love you.”

Then, they go to bed.

late night (when you need my love)

playedrough — Sun, 04 Oct 2015 04:58:33 GMT

late night (when you need my love)
4159 words / suho x sehun, side!suho x kai, side!chanyeol x sehun / r / angst
A year after they stop seeing each other, Sehun gets a text from Junmyeon saying, ‘I miss you how have you been’.
warnings: infidelity (2 counts)
a/n: title from drake's hotline bling

***

A year after they stop seeing each other, Sehun gets a text from Junmyeon saying, ‘I miss you how have you been’. Sehun doesn’t tell Junmyeon he misses him too even though he does, but he thinks it doesn’t matter as he texts back, ‘I’ve been fine, how have you been’. Then, Sehun thinks it matters because Junmyeon texts back, ‘I’ve been missing you’.

Sehun, right now, is in the bed of a guy he has been sleeping with. The guy’s name is Chanyeol and he’s asleep, an arm thrown over Sehun’s belly and a leg thrown over Sehun’s hips. Tree-esque, Sehun is stiff, staring at his phone, a glowing, 2.7” x 4.8” rectangle that seems to float in the middle of the room on its own accord, trying to light the walls. Sehun stares at his phone. Sehun thinks about throwing it across the room or setting it on fire with his eyes, but they are both things that he shouldn’t, and probably couldn’t, do.

Junmyeon texts again and Sehun’s phone trembles in his hand. Junmyeon texts, ‘It’s okay if you don’t miss me but I just wanted you to know I miss you’.

Sehun stares at his phone. His eyes sting and he wants to go to bed but he can’t now.

Junmyeon texts again and Sehun’s phone shakes again. Junmyeon texts, ‘I miss you and I love you’.

Sehun, after a moment of paralysis, texts back, ‘Stop manipulating me’.

Junmyeon texts back, ‘I’m not manipulating you’.

Sehun texts, ‘Yes you are’.

But, Sehun is weak, so he texts, too, ‘Is he there right now’.

Junmyeon texts back, ‘No, but even if he were I would be missing you’.

Sehun texts, ‘Yeah’.

Junmyeon texts back, ‘Please’.

Sehun texts, ‘No’.

Junmyeon texts back, ‘Please please please I need you’.

Sehun texts, ‘Please don’t’.

Junmyeon texts back, ‘Sehun please I love you so much’.

Then, Sehun stops texting for a minute and reaches over, pushing Chanyeol’s legs off of his lower body. He wriggles and pulls away from Chanyeol’s grasp and Chanyeol snorts and it’s ugly, Sehun thinks. Chanyeol can’t give him anything.

Sehun tries to be as quiet as he can as he pushes blankets off his body and sits up. He reaches down onto the ground and picks up whatever clothing he can find. He can’t find a sock, so he forgoes them, pulling on the rest of his outfit. He reaches for his phone again, looks at Chanyeol on the bed, and thinks, ‘Chanyeol can’t give me anything’ one more time so he doesn’t feel so bad about leaving Chanyeol’s apartment. He checks his phone, reads the time, feels doomed, and then texts Junmyeon, ‘I hate you’.

Then, he texts Junmyeon again, ‘I hate you so much I’m going over there right now and it better be real this time’.

Junmyeon texts back, ‘It’s real, I promise it’s real’.

Sehun leaves the building and texts, ‘You said that last time’.

Junmyeon texts back, ‘I know’.

It’s cryptic, Sehun thinks, too cryptic, so he texts, ‘I’m driving now don’t text me anymore’.

Sehun doesn’t start driving immediately. Instead, he stands outside of his car, which is pulled into a parking space outside of Chanyeol’s apartment complex. He recalls a time, sometime in the recent past, in which Junmyeon had texted him, similarly, and Chanyeol stood at his balcony, looked down at Sehun, and yelled for him to come back, yelled that he could give Sehun whatever he needed. Sehun recalls thinking that it was impossible, he wasn’t going to believe that again, so he got into his car and drove off to see Junmyeon.

Junmyeon had once promised him anything and everything and he hadn’t given Sehun anything, so Sehun, being undaft, vowed to never believe it again, no one could ever tell him that and mean it.

But, Sehun, being daft, couldn’t stop believing Junmyeon. Sehun didn’t want to stop believing Junmyeon and he still doesn’t, so he gets into the car, slams the door, throws his phone into the cup holder, throws on his seatbelt, and pulls out of the parking lot.

It’s been raining, so the road is slick. Street lights reflect off the cement and the ground glows green. As Sehun pulls into the city, into the streets of downtown to get to another city’s uptown, he watches nightclub lights rhythmically flash onto the pavement, playing some sort of song. At red lights, Sehun looks over at the sidewalks and he sees people, smiling and laughing and holding drinks and taking pictures together. Sehun thinks, with humour yet dryly, ‘how could the night be so alive when I feel so dead inside’.

***

Junmyeon really thinks he means it this time. He thinks it right after Jongin leaves his apartment, he thinks it right after he texts Sehun the first time, he thinks it right after he texts Sehun the second time, and he thinks it for many, many texts after that. He still thinks it when there are three knocks at his door and the clock reads 2:38 AM. He still thinks it when he puts his hand on the knob and turns it and he still thinks it when he’s looking down at shoes, at old Converse that had been a present from Junmyeon himself.

He stops thinking it, and he may stop thinking entirely when he looks up, at a face and into eyes that had once been filled with mirth and other childlike qualities. The eyes now possess a quality quite like boredom, a perpetually stoic expression now fixed onto the face that Junmyeon had once loved, still loves, so much, with ten of his heart.

Sehun, the boy standing at the door, says, “I’m here.”

Junmyeon, mouth dry, says, “I see that. Please come in.”

Junmyeon sidesteps and lets Sehun enter his apartment. Sehun finds his way easily and sits down on the couch after removing his Converse. Junmyeon stares at Sehun’s feet, bare, and offers a Wet Wipe, in case Sehun’s feet feel dirty after not wearing socks. Sehun says that it’s fine. Sehun has his hands in his pockets and Junmyeon stares at him from a safe distance, like Sehun is behind a partition, like there’s some sort of invisible barrier that needs to be torn down.

Sehun relaxes into Junmyeon’s couch and Junmyeon watches Sehun carefully. Sehun turns his head and Junmyeon catches Sehun’s glance and Sehun says, “I hate you.”

It doesn’t hurt even though it should, Junmyeon thinks, because even though Sehun is saying it now, he probably won’t be saying it later.

“What do you want from me?” Sehun asks. “I’m here, so what do you want?”

***

Sehun knows what Junmyeon wants, but he asks anyway as he’s sitting in the middle of Junmyeon’s living room, washed over with the glow of the only light in the room, daylight bulbs trying to bathe the walls with their yellow color. Junmyeon, usually pale, looks jaundiced, looks bruised and stained, looks how the sun would look if it made one poor decision too many.

But Junmyeon, standing there, makes Sehun feel as if something has illuminated. It’s like some sort of fire has been stoked and rekindled, like some sort of warmth is trying hard to get under his jacket. So, he takes his coat off and shoves it behind him as he waits for Junmyeon’s answer. Junmyeon walks closer to the couch and Sehun scoots over, making space for Junmyeon to sit.

“I want you,” Junmyeon says, and Sehun’s brain is screaming, letting Sehun know that Junmyeon is a dirty liar.

“Really?” Sehun asks instead, because it seems as if it’s not his brain that talks for him anymore, but actually his heart, thudding fast and erratically in his chest, ready to beat away, ready to run away and fall into Junmyeon’s lap.

“Of course,” Junmyeon responds. “I’ve always wanted you.”

‘Liar liar liar liar liar,’ Sehun thinks. Sehun says, “Oh. You said that last time.”

“I know, but I mean it this time,” Junmyeon says. “I promise, I do.”

“If you don’t, I’ll be mad,” Sehun says. “I’ll be more mad than last time and the time before combined.”

“I know,” Junmyeon says. “But I mean it.”

Junmyeon reaches over and puts his hand on Sehun’s lap. Sehun freezes even though Junmyeon’s palm is radiating heat. It’s so inviting and Sehun thinks he could just melt and be reduced to nothing but a pile of goo. But, instead of melting, Sehun moves, pushes his Junmyeon’s hand away in a final act of strength and says, “Prove it.”

