Update on things

I'm at the bookstore an hour early because Kevin drops me off in the morning, and I'm trying to resist the huge platter of brownies sitting before me. I've lost 22 pounds since Christmas (weight I put on while being unemployed) and I'm almost to my pre- unemployment weight, so I'm trying to stay away (I had half of one yesterday and we're planning a splurge treat this weekend, so no brownies today means really delicious dessert this weekend).

I have an interview for a smaller, yet still exciting, opportunity later today. It's pretty much for a job doing what I already do, but with full- time pay and benefits. I'm nervous. Not that I'll blow the interview, I'm rather calm about that. Whatever happens happens there. I'm nervous about what it'll mean if I do get it. It's been so long since I worked a regular 8-5 type job. Sure, it'll be doing stuff I do for fun anyway... But I fear that I'll work for assholes again, like I've done before.

We would have to move for this job, but it's a place we've wanted to move anyway. Still, there's that...

But I don't have the job yet, so I'm trying not to think too hard about these things. I know nothing a about the position, the company, or even the pay. It's too early to start envisioning what my life could be like before knowing these details.

When I Googled salary ranges for the job title in the city it's located, well, let's just say the lowest salary was well above what I considered asking for. I know I can't go by the median salary, which would be delightful, but even the low end is double what I thought it would be. And that's according to several reputable sites. So there's that... They asked me in my email what my salary requirements were. I didn't want to low- ball myself, but I was still in shock at what I found online, so I went with the cliche answer of "I'm flexible" and told them there were a lot of factors other than salary for me to consider (which is true). I mean, yes, I've been doing this as a freelancer and on my own, but I don't have years of experience either. I'm practical. I'd rather hear a range from them and consider the compensation package, company culture, and everything else that comes with the job too. It worked. I have a phone interview today.

So I guess we will see. I don't know what I want... I love doing my own thing, but the financial uncertainty is hard. It would actually give me more time and money to devote to the things I want to do, and I could let go off freelancing jobs I'm not enjoying so much. Right now, I spend most of my time writing articles and working for clients, and I put in more than 8 hour days doing it. I work weekends, evenings, you name it. A job with a decent salary would mean I could have my evenings and weekends to devote to my personal writing and publishing again.

But there's so much I still don't know. My experience at the nonprofit has scared me, but the good news is I don't have to take this job if it's not a good fit. I am able to survive doing what I'm doing now. If this isn't the opportunity for me, I'll be okay until I find one that is right for me, or I'll continue doing what I'm doing and likely get even better at it.

Keep those fingers crossed still... I'm waiting on a few other things that could also be big. I can use all the good vibes I can get. It's been a stressful, exhausting month.

I caved and started eating a brownie. Thankfully they're stale and taste funny ( I have no idea how long they've been here). Made it easy to throw it away after a couple bites.