I received a package from my mom today. I had accidentally left my birthday gifts at my sister's house and she sent them to me along with a few new things she added in. She felt guilty because she didn't get me much for birthday, and then I ended up spending $100 on Samantha's glasses while we were there and that made her feel extra guilty. But I have the money, they don't. I'm not worried about all that.

But getting the stuff just made me so severely homesick. It always does when she sends me stuff. Like last Valentine's Day she sent me some Peanuts socks because she knows I love Peanuts and it's been our thing. This time she sent a Snoopy shirt that I wasn't expecting. It's the little things like that.

I don't miss the place, I much prefer California over Missouri. I miss the people. A lot. I worry my mom will get sick or I might lose her in the next few years, and there's guilt because I'm not spending time with her.

I simply can't leave though... I have so much here. I just wish all the people I loved could be here too instead of spread out like this.

It's tough sometimes. Even after two years in, it's tough.

Christmas can't get here soon enough. After that, I'm not sure when I'll see them again with my Jon's stupid policy never letting us have time off except when they close the office (which I have to take unpaid time for).

Ugh. I need to work out and work on a few things. Hopefully this will all pass and I'll feel better soon.

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