And Sehun, because he’s given up, lets Junmyeon prove it.

***

He asks if it’s okay when he starts to take off Sehun’s clothes. They’ve relocated to Junmyeon’s bed and Sehun is beneath Junmyeon, looking up with that bored, tired expression. However, Sehun says, “Yes.”

Junmyeon asks, “Are you sure?”

Sehun says, “Yes. Please take my clothes off.”

Junmyeon says, “Okay.”

Junmyeon takes Sehun’s clothes off. He takes Sehun’s shirt, pants, and underwear off, in that order. As he does as such, he watches Sehun breathe, watches Sehun’s pale, flat chest heave, up and down, up and down, up and down and maybe he watches for too long and doesn’t do anything because then, Sehun’s chest seems to beat rapidly, and Junmyeon, who has his hands on Sehun’s after he’s undressed him, can feel sweat building on Sehun’s palms.

“You’re going to cry,” Junmyeon says. “If you want me to stop, please tell me.”

“I’m not going to cry,” Sehun says.

“Do you want me to stop?” Junmyeon asks.

“No,” Sehun says. “I want you to fuck me and make me yours again.”

Then, Junmyeon is silent because he thinks he means it again. The moment, however, is fleeting. The moment gets frightened because Junmyeon gets frightened, especially when Sehun suddenly clambers onto his knees, putting his arms on Junmyeon’s shoulders, putting his face right up to Junmyeon’s face, so close, and Junmyeon brings his hands up, puts his palms in the air and lets Sehun settle between them in case he loses balance and Junmyeon has to be there to catch him.

Junmyeon has never been able to catch him. He hasn’t ever been able to catch him physically or emotionally but he’d never admit it even though he knows.

“Can you do that?” Sehun asks. “Could you just do that, for me?”

Junmyeon stares at Sehun, who looks like nothing but a lamb leading itself to slaughter, eyes wide and imploring as they ask of Junmyeon something so dirty so innocently, something virginal in the way his body is practically still, bare, open, waiting, pale and awash with a yellow glaze that covers his skin, the color seeming almost gold to Junmyeon, whose own hands tremble as they reach out and touch, touch something that shouldn’t be, but is so wholly, his.

“I need you,” Sehun says, and Junmyeon thought he needed him, too, but now that Sehun is here, seconds away from his fingertips, he’s not so sure if he can give Sehun what he needs. “You said you needed me too and I’m here now, so you can have me.”

***

Being Junmyeon’s has never been the problem because even Sehun knows that he would do whatever Junmyeon asks. That’s why Sehun, no matter the time, drives to Junmyeon’s whenever he gets a text that so much as suggests that Junmyeon might need him for longer than three hours. But, he’s been getting better; it used to take just one text. Now, it takes maybe two or three.

The problem has always been making Junmyeon his. Sehun wants to be the one to ask for Junmyeon and get him within three seconds. He wants to be the one able to ask Junmyeon for anything and get all that he had asked in return. He wants Junmyeon to have been telling the truth when he’d made that promise in the past, the same one that Chanyeol had tried to make from the balcony. He wants to own Junmyeon the way Junmyeon may as well own him.

But, instead, he doesn’t own Junmyeon and Junmyeon is just a liar. A liar who is touching him with hurried palms and broken promises, trying to feed Sehun’s famished body through bony fingertips, attempting to salvage Sehun’s ability to trust, even though he isn’t aware of it.

Junmyeon is fully clothed, pressing his palms flat against Sehun’s chest. Junmyeon is wearing a ring on his left ring finger and it’s cold as it presses against Sehun’s skin. It’s cold, but it sears, because Sehun knows that the ring is one that matches with one that Junmyeon’s boyfriend has. Sehun doesn’t look at it and instead looks at Junmyeon’s face, which is just seconds away from his own. Junmyeon looks into Sehun’s eyes for only a moment, but he looks away quickly, down at the backs of his own hands. Sehun almost winces.

Sehun asks, “Are you going to take me or not?”

Junmyeon keeps touching, hands smoothing along Sehun’s sides. Sehun wants to scream.

Sehun says, “I’m tired, Junmyeon, I really am.”

Junmyeon finally looks back up and Sehun looks over at him.

Sehun asks, “Are you going to make me yours?”

Sehun thinks, ‘are you going to be mine?’

***

Junmyeon says yes because he’s a liar. They both know he’s a liar but neither of them want to admit it because they both have too much face to save.

Junmyeon, if he were to expose himself to Sehun as a liar, if he were to state it bluntly, would be losing his credibility. He fears that Sehun, after hearing the words come from his own mouth, would stop showing up and stop needing him.

Sehun, if he were to get Junmyeon to crack, if he were to get Junmyeon to just admit it, would be nothing but foolish. He fears that Junmyeon, after being exposed, would, in turn, expose him of being mindless, for chasing the love of a liar.

So, Junmyeon keeps lying and Sehun remains a fool, but they’re a liar and a fool together as Sehun falls back onto the bed and Junmyeon undresses.

Junmyeon fits himself between Sehun’s legs and leans down to kiss him. Junmyeon’s hands grope aimlessly as if they’re seeking something. Sehun shamelessly offers his body, pushing up into Junmyeon’s hands. Sehun reaches up and puts his hands against the sides of Junmyeon’s neck. He can feel Junmyeon’s pulse.

They kiss until they’re sweaty and hot and they have to pull away to breathe.

***

Three knuckles deep, Junmyeon says, “I can give you everything you want.”

Filled with three knuckles, Sehun asks, “Do you promise?”

Junmyeon hums as an answer and it’s so ambiguous that Sehun has to press, “Please.”

“Okay, I promise,” Junmyeon says.

“Do you mean it?” Sehun asks.

Junmyeon doesn’t respond for eight seconds.

Sehun says, “Never mind.”

And Junmyeon works Sehun open with not only his fingers but also his words, because he’s leaning down, pressing his lips against Sehun’s neck and muttering things, beautiful things that hold some sort of promise, words that feel empty as they come out but feel full when they go in, seeping through Sehun’s bone to his core, his heart thumping the same way rain taps against Junmyeon’s window: unabashedly and loudly.

Junmyeon says, “I love you so much, baby, you’re all mine.”

Sehun responds, “I’m all yours.”

Soon, Junmyeon undresses properly and spreads Sehun’s legs and sinks into him, all while promising Sehun that he can provide, even though he can’t. However, Sehun keeps believing blindly, allowing Junmyeon to plunder his body and bestow unto him a pleasure that courses through him, serpentine as it travels his skin and nerves. It’s hot as Junmyeon takes him, and he’s sweating, thinking that he may as well be damned.

Yet, there is no sin more delicious than the one of Junmyeon’s touch, no lust more severe than the bruises Junmyeon’s fingertips cast onto Sehun’s pallid skin, discoloring a palette of innocence, soiling the feigned virginity that Sehun’s body promises. Sehun winces with every dig into his hips, every imprint left behind, every miniscule fire being stoked against him.

As if to retaliate, Sehun’s fingers drag against Junmyeon’s skin, leaving trails of red along his back where his nails attempt to break through Junmyeon’s exterior, as if to see what lies inside and beneath, trying to find some semblance of truth. However, the only fruit that Sehun seems to have been promised is one that he should have been forbade instead; yet, he takes and he takes what he has found, greed consuming him as easily as lust had.

Naïveté has never been Sehun’s best friend, anyway. It has never led him anywhere good and it doesn’t seem like it ever will.

Junmyeon kisses Sehun and Sehun feels smothered and loved. Junmyeon says, “Baby, you’re all mine and I can give you anything you want and you know it and I know I haven’t always been there and I know it’s hard for you to know that I love you and even harder for me to tell you that, but I mean it, I love you a lot and I need you and I would be nothing without you, just like you’d be nothing without me, right?”

“Right,” Sehun says.

“And I know you don’t believe me but I really, really, really would be nothing without you. The others have meant nothing to me at all.”

“Yes.”

***

Junmyeon is lying to himself when he thinks he doesn’t mean it because he really, really means it. He means it now and he’s always meant it, but he can’t tell Sehun that, because as much as he’d like to give Sehun what he wants, he can’t bring himself to.

“I want to give you everything you want,” Junmyeon says.

“Why don’t you, then?” Sehun asks.

Junmyeon grunts and Sehun moans, head tipping back. They’re still fucking.

