Not much to really say. I have a job interview at 6 PM at a bar and grill in the next town. I just hope they are willing to be flexible. James wants me to come to St. Louis this evening, since our time will be cut short for a stupid out of town job. After the interview though, not sure it would be worth it. He will probably be in bed or ready to go to bed by the time I get there. He wants to do something tonight, but if I get there at 9 or 10 PM, he will be tired since he gets up so early everyday :(
I have been depressed since last night. Possibly due to being that time of the month, but James reminded me that I only have about 6 weeks before I move. It is so depressing. Sure, graduate school is exciting and everything, but I hate the idea of moving so far away from my family. It scares me so much. See, I have an anxiety disorder, and my biggest concern is that something will happen to my family and that I didn't get to spend enough time with them. This is really something that bothers me so much. Not sure what to do. There is a college in St. Louis I could have attended, but I never got around to finishing my application because the program at Clemson is slightly different, and I like it better. Sometimes I wish I would have at least seen if I could have gotten accepted at St. Louis University which is a private university and still a good school (known for their medical program around here). Now it is too late because I do not have all my reccomendation letters and everything. I haven't passed the deadline, but in a way, I already feel like I made my choice and shouldn't back out. I am a brave person. I generally do things I fear just to get over them, and can do this, it will just be unpleasant. I love spending time with my family and I love being able to just drive down and see them within 20 minutes. I will miss that so much. The past two days I have spent with them. I honestly enjoy my time with them, and to think, after August, I lose that...got me in tears now just thinking about it...
Enough, I am going to go find something to keep my mind off of it for now.
I have been depressed since last night. Possibly due to being that time of the month, but James reminded me that I only have about 6 weeks before I move. It is so depressing. Sure, graduate school is exciting and everything, but I hate the idea of moving so far away from my family. It scares me so much. See, I have an anxiety disorder, and my biggest concern is that something will happen to my family and that I didn't get to spend enough time with them. This is really something that bothers me so much. Not sure what to do. There is a college in St. Louis I could have attended, but I never got around to finishing my application because the program at Clemson is slightly different, and I like it better. Sometimes I wish I would have at least seen if I could have gotten accepted at St. Louis University which is a private university and still a good school (known for their medical program around here). Now it is too late because I do not have all my reccomendation letters and everything. I haven't passed the deadline, but in a way, I already feel like I made my choice and shouldn't back out. I am a brave person. I generally do things I fear just to get over them, and can do this, it will just be unpleasant. I love spending time with my family and I love being able to just drive down and see them within 20 minutes. I will miss that so much. The past two days I have spent with them. I honestly enjoy my time with them, and to think, after August, I lose that...got me in tears now just thinking about it...
Enough, I am going to go find something to keep my mind off of it for now.