“Why don’t you?” Sehun asks again.

“I don’t know,” Junmyeon responds.

“Wait,” Sehun says. He reaches up and pushes Junmyeon away. He gets on his hands and knees and then says, “Fuck me like this.”

Junmyeon fucks him like that.

“Fuck me hard,” Sehun says. “Fuck me like you mean it, fuck me like you love me, like you say you love me.”

Junmyeon fucks Sehun hard and fucks Sehun like he means it but he doesn’t fuck Sehun like he loves him because he can’t give Sehun what he wants, like there’s something holding him back from being able to deliver what Sehun deserves. And whatever this force is annoys him, so he fucks Sehun even harder for that reason, because he’s so annoyed with himself and the invisible force which holds him back from loving Sehun with all of his heart and body.

Junmyeon fucks Sehun so hard that Sehun cries as he screams for more and mercy. As they cum, Junmyeon is still telling Sehun he loves him and Sehun is still asking Junmyeon why.

***

It’s pouring when they’re done and swaddled in Junmyeon’s sheets. Sehun, even though he is much larger than Junmyeon physically, is curled up against Junmyeon’s chest and holding him tight. Junmyeon has an arm thrown over Sehun’s shoulders loosely. They’re pretty silent. The lights are on and Junmyeon is staring at the ceiling. Sehun stares straight ahead, over to a point of space on an empty wall. He can feel Junmyeon’s ring pressing against his skin.

“I’m going to have to leave, right?” Sehun asks. When he’d looked over at Junmyeon’s end table clock, he’d seen that it’d been 4-something A.M. He never gets to stay to watch the sun rise.

“Do you want to leave?” Junmyeon asks.

“No,” Sehun says. “But you’re going to make me do it anyway.”

They’re silent for a few minutes. Then, Junmyeon says, “Jongin wants me to go have breakfast with him and his mother today.”

“Okay,” Sehun says. He pulls away from Junmyeon and scoots to the edge of the bed. For a second, he imagines that it’s the side Jongin sleeps on when he does, because Junmyeon must let him, because Junmyeon loves Jongin, but could never love him. Sehun gets off the bed and starts putting his clothes on.

Junmyeon sits up on his bed and watches Sehun put clothes on. Sehun is being rather time-efficient, pulling on clothing as quickly as he can. Junmyeon wants to reach out and hold him back, but instead, he just says, “Wait.”

Sehun looks at him, gaze empty. Sehun says, “What? What is it now?”

“Never mind,” Junmyeon says, shaking his head.

“Fine,” Sehun says. “I’ll go now. Stop texting me.”

“Wait,” Junmyeon says again. Sehun’s already halfway to the door.

“What?” Sehun says, turning around.

“I want to give you everything,” Junmyeon says, quietly, admitting it to himself and Sehun. “I do.”

Sehun bites his lip, chewing on it like it’s a thought. He looks around the room and folds his arms over his chest. He asks, “Then, why don’t you do that?”

“I can’t,” Junmyeon says. “I don’t know why, but I can’t.”

Sehun walks towards the edge of Junmyeon’s bed and squints at Junmyeon like he’s a detective, trying to deduce something from the way Junmyeon looks at him. Then, he starts, and he can’t stop.

“I gave you everything I had,” Sehun says. “Everything. My body, my time, my virginity, my feeling, and my love. And you told me you would give me anything I wanted and that you would love me, but look where I am now.”

Junmyeon looks.

“Look at me,” Sehun says. He puts his hands in the air, gesturing to himself like he’s trying to make a point. “I’m pathetic. I’m nothing without you. My life means nothing until you call me and I have a reason to show up and see you.”

Junmyeon nods, slowly, as if he understands.

“But you don’t care,” Sehun says. “You don’t care at all. You’re busy giving your love and your time and everything I’d ever wanted from you to someone else. You’re meeting his parents and you’re buying him rings and you’re giving these things that I wanted you to give me when I thought you were still mine. All these things that I had asked for, but you never gave them to me, even when sometimes all I was asking for was time.”

Sehun rounds the bed, getting closer to Junmyeon.

“You promised. Anything I wanted, I would get,” Sehun says. “And I really wasn’t expecting that, but I was expecting you to at least give me anything. You could’ve stayed a whole night after fucking me. You could’ve gone out with me to eat at least once You even could’ve told me how you were really feeling. But, I guess all I was-- all I am is just a fuck. A good fuck that you need to have sometimes. Is that right?”

“No,” Junmyeon answers immediately. “No, that’s not right. It’s not right at all.”

“Then, what is it?” Sehun asks.

He’d been trying so hard to be strong, but now he’s trembling, demeanor beginning to break.

“What is it? What is it?” Sehun asks again, after Junmyeon is silent for what seems like too long. Sehun drops to his knees at the side of Junmyeon’s bed. He starts to cry.

“I don’t know,” Junmyeon responds, truthfully. He can’t watch Sehun cry, so he doesn’t. He stares at his sheets instead.

“Why does it have to be like this?” Sehun asks through his tears. “Why can’t we just be happy and love each other at the same time?”

“I don’t know,” Junmyeon responds. He hears a light thud and then he looks over to see that Sehun has pushed his face into his mattress.

“I could just smother myself right now,” Sehun says.

“Don’t,” Junmyeon says.

“I won’t, but I could,” Sehun says.

“Okay, don’t,” Junmyeon says.

“I won’t,” Sehun says. Then, after a while, Sehun asks again, “Why does it have to be like this?”

“I don’t know,” Junmyeon repeats.

Then it’s quiet again and the only sounds in the room are the sounds of Sehun’s sniffles and sobs. After a long while, Sehun says, “I want to go home. I’m going to go home.”

“Okay,” Junmyeon says.

“Don’t text or call me until you think you really, really mean it.”

“Okay.”

Sehun stands up, wipes his face, and leaves Junmyeon’s room and apartment without looking at Junmyeon. Junmyeon sits in silence in the middle of his bed and looks to the edge of the bed, where Sehun’s face has been. There’s a wet imprint left behind from Sehun’s tears, snot, and saliva.

Junmyeon does nothing for a short while. Then, he reaches over and feels the need to pick up his phone, because, this time, he thinks he really means it.

a/n 2: spot the biblical symbolism everywhere

angel cum

playedrough — Thu, 17 Sep 2015 22:26:06 GMT

angel cum
7706 words / suho x sehun / nc-17 / smut
One evening, Sehun puts ribbons in his hair haphazardly, clipping bows of pink and glitter into his dusty, bleached strands.
warnings: daddy kink, vague sacrilege, mention of emetophilia (vomiting), changed ages (small age gap)
a/n: this is part of a larger fic where sehun is 21 and suho is 27 and a doctor, maybe i'll write it one day but for now take this 7k of sex. also title from this

♡♡♡

One evening, Sehun puts ribbons in his hair haphazardly, clipping bows of pink and glitter into his dusty, bleached strands. He does this while sitting on the bed, hair accessories meant for little girls strewn across the sheets. A hand mirror is settled in his fist, his grip loose as he eyes himself. On his mouth is lipstick, a deep red shade accenting the dip of his cupid’s bow. There’s glitter not meant for the body scattered across his forehead and cheekbones, a sparkly trail dipping down, leading the way to a naked chest that shimmers like an arts and crafts project gone wrong.

Junmyeon isn’t home yet. When Junmyeon comes home, Sehun supposes he’ll have to explain what he’s doing. But Sehun doesn’t really know what he’s doing himself, so there might be nothing to explain.

Just as Sehun is thinking about Junmyeon, he hears the front door click open. Sehun stares at the bedroom door, knowing that it’s where Junmyeon will arrive next. He doesn’t think too much about it; he just stares at the door until it opens, too, and Junmyeon is standing in the doorframe, dress shirt and pants neatly tucked and briefcase tucked similarly into his fist. Sehun reaches over, puts the mirror face down on the bedside table, and tilts his head to the side, smiling at his boyfriend, who, rightfully so, looks confused.

“You’re not wearing anything but thigh highs,” Junmyeon says. The room, as if it didn’t know, seems to settle, breaking a silence that was about to form. Sehun nods, still smiling. Junmyeon says, “Nothing but stockings and glitter.”

“Yes,” Sehun says. “Do I look stupid?”

Junmyeon stares at Sehun for a few more moments before he steps into the room fully, setting his briefcase on the ground and easing closer to the bed, closer to Sehun. Sehun folds his legs to the side, nestled into the sheets like a mermaid, hands in his lap and eyes wide, eyelashes batting slowly as Junmyeon scrutinizes him. Moments later, Junmyeon reaches for Sehun’s chin and tilts his head up. Sehun looks up. Junmyeon tells him to smile. Sehun smiles, baring his teeth.

Junmyeon puts the pad of his thumb against Sehun’s two front teeth. He rubs and says, “You have lipstick on your teeth.”

When Junmyeon is done, he pulls the tip of his thumb down the center of Sehun’s lower lip. Sehun’s lower lip drags down and bounces back to form a pout. The expression stays on Sehun’s face for a few moments before he eases up on his knees to be closer to Junmyeon’s height. He’s still shorter than Junmyeon, but the mattress isn’t all that high off the ground.

“But I look pretty, right?” Sehun asks, voice quiet. He slings his arms over Junmyeon’s shoulders, looking him right in the eye. “The prettiest you’ve ever seen?”

“Yes,” Junmyeon says without thinking. Though, if he had thought, he thinks seconds later, he would’ve answered the same way. “The prettiest.”

“Cool,” Sehun says, dropping his arms and dropping his body back onto the bed. He lands on a baby blue scrunchie with flowers on it. He reaches backwards and pushes it away.

“What are you doing?” Junmyeon asks, finally.

“I don’t know,” Sehun says, truthfully. “I just… got all of this stuff today. Because I wanted it. It was pretty.”

“You have too much time,” Junmyeon says. There’s a pause before he adds on, “And too much money.”

“Yeah,” Sehun says. “I agree. But I’m pretty, right?”

Sehun reaches down, pulls at his stockings, and licks his mouth. On his tongue is the taste of wax and, if he could taste it, red. He flings his arms backwards, stretching out like a cat on the sheets, space between his legs-- enough space for just one human being to fit between. He drops his hand back down, puts a hand on his body, and pulls it down, glitter catching onto his fingers.

Junmyeon stares because there’s nothing else he can do. Sehun also stares because he doesn’t know what he’s doing. Sehun keeps touching his own body, fingertips careful as if he’s aware of his own delicateness. Junmyeon says, “Yeah. This is actually making me feel like I want to give you more money.”

Sehun doesn’t laugh. Sehun doesn’t even smile. He just keeps touching because he knows he’s getting a good reaction. His hands run down to his thighs and his palms work against his skin as if they’re finding all the right places, as if they’re exploring for the first time, trying to worm their way to pleasure. Sehun says, “Give it to me, then.”

“I’ll give you everything,” Junmyeon says, loosening his tie. Sehun doesn’t know what’s going on, doesn’t know what buttons he’s pressed, but he runs with it, keeps talking like he knows what he’s doing.

“Because I deserve it,” Sehun says. He wraps a hand around the base of his cock and his shoulders ease off the bed in a wriggle. His voice is low as he demands, halfheartedly, “Tell me I deserve it.”

“You deserve it,” Junmyeon says. By now, he’s just watching Sehun, seemingly entranced by the way the younger boy moves and writhes on the bed. The sheets, silk, slide against Sehun’s skin, and it’s visible in the way they crease around his body, creating an outline of a misdressed, vaguely debauched boy. “You deserve everything, Sehun.”

“I know,” Sehun says. He gives Junmyeon a small smile, playful. Then, he asks, “Why?”

Junmyeon is silent. Sehun strokes himself slowly and then moans, quietly. Junmyeon looks at the way the sunlight filters in through the window and hits Sehun in all the right places. His skin shines like a sign, flashing, ‘take me! take me!’. Junmyeon, in his 27 years of life, has never felt so tantalized by exposed skin. Junmyeon, in his 27 years of life, has never felt less entitled to touch the angel on his bedspread, has never felt so unable to taste what he craves.

“Why?” Sehun repeats, looking Junmyeon right in the eye. Sehun’s legs spread more and Junmyeon watches the shift of the little fat in his thighs. “Why do I deserve everything? Tell me.”

Junmyeon pulls his tie off and sighs. He puts the tie on top of the dresser and starts unbuttoning his dress shirt. He crawls onto the bed, kneeing his way in between Sehun’s legs. He kneels before the little body of divinity on his bed, sitting on the backs of his own calves. If he were to bow his head forward, he’d be doing something similar to praying, putting his hands together around a half-hard cock. Instead, he just unbuttons his shirt and stares at Sehun, whose red lips are agape, whose cheeks are flushed red.

“You deserve everything because,” Junmyeon begins, shucking off his dress shirt to reveal a plain, white tank top, etched with ribbing. “You’ve earned everything. So pretty and servicing, you give the world everything it could ever want, so the world owes it to you.”

“You’re my world,” Sehun admits, falling out of his act for just a moment. But, then, he continues, sitting up slightly so his head, neck, and shoulders can slide up onto the headboard. He watches Junmyeon for a moment, squints as if in deliberation, and then says, “Give me whatever I want. Give me everything you owe me.”

“Okay,” Junmyeon says. “Whatever you want. What do you want? What do I owe you?”

“I want,” Sehun says. He draws out the last sound as he does what Junmyeon believes is think. Sehun then hisses for a second. Junmyeon looks down and sees Sehun’s thumb, swiping over the slit of his own cock. “You to call me princess.”

“Princess,” Junmyeon repeats.

“Call me your angel,” Sehun says.

“My angel,” Junmyeon repeats.

“Call me your baby,” Sehun says.

“My baby,” Junmyeon repeats.

“Tell me you love me and tell me you mean it,” Sehun says.

“I love you and I mean it,” Junmyeon says. Sehun is silent for two seconds and Junmyeon continues. “I love you so much, baby, you’re so cute and perfect and I’m blessed to have you.”

Sehun is quiet again, very obviously moved, but the show must go on, so he says, “Okay. Tell me that you’d do anything for me.”

“I’d do anything for you, angel,” Junmyeon says.

“Tell me I deserve the world,” Sehun says. “Call me princess.”

“You deserve the world, princess,” Junmyeon says.

“Touch me,” Sehun says. “Put your hand on my dick.”

Sehun pulls his own hand back to make room for Junmyeon’s. Junmyeon does as he’s told and wraps his fingers around Sehun’s length. He strokes slow.

“Thank you,” Sehun says. Sehun slings his arms over Junmyeon’s neck. “You’re so good to me.”

Junmyeon repeats, earnestly, “Anything for you, angel.”

“Oh,” Sehun says, his breath becoming a little heavier. “When we’re done, you’ll give me all the money in your wallet and I’ll put it in my pocket.”

“Okay,” Junmyeon says, still stroking Sehun.

“Do you like my hair?” Sehun asks suddenly.

“Yes, baby,” Junmyeon says. “I like the clips.”

“Which one is your favorite?” Sehun asks. “I like the ones with the heart in the middle and the glitter on the edges.”

“I like that one, too,” Junmyeon agrees.

“Cool,” Sehun says, giving Junmyeon a sincere smile. Then, Sehun asks, “Are you getting hard for me yet?”

“Yes,” Junmyeon admits, honestly.

“How many times did you think about me today? You can lie, if you want.”

“I was thinking about you all day,” Junmyeon admits, to a certain extent, dishonestly.

“Good answer,” Sehun says, laughing quietly. “Thought about fucking me?”

“Yes,” Junmyeon admits, honestly.

“Honest to God?” Sehun asks.

“Honest to God,” Junmyeon says.

“You’re my god,” Sehun says.

“You’re mine,” Junmyeon responds.

“No,” Sehun says.

“Right,” Junmyeon says. “My angel.”

“Your angel,” Sehun says. “My haloes are in my hair.”

“Yes,” Junmyeon says. “So holy.”

Then, they are quiet for a while and Junmyeon strokes Sehun at a steady, slow pace. They maintain eye contact during this time. They listen to the sounds of the outside world, a car zooming past, a squirrel at the window, and a tree tapping against the side of the house, like it wants in on the action. After a while, Sehun reaches over and hooks his fingers into the waistband of Junmyeon’s dress pants.

“I want you to take these off,” Sehun says. “Stop touching me and take them off.”

“Okay, baby,” Junmyeon says, getting off the bed to rid himself of his pants.

“Daddy,” Sehun mumbles.

It’s not the first time he’s heard Sehun say it, and it does to Junmyeon what it had done before. It makes him feel an inappropriate type of warmth, one that emanates from the center of his body to everywhere else, fingertips and toes warming as well.

“Daddy,” Sehun says again when Junmyeon has thrown his dress pants to the ground. "Daddy, give me a treat, give me what I deserve."

There's a certain haste in Sehun's tone, a breathlessness following his words. Sehun is excited, in more ways than one. Usually, Junmyeon is the one that has all the power, the one who tells Sehun what to do. But today, something's flipped and Sehun is a little lost, lost in his own little world of being able to say ‘jump’ and get a response of ‘how high?’. A tingling sensation washes through him as he realizes this, a spark of understanding sending all his blood south.

Junmyeon just stares. He watches Sehun's chest heave. He asks, as he points at the waistband of his boxers, "Off, too?"

"I'll do it," Sehun says, scrambling onto his hands and knees to crawl over to the foot of the bed, balancing on one hand when his face is right in front of Junmyeon's crotch. He uses his other hand to pull down Junmyeon's underwear. His actions are slow. He looks up at Junmyeon and gives him a little red smile. Junmyeon's cock, erect, is now right in front of Sehun's face, and for a second, Sehun thinks about how nice it would be to just rub his face all over it, but then he remembers he has a role to play.

The sun has set a little bit since Junmyeon had paid attention to it, but it still lights the room, orange spilling onto the walls and carpet. There's a solid ten seconds of eye contact as Sehun pushes the undergarment all the way down. Junmyeon's boxers pool at his ankles. Sehun is smiling up at Junmyeon and Junmyeon just blinks, waiting for the next instruction or demand.

“Daddy,” Sehun says again. “You like when I call you that, right?”

“Yes,” Junmyeon says. “Yes, princess.”

“My King,” Sehun says, lips twitching up at a corner, a stretched smirk playing on his features. He leans forward, hand wrapping around the base of Junmyeon’s length, and puts his lips on the shaft of it. He mouths his way to the tip.

“Mm,” Junmyeon says. “An angel. My angel.”

Then, Sehun licks at the head, tongue smoothing against hot skin. He says, with cock against his lips, “My Creator.”

There’s something filthy about everything today, something filthy about the way monarchical lineage works, something filthy about the way the Bible had been written. There’s even something vaguely filthy about the way family trees branch out. Junmyeon pays attention to this for only a fleeting moment, as Sehun pulls him out of his musings by wrapping his mouth around the head of his cock, giving it a gentle suck, pacifying the both of them.

Junmyeon watches as Sehun’s head dips down further, suckling his way down the shaft to the base with a quiet gag. Sehun looks up then, breathing in through his nose as he lifts back up. There’s a smearing of red and ring of it around Junmyeon’s girth. Sehun’s mouth now looks stained red, as if he’s had one cherry popsicle too many.

“Daddy,” Sehun says, defaulting back to the first pet name. “Fuck my mouth and tell me how good I’m being. Tell me that I’m the best and that I’m doing good.”

“Yes, baby,” Junmyeon says. He brings a hand to the back of Sehun’s head and pushes down. His other hand wraps around the hilt of his length to guide. Sehun smiles before he opens his mouth as an invitation, planting both of his hands onto the edge of the mattress. Junmyeon pushes in, past lips wrapped under teeth, past palate before settling, with cheek insides cushioning the blow. Sehun gags again as Junmyeon fits himself all the way in. Both of them stay still, Sehun staring up at Junmyeon with a slightly strained expression, eyelashes fluttering as he does his best to keep his eyes open. Junmyeon’s hand presses against the back of Sehun’s head, keeping it down.

Junmyeon says, after a few seconds, voice soft, “You’re doing good, baby. You’re doing so, so, so good.”

The sound of Sehun breathing through his nose somehow fills the room, the silence surrounding them seeming to have stifled their sounds. Then, Junmyeon says, “Just a little more, baby. You can do it, baby.”

Sehun whimpers audibly and gives what could be perceived as a nod. He feels like he’s suffocating. A few moments later, Junmyeon relieves the pressure of his hand and Sehun comes sliding off his cock with a deep breath. Sehun licks his lips. His mouth is now slick, spit acting as gloss against the rouge of his lips.

“Again,” Sehun says, voice somehow having become a bit hoarse. “More. Fuck it more, Daddy. Make me choke and cry. Don’t stop unless I hit you or you think you’re gonna cum.”

“You won’t have to hit me,” Junmyeon says. He’s sure of this because he knows where Sehun draws the line. He knows what’s too much and he knows what’s just the right amount of much. “I’ll take good care of you, baby.”

“Because I deserve it,” Sehun says. “Don’t forget.”

“Because you deserve it,” Junmyeon says. “You deserve everything.”

“Good,” Sehun says, smiling cherubically. “And I come first, right? I get to cum first, too.”

“Yes, baby,” Junmyeon says, smiling a little. “You come first and you cum first.”

“Sweet,” Sehun says. “Now fuck me in the mouth until I cry.”

“Yes, baby,” Junmyeon says.

Junmyeon puts his hand into Sehun’s hair. A hairclip falls out but neither of them care. Sehun follows the push of Junmyeon’s hand. Junmyeon pushes his cock into Sehun’s mouth and Sehun takes it to the hilt again. Then, Junmyeon thrusts, building a slow, steady pace. Sehun takes it. It pacifies him again. He sucks and sucks and Junmyeon thrusts and thrusts.

“Baby,” Junmyeon says.

A thrust.

“You take it so well.”

A thrust.

“You feel so good.”

A thrust. A gag.

“You’re the best, the fucking best.”

A thrust and another. A gag, a squeak, a whine.

“The fucking best.”

A thrust and another. A gag, a squeak, a whine.

“Your mouth is heavenly and you deserve everything.”

Sehun closes his eyes and breathes deeply, relaxing as the girth of Junmyeon’s cock invades his throat. He looks up, dazedly, seeming bored every so often.

“You make me feel so good.”

Three thrusts. A hum. A groan.

Sehun looks up, appearing bored.

Thrusts. No words. A crescendo of speed.

Junmyeon thrusts and Sehun takes it. It goes fast and Sehun’s tearing up soon, and he wants to hit Junmyeon, but he doesn’t, because he knows he can do it a little longer; he knows he can take it until Junmyeon can’t. He looks up at Junmyeon, brows furrowed a bit, spit pooling in the corners of his own lips. Few tears spill and roll down his cheeks. His bangs plaster themselves to his forehead and he sweats, the glitter on his skin now shimmering with a new brightness due to the slickness of his body.

“You’re taking it so good, baby,” Junmyeon says. He pets the back of Sehun’s head and Sehun hums his acknowledgement. “Just breathe, baby, you can do it, yeah.”

Sehun breathes, deep, five counts in and six counts out. He’s lightheaded from a lack of air, but he knows Junmyeon should be done soon. And if not, he’ll hit, and he’ll hit hard. Above him, Junmyeon groans and Sehun looks up, lashes wet with tears. He catches Junmyeon with his head tilted back, lips parted just a bit, eyes shut. Soon, Sehun thinks, he’ll get to breathe properly soon. He whines as he takes it, the sound of his voice trembling as it carries and fills the room.

Junmyeon’s head lolls forward a moment later and Sehun eyes beg. Junmyeon slides out of Sehun’s mouth and his cock straights itself against his lower stomach. Saliva coats Junmyeon’s length and Sehun’s mouth alike, slick clues to what they’ve been up to. Sehun coughs and sniffles. He says, “Daddy, I might vomit.”

“Are you going to vomit?” Junmyeon asks.

“Maybe,” Sehun says. He scoots back and sits up, getting off his hands and knees, posture poor as he sits. “What are you going to do if I vomit?”

“Clean it up,” Junmyeon responds.

“Oh. Well, I’m not going to vomit,” Sehun says. “I’m just making sure you don’t cum. By talking about vomit.”

“What if I’m into that?” Junmyeon asks, half-seriously.

Sehun gives Junmyeon a glare, easily settling back into the act that he’d adopted before. He asks, a bite in his tone, “Did I say you could ask questions?”

“No, baby,” Junmyeon says.

“Do I deserve to be asked questions?” Sehun asks.

“No, baby,” Junmyeon repeats. Sehun smiles, unable to keep the act up for too long.

“You’re so good to me,” Sehun says again. “Kiss me.”

Junmyeon crawls onto the bed and meets Sehun in the middle of it. Then, he leans forward and puts his mouth on Sehun’s wet, wet one. Sehun kisses him eagerly, the fervor of the kiss juxtaposing the careful act he’d been putting on. Junmyeon kisses back the same way, tasting a synthetic vanilla that probably comes from the waxiness of Sehun’s lipstick. When they pull away, Junmyeon sees red smeared around Sehun’s mouth, staining the area outside his lipline. Sehun looks as if depravity had wracked through him at some point, dirtying the innocence that had once been harbored, hairclips now askew on his head, ashy strands of hair messy, his head and face reminiscent of a city after a natural disaster. Junmyeon can’t help but stare.

Their faces are close. If either one of them were to move in just the slightest, their mouths would be touching again. But, neither of them move. Sehun doesn’t move and he doesn’t tell Junmyeon to move. Instead, Sehun says, “Tell me I’m pretty.”

“You’re pretty,” Junmyeon says.

“Tell me I’m the most beautiful person you’ve ever laid eyes on,” Sehun says.

“You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever laid eyes on,” Junmyeon says.

Frankly, Sehun is getting kind of bored. He doesn’t think he likes the responsibility of having this power so much, but he decides to run with it, milking this moment for all it’s worth. He says, “Get the lube and stretch me.”

“Okay,” Junmyeon says.

Sehun scoots back on the bed and Junmyeon gets off of it, Sehun rests his back against the headboard, bringing some of the sheets up with him, just because he likes to feel the silk on his skin. Junmyeon pulls out a bottle of lubricant from the drawer in their nightstand, almost immediately getting back on the bed. Now, Sehun’s spreading his legs, stockinged limbs resting against either edge of the mattress. He puts his hands beside him, plants his fingers into the blankets. He bares himself to Junmyeon, exposing parts of his body that he’d once promised to expose to no one else.

“Come here, Daddy,” Sehun says. “Give me what I want.”

“I will,” Junmyeon says. He crawls in between Sehun’s legs and rests there, on his knees, sitting on the backs of his calves as Sehun had done earlier. “I’ll give you everything you want.”

“Nice,” Sehun says. Then, Junmyeon uncaps the bottle and slicks his fingers up with the lubricant. It’s vaguely sticky, the goo of the substance keeping Junmyeon’s fingers together weakly. Sehun stares at Junmyeon’s fingers and says, “Start with one.”

Junmyeon nods and then slips his middle finger into Sehun. As his finger slides past Sehun’s ring of muscles, Junmyeon can feel the younger boy tense around his digit, clamping down tight for a moment before relaxing again. Junmyeon builds a slow pace for his finger once Sehun has relaxed, setting the rhythm of pleasure once more. They could dance to their lovemaking, Junmyeon had supposed at sometime in the past, though the idea was more humorous than not. Junmyeon stops thinking about this, because it’s making him want to cum less and less.

Then, he looks over at Sehun’s face, where all the little, gaspy noises begin to spill, and Junmyeon wants to do the same, wants to spill all over, leave his essence in the room. But, for now, all he can do is watch Sehun, the younger’s chest heaving slowly as he takes measured breaths, calms himself to arousal.

Junmyeon stares, enamored by the way Sehun’s appearance borders on angelic, the sunlight now casting its orange rays through the window and onto Sehun’s body in a way that simply makes his body glow, an aura of light surrounding his limbs, much like a halo. Like this, Junmyeon has trouble believing that Sehun is anything but a child, even though he’s very much not a child with his 21 years in tow. There’s just something so small and delicate about the angel on his bedspread-- something so dainty and delightful about the moans that escape him, his voice, equally as small as he seems, struggling to bounce off the walls in the room.

In the middle of Junmyeon’s trance, Sehun begs, “Another finger.”

Junmyeon obliges and immediately slips back under the spell of Sehun’s appearance.

Sehun is debauched, thoroughly so at this point. Junmyeon feels the slightest bit ashamed for it, for ruining such a cute boy with the cutest hairbows and even cuter stockings. There’s something highly inappropriate about this somewhere, Junmyeon thinks, and he searches and searches his mind for something, anything, but he can’t. All he can think about now is Sehun, and how, even though Sehun demanded everything he’s been given today, Junmyeon will always be at fault for pilfering the holiness of his body. Junmyeon will always be at fault for the vulnerability Sehun shows as he unravels and bares himself to be taken.

Then, the accompanying sound of Sehun’s moans stops long enough for him to ask of Junmyeon, “Another one.”

Junmyeon obliges and gets knuckle deep with a third finger before Sehun’s hips cant upwards, towards the ceiling, the heavens. Sehun lets out this sound that seems to have started as a gasp but had somehow dissolved into a moan on the way out his throat. Junmyeon listens, intent, his train of thought having been stopped at the station of Sehun and only Sehun, his brain processing this moment viscerally, parsing every little detail, beginning with the feeling of Sehun’s body so close to his, Sehun’s body trying to swallow his fingers up with an urgency.

Next, it’s the taste of the words Junmyeon has yet to say, catching behind his tonsils, hiding until Sehun gives him an opportunity to speak. Then, it’s the sound of Sehun’s breaths and moans and groans and pants and everything else within the immediate scope of Sehun. Secondarily, it’s the sound of the bed creaking as Sehun repeatedly lifts his hips up, trying to fuck himself on Junmyeon’s fingers. After, it’s the smell of sex already beginning to float about in the air, the spell of a vague hint of pheromones they’ve both fallen under.

And, finally, most importantly, it’s the sight of Sehun, face reddened by a red flush and lipstick, glitter setting his skin aglow, hair ribbons accenting the innocence that’s threatened to be rivaled by the way his body, lithe and smooth, arches up off the bed, a clean area between back and mattress denoting the pleasure that Junmyeon imagines and hopes Sehun is experiencing.

Junmyeon fans his fingers apart and Sehun writhes. Sehun eases up onto his elbows and looks over at Junmyeon. Junmyeon stares at Sehun and there’s a moment of sheer electricity between them, a beat of silent acknowledgement before Sehun says, “Daddy, fuck me.”

Junmyeon obliges and immediately pulls his fingers out of Sehun with a faint, slick sound. Sehun masks any other noise with another sharp gasp, head falling back to reveal more of his neck, putting his Adam’s apple on display, a sight so sinful that Junmyeon almost starts feeling bad again-- but, of course, he doesn’t, and instead slathers a generous amount of lubricant on his own cock.

“Wait,” Sehun says before Junmyeon’s able to do much else. “Hold on.”

Promptly, Sehun rolls over onto his stomach and pushes up onto his knees, and he looks spoiled as he settles into silk sheets, his back sloping upwards as he rests his arms on either side of his head, his expression an eagerness masked by feigned boredom as he turns his head to the best of his ability to look up at Junmyeon, who has properly gotten onto his own knees, kneeling behind Sehun, between his spread thighs, pressing the head of his dick against Sehun’s entrance.

Sehun didn’t ask for this tease, but he’s thankful anyway, allowing himself to moan before he says, seriously, “Stop fucking teasing.”

“Mm,” Junmyeon responds, complacent.

“Just fuck me,” Sehun says. “And tell me how much you like fucking me and how much you like me and how much I really deserve everything I want. Talk dirty and make me feel loved.”

Sehun, having been stretched carefully, is on edge, and it’s tough for him to maintain his composure when his impending release is creeping up on him, slowly surfacing with every tremble of his body. Junmyeon pushes in and Sehun’s eyes almost roll into the back of his head. Sehun says, “Start slow.”

Junmyeon starts, and he’s slow, every movement of his hips carefully timed, carefully angled in their search for all the right spots. He’s trying to give Sehun what he wants, so he puts his hands on thin hips and stills his own body, pulling Sehun’s body down onto his cock, letting Sehun, if he wants to, control the movements, letting Sehun, if he wants to, set the pace of their bodies.

Junmyeon says, “There you go, baby, fuck yourself down on me just like that, there you go.”

Sehun gets the hint and does his best to ease back onto Junmyeon’s cock. The slide is smooth, as smooth as Sehun’s voice as he moans, as smooth as the acceleration in their speed, and soon enough, Sehun’s hands are curling into smooth fabric as he, in a way that’s almost helpless, moves his lower body in a way that has Junmyeon’s head spinning.

When Junmyeon looks down properly, he can see that Sehun’s cheek is pressed against the pillow, red smearing onto the pillowcase where Sehun’s mouth is, creating an abstract image of pleasure that manifests on their bedspread, glitter and sweat and lipstick becoming the preferred mediums of their art.

Junmyeon spurs him on, says, “Yeah, baby, keep going. Daddy feels so good, you make Daddy feel so good.”

Sehun says, “Daddy, fuck me.”

Junmyeon says, “Okay, baby.”

Sehun stills and Junmyeon starts to move, thrusting slowly again.

“Faster,” Sehun demands, voice trembling and face sticking to the pillowcase.

Junmyeon goes faster.

“More, harder,” Sehun demands, a whine following his words as Junmyeon promptly adheres to his requests.

“Is that good, baby?” Junmyeon asks between the sound of skin slapping together.

“Good, good,” Sehun mumbles. “So, so, good.”

“Just like you,” Junmyeon says, Then, he reaches down and puts his fingers into Sehun’s hair and grabs, pulling his head up that way. He yanks, but not hard enough to hurt, just enough to let Sehun knows he wants to see him. Sehun lifts his head and tilts it back, tilts it to the side, glancing at Junmyeon through his peripherals. Junmyeon leans forward, noses his way up Sehun’s glittery neck, and presses a kiss right behind Sehun’s ear. That’s all it takes for Sehun to relinquish control with a sigh and a flutter of his eyelashes, for power to be restored into the hands of Junmyeon. Junmyeon, aware, asks, lips pressed against the shell of Sehun’s ear, voice low and rough, “How about you get on your back so Daddy can watch you while he fucks you?”

“Yes, Daddy,” Sehun says. Junmyeon drops Sehun down onto the bed and moves his hips back just enough for Sehun to wriggle forward and empty himself of Junmyeon’s cock. Immediately, he gets onto his back and spreads his legs, leaving enough space between his thighs for Junmyeon’s body. And, Junmyeon, Junmyeon’s on his knees, hands planted on either side of Sehun’s head on the pillow, hovering over the younger with a small smile. Sehun does his best to smile back.

“So pretty,” Junmyeon says, giving Sehun a once over, eyes lingering at the expanse of pale, smooth thigh above the opening of a sheer, thigh high stocking. Junmyeon brings a hand down and plays with the fabric. Sehun stares and twitches. “Even with all that lipstick on your face and your hair a mess.”

And Junmyeon isn’t even lying. It’s almost endearing seeing Sehun like this, so wrecked, so ruined from hairclip to stocking, trembling, fawnlike now that he’s lost his ability to control. He’s like a doll, a defective doll with eyes that say too much and flesh that feels too real-- his body is too pliant, too easily puppeted. Now, all Junmyeon has to do is say ‘jump’ and Sehun will oblige and then ask, ‘what else?’.

Yet, both of them know that, if Sehun really wants something, all he has to do is say the word and Junmyeon would deliver. But Sehun, Sehun’s silent now, waiting for pleasure to travel his body, traverse his skin. He’s waiting for a surprise, anticipating a pleasant surge of being slammed into the headboard or being told he’s a good, good, good (the absolute best) boy.

“You’re an angel, my little angel, sent from above,” Junmyeon says.

“You’re the one who made me so pretty,” Sehun says, instinctually, not giving himself enough time to think. He says, “You created me, you are literally my Creator.”

Then, they’re silent, staring at each other as words hang in the air, waiting to be picked and said. Sehun is the one to open his mouth first, but he closes it without saying anything else. It looks as if he’s gasping for something, anything, like a fish out of water. But, he’s swimming. He’s swimming in his thoughts and everything else. Finally, drowning in his own consciousness, he says “I’d be nothing without you.”

It’s intimate, Junmyeon supposes. The sun has set completely and it’s dark and Sehun feels like he wants to see more and Junmyeon feels the same. Junmyeon scoots back on the bed and then gets off of it. Sehun watches as Junmyeon walks over to the light switch by the door and lets there be light.

Warm rays from the lightbulb flood the room and Junmyeon returns to the boat that is the bed. He crawls and settles between Sehun’s thighs, on his knees as he tilts his head, taking a deep breath and looking at Sehun. He brings a hand up, puts it near Sehun’s mouth and tells him to spit. Sehun lifts his head spits into Junmyeon’s hand, eyes maintaining contact with Junmyeon’s. Junmyeon brings his wet hand onto Sehun’s face and rubs, rubs until the red on Sehun’s face is gone and staining his own fingertips instead. Junmyeon cups the side of Sehun’s face, thumb resting against the apple of Sehun’s cheek.

“I made you even prettier now,” Junmyeon says. Sehun smiles, dazed, and turns his head enough to nuzzle his lips against Junmyeon’s hand. Then, Sehun reaches down and wraps his hand around the base of Junmyeon’s cock, Junmyeon’s hips shifting forward at the touch, Sehun guiding Junmyeon into his heat, inviting and warm. Junmyeon is, again, slow to begin with, but Sehun just can’t take it anymore and reaches up, grabbing Junmyeon by the chest of his shirt, pressing a frantic, sloppy kiss against his lips.

“Fuck me harder,” Sehun mumbles against Junmyeon’s lips. Then, his voice is feeble as he says, “Please.”

Junmyeon, pleased, nods, pulling back and taking hold of Sehun’s hips instead. He pistons his hips forward and Sehun’s sounds are bouncing off the walls, reverberating, flooding the room and Junmyeon’s ears. Junmyeon says, “Baby, you sound so good right now.”

Sehun’s tone changes for just a moment, as if in response, before he closes his eyes, tilting his head back and letting pleasure overwhelm his body. From here, Junmyeon can see the roof of Sehun’s mouth and the backs of his front teeth. Junmyeon lets him stay like that for a while, muttering, “Yeah, baby, you want the neighbors to know how good I fuck you, right?”

Sehun’s tone changes again and his hips surge forward in a smooth, clean motion. Junmyeon pushes his hips down and Sehun’s body twitches. Junmyeon stills and Sehun looks over at him lips still parted and stained a bit red, hair sticking to his forehead, sweat and glitter mixing to create a perfect, dewy shimmer.

“Daddy,” Sehun whines. “Daddy, please.”

“Look at me, Sehun,” Junmyeon demands, even though Sehun is already looking at him. Sehun, nonetheless nods, so easily overtaken by just the timbre of Junmyeon’s voice. Junmyeon reaches over and grabs Sehun’s chin, tilting his head just enough for Sehun to be looking up at him straight on.

It’s difficult to believe that, at some point in the evening, Junmyeon was the one to adhere to Sehun’s every whim. Now, he’d do the same, but it’s different because Sehun begs rather than demands, whines rather than tells. It’s more natural this way, the both of them think, as Junmyeon thinks there’s nothing sexier than Sehun, so ready to give, and Sehun thinks there’s nothing sexier than Junmyeon, so ready to command.

So, that’s why it works, when Junmyeon says, “Tell me what you want.”

And Sehun whimpers.

“It’s okay,” Junmyeon says. “You can tell Daddy.”

Sehun whimpers again.

“Come on, baby,” Junmyeon coaxes.

“Can I cum?” Sehun finally asks.

“What do you say when you want something?” Junmyeon asks.

“Please,” Sehun says. “Please, please, please.”

“Of course, baby,” Junmyeon finally says, wrapping his fingers around the shaft of Sehun’s cock. Sehun hisses and his eyes threaten to fall shut, but he keeps Junmyeon’s command in mind and looks at him, eyebrows furrowed, mouth agape in a whine that the air has caught. It’s floating up there, in that little word bank that had held them together in a moment of tension. “You deserve to cum.”

“Do I?” Sehun asks, breathless.

“Yes,” Junmyeon says. He strokes Sehun slowly, still filling him entirely. "You deserve everything, remember?”

His hips roll forward and Sehun’s moans border on guttural. Junmyeon basks in the noise; Sehun wants to shut his mouth forever.

“I deserve everything,” Sehun repeats. When he says it, his voice isn’t filled with the confidence that had filled it before. Instead, his tone is soft, as if he’s accepting the fact rather than dishing it out, letting the room know what he’s learned today.

“Yes, baby,” Junmyeon says. His hips are slow and he focuses his attention on stroking Sehun’s erection, leading Sehun to his peak languidly. “Anything you want, it’s all yours.”

“All mine,” Sehun says. He sighs airily. “You, too.”

“Me, too?” Junmyeon asks with a chuckle. Sehun nods, a shy smile flickering between his expressions of pleasure. Sehun’s face, eventually, settles on a steady expression: parted lips, closed eyes, a red flush. “What do you mean?”

“Nn,” Sehun voices. He’s less than coherent as Junmyeon keeps stroking. Junmyeon, as he notices Sehun’s struggle, strokes a bit faster, and Sehun’s breath hitches, head tilting back. Junmyeon’s gaze trails down the column of Sehun’s neck, where the skin is inviting and sparkly, and his eyes continue down, down, down, tracing his body with a certain scrutiny. It’s beautiful, Junmyeon thinks.

So, Junmyeon says, “So beautiful. So, so, so beautiful.”

“Nn,” Sehun repeats. “Lemme cum. Please, please, let me cum.”

“Yes, baby,” Junmyeon says. “Soon.”

“Now,” Sehun says. It’s accompanied by a writhe of his body. He eases up onto the flats of his forearms and looks up at Junmyeon. He reaches one hand up and grabs the front of Junmyeon’s shirt again. Junmyeon knows what he wants, so he meets him in the middle when Sehun almost sits all the way up to kiss him, feverish in his attempt to coax Junmyeon into letting him just release. It works, to an extent, because Junmyeon was, of course, going to let him cum anyway. It’s just that, now, there is more of an impetus to let him cum. Soft lips and warm kisses are the way to Junmyeon’s heart and hands, so he strokes, fast, as Sehun kisses and whines and Junmyeon tries to keep up.

Sehun’s breaths become quicker and Junmyeon, at this proximity, may as well be able to hear Sehun’s heartbeat, the quickening of Sehun’s chest sending him into a type of overdrive. Sehun has to pull away, has to, has to, has to, and Junmyeon touches, touches, touches, thumb swiping over the head of his cock, collecting pre-cum on his fingertips. Sehun’s gaze flickers up at Junmyeon for just a second, just as Junmyeon’s hips come forward once more, a hard, staccato movement slapping against Sehun’s body. Then, Sehun’s head is moving forward, away from Junmyeon’s lips and into the crook of Junmyeon’s neck, moaning louder and louder until, all of a sudden, he stops, chokes on a sound, and spills, spills all over Junmyeon’s fingers, eyes scrunched shut in a moment of euphoria, flashes of different colors seeming to appear behind his eyelids as his body twitches and trembles, tremors of pleasure coursing down his body, everything alight as he peaks.

And Junmyeon, Junmyeon is there, talking Sehun through it like he needs it, his voice soft as his lips press against the shell of Sehun’s ear, saying, “There you go, baby. That’s it. Feels good, right? Daddy made you feel good, Daddy let you cum.”

Sehun nods, and, in doing so, nuzzles against the column of Junmyeon’s neck. They’re both still for a few moments until Sehun presses his lips against Junmyeon’s skin and says, voice breathy, “Thank you, Daddy.”

“Anything for you, baby,” Junmyeon says. He pulls his hand up and Sehun leans back, getting back onto the flats of his forearms as he looks over at Junmyeon from a small distance. Junmyeon pulls out of him, still hard, and Sehun notices.

Sehun says, “I wanna make you cum.”

“Yeah?” Junmyeon asks.

“Yeah,” Sehun says. He moves a bit, pulling his legs towards his chest. “Please, spread your legs a little.”

Junmyeon does as such now that Sehun’s legs are out of the way. Then, Sehun scoots back a bit, resting his head, neck, and shoulders rest against the headboard once more. He pushes his legs forward, resting them straight between Junmyeon’s legs. Then, it clicks, and Junmyeon gets it, scooting forward, straddling Sehun’s body. Sehun licks his lower lip, slowly, deliberate in trying to tantalize. Junmyeon’s hand, still soiled, comes to lift Sehun’s chin. Sehun winces, but he looks up, feeling the warm stickiness of Junmyeon’s palms. Junmyeon wipes Sehun’s own release onto Sehun’s jawline, chin, and cheeks. Sehun takes it, still staring up at Junmyeon. Sehun is almost mesmerized, watching Junmyeon so hard at work, dirtying him in the most literal sense.

“Want me to fuck your mouth, baby?” Junmyeon asks.

“Yes, Daddy,” Sehun mumbles. Junmyeon, once his hand is clean, brings it to wrap around the base of his cock. He holds it, and, in the most pornographic way, slaps Sehun straight across the cheek with the head of it. It is almost humorous, but Sehun can’t laugh, finding more sexy than anything else. “Want your cock.”

“Yeah,” Junmyeon says. “Thought so.”

But, even though Junmyeon is confident, cold in his air, he brings his other hand and cushions it between the headboard and the back of Sehun’s head. Sehun then opens his mouth, and Junmyeon does a slow slide in. Sehun keeps his eyes on Junmyeon and lets his mouth hang open, half out of adoration for Junmyeon and half out of the fact that Junmyeon is starting to thrust onto his tongue, hips rocking forward. Sehun lets Junmyeon set the pace and doesn’t do much else but look up, into Junmyeon’s eyes until his head is tilting back again and he’s grunting.

“Like it when I fuck your mouth like this, baby?” Junmyeon asks even though he won’t get an answer. Instead, he gets a strangled gurgle. “Mm, baby, you feel so good.”

Sehun lets him go on, driving Junmyeon to his release. This is godly, Sehun thinks, he hasn’t seen anything this holy in a while. There’s something so powerful in the way Junmyeon puts both of his hands behind Sehun’s head, cradling it in a sense, as he thrusts forward rapidly, making Sehun gag and choke on his own spit. It’s that odd mixture of care and control that Sehun loves so much, embodying itself in one moment, one heavenly, heavenly moment.

“Fuck,” Junmyeon says. Then, he pulls out and draws a hand back to stroke himself, quick. The head of his cock is positioned over Sehun’s still-open mouth, and he demands, “Tongue out, baby.”

Sehun obliges, sticking his tongue out, panting like a dog, waiting for what he knows will come next.

Junmyeon releases onto Sehun’s tongue, white dripping off the pink muscle and down onto Sehun’s chin that’s already well stained.

“Swallow,” Junmyeon says, and Sehun nods, drawing his tongue back into his mouth, collecting whatever he can and swallowing. Then, Junmyeon brings his hand to Sehun’s face again and, with rough fingers, pushes whatever other release there is on his face onto Sehun’s already parted lips. Sehun licks it all up, swallows it all down, and then sticks his tongue out again. Junmyeon smiles down at him, warm as he speaks, “There you go, baby.”

“It’s all gone,” Sehun says. “I did it.”

“Good boy,” Junmyeon says. Sehun slumps against the headboard and stares at Junmyeon, who just keeps going, “That’s my good boy. You’re so good. I’m so proud of you.”

Sehun’s heart swells and Junmyeon gets off the bed. Sehun takes the opportunity to slide down onto the mattress properly, laying his body down on the soft, soft sheets, relaxing into them. Junmyeon picks up the clothing strewn on the floor, chucking the articles into the hamper and pulling on a fresh pair of boxers.

Sehun rests on the bed, watching Junmyeon scurry about the room, tidying it meticulously. It’s fairly silent, and, according to the window, it’s completely dark now. Then, Junmyeon, as he puts the lubricant back into the drawer, asks Sehun what he wants for dinner. Sehun shrugs and says, “I don’t know. Maybe spaghetti.”

Junmyeon says, “okay”, then leans down to be able to kiss Sehun, who’s still on the bed. Sehun kisses back, and Junmyeon tells him that he can help make the sauce, if he wants. Sehun, hearing this, gets excited, and finally gets off the bed to pull on a pair of boxers and throw his stockings into the hamper. He runs his hands through his hair and pulls out his remaining hair clips. Junmyeon leads him into the kitchen, and they’re both as casual as ever, laughing and musing about how their days had gone.

♡♡♡

♡

playedrough — Thu, 17 Sep 2015 03:11:13 GMT

welcome